Breaking Ethan 12 : Reunited by Bus Pender
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This is a work of gay fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely unintentional. This text deals with sexual relations between two men. If you find this offensive, if you are underage or if possession of this text is illegal in your area, please leave now. This story is not intended to promote any action on the part of the reader. It is merely a fantasy and I hope you appreciate it as such.
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We drove in silence for a good five minutes, and then both broke it at the same time. It kind of sounded like "so why did you .. " and "how did Ethan .." spoken simultaneously. We each stopped abruptly, had a quick chuckle and then Zach spoke again.
"Mark, how badly did Ethan react?"
"Well, let's put it this way, he used the word `fuck'. Twice."
"That's bad."
"Yup. He accused me of a lot of things, said I didn't know anything or care about anything except myself. Kind of true. Told me to leave. Told me in so many words that he wanted time to himself. Without me."
"Oh."
Zach paused before continuing.
"Mark, what's your relationship with Ethan, are you his boyfriend?" he asked.
I sighed.
"Yeah, we're kind of together. Or WERE. I'm not sure how to describe it Zach, it's complicated. We're intimate, very intimate, and we're really close friends. But there's more to it than that. I don't think I could say more without knowing that Ethan was okay with me talking about it."
"Fair enough."
"But that's all shot to shit now, we're taking a "break", I won't be seeing him for another month, his decision."
"Sounds serious."
"It is. But maybe it's for the better. It gives me some time to reflect. And him too. Turn right at the lights."
Zach made the turn. He seemed lost in thought. He looked dreamy when he was lost in thought. I started to become enamoured with him again. He had such a lovely manly way about him. And a great profile, softly rugged. A bit twisted, mmmm. I pulled myself together and focused on where we were going. We stopped at a red light.
"Zach, why did you come back? You were heading home when I left you, what happened?"
He gripped the steering wheel and sighed.
"Ya know Mark, sometimes the universe conspires against us, or just plays us for a fool."
"YUP!"
The light changed but Zach didn't move forward, we just kind of stayed there and he stared blankly ahead. Someone leaned on their horn behind us, Zach snapped out of it and advanced.
"I lost my job last month."
"Oh."
"Yeah, the plant was downsizing and middle management was the first to go. Two weeks' pay and `best of luck' is all I've got to show for my years there. That's why I've been able to take this time and visit Ethan. I didn't tell him, didn't want him to worry. I'm not even sure why I'm telling you."
"You'll find something else, Zach."
"Oh sure, something'll come up. But it's got me thinking. Especially being here with Ethan these last few days. It's been wonderful spending time with him, makes me realize time is flying by. And I'm really not sure what I want to do."
Silence.
"And then to top it all off, you come into the picture .."
"Look Zach, about that, I feel really badly. I have a problem with impulse control, I swear to god I didn't want to mess things up for you or for Ethan. I just .."
"No, Mark, you don't understand. What happened in the car, with you, I never experienced anything like that before. Mark, no one EVER paid attention to my body the way you did. You went over every square inch of me, turned me on like a goddamn neon sign, made me feel alive and energized everywhere. I never felt that way, didn't know it was possible. I haven't been able to think about anything else since. I know it's wrong, I feel like I've betrayed Ethan, actually I KNOW I've betrayed Ethan, obviously. And there's a part of me that doesn't care. Goddamn."
"Zach, what the fuck, you're straight, snap out of it."
"I know. I love women. I've just never had much luck with them, and I've never had a sexual experience remotely like what you gave me today. And then you go and take off so fast, just disappeared into the night, I didn't think I'd ever see you again."
We drove in silence.
"So I got on the highway, knowing I had no job to go back to. Knowing that I was driving away from the person I care most about in this world. And leaving behind a vivid memory of the most intense sexual encounter of my life. The further I drove, the more ridiculous it seemed for me to continue. I got off at the first exit and backtracked. I didn't know what exactly I was doing, what to expect. But here I am."
"And here WE are, that's my place on the right."
Zach pulled up in front of the building and turned off the engine. We sat in silence, kind of like we had a couple of hours prior.
"Zach, what do you want?"
He gripped the steering wheel again.
"I don't know, I don't know. I'm so confused. And now Ethan's probably not talking to me, maybe I shouldn't have turned around. There's still time for me to head out."
"Zach, he likely needs you more than ever. If you leave now you'll get back to his place in no time. You two can hash it out."
"I'm not ready to face him right now, Mark. I wouldn't know what to say, I feel so torn and confused."
He looked over at me.
"Mark, can I stay with you tonight? I need a bit of time to think things through before I see Ethan."
"I don't think that's a very good idea, Zach. In fact I KNOW it's a BAD idea. If you stayed here, Ethan WOULD find out, and he'd be livid, more than he is already. Really, it would just make matters a whole lot worse."
"Maybe you're right. I don't want to add complications to your life, you've had enough happen already."
"It's not about me, Zach. Well, actually it is, it's always about me. But I really think you need to go see Ethan. He needs you, you'll be a comfort to him."
"I WILL go see him, but not tonight. It's too fresh. For him, and for me. If you don't want me here, I understand, I'll get a room somewhere. I need this bit of time to reflect on things."
He started the engine. I switched it off.
"The fuck you will. If you're set on waiting to see him, you may as well stay here, you can have the couch. I'm not gonna have you be alone in a room at butt-fuck motel, drowning in your own guilt and feeling all sorry for yourself. But this is not a good idea, Zach, repeat, NOT A GOOD IDEA. Don't say I didn't warn you."
He looked over at me wryly.
"I'm good at couches. Thanks Mark, you're a real pal."
"Shut the fuck up and grab your stuff," I snapped.
He grinned and reached back to get his bag. We made our way into the building and upstairs. It must have seemed a lot more sombre to him than Ethan's place. No warm, homey entrance. No Mrs Dremel to greet us. Just the dark silence of my apartment as we opened the door and shuffled in.