By Reggie Tangan
Disclaimer: all of the characters portrayed here are used fictiously, and used for entertainment purposes. These stories do not point out that the members of NSYNC are gay. Though I have my speculations.
This story is for adults only; if you don't like homosexual themes, please leave immediately.
For reactions, critiques please send me an email at reggietangan@edsamail.com.ph
Chapter One
How can you say that men nowadays are getting to their feminine sides? As I see it, many men are getting sensitive and more in touch of their feelings than ever before. Me, Jessie Herrera, didn't really notice until I made a thesis about human male psychology. It may sound a bit off beat for a normal kid, but hear this, things I've gathered before do sound interesting.
Of course, everybody in class knew why I chose this topic as my thesis. Heck, I'm gay, isn't that obvious? Well, it shouldn't be because I'm a straight-acting gay guy. Attributes; 5'11, 180 pounds, and turning twenty-one by January.
As a gay guy I have my fantasies, which are properly placed, in my place near my school. I got myself a place when I turned twenty, got a pretty neat job in a cafe joint in San Antonio. Back to my place, you will see that my room is filled with NSYNC posters. I may seem a bit older for boy bands but we all have our fantasies, and we have to have that kind of escape to the stressful way of life, school and such. Jeez, I couldn't help but think of Justin Timberlake. Come to think of it, I think I'm old enough to be his boyfriend.
But I know that they are totally straight, or so I thought.
I usually surf the net at night, with my chat and Instant Messaging on hand to check for people who have a knack for late-night affairs. With the IM, I bounced upon a guy named Borax. He's a sort of a gay newbie, he says, and he can't tell his friends the truth about him, but it seems he's good at keeping things. I thought I'd give some pointers...
so what now? I can't tell my friends I'm gay...
sure you can take some time though...
I know it'll destroy them...
as they say the truth will set you free...
borax you have a sort of problem with identity...
the kid has problems, it's a typical will and grace scenario...
hey guys got to go, my friends are coming...
bye, bye, bye
yeah, whatever...
It was pretty late, I have come to take heed on my bed, I couldn't believe I'm giving away advice to newbies when I am a newbie myself. The last time I was in a serious relationship was like in high school. With Gerard, we were young, we were curious, we were exploring each others bodies, but it was physical, no emotional attachment whatsoever, but we kept the relationship until he and his parents decided to move to New York after high school graduation. All I felt was loneliness and frustration. I couldn't believe I succumbed myself to a person whom we shared intimate nights together and right now not with me. Heck, that was years ago, I've moved on, but sometimes, I wished somebody would swipe me off my feet. I kept my laptop on and still getting messages from other people, I was getting sleepy but the last message caught my eye.
<pop_corn> hey there jeshra, got some info about NSYNC, there are rumors about Joey Fatone is gay or something...
Joey Fatone, gay? I couldn't believe it...
<pop_corn> yeah, like try to watch MTV...
right now? wait a sec...
<pop_corn> I'm telling you I knew Joey was gay, the vanity thing, the red hair, it all connect at each other. Joey is totally gay...
come on, just because he dressed weird that doesn't mean he's gay...
Joey Fatone, gay? I don't think so, being a boy band does not lead you to homosexual tendencies. No, it didn't seem to connect. That Italian stud with the wild red hair and lumbering height wouldn't count as the hottest gay guy in NSYNC.
"No, he is not gay..." I told myself.
As I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, Joey's name was all over MTV, the rumors, the male fans' testimony saying that Joey was gay. What was that all about? How can an NSYNC'er destroy the reputation of the band?
Although Carson Daly was telling the viewers that this is all speculation, the audience didn't seem to phase out the news of Joey being gay or something. It was surreal, it was unbelievable. Because of all the hooplah, I was beginning to believe the mumbo-jumbo rumors.
The next day, everybody in the students' lounge was talking about Joey Fatone and all of the gay rumors. I couldn't help but watch these lowly people talk about Joey Fatone and NSNYC for the moment. For me, it was total bliss. But somehow I felt something for Joey; being ridiculed by the media, and of course the guys being embarrassed by the news.
"So, that guy with weird facial hair is a fag..." one of them said. "A gay guy in NSYNC, wait till my younger sister gets the news..." another one said.
"For Christ's sake, would you guys stop talking about Joey..." I screamed.
Everybody looked at me, some had evil stares, and some just stopped talking about him. But perfect timing caught me, one of the guys popped me a question.
"Is Joey gay or straight?"
It caught me off guard, but I did hear the question. I quietly sat down on one of the chairs and answered in a hush, calm voice.
"No." I told them.
As I came over for my shift in the cafe, the issue of Joey being gay was all over the cafe, even my boss, Peter couldn't help but ask me questions on how can you tell a straight guy is gay.
"For the tenth time, Pete, Joey Fatone is not gay..." "Jess, with your gayety and queerness don't you have a sort of 'gaydar' in your pocket?" "What?" A 'gaydar,' what the heck is that.
"Anyway, good day Peter, you can go now, it's my turn to take care of the cafe." I persuaded to make him leave the premises. Finally, for the next eight hours, I'll be sitting down checking the stations, making coffee and lull away in the Internet. Even though everybody is buzzing around for information of Joey's "gayness." For one wild moment, I thought, what if Joey Fatone is gay?
so what's up?
have you heard the news?
news what?
joey fatone of nsync, gay...
For the next five minutes borax didn't reply to what I said. I thought he got connection problems, but after a while I got a reply.
sorry, connection's kinda jittery...
so what can you say about joey?
nothing I pretty think he's made up his mind being gay...
gay or not I still love nsync...
you will, still love nsync?
of course, like, they are the band to die for...
and?
