Boyslife

BoysLife -- Episode Nine

JOURNAL ENTRY -- JOSH

JASON IS COMING BACK HOME TOMORROW. I KNEW THAT HE WOULDN'T STAY GONE FOR A LONG TIME. I'VE ACTUALLY REALLY MISSED HIM. THINGS ARE JUST NOT THE SAME AROUND HERE WITHOUT HIM.

OKAY, SO THINGS AREN'T THE SAME ANYMORE SINCE THIS WHOLE MESS WITH TREVOR HAPPENED. I'M SURE WE'LL ALL BE OKAY. NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE WITHOUT HIM. CERTAINLY NOT JASON.

AND IT'S KIND OF CUTE HOW HE AND PERRY HAVE HIT IT OFF SO WELL. NO ONE WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF THOSE TWO EVER GETTING TOGETHER, BUT SOMEHOW, NOW THAT IT'S REALLY HAPPENING, IT SOMEHOW SEEMS RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW. I HOPE THEY FIND HAPPINESS. I KNOW I HAVE.

MARK IS UNBELIEVABLE. HE AND I ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. HE IS WILD WHEN I'M MORE RESERVED. HE HAS HIS PIERCINGS AND I CAN'T STAND PAIN. HE LIKES TO BE BOLD AND ADVENTEROUS, I LIKE THE FAMILIAR.

BUT WE BELONG TOGETHER, I JUST CAN'T SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE MET FACE TO FACE, I COULD JUST FEEL THIS ELECTRICITY BETWEEN US, I KNEW THAT WE WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER. I WILL ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE SO SOON. BUT I AM TOTALLY HAPPY WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING AND I COULDN'T THINK OF HAVING IT ANY OTHER WAY.

MAYBE THIS WHOLE ABRUPT CHANGE THING IS DOING US SOME GOOD. PERRY HAD THE ABUSE FROM WADE. JASON AND TREVOR BROKE UP. TREVOR MOVED OUT. I FOUND MARK, AND NOW WE'RE TOGETHER. JASON LEFT AND IS NOW COMING BACK, AND HE AND PERRY ARE LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE AN "ITEM" EVERY DAY.

SO MAYBE THIS IS A GOOD THING. I STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED. I STILL HAVE THESE FEELINGS FOR PERRY MYSELF. IT FEELS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY HE AND I WERE LOOKING LIKE AN "ITEM". ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE SO QUICKLY? I GUESS THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE AFTER ALL. ONLY TIME WILL TELL...

It was late when Perry finally got back to the house. He and Jason had spent what seemed like hours together, kissing, holding each other, unlocking the passion they'd both held in for each other for the past few days. Everything seemed so right for Perry, he couldn't imagine himself doing anything else, with anyone else.

When he got back to the house, Mark and Josh were cuddled up on the sofa, asleep, the television on. He quietly turned it off, and went into the kitchen. As he looked in the refrigerator for something to eat, he heard a noise behind him, and turned his head to see Mark come into the room.

"Hey," Perry said quietly, shutting the refrigerator, an apple in his hand.

"Hi Perry," Mark said. "Late night at work?"

"No I was actually over at Sabrina's seeing Jason," Perry said.

"How is he?" Mark asked.

"He's doing fine," Perry said. "He should be coming back home soon."

"That's great to hear," Mark said. "Josh was so worried about him."

Perry smiled. "Yeah I know."

"Perry can I ask you something?" Mark said.

"Sure," Perry said.

"Do you still have feelings for Josh?" Mark asked.

Perry was a bit taken back with the question. "Why do you ask me that?"

"I just wanted to know the truth," Mark said. "I know that he still has feelings for you. That's not something that is going to go away."

"Josh and me are just friends Mark," Perry said. "I mean the whole thing between us was really just two dates. You can't really fall in love with someone in two dates."

"Maybe," Mark said. "But sometimes I think the strongest feelings are those quick `love at first sight' emotions."

"It's not a big thing Mark," Perry said. "You and Josh are perfect for each other. I really am happy for you guys."

"Thanks," Mark said.

"What's all the noise?" Josh asked, coming into the room, looking tired.

"Mark and I were just chatting," Perry said.

