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The usual disclaimers apply. This is fiction.
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Chapter 16
"She treats me like I'm an orphan. I know they don't mean to, but let your mom know that I'm aware that I don't have a family of my own."
"You don't have to get mad," Armie said. "She's trying. You're not the most open person."
"Parents love me," Chris said. The crunch of the gravel driveway didn't do much to tamp down his voice, but as he opened the front door, the house seemed to echo his words. "It's just that your mom is overbearing."
"I won't argue with that," Armie said. "But I'm stuck with her."
Chris kept his mouth shut. He had plenty more to say after this visit to Dallas, but it was better all around if he just stayed quiet. He rifled through the mail that Sebastian had set on the counter, feigning interest.
"She loves you," Armie assured him. He rubbed at Chris' shoulders as he peeked over at the pile of mail.
"Do you want me to go to the grocery store with you or should I stay here and start some laundry?" Chris asked. He needed a distraction, something to keep his brain from jumping from thought to thought. He'd managed to get some ideas down after his case of writer's block, but now they were coming too fast. He could barely decipher his own notes. He sensed that if he couldn't rein things in, things wouldn't turn out well for anyone. It was part of why he'd been so crabby in Texas. There was too much happening between jotting in his journals and family obligation. Plus, he saw a picture of Armie and Elizabeth in the Hammer house. It normally wouldn't have fazed him, but something about that old wedding photo hit him hard.
"You want me out of here? We just got home."
"No. No, sorry," Chris said. He turned around and leaned against the kitchen island, finally facing Armie. "I'm sorry. I'm being an ass."
"Yeah, you are. I know you're having trouble with your stuff, but you've to relax a little."
Chris took a deep breath. "I have an idea. Too many, actually. Maybe we can talk through them later?"
"Of course," Armie said as he ran his hand down Chris' cheek. "Anything to get you back on track." Chris blinked quickly a few times. He hadn't told Armie -- or anyone else -- that he'd been struggling. "If you think I can't tell, you really are going crazy. You've got a routine. I know you're not okay when you're giving yourself so much free time. You didn't lock yourself up for two hours a day, what was I supposed to think?"
"That I was spending time with you?" Chris asked. "To see Dallas?"
Armie's expression softened as he pressed their foreheads together. Chris tried to look away, but he couldn't keep his own gaze off of Armie's. Chris felt smaller than he usually did when Armie wrapped his arms around him. He towered over Chris without even trying. Chris found his spot, face buried in Armie's neck, his hands running over Armie's shoulder blades, their chests pressed together so that every curve and nook matched up as best as they could.
"My dad liked seeing that watch on you," Armie said softly. He stroked Chris' hair as he spoke. "He didn't see it at the wedding."
"He was probably distracted," Chris said. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He'd been distant to everyone during the trip and took the Hammers' hospitality for granted. He wanted to do it all over. "God, I was such an asshole."
"Don't worry about it," Armie assured him. "I'll let them know you were going through some creative stuff. They don't understand anything about that."
"I should call them and apologize," Chris said. "I'm going to go upstairs. Did you let them know that we made it home?"
"Nope. You call them and I'll take care of the laundry and the groceries."
"I won't argue with that," Chris said. He gave Armie a quick kiss and untangled himself from Armie's arms. "I'm really sorry. You know I'm not like that."
"I know, I know. I told you not to worry."
Armie watched as Chris walked slowly through the house and disappeared upstairs. Leaning against the counter, he took stock of everything. The both of them were tired from the plane ride, but Chris was definitely beating himself up over everything. Rest, Armie thought, would do him some good. Even though Chris had slept through the entire flight, Armie could tell it was restless. For the past few weeks, Armie could feel him pulling away, feel him struggling with everything from his creative process to everyday life. Armie didn't know what to do. Deciding to ride it out, he hoped that time would be enough.
