"Mark, do we have time for me to call Jamie?" Jack called out to Mark from the bathroom. They were going to a concert with Abigail, to hear her sister, who was apparently a big deal in the classical music world. "I want to introduce you to him, if you could just be here" " "Oh, sure. You keep us on such a good schedule, we got plenty of time. " He came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around Jack "You good with being shaved, stud?" Jack smiled. "Feels funny. I don't know if I'll do it again. But if I do, you're the barber."
He changed out of his t shirt into a tighter one, sat down at the computer, and connected with Jamie through face time. "Is that the mysterious, hard to reach Jack Robson I see? " Jamie's face was on the screen, smiling. ''
" JAMIE. I'M so glad you're there. HOW ARE YOU MY BLUSHING BRIDE?" Jamie laughed. "A little red, but not blushing. Remember how I liked getting spanked?" "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, I do. " "Well..."
"OH Jamie. STOP. I better tell you, someone's here with me."
"WHO? That big hunk who stole you from me?" Jack felt two strong hands on his shoulders, massaging them. "HI Jamie. I'm Mark. I'm so glad to meet you. " Mark's hands made Jack feel secure. Safe. He hadn't felt that in a while. He wished he'd kept them there forever.
Jamie pretended Mark wasn't there "OH Jack man. You lucked OUT. What a sexy guy. Geez, you must feel like, oh, I don't know, you're in bed with some magical spirit." Mark began to laugh. "Sometimes, I think I'm in bed with the DEVIL, and that's ok." The three of them were laughing, when Jack said "Now Jamie, I have a surprise for you. Don't pee yourself." Jack put his hand with the engagement ring in front of the screen. Jamie's mouth dropped.
"OH. MY. GOD. YOU GUYS????" Mark was shaking his head while Jack just answered "Uh huh." He felt Mark's hands massage him, very gently. It felt better than sex, and sex felt pretty damn good. He didn't feel aroused, but he didn't know WHAT he felt. "FUCK. You're a copycat, but congratulations! I am so happy for you. " He paused. "I PRESUME there's gonna be a wedding, and I PRESUME I'm invited with Brent." Jack was smiling and tearing up at the same time. "Jamie, it wouldn't be a wedding without you," Mark added. "I've heard so much about you, and to be honest, I've already been told that I get the silver medal, because you're the gold standard." Mark took his hands off of Hack's shoulders and put them around his upper chest. "Jamie, turnabout is fair play: will you be MY best man?" Jamie made a face "Uh, was that REALLY a question? You just send me the wedding colors, and I AM THERE. And Mark... I"m not just giving him away. In fact, I'm gonna tell you something that I'm sure other people have said. " Mark said it in unison with Jamie "If you hurt him, I'll kill you." Jamie paused "I mean it Mark. DON'T cross a former ho." Mark smiled. "Hmmm. Now THERE's a story I haven't heard yet. Jamie made Jack blush by saying "when I get there, I'll tell you what you have to do to get ANY story you want out of Jack. " Jack blushed "Uh, I think he figured them out already." "OH. He knows about the secret grip?" "JAMIE. DO NOT TELL HIM THAT." Mark stood back , letting the two friends catch up, somewhat jealous of their bond. Did he have anyone in his life like Jamie? No, Jon wasn't it. He couldn't think of one.
"Hey Jamie, let me ask you a question. Take a look. Should I get my hair cut really short?" Jamie didn't have to think. ABSOLUTELY NOT JACK. First, it'll make you look like you're 12. Second, you've got such GORGEOUS hair. Mark, help me here. "NO. Don't cut your hair stud. If you cut your hair, there go my Samson fantasies." Jamie began to laugh. "Samson?" asked Jack "Who's Samson?" "Abigail will tell you at the concert tonight."
"OH. Ritzy. Concerts. EXCUSE ME. And seriously Jack, excuse me. I'm in the middle of making something for dinner, and it's gonna burn, so I'm gonna go. Mark... " Jamie winked out of the screen "speaking of burning, you better make my big brother hot tonight. Kisses to all. And congratulations you two. I want the first male child." And then he was gone.