"Did we wake you?" Mark asked Josh, walking to him and slipping his arm around Josh's shoulder, laying his head on Josh's chest.

Josh leaned his head down on Mark's. "No, not really," He said.

"You look tired Josh," Perry said. "You should get some sleep."

"Thanks Perry I hadn't noticed," Josh said with a smile.

"I should get home," Mark said.

"No, you're too tired to drive," Josh said, pulling Mark with him as he went out of the room. "You're staying with me tonight."

"Josh, really I'm fine," Mark started to protest. Josh cut him off.

"You are staying here, and that's final young man"

"Okay Daddy," Mark teased.

Josh laughed. "Good night Perry!" He called from in the hallway.

"Good night," Perry called back.

The next morning as Jason was getting ready to leave Sabrina's and head out to work, he heard his cell phone ringing from inside the guest room. He ran in and looked at the Caller ID. He did not recognize the number, but it was a local one. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Is this Jason?" A familiar, yet strange voice asked.

"Yeah this is Jason," Jason replied. "Who is this?"

"Hey it's Ben Trent," The caller said. "I was the guy you and your friend hung out with the other night at the club, and then we went out afterwards."

"Oh, Ben!" Jason said. "Now I remember you. How's it going?"

"I've been okay," Ben said. "I've really been meaning to call you sooner, but with working and everything I have just been so busy."

"I know the feeling," Jason said. "It's great to hear from you. I had such a fun time when we hung out."

"Yeah me too," Ben said. "It's been a long time since I had been out, and hanging by myself wasn't too exciting. You and your friend are really cool."

"Thanks," Jason said.

"So what's up with you?" Ben asked.

"Actually I am at my sister's, getting ready to head out to work," Jason said.

"Oh really?" Ben asked. "Do you want me to call back some other time?"

"No, it's all right," Jason said. "That's why they made cell phones, so you can talk anywhere. I'm used to driving and talking on the phone."

Ben laughed. "Okay."

"Things have been really crazy for me actually," Jason said. "I'm kind of single now."

"Kind of single?" Ben asked.

"No, very single," Jason said, grabbing his keys and wallet and heading out the door. Sabrina had left a little after he woke up, so he made sure to lock the doors.

"What happened?" Ben asked. "If you don't mind me asking. I thought you had a boyfriend when we were out at the club. Wasn't he away or something?"

"Yeah out of town on business supposedly," Jason said. "When he came back I put things together and found out he'd been cheating on me and now he's moving to Chicago to be with his new lover."

"Oh man I'm sorry," Ben said. "That sounds awful."

"Yeah it wasn't easy to deal with at first," Jason said. "And I guess it's still hard, but I am doing better. I moved out of my place for a few days, but I think I am going back home tonight."

"That's a lot to deal with for just a few days man," Ben said.

"Yeah tell me about it," Jason said, pulling out of Sabrina's driveway and onto the road. "I had a few days off work luckily, so that wasn't too stressful on me. This next paycheck is going to stink, but oh well."

Ben laughed. "Where do you work?"

Jason told him. "Being a waiter is fun, but like every job it has its ups and downs."

"I'm sure," Ben said.

"Hey listen," Jason said. "I should be able to take my lunch break around one o' clock or so, would you like to meet me over at the mall and grab something to eat?"

"Yeah I think I could do that," Ben said. "That would be nice. It will be great to see you again."

"Definitely," Jason said. "All right then, I will see you close to one then."

"Sounds great," Ben said. "Later man."

"Bye," Jason said, hanging up the phone.

"It feels like we haven't worked together in ages," Amy Martin said to Josh as she joined him up at the counter.

"Yeah I know," Josh said. "Things have been a blur the past few weeks. I feel like I'm on a never ending roller coaster."

"It's called life buddy," Amy said with a smile.

Josh nodded, "Yeah," He said. "I know all about it."

Amy didn't say anything for a moment. "Have you talked to Jason?" She asked finally.

Josh shook his head. "I haven't talked to him personally, but Perry went and saw him last night at Sabrina's." He let out a small laugh. "They spent the whole evening together, alone from what I understand."

"Good for them!" Amy said. "I'm glad the two of them are finally realizing how much tension's been between them, you know?'