He stepped out of the back door and waved when he saw Sebastian across the canal. A few minutes later, the two of them had met halfway. Together, they leaned over the bridge's rails, the water calm below them. "He's working through some stuff," Armie explained. "But I think it's better now. I don't actually know how he writes big projects."
"He doesn't talk about it," Sebastian said. "But I think it's pretty intense. He doesn't do anything halfway."
"I asked him," Armie said. "He said he couldn't explain it."
"If you want to know, there's probably only one person who lived it and you probably don't want to touch that."
"Not ready for that yet," Armie said, sighing. "Never will be. Every time we've ever met has been tense. I'll ride it out."
"When you two started seeing each other, I thought that he was in a big project."
"Movies are different. I didn't see how different it would be, but it's like he's drowning right now."
"You'll be okay. You'll both be okay," Sebastian said.
Armie nodded. "I think the critics got to him. They liked his book. The movie didn't get as much attention."
"It got plenty of attention," Sebastian said. "He probably didn't like being called a literary Taylor Swift. But I don't know what he expected."
Armie rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. "That was pretty rough."
"Write what you know," Sebastian said sarcastically. "Write what you know and you'll get eaten alive."
"His first book was not about something he knew. I don't know what to tell him. I'm not a writer," Armie said. Then, he recited one of the harsher critiques: "Have a subscription to 'People?' You'll know the story."
Sebastian cringed. "Did you have a good trip?"
"Yes," Armie said, genuinely happy that Sebastian changed the subject. "My dad got me some cigars. We should smoke those later. It was good to kick back with my parents. They wanted to spend time with Chris. That didn't exactly work out but it was fine."
Armie watched a pair of mallards swim under the bridge. He took a step to the other railing, leaning back against it and facing Sebastian. "I told my mom that I was going to marry him."
Sebastian's eyebrow jumped up. "What did she say?"
"That I need to think about it. She likes him, but she probably thinks I'm crazy."
"Aren't you a little crazy?"
"I'm a lot crazy, but this is what I want," Armie said, motioning at the house. "I want a life with him. I don't want him to write a book about our relationship, but I do want him with me."
"Good luck with that," Sebastian said, patting Armie's shoulder. "I really mean that. You'll need it."
Chris felt Armie before he saw him--the bed dipping around him, the feel of Armie's face nuzzling at his neck. Chris' eyes fluttered opened and Armie was on top of him, skin warm and the smell of cigars lingering. When their lips met, Chris could taste the tobacco. He'd fallen asleep with a notebook, but he saw out of the corner of his eye that it had been carefully put on the bedside table.
"Feel better?" Armie asked.
Chris nodded, grinning as he felt Armie's shoulders. A few rough outlines had turned into a clearer one and he'd mapped out a story. It was still very much an idea, but it was more direction than he'd had in weeks. A little bit of real-life conflict was all it took, which scared him. He pushed the thought aside when he felt Armie's hand reaching under his T-shirt before pulling it up over his head. Skin, to skin, Chris melted into the familiar feeling of Armie's scratchy chest hair and his lean frame.
He kissed down Chris' chest, tongue flicking across a nipple as his hand dipped into Chris' underwear, a shiver shooting up Chris' entire body. Chris hissed, grabbing Armie's head, fingers tangling in his thick blond hair as Armie moved lower, tongue swirling around the head of his dick. Armie pulled off Chris' underwear, tossing it aside as he took as much of Chris' cock in as he could, feeling Chris stiffen above him, shuddering as his throat squeezed his shaft. He closed his eyes, sliding Chris' dick in and out of his mouth, pulling on his balls lightly as he sucked hard, moans and grunts filling the bedroom as Chris tensed, the heat in the room enveloping the two of them just like Armie's hot mouth on his cock.
"God, Armie," Chris grunted, neck straining as he threw his head back, toes curling as he shuddered. Armie let up on his cock, feeling is pulse as it left his lips, swollen and pink, glossy with spit. Armie stroked him, hand firm and steady as he watched Chris, breaths quickening and body flushed.
