DISCLAIMER: WARNING!! This is a work of homoerotic fictions written by an adult for the purpose of entertainment for other adults. If you are not eighteen year of age or you have any problem with this type of literature then this is a warning to read no further. The author will not be held responsible for any reason if you do. (Codes: M/M M/t Gay Incest Anal Oral)
Comments/questions: waddiebear@yahoo.com Copyright 2002 Waddie Greywolf ================================================================ BOOGER RED & COWBOY By Waddie Greywolf
CHAPTER 3
For some strange reason my company in basic training at Fort Ord were all Texans except two. One was an Okie. We gave him a lot of shit about being from Oklahoma. He gave as good as he got. He fit right in.
"Texans hell!" he would bellow, "The way us Okies see it, Texas is just baja Oklahoma, so don't gimme' no shit!" Then he would fall out laughing. Everyone in the company liked him. His name was Ken White; funniest man you'd ever want to meet; had something outrageously funny to say about almost everything. He kept everyone in our company in stitches most of the time. The other unusual thing about my reporting for the draft was who arrived later for induction. After saying my goodbyes, and the Johnson crew left, Buck Yates and his dad arrived. I saw them first and waved. They looked surprised to see me, walked over and shook hands.
"Damn, Son! They get you, too?" asked his dad, Dan Yates, as he shook my hand.
"`Fraid so, Mr. Yates, my family brought my draft letter with them but didn't give it to me until after the rodeo. If'n they had, you guys might a' won. Lot of good winning's gonna' do either me or Buck,---now. Glad to see you, Bro, and I hate like hell to see you,---if you know what I mean." I told Buck.
"I do, Billy, I do, but I'm glad to see a friendly face, even if you and your dad robbed us." he laughed and slapped me on the back.
"Awh hell, Buck! We just got lucky and you know it."
"Luck hell! Who're you kidding, Son?" interjected Mr. Yates, "You two were the best. We watched you and your dad all year, (we never told the Yates' Uncle Bud wasn't my dad) competed against you and him in fifteen or twenty rodeos, and we watched you get better and better. When you guys beat us in Denver I told Buck we'd better do some serious practicing. We tried, Son, but we went up against the best and lost. Like Buck told me, `Being number two ain't bad.' Billy, would you consider doing me a favor?"
"Anything, Mr. Yates."
"Take care of my boy. Keep an eye out for him if you can. He's a good boy, but he has problems chewing gum and walking at the same time." he laughed at his joke but underneath I knew he was worried about his son. "Truth is, Son, I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid for both of you. He don't like me to be maudlin but I love him, Billy, he's all I have in this world that means a damn to me."
"Don't worry, Mr. Yates, we'll look out for each other. If'n I see he's gonna' get brave I'll rope and hog tie him `til it passes, and I hope ta' hell he'll do the same for me."
"You got it, Cowboy." Buck said. He didn't seem to be so lost or worried looking as when they first walked into the induction center.
"See you after you check in, Bro. To tell the truth, Mr. Yates, I'm real glad to see a friendly face."
"Well,---seeing's how we got no choice about this rodeo, if'n I had my druthers of any buckaroo I'd want by my side, it'ud be you, Cowboy. Hell, they can't do nothing to us wranglers?" I was shocked and flattered by Buck's bold statement. I wanted to believe him. I found myself blurting out a reply.
"Damn, Buck! I was just think'n the same about you, Bro." Then Buck grabbed me and hugged me. Then his dad, Dan Yates, gave me a big hug, too. It almost made me feel like I had family going to boot camp with me.
Buck was the only other man in our outfit that wasn't a Texan, but because he and I were good friends, cowboys together, numbers one and two top team ropers in the county, they accepted him as a Texan. Any real cowboy is immediately accepted as Texan.
There were four of us that bonded in boot camp. We looked out for each other. We helped each other and urged each other on. They were simple things but meaningful things every cowboy on the circuit quickly learns. You cheer your buddy on when he rides and he does the same for you. Beside Buck and I, the other two men were Ken White the Okie, and a big man from Bandera, Texas, Rowley Twissleman. We were all cowboys with rodeo experience. (Rowley, pronounced Rau-lee, or Row rhymes with now)
Ken White rode bareback broncs and bulls. He wasn't a big man, but because he was gung-ho about everything, you'd swear he was six feet tall. Most times when someone is gung-ho' in a unit he's made fun of by the other men cause he usually can't back up or perform well enough to warrant such an attitude. Not White! He was athletic, quick witted, solved intricate problems quickly, strong as a bull, didn't take shit off nobody, refused to take anything seriously and was loved by everyone in the company. However, there was one person, White took very seriously,---Rowley Twissleman. He took one look at Twissleman at the induction center and never left the big man's side; through boot camp and Nam. The Sergeant asked White one day if he and Twissleman were queer.
"Oh God, I hope not, Sarge. There ain't enough chiffon in the state of Texas to make this one a dress." White shot back. The entire company was disrupted for twenty minutes. The Sergeant was so unprepared for White's come back, he lost all composure and doubled up with laughter. He never asked again.
White pissed off the Sergeant daily and usually the three of us were considered his co-conspirators. One morning we were told to put on our dress uniforms for an inspection. We were going to participate in a base parade. He went down the line checking every man. He came to White and looked down at his shoes.
"What'd ya' shine them shoes with, Son, a greasy rag?"
"No Sir, Sergeant! A chocolate bar!" Sarge tried hard to keep a straight face but finally ducked his head to laugh. He just told White,---"Try to do better next time, Son."--- As time went on, even the damn Drill Sergeant fell in love with White until towards the last he'd refer to White as the model soldier everyone should strive to be like. Typically, when the other guys mocked him or razzed him for being Sarge's pet,---he would have some irreverent comeback that would have his attackers doubled up with laughter. He not only became the Sergeant's favorite but the mascot of the entire company. Nobody had anything bad to say about White.
Rowley Twissleman was a big Swed by descent. Rowley looked like Buck in one way. He looked like a cowboy; even with his clothes off. He was admired by our entire company. Twissleman didn't talk a lot;-didn't have to, White did most of the talking for both. He was a fine looking man and was razzed continually cause he had the single, biggest dick in the company. It was a good two inches longer that the next longest man and big around, too. (I never noticed but others said Buck's was the next largest.) Everyone referred to Rowley as B. D. Twissleman-B. D' stood for `Big Dong'- they told him if'n he got one of his legs shot off in Nam he'd have a spare to walk on! The size of his cock was only one of the things that White loved about Twissleman, but it was one of the biggest.
When you go through induction you're reduced to the least common denominator, a piece of meat to be processed in the military's grinder. Doesn't matter if you were two rodeo stars, a college football hero, or a concert violinist, you all come out the grinder looking the same. We took our physicals, got our shots, hair shaved off, and other demeaning inspections I won't describe. Most times we stood waiting, assholes to belly buttons. That isn't just a phrase. We were literally standing pressed tightly against each other's bodies.
White made sure he was standing in front of Twissleman with this self satisfied, stupid grin on his face. Later, Twissleman laughed and told us he had to grit his teeth and think of anything else to keep from getting erect when his big dick was pressed right into the crack of White's ass. Of course White didn't make it any easier for the big man by squeezing his butt cheeks around Twissleman's cock. Twissleman finally leaned over and whispered in White's ear, "If--you-don't-stop--that, I'm a' gonna' check your oil with my dip stick."
"That's fine, as long as you do the lube job first, Cowboy." White shot back. Rowley said it was at that moment he fell in love with White. They became inseparable as buddies and friends.
The military won't admit it but they encourage strong friendships between men. They see it happening right under their noses but as long as there's no overt sexuality they turn their heads the other way and chalk it up as two men becoming buddies. Hell, Buck and I were so demoralized by induction we quickly bonded. We were asshole to belly buttons in front of Twissleman and White. Buck shocked the holy hell out of me by leaning over my back and whispering in my ear.
"You know, Cowboy, you're a good looking cowboy with your clothes on but you're even better looking without clothes."