"Yeah," Josh said. He looked away.

"Josh are you really okay with all of this?" Amy asked. "I mean it is kind of difficult to understand. Emotions are being passed back and forth in this situation, it's so..."

"I know what's going on here!" Josh said, a bit abruptly. He caught himself, and apologized. "Sorry, Amy, it's just that I realize now that I was being way too fast in my feelings for Perry, and I let things get out of control."

Amy didn't say anything.

"Let me go help those customers," Josh said, moving slowly away from her.

As he was helping the people, Amy glanced up at the door and saw Sabrina Harmon, Jason's sister, walk in. She went up to greet her.

"Boy isn't this whole thing a mess?" Amy asked Sabrina as the girls hugged quickly.

"Tell me about it," Sabrina said. "But I think things are starting to return to somewhat a more calmer level. Jason should be moving back home either tonight or tomorrow morning, and he's finally realizing that he really wants to be with Perry."

"It seems a bit fast," Amy said. "I don't know what to think sometimes."

Sabrina shook her head. "I somehow knew things weren't always perfect for Jason and Trevor." She sighed. "I really am sorry it had to end like this, but I guess it's all going to work out in the end."

"Hey Sabrina," Josh said, coming over to them.

"Hi Josh," Sabrina said. "I was on my lunch break from the salon and I thought I'd drop in and say hello."

"How's Jay?" Josh asked.

"He's making it through," Sabrina said. "It's going to be hard to completely forget about Trevor and their relationship, but each day is a new day, and he has to deal with it, get over it, and just move on. Otherwise, he'll just be depressed and miserable all the time, and we all know that Jason doesn't want that to happen more than anybody."

"I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute," Amy said. She patted Sabrina on the arm. "Give me a call sometime, we'll do lunch."

"I will," Sabrina said with a smile. Amy walked away.

"Josh are you three going to be okay in the house?" Sabrina said. "I know Trevor was paying his share of the bills and with his portion taken away things can get tight."

Josh nodded. "I know, I've thought about it a lot. We'll just have to find someone else to move in with us." He paused for a moment. "We worked out the agreement on the house for four occupants. So I guess we need to have four."

Sabrina nodded her head in understanding. "Listen Josh, I know there's been a lot of changes going on and another big one might be too much for you guys to handle, but I want you guys to consider moving into my place."

"Sabrina, Granny gave you that house..." Josh began to protest.

Sabrina put her hand on Josh's chest, "Please let me finish," She said. "I don't have a mortgage and I have a well, so there's no water bill. Granny wanted the house to stay in the family and I was the first one to move out."

Josh shook his head. "I can't do that Sabrina," He said. "She never was happy with my being gay, she didn't get to find out that Jay was, and living in her house would go against everything she believed in."

"Josh she's dead," Sabrina said. "She's not going to come yell at you like she used to. I can always find an apartment by myself somewhere. That house is really way too big for just one person anyway." She paused. "Please just think about it, okay?"

Josh sighed. "All right, I will think about it." He said. "But I am not making any promises."

"Good," Sabrina said. "You know I want to do everything I can to help you guys..."

"And this might be taking it too far," Josh said. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're awesome Sabrina, but I gotta get back to work."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Yeah I guess I should go get some food before I head back to work."

"Yeah I think that would be good," Josh said. "Tell Jason I said hello."

"I will," Sabrina said, turning and walking out of the store.

Jason pushed open the doors to the mall, and almost saw Ben as soon as he did. Ben was sitting on a bench, looking anxious, wearing an outfit much like he did that night at the club. Jason could tell that the two of them had just about the same style of dress.

"Hey there," Jason said, going up to Ben.

Ben stood and gave Jason a quick hug. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

Jason shrugged. "Oh not much, I'm doing much better."

"Well that's good to hear," Ben said, smiling.

Jason smiled back. "I totally don't mean to rush you man, but I only have about forty five minutes left and I am really hungry!"

Ben laughed. "All right, let's go get some food then."

The two of them got meals from a fast food place in the food court, and then found a nice little table, overlooking the fountain on the lower two levels of the mall.

"I'm really glad we could get together like this Jason," Ben said. "I don't really have that many friends in this area, and meeting people like you and Perry is awesome."

