THE ALEX SERIES, BOOK 3: "Brandon's Bosses"
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Chapter 45. Friday with Michelle; Michael and Gary consider a few things.
By the time Michelle get there (3 pm as usual), Brandon is really tired and down in the dumps again. He tells her about what happened with Kelton but doesn't seem to want to speak about what happened last night.
"He was threatening me with that whipping post and I couldn't handle it. I was so terrified that he saw it in my eyes and immediately stopped everything that was happening and had the person making the recording leave. But I was so shocked and can't seem to shake it."
Brandon, I'm only going to say this once, but I want you to listen carefully: "You need to go back to see Dr. Susan."
"You think?"
"I do."
"Okay. I'll give a call after you leave. Oh damn, it's Friday afternoon. Probably too late this week."
"You can always leave a message. I'm sure she checks from time to time over a weekend."
"Okay."
"So go do it. I'll wait here. Go upstairs and call her."
He does, and then comes back downstairs.
"Hey, thanks, Michelle. Thanks for your honesty and thanks for helping me do it."
"That's what I'm here for, Brandon. Anything you need, the guys told me, not just what I have to do to get the story."
"So as for the story . . ."
"Brandon, can you recall any time up north when you were shocked and terrified?"
"Not that bad, Michelle."
"Less than that?"
"Oh, yeah, when I stumbled into those guys from that Delta frat. I didn't know what they were going to do to me once they made me take my clothes off."
"Anything else?"
"Oh sure. When Justin started screaming at me after I tried to safe word that last time he flogged me."
"What shocked you?"
"He wasn't the Justin I knew. It was like he was somebody else."
"Didn't it shock you that he ignored your safeword?"
"No, because I just tried cause it was hurting so much. He always told me that safewords didn't count when I was being punished."
"Was that always true?"
"Yes. Right from the beginning."
"And so it just went along that way?"
"Yes. And I was afraid a lot when he increased the number. Afraid, knowing it would be all pain, no turn-on."
"When was the last time you got turned on when you were being spanked or punished?"
"When Gavin did it. When Gavin does it always, I guess."
"Often?"
"no, haha. Only a couple times, I think.
"What's the difference?"
"Gavin is my friend. I know he pushes me, but it is always in a way that gets me turned on. I think he would stop if it wasn't."
"So Gavin wouldn't want to turn you off because he's your friend?"
"Yes."
"But Justin said he was in love with you. That's a lot more than just being a friend."
"But he lied. He told me he lied, finally."
"but you believed him when he said he loved you."
"Yes. He was very good to me back then, Michelle."
"Including the punishments?"
"Yes, including the . . . . . wait! No. His were more like what the Masters have been doing to me."
"Do the Masters say they love you?"
"No! Absolutely not! No emotion at all, although I kind of like Steven."
"So what do you conclude from this set of questions? Anything?"
"That someone who cared for me or loved me wouldn't hurt me more than I can handle."
"And Justin's punishments?"
"They went far beyond and I just accepted it."
"Why did you?"
"Because I figured that's the way it is. When slaves get punished it hurts an awful lot more than they can stand. Otherwise it wouldn't be punishment. Don't you punish your slaves, Michelle?"
"When they deserve it."
"Beyond their limits?"
"Very seldom, but yes, I have."
"So?"
"So I haven't said that I love them. I know that one of them is in love with me, and I tend to go easier on him because of that."
"Why easier?"
"Because I know that he will try to go farther and farther to prove his love for me and I don't want that."
"this is all very complicated, Michelle."
"Yes, indeed, Brandon. But please think about this whole question some more, especially in your own sexual activity either with the Masters or with other men."
"The Masters had me whipped!"
"Yes, they did."
"and they whipped me for something that wasn't even much of my fault?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I was in a panic when I did the thing that they punished me for."
"I see."
"but still it was the worst punishment ever, and when Kelton threatened to send me back to the whipping post, that's why I was so terrified."
"wow. Lots of stuff going on here, Brandon."
"Yes there is. No wonder I've been feeling so down the past couple of days."
Brandon, did you ever hear of the Novel Roots?
"No. What's it about?"
"It was about the experiences of the black slaves before the Civil War."
"Oh. Wow. Real slaves. Nothing like what we do."
"let me tell you a story I remember from reading those novels."
"Sure."