Mark hugged Jack . "He is QUITE the character." "I know. He was much more reserved when he was younger. I think when he got his confidence, he blossomed. " Mark held Jack tighter. "Sounds like someone I know, somewhat intimately. "
When Jack had asked about how to dress for the concert, Abigail had said "casual like you mean it" . So they were going to get dressed, meet up with Abigail, and then the four of them, have a late dinner. With Mark's help, Jack had been augmenting his wardrobe, and he pulled out a blue blazer, some sharp grey flannel pants, and a blue and white checked shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes. Jack had convinced Mark that all black, all the time, was not cool, so while Mark stuck with his black jeans and jacket, he had on a maroon shirt, with a blue leather tie. "I have other ideas for that Sir," said Jack. "Maybe I do too," Mark shot back. "Now kiss me. A REAL kiss. We'll continue later. " Smiling, Jack came over to take Mark's tongue. When they were finished, Mark smiled "We HAVE to stop, or we're going to be late."
They met up with Abigail right outside the theatre. She was in a blue silk dress, and she was wearing heels. According to Abigail "I probably wear heels less than Jack does, so this is serious.". Jack came over to kiss her. "I missed you sweetie." "I missed you too. " She looked him over. You look GREAT. Are you excited?" "Yeah, I am. I've never been to a concert before." "You mean a classic concert?" "No, any concert." Abigail looked shocked, and Mark smiled. "Jack has not been exposed to the arts. He's worked his ass off - well maybe not quite, but he's spent all his time working. " "Oh, Jack," Abigail responded. "I hope this doesn't disappoint you. And I know you're going to love my sister. Gloria is MUCH nicer than I am. Mark smiled "And musicians are nastier than actors." The two of them laughed, and Jack laughed along with them, even though he really didn't understand the joke.
In the theater, Jack sat in the middle, between Mark on the outside, and Abigail on the inside. There was an empty seat next to Abigail. She rubbed Jack's arm "OOOOH. Every woman in the theater is jealous of me." Mark added "And every man is jealous of me." "So am I" Abigail retorted. Mark took Jack's hand. "I really think you're going to like the program. Gloria is very excited about it. Just as they were getting settled, Jack heard a familiar voice. "Hi everyone! Sorry I'm late, but I wouldn't miss this concert for the world. Thank you for inviting me." Jack got up. "Mrs. Maloney, I didn't know you were coming," and she smiled. "Well, one of my favorite people is makiing his debut tonight, I HAD to be here." He looked puzzled and she smiled. "Jack, YOUR FIRST CONCERT. I couldn't miss it."
They each had programs. Mark, Laurie and Abigail looked at theirs, but not Jack. He knew he wouldn't recognize the songs being performed, and he didn't. He heard Mrs. Maloney whisper to Abigail "do you think this is the best choice for a first time?" Abigail whispered back "I honestly don't know this music ." Gloria came out,in the middle of the first half. Jak turned to Abigail "That's your sister, isn't she? She's BEAUTIFUL" Abigail smiled. I am SO proud of her. " Gloria was wearing a red gown, very fluffy and very feminine. "She's going to sing a song about a rose. The spirit of a rose. He's singing to the young girl who wore him to her first dance. He's died now, so his spirit is singing." Jack leaned forward to hear the singer. He didn't understand the French, but the music was so beautiful. He got lost in the song. He knew Mark was holding his hand, but that's all he knew.
At intermission, Mark bought them each a glass of champagne. He smiled at his lover. "What did you think, Jack? " "Well, it was swell, but Abigail, I liked Gloria the best." Mark interjected. "We know Jack can't lie. He just can't. He means it. "I do Abigail. That song. I kept on wishing I knew French so I could follow. But I felt it. I felt that rose and how much it loved that girl. " Mark squeezed his hand. "You're a softie. A big, BIG softie." Jack drank his champagne. He wasn't really fond of it, but there wasn't any beer. It seemed that it was the thing to drink here, though. Everyone seemed to have a glass of it. Mrs. Maloney smiled. "Let's talk about this song soon, Jack. You know, I've heard it before, but I never thought of this: you're really very much like that rose."
Gloria was the last performer on the second half of the program. "She's doing the Wagner," Abigail told Mark. "Brave girl." So, she was singing something difficult. He'd try to pay attention.
Gloria came out for her song, in a different gown. This one was medium green. Mark squeezed his hand. "You ok" "Oh, yeah. It's fun. I wish I knew more, but it's fun."
The audience got very quiet. Gloria began by sitting down, and the orchestra began.