Jason nodded. "Yeah it was cool to meet you too."

"So what's up with you and him?" Ben asked. "The two of you looked pretty smug the other night at the club." He gave Jason a small smile.

"It's kind of hard to explain," Jason said. "We're just now discovering feelings for each other that we never knew existed."

"That's amazing," Ben said. "I wish I could have something like that happen to me. I don't have much luck in the whole dating game."

"You'll find someone," Jason said. "A guy as nice and sweet and fun as you is bound to find someone."

"Thanks," Ben said. He sighed. "My personal life has been kind of on the back burner right now."

"Why is that?" Jason asked.

"Well, I have to look for a new place to live," Ben said. "I was renting this really nice place in the city, but the landlord just decided to up the rent and I really cannot afford that much."

"That's not good," Jason said.

"I know," Ben said, nodding. "It was a total miracle that I was at the club in the first place. I don't like going places like that by myself, but I know a few people that go there regularly, so I was hoping to bump into one of them maybe."

"And then we bumped into you," Jason said.

Ben laughed softly. "Yeah I guess you did."

Jason looked at his watch. "Listen, I really need to get back to work in a few minutes." He paused. "I don't want to be too presumptuous about this, but right now us guys are looking for someone to move in and take over Trevor's share of the rent."

"Jason I couldn't do that to you," Ben said. "I barely even know you guys."

"But I like you Ben," Jason said. "You're a really nice guy. I think you would be a perfect candidate to live with us. Perry already knows and likes you and Josh is an easy guy to convince."

"But I..." Ben said.

"Let me at least talk to them about it," Jason said, cutting him off. "Trevor was my boyfriend and so it's only fair that I replace him with the person of my choosing."

Ben nodded. "It would be nice to hang out with some guys who accept me and don't question my lifestyle."

"I totally understand," Jason said. "I'll call you and let you know what happens."

"Okay," Ben said, and they both stood.

"I still want to keep in touch and all," Jason said, as the two of them walked out to their cars. "No matter what happens with this moving situation."

"Yeah that sounds awesome," Ben said.

Jason smiled. "Great! Well then I'll talk to you later then." The two of them hugged, and said goodbye, and headed for their cars.

"Thanks for letting me stay Sabrina," Jason said, zipping up his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder with a small grunt.

"I'm glad I could do something to help you," She said. "And promise me you'll let me know if there's anything else I can do."

Jason smiled, and nodded. "You know I will." He followed her out of the house and to his car, where he threw the bag into the trunk.

"Be careful driving home," Sabrina said, from where she stood on the porch.

"I will!" Jason called to her, opening the door and getting in. `This is it' he thought to himself.

The drive back to the house took longer than usual, probably because of Jason's racing thoughts and pounding heartbeat. He had no reason to be nervous about going home, but he was. It was not something he could explain, much less make go away. But he knew that it was time for him to move on with his life and forget about Trevor and all the pain that had been forced on him in the past few days.

He finally turned the car into the neighborhood and then into the driveway of the house. The lights were all on, meaning Josh and Perry would be awake and waiting for him.

He quietly got out of the car, trying for some reason not to make too much noise, and then got his bag out of the trunk. His heart was beating so loud and fast inside his chest that he could feel it vibrating his entire body. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, and then made his way up the walk.

He got to the door, stuck his key into the lock, like he had done a thousand times before, and turned the handle. The door opened, and he went inside. That was it. No one rushed to knock him over with a hug, no one came screaming down the stairs. It was just like coming home had always been. It was his home.

Jason set his bag down and removed his jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. The house was relatively quiet, and there was no one in the living room watching television. Jason slowly made his way down the hall and into the kitchen. As he neared the doorway, he could see Perry sitting at the table, pouring over a magazine, a bowl of ice cream next to him.

Perry looked up as Jason came into the room. "Hey," He said with a smile.

"Hey," Jason said, leaning up against the doorway. There was a moment of silence, and then Perry came over and gave Jason a small hug. Jason returned the embrace, holding onto Perry for a moment and then letting him go. "Where's Josh?"

"Upstairs on the computer," Perry said. "I think he's chatting with Mark or something."

"Oh, okay," Jason said.