"Close?" Armie whispered, slick fingers still sliding up and down Chris' dick. Chris could only nod, breathing labored and body tensing, "Good," was Armie's only response, a finger sliding, slick and fast, into Chris' hole.
He watched, eyes rapt, as Chris' entire body went rigid, his jaw slack as his eyes slammed shut. Armie took his dick in again, another finger poking into Chris' ass. Seeing him, just seeing Chris go crazy made Armie's dick rock hard, pearls of pre-cum sliding down his shaft. He could feel Chris holding on, trying as hard as he could to hold it in, but he knew exactly what to do. Armie's fingers were sure and confident, sliding in and poking at Chris' prostate, fingertip swirling around, gasps and shudders falling from Chris' lips. Armie knew what to do to draw it out, too, sliding off Chris' dick to flick the tip with his tongue, lapping at the tight sac, making sure to bring Chris as close as he could before backing off. It drove Chris crazy, he knew it did, but he did it every time because he knew Chris loved it, too.
"Let me cum or fuck me already," Chris gasped. Armie slid another finger in, stretching Chris' hole and erasing every thought in his head at the same time. Armie grinned, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he concentrated, Chris' hole squeezing his fingers. Chris' toes curled and mouth was dry.
Armie could do both, he was sure, crooking his finger and sending another one of Chris' groans out into the air. "Fuck, fuck fuck," Chris was incoherent, his cock pulsing as he squeezed his chute tight, trapping Armie's fingers inside, Armie sliding Chris' cock into his throat one more time. He felt Chris' hands grab his head, fingers tight on his scalp as he let out one last long groan, deep and low, cum spraying from his dick right down Armie's throat. Chris' body shook, his muscles tensing and relaxing, breathing stunted and body flushed. He felt his entire body shudder, waves washing over him, every ripple coming from his dick and Armie's squeezing throat.
Armie sat back and watched as Chris came down, breathing slowing down and his eyes fluttering open to look at Armie, half-lidded. Chris pulled him, smashing their lips together.
"You're amazing," Chris said, lips sliding against Armie's. He reached down, stroking Armie's dick, already slick with pre-cum. Shuddering, Armie pulled Chris even closer, hands roaming down Chris' sweaty back, feeling taut muscle under his slick fingers. Armie pushed him forward and Chris felt the bed against his back, but he didn't have time to even sink into the mattress. Armie maneuvered them so that Chris was turned around, with Armie's lips on the back of his neck. Chris shuddered, a chill creeping up his spine when Armie slid his fingers in again. "You should see yourself," he gasped.
"Get inside me," Chris whispered, urging Armie forward, "come on." He rolled his fingers into fists, gripping at the sheets to keep himself from bucking up off the bed. He could hear Armie shuffling behind him and hands sliding down his back, tongue following his fingers, lips nipping at soft skin. Armie's fingers were still sliding in and out, feeling Chris' hole quivering.
"Ready?" Armie asked, his free hand running circles on Chris' ass. Chris nodded and felt Armie steady himself, gasping when he felt something hot at his hole. It wasn't his cock, though, Armie was still denying him that satisfaction.
Even with his tongue buried deep, Armie could feel Chris' entire body shudder, his hands running over Chris' legs, his tongue alternating between deep thrusts and quick circles around Chris' hole. He didn't have to feel it to know Chris' dick was hard, either. Chris was incoherent, head spinning as he just steadied himself against the onslaught. He felt Armie give one last lick, tongue going up his crack and up his back before he leaned forward, his own sweaty chest resting on Chris' back, his hand sliding back down Chris side to grab the base of his dick.
