This is a fictional story that may involve sexual acts between two or more males. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental. This story is the property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is permitted without the author's written consent.

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Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine

Brent's Struggle Chapter 27

"Come on Soldier," Bryan called back to Brent. "Get the lead out!"

Brent tried to put on some extra speed as he ran with Bryan down the deserted road. He had not realized how serious Bryan had been about the two of them working out. Bryan had forced him up and out shortly after sun rise. It had been cool but the day was heating up fast. Brent had sweat running down his back and his blonde hair was plastered to his scalp.

"It is not much further."

"Yeah right!" Brent called back. It was all he could do to keep up with the man. Bryan seemed to have no problem with the run. Brent wondered if the man ever ran out of steam. Brent had not been able to keep up with Bryan for awfully long. He started falling further behind. Bryan would slow down long enough for Brent not to fall behind too far and then pick up the pace again. In the past he would have been happy to follow that man and check out the guy's firm ass in the tight blue running shorts. The nylon fabric was hugging every curve of the man's firm ass. Brent watched as Bryan's leg muscles flexed. He got both excited and scared at the same time. His mind could not decide if he should be attracted to the man or repulsed by the feelings of attraction.

Brent also had not decided what he should do about his parents. He had not been sleeping well thinking about what Matt had told him. His Mom wanted him to call but did that also mean his Dad wanted him to call. Would his Dad ever be alright having a gay son? Brent even wondered if he was gay anymore. He had not had any real sexual interest at all. He could not remember the last time he had masturbated. At least not the last time he had voluntarily masturbated. He did not think the times he had been forcefully jerked off counted. He had not really been a willing participant.

Brent tried to push the memories of Dr. Wilson from his mind. He did not want to think about that today. He just wanted to concentrate on running. He wanted to focus on the present. He needed to keep those memories pushed down. Of course, he would be talking with Dr. Drake later today about them. He was seeing the Dr. twice a week now. The Dr. was trying to have more than enough material to write up his report for the upcoming court case. Matt had told them just last night that the case had been prioritized because of the media coverage and Dr. Wilson's criminal case. It seemed no matter how the courts tried to keep the names of the boys out of the media Matt feared they would be leaked at some point.

Brent was concerned about that. He did not want people to know what had happened to him at the clinic. Matt and Bryan said it only showed how strong he was. But he thought it just made him look fucked up. Brent and Steven had talked about it. Steven was not as concerned as Brent was about it.

"Out here at my Uncle's ranch, there is no one around," Steven said. "Most people in town don't even know I'm here. They probably won't make the connection unless television crews show up in town or they show my picture. The isolation has been really relaxing. My uncle is teaching me to ride. It is so cool. You should come out and visit."

"That could be fun," Brent said. "If I end up in a media circus, I might need a place to hide." Brent wondered if Matt and Bryan would let him go. He was certain his parents would not.

"I've talked to my Uncle a bit about you," Steven said. "You know how we bonded in there and he said you can visit anytime. He said you can stay as long as you want."

"Thanks," Brent said. "Um, how much did you tell him?"

"Just that it was hell, that we got abused a lot by that crazy bitch," Steven said. "I didn't tell him all about, um, you know. Have you told anyone?"

"No," Brent said. "I'm seeing a doctor. He wants me to talk about it but I haven't yet."

"My Uncle mentioned me seeing a doctor but I was too afraid," Steven confided. "I don't want to end up back in that place."

"You won't!" Brent said. "If anyone even mentions that to you, call me. Bryan will call out the Marines again. He said, um, you know who, will burn the next clinic like that to the ground."

"He just might," Steven said. "I got to know them better on the drive up here. They are really nice but that guy is like lethal."

"Why do you say that?" Brent asked.

"We stopped at this place on the way to my Uncle's ranch to get a bite to eat," Steven said. "It was like a dive bar but the food was good. I was not real clear on what happened but I guess the guys did something gay. Or at least something one of these local dudes' thought was gay. He called him a fag."

"Oh, I bet that went over good," Brent said.

"Brent there were 8 of them," Steven said. "They were fucking huge. I got pushed back in the corner and just stood there. There wasn't one of them standing when we left."

"Shit!" Brent said.

"We walked to the car like nothing had happened," Steven said. "I wasn't sure if I should feel safe or fucking scared."

"As long as you were with them, I would say you were fucking safe." Bret could remember the tall red head guy. He could also remember how friendly and nice the man had been. His friend Miguel had also been nice. Brent knew the two men had put a lot on the line to get him and Steven out of the clinic. That was why he and Steven had agreed to never mention the two again. Brent knew he was never going to talk to anyone about them other than Steven, Matt, or Bryan. In Brent's mind it was no one else's business.

"Yeah, I went with safe," Steven said. "He was never anything but nice to me. He, um, even hugged me when they were leaving. They both did."

"Maybe one day we can repay them somehow for what they did," Brent said.

"I'm for that. Just let me know how."

Brent pulled his mind back to the morning run. Bryan was slowing down and Brent was finally able to catch up to the blonde man. "Does that help clear the fog from your mind?" Bryan asked.

