Brian and Justin

Just Beginning (Chapter 41) Written by JM

*** 'Just when I thought I was to be alone forever...' This is the continuation to the series 'Brian & Justin'. This story involves a romance between celebrities, mainly that of Brian Littrell (of the Backstreet Boys) and Justin Timberlake (of 'N Sync). If you are offended by this kind of material, please do not read this series. If you have not read the first series, please do not read this one yet. I'd like you to know the story of Brian and Justin's saga. Otherwise, enjoy as we continue to drift into the lives of Brian & Justin and their friends. Any comments for me, please send to: lionclaw@bellsouth.net ***

*** Welcome to the second chapter of 'Brian & Justin', perfectly titled by David as 'Just Beginning'. I do hope you like this series and I hope to bring you as much joy and sorrow as the first series. As always, read stories like 'N Sync Love', 'Lost And Found' and 'The One' for good storyline. Special thank you to my inspiration and my "Blue", Leprechaun. Read 'Bad Boy B-Rok' for his work of art. And I have to thank my big bro CJ who writes 'My Night With Howie D'. Read that story, it is GREAT! Special thank you's to some of my closest friends also: Adam, Rick, Jason, River, Mano, Brian and Netboy. And very special thanks goes to all of my OLD & NEW READERS! I love you dearly for your support. The BIGGEST thank you goes to David at Nifty for his continuous support. As always, enjoy and hopefully, you won't be disappointed. So now, the story is 'Just Beginning...' ***

• Readers I ask that you keep a reader of mine, Yas, in your prayers. He's been going through a serious ordeal right now and would like it if everyone kept their faith alive. So please keep him in your prayers. Thanks. -

**** THANK YOU WHITE KNIGHT & LEPRECHAUN!!! You both know you rock and you both know WHY you rock! You've helped me greatly. ****

The room was not well litted but enough for people to make out the five men that stood inside. The room wasn't huge but it was big enough for most. The floor was not visible. Dark blue water covered the floor. The water came to a few inches above the ankle. The marble walls were of a dark blue. The blue was almost navy but darker, giving off an ebony hue. A spotlight gave the room the extra lighting it needed while the ceiling above was clear. It was a glass ceiling that made the four dark blue walls seem not as dim. The room gave off a depressing emotion that was felt by the five men that stood inside of it.

In the room were five young men. The tall, young blonde stood in a long black trench coat. Under the stiff trench coat was a white T-shirt while he dawned baggy, black, designer jeans. He wore a pair of blue tinted sunglasses, giving his already cerulean shaded eyes. His hair was lightly wet, hanging just below his eyes, split to each side. As he combed his saffron tinted hair back with his hand, a pltinum silver ring glimmered in the pale spotlight. The water came to just above his ankles, soaking the bottom of his baggy jeans.

Standing next to him was an equally tall, man. He looked to be a model with his dangerously dark expression, his cobalt blue eyes shattering his pale face. His stubble was strong, giving him a goatee and a mustache. His diamond-studded earrings brought off more light for his face, which was thin yet perfected. He brooded in a black pin-stripped suit jacket. Gripping underneath the jacket was an ash gray, body fitting shirt. He wore a pair of baggy, black pants. He had light auburn highlights in his black hair, barely noticeable unless the light eclipsed upon him. His silver Rolex was the most noticeable piece of jewlry he wore as he swayed his arms around. He lifted his other hand and slipped a black cowboy hat over his spiked hair, tipping it downward to shadow his eyes.

Sitting down beside the tall gentleman was a slightly younger man. His half Spanish, half Irish, mocca brown eyes stared out into space. His damp hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail as his hair caressed his neck. Dangling from his smooth ponytail was a single white feather. His sensuous red lips had a mild pout to them. His beard was thin, running from ear-to-ear, dusting towards a mustache. His fingers were dipped into the water as his clothes were getting moist with water. He wore a black, button down shirt with a sheer shirt underneath. His pants were vinyl, matching the black of his shirt while glimmering where the light fell. He dipped his head back so it resting against one of the ebony black walls.

Kneeling next to him was a more ravaged looking man. His almost black eyes were hidden behind a pair of black shades. His hair was wildly pulling upward on each side. The tips of his hair were highlighted electric blue while the innermost part was black. He sported an originally shaped mustache and beard that each were thinly done. He wore a white, fishnet shirt, exposing his slimly built chest. He wore a large, golden cross that dangled from side to side. His arms were thin yet somewhat muscular. The poetic tattoos that ran both arms showed mildly in the dark room. He held one arm covered with a black armband. One tattoo that he exposed for eyes was the deeply, black rooted cross that had the word 'Bone' wrapped into it. He cocked his head to the side. He gripped his black leather pants while kneeling and then brought his hands up to a 'praying' position. He allowed his gold hoop earrings to attract more attention to his face as he knelt.

The final man stood next to the kneeling one. His hair was neatly trimmed, a bronze blonde that showed it's brightness in the light. His saphire eyes brought out the most attention as his slightly pale cheeks defined his face. He twiddled with his thumbs while gazing down to the glassy water. His black waffle sweater was one size too large, making the sleeves extend past his hands as he stood. His blonde hair was soon covered under an Armani Exchange stocking cap. He pulled a hand so it rested on his shoulder while his eyes remained innocent. He swayed slightly with his baggy, black Dungaree pants on. He let a hand caress one of the ebony walls, exposing his golden band resting on his left ring finger. His eyes searched the room while a leg swirled in the water, stirring the reflection of depression.

A melody, depressing in it's own nature and purpose, shook the room. The blonde, who's name was given as Nick, walked through the murky water to the front of the room. His eyes were hollow with depression and mere shadows. He stared at a central area as words filled that enigma of a melody.

I never thought that I would lose my mind

That I could control this

Never thought that I'd be left behind

That I was stronger than you (baby)

Girl if only I knew what I've done

You know, so why don't you tell me

(And I) I would bring down the moon and the sun

To show how much I care

Nick's mellow voice was joined by the depressing backgrounds of the more dramtic one who was birthed with the name of Alexander James or to his supposed friends, A.J. A.J. adjusted his glasses while standing fully. He crept near Nick to center his vision on the point that Nick had. Nick bent down to embrace part of the water after his verse ended.

Don't wanna lose you now

Baby, I know we can win this

Don't wanna lose you now

No no, or ever again

The more artufl one that stayed seated, pulled drops of water up into his hands and let them fall as if they were raindrops. He found his name as Howie. The taller one, giving off a model's perspective, was known as Kevin. He walked past Howie to find A.J. humming over more subtle notes. He placed a hand on A.J.'s shoulder, feeling the bare skin in a more friendly manner. He gazed over his shoulder to see the final gentleman staring at the wall. He knew him as his cousin and his given name, Brian. Brian sung along to that tune, feeling the mellowdrama that surrounded it. He let his barefeet glaze through the water as he walked closer to the wall. He leaned his head on the wall and turned to focus on that center spot that Nick and A.J.'s eyes remained on.

I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay

It's burning within me

The fear of losing, of slipping away

It just keeps getting closer (baby)

Whatever reason to leave that I've had

My place was always beside you

And I wish that I didn't need you so bad

Your face just won't go away

Brian hugged himself, letting a small tear run from his eyes. He knelt down into the water and pleaded in a fashion not known to him. Howie stood from his position and walked behind Brian. He subconsciously let a hand drop to Brian's shoulder. It was a pseudo form of comfort in the maze of depression as a guitar slid into the dark melody. He peered over to A.J. who had drifted to another wall. Nick seemed to be content with his spot in the water, dipping his hands into the water. Kevin lifted the cowboy hat from his head to reveal his saddening face.

Don't wanna lose you now (don't wanna lose you now)

Baby, I know we can win this

Don't wanna lose you now (don't wanna lose you now)

No no, or ever again

Don't wanna lose you now (don't wanna lose you now)

Brian was caught up in the emotional view of the words. The experienced showed in his saphire blue eyes. He twisted a finger into the water, deepening the dark reflection. He sensed movement near him as A.J. made his way back to where he was before. He lightly splashed water upon Brian's shirt as the pain of the melody had deepened with the guitar's sounds. They both peered to see Nick cross a ways in front of them with a depressing stare. Nick wrinkled his nose in a semi-cute way as he sang to the tune. The deep vocals carried throughout the dark room. Kevin's hollow blue eyes looked into Nick's as he saw a tear leave Nick's eye. Nick nibbled upon his lower lip, letting Kevin place a hand on his shoulder. Howie watched the scene from a far off position as he leaned against a wall to get a full view of everyone's expressions as they combined their voices.

I never thought that I would lose my mind

That I could control this, yes

Never thought that I'd be left behind

That I was stronger than you, oh

A.J. pulled his hands through his hair as his lips moved slightly. He sniffled with the movement and dropped his arms swiftly. His relcutant stare was feuled by the misty tears within his eyes. He reached out for something that wasn't there as his hand palmed his view. He careflly removed his cross from around his neck and grasped it tightly in his hands. Brian slid over to him with a pale glare of misery. Kevin walked behind the two and stood stiffly while Nick knelt to the floor into a praying stance. Howie gazed around the room before leaning off the wall and making his stout body creep to a standing position next to Brian. As A.J. felt the other four men had surrounded him, he let his cross drop into the teasing water, reflecting their looks of dejection.

