This is a fictional story that may involve sexual acts between two or more males. If this offends you, why are you here? If you are under the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any further. This story in no way represents any person living or dead. Any resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental.

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Sorry it has been so long between chapters. I had a computer issue and lost the latest chapter to Brent's Struggle and to Devyn's Struggle. Hopefully, this chapter turned out as well as my original. I should have the new chapter to Devyn's Struggle posted shortly after this one. Thanks for reading and for understanding. I look forward to your comments. Please send them to me at keith.96@att.net.

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.

Thomas Paine

Brent's Struggle Chapter 30

Brent was trying not to think about what was coming in the afternoon. He was trying to concentrate on just working out with Bryan. Bryan had let Brent skip school today and Brent had been relieved. He had been dreading having to go to school during the morning and then going to his first meeting with his parents in the afternoon. He knew he would not get anything out of his classes today and would not be able to think about anything but the meeting coming up this afternoon.

After letting Brent know that he did not have to go to school this morning, Bryan pulled Brent out to the workout room. It was in a shed on the property. Brent had originally thought it was just a storage shed but then learned that it had a full workout room in it with heat and air conditioning. "Um, thanks for letting me skip classes this morning." Brent had just finished on the exercise bike and was looking at Bryan lifting the weight bar back into the brackets. Brent mopped at the sweat he had worked up while on the bike. Even with the AC running the room was still warm when you were working out.

Bryan sat up and looked over at Brent. The teenager had worked up a good sweat on the bike. "I know that you would only be driving yourself crazy about this afternoon. There was no point making you also set through classes that you were not going to get anything out of today.

Brent's eyes slid over Bryan's chest and arms. The man was shirtless after having finished his set on the weight bench. Every one of the man's muscles were popping out. Brent's eyes watched a drop of sweat sliding down Bryan's chest and between his two pectoral muscles. "Um, Matt left early this morning."

"He had some work to get done." Bryan got up and grabbed a towel. He first wiped down the bench and then wiped some of the sweat from his face.

Brent watched Bryan's nylon shorts cling to every hard curve of the man's ass. "Is he, um, going to be able to be there this afternoon?" Brent felt like a stupid kid asking but he did not want to face his parents without both Bryan and Matt beside him.

"He won't miss it, Brent. Nothing short of a cataclysm will stop him from being there for you. Now get over here and get your set in."

As Brent was moving to the bench, Bryan was adjusting the weight on the bar. "He's working a lot these days." Brent sat on the bench and was looking right at Bryan's muscular chest. Brent's tongue ran across his lips as he could see even more beads of sweat cascading over Bryan's chest.

"That happens when he starts a new project." Bryan finished adjusting the weights to Brent's level.

"It isn't because of me, is it?" Brent was worried that the time Matt had missed from work had caused the man some problems.

"Don't worry about it Brent." Bryan patted Brent on the back. "It happens all the time. New projects are more demanding on Matt's time. He's been slacking off on his exercise routine. You and I will have to double team him this weekend. You think you are up for that?"

Bryan's words of double-teaming Matt sent a whole new image into Brent's mind. He could feel his teenage body responding to the ideas the words put into his mind. "I, um sure."

"Good. Now let's get your set done." Bryan moved to the head of the bench to spot Brent.

Brent stretched out on the bench. He reached up and grabbed the weight bar. From his position he could look right up Bryan's shorts. It made the image of a video Brent had seen online pop into the teenager's mind. The two guys had been working out. Both guys were shirtless and only wearing shorts. Just like he and Bryan were right now. The guy on the bench had been looking right up the leg opening looking at the other guy's cock. It had ended with the guy on the bench doing more cock sucking than weightlifting.

Bryan was counting off as Brent was lifting. Brent was trying to push the erotic images out of his head. He could feel his teenage cock responding to the thoughts in his mind. He had to get these ideas out of his head or he was going to end up with a tent pole in his blue shorts. Brent was still having trouble getting to an orgasm. He wondered if he should go back and check out that video again. Apparently working out was giving his cock some needed motivation. Brent pushed the thoughts away and focused on lifting. He could feel his arms getting weak with the last few reps.