"No," Brent said panting as the two slowed to a walk. "Not enough oxygen."

Bryan's laugh was loud and he playfully slapped Brent's back. "You are a funny boy."

Brent was not sure how funny it was. His legs and lungs were burning from the exercise. He guessed it was good for him and it seemed to make Bryan happy to have someone to workout with. "Do you and Matt do this?"

"We try and exercise together," Bryan said. "Right now, he's putting in some extra hours at work. That is why he was leaving early and will be coming in late. Whenever he takes time off or there is a big project, he must put in the extra hours to keep caught up. We enjoy working out together. Part of the fun is watching each other flexing. It can be a turn on for both of us."

Brent knew that before his time at the clinic, he would have been checking out every inch of Bryan's body. The man was a wet dream from his blonde hair and blue eyes to his powerful chest and arms. The tight light grey sleeveless shirt Bryan was wearing was stretched tight across his chest. Bryan's arms bulged with the cords of muscles that formed his biceps. The man's shoulders were broad and well-muscled. Plus, his manhood filled out the front of the blue shorts. "He's having to put in extra time because of me, isn't he?" Brent was feeling a little guilty about being a burden on the two men.

"don't worry about it Brent." Bryan's voice was serious. "We both did what we wanted to do helping you. Our decisions are not your responsibility."

"But I'm costing you guys so much," Brent said. "All of the doctor visits and you aren't even working..."

"Stop it Brent," Bryan said cutting off Brent's words. "You are trying to take on more responsibility than you should. Nothing that has happened to you is your fault. Matt and I are doing exactly what we want. I'm enjoying having a new workout buddy. Do not worry about us."

"I just don't want to be a burden on you guys," Brent said looking down. He jumped when he felt Bryan's hand close on his upper arm. Like Bryan Brent was wearing a sleeveless shirt. His was blue instead of grey.

Bryan felt Brent jump but he did not let go. "You are not a burden. If anything, you are a blessing. You have brought us closer together. We have often talked about having kids and you are kind of giving us that experience."

Brent tried not to pull away from Bryan. He knew when he did that it hurt the men. It was simply hard for him to accept physical contact. "You two would be awesome dads. I wish..." Brent's voice trailed off. He did not know if he should say what he thought.

"What do you wish Brent?" Bryan asked softly.

"I wish you were my dad's." Brent looked down fighting back the tears. He would not let Bryan see him crying like some baby.

"We want to be there for you Brent," Bryan said. "We know you have a dad and even if he has not fully come to terms with you being gay, Matt and I know you still love him."

"Yu two have been better to me than he as," Brent said. Brent and Richard had been close once. They had enjoyed playing golf together. They had enjoyed teasing his Mom. It had not been until Brent had given into being gay that he and his father had become strangers.

"I can see it in your eyes," Bryan said. "You love your dad and mom and you should."

"We used to be closer, my dad and me." Brent looked down at the ground and then his eyes traveled over Bryan's tan legs. Brent could see the dusting of light brown hair on the man's well-muscled legs. He had a momentary impulse to touch the man. He wondered just what the hair felt like. Steven had been completely smooth except for his red pubic hair and Devyn had not had much hair either. Brent swallowed trying to push down the surge of emotions.

"If you both put in the effort you might be able to have that again." Bryan so wanted Brent to have the relationship the boy wanted with his father. He knew that might take Brent away from him and Matt but Bryan still wanted it for the boy.

"He's never going to accept me being, um, gay," Brent said. He looked up at Bryan's clear blue eyes. "he's only going to hate me."

"I wish I could tell you were wrong but you might be right." Bryan knew from experience sometimes the leap was too much for some people to make. "No matter how things work out, you have me and Matt."

"Thanks," Brent said his voice thick. He wanted to believe it but he still had doubts. He still worried what Matt and Bryan would think of him if they knew how fucked up, he really was.

Brent was following Bryan up the steps. His eyes once again traveling over Bryan's legs and then the hard buns inside the blue shorts. Brent wondered if Bryan had blonde hair on his ass. Brent had never been with a hairy guy. Devyn had been smooth when they had been together. Brent wondered if Devyn had grown any hair on his chest. He wondered if Devyn was shaving or not.

"you alright?" Bryan asked watching Brent. The boy was looking right through him.

"Um, yeah, I was just thinking," Brent said.

"If you are worrying about me and Matt missing work, stop it." Bryan took a long drink from his water bottle.

Brent looked at the man's bulging bicep as he was drinking from the bottle. He saw the patch of dark blonde hair in the man's arm pit. It sent sensations cascading through him. He closed his eyes fighting back the wave a fear that surged through him.

"I, um, was actually thinking about Devyn," Brent said. "Um, do you think you will be able to find him?"

Bryan put down the water. He wanted to tell Brent the truth but he and Matt had agreed that Brent was not stable enough yet. Bryan knew that it would be so much easier if Devyn were alive and here for Brent. It would speed up Brent's emotional recovery. "We are going to see what we can find out." Bryan felt guilty at deceiving Brent. He knew they needed to level with the boy but they also wanted Brent to be stronger before doing that.

