Chapter 40.
I did manage to sleep somehow, but before I fell asleep I was thinking that locked up here in this cage, I am at the most powerless point in my entire life. And only Bobby can set me free. I think that was the last thought on my mind when I fell asleep curled up on my side because the cage was to small for me to stretch out my legs.
Half-awake, I sense Bobby getting out of bed and going to brush his teeth. Nothing I can do. No way I can get free from this cage by myself. No idea when Bobby will unlock the door. If he really wants to, he could just keep me here for the entire day or even longer and it terrifies me.
Bobby comes over to the cage and stands over it looking down at me. "I own you," he says, "I have taken away all your freedom and all your power. You will remain there helpless until I decide to let you out for a while." He's naked and I can see that he is rock hard. I open my mouth wide and put it up against the bars of the cage while Bobby is watching.
"So you give me a sign of even deeper submission," he tells me. "The next time I'll have to make sure your mouth is tightly bound as well." He leans down and sticks two fingers in my open mouth and explores it with them. Then he tries to force them all the way down my throat. I start gagging. He keeps his fingers right there at the gagging spot and tears are coming out of my eyes. He takes them out and then spits right into my mouth. I close it to swallow.
"Enough. I'm unlocking the door. You can push your way out." I have to use my legs to push the door open and it's the first time they've been out straight since last night. There's aching. Lots of discomfort as I struggle to get out of that fucking thing, and I'm getting pissed at it. He kept me trapped but he couldn't trap my emotions and they're raging now as I get free from the confinement.
I'm pissed. I'm really fucking pissed. Bobby reaches down to help me get all the way out and I scream at him, "Don't fucking touch me!" and manage to get out on my own, but damn, It feels so weird to move around and I can only do a little of it at a time. The anger turns to tears of relief and I try but I can't hide them from him.
"That's right, boy, just the way I wanted you. Weeping makes you always look more adorable than ever and it makes me love you."
Hey, wait! There's something wrong with what he just said. What the fuck? Weeping makes him love me? How about if I don't weep? How about if I don't wanna be a slave any more? Damn, I'd still love him, maybe even more, but would he still love me?
"RED!" I call out. Three times.
Bobby looks puzzled. "What the fuck? What's that all about? What's red, boy?"
"Everything. Everything RED right now. Everything stops." I might end up regretting saying this, but so what? It's how I'm reacting to everything. "RED to trying to reduce my humanity, my being. RED to thinking you really are my Master and I really am your slave. No! NO! NO! I quit it all."
Bobby turns around and walks away. He actually leaves the bedroom. I start massaging my arms one side at a time. Eventually I can sit up, then stand. I take a couple steps and everything's okay. I go to his drawers and pull out boxers and a t-shirt. I put them on. I raise my hands and try to tear off my collar but then I remember that Bobby is the only one who can unlock it.
My mind echoes itself: "Bobby is the only one. Bobby is the only one. Bobby is the only one." Wait. Really? How do I know that? Did I make it up? Why am I so in love with him? Damn it, I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I just put on some underwear. Fuck!
Bobby comes in and looks at me standing there dressed and looking angry. He takes a key and shows it to me. "If you pull down your boxers I'll take off the cage," he says, and right away I do so. He quickly unlocks the cage and gets it off me. I can tell I smell down there. I pull the boxers back up hiding my shriveled up dick. "If you turn around I'll remove the collar or you and just keep it on. Whatever you want."
What should I do? Wow. If it comes off me there's a sure chance that it will never be back on me again. He once told me that if I ever back off on anything, he'll be done with me. But he told me he loves me and now I'm testing that.
Shit. I'm going all the way. See this streak of independence through and see where it leads me. I turn around. Bobby's breathing is very steady. It's telling me nothing about how he's reacting. He unlocks the cage and takes it off me. I try not to focus on what that means and just concentrate on massaging my neck where the collar was on for so long.
"Take whatever you want to wear home," he tells me, and then walks out of the room again. I look in the laundry bin, but then remember that I had stripped in the car last night so all of my own stuff is locked in his car. I assume he's within ear shot and I call out, "My clothes are in the car," and wait to see what happens. Meanwhile I start looking through the pile of dirty clothes he always has lying on the floor in the corner. Before long, he's back. He drops my stuff on the bed.
