THE ALEX SERIES, BOOK 3: "Brandon's Bosses"
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Chapter 29. Brandon's dilemma
Brandon did some reading and went to bed and fell asleep easily, but in the middle of the night he woke up burping up the aftertaste of the piss Kelton's nephew made him drink. And he couldn't get back to sleep for hours.
He was so confused! He had two conflicting reactions when he'd burped. On the one hand, it really turned him on when he remembered how the guy treated him, but on the other hand, he actually got angry at the idea that he was constantly being forced to serve as a urinal.
Turned on and angry at the same time: a question of dignity? of chosen role? of the most sub thing he would ever do? of the submission? because he'd been dominated and humiliated by everything that happened? because of the charisma and power of that guy? of being bullied? So many mixed emotions.
He actually sat down and made a list and then paced the room, and if something else came up, he'd add that to the list as well. The last thing he wrote down could possibly be the conclusion he might reach: "Maybe I should make `being used as a urinal' a hard limit." But then, dammit, some times he's really turned on by being treated that way by Doms who want to emphasize how much of a pig slave he'd become. He adds that to the list and paces some more, around and around the room.
He's got to talk to someone about this. Who could he trust not to spread it around about his confusion? He goes through a list in his head. Andrew? definitely not—he couldn't handle talking about Dom/sub stuff. Gavin? no. Gavin used him that way. Michael? he's not into it, yet. Other Doms he's been with? No, none of them would work. Damn. Who could possibly be safe to talk to?
All of a sudden, like a flash of lightning, it hit his head: Kurt!
Well it's too early in the morning for anything like that now. He goes back to bed and now, with progress made, he is able to sleep, actually to 10 in the morning. Lazy Sunday. Date at 4 pm.
He remembers what he was thinking about, so it's not too early to call now. He calls Barry.
"Brandon, what can I do for you? you okay?"
"Oh yes, Dad, but there's something puzzling me and don't feel comfortable talking to anyone here about it, so I was thinking that maybe I'd call Kurt and ask him for advice."
"That sounds like a good plan, but I have to ask, why not that therapist you met with?"
"I thought of that, but I really need to talk to a man who's in the scene, and I've met Kurt before."
"Well sure, son. Hold on a sec and I'll get you the number. . . . . . xxx-xxx-xxxx .Would you like me to place a call to let him know you'd be calling? that might make it a little more comfortable for you."
"That's a wonderful idea, Dad. thanks so much for the info."
"You're welcome. I hope things work out."
"Oh, I'm sure they will, but now that there are people in my life that I can talk to about these things, I'm sure things will be fine."
Brandon goes upstairs to mix up his breakfast. Michael is already sitting there with Oscar, and they're both drinking coffee and speaking quietly.
"Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you?" A quick look shows him that they're both dressed. Oops! Michael never sent a "dressed" signal.
Oscar looks up and smiles. "Hi, Brandon. I'm Oscar. Good to meet you. Mike has talked a lot about you."
"Uh-oh! Mike, you didn't tell him about the gopher, did you?
"I'd never tell anyone about THAT!" Michael plays along.
Oscar grunts. "Hey Mike, Brandon's here naked. Shouldn't you be naked too? You told me that was a house rule."
Michael starts to strip. "Yes, but only for the two of us."
"Well you both look real good. Turn around, Brandon, so I can see your back and ass."
Brandon does and hopes that he didn't really get welted from the guy's strap last night.
Too late. "Ouch!" says Oscar. "Someone got you good!"
"He probably deserved it," says Michael, finally naked, and sticks out his tongue at Brandon.
"He just wanted to show me who was boss, as if I didn't know," answers Brandon, looking right at Oscar as if to dare him.
"That's one way of doing it," observes Oscar, "but I have techniques that sometimes work even better," and he looks right at Michael, who begins to blush. Oscar keeps talking. "You know, I just had this vision of the two of you, naked and on all fours, wearing thick leather collars around your necks which are leashed, and I'm standing there between you, holding both leashes clipped together and a strap in my other hand."
"Oscar!" cries out Michael. "Only a fantasy, baby, only a fantasy. Don't you have any?" says Oscar.
Michael, still blushing, "Sure, but I'm not going to tell them to anyone right now."
"And Brandon?" "I'm living all of mine, Sir," he replies, and his eyes glow when he says Sir.
"No desires for something you haven't tried yet?" he asks. "there probably are, but I haven't been thinking about anything lately. Mike, here, however, . . . . (Michael gives him a very dirty look) . . . well let's just say that Mike has quite a list of things he's never tried for . . . . practically a virgin as far as subs go." Then he turns to Mike. "That's getting you back from what you said before!" and Michael sticks his tongue at Brandon.
At that moment, Brandon's phone rings, so he goes into the other room to take the call. "Brandon, this is Barry um Dad. I just spoke to Kurt and he told me that in his opinion it would be much better for you to talk to an experienced slave, so he gave me Larry's number and said you have his permission to call any time at all. xxx-xxx-xxxx.
"Wow. Well, thanks, Dad. And Larry's been with Kurt for a long time, hasn't he?"
"Yes, son, a good many years. Good luck!"
"thanks, Dad," he says and disconnects the call. Michael then comes in with Oscar and shows him to the door. "thank you for letting me come in," Oscar says to Michael, "I learned a lot." And he winks and leaves.
"Oh my fucking God!" says Michael. "I wanted to date a vanilla guy. Oscar said he wasn't into any of this stuff. But all these Dom traits are coming up with him and it is the hottest thing I've ever had."