"Come on, two more. Yes, push through it." Bryan had his hands in position to help Brent get the bar back into the brackets. "Good job."

Brent could feel the burn in his chest and arms. He sat up rubbing his arms. He tried to push the idea of sucking Bryan out of his head. He had seen Bryan naked before and that image was just as hot as any of the stars in the videos Brent had watched online.

"You are doing great Brent. You are starting to put on a little muscle." Bryan pulled a couple bottles of water out of the refrigerator in the corner of the room. "Cool down a little bit." Bryan handed one of the bottles to Brent.

"Thanks." Brent opened the water and took a long drink. He was watching Bryan doing the same. He could see the man's bicep flex and the man's dark blonde hair under his arm. Brent had a momentary thought to push his face into that pit. He wanted to suck on each of Bryan's nipples. He tried to push the thoughts out of his head. He knew if he did not, that Wilson would end up in his mind telling him how perverted those thoughts were. Brent wondered if she might be right this time. With Bryan being like a father figure, maybe sexual thoughts about the man were perverted.

"Let's go hit the showers and then we can go out for lunch before the meeting." Bryan was watching the teenager closely. He had thought he had seen Brent becoming aroused on the bench. He almost hoped the boy was. A teenage boy like Brent should be popping boners all the time.

"Um, Bryan, what if, um, what if they want to send me home with my parents?" That was Brent's biggest fear. He was afraid that this whole meeting was just a way to pull him away from Matt and Bryan.

"Just put that thought out of your mind. It is not going to happen. This is just for us to meet with the social worker and your parents."

"But what if..."

"Brent, we will not let that happen. Only the judge can change the guardianship order and we would have to be served first. It is not going to happen. Besides, if it does, we have kidnapped you once before."

"Right."

"Now hit the shower. You are starting to smell."

"You are just smelling yourself."

Bryan lifted his arm and took a big whiff. "You are right. I stink."

Brent could not stop himself from giggling at Bryan. The man could be silly sometimes. "I think it is actually both of us."

"Then let's go shower." Bryan put his arm around Brent's shoulders. He felt the boy tense up but Brent did not pull away. The boy was making some progress.

#

Bryan glanced over at the teenager. He could see that Brent was still stressed and he could not blame the boy. Going to face his parents for the first time had to be hard on the teenager. "You did not eat much at lunch."

"I, um, am just not very hungry." Brent felt a little guilty about not showing more enthusiasm at the restaurant that Bryan had taken them to for lunch. The food was always good there but Brent could not force himself to be excited about anything he just wanted this day over with.

"Try and relax Brent."

"I wish I could. I know you say that they aren't going to take me home with them today but..."

"They aren't Brent. Matt and I will not let that happen." Bryan reached over and gave Brent what Bryan hoped was a reassuring squeeze on the back of the teenager's neck.

"But then why does the social worker want to meet with us before we meet with them?"

"She is just interviewing us to make sure that a couple old queens like me and Matt are taking good care of you."

"You guys aren't old," Brent said.

"Oh, but we are a couple queens, huh. Just don't say anything about how we dress you up in drag."

Bryan saw Brent's lips curve up into a smile. He hoped the boy was going to hold it together today. He could still see the stress in every muscle of Brent's shoulders and neck. Maybe they should take Brent to a massage therapist. Someone needed to work the knots out of the boy's knotted up muscles.

"I don't see Matt." Brent's eyes were scanning the parking lot looking for Matt.

"He will be here Brent. We are a little early. Bryan found a parking spot and pulled into it. He turned off the car and reached over to massage the back of Brent's neck. "Damn you are tight soldier."

Brent had started to tense up at the touch but had forced down that automatic response. He was getting better about that. Bryan was always touching him. There would have been a time when Bryan's casual touches would have caused Brent to have a whole different response. He wondered if he would ever get over that automatic flinching response.

Brent and Bryan only had to wait a couple of minutes before Matt's SUV pulled in beside them. The front of the vehicle had been fixed from where Matt had driven it through the gates of Wilson's clinic.

"How are you doing Brent?" Matt asked after they had stepped from their respective cars.

"Um alright." Brent felt better now that Matt was also here. He felt their sides were evenly matched. The only other person that could have made him feel any safer right now was Devyn.