The first chord cut through Jack like an ice pick. He knew this music! He had put a knife through his hand once, many years ago, and the music felt like that, going all the way through him. And he continued to feel that way, as the music went on. It felt like whoever wrote it had done it to get right to his core. He didn't know why, but he pulled his hand away from Mark, and folded his arms around himself like he was cold. Because he was. He whispered "Mark, my mother used to sing this to me!"
Gloria began. The only words he could make out sounded like German: "mild und leise". As she went on, he began to feel very sad, and very, very overwhelmed. He remembered reading this story with his mother. She was singing a song about a woman who knew she was going to die. She was dying so she could be with her lover. Mrs. Maloney probably knew that, but Jack and Abigail? He didn't think so. . And he was getting overwhelmed. At some point, he began to cry. He knew enough not to make noise in a theater, but the tears were rolling down his face. Abigail saw it, and so did Mark. Mark tried to take his hand, but Jack was having none of it.
He began to feel the music even more deeply. He wanted to leave, but he also wanted to stay. He thought of Mark, and of Jamie, and of Carla. All the people he worked for in the past, and the people he worked with now. What if he were gone? Would he still be with them? Would they forget him? Would he know? Would he care? And he worked harder, and harder to hold down the sobs. He began to shake.
Mark leaned over "Jack, let's leave?" He shook his head. "I'm not leaving. SHHHH"
The piece went on for about 8 minutes, and when Gloria stopped, the music kept on for just a little bit. As soon as it stopped, Jack was on his feet. He wasn't the only one, but he was first. And he kept cheering longer than anyone. "Jack are you ok?" Abigail asked "I don't know love. I don't know. But I'm SO glad I came. " He turned to Mark. "Hold my hand now. PLEASE. And don't let go. Don't let go EVER." Laurie Maloney saw it "Jack, the Wagner affected you." He turned to her "Mrs Maloney, I can't explan it, but it's ... it's my childhood."
Mark looked at Abigail. "we're going to go home. . we'll" "WE ARE NOT GOING HOME MARK. WE'RE MEETING GLORIA. I HAVE TO TALK TO HER. IT'S DONE. " Mark lowered his voice "ok. You're the boss tonight."
They waited outside for Gloria. Jack was NOT letting go of Mark's hand. It began to hurt, Jack was holding on so tightly. "Please don't go to the hotel tonight. Please come home with me tonight, Mark. PLEASE. "
"Sweetheart, I wasn't going to the hotel anyway. " "Thank you. Thank you." Abigail and Laurie had stepped away so they could have some privacy . "Jack, are you ok? " Mark asked. "I don't know. Yes, I am. But I'm not sure. That doesn't make sense. And if I keep talking I'm going to cry. So I'm not talking anymore. Not until I speak with Gloria. " Laurie Maloney turned to Abigail "Dear, I think we need to find out what this is about. Wagner DOES that to people, but I've never seen Jack so, well, distraught. "
"HEEEEEEY SIS. You've got two handsome men with you. They've GOT to be gay. " Abigail threw her arms around her sister. "Gloria! You were marvelous! This was Jack's first concert. EVER. " She turned to Jack. "Did you enjoy it Jack ?" He smiled weakly. "I did I loved it. Especially your last song. " "Oh, THANK YOU. " She turned to Abigail. "It was SO Hard. I'm not going to be able to sing for three days." "For us it was worth it, Gloria." She turned to Mark. "OMG HI. SO good to see you again. Are you and Jack..." "He smiled. "Yes, we are. " OH, CONGRATULATIONS. I'm jealous. And I'm hungry. Let's go eat." She saw Laurie Maloney "I know YOU. You're Rory Maloney's wife." She smiled "yes dear, I am. I think I remember you too. Workshop at the Met." "YES!!!!" Laurie smiled. "I was working as a rehearsal pianist when Rory was on tour. You were rehearsing, if I remember "Magic Flute." "YES YES. I WAS. Now I remember : you're the lady who told me "you'll sing Wagner one day. YOU KNEW BEFORE ANYONE DID." Jack heard that and said "Mrs Maloney usually knows things before the rest of us do. "
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The sisters walked ahead, laughing and giggling. Jack was holding on to Mark and Laurie Malone He wouldn't let go. "Jack, can you hold me a little less tightly? My hand is going to fall off." "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. HERE. Let me change to your other hand." Mark laughed to himself. Jack could fix anything. They went to a fancy diner, which actually had hamburgers. Mark smiled as he put his arm around Jack's shoulder. "that's what my sweetie's having. And a beer. " "No Mark, I want to drink whatever you and Abigail drink tonight. " Gloria was drinking herb tea. "Gloria, can I talk to you about that song?" "Well, I'M having a hamburger" Laurie said. "Jack, you and I have to form a hamburger lovers club. Once a week." Jack smiled. "You mean it?" "Completely Jack." "SIGN ME UP"
At their table, Jack turned to Gloria. "I'm wondering. I don't speak German, and I don't know classical music - it WAS German wasn't it?" "Oh yes, very old German." "Tell me if I got this right. That lady you were playing? She was running to her lover - he wasn't supposed to be her lover but he was . And he died waiting for her. And she didn't believe he was dead. And she was asking us "don't you see he's ok? And then she realized that he was gone, and well, she goes to some place in between life and death. And people think she's dead, but she's not. She's sort of in the air. She's trying to get to him and she can't. She wants to be a part of where he is. And we don't know if she'll get there. But she probably did. She melted into him"
Mark, Abigail, Laurie and Gloria were silent. Gloria spoke first. "You got all that from hearing the song for the first time?" "Well, yes and no. This was the first time I heard it in a concert. But my mom - she used to sing it at home. She and I used to sing it together."