"Thanks." Grabbing his own water bottle Brent took a long drink. He was hoping that they would find Devyn soon. He was hoping Devyn would give him a chance to say he was sorry. He was not sure what He would do if Devyn refused to talk to him. He knew he would not be able to blame Devyn if he never wanted to speak to him again. "I think I'll hit the shower. I've got the Dr. Drake appointment today. Is, um, Matt going to meet us there again?"

"No," Bryan said. He was going to try and get some more work done. Of course, if you want him there..."

"No, it's fine," Brent said. "I, um, want to meet with Dr. Drake alone again."

"That is fine Brent," Bryan said. "We understand it is easier for you to talk to him without us there. We don't mind."

"I, um, just, um, am a little more comfortable that way." Brent was looking down at the floor. He did not want to hurt Bryan or Matt.

"We understand," Bryan said lightly touching Brent's shoulder and feeling the boy jump. "But also know that there is nothing you are telling Dr. Drake that would change your relationship with us."

"Thanks Bryan," Brent said holding back his emotions. He could feel the tears in the corners of his eyes. It felt so good to have Bryan and Matt caring about him. "I, um, am going to get that shower now."

Bryan was watching as Brent was heading towards the bathroom. He could not help but watch the boy's firm butt flexing. The blonde kid was in good shape considering everything. Bryan had been pushing himself to stay ahead of the teenager. `I'm getting too old for that kind of running' Bryan thought as Brent was disappearing into the bathroom.

#

Good morning Matt," Albert greeted as Matt came into the office. "You are in early today."

"I'm still trying to get caught up," Matt said.

"Here are the messages that need your immediate response." Albert passed Matt the messages. "These others came from Lucey at the front desk. Some of them don't make sense."

"She does seem to have a problem getting the correct information," Matt said.

"Makes me wonder who she's sleeping with to get her easy job," Albert said.

"Be nice albert," Matt said but his lips were twitching up into a smile. He had often wondered that himself.

"I was going to call them back for you and see if I can figure out who they are and if they are urgent or not." Albert then pulled another note from the pad. "This young man has called several times in the last two days. He said it was a personal matter but he needed to speak to you about it. He only left me his phone number and name." Albert passed the message to Matt.

"I'll try and get him called back today," Matt said taking the message. "I'll get to these clients first. They are probably needing more of my attention right now."

"They are in order of priority," Albert said. "I number them and added project completion dates. I hope that helps."

"Thanks albert and, um, thanks for covering for me so much." Matt knew he had gotten lucky with getting the best assistant in the firm. He wondered if someone in personnel had put him and Albert together because they were both gay. Regardless of the reason, Matt was happy to have Albert as his AA.

"Anything for you," Albert said. "Now get to those calls. I'll work on deciphering Lucy's calligraphy."

Matt chuckled as he was moving into his office to start his days' work.

#

Brent was looking out his bedroom window watching Bryan mowing the yard. He was wishing Bryan had said something about needing to mow the yard before Brent had taken his shower. Brent felt a little guilty that he was not doing it. He would have been mowing at home. He never considered asking to pitch in. He would have to do that. He owed the two men too much to not do what he could with the household chores.

Brent left the window and went to his bed. He knew he had time before his appointment with Dr. Drake. He only needed to finish getting dressed. He had only pulled on a pair of light blue briefs after his shower. Brent flopped down onto the bed rolling onto his back. He tried not to think about his upcoming appointment with Dr. Drake. He did not want to think about the clinic. He wanted to think about Devyn. He wanted to remember their time together. He also wanted to remember those missing months between Devyn leaving and him waking up in the hospital. `Why can't I remember what happened?'

Closing his eyes Brent began concentrating on the memory of waking up in the hospital. He could remember the nurse finding him starting to wake up. He could hear the nurse saying his name. He could feel the nurse touching his arm.

#

That's it. Open your eyes for me." The nurse lightly touched Brent's forehead.

Brent tried to speak but could not get the words out. His throat was dry and he could not get his voice to work.

"You have been asleep for a long time," the nurse said.

Brent could remember how nice the man had been. He had tried to talk softly to Brent. He had brought Brent a cup of water and had helped him take the smallest of sips.

"Easy young man," he said lowering Brent back down to the bed. "it is going to take time for you to get everything to working again. You had a rough time of it."

"Where?" Brent managed to say but it was barely a Croke.

"The hospital," he said. "Everyone is going to be so excited you woke up, especially your friend."

"My friend?" Brent was not sure who the man was referring too.

"Your special friend, with the brown hair and those warm brown eyes." The man gave Brent a knowing smile. "He only comes when the coast is clear. He told me that your parents do not approve of the relationship. I'll let him know you are awake."

#

Brent's eyes popped open. He had not remembered this until just now. His first memory was waking up and his Mom being there. He must have slipped back to sleep. The nurse must have been talking about Devyn. Devyn had been sneaking into the hospital to visit him. He must have forgiven me' brent thought. Brent felt a small part of the weight lift from him. If Devyn was visiting him, then the guy must have understood. He had been sneaking in, so he must have known how unreasonable Brent's parents had been. Our reunion is going to be so good. If only my parents had not prevented Devyn from staying with me in the hospital. I needed him so much then. I still need him. I need his touch. I want his kiss.'