"Just relax," Matt said, patting Brent's shoulder. "We are just here to talk and that is it."

They walked together into the building. Gloria met them warmly and showed them into their casual conference room. The room was large. On one side was a typical conference table surrounded by several chairs. The other side was set up like a typical living room. There was a couch, a large round coffee table, a couple end tables and four easy chairs spaced around the table.

"Go on and take a seat," Gloria said, indicating the sofa and chairs.

Matt led them to the sofa and sat down. Brent sat beside Matt and Bryan sat on Brent's other side.

"You doing alright Brent?" Gloria's voice was tinged with her concern. She could see the stress in Brent's expressive eyes and the tension in his shoulders.

"Yes." Brent answered, his voice was soft.

"I know these first meetings can be stressful." Gloria was sitting in the chair closest to Matt. She was leaning forward focusing on Brent. "Just relax and you will see just how easy this can go."

"Sure." Brent wanted to relax but he knew he was not going to until this was over.

"How is school going? "

"Fine," Brent said.

Gloria continued to ask Brent questions but was only getting a yes or no answer. Sometimes he would answer with I guess or I don't know. "You are a man of few words."

"Look, I just want to get this over with. My parents fucked up by sticking me in that hell hole and now I'm messed up. I know that but Matt and Bryan want me anyway. Just send me home with them."

"When he does talk, he doesn't hold back." Matt reached over and gave Brent's knee a reassuring squeeze. "He's just a little worried that he's going to be forced to leave with his parents."

"Don't worry about that Brent," Gloria said. "Only a judge can terminate the guardianship order and that is not happening. You will go home with Matt and Bryan no matter how well this visit goes today."

Brent felt only a little reassurance at Gloria's words. It was only a few minutes later that Gloria left to show Brent's parents to the room.

Brent got up from the sofa and paced the room. "I'm not sure I can do this."

Matt got up to meet Brent as the teenager was pacing. "Of course, you can. You are the strongest person I know. You have survived everything else that has been thrown at you. Trust me that you can handle this." Matt gripped Brent's shoulders. He felt just the slightest flinch. It seemed Brent was getting better at controlling his immediate response to physical contact.

Matt heard the footsteps outside the door. He released Brent and stepped back. He watched as Brent took a deep breath trying to calm himself.

Gloria showed Richard and Linda Watson into the room. Brent's parents looked older to the teenager. He thought he saw more grey in Richard's hair. Linda looked like she had lost some weight and she seemed to have a couple more wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. Her face lit up when she saw Brent.

"Oh Honey," she said and went towards Brent.

Linda's blonde hair and blue eyes cause Brent to remember Wilson. He could feel her hand on him. As Linda was reaching to hug Brent, Brent could feel Wilson touching him. He could feel her forcing him. "No! Don't touch me. Don't!"

Matt moved quickly putting himself between Brent and his parents.

"Honey," Linda said, her eyes displaying her hurt. "I was just going to..."

"No, don't touch me."

"He doesn't like to be touched," Matt said, moving to block Linda who was trying to go around him to get to Brent.

"Get out of our way," Richard demanded. "We want to see our son."

"You can see him. You can talk to him but you cannot hug him right now." Matt stood his ground staring down Richard. "Brent is not ready for that yet." Matt was looking at Linda as he spoke and touched her arm when she tried once again to go around him. "He needs more time."

"You fucking..."

"Let's all just take a breath," Gloria said. She could see the men were going to be a problem escalating the situation. "Let's all just take our seats."

Matt and Richard continued to glare at each other for another moment. Then Matt turned and faced Brent. "Let's go sit down."

Brent moved with Matt going around the chairs and coffee table back to the sofa. Bryan was standing there waiting on them. They took their seats. Brent once again between Matt and Bryan.

Gloria returned to her seat where she had left her folder on Brent and her notepad. Linda went to the other chair that would put her closer to her son. Richard took a seat across from Matt. Richard's posture was tense portraying the man's confrontational attitude.

"I have read through the reports from Dr. Drake." Gloria's voice was calm but strong as she spoke. "Due to the trauma Brent suffered, he does have issues with physical contact. He's going to need time to fully recover from what he suffered."