Don't want to lose to loneliness

Girl I know we can win

Don't want to lose to emptiness (oh no)

Never again

When the water splashed with the cross's fallen ascendancy, the ceiling from above shattered, sending the glass descending into the quaking water. The water splashed greatly as the glass fell completely. When the waves had cleared, there were ten clones of each man in the room. Each Kevin clone wore a cowboy hat. Each Howie clone mirrored a sense of misery. Each Nick clone wore a black trench coat. Each Brian clone hand a golden band on their left ring finger. Each A.J. clone had blue highlights at the tip of his hair. They all stood releasing the same vocals, looking as if they matched the other in perfect unity. It was a utopia of depression.

Don't wanna lose you now (Don't want to lose to loneliness)

Baby, I know we can win this (Girl I know we can win)

Don't wanna lose you now (Don't want to lose to emptiness)

No no, or ever again

(It's just because of you, ho)

With a bright flash, one by one, each clone disappeared. When the final disappeared, the depressions seemed to leave the faces of each man. Nick ripped his trench coat from his body and lift it off. He threw it to the side and began to furiously splash the water upon A.J. Brian jumped back with fright yet a smile was born on his face. Kevin dropped his hat and began to kick water upon Howie, shocking the unready male. Howie lurched forward and grasped onto Kevin with laughter in his eyes. Brian smiled and ran in front of all of them, running a hand across his neck as if to say silently 'Cut'. He slid with his attempt and fell to the floor with laughter. He soon found Nick leaping upon him and splashing water onto his face.

Don't wanna lose you now (Don't want to lose you now)

I know we can win this

Don't wanna lose you now (Don't really want to lose you now)

No no, or ever again (Don't wanna lose you now)

A.J. stepped over them with a smile and grinned towards the focus point he had throughout the melody. He mouthed the words, 'I love you Amanda' and ran back to the edge of the room. Howie rolled on the watery surface as Kevin tried to splash more water upon him. Nick stood from his fallen position and pulled back his hair with a mere grin. He helped Brian up as Brian's clothes soaked in their watery essence. Brian pulled his hat from his head and smiled at Nick. He waved to that focus point once more that he had looked upon. A.J. sung the final words as the guys crowded him one last time. They all smiled to the focus point and then fell into the endless water.

"And that was the Backstreet Boys with their new video 'Don't Wanna Lose You Now'. That video is actually rather emotionally deep and I kind of like it. Good job Backstreet Boys, that's from their new albm 'Millennium'." the voice of Dave Holmes stated on MTV's Spankin' New Videos.

The voice was deaf and unheard to one sleeping lover. That lover was curled to Justin Littrell of 'N Sync. Justin's ruby blonde hair glimmered almost flaxen in the morning's sun. Justin took his eyes away from the television with a hint of sadness. The depth of the video he had watched was powerful for his young mind and heart. He brought his eyes down to his lover and twisted his fingers through his hair. Justin played with the sandy brown locks of hair with a timid grin. He heard a soft moan of his lover awakening and he smiled. "Are you up Bri?" Justin questioned, rubbing a hand over Brian's cheek. Brian grunted hard, blinking open his spahire blue eyes. That was his non-verbal sign to Justin that he was now awake.

Brian snuggled his head to Justin's chest and embraced him tightly. Justin giggled and pushed Brian's hair back. Brian kissed Justin's soft, left nipple and lifted his head. They were sprawled on the floor, in the den, near the fireplace. The fire had died down to a mere amber of heat. They were covered by nothing but a memory of the passionate love making they experienced while in front of the fireplace. Each wore no form of clothing except for any jewelry they had given each other and their wedding rings.

"I just saw your new video." Justin commented, causing Brian to stare up into Justin's eyes. "And what did you think?" Brian asked. Brian traced Justin's bicep with a finger while awaiting a reply. "It was depressing at the beginning but then I loved how yo guys made it fun at the end. It looked like a lot of work... with being in water the whole time and uhm, having to pretend to cry." Justin answered, peering into Brian's eyes. "Well that's funny because Nick, Howie, A.J. and Kevin had to get a staff member to sqirt them in the eyes for tears... mine were sort of real." Brian dropped his head sadly, sniffling. "They were?" Justin questioned, caressing Brian's nose. "Yeah! I mean I was in L.A. by myself, I didn't get to come home early to see you like I wanted, I barely got to talk on the ohone with you... it was unbareable." Brian exclaimed, reliving his depression in Los Angeles. "Well I missed you too." Justin assured him. "And then to know you were sick while I was away?" Brian sighed hard. Justin shook his head, feeling guilty for Brian's concern. "We don't have to talk about these things Brian. We are long past that part." Justin whispered, kissing Brian's forehead when his words had ceased. Justin continued to toy with Brian's hair when Brian looked up. "How did we ever get on this subject?" Brian laughed out, losing his frown. "Uhm... I watched your new video on MTV." Justin giggled. "Oh yeah!" Brian shouted, beginning to tickle Justin's stomach.

Justin laid on his back and let Brian lay next to him. Justin ceased his laughter to look up at the ceiling. He felt a smooth tongue sliding over his abs. "Your stomach is very sexy babe." he heard Brian whispered as Brian's tongue dipped into Justin's navel. Justin giggled again with the moist and warm feeling of Brian's tongue. "I was thinking of getting my belly button pierced." Justin said softly. "Really?" Brian questioned, kissing Justin's navel. "Yeah... maybe next year." Justin smiled. "It'd make you even sexier baby." Brian chimed, lifting his head up and resting his chin on Justin's chest. "Then I might just do it." Justin cheered, looking down to see Brian's eyes. Brian shrgged and then sat up on his knees. He grabbed Justin's leg and began to massage Justin's foot. "I wonder if the execs will let you." Brian pondered, rubbing Justin's ankle with his soft hands. "Ah, it doesn't matter to me. I got my tattoo without their permission." Justin replied carelessly. "Ooh, my husband the rebel!" Brian exclaimed with laughter. Justin let loose a small laugh, turning his head to the side.

"I've been thinking about getting another tattoo." Brian whispered, grasping Justin's attention. "Of what?" Justin asked curiously. "I wanted to get a tattoo on my lower back that said, 'Angel'. For my two babies." Brian replied with a small grin. Justin sat up and smiled at Brian. "You want that?" Justin asked, still in awe. "With a little halo right over the 'A'." Brian nodded. "But we don't have a child." Justin brought back reality. "Not yet," Brian added. "Aren't we rather confident?" Justin giggled. "I have a lot of faith." Brian nodded. Justin perked up for Brian, keeping a solid smile. "And when we have our son or daughter, I want that tattoo to signify my love for him or her... and the love that I'll have for their father." Brian chimed. Justin cooed for him and then crawled over to Brian. Justin placed a simple kiss on Brian's cheek and nuzzled his nose against Brian's.

"I think maybe we should get dressed huh?" Brian suggested, placing a hand on Justin's bare thigh. "Yeah, we should. You have that meeting." Justin agreed. "And then we go by your mom's?" Brian added, beginning to stand from his position. "Mm hmmm." Justin nodded, letting Brian help him up. "I really like that song." Justin commented as they began to walk for the steps. "What song?" Brian asked, stopping his walk and turning to Justin. "You know... 'Don't Wanna Lose You Now'?" Justin explained briefly. Brian laughed, feeling silly for his sudden questioning. "I thought your favorite song on the album was 'Just'?" Brian asked with a simple grin. "You know it is." Justin winked at Brian, trying to walk past him. Brian grasped Justin's left arm and held it tightly so Justin would stop. "What?" Justin questioned quickly as Brian's grip loosened. "Come with me for a second." Brian requested, lightly tugging Justin in the opposite direction. Justin looked at him with uncertainity. "Please." Brian begged, still trying to convince Justin. Justin sighed softly and walked with Brian to the large couch in the den.

Brian searched for something and to the side of the couch, he found his guitar. Brian lifted it and took a seat on the couch. Justin shyly took a seat next to him, wondering what was going through Brian's mind. Justin listened as Brian tuned the guitar. Brian gave the guitar one last strum before tilting his head to look at Justin. "I want you to sing with me." Brian stated, catching the amazement in Justin's blue eyes. "You want me to what?" Justin asked quickly. "Sing with me." Brian repeated in his holesome, country accent. "Sing what?" Justin asked, loosening up next to his husband. "You'll see babe." Brian replied with a grin. Justin looked at the dimples that glowed in the sun's light. He watched the sun run a glow over Brian's sandy brown hair. Brian's nude body glimmered in light tan within the sun's grasp. Justin ran his hand over Brian's shoulder, letting his finger tips play with the sensation of touch. "Okay, I'll sing with you." Justin nodded with a quiet smile.

Brian smiled and began his strumming with his guitar again. He took a moment to think of each string to pluck, every note to hum to and every beat to remember. Justin heard the melody from the guitar and knew it well. He let Brian take the first verse as he listened.