"Okay. Well one day something bad happened. I don't remember what, but I do remember that the Master picked out the slaveboy he was convinced had done it, and he gave him a severe thrashing in front of all the other slaves. But while he was thrashing the boy, one of his white helpers brought him a different boy, and said that he actually saw this boy doing it.
So the Master stopped thrashing the boy he'd been thrashing and let him go. But he never said a word to him about it. Not even "good boy," let along "I'm sorry" or anything like that. And that's what it was like to be a black slave back then on those Southern plantations."
"That's horrible! Those poor people!"
"Yes. It's a terrible chapter in our shameful history in this country."
"This is only make-believe compared to that."
"Is it? Are you sure? You were just severely punished for something that you don't really think you should have been punished for, that they should have understood. What's the difference between you and that black slave?"
"I've got to expect that things like that might happen to me from time to time because I'm a slave. But I can always put a stop to it. I can always just pick myself up and walk away from it. Give up playing the game."
"do you think it's all a big game?"
"No!"
"What about with Justin?"
"That was awful! That was just as bad as what happened to that poor black boy you were telling me about."
"could you have walked away from it then?"
"Not while I was tied down. But after I could have."
"But you didn't. In fact, you went upstairs to give Justin's friend a blow job while your body was still almost bleeding from the flogging Justin gave you. Instead of walking away, you just did what Justin ordered you to do, even though it wasn't something you wanted to do."
"Wow. I was that much under the spell of it all."
"Yes you were."
"But somehow I got out from under the spell, and then I did walk away."
"It took quite a while, it seems to me."
"Michelle, all this is really wearing me down. Can we just stop here?"
"Sure we can, Brandon. This has been very difficult and you're doing a very good job with it. And congratulations on making an appointment with Dr. Sue.
Brandon gets a text from Dr. Sue, offering him an appointment Monday at 1. He accepts.
"I'm all set with my appointment. Monday at 1. Oh shit! Damn! I did it again!!!!!"
"What, Brandon?"
"I called to make an appointment without asking the Masters for permission. I'm gonna get punished again."
"Brandon, stop!!!! I had you call to make the appointment. That counts as having their permission. I have the authority to give you that permission. Otherwise, I would have instructed you to ask for permission"
"You sure?"
Michelle chuckles. "Of course, I'm sure, you dear boy. Now let's call it a day."
Brandon walks Michelle to the door and sees that Gary and Michael are busy in the kitchen cooking something. He introduces Michelle to Gary before she leaves.
"That's the lady who's interviewing you?"
"Yes. Pretty, Isn't she?"
"Yeah for an older woman."
"How old do you think she is?"
Michael jumps in. "I'd say late thirties."
"Gee, I never gave it any thought. All I know is that she's really good at what she does. In fact, today she got me to talk about all sorts of stuff that I hate talking about and it was exhausting."
"Sounds like going to a shrink," says Gary.
"As if you have, dude!" Brandon snarls at him in a sarcastic way.
"Well you've done both, buddy. What's the difference?"
Brandon thinks for a while.
"Don't know right now. But I have an appointment with Dr. Sue on Monday so I'll let you know after."
"You do?" says Michael, surprised. "I thought you were done with that."
"Well, things are bothering me a lot the past few days, so Michelle thought it would be a good idea."
Gary looks concerned. "Brandon, we'll still be about half an hour, maybe 40 minutes here. Why don't you go take a nap and I'll come down to get you when everything is ready."
"Okay, Gary." And Brandon goes back downstairs.
Michael chuckles.
"What are you chuckling about?"
"I'm noticing a pattern."
"What pattern?"
"I've seen it a few times now. You make an suggestion for Brandon to do something, and he immediately says "okay" and goes to do it. something alone or something with you."
"Yeah. It's always been this way. Ever since second grade. I remember the time I convinced him I found shortcut home and we got lost in the woods and we both started crying, and someone heard us and came to get us. We were only a block from my house!"
"Oh, my. Even back then."
"What?"
"Gary, sometimes it seems like he's always been your slave, and it's just so easy and natural."
"so? Why shouldn't it be? We're best friends."
"Well that sure gives me a lot to think about."
"Really?"
"sure. About Oscar."
"What about Oscar."
"I'm thinking of asking him to take the chain off me. It's really annoying to wear and the lock is making my chest sore. I think I'll talk to him about that when he comes over for supper. Or after supper, I mean."
"Good. Please don't get us all involved in some sort of metaphysical conversation."
"Deal."
"Good. Now don't let that sauce boil over or you'll ruin it."
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