I didn't respond but I did smile at him. I told Buck later he didn't know how close he came to getting us both thrown out as undesirables. My ass started twitching so bad I damn near threw him to the floor and sat on his dick. White thought that was a riot. Buck and Rowley thought it was pretty funny, too.
White and Twissleman made a perfect pair. Rowley was big, strong, handsome and quiet. White was smaller, energetic, gung-ho, funny, talkative, good looking, social and fell deeply in love with the big Swed. White brought out Rowley's better qualities and Rowley rounded off the rough edges of White's sometimes frenetic personality. Twissleman could reign White in with a quick glance in his direction. White would immediately shut up or tone down his act. By accepting Twissleman as a social barometer and Twissleman needing White to make him more sociable they formed a cooperative inter-dependancy that worked and was comfortable for both.
Rowley was the biggest of the four of us and a top notch cowboy. Twissleman rode saddle broncs and bulldogged steers. He became the heart' of the cowboys' because he had such a big heart. There was no problem so big Twissleman couldn't find a solution to it. Most of the men came to him if they had a problem and Rowley would patiently listen and either give advice or try to help them. Most times he succeeded. He wasn't big and dumb;-not by a long shot. Rowley was intelligent, almost as quick witted as White, and once in a great while would level White with a one liner that would leave White floundering like fish out a' water. He was the only man in our company that could leave White without a come back. Twissleman would nail his ass to the wall. Rowley reminded me of a line from a poem I once read: "unless statistics lie, he was more brave then me, more blonde than you."
The four of us became inseparable, entertaining each other for hours with rodeo stories. Anytime there was a shit job to do the Sergeant had memorized our names before all the others. Maybe it was because he caught White referring to him as Sergeant Mom and the four of us laughing our ass's off. Sarge was a tough audience---didn't think it was funny at all.
"GUNN, WHITE, YATES, and TWISSLEMAN, front and center!" Then we'd be told the good news that we were on KP or some other unpleasant job. We didn't care. We liked being together and formed deep friendships for each other. We got nicknamed the cowboys.' Billy the Kid, Roddy Yates, Butch and Sundance. White was Sundance. We also became the leaders of the company. If the sergeant wanted to make sure something got done he gave the job to the cowboys,' and he knew it would be done right.
Boot camp wasn't as bad as any of us thought it might be. I came out heavier, muscled out, and in better shape than I'd ever been in my life. My family swore I was six inches taller when I came home from boot camp. Buck Yates always was a stud to me, but he was transformed into a young God by the end of boot camp. I thought of him as `sex on the hoof.' Prime, U.S. grade A cowboy beef. Damn, he was good looking; made my ass twitch and my dick drip. Talk about wanting to eat someone's ass. Buck had the most edible looking ass in the company.
We were doing some maneuver where we had to crawl over each other in leap frog advancement to get to our objective. I kept a hard-on the whole time and Buck could feel it every time I crawled over him. He thought that was super funny. He was a great sport but could also kid me unmercifully.
"I suppose that means you wanna' stick that big buckaroo dick up my butt, huh, Cowboy?"
"Oh fuck no, Buck! I got something else I wanna' shove up your ass as far as I can get it."
"Yeah, what's that, Cowboy?"
"My tongue." I shot back. Buck started laughing and I didn't think we were gonna' be able to finish.
"Goddamn it, Cowboy! Now you got me hard." We almost got shot, too.
We knew we were falling in love. He was the first man my age that wanted to love me. He was so good hearted, giving, funny and loving I couldn't help falling in love with him if I'd wanted to. One other quality that Buck had I never experienced with anyone else my age. He had a deep abiding, simple faith. He believed.
Buck would have done anything in the world for me and I felt the same way about him. I knew I had Booger at home but I couldn't help it. I'd been thrown into this situation with a cowboy that I'd lusted for a couple of years. He became my partner, best buddy, friend, and confident in boot camp. We were about to be sent into the bowels of hell.
We wanted that closeness, we needed it, because even though we didn't want to admit it to each other we were scared to death. We became closer than friends, we became bonded brothers. It was a natural thing to happen. Twissleman and White were the same. There were at least six other pair of men that bonded during boot camp.
Buck and I were hopelessly attracted to each other like opposite poles of a bar magnet. We couldn't do anything about it. There was absolutely no privacy. Sure didn't keep us from talking about it and playing grab ass though. We had thirty days leave before reporting back to Ft. Ord. You usually only get two weeks but true to military intelligence, or lack thereof, we got two weeks extra. The way the Sarge explained it was more confusing than just to say somebody fucked up.
I sent a couple of letters to Master Red in care of Johnson's Ranch in Glen Rose, and got one brief letter back from him. I ask him to come see me in Mason, my home town, if he was going to be in the area and spend a little time with me. I gave him a date of the second week. I thought I could explain to Red what happened in boot camp and tell him not to wait for me. I was caught on the horns of a dilemma and didn't know what the hell to do.
Dear Cowboy,
I don't write to well. I know how to. I just don't do it much. For you, I'll make an exception. Getting your letter made me feel great. You know all my thoughts, Cowboy. I keep thinking about the first evening we met. Don't get much better'n that. Of course, I'll come to Mason. Looking forward to seeing you again. May bring a couple of buddies with me. You're in my thoughts, Son.
your beast,
Booger Red
True to his word, Booger and two other bikers pulled up in front of my house accompanied by the sheriff of our county, my uncle, who led them over to show them where I lived. Uncle Bud was glad to see old Booger again, and knew his two companions as well. They were the two of the biggest men I'd ever seen in my life. They were giants; huge men, bigger than Walker Johnson.
"Billy Gunn, meet Master Jim Johnson, Walker's younger but bigger brother and his family clan leader Master Beryl Mc Innis." Red introduced them. I shook their hands and marveled at their size. They dwarfed the bikes they were riding.
"Damn, Red!" said Big Beryl, "You said he was pretty but my God in heaven---" he said, shaking his head. "Fuck the handshake, Son! I want a hug and a kiss." He could have it.
That man was so damn big I'd of jumped up and down on one leg and whistled like a' pig for him. He did the same thing Master Johnson had done when I met him. He picked me up, pulled me to his massive chest to support me and planted a big one on me. I loved the man immediately.
"Me, too!" said Big Jim, "If'n he gets one, I get one, too." I hugged and kissed them both. Then I hugged Booger and invited them in. I called dad at work. He and Uncle Joe closed the shop early and came home. They knew all three of the men. They were in Korea together. Then, Master Red said something I found very interesting and funnier'n shit.
"Well, Gunn," Red said to my dad, "You still fucking old Joe after all these years?" My dad shot him a look, if it had been a gun, Red would have been a dead man. Master Red giggled nervously; he realized he'd let the cat out of the bag.
"Ooops! Oh shit! I'm sorry, Gunn, I should'a known better."
"Awh hell! No harm done, Red." my dad told him. "It's time Billy three knew anyway." Dad called me Billy three' sometimes instead of sounding pretentious and saying, the third;' however, Dad never said another word to me about it.
I spent a great, sex filled week with my magnificent beast and slept in my bed with him. I didn't ask my dad. I felt if I was old enough to die for my country, I damn well had the right to invite who I wanted to my bed. I sure as hell wasn't going to be shuffled off to my Aunt Ethel's on Friday afternoons any more.
I thought it was funny to find Uncle Joe coming out of my dad's bedroom one morning, tip toeing, his boots in his hand, with a funny look on his face. He smiled and winked at me. I didn't give a shit. I was happy to find out. Uncle Joe knew I understood.
My dad surely knew what was going on in my bedroom between Red and I. The springs on my rusty old bed sounded like the hinges on an outhouse door in a hurricane. When old Red got way up there in me and started rootin' around, gettin' some good stuff for himself, it sounded like one of them East Indian raga bands that play all that weird shit.
Dad would have a knowing smirk on his face when we came down for coffee the next morning. He never said a word. I guess he figured if I didn't ask, he damn sure wasn't either. Besides, if he said anything I had piece of info in my back pocked that would've stopped him dead in his tracks. I hadn't told him about running into his old `fucking' buddy from Korea, Barn Jarvis.
