Chapter 20. The letter; utter humiliation up north.
This is what the whipped slave wrote in a primitive type of script and basic. I corrected a grammatical issues mainly.
"Matty, Matty, Matty, sorry, sorry, sorry so much having run away the way I did. I did it that way so that you'd get so mad at me that you'd give up loving me and be able to move on to find what you need. I have. That is why I am writing you this letter. My Master gave me the worst beating of my life today and then left me here kneeling on the ground and ordered me to write you a letter to apologize and explain what I couldn't say to you those last few months: I need this. It's the way I'm made. I cannot be happy any other way, and I cannot just give it up because you didn't like it any more. You and I played boss and brat, then Dom and sub, and it seemed to be going good until all of a sudden you just lost it all and couldn't do it any longer. I really really tried because I could see it was making you happy, but I just can't be what you want me to be. I'm not that. I can't be that. That makes me miserable and unhappy.
I was really lucky, Matty. I was at this gathering feeling shy and this man came up to me and started talking to me—he actually came to me so he could push another guy out of the way who had harassing me and couldn't understand the word `no.' So then he talked to me and calmed me down and wow, he moved right into that empty space within me and filled it up gently but quickly and before that night was over, I was naked on my knees with my wrists bound behind my back and looking up into his eyes and I realized I was home. Just like that.
Master insists that I put our address on the envelope so you won't always wonder where I ever ended up. Here I am.
The only reason I've been able to write you now is because I'm not guilty any more. The whipping Master gave me today drove all that guilt out. Sure, I'm sorry and I wish I had had the guts to explain all this to you when I was with you, but I didn't know how, because I didn't know what it would be like for me to be able to say that I have a Master who owns me.
I'm not allowed to have a phone so the only thing I could do was write to you so that's how this ended up happening. You don't owe me any response just because it would be polite. Thank you for loving me, Matty. I'm sorry it couldn't settle me down in the long run. It broke my heart when you said you wanted to be vanilla from now on. Now I can say that.
Just in case you want to see, Master is enclosing two photos from the punishment I got today in special envelopes that are hard to open so only open them if you really want to see, though I don' think you would.
Have a good life, if I don't ever hear from you again. You deserve one. Your love is an awesome thing. I hope you can find someone who will be able to receive all that awesomeness, better than I could."
NO (crossed out before he finished the name) Abel.
++++ he finishes the letter and folds it up to put in the envelope. But then he remembers that Master will read it before he allows it to be sent out, so he just puts everything down and waits there for Kelton to check in on him. He also chuckles as he says to himself, "wow. writing that while in pain from a whipping was quite an experience. The pain forced me to be honest."
When Kelton comes in and sees that NoName is finished, he takes the pages of the letter and reads them carefully. "This is the most humiliating thing of all," the slave thinks to itself. "there wasn't even a question that he would do that and without making a big deal out of it. It's just the way it is. He's taken all my freedom from me and all my secrets."
Kelton hands the letter back to him and gives him the packet with the photos inside, and stands over him while he gets everything into the envelope. The address and return address written in as well.
Kelton takes the envelope from the slave's hands and looks down to it. "You did a good thing," is all he said. then, `I'll help you stand up and I'll bring you to where you can lie on your tummy," and that is what he does.
It was very simple to him. "This boy needed to be a slave. Matty wouldn't do it. So now it's mine." He isn't ignoring all the details and flowerly images in addition to what he just read in the letter, but that's the bottom line. Just like in business: The boy is the product. Matty wouldn't buy it. Kelton did. Now Kelton owns it.
. . .
By the time Steven gets back to Gary's (he's calling it that even though Brandon owns the house. After all, the Master owns it all, right?) it's almost 3. Conor comes and kneels to greet him. Gary comes by and invites him to stay a while. Steven agrees, but says to Gary, "Do have anything you could feed to this boy?" he asks about Conor.
Brandon comes over and also kneels. "Go and get Conor something to eat and give it to him," Gary orders his slave and Brandon takes off for the kitchen, Conor itching to follow but Steven won't let him move. "I just spent a good amount of time watching a slave get the daylights whipped out of it and it made me very horny. Go get the food but then be ready to take me on. I'm not waiting until we get home. I'll do it again when we get home. Now scoot!" and he brushes against Conor` s face and Conor gets up to go to the kitchen. "Got something in the microwave for you, and it's really good. Go sit in the corner and I'll bring it to you," says Brandon. One naked boy giving orders to another naked boy. Conor's the lowest ranking, anyway. He goes to the corner, is tempted to say "I'm so hungry" to Brandon, but decides not to call attention to the way he was just humiliated.
Once it's ready and not too hot, Brandon brings the bowl to Conor, who dives in to this luscious bowl of noodles and mushrooms and onions and some special spices, unashamed to be eating almost like a dog except he's holding the bowl up to his face with his hands rather than bowing down to eat it. This is something he's been trained to do since he's been with Steven and it is standard behavior in this house. He knows that Gary makes Brandon do eat this way. He doesn't know about Michael.