Just when I thought times were hard

U came along into my would

Setting my love into motion

Too many people have said goodbye

I know that it makes you cry

Never will I do that to our lovin'

Cause you know when I'm wrong

And I know when you're right

Even if my friends cause trouble

You'll always be apart of my life

Brian kept his eyes on Justin the whole time he sung the words he had written for him. He did not gaze down to his fingers as they plucked each string. He knew where his eyes should stay, locked with Justin's deep blue eyes. Justin ran a hand over his own hair and shyly looked away. "Sing with me baby." Brian whispered as he built the dramatic sound for the chorus. Justin looked up again at Brian and slid closer to him.

Just when I thought I was to be alone forever

You came into my life and changed it for the better

Just when I thought the rain would never end

You made the sun return to my life again

Brian continued to play the music on the guitar as he let Justin take the second verse. Justin sat up perfectly so that he could harmonize to what his husband left him at. He placed his warm hand on Brian's knee for comfort and smiled. He cleared his throat softly and began to let loose the sovereign voice he was blessed with.

Because you are the way you are

R you just a dream?

I feel as if you'd never hurt me

A fight couldn't tear us away from each other

Never will I do that to our lovin'

Cause you know when I'm wrong

And I know when you're right

Even if my friends cause trouble

You'll always be apart of my life, ooh baby

Brian grinned patiently with Justin. He was tantilized by Justin's blue eyes. He pouted slightly to see Justin's reaction of looking away. He giggled lightly and waited for Justin to look back with sincere love. They began the chorus in harmony with each other with gentle smiles of affection toward one another.

Just when I thought I was to be alone forever

You came into my life and changed it for the better

Just when I thought the rain would never end

You made the sun return to my life again

Brian ceased his guitar playing to stare at Justin. Justin stopped his singing nervously. Brian placed a finger to his mouth to signal to Justi to stay silent for a moment. Brian began to pluck the notes again with a softer chord. He looked up at Justin again and signaled for Justin to move closer. Justin did so, feeling as if soon he would be seated in Brian's lap. Brian gave Justin a soft and memorable kiss on the lips as he played the guitar. Brian pulled back from the kiss with a small smile. He continued to play while letting Justin snuggled to his arm. "This is for Angel." Brian whispered into Justin's ear.

'A'nd when the day comes

'N'ever will we be afraid again

'G'iving birth to a new moment in our love

'E'verlasting faith that I feel inside of you

'L'et's me know that our child will never be alone

Brian saw the flicker in Justin's eye and he smiled deeply. "Ready?" he asked of Justin. Justin opened his mouh but no words could form. He was in awe of Brian's natural charm. "Come on." Brian giggled, trying to coax Justin further. Justin nodded for Brian.

And I hope you never go away

Because my sky would turn to gray

From happy to sad in a day

I can't stand to be without you babe

Never, never leave

Baby please say you need me

Just when I thought I was to be alone forever

You came into my life and changed it for the better

Just when I thought the rain would never end

You made the sun return to my life again

Brian finished the song by plucking the final chords as Justin laid his head on Brian's shoulder. Justin sighed a sigh of love, savoring the moment he and his husband had just shared. It was like adding another page to the yearbook for their love. The glossy look of passion, understanding, friendship, trust, honesty, poetic bliss and devotion shined above everything.

Brian carefully placed the guitar on the side of the couch again and held Justin closely. "Does that feel better?" Brian asked, rubbing Justin's slightly tense shoulders. "Yes baby." Justin cooed, snuggling his soft cheek to Brian's chest. "Good because we have to get dressed and get ready to go to the offices for my meeting." Brian whispered. Justin groaned loudly with disappointment.

"Can't we just lay together for a few more hours?" Justin requested softly. Brian ran his fingres through Justin's tighty curls. "I'd love to but you know we'll have time off for a few days anyway." Brian replied. He tapped the end of Justin's nose lightly with a smile. "Love you." he whispered to restore Justin's smile. With those words, Justin's angelic face glew. "I love you too baby." Justin chimed. "So come on and take a shower with me and I'll 'love' you like I did last night." Brian giggled. Justin smiled hopelessly and stood with Brian. They walked from the den up to their bedroom to begin the love making they shared the night before.

The phone's consitent ring was heard throughout the house. It had rng for five times moments before and now it was on a new system of rings. Tyke pranced into the kitchen with confidence as the phone rang once more. He was followed in by Justin who marched in with a part of Old Navy draw string shorts on. He wore no shirt as beads of water still seemed to glisten his defined chest. Justin picked up the phone with a temperate frown. "Yes, this is Justin." Justin spoke into the phone. "Justin... Justin Littrell, where have you been?" Justin heard a male respond. "Bryce? Bryce Winters is that you?" Justin laughed, stepping further into the kitchen. "Well it's surely not Hugh Hefner." Bryce joked. "Damn and I was hoping to get a spread in Playgirl too." Justin giggled. "Ah ah ah, don't let your husband hear you talking like that." Bryce laghed loudly. "What's he gonna do? Spank me?" Justin snickered.

Just as the words cleared his lips, Justin felt a strong hand slap across his ass with a sharp movement. Justin leaped with shock and cried out. He snapped around quickly to see Brian smiling wildly. Brian winked at Justin and then walked for the refrigerator. Justin eyed him and then mouthed the words, 'you bitch'. "I love you too!" Brian cooed from the frige. "Tell Brian that I love him too." Bryce giggled, overhearing Brian's kind words. "Yeah, he'd just love that." Justin rolled his eyes, turning his back to Brian.

"Well I'm calling you because you have a wondeful and grand interview to do with Tiger Beat." Bryce stated. "A 'phoner' or do I have to go to the office?" Justin questioned. "It's a phoner, so all you have to do is give your simple answers and then let it go. I have Karen Gordon, the associate editor on the other line. I didn't give her your number... well because I didn't want her to know about you and Brian." Bryce explained. "Thanks Bryce, me and Brian can't afford that." Justin smiled. "I know, so I'm trying to keep things low for you guys right now. Now it's a more intimate chat, more about you and not the group. So she'll be asking questions about your life right now and not 'N Sync's life right now. I tried to tell her what she could and could not do but that's hard without revealing you and Brian's personal lives. So if there is any question you do not want to answer, clarify it for her and tell her to contact the label." Bryce added. "And the 'label' would be?" Justin joked on his own situation. "Don't play stupid boy, your husband's label." Bryce snickered. "Right, right. Okay, I'm sure I can handle any question she does throw at me." Justin assured him. "Sure, that's what they all say." Bryce teased him with love. "Oh hush, you're just a P.R." Justin chimed.

"A P.R. in search of the group he represents. J.C. and Joey are down here at the offices, but what's up with Chris? And have you seen uhm, well Lance?" Bryce became shy about his questions. "I think Chris has been working out his plans to go visit his family in Philly actually. He said he wanted that little time off before he had to tour again. Then he said he'll be out in L.A. for his birthday. He wants to spend it with some of his family and his girlfriend, Meelah." Justin replied, turning back around to see Brian sitting on the counter eating yogurt. "And uhm, Lance?" Bryce stuttered out. Justin took a minute to think of the last time he saw Lance. He could still see the position that Lance and Matt slept in. He looked over to Brian who smiled contently at Justin. Brian gave a small wave to Justin and then began to giggle. Justin was caught by Brian's humorous way of showing affection. 'God, why do I ever get jealous that someone might take him away from me?' Justin thought to himself as he watched Brian. "Justin? Justin did you hear me?" Bryce repeated into the phone. "Huh? What?" Justin snapped out of his trance with Brian. "I said don't worry about Lance right now, you have to get this interview over with." Bryce replied in a mono tone. "Oh, okay. Well if I hear from Lance, I'll be sure to let you know Bryce." Justin stumbled over his words. "Thanks Justin. Are you coming by the offices with Brian?" Bryce asked with a less than thrilling nature. "Yeah, I'll be there." Justin nodded. "Okay good, I think we have some papers for you to overview including benefits and what not for the label change." Bryce stated. "Okay, I guess I can handle that." Justin agreed flatly. "Good, I'll connect you to Karen and then I'll see you at the office." Bryce smirked. "Thanks Bryce, bye bye." Justin laughed, awaiting for Bryce to connect Justin and Karen.

Justin heard the click of the phone as he took a seat at the table. "Hello, Justin?" he heard a female speak up immediately. "Yes, it's me Justin. Hello Karen." Justin answered. "Okay good. Hello Justin, I hope things are fine. I'm sort of pressed for time because I have to hop a flight to Miami to meet with Mandy Moore for an interview. So we'll have to go straight to the interview. I hope that's okay." Karen stated quickly. "Uhm sure, that sonds fine. I'm pressed for time too." Justin agreed, glancing over to his husband. Brian sat staring at Justin with a romantic glare within his blue eyes. Justin shot him a smile that Brian treasured. "Well Justin the first question... well rather curiosity from readers is that we here you have a new tattoo. This is true?" Karen pondered. Justin tapped his fingers across the table. "Yes, it's true. Well it's not so new now, I got it back in July while we were off tour." Justin replied. "And what is it of?" Karen questioned. "It's a Japenese writing. I'm not saying what it says because I don't even mention that I have it. It's on my back and so it's hard to see unless you see me with a shirt off." Justin stated. "Which doesn't happen often?" Karen giggled. "Well not for fifty thousand screaming fnas get to see. Maybe I'll take it off for a phoot shoot or but I don't like showing my body like that. I want people to be concerned about my music and not my body." Justin responded without angst. "I get to see it every night." Brian whispered to Justin with a grin. Justin rolled his eyes and did not look over to Brian.