#

"I can't believe how understanding you are," Brent said.

"We both made mistakes," Devyn said. "At least now we don't have to hide from anyone."

"Matt and Bryan are awesome letting us stay here together," Brent said. "Letting us sleep here together."

Rolling onto his side, Devyn rub his hand across Brent's smooth chest. His finger lightly teasing one of Brent's little pink nipples. Leaning in Devyn kisses Brent's lips and then his neck. "We missed so much time together."

"We did," Brent said. "But we are together now."

"We are," Devyn agreed as he was kissing and licking the smooth skin of Brent's chest. Devyn's tongue circling Brent's nipple. It was getting closer and closer until it finally is flicking across the erect nub.

Brent gasps with the pleasure of Devyn's mouth. He runs his fingers through Devyn's thick brown hair. He is holding the boy to his chest and feels Devyn's hand sliding over his belly. Brent feels Devyn's fingers as they are entering his patch of blonde curls.

Devyn take's Brent's erection into his hand. He begins slowly stroking the blonde boy. He sucks on Brent's chest and then kisses his way down to Brent's teenage erection. He takes the tip of Brent's cock into his mouth and begins sucking on it.

"Oh yes," Brent moans. He spreads his legs more giving Devyn complete access to his erection and smooth balls.

Devyn swallows down Brent's teenage pre-cum. He slowly slides his lips down the shaft taking Brent into his mouth. He can hear the blonde moaning in pleasure.

Devyn's fingers move to Brent's smooth balls. He plays with them exploring each of the teenage eggs. He goes all the way down on Brent until his nose is in the soft blonde hair that surrounds Brent's cock.

Devyn is slowly stroking Brent with is mouth. His lips are tight against Brent's shaft as he is sucking up and down on the teenage cock. Brent is enjoying every movement of Devyn's mouth. It has his teenage juices flowing from the piss slit into Devyn's mouth.

"Oh Devyn, oh yes," he breathes. "I love what you do to me."

Devyn pulls off Brent's erection. He looks up to the deep blue eyes. "I love doing it to you."

"What else do you love doing to me?" Brent's lips curve up into a sexy smile.

"Oh, I think you know," Devyn said.

"I want you Devyn," brent said. "I need you."

"You got me," Devyn said. Leaning in he kisses Brent's cock. Devyn lifts Brent's balls. He begins giving those smooth eggs a tongue bath. He licks them all over and then he licks up and down Brent's dripping cock.

"Please Devyn do it," Brent almost begs.

Devyn kisses each of Brent's balls. He moves so he is between Brent's legs. He licks and sucks Brent's cock once more. Then he is looking up at Brent again. "Are you sure?"

In answer Brent lifts his legs up. He slips his arms behind his knees and pulls them to his chest. His smooth little pucker is exposed. "I am so ready."

Devyn smiles at the blonde before moving in close to the boy's pucker. He runs his tongue from ball sack to the little pink star. Devyn's tongue passes over that pucker and then is moving passed it. His tongue licks Brent's hairless crack. He then returns to the hole testing it with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh! Oh!" Brent is feeling wonderful sensations surging up his spine. He can feel his whole-body trembling with excitement.

Devyn stabs his tongue at Brent's pink star. He presses his tongue against that opening repeatedly he can feel it beginning to relax. He pushes against it again and the tip of his tongue penetrates the pucker.

"Ah!" Brent's teenage cock is jumping and twitching. His juice is leaking from the head and pooling on his belly. He is loving every touch of Devyn's tongue and Devyn's strong hands.

Using his thumbs, Devyn pulls at Brent's backdoor. He moves in again probing at it with his tongue. He can feel the pucker relaxing. He can feel the anal ring giving in to him. He can feel Brent's anal muscle relaxing.

"Ye s Devyn, yes!" Brent is in heaven now. He has everything he has ever wanted. He has the boy he loves and who loves him.

Devyn is pushing his tongue in deeper now. He is probing Brent's tight anal chute. He knows Brent is loving this but there is something he wants. He pulls his tongue from Brent's pucker. He looks up at his lover. "Now I want you, Brent." Devyn moves allowing Brent to lower his legs back down. "No don't move." Devyn places his hand on Brent's chest stopping the blonde from moving. "Stay just like that." Leaning down Devyn covers Brent's cock with his mouth again. He slurps up the precum that was coating Brent's teenage bone. His tongue then moves to Brent's belly licking up the juice that had pooled there. Devyn's tongue is darting into Brent's belly button slurping up that teenage juice.

After slurping up the teenage pre-cum juice Devyn kisses Brent's lips again. He pushes his tongue into Brent's mouth giving the blonde a chance to taste the juice that had just been slurped up.

"Mmm," Brent moans. "That always tastes better like that."

Devyn moves swinging his leg over Brent. He straddles the other boy and leaning over kisses Brent once more. Brent hugs Devyn tight his hands caressing the soft skin of Devyn's back.