"I could sense that in him. It's happening pretty quickly, too, it seems to me. Your ass is still quite pink, Mikey."
"He doesn't allow me to cum. Says it's turning him on that only his cock matters."
"Holy shit! typical Dom talk."
"Honey, I'm in trouble . . . . "
"Oh damn, Michael, don't start falling . . . you said you don't want that . . . . . "
"I know, Bran, and I've got to stick to it. But damn! Never dreamed I'd be with a virgin Dom before."
"Hey, you wanna be in a threesome with me? The two of us with one Dom. And NOT OSCAR!!!"
"Really? But he'd probably want to watch us do stuff to each other, Brandon. Not cool."
"Maybe I can work it out with those limits. Maybe I can ask Steven to do it. Or even Gavin. I bet he'd do it. And he's really good at it."
"Hmmmmm...why don't you ask Gavin first? That would be less complicated."
"you're right. Okay, I'll ask him when I get a chance. Not this week though. I'm kind of ...um...booked up!"
Michael laughs.
"Hey, I thought you were going with guys from work for drinks."
"I was, but they suggested a gay bar so I'd be more comfortable. The Club was 21 only tonight so I couldn't get in. We turned to leave and who should I see coming in but Oscar. So . . . "
"I get it. It seems like fate is pushing you two together, dude."
"Oh, don't say it! . . . But . . . wow!" They both laugh.
"Mike, I have to make an important phone call."
"Okay, Brandon. I'll catch you later."
Brandon goes downstairs and calls Larry.
"Hello, This is Kurt. Brandon, is that you calling? I recognize the area code."
"Yes, Sir, it is. Oh, I thought this was Larry's number. I must have gotten the two confused."
"No, you're fine, Brandon. This is Larry's number. I always answer."
"Wow. Control."
"Kurt chuckles. That kind of thing turns you on, eh, boy?"
"very much, Sir."
"Well anyway, you need to speak to Larry and I've given permission. So here he is."
"thank You, Sir."
Larry comes on. "Hi Brandon. Master told me you were confused about some things?"
"Yes, Larry. Do you have time to talk?"
"All the time you need, buddy. Take your time."
"Well, I guess I should start back with Justin. I'm no longer with him now."
"I know, Brandon. No worries. Just go on and tell me what you need to tell me."
"Well, J kept telling me he was going to train me to be his urinal. And he started playing games like making me watch him, stuff like that, and then one time he made me take one mouthful and swallow and I did, and he kept saying he was gonna break me in. Well anyway, we had some troubles and I was really afraid he was going to give up on me, so this one time I told him he could use me that way so he did. And then it was a regular thing.
"Well, now I'm down here at home and all the Doms I've been with have been saying the same thing—that once it happened with Justin now it has to happen with anyone who wants it. They keep telling that since Justin trained me to be his urinal and now I'm a single slave, that means I am a urinal. Period. Anyone can demand that of me. And I've been giving in to it even though some times I really don't like it but some times I do. And now I'm so confused. Can you follow all of that, Larry?"
"You're doing fine, Brandon. I think I get the picture. So now tell me what you're confused about. What are your thoughts."
"A lot of mixed thoughts and mixed emotions. I couldn't sleep last night so I got up and made a list. Here it is. (Brandon reads Larry the list his made last night).
"Wow. That's a lot of honest thinking, Brandon."
"thanks. but I can't put it all together, Larry."
"Of course you can't. There are two alternatives you have to face: 1) it's a hard limit. or 2) it's not, and since it turns you on to submit to a Dom, you have to submit."
"I'm stuck there, Larry."
"so you want me to help you make up your mind."
"If that's possible, yes."
"Well, before I say anything about your situation let me tell you about mine. Kurt was the first to use me as His urinal and that's what I've been for a long time now. And, as time went by, he started requiring me to be so for others as well. Now it's all the time and for anyone."
"so you really get it."
"Precisely. And I had a lot of the same struggles back in the beginning. it's par for the course, Brandon. It's a big issue. Like body mods to please a Master that become permanent. Or being branded."
"Branded? Ouch!" "I agree. Just to think it was a common practice for slaves back in the south. Horrible."
"So you're not?"
"No."
"But if Kurt wanted it?"
"We've already hashed that out when it first came up and it's never going to happen."
"When he started using you to . . um... to drink..."
"It was difficult. But it happened and I got all mixed up about it and thought of saying no or safe wording or making it a hard limit. But I'm Kurt's slave. I'm a slave. So he controls it. Period. But I have to tell you in all honesty, Brandon, that although the whole situation turns me on, there are sometimes when I absolutely hate it. Just like anything else in the scene."
"Well I pretty much really get into anything else and sometimes even that."
"Well, ask yourself, Brandon, how you'd feel if you set the limit and would never do it again. Would that work for you?"
"um..."
"don't answer now. Think about it. I think you'll find your answer there."
"thank you for your advice, Larry. It really helps.
"One further thing, however, Brandon."
"What's that?"
"don't forget that you consider yourself to be a slave and all the Doms who have used you consider you to be a urinal. So until you absolutely decide to take it off the list, be what they tell you are.."
"I guess it will be a big thing if I decide to stop it."
"Absolutely. So think carefully. And you can't keep changing your mind or they'll simply give up on you."
"Got it. Well thanks, Larry. I really appreciate it."
"Any time, kid. Please know you can call any time. Master always answers and decides when I can talk and when I can't.
"Well please thank Him as well for me."
"Certainly. Goodbye now, kiddo." "good-bye"