"That's a true statement. Now there's been some negative press surrounding 'N Sync with different things but I want to talk to you about one thing that has directly affected you. That being the article by actress Leigh Ann Wallace in Entertainment Weekly. With the questions she was asked, she made a serious impression in the doubt of you actually being a virgin. Could you clarify and help to share any truth to that?" Karen stated all of her facts before releasing her question. Justin sat dumbfounded. He nibbled on his lower lip and then looked over to Brian. "Uhm... that is rather personal but it's been asked of me a lot. So I figured I need to tell some day huh?" Justn tried to make light of the situation but in his own mind, he was nervous. "I don't know if you'll print this or not but I am not a virgin. But I was around this age when I lost my virginity and it was with someone I love. So I stress to your readers that you just don't sleep aorund. I am still with the person I lost my virginity to. I don't sleep around and I am protected. So don't let this become an issue but you need to be in love with someone that you think you're going to sleep with. And make sure the feelings are deep and purely mutual." Justin finally revealed himself in a proper and honest manner. "So you are not a virgin... at least anymore." Karen restated. "Exactly. So whatever Ms. Wallace said in the interview is from what she knows but I am giving you the facts." Justin agreed, receiving a surprised look from Brian. 'Did he just do what I think he did?' Brian eyed him while thinking. Brian took another spoonfull of yogurt into his mouth and listened to more of Justin's interview.

"That is great advice for our readers. Now here's a question that's a little more business side for the sake of promotion. What was your favorite part of recodrding your new album, 'Another Step'?" Karen asked in a monotone voice. Justin thought over the question with a soft sigh that was almost not audible. "Well one of my favorite parts of making this album was writing and recording 'Just II'. Just the way I was approached about doing the song and then writing the song and recording it with Brian. It was just me and him who recorded the song. The others didn't come in due to scheduling and it worked out better for me and Brian to be able to work together that way if it was just me and him," Justin replied confidently. "And then there was the electronic voice we have on the album. Her name is N2, which means 'N SYNC Navigator. She's like the 'guide' through the new album, taking you from song to song. It's really cool because since we knew that this album was Another Step for us, we needed something to add to it because we had a pop sound, an R&B sound, a hip hop sound, a club sound... and we wanted a more futuristic tone to go along with all of that mix. So we created a 'virtural' voice with a SPEAK program... and all you have to do is type in the words you want said and the program creates a computer voice that recites the words. N2 is a very cool 'addition' to 'N Sync... and she's featured on songs like 'With You' and 'Don't Need Anyone Else'." Justin added. "That is a very interesting and nice addition to the album. What about the writers? You worked with some greats for the album." Karen commented. "Yeah, uhm... Diane Warren did three of our songs on the new album. In fact she did the song we plan to release as our third... well actually fourth single. So that's really cool. She's very talented and gave us the songs we wanted to express different feelings. Of course we all got to write on this album also, so there's always bonuses." Justin responded, trying to get over the technical side of his interview.

"Now here's the part of the interview I'm sure you love." Karen commented sarcastically. Justin sighed with laughter. "How is your dating life going? Our readers are wondering is it hard for you dating someone and you're always in the studio, on tour and doing press conferences?" Karen released her question. "Actually, yes, it can be rather stressful but in other ways, that person can be your comfort from all of the drama of being in this business. But I'm doing rather well for myself. I'm happy and generally always take that person on tour with me. So it's good. But there have been times where I've had to go off and do something alone, but I always have my phone and I'm constantly on it making sure there is communication. For me though, it's been pretty easy. For me and J.C. anyway." Justin replied, knowing that Joey was having a tough trouble keeping up with Britney's schedule and that Chris would have even more of a time commuting to L.A. with Meelah.

"How do you deal with all of the controversy that surrounds you, Joey Fatone and Britney Spears?" Karen threw a curveball in Justin's direction. "The 'controversy'? I didn't even know there was one." Justin laughed out. "Well some people believe that it is you who is actually dating Britney and that the use of Joey is now a cover up. And because Britney did not attend the MTV Video Music Awards with Joey, yet she was seen at movie premieres and appearances with you brings up questions." Karen informed Justin in a more direct way. "Well first off, Joey is not a cover for me. Britney and Joey are actually dating. For almost six months now? I don't know but they've been dating quite a while. Me and Britney haven't dated since our time on the Mickey Mouse Club. Even then it wasn't that serious. Joey and Britney are very serious." Justin answered part of the question with a slight disappointment in the actual want for an answer. "There were complications that prevented the two of them from attending the MTV VMA's together but they go out all the time together. However, I did escort Britney to the premiere of 'Olive Juice' because I had a ticket and did not want to attend alone. Britney was kidne nough to go with me. I took her because she still is a close friend of mine but she was still dating Joey at the time." Justin clarified for her.

"Interesting tidbits. That does clear up this fictitious story about you and Britney for our readers. Now onto this greatly publicized friendship between 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys. What was the last fun thing you did with a Backstreet Boy and which Backstreet Boy? Recreational or relaxing... outside of business actually." Karen qusetioned in a more political view. Justin brushed his hands over his hair and then glanced up to Brian. Brian was cleaning up the kitchen while Tyke ran around him with glee. "The last person from the Backstreet Boys... it was Brian. Yeah, I took him with me and my family to church. We actually had a rather good time together. It was sort of making him another part of the fam'." Justin finally answered the question for her. He peered down to his tennis bracelet with a smile. He knew the last relaxing moment he spent with Brian was just upstairs in their shower. "Ah, yes Brian. We here that his is like your best friend and all. That is a very special and unique quality to be best friends with a guy from another band. Especially a band that the media likes to emphasizes a rivalry with. We've come into knowledge that Brian was actually on the set for your new video 'True' and that he appears in the video? Any truth to that story?" Karen continued with her more professional yet personal questions. Justin rolled his eyes, growing ever more tired with the interview. "Yes, Brian was on the set for 'True' for support of us. He does also appear in the video too, so look for him. He had a lot of fun making the video as did we." Justin gave his business-like reply. "Was he in support of you or the group?" Karen shot out a sly question. "Both actually. He's a good friend so he came on the set and supported me while supporting the group. I hung out with him between takes and just chilled around." Justin answered swiftly, prepared for Karen's devious move.

"Well according to some sources... Brian actually bought you something? A puppy if I'm correct?" Karen's knowledge seemed to surpass Justin's expectations. Justin's motuh dropped slightly, knowing that Karen must have been reading Leigh Ann's Entertainment Weekly interview to have such knowledge. "Actually... yes, that is true. Brian bought me a puppy, a Japanese Spaniel. She's very cute... her name is BJ. He bought it for me because I was down and ot on tour and he thought it'd make me happy. It was a nice gesture of him just like when he bought things for his mother and for his father and his bro." Justin gave a decent reply. "So he bought you a puppy because you were sad?" Karen pulled for further details. "Yes. He bought me the puppy and she's very cute." Justin replied softly.

"Okay, that's fair enough. We'll have to ask you more about the making of video in a later interview. Now my last question is a rather deep one. Through all the tours that 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys have shared, there have been a share of complications. Can you tell the readers what was the most difficult or the most scariest moment for you personally while on any of the tours?" Karen requested in a more meaningful tone. Justin felt Brian's strong arms pull around his chest, causing Justin to smile. Brian placed his lips on Justin's shoulder and left small kisses that soothed Justin. "The scariest moment? I can think of several but for me personally it was the earthquake in California. The actual earthquake was scary within itself but being at the hospital was tough too. For me though the rough experience was seeing friends in the hospital. Like seeing Brian in Intensive Care. He was banged up pretty bad by the 'quake and had slipped into a coma. I think that was scary for all of us. When me and the guys from the group left and came back, yo could barely get access to see him because of security and visiting hours. So it was scary not knowing if he was okay and what not." Justin stated with a shiver racing through his body. Brian felt Justin's body tense while he spoke. "So actually seeing Brian in the hospital after the earthquake was terrifying?" Karen tried to get some ellaboration on what Justin had just informed her with. "Yeah, it was very scary for all of us. I... we all tried to spend as much time as we could with him to make sure he got better." Justin explained.