I had a chance to get to know the two giants. I could have fallen in love with either of them. They were wonderful men. Big Beryl lost his little slave Jimmy in a bad bike accident several years before and Big Jim lost his slave several months before that in Europe somewhere. They were still grieving and somewhat dependant on each other. Not really dependant, sort a' using each other to lean on to help get over their loss.
Master Red promised he would write while I was in Nam. I was to send him letters at the Johnson Ranch. I enjoyed being with him that week. He and I fell more in love with each other. It was hard letting him go when they left. I didn't have the heart nor the courage to tell him about Buck.
Growing up ain't all it's cracked up to be. I didn't want this kind of situation hanging over my head but I didn't feel I was totally to blame for it either. I was young and impressionable and these men were older players. They'd been in the game three times longer than I had. But,--- I did make the big, ugly man a promise.
Uncle Bud and I took off to go fishing for several days. We ended up staying away from our town almost a week. Aunt Laura didn't mind. She knew Uncle Bud and I were close. She could tell he was so worried he might never see me again. We went with Aunt Laura's blessing.
We drove to a lake where Uncle Bud and Aunt Laura had a cabin. We stayed there all week. I never had a more wonderful week with anyone. I think he realized how much he missed me during boot camp and was afraid for me to go to Nam. He never said anything, but I knew. He didn't want me to go, but wouldn't ask me to go with Booger again. Booger did, he wanted me to run away with him and the two giants, but I couldn't.
Uncle Bud couldn't believe how I had grown and filled out in boot camp. I was now just about his size, and we looked like identical twins; only one was born thirty year later. Uncle Bud was right. We discovered that week at the cabin my dick turned out to be almost the same size as his and looked just like his.
We didn't get much fishing done. Mostly we just fucked. We were trying to drink as much of each other as we could. It seemed like we couldn't get enough of each other. I loved having sex with my beast, Master Red, but there was something special Uncle Bud and I had that was electric. We were still a team.
Uncle Bud surprised the shit out of me the second morning we were there. We stood looking in the mirror of the bathroom after relieving ourselves of our morning piss hard-ons. It was like looking at myself in the future. I wasn't ashamed of what I saw. If I looked half as good as the man standing next to me I would consider myself blessed.
"You're a fine looking man, Cowboy." Uncle Bud said softly. "You're no longer a kid,...you're a man, Son. And your Master ain't ashamed to tell you he needs that man this morning." I looked at him puzzled.
It dawned on me what my uncle was getting at. I smiled at him in the mirror and slowly moved my hand to place it gently on one of his ass cheeks. He smiled back at me in the mirror, knowing I got his message. He turned into my arms and we kissed like we never kissed before.
I would never consider Uncle Bud to be anything but my Master,... but if my Master needed any pleasure from his slave, standing in adoration of him, it was only his to ask. It was the first time I'd ever had my dick in a man. Providence couldn't have brought me a sweeter, hotter, more understanding fuck for my first time than my Uncle Bud. Damn, he was a hot man! My old dick was rock hard at the thought of getting into my uncle's ass. I admired his ass so many years. Now, I was going to see why men liked to fuck. I threw caution and inhibitions to the winds. By the time I was through tonguing and cleaning his ass Uncle Bud was hotter than a fresh fucked fox in a forest fire. He was pleading for his Cowboy to take him. Fuck the lubricant!
"Take me, Sweet baby! You know how you've come to like being taken. Your uncle needs that, Son. Don't disappoint your Master, Cowboy. Never question him." There was so much pre-come from my dick, I quickly moved the head around his love muscle as I watched him relax and dilate. Uncle Bud was ready for my dick. We were the same size, exactly. I placed it at his rosebud and leaned forward to kiss him. He opened and almost sucked me into his depths with a sigh that released the air from his soul.
There are no words to describe the feeling of being inside this God I worshiped. I was gently kissing him and couldn't help the tears that were forming in my eyes. He began to feel them drop on his face as we embraced.
"You all right, Sweet baby?" Uncle Bud whispered as he bussed a kiss behind my ear.
"Better'n just all right, Uncle Bud." I took one long slow loving stroke and docked myself deep in his ass.
"Oh shit, Darlin,' you feel just like your old man in there."
"Dad use to fuck you, Uncle Bud?"
"Yeah, long time ago, when we were young men. Your old man is one hell of a fuck, Cowboy. If he ever offers, take it from me, he comes highly recommended. In all my life, Son, I ain't never had no man leave me as satisfied as Big Gunn." I took another couple of heavy duty, industrial strength strokes into my uncle to test his roadability. His ass was chowing down on my dick. He was meeting each stroke the way he'd so patiently taught me almost two years ago; however, I could tell, he was moving with me with no conscious effort. He knew what he needed and was certain I was now able to handle this next step in my training. This was, for all practical purposes, my graduation. He had poured into to me all the training and love to make me the best partner for a man that he could. Now he was ready to reap the benefits of his efforts. We both knew I was ready for this moment.
I knew what he needed was not for me to be giving to him as his slave. My job, my only purpose, was to please my Master and to please him I had to take from him what he wanted so desperately to give me. It clicked in my mind that while I was still his slave it was my duty to take all from him I needed; all he needed to give me and just a tad more for myself. There were no questions in my mind. I was not concerned that I was going to hurt him nor that I was fucking him to make him feel good. I had to fuck him for me. Otherwise, what he needed would have been compromised.
As in all his training I worked hard to please him and gain his approval. There were no sweeter words anyone could have spoken to me than, "You did good, Son. I'm proud of you." Uncle Bud said those words to me over and over the more I learned and the better I got as his partner. Now was the time to show my Master my love. To reach down to the depths of his soul, grab hold of what I needed and demand that he respond to his slave the way his slave needed. The more I thought about it, the harder I got as I was now steadily fucking him. I could feel him responding to me, approving of my technique with every meeting of his ass to the base of my cock.
"You were so ready for this, Cowboy." he whispered to me, "I got to admit, when I saw you standing there when that bus drove away last week, in your uniform, straight and tall, your old uncle's ass hole started twitching involuntarily. That's when I knew we were both ready for this. I'm so fucking proud of you, Son."
"Oh God, Uncle Bud! I love you so much but this is one door I wonder if you were wise to open?" Uncle Bud laughed softly under me.
"That good, huh, Cowboy?" he said meeting two pretty good strokes.
"I feel like I could fuck you forever, Uncle Bud." I leaned in to kiss him gently then whispered to him. "But I know one damn thing for certain."
"What's that, Sweet baby?"
"I ain't a' gonna' stop fucking you until you either shoot or holler `calf rope.'"
"Then when I do,---take your prize Cowboy. You damn well earned this one." I started in fucking Uncle Bud like I was a professional bull rider. I was strong and steady in the saddle. Weren't no way this big ass bull underneath me was gonna' buck me off. Damned if he weren't trying, too. The old bull was meeting every one of my landings in that saddle of his with almost equal strength to my stroke.
I picked up my speed and began to watch Uncle Bud's face as I found his prostate. A glazed look came over his handsome face as I leaned in to kiss him again. I was right on it when I felt his ass muscle start to gnaw on my dick. Felt like the damn thing was trying to bite my dick off.
We were kissing furiously and I was fucking him solidly with repeated strokes over and over. I felt him stiffen and then felt his hot cowboy load shooting up between us. It kept coming and coming. I never thought he was going to stop coming as I relentlessly plowed his red Earth.
"Take your prize, Cowboy! Give it to your Master, Son!" That's all I needed to hear from my cowboy uncle. I began to unload in him all the love, trust, and feelings I had for that man. It came out my dick so hard and with such force, I didn't think I was going to stop.
It was one of the most emotional, hard climaxes of my life. It was as if my soul had manufactured the ejaculate rather than my low hanging balls. I was shooting my soul into the depths of my God, the man I worshiped above all others. I was overwhelmed and humbled. I collapsed on top of Uncle Bud and started weeping from the ecstacy of the moment.