"Oh honey," Linda's voice was filled with her concern for her son.

"You do not know how worried we were when we did not know where you were," Richard said. "You worried your mother to death running away like that."

Matt could not believe it. It sounded like Richard was going to scold Brent for running away. They had gone with the run-a-way story to help keep Miguel and Red's involvement out of the reports. Matt and Bryan also needed to stay clear of the possible kidnapping charges or they would have never been able to be Brent's guardians.

"We love you honey," Linda said. "We just wanted you to get better."

"If you wanted to come home, you should have called us." Richard's voice still sounded like he was scolding a misbehaving teenager. "I'm not sure why you would call someone you barely know."

"Oh, come home so you could just send me right back into that hell. No fucking way."

"Let's try and stay calm and choose our words carefully," Gloria said.

"We thought the treatment was helping," Linda said. "You were making such progress."

"I still do not understand why things went so wrong. You were doing so good before Christmas." Richard was looking at Brent but occasionally, his eyes would flick over to Matt.

"I, um, don't really remember Christmas or much else from that year. My, um, memory still hasn't fully returned." Brent hated the hole in his memory. The last Christmas he remembered was the one when he and Devyn had been together. It had been just before that Christmas that they had finally given into their feelings for each other. It had been in Brent's bedroom with wrapping paper and bows all over the place that they had confessed their feelings to each other. It had been there that they had kissed, hugged, and wanted to explore every aspect of their relationship together.

"You were dating that sweet girl, Cassie. I thought you and her had something special." Linda was studying Brent to see if the girl's name would cause the boy to remember.

"I, um, don't remember her." The only girl Brent could remember dating was Tracy. They had broken up though. He remembered that happening shortly after Devyn had disappeared.

"What about Alexis," Richard said. "You were dating her too. She was a special girl."

Linda shot a look at Richard at the mention of Alexis. It looked like Richard was more fond of Alexis than Linda.

"Um, no, I don't remember her either," Brent said. He could feel his tension rising. He hated That he couldn't remember. He thought things would be clearer if he could just fill in that missing gap.

"That's why I don't understand." Richard started again without even acknowledging that Brent had said anything. "You had these two girls and your friends. I don't know why you ended up at that party and getting hurt."

"Party?" Brent could feel something flickering at the back of his mind. He just could not pull it forward.

"Maybe we shouldn't focus on the past," Gloria said.

"If you had just behaved. If you had just dated the girls and hung out with Darrin, everything would have been fine."

"Oh, so it's my fault." Brent could feel himself getting mad. He could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes. "You locked me into a hell hole and it's my fault. It's all my fault. Of course, it is. I should have..." Brent's voice trailed off. He felt Matt's strong hand on his knee. He felt Matt's reassuring presence sitting there next to him.

"Take your hand off my son. He doesn't like being touched." Richard was glaring at Matt and Matt's hand squeezing Brent's knee.

Matt had reached out to Brent without thinking. He wanted to hug the boy but he also did not want to cause the teenager any more distress. He had squeezed Brent's knee to help the boy calm down and to pull him from the train of thought that Brent was having. Matt took his hand from Brent's knee but it was quickly captured by Brent's hand.

"He can touch me anytime," Brent put Matt's hand purposefully back on his leg. He put his hand over Matt's larger hand to hold it in place. Brent considered putting Matt's hand a lot higher on his leg but thought that might just cause way too many problems. "At least he cares about me. At least he wants to do what is best for me." Brent shifted his position leaning his body more against Matt. He glared at Richard daring the man to say anything.

"Honey, we care about you. We love you." Linda's words had cut across what Richard had been about ready to say.

"If you cared, you would not have sent me away. You would have not locked me up with that crazy bitch. You have no idea what she did to me."

"She was helping you," Richard said. "She was treating you."

"Treating me! Treating me!" Brent's voice was growing louder and a little more shrill with each word. "She was not treating me. She was fucking torturing me."

"You cannot treat someone for being gay," Matt said. "All you needed to do was support him."

"You shut up." Richard barked loudly.

"Let's stay calm," Gloria said. She turned to face Richard. "Matt is correct. You can not treat being gay. It is not a disease. It is something that you need to learn to accept in your son."