The kiss breaks and Devyn is looking into Brent's blue eyes. "I love you Brent and I want you."

I love you too," Brent leans up and kisses Devyn quickly on the lips. Brent can feel his erect cock brushing against Devyn's as the two kiss again. Brent pushes his tongue into Devyn's mouth. He explores Devyn's oral cavity. He runs his hands over every inch of Devyn's body that he can reach.

Straightening up, Devyn moves so his body is in alignment with Brent's erection. He moves until his butt is right over Brent. He slowly lowers himself down until he feels Brent's slick head kiss his tight teenage pucker.

Brent grips Devyn's smooth cheeks. He holds them as Devyn lowers himself down. Brent feels his throbbing boner pressing against Devyn's tight sphincter. He feels Devyn pressing down harder and harder. Brent feels the anal ring parting and allowing his erection to slip inside.

"Ahah!" Devyn is moaning as he is trying to force his anal ring to relax and allow Brent's cock inside.

"Oh Devyn," Brent breathes as the head of his cock slides into Devyn.

"Oh Brent!" Devyn pushes hard and forcing his anal muscle to relax he takes more of Brent inside. Slowly he takes Brent deeper and deeper.

It is hard for Brent to not thrust up to force his teenage erection into Devyn. He holds back though allowing Devyn to do this at his own pace. He knows Devyn is not going to stop until all the teenage cock is inside.

Brent soon feels Devyn's butt pressing into his soft blonde curls. He knows now that all his cock is inside Devyn. Brent loves the feeling of them being joined together again.

Brent caresses Devyn's legs. Then his arms and chest. He loves the feeling of Devyn's tan skin. He loves teasing Devyn's reddish nipples. He loves the feeling of Devyn around him. "Oh, you are tight."

Devyn slowly begins moving up and down. His movements are slow and deliberate at first. He slides up and then back down. he lets Brent almost slip from inside of him but just before the cock pops free he slides back down.

Brent takes Devyn's erection and begins stroking him. he strokes it slowly. He can feel the pre-cum dripping from Devyn and onto his skin. He was always surprised at how much teenage milk Devyn would produce. It always seemed a lot more than Brent would squirt.

Devyn is moving faster now. His body riding up and down on Brent's erection. His tight anal muscles stroking and massaging Brent's cock. Brent is stroking Devyn faster. He rubs the cock head with his thumb smearing Devyn's juice around. He can hear Devyn moaning in pleasure.

"Oh Brent, oh yes!" Devyn is moving faster. He can feel the pleasure building.

Brent closes his eyes. He is just enjoying the feeling of Devyn's skin against his. He loves the feeling of Devyn's hands on his chest teasing his nipples. He feels Devyn leaning forward. He feels Devyn's hands on his chest and his fingernails slightly digging into his skin.

"Oh yes oh yes," Brent moans. He can feel his climax building. He can feel his balls pulling up. "I'm so close." Brent feels Devyn's nails digging into his skin. It is starting to hurt. He feels them scratching him. He knows they are leaving scrape marks on his chest and sides. Brent's eyes open and he is looking up but it is not Devyn's warm chocolate eyes with the gold flecks that he is looking into. The eyes Brent sees are hateful blue eyes. The blonde hair is hanging down as the nails are digging in deeper.

"NO Stop," Brent cries. He tries to push her off him but his hands are being restrained. "No Stop!" The whole bed is shaking now. He tries to move and throw her off but he cannot. "Please no more. Please stop!"

Brent struggles trying to break free from the restraints. He tries to push her off. He can hear her cold voice in his ears. He can feel her blood red nails digging deeper into his flesh. "Get off me! Stop! No more!"

#

Brent, Brent!" Bryan shakes Brent again. "Brent wake up."

Brent's eyes fly open. He pushes at Bryan. Brent hits Bryan and manages to push him back. He knocks the towel that was wrapped around Bryan to the floor. trying to force the man away. "No get away. Don't touch me!"

Bryan release Brent. He steps back. "Brent I'm sorry."

"Stay away." Brent rolls away. He realizes he is free now. He realizes it is Bryan and not Dr. Wilson.

"Brent," Bryan said. He reaches out to hold Brent but the boy pushes his hand away.

"No, don't touch me." Brent is breathing hard. His whole body is trembling with fear.

"It is just me Brent," Bryan said. "I heard you yelling and came to check on you. You were having a nightmare."

"A nightmare," Brent said he slowly begins to realize it was a dream. A horrible dream. But it was also real. It was also a memory.

"Are you alright?" Bryan asked after Brent's breathing begins to slow.

"It was a dream," Brent repeats. "I thought, it was," Brent cannot hold back the sobs. He cannot stop them this time.

Bryan is not sure if he should go to the teenager or not. He wants to hold him. he wants to comfort Brent but it always seems to make the boy more stressed. `Fuck it!' Bryan things move to Brent and putting his hand on the boy's bare back. "let it out Brent."

Brent flinches at the contact. He knows it is Bryan. He knows it and fights down the urge to pull away. Part of him wants the contact. Part of him wants to turn to Bryan. He wants to bury his face in that strong chest. He wants Bryan to hold him tight and let him ball like a baby into his chest.