"There, there, Sweet baby. What cha crying about? You done good, Cowboy. You took damn good care of your Master. Couldn't have asked for better,... and don't you dare take it out til I tell you to, neither!" He laughed.
"Ah, shit, Uncle Bud! It was so good, I couldn't help it. You made me realize something."
"What's that, Son?"
"The way you made my dick feel I know I got a long way to go to become as good a fuck as my Master."
"You let the man that's gonna' end up being your Master judge that for himself."
"Thank you, Uncle Bud. I love you so damn much. Even if you was my dad I wouldn't give this up."
"Neither would I, Billy. Neither would I."
I bonded with three great young men in boot camp, one of whom I was falling in love with. I had to go to make sure his ass didn't get shot; I promised his dad.
My buddies, White and Twissleman fell in love during basic training. Of course, they couldn't do anything about it either because we were watched every minute day and night. In basic training Twissleman would get a good shot of White's little bum, look at Buck and I with this pitiful, sad eyed, frustrated look, raise his hand to his face, and bite his knuckles.
I knew how he felt. I'd be in the showers with Buck, and could imagine tasting that big, fat, cowboy cock. Believe it or not, Buck looked like a damn cowboy even without his clothes. Stark naked he looked like a buckaroo. He was living proof that clothing does not make the man.
Ken and Rowley decided to spend some time together during leave. Buck and I decided to spend our last week of leave together before reporting back to Ft. Ord. We knew we were bound for Nam.
Since my home town of Mason was on the way back to Ft. Ord, Buck took a bus from Tucson. Dad and I met him at the Greyhound station. I'd invited White and Twissleman to stay with us, but they didn't know whether they could make it or not; however, we no sooner got something to eat at the diner when all hell broke loose. There were three sheriff cars around the diner like there was a robbery. Sirens and bubble gum machines on top spinning `round! In walks my Uncle Bud, big smile on his face, with White and Twissleman in tow.
"These young men claim to know you, Cowboy."
"Never seen `em before in my life, Uncle Bud. Throw their ass's in jail." I smiled real big to see them.
"Yeah, Sheriff Cummings, they're hooligans." added Buck. Rowley and Ken walked over to Buck and I, we all yelled and hugged each other. I introduced them to everyone there. We sat down and Uncle Bud bought us lunch. We had a great time. They were impressed that the sheriff of the county brought them directly to me. They'd walked from the bus station to his office to ask directions to our place.
Dad drove us over to our house. Hell, we had plenty of room. We had four bedrooms upstairs we hadn't used in years. I offered Rowley and Ken separate bedrooms. They looked at Buck and I like we were daft.
"You two gonna' bunk in separate rooms?" Twissleman asked.
"Oh, hell, no!" replied Buck, "And miss getting me a piece of that little buckaroo butt my dick's been drooling over for the last two years, get serious." we all laughed. I blushed and they laughed at me.
"I hear ya', Buck. I've been dreaming bout gettin' my dick up White's little butt ever since the day we met. We came here so we could be together. Sides, I always wanted me a big ole piece of Okie ass." Rowley howled with laughter, so did we.
"Well, ain't chu' the lucky one, Tex! We just happen to have a special on Okie ass today but it was sooooo good we had a run on it, sold out, and your shit out a' luck, Cowboy." White shot back at Rowley. We all howled knowing White couldn't wait to try that big cowboy on for size.
"Think your dad will get upset if he figures out what's going on, Billy?" asked White.
"Fuck no, White, he's too busy fucking my Uncle Joe." we all laughed again.
"Tell `em where you were last week, Cowboy." Buck urged smiling wickedly.
"I spent last week in bed with my Uncle Bud." I said quietly.
"Son of a bitch, that fine looking man, the sheriff, and you---?" asked Twissleman. "By the way, he looks just like you, you sure he's your uncle? We thought it was you in a sheriff's uniform when we went to his office." he said laughing.
"Yeah! I could have shit when he told me." said Buck, "They spent all year on the rodeo circuit competing against my dad and I. We thought he was Billy's dad. You're right, Rowley, they look just alike. They never told us no different. No wonder they won. They were in love." laughed Buck. "Maybe when Cowboy and I get back from Nam, we can team up and go on the circuit. We've talked about it. Hell, nobody could beat us."
We spent every day rodeoing. Once again everyone came from all around. My buddies had brought their western clothes, and we got to be known all over our small town as Billy's cowboy buddies that were going to Nam with him. We were sucking and fucking half the night and rodeoing all day. Buck and I got damn good as a team in and out of bed. He was right. If we went on the circuit, nobody could beat us. I know my dad and Uncle Joe couldn't. Dad didn't even bother to bet anymore. He just rode over and shoved a hundred bucks in my western shirt.
"What's that for, Dad?"
"Well, I ain't never been much of a dad to you, Son. Couldn't tell you how much I loved you, so I thought I'd do the next best thing; try'n buy your love."
"Hell Dad, you could have had that for five bucks." he almost fell off his horse, Tucker, laughing. It felt good to laugh with my old man. I loved him more since I found out about him and Uncle Joe. I was sent to my Aunt's all those years not to protect me from them fucking the whores but to keep me from finding out about him and Uncle Joe. What a laugh.
We had a great week. We rodeoed and partied all week like it was our last. Uncle Bud spent as much time with us as he could. The whole town sort of shut down to come to the rodeo grounds. Sign in the barber shop: Need hair cut? Come to rodeo grounds. Ask for Ed.
Uncle Bud and I roped again together. We competed friendly against anyone that wanted to. Then Buck and I would rope, and he and I were damn good together.
The last night before we were to leave we were at our house. We had so much food brought to us by the good folks of the community that were concerned for us going to Nam. We were nibbling, drinking beer and shooting the shit. My buddies were there with my dad, Uncle Joe, Uncle Bud and, Lester, a black man that had lived with us and worked for my dad and Uncle Joe for years.
Lester was also the shine man at Ed's barber shop two days a week. Had been for as many years as I could remember. He'd taken care of me as a kid; watched out for me. I loved to fish, and Lester was my fishin' buddy. Lester had money. He'd worked hard, saved his money, invested in the town and had his finger in many pies in our small community.
Lester lived a simple, unpretentious life. He worked for dad and Uncle Joe for years because he loved them. He sort of took care of them, too. Dad and Uncle Joe took him in years ago, gave him a place to stay and a job, when he didn't have anyone or anywhere to go. He lived in his own three rooms on the back part of our house and came and went as he pleased. Other than a sister, we were the only family he had, and I loved him like one of my uncles.
It never occurred to me when I was a kid growing up that Lester was any different from us because he was black He'd always been there; he was a part of my family and I loved him. One day when I was five years old I asked him why he was black.
"`Cause God left me in the oven too long, Child." he laughed and I knew he was pulling my leg. He was Lester. My good friend. I could tell him anything.
Dad and Uncle Joe had a couple of beers but Dad wasn't drunk. I knew something was bothering him, but I thought it was because he was afraid and worried about me going off to Nam. Uncle Joe catered to my dad hand and foot. I'd never seen that before. I had just enough beer,---I though I'd take a shot across Dad's bow. I winked at my buddies first.
"Uncle Joe,---are you my dad's slave?" There were a couple of giggles but then it got so quiet, you could've heard a pin drop in that kitchen. Everyone was waiting to hear Uncle Joe's response. Uncle Joe looked first at Uncle Bud, then dad not knowing whether to shit or go blind. Lester slapped his leg with his hand and fell out laughing.
"Laus, Billy, you's always could zero in on something them grown-ups never wanted you to know. You just seem's to have a sixth sense about they's secrets'"
"Yes Son," my dad spoke up for Uncle Joe, "he is; has been for years. Even before your Mother passed away. I guess you've figured out that's why we sent you to your Aunt Ethel's every Friday night for the weekend." Dad looked down at his dirty boots.