Justin felt Brian's finger run over the lower portion of his eye to catch a tear. Brian ran his hand through Justin's curls and whispered, "Don't cry baby... it was a long time ago." Justin perked up slightly and sniffled softly so that Karen could not hear. "Well thank you for giving me this interview Justin. I do truly appreciate it and we'll inform your personal affairs agents and public representatives of when the article will be finished and published. I do know you have other things to do as do I so I'll have to chat with you again some time, maybe over lunch or something." Karen proposed while showing her true manner for a work ethic. "Yes... thank you for the interview Karen. We'll have to get together for lunch next time you're in Orlando." Justin agreed hesitantly. "Be careful Justin Timberlake, I might take you up on that deal." Karen giggled. "Okay, we'll set something up." Justin awkwardly replied. "Well I had better go so I do not miss this flight. Thank you and goodbye," Karen ended her conversation and interview with Justin with those words.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have to go through all of this technical bullshit as an artist." Justin grumbled while placing the phone on it's receiver. "You don't mean that baby." Brian chimed, rubbing his soft, pale cheek to Justin's gentle one. Justin could feel the small whisps of Brian's amber colored whiskers. "Yeah well... does everyone have to be in yor private life twenty-four-seven?" Justin brooded. "If you're popular, yes baby, they have to. They want to know what makes you so special." Brian explained in a more adult tone. "Being married to you makes me so special." Justin replied, turning to pull Brian into a small embrace. "Aaaww, that was cute," Brian giggled, kissing Justin's neck. "I wasn't trying to be cute Brian." Justin laughed, finally feeling Brian's arms wrap around his body. "Are you trying to get me hard for another round of naked Twister?" Brian snickered, running his tongue over the nape of Justin's soft neck. "No... but that wouldn't hurt either." Justin whispered, nibbling on Brian's earlobe. "We still have about a half hour until we needed to leave." Brian said seductively. "That sounds rather... uhm rushed baby." Justin commented briefly, tracing a hand through Brian's hair. "No, not if I take long... steady... smooth... soft... gentle... strokes..." Brian delayed his words to create an erotic nature between he and his husband. "Mmmmm, now that sounds like a pretty good idea baby." Justin moaned, feeling Brian's teeth graze over his neck. "Good babe," Brian groaned, brushing his tongue over the hallow area of Justin's sensitive neck. Justin gripped Brian's head a little tighter and gasped out a moan.

Brian struggled but helped Justin stand as they continued their lingering kiss. Brian stumbled back with Justin's light force until they had cleared the kitchen and were standing in the hallway. Brian managed to pull around to the front before pushing Justin carefully against the wall. Brian pressed his body firmly on Jusitn's and began to suck upon his bottom lip. Justin grazed his hands through Brian's hair with a deep groan. He could feel Brian's gentle hands pulling down his boxers. The air wrapped his erect penis in a cold feeling until Brian's hand wrapped around it. Justin groaned softly as Brian let Justin's boxers fall down the rest of his body. "I want you so bad Justin." Brian whispered before moaning. Justin lifted a leg and wrapped it on Brian's waist as Brian pressed even firmer to him. Brian pinned Justin's arms upon the wall and began to suck upon his neck. "Brian... heh heh... please make love to me..." Justin pleaded before squealing in pleasure.

Brian released Justin's arms and began to slide down his own breifs. He kept his lips pressed against Justin's neck as he stepped out of the briefs. He brought a hand down to Justin's leg and ran the length of Justin's inner thigh. He could feel Justin pushing his hair back in a desperate attempt to hold back his screams. Brian lifted Justin by the waist and led him to the floor.

Brian laid Justin back on the floor with one of his arms supporting Justin's back. Justin arched his back and lifted his other leg to give Brian admittance to what he needed. Brian grasped his own cock and lowered himself to Justin's ass. Brian lowered his head to Justin's chest and began to suckle Justin's right nipple. Justin panted out in pure ecstasy. Brian's erect head penetrated Justin with ease. Even after just making love an hour ago, each wanted the other as much as they did on their honeymoon. Justin relaxed himself and let Brian sink deeper inside of him. "Oh Brian... I love you baby." Justin said delicately, closing his eyes tightly as his husband slid deeper into his ass. Brian grunted out indescribable words as his penis shifted further inside. Brian could feel his tight balls resting on Justin's ass when he came to a stop. He placed both of his hands on Justin's legs and guided himself out and in with an unremitting pace. Brian placed a small kiss on Justin's forehead and listened to his cries of passion. It was the perfect euphoria for Justin in his diminutive time of trepidation. He pressed his lips to Brian's neck, feeling his Adam's apple pulsate as Brian moaned.

Brian slowly withdrew and then inserted himself back into Justin. Brian let his penis retire into Justin for a minute as he kissed the tip of Justin's nose. He snuggled his balls tightly to Justin as Justin enveloped Brian's timid waist into his stronger legs. Brian began his generous stroking inside of Justin again, beginning to grind Justin's vastly erect dick between their stomachs. He felt Justin's sweaty palms run the length of his back as it arched gradually. He could feel Justin's small nails sliding across his tan and moist skin. He dipped his head instinctively down and commenced to suck slowly upon Justin's neck again. His tongue trickled the moist areas his lips created. He gave birth to a small hickey, drawing the blood up into the pigment of Justin's skin.

Justin felt one of Brian's hands twist through his curls. He felt Brian becoming a little more forceful and expeditious with his pace. "Heh heh... baby... I'm almost there..." Brian panted into Justin's ear before beginning to suck on Justin's earlobe. Justin could feel the shaft of his cock being grinded against Brian's brown pubes. The head of his cock was being caressed by Brian's tight stomach. His body was being jolted with passion and pleasure. "Oh baby..." Justin groaned loudly. Brian slithered his tongue to Justin's mouth and began a less erotic kiss. Their lips grazed each other's in their fit of passion. Justin's lips trembled during the kiss as his body shook and convulsed. "Heh heh baby... oh yes baby... mmph Brian..." Justin gasped out as his sperm was ejaculating from his body. His dick spasmed repeatedly, releasing his essence between he and Brian's humping bodies. Brian used the cum as a slight lubricant to slide his body harder on Justin's. He began to lightly squeeze Justin's balls to help Justin release the rest of his cum between their heaving bodies.

The stimulation of Justin's convulsing ass helped Brian to slip closer to climax. He fervishly ran his hand over Justin's inner thigh to help keep Justin in the luxury of sensual ecstasy as they made love. Brian gasped hard one last time before groaning out, "I love you babe... I'm... I'm cumming babe..." Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's neck to hold him as he came deep within the depth of Justin. Brian's body shook feircely and his hips moved quickly yet roughly.

Justin unwrapped his legs from around Brian as Brian shivered in his arms. "I... I... I love... heh, love you.." Brian stuttered out, snuggling his face to Justin's chest. Brian listened to the soft heartbeat as Justin wiped the sweat from Brian's brow. "I love you too babe." Justin whispered. Brian reached him arms under Justin again to pull him into a loving hug. Justin accepted the embrace, kissing Brian's temple.

"Do it feel good baby?" Justin softly asked a question. "Don't ask such silly questions Justin. Of course it felt good." Brian replied faintly, kissing Justin's left pec. "I just want to make sure each time is satisfying." Justin commented, feeling Brian carefully exit his body. "As long as I am making love to you, each and every time will be satisfying boy." Brian sighed, crawling up Justin. He rested his head next to Justin's and savored the warmth of Justin's younger body. "Mmmm, my Romeo." Justin giggled. "You know it baby." Brian laughed along.

Just Beginning (Chapter 42) Written by JM

Justin walked into the new office for Zombda and BMG affiliates in Orlando. It was not too far set from the Trans Continental Offices and the Wright Etnertainment offices. The newly set up office housed a meeting place for acts under certain management and under the BMG or Zombda label. This including both the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync, but also the home for Lynn Harliss's acts like Innosense and Ryan Gosling, also Britney Spears, Wild Orchid and Steps.

Justin carried his puppy BJ in his arms, patting her gently head. He carried a backpack on his back. He wore a North Carolina hat, a white and dark blue waffle sweater and baggy, navy cargo pants. 'Could Brian and Tyke become any slower?' Justin complained to himself, walking slowly up the hall. He turned his head slightly when he heard Tyke chirp as he ran down the hall. "I'm not running after you little man. If you don't get over here then you might as well forget your beefy treats for the next two months." Justin could hear Brian's stiff, country accent call to Tyke. "Come here Tyke baby," Justin whistled for the dog, sensing Brian's aversion. Tyke pranced over to Justin with please, sniffing Justin's leg before panting for him.

Brian stopped his walking and watched the pair with angst. He crossed his arms, leaned on the wall and watched as Tyke happily walked with Justin and BJ. "I see he has a like for you." Brian brooded as Justin looked back at him. "You just have to know how to treat animals babe." Justin replied without hesitation. "Hey, Tyke's been with me a year babe. When did you become authority on animals?" Brian chimed. "Since you started getting attitudes about little things." Justin replied, beginning to walk with BJ and Tyke again.