"Going to make you cum good and hard," Armie whispered, voice gruff and dry, in Chris' ear, feeling him shiver under him. He slid the head of his dick in, his own body almost buckling in half at the sensation, his cock finally surrounded by the tight, hot warmth of Chris' hole. Chris' mouth was open in a silent groan, is back tense as he relaxed his hole, Armie's thick cock stretching him open. His body slowly registered everything, the soft bed against his chest, Armie's hot chest, slick chest on his back, his big thick cock sliding deep into him again and again. Armie's lips were on his ear, nipping and licking the sensitive skin. He thrust hard and steady, every movement sliding across Chris' prostate, his dick sheathed in clutching muscle, their bodies moving together.
Chris groaned, teeth pulling the skin of his own wrist to keep from crying out. It burned, burned deep inside him as Armie slammed in, hand gripping his hip as the other ran soothing passes over his back.
"Fuck, Armie. I'm going to shoot," he said, voice strained and tight. He squeezed his ass hard, pulling a low growl from Armie's lips, before he leaned down, lips at Chris' neck, sparks flying down Chris' back, thrusts not losing any of their speed or force. Armie felt his own breathing get faster and Chris' entire body get tight and hot. Then, he felt Chris' ass squeeze his dick even tighter than before, muscles spasming under Armie's thrusting body.
Armie's eyes shut tight as he shot, orgasm spooling out into Chris' tight chute, hands grabbing his shoulders for support.
"Jesus," he groaned, resting his forehead against the back of Chris' head, matting the sweaty hairs of his own forehead, "fucking amazing."
He let out a long sigh, thrusting his dick in deep one more time, sending a quiet whimper from Chris' throat. He ran his hands down Chris' arms, grabbing Chris' wrists tight as he kissed the back of his neck, pink and red from the bites, sucking, and beard burn. He let his breath get back to normal, feeling Chris relax under him, still reveling in the sensations, body quivering every few minutes. He turned his head around, shocked by how blue Armie's eyes looked through his lusty haze, how everything seemed over-stimulating as he came down.
"Stay like that," Chris whispered, "just a little longer."
Armie nodded, kissing Chris' ear, holding him tight. It felt so good and so right that Armie didn't even want to think about moving.
A month and a very, very rough novel later, Armie had convinced Chris to slow down. Editing took a long time and instead of looking to get everything perfect in one go, Chris could take his time. Much to his satisfaction, David, Chris' editor, was all for the idea. Now, instead of typing for two hours a day, Chris sat on the patio and re-read what he'd written. He read dialogue out loud to Armie while they took their time with their morning coffee. He talked to David on the phone to discuss the plot's progression and worked on character development. It was taking things to a more intimate level all around and Chris took it on as a new challenge.
"It might get overwrought," Chris proposed one afternoon, his laptop open on the coffee table and his phone pushed up against his ear. He was talking to his editor while Armie was on the couch.
"It seems fine," Armie said over his shoulder. Admittedly, he hadn't actually read every single thing that Chris had ever written, but he was working to get there. "I don't think this could do anything bad."
"He's just trying to help," Chris told David. "I don't think the book is ready, but I think that it's almost there. If it's too polished, it'll seem impersonal."
Armie watched Chris pace from the kitchen to the living room, walking the same short path over and over as he spoke. Armie had done his best to get Chris to slow down. From what he could tell, it had worked. He wasn't exactly Zen, but he was definitely less high-strung. He watched as Chris struggled to slip his AirPods into his ears and started the slow process of making coffee while keeping his phone conversation going. Armie watched as he went through the well-rehearsed motions.
"Hold on, I have another call coming in," Armie heard him say. He kept his eyes focused on his magazine, but turned around when he heard Chris mention Jake's name.
"I'll work on it and send you some notes later today," Chris said before switching his call over.
Armie did his best to eavesdrop, but he was still only getting a one-sided conversation. Chris didn't abandon his coffee or move to the other room, though, which gave Armie some comfort. Even though they'd been together for a long time, the subject of Jake Gyllenhaal rarely made it onto the table. Armie never pressed for any details, since he'd gotten almost all his information from gossip sites. Chris wasn't forthcoming with much, but it was understandable. They didn't speak about Elizabeth, either. But every time Jake's called or his name came up, Armie couldn't help feeling something.