"Well,---all I can say is, he ain't much of a slave if'n your boots are that dirty, Dad." Everyone roared with laughter including Lester who almost had a heart attack. Uncle Joe smiled sheepishly. Uncle Bud smiled and winked at me.
"You gonna' tell him the rest, Mista' Gunn?" Lester asked Dad.
"Tell me what, Dad?" I asked. Dad shot a looked at Lester like he could've choked off his air supply.
"Yes Lester, I am! So, ease up, damn it! I'm working up to it. It ain't no trip around the may pole, Lester.
"Nauw, Sir. I reckon's it ain't,---but you'll do good, Mista Gunn, old Lester knows. You's a good man, Mista' Gunn!" Lester encouraged my dad. Dad ignored him.
Billy, there's something you need to know before you go off to Vietnam. We're praying nothing's gonna' happen to you, Son, but we're scared shitless. We're afraid. All of us, your aunts, Uncle Bud, Uncle Joe and me,---old Lester." Dad motioned toward Lester. Lester shook his head affirmative then frowned and looked down at his old boots.
"Goddamn it Billy, I ain't real good at this, and I know I ain't been the best father but fuck it, Son, I love you! You didn't just happen, you weren't some fucking accident, you were wanted and carefully planned for.
I wanted a son so bad I went to almost criminal lengths to have you, Billy. Not sorry I did. I'd do it again in a minute. I'm proud of you, Billy. I'm proud you carry my name. What you need to know is,---I caught the mumps from Joe when we were kids and it settled in our nuts. When we recovered it left us sterile. We couldn't have no kids.
I wanted a son more'n anything in the world, and so did your mom. I never lied to your mother about not being able to have kids, but I told her, if she married me, that someway we would, I'd see to it. She loved me and I loved her. She trusted me enough to marry me. If I said we'd have kids, she believed me. So, Billy, we had you by a sperm donor."
Everyone in the kitchen was so quiet you could hear your own heart beat. My mouth dropped open because it started to dawn on me who my real dad was, but how in the world---?
"Son, your real dad is your Uncle Bud. Bud's never know'd about it `til now. I never told him." Dad turned to Uncle Bud and spoke directly to him, "That's why I wanted you here, Bud, when I told Billy, so's you'd both find out at the same time." Dad continued, "When we were younger, your Uncle Bud and I were inseparable. We were running buddies with your Uncle Joe and Harvey Franks. I fell in love with your Uncle Bud as a young man, and I still love him today.
The four of us use to experiment sexually with each other, and then stopped as we grew up. `Cep'n Joe and me, we're still trying to get it right." My buddies laughed, "Hell, we all grew up together. We were best buddies, we were related, we were family and we did everything together.
After your mom and I were married, Joe and I took Bud out and got him drunk one night. He'd just come back from Korea, and we were all so relieved that he came home; Joe and I used that as an excuse to get him wasted. Besides, we truly loved Bud, were glad he came home and we did have a good time.
He hadn't married your momma's sister yet; he wasn't your uncle then, but he was my cousin. We got him so drunk he passed out in the back of my pick up. I sucked his dick to get him good'n hard and slipped a rubber on him. Then your Uncle Joe sucked him off.
Bud never knew `cause we took him home and put him to bed. I took the rubber home with me, slipped it on, cut the end out of the tip, and made love to your mom. She knew what I'd done, but didn't know who the donor was. She never asked, she trusted me.
When I shot, it pushed your uncle's come on through and got her pregnant." The room was silent. No one breathed. Without looking directly at him I could see tears running down Uncle Bud's face. His head was bowed and he had one hand holding his head as he wept.
"I never told your mom who the donor was that got her pregnant, but when they brought you to her and laid you in her arms, she gently undid the small blanket, took one look at your pretty little face, smiled, looked up at me and asked, "Bud?" One look, she knew and was pleased. I just nodded, `yes.'"
`He's so beautiful, Billy! I love you so much. Thank you.' she was thrilled with you. Nine months later she passed away."
I looked at Uncle Bud who had big tears running down his handsome face. That's the second time I ever saw my Uncle Bud cry. I guess he was as surprised as I was. I was shocked, stunned and thrilled but also confused because, I'd really started to love my old man. I'd always loved him because he was my dad but now that I was grown he was easier for me to love. He was still my dad after all. Now, after telling me this, the truth, which must have been hard for him, to say nothing of learning the truth about him and Uncle Joe, I loved him even more.
"That's why I let you and Bud grow close all these years, and allowed you to spend so much time with him. That's why I allowed you to go rodeoing with him instead of insisting you go to college.
I know now, I didn't do the wrong thing `cause you grow'd up to be damn near a carbon copy of him. Not a finer man walks the face of this Earth than your Uncle Bud, Son. I loved him all those years ago and still love him just as much today. All these years Bud's never know'd he gave me you.
But Billy, I want you to know,---I love you more than anything in this world. I ain't gonna' stop being your dad, and you'll always be my son. Just don't hate me, Son; you either, Bud. I've loved the two of you for so long it would kill me to think you wouldn't forgive me. I wanted a kid, a son. I wanted you, Billy, and the only man's sperm I'd consider putting into my wife's body, was Bud's, `cause I loved him."
My dad started crying. I went to him, and took him in my arms. Dad had his head in both hands sobbing his heart out. I motioned for Uncle Bud to join me. He put his hand on dad's shoulder. He was crying, too. I don't think there was a dry eye in the room.
"I love you Dad, and I know Uncle Bud does too. You're still my dad. You always will be. At least Uncle Bud and I know why the hell we look so much alike." Lester roared with laughter and so did everyone.
"I guess I should have told the two of you before you went rodeoing `cause when I saw you together in Ft. Worth I knew you'd become lovers." dad lamented.
"Well shit, Dad, it ain't like we're gonna' have an idiot child." They all laughed again including my dad. "Dad, I love you more at this moment than I ever have in my life, and that love is only gonna' grow from here. You just made my life make sense. I'm not ashamed of my love for Uncle Bud whether he's my biological father or not, and it sure as hell ain't a' gonna' stop me from pleasuring him any time he wants."
"Here! Here!" said Twissleman, and Buck.
"Ohhhh,---I think you should reconsider, Billy, now that you know he's your real dad," Ken White butted in, "but not to worry, Cowboy. I'll be more'n happy to stand in for you." volunteered White, the smart ass Okie. We all laughed. Uncle Joe even started laughing. Uncle Bud winked at Ken White. Lester had to get a glass of water he was laughing so hard.
"Ya' see's, Mista' Gunn," Lester said, gesturing with his glass of water, "I's told you it would turn out all right but it be good you told the boy before he goes over there. He be a fine young man and deserves to know sump um' that important about his life. So do Mr. Bud. Mr. Bud be one of the finest men I's ever run across. He ain't never had no kids with his missus. So you's done more good than you knows. Billy ain't gonna' stop loving you. You haven't lost your boy. He just got `emself two dads to love.
Billy's one lucky kid to have two fine mens like you and Mr. Bud for dads. As many times as that boy dragged my ass fishing over these years, I feels like he's mine, too. God alone, knows how I hate's fishing!" Lester rolled his eyeballs, and we were rolling on the floor laughing at him. I went to him and hugged the old man assuring him he was as much a dad to me as my Uncle Bud and dad. Lester always made a lot of sense. I loved that old man.
"You're right, I had no idea you did that, Gunn." said Uncle Bud, "I'm,---I'm,---Oh hell, I don't know what the fuck to say. It's been too many years ago for me to be angry. I remember the night. The only thing I can think to be mad about is not getting to enjoy the blow job." we all laughed, "As I remember, Joe use to be able to suck chrome off a bumper hitch." Uncle Bud allowed. White fell off his chair.
"Still can!" Dad told him laughing. Uncle Joe blushed. My buddies were wiping tears one minute and couldn't stop laughing the next. Maybe to find humor in something like this was a good thing. We weren't going to take it that seriously for my dad's sake. I loved my Uncle Bud for that.