"I'm not the one bleeding in the pants babe." Brian sighed, walking quickly to catch up with them. "Let's not go there, okay Brian?" Justin suugested bitterly. "Hey, what's wrong babe? What has you so uptight?" Brian asked with fear, sliding an arm around Justin. "The way you treat an animal may be the same way you treat your child." Justin commented, shrugging Brian's arm off. "What?!" Brian barked out. "Don't get loud with me Brian." Justin warned him, still keeping his quick pace. "Why the hell would I treat my child like that? I was just playing with Tyke. He knows that daddy still loves him." Brian retoerted, moving away from Justin and picking up Tyke. "But will Angel know that 'daddy's just playing'?" Justin hissed. "Angel might not have to worry about it the way you're acting." Brian rolled his eyes with the purest intentions. "Yeah, whatever you say." Justin murmured. "I'll love my son more than anything and I should never have to explain that to his dad. Whenever we do get Angel, I'll be sure to let him know both of his fathers love him dearly and I won't treat him like he's a dog." Brian stated, swiftening his pace to get ahead of Justin.

Justin sighed and rolled his eyes towards Brian. "When will we get Angel, Brian?" Justin called out, letting interns hear his words. Brian ignored him momentarily, trying to draw eyes away from the quarreling couple. Brian turned around on his heels and stared at Justin with anger. "You know we're in the process of looking over several children for adoption and when me and you can make time to actually talking things over and schedule appointments to visit some agencies and talk with more people about adopting a child, that is when it'll happen. But until me and you can get off our high horses and stop arguing over petty shit, then it's not happening because I refuse to let my son see his fathers argue over bullshit." Brian hissed out quietly so that prying ears could not hear. Justin took a deep breath and then exhaled. He leaned forward with anger in his eyes. "I love you." Justin tried to keep his disturbing attitude as he spoke to Brian. "And I love you." Brian cracked a small smile and leaned forward, placing a small kiss on Justin's lips. "No let's not argue over childish things in front of these people, okay? You know we'll take care of our baby and be the best fathers ever. Plus we're paying these bitches to work, not watch us argue." Brian whispered with a smile. "Okay Bri, let's go to the meeting." Justin smiled graciously. Brian's grin grew and he escorted Justin to the room that was holding the Backstreet Boys' meeting.

Brian caught eyes glancing his way as he stepped into the conference room. He released Tyke to run into the halls as he met with each pair of eyes that looked upon him. Justin entered the room with a sharp smile before losing it when he saw the faces of the occupants of the room. He cuddle BJ tighter and then caught A.J. waving to him. "Well we're glad that you two could make it to the meeting but Brian this is a meeting for the Backstreet Boys... not for 'N Sync." Jeff, a representative of the Firm, informed Brian. "And the problem is where?" Brian replied sarcastically, walking Justin over to a set of empty seats. "I think he was referring to Justin." Nick replied for Jeff. "Smart boy Nickie, you get a doggy treat." Brian rolled his eyes towards Nick and let Justin sit down. "He's like a sixth member Jeff, I think he should be able to stay." A.J. spoke up in Justin's defense. "He has been a rather closer member of the group and since he married Brian and we're all like brothers, that makes him a brother-in-law. Kin is always welcome to these morbid meetings." Howie added with a sly smile. "Uhm, thanks Howie. I guess." Justin replied, cocking an eyebrow in Howie's direction. "Anytime amigo." Howie gleamed. "Well personally, he may be like a 'brother-in-law', but that doesn't give him automatic access to a Backstreet Boys meeting," Nick disagreed sternly. "He could be handling work with his own group right now." Kevin added, glaring at Brian with discontent. "Well guess what? It's three to two and majority wins. So hush you two." Brian replied quickly. Nick rolled his eyes and gave his attention back to Jeff.

"Okay well at least we're all here. Now if you guys haven't noticed, the reps from Jive Records or Trans Continental are not at this meeting. In fact they do not know we're even having this meeting. This is just a meeting for the Backstreet Boys, Backstreet Boys P.R.'s which are being represented by Denise McLean, representatives from the Firm which are myself, James, Linda and Michael and the Backstreet Boys lawyers. We are here to discuss several issues that have been brought to the table as of late." Jeff announced as he stood at the head of a long, marble black table.

"Now the first of many things on my agena would be the discussion of solo projects by the Backstreet Boys. Mainly the discussion of Nick's planned solo album." Jeff knew where he needed to start but threw a rough edge into the silent room with his announcement. "I thought when you said we could do solo projects, you meant working with other artists?!" A.J. questioned loudly. Howie briskly spun his chair in Nick's direction. "What's the deal Nickie?" Howie asked with serious distaste. "First Brian does ONE song alone and now Nick wants a full album? That's bullshit." Kevin barked, slamming his hand onto the desk. "Guys, Nick may have his own reasons for seeking his own solo project." Denise spoke up. "And he has cleared it with a contract." Michael added, flipping through an extensive folder. "A contract?! Are you already signed to a serparate label or something?" A.J. hissed. "Hey, hey, hey! I haven't said anything regarding this project yet. I just know that I've been working on some songs, I've got other producers that will be lined up and writers too. The project si set to begin until the summer of 2000, but I have to work out deals and studio time." Nick explained in a commanding voice.

"Did you plan on talking to us about this?" Kevin asked in a less demanding tone. "Yes, that's why we're here Kev, to talk about it." Nick replied wittily. "Sounds more like a meeting for Nick to resign from the Backstreet Boys." Howie grumbled. "I am not resigning from the Backstreet Boys! I'm still going to be with ya'll. It's just I'll probably need a little time here and there off to record songs and by that time ya'll should all need your own time off. I mean Brian will need some time off for Justin, A.J. will need time off for Amanda and the baby, Howie's gonna need time to work with Pollyana and Kev will need time to see his family and Nikki, so what's the problem? A couple days out of the week? Ya'll can't give me that?!" Nick argued. "It's just the fact that you didn't come to us first before working out deals and other arrangements for the album." Brian commented. "Well I mean I wanted ya'll to help me out. I'm already working ot a deal with Columbia Records so that I can record the album. I wanted Brian and Kev to write some songs and A.J. and Howie to help me produce some songs too." Nick responded to Brian's words. "Oh really?" A.J. questioned, sounding less than thrilled with Nick's explaination. "Why can't you guys just support me with this decision?" Nick requested, raising his voice slightly. "We could support you if you came to us first about this." Brian responded sadly. "Abandoning us won't get you anywhere." Kevin agreed.

"As I'm sure you would all love to continue discussing this topic, we do have many more issues to get to in this meeting." Jeff interrupted their fueled argument. Nick twisted his chair so that he would not have to receive looks from Kevin and A.J. and tried to focus his attention to Jeff. He brushed his hair behind his ears and then caught Justin glimpsing at him. "Our next topic on the agenda would be discussing your new privacy contracts. You guys have to draw up a new one to prevent a lot of things getting out now." Jeff stated, pulling out a set of papers from his folder. "Like a certain marriage?" Nick responded, trying to break Justin's on and off glances. "No, we've pretty much got that covered now. Brian and Justin have been married for about four months now." Michael replied to Nick's comment. "Exactly. We are more worried about covering Mr. Carter and Mr. Chasez's relationship and Mr. Richardson and Miss DeLoach's relationship. We already have publicists filling the streets with rumors of a breakup between Mr. McLean and Miss Latona... in which at any press conference, Mr. McLean will confirm." Linda added. "So now we have to lie to our fans?" A.J. questioned arrognatly. "Well... basically." Linda shrugged. "Just make them belief something other than the truth. We do want to cover up this baby scandal so that your career and her's is not ruined." a P.R. spoke up. "My son's future child is not a 'scandal'." Denise hissed at him. "Correct Ms. McLean. However we would like to, for the sake of Amanda, A.J. and the child, to keep all of this secret." Jeff agreed with his own intents. "Anything to keep my name out of the tabloids and me and Nikki's names off of the interviewer's lips." Kevin sighed loudly. "That's what I'm trying to guarantee you with this new contract." Michael chimed in, sliding each memeber a contract.

"Well this may all sound wonderful but there is always something lose when something is gained." Brian said poetically. "Yeah, there's always... what do they call them? A 'clause' in a contract that'll mess you up in the end?" A.J. nodded with agreeance. "As there are and it's good that you guys noticed that before signing. The 'clause' within this contract is that you cannot tell anyone outside of the groups and direct family of what's going on within your private lives." a lawyer replied. "That means not anyone outside of the Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync and Innosense needs to know what's going on. Your direct family can know but no secondary family." Michael added. "That means no Britney Spears or 702 either. If Miss Spears and Mr. Fatone ever breakup, she could spread word of what is going on in certain realtionships as either backlash or by mistake. The same would apply to the girls of 702 or any opening act that you make as friends." Jeff clarified misworded statements. "So we're being confinded to who we can talk to now?" Howie qestioned, wrinkling his brow. "You can talk to whoever, you just can't say everything." the lawyer replied with a sharp eye. "It's for your own good guys. You're protecting your own lives with this contract." Jeff tried to further his argument. "And it's basically silencing our lives to any friends we may have too." Nick complained. "Would you love the world to know you were dating J.C. Chasez of 'N Sync?" Michael questioned the younger man. "I personally would like to keep my husband and my own secrets quiet." Brian commented softly, grasping Justin's hand to hold.