"Do we have any plans for Saturday?" Chris asked.
"We have the benefit with my parents," Armie said. "They're leaving the next morning."
"We have to choose another day," Chris said to Jake. "I think we're free Sunday. We can do brunch, lunch, or dinner."
Again, Armie couldn't hear the apparent negotiation. "Sorry," he finally heard. "Another time, then. I'll email you the manuscript." Habits were hard to break. Chris genuinely wanted to know what Jake thought of the book before he went through another round of revisions.
"Come here," Armie said. Chris walked over, letting himself get pulled onto Armie's lap. Chris felt Armie's hands slide up and down his back as he settled into one of his favorite positions: straddling Armie's hips, his hands gripping Armie's shoulders, and their lips barely touching. He let his eyes shut as he took in all the sensations, every smell and touch, the soft sound of Armie's breathing.
"Can you believe that I'm almost finished?" Chris asked, a singsong lilt in his voice.
"I made two movies while you wrote that, don't get too cocky," Armie said, smiling.
Chris bit at Armie's lip playfully before kissing him full-on, their chests pressing together and Chris bringing his hands down Armie's arms, following the straight path to hold his hands. "I'm excited."
"Yeah I can feel it," Armie said, squeezing Chris' hands. He wanted to feel Chris' cock, but held back.
"You have the worst timing," Chris said, leaning back and biting his lower lip. He brought Armie's hands to his mouth, placing soft kisses on his knuckles. He leaned in and kissed along Armie's jaw, up to his ear. His arms wrapped around Armie's neck. "I love you so much. For once, writing wasn't a traumatic experience," Chris said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I'll send you an invoice for my services," Armie said, his hands going back down Chris' back. "It was a survival tactic for myself. I didn't want PTSD. I also don't want to find myself in any of your books, thank you very much."
Chris let out a chuckle. "You're such an ass sometimes," he said. He nuzzled at Armie's neck, feeling the warmth of his body spreading to his own.
Armie growled, the sound low in his throat. His hands gripped at Chris' butt. "Do you trust me?" he said, his voice deep.
"I already told you we're not doing that," Chris said, groaning into Armie's shoulder as he felt a shudder sweep through his body.
"Get upstairs. Hands and knees on the bed," Armie said as he pulled Chris' shirt off. "Let's celebrate."
The fact that Jake hadn't said anything about his new book didn't help Chris' anxiety. Meeting Armie's parents had also managed to chip away at his sanity, but this time, with everything happening on his home turf, things seemed to be going more smoothly. One lunch down, Chris and Armie found themselves at a fundraising benefit for the museum that happened to bear the Hammer family name. Although Armie didn't take his position as an honorary director very seriously, all it took was a little prodding from his mother to get him to suit up and show up.
"You look pink," Armie said as they walked in together, hand-in-hand.
"Your beard scratched up my face," Chris said, his free hand absentmindedly rubbing over his cheek. "We should have behaved in the car."
"You look really good all dressed up," Armie added. "Couldn't help myself."
"Let's find your parents," Chris said, already scanning the crowd. Armie smoothed his jacket down and ran his fingers through Chris' hair, pushing down a few errant strands.
"They're probably at the end of some receiving line," Armie suggested. "They're a big deal."
"You don't have to keep reminding me," Chris said. He wove his way through the crowd -- something easier for him to do than Armie with his six-foot-five frame -- and snagged some water from a passing waiter. He'd done enough of this that he had all the moves down. Stepping over long sweeping trains, dodging women teetering on their high heels, and making sure that he said hello to the right people was second nature by now. Armie watched as Chris went through the night's choreography, waving and smiling with a practiced ease.
"Hey, slow down," Armie said, wrapping an arm around Chris' waist and pulling him close.