"To be truthful with ya,' Gunn, you've just made me about the happiest man in the whole Goddamn world! You don't know how many times I wished Billy was my boy, and even prayed he was. I told him one time while we were on the circuit, I wish't ta' God he was my son! I was so damn jealous of you all these years. I wanted a son so bad, but never would consider leaving Laura even after we found out she couldn't have kids.
You had the perfect son I always wanted. Hell, he even looked like me! I thought it just wasn't fair, so I tried to make Billy into my own son. It was wrong of me and I apologize, but the more time we spent together the more I couldn't help loving him and thinking of him as my son. I always wondered why you let us get so close, and didn't seem threatened? Fuck!
All these years he was over to our house almost as much as he was here. Laura and I loved him coming to our house. He was always welcome! I never thought you'd let him go rodeoing with me. I thank you and God, you did! Best damn year of my life, Gunn, and I owe it all to you.
I'm sure of one thing though, God does hear our prayers. We both loved each other when we were younger, but to think you wanted to have a kid by me is an overwhelming statement of that love." Dad stood up, the two men embraced and cried in each other's arms. Hell, we all were crying, including Lester.
Uncle Bud pulled himself together and continued, "So, it would seem,---Lester here, is the only one making any sense out of all this. We should listen to the man. I know Billy well enough to know he loves the both of us. He ain't gonna' stop loving either of us.
Cowboy and I have something special that goes beyond father and son. I ain't gonna' give that up either. I love the kid too much. You'll always be his dad and I'll always be his Uncle Bud. `Sides, my Cowboy's got another name for me."
"What's that?" asked my dad.
"Master." replied Uncle Bud.
"I can live with that." laughed dad. So did everyone else in the room.
"There's only one other thing that you two need to know. I confided in Sam Jenkins sometime ago and asked him to tell old Booger. I figured if anyone deserved to know it was him. Sam didn't remember til he saw the two of you together at Walker's ranch and didn't tell Booger til after he and Cowboy where together for a couple of nights. I talked to Red about it when he was here visiting Cowboy. He sat in that chair and cried like a baby he was so happy for you, Bud."
I couldn't figure out why Booger was so important that dad should feel he needed to know. But old Booger knew before I did. Something strange was going on here but I didn't think I wanted to find out. Then Uncle Bud said the damnedest thing to my dad.
"Thanks, Gunn, I appreciate you letting him know;---means a lot to me." I never asked my dad, Uncle Bud, nor Booger. I just thought if they wanted me to know they'd tell me. Maybe I didn't want to know.
I was alone with Uncle Bud later, and thanked him for being understanding for dad's sake and I couldn't be more proud to be his son.
"After the gift your dad gave me? I would have ripped my heart out with my bare hands and handed it to him right there if he'd a'ask for it, Son. Your dad is one in a million, Billy. You couldn't have picked a better dad if you'd a' tried.
Hell, your old man was probably a better dad than I would've been. I would've spoiled you rotten and we probably wouldn't have spent that year sharing the love we did,---but God help me, even being your biological father, I'm not ashamed we did.
We have something ninety-nine percent of fathers and sons out there will never know,---and knowing what we know, I'd do it again, even now! I have a greater respect for Gunn now than I ever did, and my love for him is great. I know you really love him too, don't you, Son?"
"More now, than ever, Master, but do me a favor?"
"Anything!"
"Don't ever stop calling me `Son.'"
"Feels good, don't it, Boy?"
"Sure does, Master, all the way to my soul good." We kissed. Not the polite, noninvasive kiss of a father and son but the kiss of a Master and his cowboy. It made me think---it's the way all fathers and sons should kiss. The world would be a whole lot better.
Buck never asked me about Booger and I didn't volunteer anything. Buck was a cowboy. If someone wanted to tell you their past, they would. If not, don't ask. I'd been raised by the same code.
I spent the last night in Buck's arms. We had fucked and sucked our way into each others hearts. I was falling deeply in love with the big man. I would have done anything for him, and he felt the same about me.
"Cowboy, you got one hell of a family. They all worship the ground you walk on. Every damn one of `em including Lester would lay down their lives for you. Your aunt's beam when you show them the slightest attention, and you have a way of pouring it on. That Uncle Bud of your's is enough to make anyone wet his pants over. Male or female. What a man, holy shit! White wasn't joking." we laughed.
"I use to watch you and him in the arena on horseback practicing and pop a boner every damn time. Honest to God, I couldn't decide who I wanted more, him or you. So I stopped trying to choose and decided I wanted you both. I had such dirty fantasies about the two of you with me, I wouldn't even tell you about them! I'd get a wet spot in my jeans, go back to our motor coach, dad would take one look, smile at me knowingly, and ask, "Been watching the Cummings' practice, Son?" I think he knew. I wanted to tell him before I went to Nam, but I couldn't. I love him so damn much if he turned away from me I'd shoot myself.
I'll be honest with you, Cowboy, I always wanted a relationship with my dad like you had with your father, Uncle Bud. I'd a' sucked my old man's dick in a New York minute if he'd a' let me. I use to jack off thinking about having sex with him. Use to get hard just walking behind him watching the way he walked in them big boots of his. Sweet Jesus, what a man! I couldn't go naked around him for fear I'd get a hard-on looking at him and he'd know his son was a pervert. I know why I turned out to like men.
When it came time for hormones to kick in, and make you want to like girls, I couldn't give up the love and physical attraction I had for my dad. I thought if I started liking girls I would be betraying my love for my dad. He wanted me to be a cowboy and I worked hard at being that for him. It got easier then, not to be interested in girls, `cause cowboys have the reputation of being loners. I would have been anything that man wanted me to be." Buck kinda stunned me.
"Glad you saved it for me, Buck. You ain't no damn pervert neither `cause I feel the same way about my old man and I sure as hell ain't no pervert. But, I ain't never felt nothing like I feel for you, Buck, with anybody, not even my uncle. I'm a' hopin' you don't get upset and run screaming out the door but I gotta' tell you, Cowboy, I've fallen in love with you." Buck looked at me like he was upset.
"Upset? Me upset? I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I'll go you one better, I don't want to live my life without you, Cowboy and here you are tellin' me you're in love with me. Upset? I don't think so, Darlin.' Those be' the sweetest three words my old cowboy ears have heard since, Attention! K-Mart Shoppers!' he got me laughing then he started laughing. Buck had a down home sense of humor.
We silently made love together for a while, and laughed at the symphony of old bed springs in the next room. Twissleman was getting his pound of White's flesh. Buck and I could just imagine White riding that big bull of a man, one hand thrown back in the air, the other around a rope they tied to Twissleman's ass, spurring that big man on for the best eight second ride of his life. Then we heard this loud-KER-WHUMP-sound. It sounded like they fell off the damn bed which sent me and Buck into gales of laughter and caused a knock on the wall.
Then it was our turn to serenade them. My bed was worse than their's, and sounded like four midgets jumping up and down on four harpsichords at once; a terrible racket. Buck took me hard and settled in for a good, long, loving, cowboy fuck'n. He was a young stallion that had developed a tasted for butt fucking. He was working hard to perfect his style and technique. Didn't really have much to perfect. He was a natural, and climbed inside my ass like it was his old, comfortable, well worn saddle that he was getting ready to ride. As we settled into our second hour of fucking, we heard groans from the next bedroom like, "Oh God, won't they ever stop?"
I worked as hard to please him as he did to fuck me, and together we made a perfect team. He wouldn't come until he knew he had me climbing up the hill, and started trying to bite his dick off in my ass. Then he'd unload his hot cowboy come deep in my well ploughed Earth. His body would shake all over as he shot wave after wave of his seed into me.
The finish sounded like midgets were jumping off the damn roof onto the harpsichords with sledge hammers at a KISS concert. It was indeed a dramatic climax to a long, enduring, wonderful fuck. It out did the damn1812 even with the fuckin' cannons.
