Chapter 50.
Things are getting jumbled up, but that's the way my mind was; a lot was happening all at once. On the way to school, Bobby told me that Dave would be coming over tonight so I should get myself ready as soon as we got back. Then that conversation with Larry. It's always good to know that guys in our community tend to look out for each other when we have friends we can honestly be ourselves with.
My morning classes were good today and helped me get my mind off things. I was feeling a little shaky about what's going to be happening, so I took a walk so I could think things over. Bobby keeps telling me that he doesn't want to turn me into some robot automatically obeying every command with giving things and thought. So, I need to think.
Bobby's last command to me this morning was to "get yourself ready." Ready for David, I assume. But I have no idea what he's going to do, and I assume things will change a little because Bobby will be present observing, because this is the first time he's he wants to decide if he'll keep giving David access to me.
Holy shit! Look at what I just thought to myself: it shows how I'm seeing things. Bobby decided whether or not to give David access to me. "Give David access to me!" Bobby owns me and I'm really feeling it lately to be able to think that way. Bobby opens or shuts the gate to my body and my obedience to other men. He decides, not me.
I have to remember that when guys keep asking me to do stuff, that they have to go to Bobby and not to me. Some of them have a hard time wrapping their heads around that. I mentioned that to Bobby once and he told me that he's glad they have a hard time. If they can't handle that, then they're not going to understand what's going on. He tells me it's kind of a test.
One of the really alpha guys in my English class, Brendan, is mystified by the collar around my neck and has a lot of questions. Today he was pretty blunt: "So if I order you to suck my cock, you're going to get down on your knees and do it anytime and anywhere I want?"
"No," I answered. "You have to go to Bobby and tell him you want me to suck you off. He'll probably say yes, but he likes to keep track of those things. Besides, if you're not satisfied with the way I suck your cock, you can always go back to Bobby to complain. He'll probably take it out on my ass."
"No shittin'!"
"Nope. So go ask Bobby to use my mouth, Brendan. You're a nice guy. I'd really like to get to give pleasure to your dick." He pats me on the back and walks away talking to himself.
I guess this will get around as well. I'll be relieved because it will really get me off the hook. If I let Bobby know I'm thinking yellow about it, he'll take care of the guy. Not my fault. They don't have anything to take out on me because of the refusal.
So anyway, I'm thinking like this. Bobby told me to get ready for David, but I don't know what David is going to want. So then, "getting ready," means getting myself into a totally submissive mind-set, knowing that I have no reason to fear anything. And that makes it so much easier, because I've already discovered that fear blocks any desire to submit, even to Bobby. I can slut around in safety, as long as Bobby's the one who gets to decide that that sluttery is going to mean.
Sluttery. Cool. I'm making up my own language. Tonight I'm Bobby's slave. Tonight, I submit to David as Bobby's slave. Tonight I kind of become David's slave, and that's fine with me cause he's a nice guy, and no matter what, I'm safe. Bobby and I already went over that ground before, about feeling safe and what it means (and what it doesn't mean: feeling safe doesn't meant that it's cool for me to go and do something without Bobby's permission. I actually have very little right to privacy. Some days I'm sure Bobby must get annoyed with all the texts I send him, but he always answers pretty quickly—I'm surprised his job lets him do that, but he works with another Dom, so they're a general understanding about these things. Interesting: He's never given me to his co-worker Dom yet. Oh well. Bobby knows best.
So that settles it. Bobby has decided that I will become David's slave for whatever he wants, and if things get too crazy, then Boddy will step in. No problem there. I know from experience that David will pretty much tell me what he wants to do. He's a damn mean spanker, I already know that. But I'm a damn lot still sore. I hope he has other things in his repertoire.
He's at lunch—David, that is. He sees me in line and waves me over. He's at a table for four and two of his friends are with him. Uh-oh. Do they know?
When I get to the table he says "Why don't you sit down here and join us. We only got our food a little before you. Chuck and Bryan, this is the guy I told you about. My friend from English class. We're gonna get together tonight to compare notes for a test tomorrow." Bullshit, but I guess that means that they don't really have any idea what will be going on, or what's already been going on. So, I just play it cool. Every fag learns how to do that at a young age. Otherwise he'd be sent off to a conversion concentration camp or have to deal with a whole mountain of trouble. We gays, we're the best actors of all. It's a question of survival, most of the time.