"So you're back home now?" Perry asked softly.

Jason nodded slowly.

Perry smiled. "I'm glad."

Jason didn't say anything. He was trying to shake away some of the awkwardness he felt. He just wanted life to be normal again. He was not going to make this a big deal, and he was going to try his hardest to adjust to things being new in his life.

"Do you want some ice cream?" Perry asked. "I was just in one of those moods tonight."

"Sure," Jason said. "That sounds great. Do we still have that big bag of M & M's you had in there the other day?"

"You know, I think we do," Perry said, going to the refrigerator and looking inside. A moment later, he pulled out a half-full bag of candy. "Here it is!" he said proudly.

Jason smiled, and got a bowl out of the cabinet. "How is work going for you Perry?" He asked.

"It's going all right," Perry said. "At least it's a paycheck and I have money to spend now."

"Yeah that's always nice," Jason said. He scooped out some ice cream and Perry threw some of the candies into the bowl. They both laughed, and it felt good to Jason. The two of them sat next to each other at the table and ate their ice cream.

As they ate and talked, Josh came into the room.

"I thought I heard you down here Jay," He said, standing behind his cousin, with his hands on Jason's shoulders, massaging gently. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Jason said quietly. There was a moment of silence before Jason spoke up again. "I want to talk to you guys about finding another roommate."

"Are you sure?" Perry asked. "We can wait on this if you want to Jay."

Jason shook his head. "No, we'll kill ourselves if we try and make up Trevor's part of the bills."

Josh took a seat next to Jason, across from Perry. "What did you have in mind Jason?"

"Perry and I know this guy..." Jason said.

"We do?" Perry asked, a confused look on his face.

"Yes, Ben Trent," Jason said. "We met him at the club remember?"

"Okay, Ben!" Perry said, remembering. "When did you talk to him?"

"I saw him today," Jason said. "We met for lunch at the mall."

"And you want him to move in with us?" Josh asked.

"I think it's only fair, seeing as it was me who brought Trevor into this," Jason said. "Of course, we're gonna have to do some rearranging to fit him in..."

Josh cut him off. "I don't even know this guy Jason," He said. "Isn't that a little unfair to me?"

"Did you have someone else in mind Josh?" Perry asked.

"Well I was talking to Mark..." Josh started.

"Josh, no," Jason said firmly. "Believe me, you don't want to do that."

"How do you know what I want?" Josh asked, his voice rising.

"I know how it's like to live together with a boyfriend," Jason said. "Me and Trevor were serious, but not that serious. I don't want to see you and Mark get ruined because of seeing each other too much."

"So you want me to let a complete stranger move in here with us?" Josh asked.

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?" Perry asked. "The only reason you want to ask Mark is because he's your boyfriend."

"But at least you guys know him," Josh said.

"True," Perry said. "But I think you could at least take the time and get to know Ben too. It's only fair. He's a really nice guy."

"We're not going to make any decisions right away," Jason pointed out. "But it's something that we need to start thinking about."

Josh stood. "I'll meet the guy, but I'm not making any promises," He said, walking out of the room.

"What was that all for?" Perry asked.

Jason sighed. "I don't know." He stood up. "I'm gonna head upstairs, I'm tired."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Perry asked softly.

Jason shook his head. "No, I think I'll be okay."

"All right," Perry said. "It's good to have you back Jay."

"It's good to be back," Jason said, putting his bowl into the dishwasher. "Good night Perry," He said, going out of the room.

"Good night," Perry said.

The next morning, Perry was the first one out to work. All three of the guys worked day shifts, so they were all up at the same time. Josh and James both would be leaving shortly after Perry.

As he was about to leave, the 3 of them were in the kitchen, and he had an idea.

"Hey guys, why don't we have a really nice dinner tonight?" Perry said. "I'll be home before you so I can get things started. We can invite everyone, Mark, Sabrina, Amy."

"That sounds nice," Josh said, nodding.

"I'd like to call Ben and ask him to come too," Jason said.

Perry looked at Josh. Josh simply shrugged.

"That's fine Jay," He said.

"Great!" Perry said, sounding excited. "I'll bring home a ham then, is that okay with you guys?"

"Sure," Jay said. "I'm sure Sabrina will want to bring something."