"Get it out," Bryan repeats caressing Brent's back.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Brent repeats it over again. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream."

It takes several minutes for Brent to rein in his emotions. He finally gets himself under control. "I'm sorry Bryan."

"There is nothing to apologize for," Bryan said. "We all have nightmares."

"it was horrible," Brent sniffles. He can feel his eyes burning and he can feel the snot. He must look like a stupid kid.

"They can almost be more real than the here and now," Bryan said understanding the boy. "Do you want to talk about it."

"No, I just want to forget," Brent said.

"I can remember feeling like that," Bryan said. "You know I was a med tech." Brent nods and Bryan continues. "I saw some really bad stuff. I tried to forget it but it would pop back up in nightmares just like this. I wouldn't talk to anyone about it. Hell, I wouldn't even talk to Matt. Then one day after an event like this Matt forced me to talk about it. He pinned me down and said he was not letting me up until I told him about it."

"Did you?" Brent asked wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Here," Bryan said handing Brent the towel that had dropped to the floor.

Brent took it and wiped at his eyes and nose. He looked up into Bryan's blue eyes. He only saw warmth there. He saw tenderness and caring.

"Matt is a stubborn man," Bryan said his lips curving up into a smile. "he was not going to let me up until I told him. I could have thrown him off but I wasn't going to hurt him so I did tell him. He held me and allowed me to cry on his shoulders. Let me tell you it felt good to share the burden. He has shoulders big enough for any problem. He also has a heart that is unmatchable."

"He's awesome," Brent said softly.

"You want to tell me about the dream?" Bryan asked again.

"I, um, am not ready," Brent said.

"Will you tell Dr. Drake?" Bryan asked.

"Um, maybe," Brent shrugged his shoulders.

"Please talk to him Brent," Bryan pleaded. "He wants to help you. Matt and I want to help you."

"I know," Brent said looking down at the floor.

"I won't force it this time," Bryan said. "Just promise me you will talk to him."

"I will," Brent mumbles.

"Alright," Bryan rubs Brent's back again. "Now get dressed. We are going to have to leave soon."

Brent looks at Bryan and realizes for the first time the man is naked. His blonde hair is darker than usual. It is still wet from the shower. Brent realizes Bryan must have just gotten out of the shower when he heard Brent yelling. Brent's eyes travel over Bryan's defined chest, flat belly, and light brown pubic curls. He sees the man's cock hanging limply over the large balls. Brent can feel his ears starting to burn. He pulls his eyes off Bryan. "I'll, I'll get dressed."

"Don't take too long," Bryan said turning towards the door.

Brent looks at the man again. He looks at the broad shoulders, the muscular back and down at the hard buns. He can see the dark blonde hair along Bryan's crack. Brent closes his eyes. He knows he should not be looking at Bryan. He knows it but wants to look even more. He shivers with the memory of the nightmare. He wonders if he will ever be able to forget the memories of the clinic.

#

Matt was leaving work for the day. He was crossing to his car when he heard his name. For a split second after turning towards the voice Matt thought it was Devyn he was seeing in the distance. The young man was hurrying towards Matt and as he drew closer Matt could tell it was not Devyn. This guy was probably a few years older than Devyn. His hair was the same color but it was cut and styled perfectly. The Brown eyes were similar but they did not have those amazing golden specks that Matt remembered Devyn's eyes having. The man was attractive and there was a resemblance to Devyn, but this man was more polished and had an expensive taste in clothes that Matt did not remember Devyn having.

"You are Matt Chancellor?" he asks stepping closer to Matt.

"Yes," Matt said. "Can I help you?"

"Mr. Chancellor, my name is Alex Caldwell." Alex stopped only a little distance from Matt. "I am sorry to surprise you like this. I have called and left a few messages with your assistant."

"Right." Matt had only managed to get through the important messages. Then he had been called into a conference that seemed to last for hours. By the time he had gotten back to his desk he had forgotten all about the personal message Albert had given him. "I am sorry. I've been out of the office for a while and am still trying to get caught up."

"I understand," Alex said. "I just really need to talk to you. It is important. It's, it's about Brent."

Matt wondered if this guy was a reporter. He hoped that the names of the boys had not been released to the media. He did not think Brent could handle the circus that would create.

"Brent is my boyfriend." Alex could see the defensive posture of the man. He had not wanted to surprise Matt like this but he just could not wait any longer.

"Brent did not mention you," Matt said skeptically. He wondered if this guy was just trying to pump him for information.

"If we could just talk for a little while." Alex was ready to say anything to this man. He knew this was his best shot at getting to see Brent again.

"Let's go back up to my office," Matt said, leading the way back into the building.

"I really appreciate this Mr. Chancellor," Alex was following Matt through the lobby and back up to the man's office.

"Please take a seat," Matt said.

Alex sat in the chair facing Matt's desk. "Thank you for taking the time to listen to me."

"Brent has not mentioned you," Matt said. "If this is just some ploy to get information..."

