Before we get started:
If you're not 18 yet you shouldn't be here. This story is fiction, any similarity to real people or events is purely the result of my lack of imagination. Please consider giving money and/or stories to the Nifty Archive. All authors love feedback.
Not much sex in the first chapters, this is more humor than erotica, but can't think of any place better than Nifty to submit it.
Enjoy.
Part 2: Dramatis Personae
Every bar has a set of regulars, here's some of our more colorful characters:
"Boris" aka "Papa Bear" the most regular of the bunch. Fuck, some weeks it feels like I put 175 hours into this place. I've spent my entire professional life in horse bru... er hospitality. It wasn't always going to be this way, in high school I was convinced that I was going to be an actuary. Getting kicked out of the house kinda put a kibosh on that. I've taken a few business courses through the local community college, just enough so I don't get ripped off.
I'm 57 years old, second generation Ukrainian. I'm fluent in Ukrainian, Russian and English. Precise flat top, beard, glasses, gut. 4 piercings but no tattoos, I'm too hairy. My nipples are wired directly to my cock, well more to my prostate. Treat them right and I'll cum without any other help. Average sized uncut cock with a nice mushroom head on it, and a set of grandpa balls that I'm rather proud of.
"Art" and "Bud"; Pitcher of Killians, BBQ chips for Art, popcorn for Bud; Former owners/editors of Pittsburgh Press, the city's "Legal newspaper." Many actions by lawyers require public notice, such as foreclosure. Publishing in their paper fulfills the requirement, even though only lawyers read it. They were bought out in 2006 by a company that specialized in sub-prime mortgages. Together for 30 years and still madly in love with each other. They spend their time breeding schnauzers and making rosaries.
They are both body modification enthusiasts. Art has 15 piercings and 1 tattoo that goes from his collar to his wrists and ankles. Bud has... other modifications. They make it their business to know every tattooist and piercer in the county. Impressing them is the best way to get more business than you can handle. For those looking for more intense changes they will point you to
"Doc" Vodka Gibson, 2 sprays; urologist. He has pre-printed prescription pads for Cialis and Androgel, and will gladly educate anyone about the wide variety of conditions, and insurance codes, that they can treat. The man is nuts about nuts, tap, squeeze, stretch, shock. Big into sounds, or to be more accurate big sounds are into him. Also a circumsexual which lead to a rather heated exchange recently with
"Padre" Red wine and pretzels; intactivist and all around activist. Less a social justice warrior and more a social justice cleric. Ordained minister of the Metropolitan Community Church. Extremely active in the community. Has more love in his heart than a golden retriever. Has a soft spot for those suffering from post-traumatic church syndrome, those who were abused by priests, or wish they had been. Owns an impressive collection of paddles, floggers, canes and single tail whips. Operatic tenor, who is the main karaoke rival of
"Mudpuppy" Black and ginger ale, or a shot of Blue with 1cc of water when he's feeling his oats. Has a rather famous last name. His official occupation is working at the family's foundation. A truly demanding position that requires 40 hours a quarter out of him. Nice work if you can get it. Enjoys the autumn colors, yellow, red, brown. A dog a heart, but very intense in his kinks, not good for beginners. However eventually I'll introduce him to
"The Kid" He'll drink milk and like it. Currently working part time at Starbucks, graduates high school in June. Planning to go to University of Pittsburgh to get a BFA. Practically ran to the pinball machine when he first saw it. Still trying to come to terms with the fact that he gets turned on by things that "normal people" just don't do. Called his school's gay straight alliance "A bunch of bitchy queens." Is interested in pup play. Has seen way to much porn and doesn't really understand how messy/complicated/dangerous some of the things he wants to do are.
Part 3: I Know That Voice.
Thursday, mid afternoon. Mostly quiet in the bar, gave me a chance to do some paperwork and have a spirited discussion with my supplier. He couldn't believe that I was ordering another bottle of Unicum so soon after the first one.
"Dayumn Boris, those bottles usually last years."
"I know Steven, but the other night some bug bit the bar and EVERYONE had to have a shot of it. Some of em actually liked it, terrifying I know."
I had been there about 90 minutes or so when The Kid walked in the door.
"You're here early." I said
"Yeah, we had a half day today, and no school tomorrow. Teacher sensitivity training, or security training, or toilet training, or some bullshit like that, but at least I get a day off." He said, settling onto a bar stool. "Long Island Ice Tea please, Papa Bear" said with a goofy grin, and puppy dog eyes.
"Suuuure, I'll get RIGHT on that. So how has life been treating you?"
"It's been ruff. I learned first hand the difference between pup and K9."
"That must have been a most unwelcome shock. Was it a pair of dobermans?"
"No, a St. Bernard bitch." The kid sighed.
"Well it definitely wasn't JT then. I'll have to let him know there's another dog lover in town."
"I don't think I'll ever use Craigslist again."
"That's probably a good thing, for a variety of reasons. Here's your drink."
The kid takes a sip, "Baroo?"
"Oh you know I've got a shitty sense of direction and I appear to have ended up in Arizona. You know better than to order booze from me, now be a good boy and drink your tea."
He gives out the most pathetic whine.
"You know I was going to save this for later, but since life has been hard on you recently here you go." From under the bar I pull out a small dog bowl and pour his drink into it. That brought back his goofy grin. "Have you thought of a pup name yet? So I can put it on the side of the bowl."
"I'm still working on it. One of my online friends suggested Pup Cafe since I work at Starbucks, but that just doesn't feel right you know?"
"No, that sounds more like a web comic than a curious leather pup. It will come to you." The Kid drank in comfortable silence, as I tried to work out how we would accommodate some of the requests for Mudpuppy's upcoming demonstration. The only noticeable sound was the dings and buzz of the pinball table, right up until it served up a house ball, and the player let loose with a blue streak that made The Kid's ears perk up.
"Is that, is that who I think it is?" The Kid asked.
"No, it's Mary Queen of Scots."
The Kid leans back to get a better look at him. "Holy cow, it is him. What's he doing here?"
"He's playing pinball-" "You stupid fucking machine." "poorly."
Kid shoots me the stink eye. "I'm going to talk to him."
"Kid, SIT! Stay. Good boy." There's that whimper. "You are not going to talk to him. Because if you do that right now, you are going to go all frothing fan boy on him. He's probably not in the mood for that. First this isn't Comic Con. Second you asked why he was here. Well you know he grew up near here?" Kid nods "Well he's in town for a funeral. He came here to unwind, not be fawned over."
Kid lets loose with a big sigh, and pulls out his phone. "Kid, if I see that thing flash it's taking a bath. Another reason why he's here is because we are paragons of tact and discretion. If his visit here today ends up on the Internet he'll never be back, and that's bad for business. However if you look with just your eyes and not your camera, well he may just tell his friends about this place. If you want to show your appreciation, buy the man a drink."
The drink was bought, and accepted. A nod of acknowledgment pasted between them. Mr. Celebrity looked at his watch and downed the drink quickly. He then came up to the bar and talked to the kid, "Hey cutie. I lost track of time and have to run to catch my flight, but I wanted to thank you for the drink."
"Your welco-" as he was drawn into a deep wet kiss with one hand on the back of Kid's head and the other groping his crotch. Soon Kid was moaning and shuddering in delight.
Taking a look at the wet patch forming in The Kid's jeans "Well it's been a while since I was able to do that to someone." He noticed the dog bowl, and gave Kid an extra scritch. "You be a good boy, and hopefully we can play more next time I'm around."
There's that goofy grin again.