Who knew how an illicit sex affair makes one nervous? The next day, I could have sworn everyone in school knew what had happened. Were there security cameras inside the lab? Did the principal know and would he tell my dad? Would Mr. Fulmer, our chemistry teacher find out? Did my other friends know? Was someone listening at the door? But we were totally silent. Did I have, "guilty" blazoned on my forehead?
Chemistry was immediately after lunch, so I didn't see Brad until then.
"Hi," he said in his usual nonchalantly cheerful way.
"Um, hi."
The conversation continued as if nothing had happened. Since it was Monday we had a lecture session today since Mr. Fulmer was out it was a substitute. She permitted no talking. Lab wouldn't be until Thursday, so we said very little to one another.
After school, I went out to my truck in the parking lot. As I was putting my backpack behind the seat, I noticed Brad walking quickly in my direction with a rather determined look on his face.
"Oh crap, what's happened?" I thought, a gross feeling growing in my stomach.
I rolled down the window as he approached.
"Can we talk?"
I have yet to this day had a conversation with a girl that began with 'can we talk' and ended well. Perhaps, guys were different and that this really was something good. After all, if you can't lie to yourself, whom can you lie to?
"Sure, when?"
"What are you doing now?"
"Going home. Is something wrong?"
"No." He kept glancing around.
"Then what?"
"I don't know."
"Liar."
He looked me straight in the face and said, "What really happened yesterday?"
"You were there, weren't you?" I felt stupid, 144 IQ points and that was the best I could come up with.
"I mean, what are your feelings towards me? I mean, that was just for fun, right?"
"Yeah. Is that it?"
"How far do you live?"
"Far enough. Get in and we'll talk here."
This was not going well. We were now going to talk about feelings. The one thing on earth I'm not good with. Emotions are my kryptonite. I watched his hurried lank across the hood of my GMC Sierra truck. The far side opened and he hopped in. We talked for a few minutes. Then he moved a little closer. School had been out nearly a half hour by now so the parking lot was emptying steadily, there were a fair number of people, most of whom I knew, filing by my truck. But, we just just two guys sitting there. Nothing suspicious.
Then, I noticed this guy named Matthew walking towards us with a very definite smirk plastered to his face. He was a medium built baseball player. He was one of those rare people who was perfect in every way. Friendly, athletic, smart, hard working, drop dead gorgeous, basically all the traits that are desirable in a human being. He was one of the people I had fantasized about. Here he was walking straight towards; neither Brad nor I were in the same league with this guy. I hoped, for a fleeting second, that he would pass us by. Instead, he walked right up to my window as I pretended not to notice him and tapped on the glass. I pressed the button and the window rolled down with its usual hum.
"Hey, Matt. What's up?"
He was absolutely beaming.
"Are you okay?" Brad chimed in, noticing the very large grin.
"Why yes I am," he said, attempting to sound austere, leaning into my opened window.
"Can we help you?" I said.
He paused and looked incredulous. "You really don't know, do you?"
"Know what?" Brad said, not even attempting to cover up his disdain.
"You are the lab tech for chemistry, aren't you?" looking past me, toward Brad, who had a strange look of dread dawning upon his face.
"Andrew, guess who is the biology lab tech."
"You." I said matter-of-factly.
"Now, Andrew, guess what room is adjacent to the chemistry lab."
"Oh shit."
"Yep."
"So, let me guess, you heard," I said, feeling sick both hoping I would and hoping I would not vomit on his well-pressed royal blue button-up dress shirt and light brown pleated khakis.
"At an adult bookstore, people'd pay out the ass for what I saw."
"You saw us?" I was horrified. "How?"
"Doesn't matter. I saw you two going at it... damn."
"So, what if he fucked me, it's no business of yours." Brad spat.
I'm not sure whose jaw dropped further, Matt's or mine. Brad said 'fucked' out loud...
"Oh, but it is," he said pointing his index finger up into the air triumphantly, "See, I know your little secret."
"So, what's the deal?" Brad asked. He was pissed and scared...a dangerous combination.
I sat shamefully staring at my speedometer. 'What's the deal?' are they both nuts? There is not nor will there be a 'deal.'
"You know how they say, you are what you eat. Well, then I'm fast, cheap, and easy. So, my price is very reasonable." He was trying to sound official.
"How much?" I asked, not removing my eyes from my speedometer.
"Free. My silence won't cost you a dime."
I had no real reaction. Brad was disgusted.