"You're not the only one into tuxes, Armie," he said softly. "I won't be able to keep myself from shoving your dick in my throat much longer."
"You've got a dirty mouth," Armie said, his lips grazing Chris' ear.
Chris dipped out of Armie's grasp when he felt his hand straying from his waistband down lower, chuckling as he took a few steps away. "I see your mom. I guess we should behave."
After what he considered to be a disastrous trip to Dallas, Chris felt like he'd redeemed himself with a few phone calls, an apology or two, and a bouquet of magenta peonies. It was too much, Dru had said. Everyone gets into moods, she insisted. Chris assured her that he had been going through work-related stress. And just as Chris was ready to approach her in real life one more time, he bumped into another guest.
"Sorry," Chris said, steadying himself. "It's so crowded."
Armie had managed to get back to Chris' side and clutched at his hand one more time. "Hold on, my dad said that they have some sort of talk with the mayor or something. And you can't be bumping into Olympic medalists. Especially hot ones. It's like you're trying to make me jealous."
"Who?" Chris asked, looking around again to see exactly who Armie was talking about.
"Don't worry about it," Armie said before placing a quick kiss on Chris' lips.
"I didn't think you got jealous."
"I get very, very jealous," Armie said. "I'm just good at hiding it."
Chris knew better than to even think about bringing up his ex-husband, but his overactive mind definitely went there. The very few times that Armie and Jake had met, Chris hadn't noticed any sort of jealousy. Dating actors did have some drawbacks.
Chris almost jumped when he felt another hand on shoulder blade. "You boys may be stealing the attention away from the show," Dru said.
"Don't exaggerate, mom," Armie said, leaning over to give his mom a quick kiss on the cheek. Chris did the same before standing up a little straighter and slipping his hands into his pockets. Parents loved good posture.
"Chris, keep my mom company for a second, I'll find dad so we can get out of here."
"Leaving so soon?"
"Sorry, mom, we've got an early morning tomorrow."
"Christopher," Dru said as soon as Armie was out of earshot. "You're so good together. When the two of you get married, promise you'll come out to Texas more."
"I don't think we're going to get married," Chris said. "We haven't really talked about it."
Dru turned to look Chris squarely in the eyes. "I hope I'm not overstepping, but you need to talk about it."
"Dru, if you know anything, let me know. I'm not really into surprises."
"He wants to marry you," Dru said before Armie and his father approached them. "That's all I know."
Chris felt lightheaded at the statement, but steadied himself and put on a smile. Parents didn't want to deal with neuroses and commitment issues. They just wanted to see smiles.
"That wasn't so bad, was it," Armie asked as they sat together in the back of the car. His hand was on Chris' knee.
"Part of dating a Hammer," Chris said, rubbing at his face. Thinking about what Armie's mom had said had drained all of the energy out of him. The rest of the evening had been nothing more than making small talk with Armie's parents and counting the minutes down to when they could leave.
"Let's get some In-N-Out," Armie said. "Or should we get home? I want you out of that tux as soon as possible."
"Are we getting married?" Chris asked, tossing all pretense out of the situation. The idea of having to get lawyers involved was enough to turn him off to the entire idea. But just because his divorce with Jake had gone so smoothly didn't mean that things would be the same if the situation came again. Chris had to think of himself first, as awful as it seemed.
"I figured there's be more romance in the proposal," Armie said, a grin on his face. "But if you're asking..."
"I'm not asking to marry you," Chris said, his fingertips gently feeling the back of Armie's hand. "I want to know if that's what you want."
"Of course," Armie said. "I've wanted it for a long time. Isn't that where this is going? I've just been waiting for the right time. It's been, what, two years? Two and a half? And my mom...she's from Texas. Of course she wants me to be married."
"I have to think about that," Chris said. "I don't not want to. I just don't know about the second marriage thing. We have to have a serious talk about it. Not in a car. Not when I can taste Champagne on you."
"I can be patient when I have to," Armie said. "Take your time."
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