"If you will all just pen your names on the contract that has been reviewed by your lawyers, we shall continue with the meeting." Michael requested, letting the contract slide around to each guy within the room. When the contract reached A.J., he peered out of his dark tinted frames to see his mother watching him. He searched for permission in her hidden brown eyes. Denise tilted her head slightly and then shrugged for A.J. She had no answer for him. She could not read between the thick lines of ink that either promised sanctuary or deceit. A.J. shook his head and then looked back down to the contract. He grasped the ballpoint pen within his fingers and scribbled his name on the dotted line reserved for him.

"Now that all of you have signed the contract, we should discuss our negotiations for leaving Jive." Jeff made the transition from subjects facilely. "Our what?!" Brian interrupted Jeff with his loud protest. "You heard the man Mr. Littrell." Michael replied sharply. "I'm trying to make sure I heard him perfectly Michael. Did he say we were leaving Jive Records?" Brian looked around the room to everyone with discomfort. "Yes Brian, we're leaving Jive Records." Kevin leaned forward on the table and answered his cousin's question. "Why are we leaving Jive? Who said we were leaving Jive?" Brian demanded his asnwers as his husband sat quietly. "I guess you should really read your contracts before you sign them Brian. I'm sure you knew of this negotiation when we came aboard with you last year." Michael responded. "Which entailed?" Brian asked, cocking his eyebrow in Michael's direction. "If you remember properly Mr. Littrell, the contract you signed with us in December of '98 was an agreement that went with certain terms. When you broke away from Trans Continental Records, you specified reasons for leaving and what reasons you would stick with us as management and Jive as your record label." Linda stated. "One of those terms for you leaving Trans Continental would be that of competition with 'N Sync at the time. Neither Lou Pearlman nor Johnny Wright gave you the proper attention you needed to stay as their priority act." James added. "So when you signed new contracts, you specified that if the Firm or Jive Records took on 'N Sync as a client, then it would be a breach of contract. You said you did not want 'N Sync to have any part of your career because of lack of care for each group." Michael finished the full explaination.

"Jive was looking for loop holes in the contract they signed with you as 'N Sync was looking for loop holes in the contract they had with RCA. They failed to do so when they signed 'N Sync without discussing anything with you as a group first. So they are now at a breach of contract in which we can sue them for and leave their record label with no red tape." Jeff gave Brian further information. Justin began to sit uneasy in his chair as the conversation drew on. Nick peered at him from the corner of his eye and then frowned slightly. "Maybe Justin shouldn't be apart of this conversation?" Nick spoke up with his wise advice. "Yeah, this does concern him in a subordinate way." a P.R. agreed. "It concerns my husband considerablely." Brian argued. "If you want me to leave, I can go to the lobby and wait." Justin offered, trying to keep the arguing to a minimal. "No Justin, stay here with me." Brian requested, holding onto Justin's hand. "Yeah Justin, I think you should at least know something about your husband's affairs." Howie nodded, trying to give Justin a sincere smile. "He can stay, there is no need for him to leave." Jeff agreed with a less heartfelt response. Justin stayed motionless in his seat as the meeting continued.

"So when did we come to the decision that we were just leaving Jive?" Brian pondered, looking to Jeff for an answer. "We held a vote." Kevin replied for Jeff. "Was I there?" Brian asked sarcastically. "We couldn't get a hold of you Brian. We just voted this morning. Lawyers and publicists have been on the phone all day trying to keep this somewhat quiet and to get ya'll out of the deal." Jeff answered his question with the knowledge he had. "You couldn't wait until you got a hold of me for this?" Brian barked at him. "We knew your answer Brian, as it will never change. You would never want to just abandon the label or Justin. So we knew where your vote was going." Michael shot back towards Brian. "Well thanks for the kind gesture Michael. I'll remember that if we ever vote not to have you at anymore meetings." Brian commented bitterly. "It was just a vote between us in the group Brian. Majority won it over." Kevin defended Michael's actions. "Majority?! All of you want to leave?" Brian was dumbfounded as he sat in a room with people he had considered family. "I didn't want to leave. I still don't want to leave but there comes a point where you have to concede for the best of the group." A.J. responded first. "They breached a serious contract with us, Brian. I can understand the fact that you want to remain friends with the guys of 'N Sync... as do we all but this is a matter of business. We can't let friendships tie us down from furthering our careers." Howie argued. "It's for the best of the BSB, Brian. You know that." Nick did his best to reason. "It's the best for each of you to get a bigger pay cut with another label." Brian shook his head with anger. "That's not true Brian." Howie argued softly.

"Whatever individual reasons each of you may have for leaving Jive Records, it has been decided that you will do so. Now it is a matter of filing charges and making a transition to a new label." Jeff announced to silence the constant arguing that was persuing. "A 'transition'? Is that what you expect to happen? The next lable will just pick us up and give us the perks we need to survive in this industry?" Brian commented with dismay. "We're working on deals as we hold this meeting Brian." a lawyer protested. "Working on deals won't stop Jive from suing us or from anyone else from taking advantage of this situation." A.J. tried to follow Brian's argument. "Let's just say that we've taken all precautions needed for this type of situation." James assured them with a sly smile. "Oh, I bet." Brian rolled his eyes at the suggestion. "We have all of your affairs, financial and otherwise, in mind here Mr. Littrell." Linda tried to shake doubt from him. "You don't have all of my affairs in mind Linda, that's the problem." Brian disagreed quickly.

"We'll leave that topic for further discussion Brian. Right now we do have other subjects to discuss." Jeff contended. "Such as?" Kevin was titillated with the idea of changing subjects, seeing how heated his cousin was becoming. "Well..." Jeff's words slipped out as he signaled for Linda to pass around another packet of papers. "I'd like for all of you to look over your tour arrangements for this upcoming tour. While you're looking over those, I think this would be an appropriate time for James to talk with A.J. and Denise about the arrangements for Amanda." Jeff advised while each member of the Backstreet Boys received a copy of the packet.

Justin slipped off his Tar Heels hat and slid it on Brian's head. He slid his own chair closer to Brian's and wrapped an arm around him. "You okay babe?" Justin questioned, snuggling Brian's body to his own. "I'm just a little pissed right now." Brian sighed, attempting to release his animosity. "Don't think about it Brian. Let everyone else deal with all the legal red tape." Justin advised. "I just don't want to see my group fail because of some unwise decision forced upon them by suit wearing lawyers and power hungry managers." Brian whispered, dropping his head slightly. "It's not the end or anything Bri. You're just changing labels." Justin tried to reassure him. Brian nodded, beginning to flip through his copy of the tour arrangements. "It's just that we were going to be on the same label together... and tour together and work together..." Brian let his words slip out like they were marbles rolling off the rains of the jungle. "We'll be together baby... always." Justin whispered, rolling his left hand over Brian's so that their rings touched.

"I guess someone forgot to give you your copy of the arrangements Justin." Nick's voice interrupted them abruptly. Jstin looked up from his position with Brian and saw Nick holding out a packet of papers for Justin to look at. "Why would I need a copy? Brian always leaves me a list of places he'll be." Justin gave Nick a crooked stare. "Well we'd thought maybe you'd like a copy of where you would be." Brian giggled, catching Justin's stare with Nick. "Huh?" Justin's eyes shifted from Nick to Brian, still lost in a virtural world of confusion. "I guess you didn't tell him?" Nick's eyes glanced at Brian for a few moments. "I suppose now would be an oppurtune time?" Brian giggled. The perplexity of the conversation was becoming more difficult for Justin to follow. "Could someone clue me in on what is happening?" Justin pleaded, breaking Nick and Brian's playful stare. "Oh you're still here?" Nick joked with Justin. "Uhm, yes." Justin replied sorely. "Well clue him in Mr. Littrell. He is your husband." Nick suggested, rolling his eyes towards Justin.

Brian laughed softly before turning his head back to Justin. "What Nick is trying to say is you'll need to know about what's happening schedule and travel wise if you're going to be with us." Brian left a less mysterious answer in Justin's lap. "But..." Justin thought over Brian's words as his own words escaped his lips. "Gee, are you slow." Nick groaned before walking away. "Wait... that means?!" Justin's eyes shimmered open with the light of the blue ocean. "Yes, it does mean you'll be with me baby... for the first week only, but yes." Brian nodded with delight. Justin let BJ rest in his lap before his arms secured themselves around Brian's neck with joy. "I cleared everything with your management before this whole schedule change. You'll be on tour with me for a full week before you have to come back here." Brian chimed in as Justin's arms squeezed tighter. "All I want is to be with you for just a week baby." Justin sighed thankfully. "You've got it then." Brian continued with a soft laughter. Justin placed a soft and gentle kiss on Brian's cheek and then proceeded to rub it in.

"Well everyone I do believe that ends our meeting for now. I know Denise needs to see Nick and Howie about some publicity things and Kevin, you need to get on the phone with an interviewer, but the rest of you are free to go about your business." Jeff spoke up, ending the meeting for the Backstreet Boys.