"David told me you were in his class and I was surprised. That's not usually a course they only allow majors to take," Chuck says. I think quick for an excuse.
"I got special permission because I'm so interested in the topic," I said, "and I'd actually written a couple of things about one of the books we're reading." What I didn't want to say is that the Prof knows my Dad and has met me a couple of times at gatherings he used to have. He's seen the way I have of giving out messages that I'm submissive without being overt about it. He told me that he wont give me any special handling if I took the course. When it comes to my studies, I have no fear. Besides, there's a lot of homoeroticism in the reading list and also subtle themes of dominance and submission. It's a great list. One of the books is actually about a gay D/s couple. (Fetters, by Lyn Gala) I never read it before. I'm saving it for the Thanksgiving break so I can take the time to enjoy it. I'm not sure if I should volunteer that information, so I say nothing but just nod.
"So you must be one of them smart dudes," Bryan says, teasingly (I think). I can't imagine he'd say that as an insult in front of David, who is equally as bright as I am.
"Sure is," says David. "Many times, he and I take over the class discussion. One of the guys told me he loves it when that happens because it lets him off the hook." He gives me a look that says "I'll be putting you on the hook tonight."
David tells them about the way we tossed around our opinions of a male rape scene in one of our novels. Chuck seems uncomfortable. I keep looking at him. "I fucking hate it when they talk about that stuff," he says to me. I decide to agree. "I know what you mean. It scares me to, especially since I'm . . "
David cuts me off. "Hey guys, we'd better get going to that meeting." As they're getting up, he leans over and repeats a line for me from Red, White and Royal Blue: "The less you say, the better," and he furtively slaps my ass. I get the message. "See you later, David, " say, emphasizing his name because I know damn well that I'll be calling him Sir or Master or something like that later.
I'm going to pay for that, I know. All too well.
That night, after he's bound me spread-eagled to the table, he reaches into his little sack and tells me, "I was planning to bring a couple clothespins. After our time at lunch, I decided to bring more of them. Let's see how far I can take you." Notice again that he says this like a gently line in a conversation. There's nothing menacing about David, I've learned that. But I also know I'm in for it.
He blindfolds me and toys with my nipples with his fingers until he gets a couple of sounds out of me, then takes a few clothepins out and lays them on my stomach. One goes on each nipple, and they seem to be a lot tighter than regular clothespins. Shit! I'm still trying to adjust to the pain when he quickly sticks three on my scrotum. "You're lucky your dick is caged, boy," David says to me as he just goes about making a line of them across my chest and one in each armpit and OUCH! That's awful. David gives me a sadistic smile as he jiggles the ones on my balls and I don't know where to focus because the pain feels like it's just everywhere.
"I brought a couple sized penis gags," he informs me, "hoping I can increase your sucking limits," he says, oh, so very matter-of-factly. "Here's a five-incher." Shit! That's only five inches? I'm almost gagging already. "We'll just leave it there until it feels like a natural part of your throat. You faggot throat, of course, because only you cocksuckers know that that's like." As he's talking to me, he's systemically, and tells me a wretched riddle: "How do you make a cocksucker cry without touching him?"
"Um, put clothespins on his body?"
"No. All you have to do is put away your cock."
I make a fake laugh and he puts a couple more on my balls and dammit, they sure to bite. If I didn' t know better, I'd think he was trying to cut them off. He tells me a story about a boy sold in a slave market, and they offered to castrate him if the new owner wanted. The owner said, "Absolutely not. Don't you realize how valuable that sack of balls is? Don't you realize how much pain you can cause the slave?"