Matt doubted that Richard would ever be able to accept Brent being gay. He was not sure that the man had that ability inside him. He could feel Brent holding his hand tighter. He could feel the tension in the way Brent was gripping him.

"We can do that," Linda said. She was looking at Brent. "We love you honey and when you come home you will see..."

"No!" Brent felt his worst fear. He was not going home with them. He was not. He released Matt's hand and bolted up from the sofa and towards the door. Before anyone could stop him, Brent was out the door.

"Go," Matt said looking at Bryan but Bryan was already moving to follow Brent.

"Brent," Linda said toward the teenager who was already through the door.

Matt knew Bryan would be able to help Brent. He wanted to run after them but thought one of them should try and stay here to deal with this mess. "He's still very easily upset." Matt could see the hurt in Linda's eyes. He could not stop himself from thinking that if she had just gone after her son that day when he had told her to, that she would not be feeling as much hostility from Brent.

"This is your fault." Richard had jumped to his feet and was now facing Matt. He took a step towards the other man. "If it had not been for your interference and that Roberts kid this would not be happening now."

"Brent is gay. There is nothing that is going to change that." Matt was trying to keep his voice level but he was sure his frustration with Richard was starting to show through.

Richard appeared to not even hear Matt's words. "That perverted Roberts kid messed Brent up. He molested him, he manipulated him into performing those disgusting acts. Hell, he probably raped him."

Matt's jaw clenched. He could feel his blood beginning to boil. "All Devyn did was love Brent and Brent loved him. There is nothing wrong with that."

"He was a pervert," Richard said, his voice growing louder. "He deserves everything he got." Richard took another step towards Matt.

"We need to calm down," Gloria said, jumping between the two men. She had seen this escalating and wanted to stop it.

"The only one that is sick is you. Brent is a wonderful boy. He is caring, smart, responsible and just a damn good kid. You should be honored to have such a good kid but you cannot see past your narrow-minded bigoted views. You don't deserve a wonderful son like Brent!"

"Please gentlemen calm down," Gloria's voice was a little more frantic now. Matt's whole body was tensed up. His hand was curled into a fist. "Please remember why we are here."

Matt glared at Richard for a moment longer and then stepped back. "I'm sorry. I am not normally so antagonistic."

"We all need to take some deep breaths. We need to consider why we are here."

"Yes, to help Brent," Linda said. "Richard please, come and sit down."

Richard glared at Linda as if not sure he had heard her correctly. He then returned his icy gaze back to Matt. "I just want MY son to get the help he needs." Richard had put extra emphasis on the word `my'. He wanted Matt to remember just whose son Brent was.

"That is all I want." Matt's voice was calm but anyone would still be able to see the tension in his body.

"Is everything alright?" Bryan had come back into the room. He had his arm around Brent as if holding him from running off again.

Matt turned and took a couple steps to Brent. "You alright?" His voice was soft and his touch to Brent's arm gentle.

Brent nodded and looked from Matt to his parents and to Gloria. "I, um, sorry if, I, um, overreacted."

"It's quite alright," Gloria said. "Please come and sit back down. We are all going to remain calm." Her eyes moved from Richard to Matt.

Bryan and Matt led Brent back over to the sofa and took their seats. "I'm sure Dr. Drake mentioned in his reports that Brent has PTSD. It's something he and I have in common." Bryan could see the surprise in Linda's eyes. "Sometimes it manifests in a fight or flight response. Brent ran."

"You have PTSD?" Linda asked, looking at Bryan.

"Yes, from my time in the Marines."

"You were a Marine?" Richard did not try to hide the astonishment in his voice.

"Yes, I joined shortly after graduating high school." Bryan's eyes were like blue ice as they looked at Richard. "I served two tours in Afghanistan."

"We did not know," Linda said.

"That is what these meetings are for. So, we can all get to know each other better and do what is best for Brent."

"That is for me to stay with Matt and Bryan." Brent's voice was soft but the words were easily heard.

"That is what the judge has decided," Gloria said. "Only the judge can change that and he would need recommendations from me, Dr. Drake and others before changing that order. It is not going to happen today. It is going to take several of these visits before we can consider any major steps like that."