"Yeah, I'll talk to Amy today at work," Josh said. "I'm not sure what her schedule is like."

"Okay," Perry said. He looked at his watch. "I really gotta run," He said. "I will see you guys later then."

"I'll call your cell phone and let you know what Ben and Sabrina say," Jason said.

"Awesome," Perry said, grabbing his keys off the counter. "You better call too Josh, about Amy and Mark."

"I will," Josh said, nodding.

"I'm outta here!" Perry said, walking out of the room. "See ya!"

"Bye!" Jason called out.

There was an awkward moment of silence after Perry left the room.

"Jason, there's something I need to talk to you about," Josh said.

"Is this about Mark again?" Jason asked. "Because if it is..."

"It's not that," Josh said. "Sabrina wants to give us her house."

Jason's mouth dropped open. "What?" He asked.

"She thinks it will help us out," Josh said. "With us not having to pay a mortgage things could be a lot easier."

"I couldn't do that Josh," Jason said. "She loves that house."

"Jason I think we should really consider it," Josh said.

Jason shook his head. "I can't believe you're saying that. I won't move out Josh. We're going to be just fine." He turned and walked out of the room, leaving Josh alone.

That evening, Perry walked in the door carrying four bags of groceries in his hand. He had not been this excited about something for a while. Both Jason and Josh had called and left messages for him saying that everyone was going to come.

Perry dropped off the bags on the kitchen table, ran up to his room to change his clothes and then he began to get things prepared.

The first person to arrive was Amy. Perry heard the doorbell ring just as he was about to put the ham into the oven. He wiped his hands on a towel and ran out to answer it.

"Hey sweetie!" Hey said to Amy, giving her a big hug and pulling her inside.

"Oh my!" She said with a laugh, shutting the door behind them as Perry finally let go of her. "Someone's in a good mood."

Perry smiled. "Yeah I am." He turned and headed back into the kitchen. "Come on, you can help me get this food all ready," He said to Amy as she hung her jacket on the coat rack. She came into the kitchen a moment later.

"Ooh Perry, I never knew you were such a good cook," She said jokingly.

He laughed. "Ha! You don't know me very well girl!"

"You're crazy," Amy said. She set the bag in her hand on the counter. "I brought two bottles of soda."

"Thanks," Perry said. "I'm gonna try this recipe for a sweet potato pie that my grandma used to make." He paused, looking at the index card in his hand. "You can help me, so I don't make a complete fool of myself."

"Oh I know how you are!" She said, punching him playfully on the arm. "You just want someone to blame when it tastes awful!" She laughed.

"Please help me," Perry said desperately. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Amy smiled. "All right, I'll help. Do you got an apron or something?"

"I think Jason might have one of his work ones up in his closet," Perry said.

"I'll go look," Amy said, bouncing out of the room. Perry began to get out all the ingredients he was going to need, and she returned a few moments later, wearing one of the red aprons that Jason wore to work.

"Looking good lady," Perry said. "Let's get this show on the road."

As they began to mix the ingredients in a large bowl, Amy asked about Jason.

"He seems to be moved back in all right," She said. "His room looks the same as it always has."

"Yeah," Perry said. "We're probably gonna have to move all the computer stuff into his room and let whoever moves in have the computer room."

"But that room's so small," Amy said.

"I know," Perry said. "I was thinking about moving in there myself. I really don't have that much stuff anyway."

"And then you'd be right across the hall from Jason," Amy said with a grin.

"Yeah, that thought did cross my mind," Perry said.

As they laughed, the door opened again, this time it was Josh and Mark, coming in with a bag of groceries.

"We brought our share," Mark said. He set the bag down on the counter and gave Perry a quick hug and then did the same with Amy. Josh followed, greeting his roommate and co-worker in the same way.

"Everything should be ready in a half an hour or so," Amy said. "Providing no one else brings something we have to cook."

"It smells good," Mark said. "I'm starving!"

"Well you're just going to have to wait," Perry teased.

"I'm gonna go hop in the shower real quick," Josh said.

"I'll come up with you," Mark said, taking Josh's hand and letting Josh lead him out of the room.

"Ooh, somebody's gonna have some fun!" Amy said with a laugh.