Laurie looked at mark very closely. "Jack, did you ever sing with your mom" "Well, we didn't do duets, but she did teach me to sing some songs." Laurie mused. "Robson. That's a German name. Was your mom from Germany?" "I really don't know ma'am. I DID hear her speak something other than English once or twice, but we didn't talk about where she was from. " "Jack, let's have a music date at my apartment. I have that big old piano. I'd like to hear you sing. You're all invited of course."
"We're coming!" said Gloria. "I want to hear this handsome man sing. If his voice is half as pretty as he is... well, I may have to steal you." Jack shook his head "No, no. That lady wouldn't want that. No. Just, just... " He began to cry. "Please , promise me, all of you, you'll never leave me. EVER." Mark's voice was very small. "I think we can make that promise."
Abigail and Gloria were going downtown for the evening. Abigail hugged Mark , Laurie Malone and then Jack. She whispered to Jack. "I'm worried about you. Call me tomorrow." "I will Abby. I promise." Gloria came over. "I hope you come to every concert I ever give. Fans like you are the dream of a performer." Mark hailed a cab and got Laurie and Jack into it. "We'll talk to you tomorrow."
In the cab Mark asked him again "are you ok?" Jack didn't answer. He grabbed Mark's hand. "Don't let me go. " " Mark leaned over to kiss him. "I can do that." Laurie heard this intimate moment and turned "you better not, Mark, because if you do..." "I know Laurie I know . You'll kill me. That 's the third time I heard that today."
In the building, Ramon was working "Boss, are you ok?" Laurie answered him. "He'll be fine. Just a little too much music. Ramon smiled. "Mrs. Maloney continued "Sometimes we call it Wagner reflux". She kissed both boys before they got off the elevator. "Have your breakfast, get dressed, and call me. Call Abigail too. Gloria is welcome, but she'll need to recover. That Wagner..." She shook her head. "You shouldn't hear from her for three days."
In the elevator, Jack fell into Mark's arms, and he began to sob. "JACK, what happened in that theater tonight? " I've never seen you like this."
"Let's get in the apartment Mark. I'll tell you. Just, just.... " He paused. "I can't call you Sir tonight. I can't. I need you to be Mark, not Sir." "Jack, I'm always Mark. ALWAYS."
"I hadn't thought of my mom for years. FOR YEARS. And then, tonight. Between you holding my shoulders before we left, which felt SO good.
And talking to Jamie. And then Mrs. Maloney. Mark... it all came back. Mom, Dad, little Jackie. ALL of it. I felt like I was part of that river she melted into. With all of you."
In the apartment, Jack grabbed Mark and pulled him closer. "Kiss me. Please. Kiss me like you haven't seen me for weeks, and you want me to know you love me." Mark thought Jack wanted gentle but no. Jack opened his mouth, and pulled in Mark's tongue. "MORE. MORE. Please PLEASE." He was sobbing while they were kissing. Mark laughed. "Jack, I'm sorry, but I need to breathe. " Jack laughed. "it's ok. I know, I know. Please. Just let me run at the mouth awhile.
They sat down. "Should I make you something to drink? " "Is there any of that wine left you were drinking? Some of that." Jack quaffed about half the glass in one big gulp. "Thank you. OK. I'm going to try to explain what happened, and I'm not sure I can. It started this afternoon, when you put your hands on my shoulders. It wasn't sexual.