Not long after Conor's finished with his food, he's on his knees with his Master's cock pumping his face and slowly making itself all the way into the slave's mouth while his hands are around its neck, feeling the activity until he pulls out. "All fours, bitch. Your spit will be my lube," and he gets behind the bending slave and rams himself into its ass while spanking anything he can get his hands on. Conor cries out "yours!" but then begins breathing very heavily from both the pounding its taking along with the blows from its Master's hands. It continues this way until its Master explodes inside of it and stops beating it as well. They both stay there panting and once they calm down Steven immediately orders Conor to go get something to clean him up with before tending to itself. Par for the course again.
While the debauched slave is kneeling before Steven and gently cleaning him off, Gary comes in with Brandon and says that Brandon will help Conor get cleaned up. Steven pulls his pants up (very little is private in this house) and right away Gary asks him, "So how was it? It got you hot, that's for sure!"
Steven laughs. "No kidding. What can I tell you, Gary, It was a very severe punishment. Strap to the ass, flogger to the back, more than you can possibly imagine. The slave howled and screamed, then cried and sobbed, and was bound down so tightly that it could hardly move through any of it. By the time Kelton got done, it was bleeding. He fed the blood to the slave—that's was gross as hell but also hot as hell, feeding the slave the blood it shed during a beating. And the same with the flogger and again Kelton whips hard as hell. Finally the slave begged for mercy and still Kelton kept going a while longer to help the slave realize that this was real punishment for something serious."
"That's an interesting idea, going beyond the safe word to show the slave how basically helpless it is no matter what," muses Gary. "But Brandon actually wants to feel helpless, he says, but I'm not sure how far I can push that."
"But if he's truly helpless, then you can push it as far as you like."
"Sure, Steven. shit! this is complicated stuff."
"that's why it's important to think about these things." Brandon brings Conor back into the room and Conor rushes to kneel at Steven's feet quite submissively because Steven obviously knocked it deeply into subspace. "We're going home, Conor. Go to the door and wait for me." and Conor goes off, still crawling and then squats by the door.
Once they're in the car, Steven asks "anything you wish to tell me about what happened with you and that other slave who? Oh yes, NoName last night?"
"the sniffing had me really feeling like a dog. and it made me feel even more like just a worthless slave when I had to drink the other Master's piss and clean his ass and NoName did the same to you."nothing interesting about the chat. just more about our backgrounds. and it was curious about how I got here. Everyone also wants to hear about that story again."
"As my slave, you will be serving a great many men in a great many ways, simply for my own entertainment. Your body is an open sewer, bitch. Nothing honorable about it at all. And to drive that point home, You're getting thrashed when we get there."
Conor, of course, was expecting this considering what his Master had been witnessing today. He just hopes and prays that it won't be a serious as what he heard about.
"I am your slave, Master. Please, beat me as you wish. And this slave understands that it is an unlimited slut when you want it to be."
Steven always loves the way Conor talks and thinks that yes, college is in its near future. He'll have to talk to Brandon and Michael to find out what can be expected and how it can maintain its self-identity as a slave among all those free boys.
Soon after arriving home, Conor is on its knees, hands tied behind its back, legs spread, and Steven is kicking it in the balls and slapping its face if it bends over, and this continues for a good long time, until at last Conor is beginning to cry out with wet eyes. "There! That should help you remember what you are. Now make us some coffee and bring it inside. I'm gonna watch a movie. You can take care of my feet while I'm watching."
Up North
That same afternoon, Austin has a nasty "surprise" in store for dan. He cooked it up this morning with one of his gay cousins who is wise to the scene and who is a really sloppy housekeeper. After lunch he orders dan to throw on a jock, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt because he's taking it so his cousin can view it. When they leave the house to get in the car, dan is still barefoot. Should he say something? Or is this deliberate? He's not sure until Austin says to him, "I know you're barefoot. No need to anything else. I'm just going to visit family. the only reason I let you put on clothes was so we didn't embarrass him with his neighbors, and as soon as we get in the door I expect you stripped and kneeling."
"yes, Master." dan got some sweet attention from Austin this morning and it helped take away the fear that all of that was out of the picture now and he was just a slave all the time. Wasn't sure he'd be able to handle that, and they got to talk about it as they were cuddling in bed in the morning after their showers. Yes, they're still friends. But it is always up to Austin to decide when and where that happens. He can handle that.
They pull up to cousin Joe's and a big dog comes up to greet dan as he gets out of the car. Fortunately, dan is good with dogs and he and the dog quickly make friends. It's a great Dane. Fantastic protection for Joe now that he's living alone again after the last boyfriend bailed out two weeks ago.
Joe comes out from the side of the house and throws himself into Austin's arms weeping. Austin holds him and talks gently to him and eventually they walk into the house and Joe calls the dog and dan follows behind as well. As instructed, he strips immediately and kneels down.