A few minutes later Sabrina arrived, with some dinner rolls. She was soon followed by her brother, who rushed in the door, thinking he was late.

"No, we didn't miss you at all!" Perry joked, putting his arm around Jason's waist. "The house was so quiet."

"Gee thanks," Jason said, grinning. "At least I'm good for noise pollution."

Perry squeezed Jason. "You're good for more than that baby." He said in a purr-like voice.

"You guys need a room," Sabrina teased.

"We already have a few of them," Jason said.

"What's with this sexual tension tonight?" Amy asked Sabrina, smiling. "These guys are starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable."

Sabrina laughed. "You know it girlfriend. Us ladies have to stick together."

"Has Ben got here yet?" Jason asked.

"Not yet," Perry said. Then there was a ring of the doorbell, and a small knock. "But I am guessing that would be him."

"Oh yes, let's bring him into the welcoming committee," Sabrina joked. The girls stood back in the living room as Jason opened the door, with Perry close behind.

Ben stood outside, looking quite attractive in his silver liquid pants, a tight blue ribbed sweater and a leather jacket. His bleach-blonde hair was spiked and messy, and he held a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"I didn't know what to bring," He said. "So I thought flowers for the table would be nice."

"That's great," Jason said, letting Ben inside, and then giving him a hug.

"Hey Perry," Ben said, hugging him as well, and then handing him the flowers.

"It's great to see you again," Perry said. "I'll go get something to put these in," He walked out of the room.

"Okay Jason," Sabrina said, coming up to him and Ben, with Amy beside her. "Tell me who this incredibly sexy guy is!"

"Girls, this is Ben," Jason said, smiling. "Ben this is my sister Sabrina and our good friend Amy."

"Nice to meet you ladies," Ben said.

"Why is it all the hot ones are gay?" Amy joked, bumping her body into Sabrina's.

Ben laughed. "You girls are going to make me blush."

"Let me take your jacket," Jason said. Ben gave it to him and Jason hung it on the coatrack.

"Please tell me you work out to have a body like that!" Sabrina said to Ben, giving him a playful laugh.

"Yeah I used to go to the gym all the time," Ben said. "I actually haven't been in a while."

"You should get these guys to go with you sometime," Amy said.

"Hey!" Jason said.

"Sorry babe," Sabrina said. "But I gotta agree with her. If it did wonders for Ben..." She and Amy giggled.

"Girls," Jason said, shaking his head. "I guess as soon as Josh and Mark get down here we can get to dinner."

"Let me go up and bug them," Amy said, heading up the stairs. "We'll be down in a minute."

Jason and Sabrina took Ben into the dining room, where Perry was finishing setting the places. He had moved the small kitchen table into the room to give them more eating space. On each of the two tables sat a small vase with the flowers in it. Candles were lit, and it looked really classy.

"This looks great," Ben said. "Thanks for inviting me Jason."

"I'm glad you came!" Jason said.

"Sabrina, you wanna help me with getting the food out?" Perry asked, going back into the kitchen.

"Kitchen duty," Sabrina said to the guys as she followed Perry into the kitchen.

A few minutes later Amy came downstairs with Josh and Mark not far behind. They were introduced to Ben, and then they all sat down and Perry began serving the food.

After the meal, the girls left, and Mark left soon after they did. Perry insisted that he could clean up on his own, leaving Josh, Jason and Ben to sit in the living room and talk. The television was on to a sports channel, but no one was really paying much attention to it.

"So Jason tells me you might be interested in taking the extra spot we have in this living arrangement," Josh said to Ben, a little edge to his voice.

"Yeah," Ben said. "I've been living by myself for a while now, and my landlord is raising my rent. I just can't afford that extra payment with my car and everything else."

"I know how it is," Josh said. He looked at Jason. "Jay and I have not really had much positive discussion on this issue, but I think he's got good judgment, and I trust him." He paused again, and looked back at Ben. "I know I just met you tonight, but if Jay feels so strongly about you being the right person and Perry agreeing, I don't see why it's a problem."

"Are you sure?" Ben asked. "I know this feels kind of rushed."

"It is rushed," Jason spoke up. "But we can't go much longer without that extra money for rent and bills."