"No." Brad said without a moment's hesitation. Brad and Matt had never like each other very much and they had had an argument several days ago that I thought would result in a fight. Fortunately, Brad back down just in the nick of time. It came as an enormous surprise to everyone because they are usually both level headed and unassuming people.
"Who said anything about you?" Matt asked, matching Brad's disdain.
"What do you want?" I asked, trying to avoid open conflict. The last thing I wanted was two guys fighting over me in front of God and everybody in the school parking lot. Good grief, Charlie Brown- can't two guys just have a little fun?
"Haven't decided what I want, just yet- I'll tell you when and where and you'll be there." his voice wavered just slightly betraying that we weren't the only ones talking on pure adrenaline.
"Then why are you..." Brad began. I scowled at him and he stopped immediately, leaned back in the seat, and folded his arms across his chest.
"Gotta go," Matt said with a fake cheerfulness and walked away.
"Ugh," Brad shuddered, "God, he pisses me off. It must take some real balls to do that."
"What do you think he wants?"
"Apparently not me, so that leaves you."
"Apparently. What could he do if I said no?"
"Rat us out."
"So? Were both 17, it's not like what we did was illegal."
"No, but we were on public school property."
"He has no evidence."
"Doesn't need any. We don't live with 'innocent until proven guilty' anymore. Now, an accusation is presumed to be true regardless of evidence."
"Okay, we really are nerds, aren't we?"
We sat in silence for a few moments, both terrified at what Matt might do.
"Do you think he would actually rat us out?"
"Doubt it. That mean explaining why he was listening in. His reputation is more valuble to him than we'll ever be."
"But if he did insist on having sex with you, why would you say no?"
I really had no answer to that question.
"It's the principle of the thing. I would only be doing it because he was forcing me to, not because I wanted to. Besides, I really do like you and I don't want to be with anyone else, Brad." It's dangerous enough with one- if we start doing it with other people- it might get out of control- that's all."
"Since you're heart's not in it, I wouldn't hold it against you."
"Really?"
"Yeah," he said, leaning in a little closer. What the hell?
"What amazes me is how long we've known each other that this didn't happen years ago." He said.
"I guess so."
"No, really," he said, putting his head on my shoulder, "I trust you. That's not an easy thing for me to do." I wasn't sure what to do with that. Did he really have actualy feelings for me?
"I haven't earned your trust, though," I said, folding my arms. I still hadn't taken my eyes off my stationary speedometer.
"You've always stood up for me. No one else ever has."
I looked over at him, thoroughly confused. "When?"
He remained silent for a moment and I felt the slow cadence of his chest rising and falling. "The first time I remember was in 6th grade when that bully Mark Wallingford decided to pull on my backpack every time he passed me. The first time you caught him trying to pull me over backwards, you broke out two of his teeth."
"I'd forgotten about that. I almost got expelled for it, except they knew Mark deserved it- not just for you. But I thought my dad would kill me." I leaned the side of my face up against the top of his head, a slight grin of satisfaction growing on my lips. My eyes kept warily scanning the parking lot.
"Even though we weren't always the best of friends, I always knew that if I needed something, you'd go out of your way to help me. That means a lot to me."
He fell silent and leaned in closer. His chest started to rise and fall slowly. He stirred for a moment. I thought he might be going to sleep. Then he lifted his head and looked up at me. His black sweater was all crooked and crumpled underneath him. He had the crease from my seatbelt slightly imprinted on his cheek. He smiled. My heart soared as I looked back at him. He moved up and his lips met mine. I felt his tongue pressing against me. I opened my teeth and let him in. His tongue went on a foray through my mouth and on his breath I smelled the mintyness of the chewing gum he'd had earlier mixed with a hint of garlic bread from lunch. I felt his hands caressing the sides of my face, his fingers grazing the stubble that had grown there since morning. I reached and put my hands on his shoulders. He reached around me and put his ass on my lap. His lower back pressed up against the horn and my truck let out the most earth shattering, ear-piercing sound I have ever heard in my life. Brad jumped up and hit his head on the ceiling, then fell over side ways, face first onto the seat and then rolled off onto the floorboard. I sat in stunned silence. Brad laughed uncontrollably. He was shaking the whole vehicle. I glanced around to see if that had attracted attention. I almost had a heart attack until I looked and no one was around. Then I started to laugh.
"Don't ever do that again," I tried to scold buy I couldn't stop laughing long enough.
After a few minutes, I looked down at him and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he said, the tears running up his upturned face. His feet were still in my lap and his head was on the floor.
"I like that position," I said and put my hand on his abdomen. I slide my hand under his sweater and said, "No one's looking."
