Breaking Through

By christopher luu

Published on Jan 28, 2018

Gay

A very big thank you to all of the readers who have taken the time to send kind messages for the first few chapters of the story. I very much appreciate it.

Please send any feedback, complaints, and correspondence to breakingthroughstory@gmail.com. I'm looking forward to continuing this creative endeavor in 2018 and hope to rebuild the sense of community that had been established the first time around between readers and writers.

This new story will take place in a loose version of the present day and most of the main ideas from the first go-round will remain. With a 10-year jump in time, some things have changed. The new story will do away with a lot of the tertiary characters in the old narrative.

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Chapter 5

"You're eating all of the almonds," Chris said, shaking the paper cone in his hand to find one or two more. Sebastian chuckled, tossing a warm, candied nut into his mouth as the two of them kept walking. The two of them were wandering the farmers' market, sunglasses shading them from the early morning sun. The city of Venice shut down a pedestrian-friendly stretch of Abbot Kinney Boulevard once a week for it. Chris gave up his quest for the prize and settled on cashews. Filler nuts.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about your new guy," Sebastian said as he examined a basket full of plums. He picked a few ripe ones before switching to peaches.

"He's not my 'guy,'" Chris said. He could feel his whole body tense.

"I saw him pacing right by your house," Sebastian said quickly, before Chris could interrupt again.

"We just talked. I fell asleep on the couch. We haven't seen each other since. He probably thinks I'm crazy."

"I just know some things he's done. He's known for breaking up relationships is all. You're my friend. You should know. He's also known for getting his way. A good-looking guy like that, he always gets what he wants, whether it's the girl --ÿthe guy, this time, I guess --ÿor a role."

"Thanks," Chris said. He really meant it, too. It was the first time he'd ever heard anyone say something about Armie that wasn't glowing. Everyone had cracks in their veneer. Up until now, Chris was ignoring all of Armie's. He takes a seat at the fountain sitting at the market's center. Inside, there's a layer of pennies. Long-forgotten wishes. He fished for more nuts, his fingertips coated in sweet sugar and cinnamon. "I don't know if his intentions are what you think they are."

"He got the role," Chris said to nobody in particular. "I fought for it. I really did."

"I know," Sebastian said.

"We haven't talked since."

"At least you didn't fuck," Sebastian said, trying to lighten things up.

Chris sighed. "Way to drop it all on me."

"I could be wrong. I'm not saying he's completely bad. You spend time with him. You'd know."

"Why do I let myself get into situations like this? I honestly thought I was headed for a happy ending."

"You already had one, didn't you? I saw the pictures in 'Vogue.'"

"That wasn't a happy ending. It was the beginning of something else."

"The pictures looked good."

"Photoshop," Chris said flatly.

"Gotcha." Sebastian motioned towards a Sur la Table at the other end of the shopping center. "Let's stock up."

"Then I'll have no reason to bother you."

"You'll figure something out."

An hour and two armloads of kitchen essentials later, they were headed back to Chris' house. The walk was slow thanks to their shopping trip and Chris' reluctance to think about everything he'd gone through with Armie. Part of him wanted to forget what Sebastian had said, because there really was no way to tell, but he was glad for the information, too. The more you know, they always said. He wasn't ready to write Armie off entirely, but he was definitely putting his guard back up.

"Sorry to kill your buzz," Sebastian said as they unloaded everything in the kitchen. Chris pulled a beer out for Sebastian, even though they hadn't had lunch yet.

"Get your buzz started, then."

"Hey, I am in no place to say that you shouldn't keep going with him."

"You basically told me he was up to no good."

"He might be. But maybe he's not. Maybe you're the one that can change him."

"Isn't that what we all want? To be the one thing that can change bad behavior? It's like I'm in a Victorian novel."

"He and Jake did a movie together. Didn't he say anything?"

"I haven't mentioned it. When he was filming 'Nocturnal Animals,' I only visited once. Things were already starting to...we weren't good." Chris rubbed his eyes. It hurt. It hurt more than it should to think that Armie might have been using him.

"Don't be so dramatic. You always see the best in people, don't stop that now."

Two grilled cheese sandwiches later, Sebastian headed back across the canal and Chris had been wrestling with his thoughts while staring at the flowers Armie had sent him. They were huge blooms, the size of grapefruits. Fluffy and delicate, they oozed cheer and positivity. They were barely pink, a soft blush color that Chris knew was hard to find. Armie probably went through a lot of trouble to get this many. It was meant to impress, Chris thought. It was the perfect finishing touch to his long game. He leaned back in his chair and tapped the vase with his toe. It wobbled. The sun was starting its slow descent outside, casting long shadows across the house, especially up on the landing. Chris tapped the vase one more time, harder. It wobbled again and Chris held his breath watching it right itself. It didn't topple over, but the flower shook, silently bumping against each other. Chris rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He let out a long breath and wondered if the universe had it out for him.

Finding no solace in introspection, Chris did something he swore he'd never do. He sat down in front of his computer and pulled up the gossip sites. Armie's past would be laid out in their sensational headlines and intrusive photos. There was no hiding on the internet and Chris decided he was diving in head-first. Armie's golden-boy veneer had to be covering something up.