I would cry out something, but my mouth is loaded at the moment. The damn thing about clothespins, I discover, is that the I can't get used to the pain. It just keeps increasing. Between the combination of the pain and also the fact that my throat is being constantly invaded, the tears are flowing from my eyes, and a couple times, David reaches over and spreads them over my face and he runs the other fingers over the line of cpins digging into my chest. Damn! He doesn't have to do anything but wait until he's stretched me as far as I can go. Speaking of stretching, he takes out the 5-inch gag and puts in 5.5. "just open a tad bit more like a good slave," he says to me in his calm seductive voice. "Make sure you don't tense up just because I'm gonna open your throat a bit more. Too bad someone didn't take care of this when you were a young twink. The young ones I know can swallow a whole lot more than you, slaveboy." And he caresses my forehead with one hand and my ballsac with the other and I open to scream, but the second I did he shoves the next gag into my mouth and dammit, it breaks in all the way past my reflex and I'm being kept in a constant state of gagging. David helps, or thinks he helps, by working the pins on my chest and it actually helps because I stop gagging even while trying to raise my body off the table from the pain.
David stops. Just stops. Stands back and watches as I get delirious and actually high on the pain, which continues to increase. I realize that I'm not gagging any longer.5.5 inches. I'll have to remember that. But apparently it's not enough for David. He removes six pins from my chest, and I discover, much to my dismay, that the pain is even worse when the pin is taken off. So I continue my melodious whaling. He takes four off my balls too. The ones in my armpits got taken off almost as oon as they were put on, so I don't worry about that.
"I'll make you a deal," he says to me, "because I know how much you want to become as good a slave as you can be. Here's the deal: If you take a 6-incher for just a little while, I'll start taking off the rest of the pins. Okay?" I look at him warily with fear in my eyes. But I know I have to do it because Bobby hasn't interfered at all so I make the absolute act of submission and nod my head yes. Out comes the 5 incher.
He picks up the longer gag. "Come on, like a good slave. Open up that faggot mouth, boy. Push yourself. It's what you have to take from me." In it goes and he slams his fucking fist into my balls and I open for the biggest scream yet and my mouth is stuffed and I can feel it enter and I choke. He pulls it out a little bit. "There, faggot. I'll take a little out. You can be comfortable with half an inch less. You're doing well for me. I'm pleased with you tonight."
He takes off the rest of the pins so quickly that I get confused as to what's beginning to hurt more and I stop choking and just wail, "Mercy, please, Master." He smiles at me and runs his hand down my body, lightly touching all the spots that are still stinging from the clothespins. Then he leans over and kisses me with his wet mouth and I suck the juice from it just as a way of saying "thank you for torturing me, Master."
Next thing I'm off the table and David is holding me in his arms, the big awesome alpha hunk. I suck up his maleness. "So anyway," he says to me while holding me. "Those guys know you're a fag—everyone knows that now. We've never talked about the collar but I'm sure they'll have something to say another time. They also don't know that I'm somewhat interested in using you when your Master lets me."
He lets me go and I fall to my knees and kiss his boots. "That's all I want from you tonight, boy. I'll thank your Master before leaving. Remember this pain next time you see me." And with that, he turns and walks away, leaving me groveling on the floor until Bobby shows him to the door. He come back in. I'm still down there.
"You're all sticky and sweaty. Get in the tub. Crawl, slave."
Once I'm in there, he has me kneel up and gives me a golden shower, only making me drink a little right before he finishes. Then he turns on COLD water to wash off the piss and I start howling so he has mercy on me and makes the water a little warmer. Tepid. A little more bearable. "Use soap," he orders, so I start washing myself everywhere. I'm really sore from what David did, but it feels good to rub the soap over my chest and balls, and Bobby, bless him, makes the water nice and warm.
He turns off the water and takes a fresh fluffy towel and dries me himself, and it feels so awesome, his gentle action over my tortured body. But he has me take care of my legs and feet.
"Clean your mouth, boy, and come to bed. I want to hold you tonight until we fall asleep."
And so ends a very hectic day. Right where I belong. In His arms.
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Please write me and let me know what you like the most about this story.
subkodak25@gmail.com.
Here are the other stories I have posted, with the dates where you can find them:
The first five should be read in order:
The Alex Chronicles 9/25/2022
Sweet Subjugation 1/15/2023
Brandon's Bosses 4/3/2023
Brandon's Brothers 5/19/2023
Total Subjugation 5/25/2023
These stories are stand-alone
Tommy Loves His Sub 8/17/2023
Training Toby 12/31/2023
Breaking Me In (in progress)