Good. I strip off his clothes that I'd been wearing and just put my own on and the flip flops. Bobby watches me and I hate it that he can see me naked this way—totally naked. No cage, no collar, no idea what the fuck I'm doing to the man I say I love.
"The limo is waiting, ready to take you back to your father's, assuming that's where you want to go. If not, just tell him and he'll take you where you ask him to." His voice is just neutral, as if he were speaking to any of his classmates. I guess that's at least still what we are now: classmates. I deliberately destroyed it all. I was waiting to hear him say, "I'm done," but he didn't. I have no idea where I'm at.
When we get to Dad's house. He's not around; only my car is in the driveway. I'm glad it only takes my fingerprint to unlock the front door. I go inside and look for something to eat. Thank God Dad likes fresh fruit. I have an apple and a banana, then look in the fridge and there's orange juice. With pulp! My Dad is so cool.
Next: a shower. A long, very warm, very soapy shower to wash off the yuck from me, at least as much as I can imagine is getting washed away. Then I realize that I can't wash it all away because I'm still in love with Bobby and probably always will be. I end up weeping as I stand there in the shower until the hot water gives out.
I luxuriate in a big fluffy, bath towel, making up for the way he made me stand there and drip dry while he was whipping me. Whipping me. Whipping me. Fuck! I still want that. Just maybe not from him the next time. Maybe at the club. Or maybe a club far from here. But right now: a nap. It feels so good to slip between fresh clean sheets and feel them up against my clean free body. I reach down and realize that I can hold my cock now, jerk off even. Nah. Save that for later maybe. I quickly fall asleep.
I dream of Tyler standing there, looking into my eyes and I can't escape his. Energy flows from him to me and I ask him what he is giving me. "What you need, faggot, what you need." That's all he will tell me. Oh, I want so badly to fall at his feet! But he doesn't allow me to move. Once again, I realize, I'm powerless. Suddenly it seems like Tyler is singing something to me on light breaths of air, but eventually I can understand that he's whispering something to my inner slave. Three sounds barely distinguishable from one another, like three heavily breathed vowels. What do they say? Slowly they become more clear. Tyler is whispering so something buried deeply within me: "You are ours! And then he fades away and somehow I end up locked in a cage again.
When I finally awaken, I'm surprised I can reach out my arm. I'm surprised I'm not locked in the cage again. I check the clock. 9 pm.
----back at Bobby's. The author narrates.
Bobby and Tyler were texting furiously to each other.
T: Damn, Bobby, it's so fucking obvious: being that cage really fucks the kid up. Again he's running.
B: I did nothing to stop him. Even when I had to unlock the collar. I shouldn't have done that.
T: Don't do that to yourself, dude. He wanted to take charge of his life and you let him go as far as he wanted to go. It freaks me that he went so far. But I guess he needs what's happening. He thinks he's making it happen.
B: It sure feels that way to me, Tyler. He's quitting hard and sure. Zilch. Nada. Out.
T: Dude, that's not possible. He can't get out. He can't escape who he is. What he is.
B: Maybe we've both been wrong about him. Maybe he's got a different destiny. Maybe he's not meant to be a slave.
T: Maybe not, but I have more trust in the process than you do. I see it this way, pal: He sees what he's becoming. For some reason, being in the cage rattles him so much that he refuses to surrender at all now and claims total freedom, or at least that's what it seems like to him. But he can't live in total freedom. He'll perish. Total freedom for him is like some alien planet where the atmosphere is so gaseous that it will eat him alive starting with his lungs.
B: Not too sci-fi, are you bro! (Chuckles) But you really think he can't make it?
T: Totally. Take it from me, bro: Just let the leash be as long he needs it to be. Let him explore whatever he wants to explore. Let him learn what he needs to learn. It will work itself out. If nothing else, his masochism will end up betraying him.
B: Once a painpig, always a painpig. Is that what you're saying?
T: Precisely. I've gotta go now. Be calm, Bro. Ride the waves. They'll eventually bring that twink slave back to shore at your feet if that's where it truly belongs.
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Here are the other stories I have posted, with the dates where you can find them:
The first five should be read in order:
The Alex Chronicles 9/25/2022 Sweet Subjugation 1/15/2023 Brandon's Bosses 4/3/2023 Brandon's Brothers 5/19/2023 Total Subjugation 5/25/2023
These stories are stand-alone
Tommy Loves His Sub 8/17/2023 Training Toby 12/31/2023 Breaking Me In (in progress)