But it was. I felt so secure, so , loved. So, cared for. I didn't want you to stop. "Jack, you should have said something. " "No, no. I didn't put it together until tonight. And I'm still not sure I get it. But when the music started, I thought to that - your hands on my shoulders. And I thought of you, and Jamie, and Cora, and Abigail, and all the people I worked with. And I kept on coming back to you. And I kept on thinking "what if I lost him the way that lady did? What if he were, well, gone?" He began to cry. "Jack, I'm not leaving. I'm really not. " Jack went on. "Until this afternoon, I thought, I really thought, this was a sexual relationship. The sex was primary, and everything else was secondary. But not after I felt you hold me. I... I understand this relationship better now. It's a relationship with sex - not a sexual relationship. " Mark looked confused. "No, no, don't misunderstand me. I want the sex to go on, just the way it is. Tonight, maybe a little different, but the same . But things changed tonight Mark, at least for me. Things changed. I want to talk to Mrs. Maloney tomorrow. She may know more. But for now, what I want. What I want more than anything else in the world, is for you to get me undressed, get me in bed and make love to me the sweetest way you can. " He cried and fell into Mark's arms. "Of course baby, of course. What do you want?" "Just follow my lead Mark. I may not be explicit, because I'm overwhelmed. But just follow as best you can. "
"Lead on Jack. Whatever you want. But first. Wait. Let me say something. I thought it was about sex too, I wanted to fuck you so bad, and so often. And I still do. But I want you in my life. Completely."
Jack looked at Mark. "Can you move in with me, Mark? Please?" Mark's mouth dropped. Jack was a very private person, but... " "Jack, I've wanted to do that for a while." "Tomorrow Mark. Tomorrow we go and get your stuff. I'll rent a van. " "Of course sweetie. Of course. Now come here." He lightly kissed Jack on his lips. Jack took the kiss like a starving child. "I want the bedroom Mark. I want you on top of me. And in me. Slow and sweet. Like the violins tonight."
They got into the bedroom. Jack didn't give Mark a chance to undress. He pulled him on top of him. Mark was very concerned, but he was very aroused. Jack was whispering "No nips Mark. No nips. My lips. My ears. My neck. Make me moan. Make me want you even more than I do every day."
Mark began undressing his lover and kissed him tenderly, all over. At some point, Jack whispered "my neck Mark, my neck. Please. Gently, but do it" Mark complied, rubbing his day stubble very gently over a very emotional partner. "OH YES OH YES. Thank you sweetheart. Thank you. Now my lips. Please. Kiss me more. Kiss me deep." Concerned as he was, Mark couldn't help but be aroused, and then Jack whispered "I want you IN ME. Please. Slow, and gentle, but fuck me. FUCK ME. " Mark was almost crying. He was confused now. His lover, his fiance, so vigorous and lustful during sex, was almost begging for soft, gentle sex. He slipped on his condom and moved, almost in slow motion. "YES FUCKING YES. OH STUD. OH MY MAN. You love Jack don't you?" Mark was smiling and gently crying "more than I can say." "Then show me. IN ME. MORE MORE STUD. OH GOD. This is why I bottom. This is why I want you. SHOOT IN ME. LET ME KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE. TAKE ME. " The words "who's in charge, " did it, and Mark exploded. OH SWEETIE. OH MY SWEETIE. How can I fix things? " Jack grabbed him and held him. "There's nothing to fix. Really. There isn't. Nothing's broken. Everything's better than it ever was." He looked at Mark's puzzled face, and smiled. "Give me a couple of days, Mark, please. Things have changed in me. I'd be lying if I said how I felt about you didn't change. But it's all for the good. I want you with me all the time." He looked at Mark. "Please. Can we sleep face to face tonight? I wanna fall asleep on your beautiful hairy chest, I want your hands in my hair. I wanna feel you touching me somewhere other than my nips." Mark looked at him. "It's all about you tonight, beautiful man. All about you." He wasn't sure Jack even heard the last words. He was sleeping peacefully on Mark's chest, his breath easy and soft. "I need to speak to Abigail tomorrow," Mark thought. "And we all have to speak to Laura. She knows something we all don't. "
At that minute , Laurie was having a talk with Rory. "Are you back, love? Did you come back in my Jackie's body? If you did, you picked a good one. "