"No Sir." Alex was nervous and excited at the same time. He knew that this man was his way back into Brent's life. "Brent's Mom told me about him not remembering me. I am partially responsible for his memory loss." Alex was looking down at the grey carpeting and then back at Matt. He then began explaining about meeting Brent. "He looked so lonely and I just wanted to be his friend."

"I'm sure he needed a friend." Matt was listening and surprised as Alex was explaining about their dating and relationship that Brent did not remember the boy.

"I took him to meet my parents at Christmas and that was when things went crazy." Alex could still see Brent's motionless body lying on the floor and the blood. He could still feel the fear that Brent would not wake up from the coma.

"That explains the memory loss." Matt could see the young man was sincere in his feelings for Brent.

"His parents blame me for Brent's injuries. They even served me with a restraining order. I got reserved this morning reminding me to not go near his home, school or where he is currently living." Alex had been furious at the Watsons. After all it had been the Caldwell's private investigator that had located Matt Chancellor. It had been Alex that had found their son for them and then they make sure he cannot see Brent. "It does not say anything about me seeing you."

"I do not know anything about a restraining order," Matt said. Alex pulled the folded-up papers from his pocket. Alex handed it to Matt. "I am supposed to avoid going near Brent. I cannot go to his house, school or near his current home." The part that it mentioned Brent's current home had made Alex realize that Brent was not back with his parents. He had decided that he needed to take things into his own hands. He was not going to wait patiently any longer. "They served me with the original one shortly after the assault. They would not even let me go to the hospital to visit while he was in the coma. I had to sneak in after visiting hours to sit by his bedside." Alex had that one nightshift nurse that had helped him slip in and out without anyone knowing. He made a mental note to go back and thank that guy. Maybe he should take the night shift something.

Matt's eyes skimmed through the court order. It did appear completely legitimate. "This does seem to be completely legal."

"I would like to see Brent," Alex said. "I've been searching for him for months. I hired a P.I. everything."

"I can tell you care about Brent a great deal." It had been obvious to Matt in how Alex had talked about Brent that the man had strong feelings regarding Brent.

"Mr. Chancellor, I love brent." Alex takes a breath and swallows. "I've never felt like this about anyone before. I want to help him. I want to help him recover his memory. I want to help him adjust to being gay."

"Alex," Matt began trying to pick his words carefully, "Brent is very emotionally fragile. He was put through hell at that clinic. Do you know about the clinic?"

"My P.I. located Brent at the clinic," Alex said. "I was trying to find a way to get him out of there when I learned he was missing. I guess he found his own way out."

"They did a number on Brent," Matt said. "Dr. wilson was taking some extreme measures to try and convert Brent."

"I was afraid it was something like that," Alex said. "He told me about his appointments with her. They were horrible for him. I wish I had done more to help him. He just wanted so badly for his parents to accept him."

"I think he still does," Matt said.

"I did everything I could to try and help Brent with his parents." Alex wondered if he should tell Matt about dressing up as Alexis. He decided to leave that alone for now. "Will you let me see Brent. Maybe I can help him with his memory. Maybe seeing me will help bring the memories back."

"I'll need to talk to brent's doctor," Matt said. "I do not want to do anything that might cause Brent to have a setback."

"I understand," Alex said. "I do not want to cause Brent any stress. He's been through too much."

"Plus, there is this restraining order." Matt passed the documents back to Alex. "The courts seem to believe that you are a danger to Brent."

"Do you think I am?" Alex had thought that this man had understood. He thought that Matt could tell that Alex is in love with Brent.

"I believe you Alex." Matt was leaning against the edge of his desk as he was looking down at Alex. "My biggest concern is Brent. I'm not going to do anything that will harm him or hinder his recovery."

"I understand that Mr. Chancellor. I do not want to do anything to hurt Brent. I just want to be there for him if he needs me. I'll have my attorney working on getting this thrown out." Alex holds up the pages of the restraining order. "It is bogus anyway. His parents did this to keep me and Brent apart."

"I can see richard doing that," Matt said.

"I think Brent's Mom is understanding her son a little better." Alex could remember his two meetings with Linda and then the night that she had been at his house with the police. "I have her talking to my Mom. I think she can help her understand what having a gay son is like."

"I guess your parents were more supportive than Brent's?" Matt could tell that Alex was one confident young man. Matt wondered how fate could be so cruel giving one boy understanding parents and both Brent and Devyn ended up with parents that would rather cause their sons so much mental anguish.

"Yes, when I told them they were completely accepting and supportive. I wish Brent had that kind of support."

"I'll talk to Brent's doctor at our next appointment. If he says it is alright, I'll mention you to Brent and see what he wants. It will ultimately be Brent's decision."

"I understand," Alex rose from the chair. "I'll give you my cell phone number. Call me anytime."

Passing Alex, a note pad he watches as the young man writes down the phone number. He wonders if this guy is what Brent needs to overcome what Dr. Wilson did to him.

"Thank you again Mr. Chancellor." Alex extends his hand.

"Please call me Matt." Matt takes the offered hand shaking it. Alex as a firm handshake.

"again, call me please," Alex said. "If Brent needs anything just let me know."