We lay together, exhausted, him still inside me, enjoying the glow, making soft loving sounds to each other. Then came the applause. Not only from the next room but from all over the damn house. Then the gales of laughter from Lester, Dad, Uncle Joe and of course White and Twissleman. We just laughed, we didn't give a shit, fuck `em, we were in love. Buck had just fucked the holy b'Jesus out of me, and I'd sucked him off twice. Damn, he had a nice, big, fat dick, and really knew how to use it. He and I bonded that week. So did Twissleman and White. They fell all the more in love with each other. You couldn't of pried them apart with a wrecking bar.
We said our tear filled goodbyes the next morning, and boarded the bus for Ft. Ord. We slept almost all the way there. We were exhausted. We'd gone day in and day out for a week. We tried to cram as much living and loving into one week as we could. Buck and I had a lot of time to talk intimately about the future on the way back to Ft. Ord. We were going to spend our lives together. We had talked to Twissleman and White, and we were gonna' rodeo until we got too old, then buy adjacent ranches and settle down. Maybe open a rodeo school for young kids. The four of us carried that dream all the way through Nam.
We arrived back at boot camp in plenty of time to check in and receive our orders. We shipped out within two days, and were on our way to Nam. We didn't care, we had love, nothing could touch the four of us. After we got there, almost our entire company was assigned to the same platoon. We weren't broken in gently. Hell, they had us on patrol the first week we were there.
The four of us stuck close together. Buck and I fell more in love and so did White and Twissleman. When we were `in country' on bivouac, White and Twissleman would crawl in their tent and make out while Buck and I sat out front keeping watch. Then they would switch off for Buck and I. It was the only way we could have stayed sane through the whole senseless thing.
Everyone in the platoon knew what was going on, but when you're in a combat situation the rules of the normal' world get thrown out the window and what was unacceptable there became accepted and overlooked. Hell, over half the platoon had paired off and were doing the same damn thing. When you live that close together and lives depend on each other it's hard to keep any secrets. We never tried but we didn't flaunt it either. We were just the cowboys.'
We were coming upon our last three months. Almost short timers. We had lost our platoon leader and had a hot shot new Louie for a leader. He was out to make a name for himself and started requiring us to do a lot of fool hardy, stupid things that endangered the lives of all of us.
Our old leader got us this far and, we only lost one man. He was loved by the whole platoon, he took care of us, and we took care of him. He was a no nonsense kind of leader. If he thought there was the least chance we were walking into a trap, or there was a safer way for his men to get a job done, he ordered it done that way.
He listened to his men. He especially listened to the cowboys. We had developed a sixth sense as to where Charlie was hiding and the signs of when he was around. The four of us compared notes constantly and were pretty damn sharp.
The new hot shot Louie didn't want our input. Some of the other men got frustrated at his hard headedness and told him he better listen to the cowboys `cause they've never been wrong. We tried and after four or five times getting put down, told to shut up, he knew better, we just decided to keep our mouths shut. We'd take care of ourselves.
It was a hot day. Fucking Nam hot. I've never experienced a more suffering heat anywhere in my life. White, Twissleman, Buck and I were walking point across this open field. It was a dry patty where months before there'd been ankle deep water. The rice crop had been burned out. It was scorched earth with little mounds of dried rice grass and dirt. We saw all the signs of Charlie being dug in and tried to tell the asshole that we were walking right into a possible trap.
We were told to stop being cowards and get our lazy, yellow ass's out there on point. Something in me snapped and I was going for the son of a bitch. Buck grabbed me and held me until I settled down. I thought Buck was gonna' hit me. He didn't. He never would.
"Cowboy, let it go! We ain't got that long to go. We'll be home, on the circuit again. Just you, me, Twissleman and White. Let it go, Dearheart." I let it go.
We started out across this huge field. About half way across the VC had dug in, and popped up out of hidden holes to spray us with fire. We were ambushed as the four of us feared. I took a hit to my shoulder. My leg was shot out from under me, and I lost my balance. Buck heard the shots hit me, turned to see me falling, and moved to catch me. As he turned, I saw him get hit right through the chest, and we fell together. White and Twissleman headed for us. Both were shot as they were trying to lunge for us. I fell underneath the three big men.
I was laying face down under their three bodies. My buddies lay dying on top of me. I heard White tell Twissleman he loved him. Twissleman put his big arm around him, pulled him to his chest, kissed him one last time, and comforted him as they lay dying in each others arms. I felt Buck's two days growth of beard as he kissed me behind the ear and whispered softly, "On down the road, Cowboy---I love you so much, Billy---" and he was gone.
I passed out as a tear rolled down my cheek. I knew they were mortally wounded, and I probably was too. If I didn't die now, I knew Charlie would come pick over the dead, find me still partially alive and finish me. I felt the life force leaving my body the more blood I lost. My life was over. I didn't want to live anymore. Somehow, I just didn't care. I saw Buck get it right though the heart.
My face was turned to the side and I could see these little things jumping on the ground close to me. At first, I thought they were insects, and then,---I saw and understood. Oh! God in heaven! Sweet Jesus, Mother of Christ! Help me! Oh, oh, God! No man should have to see this. Take me now, God! Let me die! It was bits and pieces of Buck's heart that hadn't figured out, they weren't in his body anymore and still trying to do their function of supplying blood to his body.
Ken and Rowley left their bodies. I felt them go. I really didn't want to live and thought it was probably best I was dying. I didn't want to live my life without Buck anyway. So, it probably was for the best. Dying wasn't as bad as I'd imagined it might be. It hurt for a while, but the pain was going away the more blood I lost. I was drifting in and out of consciousness. The beautiful man I had come to trust and love lay on top of me with his life force leaving his body. As he breathed his last his big body suddenly became lighter.
I passed out. I don't know how long I lay there. I don't know if Charlie came to check the dead or what. When I came to and dared open my eyes, I couldn't see anything. I had lost so much blood I couldn't move. I had three men on top of me protecting me but holding me down. I thought I heard choppers in the distance. I was sure they were coming closer They came closer and closer. Then I heard English. Our guys yelling and cursing.
The damndest thought cross my mind, "Don't fuck this up, Billy, go on, you've got to die before they get here to save you. You wanna' be with Buck or not?" I asked myself. Thank God, I'm about to pass out. This is it, Kid! Here you go. You're dying---' Everything went black. I `d passed out knowing this was it, I was really going this time, I was dying.
I rose up out of my body and could see the medics moving swiftly from man to man. My first thought was, `Oh good! I died. I'm dead. Well,---it ain't so bad.'
I could see the choppers setting on the ground. I could feel the backwash from their blades. White, Twissleman and Buck were standing next to me. I looked at our bodies laying there then looked back at Buck. He smiled at me, put his big arms around me and pulled me to him. I could feel and smell him as I cried in his arms. He gently kissed me, and looked me in the eyes as he held me.
"Listen to me, Cowboy! Twissleman, White and I are dead. You're not. You have to go back. You still have things to do in life. God has some things he needs you to do. There's folks that need you. My dad needs you. Some guy named Booger needs you. Your dad needs you and there's a big bear, an animal of a man that will need you. You have to go back, Cowboy."
"Hell, Buck, I wouldn't be here if I weren't dead, too. I don't want to go back without you guys. I don't want to live here anymore. It's an awful place, look at all this blood. Look at our bodies laying there, you want me to go back to that? How could I go back without you, Buck? I love you, you have my heart. My soul is in your back pocket. I don't think I could live without you, Buck. I don't want to try. I never thought I could love another man as much as I loved my uncle but I do Buck, I do. What would I ever tell your dad? I promised him I'd take care of you. Don't make me go back, Buck, take me with you, please."
"You know I'd never deny you anything, Cowboy, but I don't have any choice in this. It isn't my call. See that medic there, the big Indian. He knows you're here, your uncle died of a heart attack last night, and went to him in his sleep. He told him to look for you today. He's about to call out your name. Move something so he can get to you. He'll save you. And Billy, tell my dad I loved him."
"Mine, too, Cowboy." said Rowley.
"Yeah, my mom and dad, Billy." spoke Ken.
Suddenly, Uncle Bud was there with the four of us. He held me, and kissed me too. I cried in his arms. I lost him. I lost Buck. I lost Twissleman. I lost White. A huge chunk of my world lay on top of me.