For every story that painted Armie as an old-money scion, there was another that dismissed him as nothing more than a pretty boy actor. His IMDb page was full of hits and misses. His romantic life wasn't all that interesting, only the fact that he met his now-ex-wife while she was still married. In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing more than a blip. After researching and falling down countless rabbit holes, he was more lost than anything else. Chris wondered which rumors were true and which ones were just started to chip away at his good looks and privilege. Giving up, Chris shut his computer off with a huff. Some terrible news would have helped, but all he got was nonsense taken out of context. Armie liked knots. Armie liked bondage. Armie liked rough sex. It was all clickbait. Chris could feel the beginnings of a migraine.

A knock at his back door startled him out of his misery. Coming from that side, it could only be Sebastian. What Chris didn't expect, however, was meeting him at the back door and seeing him dressed in a suit. "You need me to tie your tie?" Chris asked as Sebastian walked past him, heading straight for the refrigerator.

"Get dressed. I'm taking you out. Premiere."

"You really know how to make a guy feel special," Chris deadpanned. "I don't go to those anymore. PTSD."

"I'm not going to this one solo. So either you put on a suit or I'll order up pizza."

"Pepperoni's fine," Chris said, settling in on the sofa.

"Stop. You've got to cheer up. I know this isn't anyone's idea of a good time, but we can get In-N-Out after. Do it for me."

"It's too dangerous. I'll steal the spotlight from your movie and you'll hate me forever," Chris said sarcastically. "It's tough out there."

Protests aside, Sebastian managed to get Chris changed into a plain black suit and the two of them walked back to Sebastian's, where a car was waiting. "This is what girlfriends are for," Chris insisted. "Not neighbors."

"Girlfriends are good for plenty, but not when they're not around."

"I'm not sucking your dick," Chris said as the two got into the back of black SUV. "And I'm only doing this for a Double Double."

Halfway down the red carpet, Chris lost Sebastian. He had press to do, questions to answer and plenty of elbows to rub. Chris, on the other hand, didn't. He had stayed a few paces behind, but those grew to a few yards and suddenly, he was lost in a sea of publicists and assistants. With no phones allowed on the carpet and no way to squeeze through the unruly crowd, he stuck his hands in his pockets and tried his best to keep pace with the flow of people. Then, he felt it: A hand on his back and a familiar voice in his ear. "What are you doing here baby?"

His body moved automatically. A sidestep towards the voice, a straightening of his back and a deep, relaxing breath came without a thought. Jake even smelled the way he remembered. With that support, he went from lost to composed in a snap. "I'm here for a friend," Chris said, struggling to make sure that Jake could hear him over the fray. "You're not in this movie."

"I'm putting in some facetime for Universal."

"I was afraid I'd run into you," Chris said, reaching to hold Jake's hand. "And that we'd take attention away from Sebastian."

"Don't worry about that," Jake said. "You should be keeping your movie in the headlines."

"It's out of my hands now."

"Every time they mention you, they'll have to include it. That's how things work. You have to give them the old razzle-dazzle." With a practiced smoothness, Jake turned the two of them towards the pit of photographers and flashed a big smile. He wrapped his arm around Chris' waist and held him closer.

Chris reunited with his actual date a few minutes later, when he saw Sebastian waiting for him at the theater's main entrance. "For someone who hates these things, you handled that like a pro."

"I had some help," Chris said. "Are we going to get burgers now?"

"I don't break promises. But give me a little bit of time to do some interviews. 30 minutes, max."

"Am I supposed to watch the first half hour of your movie and just leave?"

"Sorry, man. I'll make it as quick as I can." Sebastian mouthed another apology as he was ushered away.

"He seems nice." Jake was back at Chris' side, having completed the press line himself.

"He's a good guy when he's not bribing me with the promise of fast food."

"Is that all it takes now?"

"Some shit happened earlier, he was trying to cheer me up but you in-demand actors always have stuff to do. My feelings come in second place."

Jake faked a pout. "There's no business like show business."

"Did you watch 'Chicago' today?"

"Did I hear you had 30 minutes?"

Back in the car, Chris rubbed at his face. He hoped that Sebastian wouldn't notice the pink flush of stubble burn. Straightening his tie, he checked to see that his shirt collar covered his neck properly. Nobody needed to see the damage that Jake's teeth had done to his neck. The two of them managed to sneak into an empty greenroom. Without the proper prep, however, their illicit activities couldn't progress beyond making out. It didn't seem like the right time to bring up Jake's experiences with Armie, either, so Chris pushed all that to the back of his mind. Instead, he focused on how Jake's tongue felt against his own and how the feel of Jake's muscles was still so familiar. He regretted that decision as soon as they rejoined the crowd. He'd try the next day. Phone calls were for talking. In person, seeing Jake dressed up, it would have been rude to deny him a quick trip to first base.

Chris watched as Sebastian pulled off his own tie, unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt and letting out a long breath.

"Now it's time for fun. Sorry for abandoning you. Twice."

"I managed," Chris said as he watched the bright lights of the theater disappear behind them. "You're paying though. You owe me that much."

Feedback: breakingthroughstory@gmail.com

Next: Chapter 6


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