"Unless we take another option," Josh quickly added, getting a sharp glare from his cousin. "But we really don't want to do that."

Ben didn't say anything at first. "I'd really like to move in and help you guys out. It might take a few weeks to get it all to happen, but if you guys are okay with that..." He let it trail off.

Jason looked at Josh and nodded. Josh sighed.

"Yes," Josh said. "I think that will work."

Ben smiled. "Great," He said, looking at his watch and standing. "Well it's getting late and I have a bit of a drive to get home."

"I'll walk you out," Jason said, standing.

"It was nice to meet you Josh," Ben said. "I'm really looking forward to this." He paused. "I promise you I won't be like your last situation."

"Oh I know you won't be," Josh said. He shook Ben's hand. "Welcome to the family." He said with a shrug.

Jason went with Ben out to the car, said goodbye and then went back inside. Perry had finished cleaning up and started the dishwasher.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked, coming into the living room where Josh and Jason were.

"He's in," Josh said.

"What made you change your mind?" Jason asked, sitting next to Josh on the sofa.

"It was Mark actually," Josh said. "He felt we weren't ready to live together and he wanted to keep the relationship the way it was."

"I'm sorry I was so demanding about this," Jason said. "Something about Ben just clicked with me and I knew he was the right person."

"It's okay Jay, I should have trusted your judgment," Josh said. "Both of you guys."

"You had your right to be cautious," Perry said. "After all, you pay your share of the bill too."

"That's true," Jason said. He gave his cousin a hug. "I'm tired, and I want to get some sleep."

"All right," Josh said. "I think I'm going to watch some T.V."

"I'm going to wait for that dishwasher to get done and then finish the kitchen," Perry said.

"Dinner was wonderful Perry," Jason said, going over to him and giving him a quick kiss. "You're a sweetheart." He started to leave the room. "Good night guys."

"Good night," They echoed.

JOURNAL ENTRY -- JASON

WELL, I'M BACK HOME NOW, AND BEN WILL BE MOVING IN AS SOON AS HE CAN.

I DON'T THINK TWO MONTHS AGO I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED ALL THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE WAY IT DID.

TWO MONTHS AGO I WAS BACK HOME LIVING WITH MOM, DAD AND KEVIN. THINGS WERE ROUTINE, I FELT COMFORTABLE IN MY SAFE SURROUNDINGS.

THEN I GOT HERE, AND THE MESS WITH TREVOR HAPPENED. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME. BUT I AM LEARNING TO MOVE ON. I DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I WOULD. I'M SURE HE IS JUST FINE WITH HIS NEW LIFE, AND HE DOES NOT MISS ME AT ALL.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T REALLY MISS NOT HAVING HIM HERE EITHER. I'M HAPPY WITH THE WAY THAT THINGS ARE GOING. PERRY AND I ARE CLOSER THAN EVER, JOSH IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE LIKE MY BEST FRIEND EVERY DAY AND BEN IS JUST THIS NEW AND EXCITING PERSON I CANNOT WAIT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT.

AND MORE THAN EVER, I FEEL FREE. THINGS FEEL RIGHT TO ME. THEY FEEL LIKE THEY HAPPEN FOR A REASON. I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WAS TO TEACH ME A LESSON OF SOME SORT. I KNOW THAT MY EXPERIENCE WITH TREVOR WAS TO TEACH ME MORE ABOUT MYSELF, MORE ABOUT LOVE. I DID LOVE HIM, AND WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER IT WAS SOME OF THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE I WAS DECIEVED AND HIS FEELINGS FOR ME CHANGED. I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN EXCEPT FOR HIS STRANGE RUSHING OFF LIKE HE DID. AND THAT'S WHAT SCARES ME. I GAVE MYSELF SO WILLINGLY TO HIM AND HE TREATED ME LIKE A FOOL.

BUT NOW I KNOW. I WILL NOT MAKE THAT SAME MISTAKE AGAIN.

I'M NOT GOING TO RUSH INTO ANYTHING. I AM GOING TO ENJOY LIFE, TAKE MY TIME AND SEE WHAT COMES TO ME.

I AM HAPPY. I AM ME. IT'S ALL GOOD.