I love JUSTIN TIMBALAKE!!!
you mean timberlake...
I presume you like nsync too...
yeah, I really think you sound so sweet...
too sweet I'm giving you a toothache...
lol!
hey I'll be in san antonio in a few days, I thought we could meet?
meet? Sure why not. I always wanted to meet borax...
sure, I'll send you the details soon, wait for the email, drop me an email at borax_babee@jive.com
hey I want to know your real name...
user not connected. please try again.
Damnit, I didn't even got his real name. But I got his email anyway.
I am going to meet borax, the mysterious gay newbie. Jeez, I just met this guy a few weeks ago, and I feel drawn from the words he said, all those innocence the plead this poor kid's identity as a gay person. He sounded harmless, but I couldn't see the love connection, though I presumed it was too early to tell.
"Jessie, you sleepy head, wake up!" as Harold kicked the stool I was sitting on, I was just lying my head down on the counter, I guess it was time to close down the place.
Harold, was my assistant, actually, he's the cook of the cafe. It's twelve midnight, all remaining people left, great, closing time. I couldn't believe I felt tired from work, probably because of Joey's issues. Maybe it's eating me.
"Get up, Jess, leave before I could clean you up too." He told me, "Funny, before I leave I'll just check my email." "S'okay, I'll be in the kitchen, just tell me when to start locking up."
Checking my email, maybe I'll be getting that junk email from those cranky advertising from the net. Jeez, I hate spam. But this email that I got wasn't spam, it wasn't it was more like news to me...
Dear Jessie Herrera,
This is your weekly insider from NSYNC world and the guys will be touring San Antonio
for a two-day concert of their "Pop Odyssey Tour."
The guys will be playing at the San Antonio baseball field in November 12 and 13 at 7:30 pm.
Get your tickets from our authorized ticket dealers in your town.
Tickets are available at Ticket World centers in your area.
Hope to see you there...
NSYNC world
NSYNC in San Antonio? Pretty last minute, and just in a week's time, but it was a breather. I saved the email, and immediately told Harold to clean up and lock up the place. Leaving him, I totally forgot Joey's gay issues; it was time to take a breather with NSYNC.
The next day after school I immediately went to the San An mall and try to weave through the traffic and hordes of crazed girls wanting to get tickets for NSYNC tour. Very disturbing, I must say and all the girls shouting "I want tickets," but of course, some girls left crying since they didn't have money, but there was some fear in my mind; the possibility of tickets being sold out. So I crossed my fingers hoping I would get tickets even the farthest tickets I could be totally happy.
"Hey, mister, aren't you old enough to be in an NSYNC concert?" a little girl approached me. What a nerve, I just rolled my eyes, and blurted something in defense.
"Hah, you young lady, I'm tickets for my girlfriend." Though deep inside I haven't got a girlfriend in a long time. That made me a bit insulted, and a bit saddened. God, I need a boyfriend, I screamed to myself. After a long time waiting in line I finally got my tickets. Out of nerve and patience, tickets I mercifully paid.
But to my surprise I requested for ringside tickets, which is a bit far from the stage, but I got front row tickets. Jeez, I paid lower priced tickets but I got front tickets. What should I do? Should I go back? Or just keep my friggin' mouth shut.
"You got front row tickets. You're outta sight," Leroy told me. "You always get the lucky star." Sally said. "Fate must have led me this way." I told them. "So what do you do when you have a chance to meet NSYNC?" Peter asked me. "Me? A far cry from meeting NSYNC." I told them sadly.
Though I totally wished I could meet NSYNC, especially Justin Timberlake. Later that night, my Monday day-off, I got another chance to chat with borax again. And this time I'm going to get the lowdown about borax.
so can't wait for next week?
yes, can't wait. But of course, I have questions you have to answer.
sure, shoot...
what's your real name?
you first...
ok, my real name is Jessie Herrera. And you?
I'm afraid I can't tell you that...
that's so unfair...
sorry, but if I can't tell you or I'm doped.=(
why are you a fugitive?
no, just scared...
scared of what?
you know the news?
what news? Are you hiding from somebody?
all the rumors, and gossip...
don't tell me your...
Though in the tip of my tongue exclaimed somebody else, but he answered a pretty wrong question.
joey fatone...
what? The joey fatone, I'm talking to joey fatone?
I knew this would happen...I shouldn't have told you that...
no, no, trust me, I wont tell anybody about you, wait a sec, so those rumors are true. You are gay.
yeah, so that's why I confided in you because you seem to know everything about gays.
who gave you that idea? Like, I'm pretty lonesome here myself.
but you sounded so experienced and stuff like that.
oh, joey, you don't know much about me...
are we still gonna meet each other...
I suddenly remembered the concert next week; this made me try to remind him of the concert here in San Antonio.
yeah sure, is it before or after the concert?
oh yeah, the concert in san Antonio, I almost forgot...
well, okay. Hey I'm giving you my pic instead so you might see me in the crowd.
sure why not. Well, there is no point in sending you a picture, you know how I look right?
yep.
I couldn't believe I was talking to Joey Fatone, the Joey Fatone of NSYNC. I felt like dropping off my bed. Borax was Joey after all. All those gay questions and innocence I sensed on that kid. That was Joey Fatone all this time? Why him? Why the wild red haired lumbering guy of NSYNC turned out to be a closeted gay?
That I didn't try to imagine I just ran into bed thinking, why Joey? With all those questions in my mind, I thought every boy band in the universe has at least one gay guy.
Let's keep it that way.
to be continued...
send me reactions, crituques, suggestions to reggietangan@edsamail.com.ph
I will glady answer any questions you might have in mind.