"wow. You sure converted this faggot. I used to see him strutting around at under 21 nights looking for some dude to screw. Big change. What did you name him?"
"Its name is dan."
"Its," repeats Joe. "I get it."
"Hey Joe, you got an extra dog collar?"
"I have a whole bunch. Come in here." He brings Austin to a little closet in the kitchen, and there is all sort of dog paraphernalia in there. Austin calls dan to come. Dan comes in and kneels down by Austin, who tries on a few dog collars and finds one that he likes, a black one with spikes sticking out. "You'll wear that today," he tells the slave. "Not just today," says Joe, "Keep it, dude."
Now comes the surprise. "So!!!!! I want to hang with my cousin here, so I brought you here, slave, to clean his house. Yeah, I know he's a slob. Start by putting things away and vacuuming the rugs. Make Joe's bed also. Be a good houseboy, dan, and maybe I won't have to spank you in front of my cousin. Now get the fuck to work!"
dan shuts his eyes, trying to soak up the meaning of those words and then suddenly crushed about how he was being humiliated in front of Joe, who he knew from the club. Then he opens his eyes and starts to look around and begins by putting dirty dishes in the sink.
Joe pulls out a couple beers, and the guys decide to take them outside along with the dog, leaving the naked houseboy inside to do the work. Austin goes in a couple times to check on what the slave is doing and swats its ass as more incentive.
. . .
Meanwhile, Justin has been seen at the Club lately just walking around talking to people but not getting into any scenes. As usual subs are throwing themselves at him but Justin politely directs them elsewhere. It seems he's been keeping his eyes on a fellow name Darryl, a bit older than him but looking a lot younger. No one is absolutely sure what Darryl is into because he doesn't join in any of the activities and is more interested just hanging out and talking to single guys, mostly subs, but that's because there are always more subs then Doms. It's not known whether he ever took anyone home with him so that makes it even a bit more puzzling.
Darryl knows that Justin keeps checking him out and he just bides his time.
Finally, it's time. Daryll approaches Justin and offers him to sit for a chat at the juice bar. "I've seen you noticing me for a couple weeks but not approaching. Is there something about me that intimidates you? From what I understand you have quite the reputation for generally taking charge of subs. I have heard that you even broke in a freshman last year but that he got away from you and moved out of state. So anyway, what gives? What is it about me that both attracts you and frightens you away?"
"Wow. You covered an awful lot in just a couple sentences."
"Well start with the last question first. What attracts you and frightens you away?"
"I find you very attractive, Darryl, and that says a lot because I've been quite dull since the summer and haven't had much interest even in the subs I've worked over here. But I wouldn't want to work you over and that's what freaks me out a bit."
"What shut you off?"
"Screwing up a boy I loved and driving him away."
"You take a lot of blame for what happened. Just an observation. But the second part of my question, Justin, what's been keeping you away?"
"Same reason. You've very attractive to me, and not the way I'm usually attracted."
"Explain more fully please, guy."
"I don't want to Dom you. I don't want to take you under my wing. I'm not really sure what side you're on."
"What do you want to do with me, Justin?
"Get to know you better. And this really surprises me, but I find myself wishing you would kiss me, not the other way around."
"that's a good thing, dude. Because I lead. I don't get led. But since you are wishing for a kiss, I'll be happy to kiss you. It will help you make better sense of things as well. So lean over here with that hot mouth of yours and offer it to me so I can explore it."
Justin is mystified. Why did that just turn him on so much? Why does Darryl make it sound like he's surrendering his whole body to him? Anyway, he hastens to please Darryl (another surprise!) so really does offer his mouth to this mysterious man, and for the first time in a very long time, he feels his mouth being invaded by Darryl's tongue and almost drowned in flowing saliva as Darryl inspects the territory with his mouth and then even brings up his thumb and continues his exploration with tongue and thumb and then two fingers as Darryl's mouth withdraws, and then three while Darryl puts his other hand behind Justin's neck as he continues to fuck Justin's mouth with his fingers.
Justin is hard as a rock. No one has ever dared touch him the way Darryl is touching him, nor has he ever let a man wrap his hand around his neck as Darryl is now doing without adding any pressure. All the pressure is in Justin's mind.
"I think that is all for tonight, guy. I'm not going to ruin your reputation here, not just yet. Go home and think things over about what just happened. Don't jerk off either. Just stay with your feelings and think about them. I'll see you again one of these nights and I'll enjoy hearing what you have to tell me. Remember what I just said: don't jerk off. That will cheapen the experience." And with that, he bows to Justin and leaves the club while Justin stands there trying to figure out what just happened. No sense staying any longer. All desire to dominate someone is gone. He goes home and actually sleeps in his flannel boxers, thinking that will remind him not to touch himself. Just because Darryl gave him that command.
END OF CHAPTER TWENTY
PLEASE WRITE ME, dammit. Let me know you're still interested in this story so I'll keep posting it.
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