"I will Alex." Matt is walking to the door.

"Um, and maybe just call and let me know how he is doing." Alex eyes are pleading with Matt. He so wants to be back in Brent's life.

"I'll do that." Matt rests his hand on Alex's shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "We will keep you posted on Brent."

"Thanks." Alex leaves the office. He had hoped he would be able to see Brent tonight but knows better than to push it. He is closer than he has been to Brent. `Just a little while longer' he tells himself as he is leaving the building and walking towards his car.

#

"That does not sound that bad," Pete said after Alex had told him how the meeting with Matt had gone.

"I guess," Alex said dropping down by his friend. "I was just hoping he would ask me to follow him home so Brent and I could be reunited."

"Dude you showed him the restraining order." Pete shook his head. "What did you think he would do? Did you think he was going to violate a court order? Didn't you say he was trying to get guardianship of Brent?"

"Yes." Alex got back up off the sofa. He paced across the small living room again. Pete had been watching Alex bounce around the room since he had walked through the door. "If he and his husband can become Brent's guardians, then we might be able to have a future."

"Didn't you say Brent doesn't remember you?" Pete was watching Alex and there was no doubt that there was some anger behind the glare Alex shot him. "Well, you did." Pete's voice was a little defensive.

"He doesn't," Alex said. "At least that was what Linda told me."

"Do you believe she was lying?"

"no." Alex shook his head. "I think if Brent remembered me, he would find me. He would call me. He would show up at my house."

"You should have not told his dad and Mom where he was," Pete said.

Alex dropped back down on the sofa. Pete knew it would only be a few seconds and Alex would be back up pacing. Alex did not like not having control and he had been out of control where Brent was concerned since almost the beginning of their relationship. "That was all my Dad. He thought they had a right to know. He really doesn't understand how bad it has been on Brent. He doesn't understand how hard Brent's Dad was on him. He can't comprehend it."

"That's because he's a loving and supportive Dad." Pete watched as Alex bounced back up. The guy was driving him crazy with the pacing and jumping up and down from the sofa. "You got lucky. Brent did not."

"I know," Alex said looking down at his shirtless friend. "My parents are great. I wish Brent's had been. No one should have to go through what he did."

"I agree with you." Pete watched as Alex dropped back down beside him. "No one should be treated how Brent has been."

"Alex pulled his phone from his pocket. He checked to make sure he had not missed a call. "I just hope Matt tells him about me. I just hope we can get back what we had."

"You know Brent has been through a lot," Pete said softly. "He might not feel the same way as he did."

Alex shot Pete a look. He knew in his head that Pete had a point but, in his heart, he just wanted to slug the guy. "You don't understand."

"Alex, I know you want to hit me but I am your friend. I want you to be prepared. It has been months and Brent has been through hell. I saw the CNN report. They did not mention any of the boys' names but I knew enough to put it together. He went through hell."

"I know," Alex said hanging his head. "I know and he might not feel the same right now. He may not have those same feelings he did at Christmas but we might be able to have something even more special." Alex jumped up off the sofa looking at his phone. He had programmed every number the P.I. found for both Matt and his husband Bryan. He had work, home, and cell phones. He even had Matt's assistants' personal numbers. He had added them all to his priority caller list. He was not going to miss the call.

"Fuck!" Pete said as Alex began pacing again. "Enough! You are going to drive me crazy wit this bouncing off the walls."

"Sorry bud, Alex said stopping in the middle of the small room. "You want me to go?"

"No," Pete said. "It's your apartment to now."

Alex had been spending so much time with Pete that he had decided to give up his apartment and move in with the other college student. Pete had been having more trouble paying for college and Alex could easily afford to pay the rent. Pete had protested but Alex had pointed out that Pete was providing a lot of needed therapy. "if I had to pay for a therapist, it would cost me double your rent. We would both be saving money." Pete had relented and let Alex move into the apartment.

"Just take off your clothes and get into the bedroom," Pete said getting up from the sofa. "You need to be worked over and I'm not going to be gentle this time."

"You are stronger than you think," Alex said stripping off his shirt.

"Don't be a pussy," Pete said. "Strip down and get into the position."

Alex kicked off his shoes and pulled off is pants. He left everything on the sofa and then moved into the bedroom. He got on the bed. "You know we need to get you a table for this It would be easier for you to have me at the right height."

Pete straddled Alex's butt. He was rubbing his hands together to warm the oil. "It's alright, I like rubbing my cock against your hot little ass."

"Just be sure that is all you do back there," Alex said and then let out a sigh as Pete's hands went to work on him.

"Fuck you are tight," Pete said. "You are knotted up like a rope."

"Oh shit!" Alex moaned as Pete's fingers dug into his muscles. "Not so hard."

"You like it hard and you know it," Pete said. "Just relax and it will go easier on you."

"Fuck!" Alex cried as Pete's strong fingers were digging into the knotted-up muscles.

"Not so loud bitch," Pete said. "You are going to wake the neighbors."

#

Copyright 2021 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved. No copying, reposting, or distributing is permitted without the author's written consent.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. Thomas Paine

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. Thomas Paine