"Go back, Son, you have to live. It's not your time. God's not through with you yet. You have to live for your dad, Buck's dad, old Booger and some big, hairy, beast of a man that's a close friend of God's you don't know yet. We love you, we always will love you. We'll be with you when you need us, all you have to do is call us and we'll come to you. We'll be there. But now, we have to go. The rest are waiting for me to take them home. Be strong, Son, it's not your turn yet, but we'll be waiting for you. I left a letter with your Aunt Laura for you when you get home. Be sure and ask her for it." He let me go, and I heard someone calling my name. My beloved uncle lifted his hand, and turned to the other three.
"You men ready? We need to go. Come Buck, Rowley, Ken,---take my hand." Buck took Uncle Bud's hand, Rowley took Buck's, and White took Rowley's. They followed Uncle Bud and were gone.
I was alone and horrified as I felt myself being pulled back into my pain racked body. I heard a voice as if in the distance. A voice I knew,---someone I loved.
"Billy! Billy Gunn! GUNN! BILLY GUNN! COWBOY, WHERE ARE YOU! I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, DAMN IT! YOUR NOT DEAD! I CAN FEEL YOU, BILLY! RAISE A FOOT; A HAND; MOVE SOMETHING, COWBOY! The voice sounded frantic in it's urgency to find me. The voice was getting closer. I managed to raise my right boot an inch or two and one of the corpsmen saw me.
"Over here, Chief! He's over here!" The two men gently checked out Buck, Twissleman and White as they moved them off of me. I opened my eyes in Jim Redfeather's big arms, and saw the tears in his eyes. He wiped the dirt from my face and hugged me to him gently. He rocked me back and forth in his arms crying his heart out.
"Oh God, Billy, your Uncle Bud, your dad, came to me last night in a dream. You're safe now. I'll get you home, I promise, Cowboy. I promise." I passed out again, and didn't come to until I was in the hospital with Jim by my side. He had tears in his eyes as he was holding my hand, rubbing it in his big rough hands.
"Cowboy, you're awake. Thank the Great Spirit! Don't try to talk. You're real week. We pumped a lot of blood into you. The doctors saved your leg, and your shoulder's patched. You're gonna' make it, my old friend.
"You're going to Hawaii for recovery and then home. You're out of this hell hole." He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
"Buck, Rowley and Ken White---?" I could barely whisper, knowing what I was going to hear, but I had to ask. He just shook his head as a tear ran down his cheek. I told him I saw my Uncle Bud come for Buck, Rowley and Ken. Was he really dead too?
"Your Uncle Bud's spirit came to me two nights ago in a dream. He died that very night in his sleep of a massive heart attack. He wouldn't go with the folks that came to take him across until he could come to me and alert me. God, Billy! That man really loved you. I could feel his love for you in my dream. He told me you would be one of the wounded in that battle yesterday. That you would be hanging on to life by a thread. For me to call out to you, to find you as quickly as I could. The other guys thought I was crazy when I told them. I didn't care, I knew you'd be there, and kept calling your name.
I had the last laugh when one of them read your dog tags. He looked at me an asked, how I knew. I told him he wouldn't understand. Your uncle told me that he was your real father, and you and him never found out until just before you came over here." I nodded yes.
"Rest, my beautiful friend. You're safe now. I still remember the beautiful young man I shared love with one wonderful summer. I still love him today." Jim was a good, loving man, but he had changed. He was no longer the young man that I loved all those summers ago. He was older, mature, filled out, with a sad look on his face like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He spent as much time with me as he could until I was shipped out to a hospital in Hawaii. Even though my heart was aching, it was wonderful to be with him again, even if it was only for a while. He was special to me. There's still love in my heart for Jim Redfeather. He will always be my hero.
The stupid Lieutenant that insisted we do it his way lost almost all his men that day and got assigned another platoon. Word got around quick in Nam. He was still continuing his hard nose, military man persona. My buddies deaths meant nothing to him, nor had he learned anything. We were well known in Nam. Certain people, ordinary people really, that had some talent, or got good at something stood out in Nam. Everyone soon knew who they were and their nick-name. Everyone had heard of `the cowboys,' and we were well liked. We were good at what we did, sniffing out Charlie, and probably saved a lot of lives.
Buck was the only man in three platoons to carry a bible in his pack. He read it aloud for an hour every Sunday when we were in county. Sometimes there was a hundred and fifty men crowded around the cowboy's tent to listen to Buck read. I would look out, and see many openly weeping as Buck read. They all knew who the bible reading cowboy' was! He was one of the four cowboys.' He was loved my all. Nobody said anything bad about Buck. The other men wouldn't let them. Many were convinced he was being watched over by a higher power. I had no doubt. Neither did Twissleman and White.
The Lieutenant's next platoon were seasoned vets that had fought along side us many times, and knew the cowboys' well. They knew what we were capable of. A couple of our men walked away from that blood bath, and were put in their platoon. They told the other vets about the cowboys warning the son of a bitch that all the signs were there, and we were walking into a trap. Several confronted him. Asked him if he knew he was responsible for the death of all those men and three of the cowboys. The hot shot Louie got indignant pulled one of his stupid little tantrums on his new platoon, insisting that he was going to shape the lot of em up just like he'd done for the last lazy ass platoon that didn't follow his orders and got themselves slaughtered.
The next night, after a patrol, a grenade rolled into his tent. Fragged! No more ambitious Lieutenant. The Army investigated every detail and found nothing. No one saw a thing. Can't say's I shed a tear. They even came to the hospital and talked to me. They wanted to know about `the cowboys.' I pretended to be too weak to talk to them. I didn't want to tell them sons of bitches nothing.
I stayed at the hospital in Hawaii until I was discharged, and recovered enough to fly home. I got letters from home, and even got a couple from Chief. I didn't answer any. I got a letter from Dan Yates, Buck's dad. It was a loving, pain filled letter that took me several attempts to finish. I could feel his love for me coming through, and the pain of his loss between the lines.
Mr. Yates wanted me to know he loved me, and wanted to see me after I got home. I started ten or fifteen letters to him, and couldn't get past the first page. I would break down, and the ink would run. I'd get frustrated, and tear the damn thing up in anger. I Finally managed to get several lines off to him.
Dear Mr. Yates,
Started fifteen letters to you. Can't write or talk about it yet. My tears make the ink run and I end up tearing them up. Buck loved you. I love you. Will come see you after I get home. I'm so sorry I failed you and Buck, Mr. Yates. He saved my life. But, what is my life without him?
Billy
I was raging against the pain. I was so angry with God and man I couldn't think of anything but my loss. Four beloved people wiped out, gone, erased. In the past, I'd prayed but I wasn't real sure God heard me. I never asked for much because I had everything I needed. I was a fair to middling cowboy-I was loved. Why bother God or ask Him for anything else if your happy? Buck, of all people, taught me the importance of prayer. Buck approached faith like he did everything else in life with a down home sensibility. No frills, no metaphysics, no hocus-pocus, no dog and pony show, just earthy common sense faith. He told me he'd picked up his need for faith and ideas from being around a lot of Christian cowboys.
There was no frenetic, right wing, fundamentalist intrusion into your faith. No thumping the bible with hypocritical, self serving, dogma. It was simple, blameless, accepting, nonjudgmental and based on trying to be the best you could and help folks that needed it when you could. Buck made no attempt to convert, proselytize, nor force his faith on anyone. He'd talk about it when we asked but never preached. To him it was very simple.
So it became for the three of us and for many others that came to know Buck. I'm convince Buck was a man of God. He didn't start out that way but came to his unwavering belief in the simplest, almost childlike, way. If it's true what the scriptures say, `You must become as a child to enter the kingdom,'---Buck made it! Later I came to believe that God looked upon Buck and came to love him so much he wanted him with him. I don't blame the Old Man anymore, I know how he felt. Buck Yates was a special man. He was my bonded brother. I loved him.
End Part 3~ Booger Red & Cowboy Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf Mail to: waddiebear@yahoo.com