Brent felt some relief at Gloria's words. He knew they just needed to do as Matt had said after the hearing. Drag out these visits and soon Brent would be eighteen and beyond the control of his parents.

#

Matt was watching Brent sitting out on the back deck. The boy had been silent on the drive home and had slipped out onto the back deck. He was just sitting there watching the sun creeping lower in the sky.

"It was a rough day for him." Bryan stepped up behind Matt and slid his arms around him.

"It was a rough day for all of us." Matt leaned back enjoying the feeling of Bryan's arms.

"You know, when I walked back into that room with Brent, I actually thought I might see you hit Richard. I don't think I've seen you so, um pissed before."

"He pushed some buttons I never knew I had. I just could not manage him talking trash about Devyn." Matt's voice caught on the name.

"Sure, talk crap about someone who is not here to defend themselves."

Matt turned so he was looking at Bryan. Bryan's arms never left Matt. "He's never going to be able to accept Brent."

"Then it is a good thing Brent has us." Bryan placed a soft kiss on Matt's lips.

"I know it's a good thing I've got you." Matt kissed Bryan a little harder.

"You know it was quite a turn on today watching you all pumped up and macho like that. It got me kind of excited."

Matt's lips curved up into a smile. He could feel Bryan's hand sliding down his back to grip his butt cheeks. "A strong breeze can get you excited."

"Nothing gets me excited like you do." Bryan took his hand from Matt's butt and gripped Matt's hand. He guided it to his basket. "See what you do to me when you get all pumped up and ready to deck some homophobic asshole."

"Wow, all that for me." Matt gave the man's basket a couple gentle squeezes.

Bryan leaned in nuzzling Matt's neck. His lips were close to Matt's ear. "Oh, yeah, and it's been a while so..."

"So maybe we should do something about that tonight."

Bryan moved so he could look into Matt's eyes. His hands were on Matt's chest. "Why wait?" Bryan's fingers nimbley began unbuttoning Matt's shirt. Bryan parted the folds of fabric and slid his hands inside the shirt. He could feel the heat of Matt's body. He could feel the soft hair of Matt's chest as his fingers roamed across it. Bryan found Matt's nipples and teased them with his fingers.

"Bryan," Matt moaned, not able to control himself from enjoying the man's ministrations. "Oh, damn that feels..."

"Good, now who's getting excited." Bryan leaned in kissing Matt again.

Matt's arms went around Bryan momentarily giving into the passion for the other man. "Brent could come in."

"It might do him good to see two men in a loving physical relationship." Bryan pushed Matt's shirt open further. His lips kissing their way from Matt's lips down his neck and to his shoulder.

Matt had a tough time disagreeing with Bryan. The boy might benefit from seeing two men making love to each other but it could also backfire and cause him to have a setback. Bryan knew that as well as Matt. "We can't get carried away."

"Always the responsible one." Bryan kissed Matt's lips again. "But you owe me now. You've got me ALL worked up."

"Oh, I did huh," Matt kissed Bryan then. "Then I guess later on I'll just have to pay up and give it to you."

"Oh yes Babe. I'm holding you to that." Bryan moved his hand to fondle Matt's basket. He could feel that his lover had gotten excited and he wanted to have Matt right then.

The two men kissed long and deep. They were so involved with each other that they did not see Brent get up from the chair on the deck and come inside. Brent had stopped after coming in at seeing the two men there holding each other and kissing. He had caught them being intimate. before but never quite like this. The passion they felt for each other was obvious. He considered slipping past them but was sure he would not get away with that. He pulled the door closed loudly and coughed. The two men broke their lip lock and turned towards the sound. "Um, sorry, I, um..."

"No problem," Bryan said, pulling his hand from inside Matt's open shirt and taking his other hand from Matt's crotch. "We were just kissing."

Brent thought it looked like the two men had been doing a bit more than just kissing. Brent's eyes flicked over Matt's open shirt and the hairy chest that it exposed. He wondered for a moment what that hair felt like to Bryan. "I, um, saw." Brent could feel his ears burn a bit. "I, um, didn't mean to, um..."

"It's alright." Bryan's lips twitched at the corners as he saw the soft shade of pink on Brent's face.

"Do you want to talk, Brent?" Matt asked. "I mean about today or anything?"

