Chapter 42.
(Note to reader: There is absolutely no stroke material in this chapter, but it really helps move the story along. Two new characters are added.)
I managed to pull myself together enough to make it to my 1:30 class, but I forgot to put the fake collar on when I left the house. Shit. Too many questions as the other people in my class looked surprised to see the flesh of my neck. Chris, the one guy who I felt could be a friend of mine, did a double-take when he saw me and asked quietly what was going on and were congratulations in order.
I was still quite hoarse and just whispered, "Can't talk about it now." "After class? Got time for coffee?" I agreed. Hey, if I was a free man now, I could make all the friends I wanted. I realized that I haven't been involved at all in the usual social interactions that take place on a college campus. From the time I first came under Bobby's spell, I was inferior to everyone and my social outlets were restricted. It's almost Thanksgiving and this would be the first time I ever hung out with another guy from my class without there being any kind of sexual or D/s dynamic involved. I reminded myself to be careful not to say "Sir" when talking to Chris.
We left the classroom and walked out of the building. I suggested we go to the coffee house a little off campus. I figured there was less chance of my running into anyone who'd seen me naked, or anyone I'd serviced. As Chris and I walked to the Java Hut, we talked a little about what had been going on in class, and the girl named Janice who dominated the discussion that period. I usually gave her a run for her money, but I was so damn hoarse that it was no use. I just let her do her thing. She didn't annoy me as much as some of the guys in class were. In fact, I thought she was pretty sharp. I tended to agree with most of the points she made.
We made it to the Hut. I got a cool, smooth drink, hoping it would help soothe my throat. I also got a cinnamon coffee roll, the first thing I had to eat all day. "So dude, you look washed out, if you don't mind me saying," Chris noted.
"Yeah, I know. Had a rough time the past few days and haven't been getting enough sleep."
"Listen, buddy, I'll be straight with you. Oops! Pardon my use of the word `straight." We both chuckled. "anyway," he continued, "I've heard some of the talk going on about you and I just want you to know that I'm on your side, whatever that might mean. I don't want to give you any grief, but I want you to know you can talk to me about anything at all and I'll be okay hearing it."
I decided to be up front with him and fuck whatever might happen. I ran my hand around my neck. "So, there's been a big change lately. I was involved in something pretty heavy and finally decided I wanted out. That's why the collar's gone. The dude I was with took it off me, at my request."
"Why didn't you just take it off yourself?" he asked.
"I couldn't. It was locked and he had the only key. It was his decision to take it off me, but I was relieved. Another step on my path to freedom. I mean, I'm still gay and I'm still damn submissive, but I need some fresh air. I needed to get out from underneath a whole pile of crap about who or what I am."
"They were saying that you were some guy's slave. That's heavy. And now the collar's off, so I guess you quit whatever it was you were doing."
"It's all true, Chris. Can we just hold it there for now and not talk about it any further?"
"Sure. I told you. I'm open to whatever you want to share with me, no matter how much or how little. I admit I'm very curious about some things, but I'm also patient and I certainly wouldn't push you right now considering the shape you're in."
"thanks, Chris, I really appreciate it. The last thing I need right now is anybody putting me under any kind of pressure. So anyway, tell me about yourself. I figure we must have something in common, considering the way you've been with me."
Chris starts to blush. "Well yes, ...um...I'm like you in some ways. I, I ...I like guys, but . . . "
"But? . . .
". . . But I haven't done much at all. Never anyone to do anything with where I come from. Small town. Very Christian. Sports-oriented culture. In fact, I'm one of the few guys in my high school class who's in college now. If it weren't for the Internet, I'd still think I was the only person in the world like me. it's a mill town and there's a lot of farming as well, and most of the guys just went to work as soon as they graduated."
"It must be such an awesome relief, being here now, I suppose."
"It is, really. I've gone to a couple of the GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) meetings, so I'm trying to spread myself around a bit, but nothing like I heard you were doing. Damn, all I want is just one guy to help me get started---and please, believe me, I'm not hinting at anything with you. I know you're so much farther into it. Tell me, is it true that you go to a club and walk around naked and . . .and . . ."
"and suck cocks all night? Yes. that's been true. it's definitely not the kind of place you'd want to go to right now. Maybe even not ever." "I heard there are a couple of bars or clubs that guys like me hang out. I'd like to try them out but I don't have a car here."
At that point I know I have to make a decision. Am I willing to spend time in the vanilla world? Maybe I could bring Chris . . . Shit! I'm gonna go for it. "Chris, if you're really interested in going to one of those clubs, I'll be happy to take you. I'll keep an eye out for you. And if you meet someone you want to go home with, that'll be fine. You could always text me if you need a ride or something. If I end up with anyone, which I highly doubt, I'll just give you my car keys and find my own way back to your dorm."
"You'd do that for me?!!! Wow! That would be so cool."
We make arrangements to go to the most active club, the "Alexander Club," the following night. I check it out on-line. Looks pretty nice. Private parking lot. Security. Several different rooms, each with a slightly different focus. The kinkiest room of all is just one with lots of couches and a screen showing non-stop porn (which I imagine would even be vanilla). There's also a "Western Room," an "elegant room," a "football room," and a steam room-shower room area as well.