"Go for it," He managed to get out between laughs.
My hand went to his zipper while my eyes kept scanning the parking lot. I unzipped his pants, opened the hole in his boxers and pulled out his cock. Since he'd been laughing, he cock was completely soft in my hand. I paused for a moment.
"Slide your ass off onto the floor too."
He just lay there. "Huh?" He asked, after a second or two.
I stuffed his cock back into his pants and repeated, "Slide your ass off onto the floor."
"What for?"
"Just do it, trust me, I want to try something."
He repositioned himself and let his ass slide down and rest on the floor. He legs remained in my lap. I grabbed a shoestring and pulled. The bowknot came loose easily. I loosened his white with blue trim tennis shoe and pulled it off. I pulled off the white crew sock underneath. He looked up at me quizzically.
"What are you doing?" He asked curiously.
I didn't respond. I took my finger and ran it up the underside of his foot. He flinched.
"Ooo. That tickles." He giggled just slightly.
"What about this?" I stuck out my tongue and licked the bottom of his foot.
"That actually feels really good." Putting a sort of sensual emphasis on 'really.' His voice sounded oddly funny since he was technically speaking into my floorboard air vent underneath the dash.
I rubbed his feet just a little bit more. I kissed his big toe. I let my tongue wash the little hairs that grew on its surface. I could feel his whole body relax as he was enjoying this new thing. Then I moved up his ankle and around, lifting his foot up into the air. Anyone walking by would have been wondered what the hell I was doing. I pushed the denim of his jeans up exposing more of his leg. My hands were caressing his leg and calf muscle, letting my fingers run through the hair. I reached down and pulled his midriff back up onto the seat, leaving his head on the floor. I leaned over and inhaled long and slow over the crotch of his jeans. I put my hands on his hips and nuzzled his cock with my nose. I stuck out my tongue and touched the coarse fabric. I rubbed my hands up and down against the cloth that covered his beautiful body. I could still feel the roughness of his toes on my tongue and slight taste of lint in my mouth. I let my mouth wander some more and found my way to his navel. I stuck out my tongue and put it in there. I rolled my tongue so that it went all the way to the bottom. My hands went up inside his shirt and came to rest on his nipples. They were still soft in the warmth of his clothing. It amazed me how sensual this was even that, minus a shoe and sock, we were both completely clothed as we would be normally, yet we were having one of the most intimate moments of our lives. I leaned over, my mouth came back down and I kissed lightly, down the front of his pants, around the pockets, the bulge of his wallet, which he kept in the front, to the inseam, and back down his leg. I paused slightly at his knee. I could hear him breathing very softly, his chest still heaving rhythmically up and down.
I started to suck his toes again. I could feel the rough sharpness of his toenails against the roof of my mouth. My teeth were gently scraping the bottoms of his toes. I pulled them out of my mouth and saw his foot glistening with my saliva in the late afternoon sunlight that poured in through my windshield. I just sat there for a moment, just soaking up the intensity of the moment. It was unbelievable, even though we were both clothed the whole time. Who knew? I leaned back in my seat and thought how lucky I was to have someone love me. Not only someone who loved me, but someone I loved. Someone I would go to the ends of the earth, to my own death, to protect. Even now, I don't know why I suddenly felt that way about him. What if Brad hadn't mustered up the courage to send that note in class? It was a bit childish, but nonetheless. I looked down at him. I felt complete. His legs in my lap in the sunlight, his torso fading into the shadows below. The warmth of the southern winter sun shining through the glass. There were a few people walking in the far distance, all unaware of the moment I had just shared.
As I sat back in my seat, just enjoying the moment, I heard the shorter breaths of wakefulness fading into the slow deep breaths of sleep. I leaned over and looked down, there he was, asleep. His eyes closed, head turned slightly to the side. He looked so peaceful. I can't even put into words how he looked. I couldn't bear to disturb him. Finally, I really did have to go, so I cleared my throat rather loudly. He stirred. I leaned over and put my arms behind his shoulders and lifted him from the floor. His sleepy head bobbed back and forth, a tiny drop of drool in the corner of his mouth. He fell into my arms and rested his head on my shoulder, smearing the drool onto my collar. His arm went over my head, putting my face right into his armpit. He finally awakened.
"I guess I need to go." He sat up, yawned widely and stretched, putting his fingertips onto the roof of my truck.
"I guess you do. But don't be in too much of a hurry," I said smiling.
"See you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here.
When I cranked up my truck, the clock informed me that I'd been sitting there with him for nearly three hours.