"No, I was just going to go to bed but I wanted to, um, say thanks for, um, being there for me today."

"You don't have to thank us for that," Matt said. "It is still early. Don't you want to stay up for a while? We can watch a movie or something. I saw that Netflix added some new ones today."

"We could watch that vampire show," Bryan said. "I know you like that one."

"Bryan likes that one too," Matt said, his lips twitching. "He thinks that lead actor is hot."

"Well, he is," Bryan said innocently.

"Um, thanks guys but, um, well I think I'll just turn in. I'm not sure I want to watch anything."

"It might help if you talk about what happened today," Matt said. He did not want Brent to keep the day's emotions all bottled up. He knew that was not healthy for the teenager.

"I'm not sure how I feel," Brent admitted. "I'm so fucked up. I've been fucked up ever since..."

Matt and Bryan moved towards Brent. "I'm sure you are confused," Matt said.

"You probably feel royally pissed off at your parents. You may even think you hate them and you feel guilty for feeling that way." Bryan's blue eyes were looking into Brent's.

"How, how do you know?"

"You and I are a little similar there soldier," Bryan said. "My family was not accepting like Matt's."

"However, what you feel is exactly how you should feel," Matt said. "It is what you do about it that matters."

Brent felt his chest growing tight. He knew now he needed to be honest with Matt and Bryan. He needed to tell them the rest. It might cost him their friendship but Matt was right that actions mattered. "I, um, think I should tell you..."

"Tell us what Brent," Matt said, moving even closer. He reached out, taking Brent's bare forearm in his hand. The teenager's skin was cold. "You should have been wearing a jacket. You feel like ice."

"I've fucked everything up," Brent said. "You should just kick me out. Just throw me away."

"Brent, we will never do that," Matt said

"You don't know what I did," Brent said. He was looking down at the floor. He could not meet Matt's eyes.

"Is this about Devyn?" Matt's voice was soft. He wanted to help the teenager.

"Yes," Brent said.

"You told us about being caught and not helping him when his folks kicked him out," Bryan said. "We understand that."

"There is more," Brent said. "I didn't tell you everything."

"You can tell us Brent." Matt's voice was soft. He could see whatever the boy had not told them before was eating at him.

"I avoided Devyn at school that whole week," Brent began. His voice was soft. "I was so mixed up. My parents had taken me to see Dr. Wilson and she had me so confused. She was telling me that Devyn had forced me and manipulated me. I knew he had not. I knew the truth but I let her twist it."

"She was someone that you were supposed to trust Brent," Matt saidt. "It is understandable."

"No, nothing excuses what I did. He, um, showed up at the house that weekend. He wanted to talk. I don't know how long he waited out there in the cold for my parents to leave. I let him in. He told me he loved me and I, and I..." Brent could feel the tears starting he was not going to be able to stop them. He knew that and it was going to hurt even more when Matt turned his back on him. "I told him he was sick and perverted. I told him that being gay was a disease and he needed to get help. I told him those lies that Wilson filled me with. I repeated them even though inside I knew they were not true. He came to me needing help and I, and I..."

"Oh Brent," Matt pulled the teenager to him. He could only imagine how this must have been eating at the teenager.

"Devyn told me I wasn't the person he fell into love with. I told him to get out. I told him to get out and not to come back. He was so angry. He was so mad." Brent was expecting Matt to push him away. He was expecting them to throw him out. He deserved it. He had turned his back on his best friend.

Matt held Brent tighter. The boy's body was shaking with his sobs. Matt's strong hand was caressing up and down Brent's back.

Brent could not believe it. Matt was holding him. Even after what he had just told him, the man was holding him tighter. Brent put his arms around Matt. He buried his face into Matt's chest and sobbed.

Bryan moved up behind Brent and infolded both Brent and Matt into a hug. With Brent sandwiched between them, the two men held the crying teenager. Their eyes met over Brent's head. Bryan could see the tears glistening in Matt's eyes. Bryan was not sure if they were for Brent, Devyn, or both of them.

Matt wondered if this was Brent's second big step towards recovering. That first break down after the custody case and now this one. Maybe the teenager was making some strides towards overcoming all he had been through.