Hmmm. Interesting. Far more interesting than the club I go to which is just one big stark room with all sorts of private-type alcoves and lots of toys which can be rented, (all guaranteed disinfected). I know all about that. I've been on the receiving end of many of them. You know what? I'm glad I decided to do this for Chris. I'll get to see a lot of things I've never seen before myself. I being to wonder if I'll even hook up with anyone. Probably not. But that's fine. I need a break.
When we leave the Hut, Chris and I go our separate ways. it's better for him. I attract guys who are reacting in one way or another to the rumors they've heard about me, and some can get quite belligerent about it. It wasn't too bad coming here, but Chris will be better off without being seen with me. Besides, he was planning to go to the Library after we were done talking.
I head off to my car which I parked in a different lot than my usual one because Bobby is somewhere on campus and I really want to avoid running into him. On the way there, who do I run into but Janice, who looks a bit uncomfortable to see me. "Janice," I say. "How nice to run into you outside of class. I like what you said in class today. Most of the time I tend to agree with your viewpoints about things."
She looks relieved. "Oh wow, thanks for telling me that. I was wondering."
"Well, we `weirdos' have to look out for one another," I quip, meaning what I'm saying to her.
She sticks out her tongue at me. "Hey gayboy, you have me beat in the weird department by miles," she says, laughing.
"Yeah, but I took off the uniform," I say, gesturing to my neck.
"I noticed. Is it okay if I ask you what's going on about that? Sorry for prying too much if it offends you."
"No offence at all. Janice. I was in a Master/slave relationship with another guy but something happened and I decided I didn't want any of it any longer. So I'm free from him now. But it's unsettling. I've got a lot to figure out."
"Well, if you ever need a female sounding board, feel free," she offers. We pass a bench (how convenient is that!) and decide to sit down and chat a bit more.
"The thing is that I like wild sex a whole lot and I'm not sure I can give it up."
"Hey, if that's what you like, I don't understand why you would want to give it up, as long as you're not putting yourself in any great danger. I know a couple girls into that kind of stuff and they seem to do fine. They told me that they all look out for one another."
"I want to give it up because . . . . . . " and here I have to pause to think. Janice sits there patiently, an understanding look on her face, giving me all the room I need to think. It takes me a while to speak and when I begin speaking I'm kind of surprised at what I end up saying. "I want to give it up because . . . I guess I haven't figured out the relationship part of it all. I mean, I was in a relationship as, um, a `slave' to this awesome guy I was falling in love with, but it got too deep, I guess." All of a sudden a light went on. "Oh, I know!!!! I want the activity but not when it ends up getting tied to another Dom in a personal way. Shit. does that make any sense?"
Janice giggles a bit. "Excuse me, that wasn't because of what you were telling me. I giggles because I came up with a funny little explanation. `You want to play, but you don't want to stay."
And with that I start laughing my head off. "Damn, girl, you've got this!"
I start thinking again. "Uh-oh," she says. "Where's your head taking you now?"
"It's just that a lot of other guys into the scene have seen me, um, .'in action,' so to speak and now see me as some kind of quitter. One guy even called me a heartbreaker' because I hurt the guy who was, um, training' me to be his slave, no only the fact that I quit, but the way I did it. It really sucks. I went there last night, to this club we all hang out at, and a couple of the Doms there decided I needed to be punished for what I did, and they did a number on me."
"Couldn't you just have stopped it or even left the place?" she asks, trying to follow my thought.
Wow. This girl really makes me think. . . . . . SHIT! Why didn't I realize this? "You know something, Janice, the sad truth of it all is that I guess I could have put a stop to it. Even when I was bound. I could have shouted a safe word and they would stop. If they didn't stop, others there would make them. That's why it's good to do this stuff in public places."
"So you could have stopped it but you didn't. Why not?" More thought. I speak very slowly, . . . . . "partly becau se I've really gotten used to just surrendering to what a Master wanted to so to me . . . . . and partly because I felt I really needed to be punished for what I did."
"Oh my, that's heavy. Maybe too psychological for me at this point, my friend. "It sounds like you're thinking is getting closer and closer to the truth, whatever that means," she says. "Yeah. I think I need to spend some time alone now," I tell her. "Would you mind if we . .. "
". . . No, not at all. But hey, let's exchange our phone numbers. You can always text me if you need anything."
We do so. Then we give each other a light hug and part ways. I'm in deep thought as I get to my car.
The first thing I do when I get back to my bedroom is take the pictures of Bobby and Tyler and put them in a drawer. Only then do I strip naked before getting into bed.
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Here are the other stories I have posted, with the dates where you can find them:
The first five should be read in order:
The Alex Chronicles 9/25/2022 Sweet Subjugation 1/15/2023 Brandon's Bosses 4/3/2023 Brandon's Brothers 5/19/2023 Total Subjugation 5/25/2023
These stories are stand-alone
Tommy Loves His Sub 8/17/2023 Training Toby 12/31/2023 Breaking Me In (in progress)