Brent was not sure how long they stood there like that. He had never felt quite as safe and as cared for as he did right then with both men holding him. He thought Matt and Bryan might have gone on holding him for hours. He thought he might let them. His sobs were starting to lessen and he could feel the soft hair of Matt's chest tickling his nose. He suddenly wondered if Devyn was starting to grow any chest hair. He wondered what that would feel like. Matt's was soft against his cheek.

Bryan was the first to move. He stepped back once he had felt and heard Brent's sobs stop. He went to grab some tissues for the teenager. He thought Matt might just need some as well.

Brent slowly moved back from Matt. He looked up at Matt. "I'm sorry."

"You need to stop apologizing," Matt said. "You did nothing wrong. In fact, this is good."

"Good?" Brent asked, sniffling. "You want me to be a crying snotty mess?"

"We want you to talk about your feelings," Bryan said, handing both Brent and Matt tissues.

"It isn't healthy to keep everything bottled up," Matt said dabbing at his eyes.

"Did you, did you cry?

"No one in this house cries alone," Matt said. "It's a rule my mom had."

"I'm sorry," Brent said, wiping his nose.

"Don't be," Matt said. "Real men cry."

Brent blew his nose and Bryan handed him another tissue. "You two are a mess."

"Oh right, you macho Marines never cry," Matt said sarcasm in every word.

"I'm sorry." Brent began but both Matt and Bryan cut him off telling him to stop apologizing.

"I just feel so stupid," Brent said.

"Don't," Bryan said. "Matt is right that real men do cry. I've seen some of the toughest Marines break down. It is normal and healthy."

"Do you want to tell us the rest?" Matt asked after Brent had settled down.

"There really isn't more to tell. I saw him a few more times at school but we never talked. I know I hurt him. I should have gone with him that day he showed up at my door."

Matt almost wished Brent had. Maybe then Devyn would be alive and the two would be safe and together right now.

"I didn't know where he was living but thought maybe he had come to stay with you. He told me about the fight at the construction site and how you gave him your card. That's how I knew your number. Devyn left the card with me by accident. I looked at it when I no longer saw him at school. I guess I memorized the number. I dialed the number once but hung up after the first ring. I was afraid to find out that Devyn hated me."

Was that why Devyn had never called Matt. Was it as simple as the kid not having the number? Matt kicked himself for not finding a way to check in on the teenager. "I never spoke to Devyn after that last time at the job site." Matt knew he could not tell Brent now about Devyn. That would need to wait until the teenager was a little stronger.

"Will you help me find him? I need to tell him I'm sorry. I don't expect him to forgive me but I must tell him. I can't live with not telling him how stupid I was."

"We will see if we can find him," Bryan said. He met Matt's eyes over Brent's head. They both knew that Brent was going to feel even more guilt knowing that Devyn had died.

"Maybe he went to his grandma's," Brent volunteered. He could remember meeting the lady at Christmas and how fond she had been of her grandson. "She lives somewhere in Florida. Maybe that is why I never saw him at school after a while.

"He just stopped showing up at school?" Matt asked.

"Yes," Brent said. "His girlfriend Sue asked me what happened to him, but I didn't know. I, um, I..." Brent hung his head in shame.

"Go on Brent tell us." Bryan put a comforting hand on Brent's shoulder and he did not think he felt the kid flinch at all this time.

"I kind of let her think Devyn had started doing drugs. I can't believe she believed me. Devyn would never do that. That conversation with Sue is like the last clear memory I have until I woke up in the hospital." Brent looked up from the floor into Matt's green eyes. "So, you will find him so I can talk to him. I know he's going to hate me. Hell, I'd hate me but I still need to talk to him."

"We will find him," Matt said.

"Thanks!" Brent threw himself at Matt and put his arms around the man. He hugged Matt tight. It was the first time that Brent had even initiated a physical contact.

Matt put his arms around Brent and wondered just how bad the boy was going to be hurt when they did tell him about Devyn.

#

Copyright 2021 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved.

No copying, reposting, or distributing is permitted without the author's written consent.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it. Thomas Paine

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. Thomas Paine

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture. Thomas Paine

Character is much easier kept than recovered. Thomas Paine