"Justin, can I see you about some things?" Linda called out to Justin as everyone stood. Brian peered at Linda as Justin nodded. "I can catch up with you babe." Justin turned to Brian for his words. Brian sighed and then nodded for Justin. Justin carefully handed BJ to Brian before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "Just make sure to meet me somewhere in the lobby babe." Brian advised as he cuddled BJ. "Okay." Justin smiled, brushing Brian's hair back. "I'll miss you babe." Brian whispered, pouting his lips for Justin. "I'll miss you too Bri." Justin gleamed, leaning forward and pressing his lips on Brian's. Brian smiled within the kiss and began to let Justin's lips slowly caress his.

"Uhm, maybe you could let his lips go so the rest of his body can meet with Linda?" Kevin suggested, nudging Brian. Brian groaned heavily and pulled away from the kiss. "You just don't believe in anything romantic, do you?!" Brian suddenly barked at Kevin. "Excuse me?" Kevin's defenses became automatic with Brian. "Me and my husband we're trying to share a simple moment and once again here comes good ol' Kevin to fuck things up again." Brian hissed in his thick country accent. "Watch your language little boy. If you call kissing after a stressful meeting a 'moment', then maybe you should try learning the meaning of romance again." Kevin stated boldly. "Any minute with my husband is a moment of romance Kevin. I don't have to wait for special occassions to show him how I feel." Brian growled.

"Hey you two, let it go!" A.J. shouted towards them. "Let's not argue over petty things boys." Jeff warned them with a stern stare. "We won't have to when some of us grow up." Kevin eyed Brian with disgust. "When you get out of your diapers and stop sucking on your pacifier, let me know." Brian made his final comment to Kevin before walking out of the conference room.

Justin groaned and then swiftly slapped Kevin's arm. "What?!" Kevin complained as his eyes shifted to Justin. "For a relative, you sure are trying to piss Brian off." Justin warned him with cold blue eyes. "Well he just needs to stop acting like the world revolves around him." Kevin shrugged, giving no regret for his actions. "You need to realize that my world does revolve around him." Justin brooded. "Well I'm sorry. Brian acts like he's four when he's really twenty four. That shit pisses me off." Kevin huffed. "Funny, you do the same." Justin commented as he walked towards Linda. Kevin mocked him before grabbing his posessions to leave.

Just Beginning (Chapter 43) Written by JM

She sat almost stiff with exhaustion. Her smile had weakened hours ago. Her glossy lips were dipped in a pink color. Her eyes seemed to become heavy with her fatigue. Her smooth complexion was accented by her rich, black hair. She let her black hair slip no further than her shoulders. She pushed back a piece of her hair so it rested behind her ear. She could hear the light sounds of a song playing in the closed background. The song was infinitely titled 'Inner Denial', an emotion that this woman seemed to overcome by sitting in the office she sat in. Her pale blue eyes glanced forward before she blinked a small tear away from her eyelids.

I made myself believe I was in love

Carried my heart on my arm

I fooled my mind into thinking about us

As this special feeling that was trust

She began to fiddle with her acrylic nails as the song continued to play in her head. She glanced down at a silver bracelet that she knew too well before smiling.

I can't stop this inner denial

I am the bird on a wire

"Amanda? Amanda?" she heard her name being called by another female voice. Amanda glanced up from that bracelet to see a pair of blue eyes staring cautiously at her. "Yes Ms Lynn?" Amanda responded softly. "We should continue this discussion about your leave of absence." Lynn advised, shuffling a few papers around her desk. Amanda nodded and took her mind off of the sounds of her own groupmates, the girls of Innosense.

"Now all of the girls know that you are now taking your technical 'maternity leave' now, right?" Lynn questioned, glancing over a couple of contracts as she spoke. "Yeah... they know... but V and Mandy still aren't too thrilled about it." Amanda sighed, letting her eyes drop. Lynn looked up to her with a frown. "I'm sorry Amanda. I know this is hard on all of you. It's difficult dealing with it myself, not having you around with the group or on the Britney tour." Lynn sympathized with Amanda. Lynn looked at her as if she was a daughter. She looked on each girl from Innosense the same way. Each were the daughter she never had and she imparted them with as much love as she gave to her birth son, Justin Littrell. "I'm sure they'll get used to Jenny and they'll get over me not being there." Amanda let her words go soft. "Now Amanda, I told you Jennifer is only temporarily and she knows that. She's just a replacement for the time being. After you give birth to your baby, we will work out all of the fundings and contracts to make sure you're back with Innosense." Lynn assured her with great regard. "It's going to be hard to do that when the publicists here have already filtered through the grapevyne that I've 'left' the group and that Jenny was chosen to replace me." Amanda disagreed with distress. "Yes, I've heard the wonderful story about you having disagreements with the girls and wanting to seek a solo career. We'll ride out on that story for now... but I guarantee you that you'll be back with the girls when you're ready to return." Lynn said with a strong affirmination. "I hope so Ms Lynn." Amanda nodded.

"Don't you worry your pretty head off girl. You'll get all stressed out and make the baby upset." Lynn smiled grandly towards Amanda. "That's one of my concerns." Amanda commented nonchalantly. "What?" Lynn quickly spoke up. "Nothing Ms Lynn." Amanda lamented. "No Amanda, tell me what's wrong." Lynn demanded, placing her contracts down to devote her full attention to Amanda. Amanda shyly looked back up to Lynn with a flushed face. "The doctors said that due to some of my family's history, there is chance a of miscarriage. My aunt had one and my cousin has had two," Amanda explained. Lynn leaned back in her office chair and began to nibble on her lower lip with nervousness. "They say it could be hereditary and I... well I don't want to tell A.J. just yet but it's a lot for me to deal with right now. I know stress isn't good but how can you not think about something like that?" Amanda finished her statement, tears assaulting her eyes.

Lynn grasped her pen and began to tap it on the edge of her desk. "Amanda... I'm going to get the best doctors working on this. I'm going to make sure you have ample time to yourself and that everything is set for you. Even while we're away on tour, I'm going to make sure someone's looking after you and you're going to your doctor's appointments and everything." Lynn let all of her words fall out in an executive manner. "But Ms Lynn, you've done enough for me already..." Amanda's words were cut off by Lynn's. "And I'm going to keep helping you. You... and all the girls are very special to me and my family." Lynn's smile never seemed to faulter. Amanda giggled lightly, feeling a relief sweep her body. She placed her hands ontop of her pregnant stomach and rubbed it with satisfaction.

"So have you finished all of your studio time for the album?" Lynn questioned, rolling her chair to her master stereo remote to change the track on the CD player. "Yes, I have. The girls are downstairs now listening to a song they just cut with Jenny." Amanda replied, wiping the few tears from her eyes. "Mmm, they've only recorded four songs with her and that's all they'll have time for. RCA says it's not postponing the release of the CD because they want it out and ready for the tour." Lynn informed Amanda. "So my vocals are staying?" Amanda questioned with surprise. "Yes, they are. We don't have time to re-do a whole CD. Plus you are still a part of this group. Jenny will just have her songs on the album and that's it. We're working out a master list and we'll have that finalized sometime next week. So you're material stays as does your pictures for the album artwork. They'll be insterting a few pictures with Jenny, a group picture with her and one with you and an individual one for her. So it's like a split position for you two." Lynn responded. "And Jenny will perform my parts live?" Amanda asked shyly. "I don't know... that's up to the girls and the vocal coach to work out. It's like the Spice Girls... either they'll cover for you or they won't." Lynn shrugged, pulling a few contracts from a folder. "So basically I get to be Ginger Spice?" Amanda laughed loudly.

"Girl, you know you'll always be Panda Spice." she heard a voice say from the doorway. Amanda glanced over her shoulder to see Nikki enter the office with a smile. "Hey Peaches." Amanda chimed in properly. "Hey Amanda, what's up? Getting your gear together to bail?" Nikki joked, giving Amanda a partial hug. "You know it. I don't want to be around for your performance on Britney's tour." Amanda laughed, releasing Nikki from the hug. "Yeah yeah yeah. You'll be wishing you were there." Nikki rolled her eyes playfully at Amanda. "And you'll be wishing the same if you don't get downstairs for rehearsals. What are you doing her Nikki?" Lynn questioned swiftly. "Oh sorry Ms Lynn. Veronica, Danay and the choreographer are working with Jenny downstairs. So me and Mandy took a break." Nikki explained. Lynn eyed her and then grinned.

"Have you guys sat down and talked about a second single ye?" Lynn asked, setting the CD player to play track ten. "We're talking about it... we think we should go with 'Still Thinkin' About Him' since that features Jenny." Nikki's words out came in synch with the track being played within the office. "Good choice." Lynn nodded, knowing she wouldn't have to use her words of advice to convince the group.

Amanda bobbed her head to the music that began filling the office. She was beginning to like the track even though she knew she wasn't apart of the track. It was an empty feeling she had learned to accept with Jenny 'replacing' her within the ranks of her friends.

I just can't stop myself from thinkin' about him

About him, about him

It doesn't matter what I say or what I do

I can't fight it

I'm still thinkin' about him

I just want a chance

To prove I can fall for another man

I just can't stop myself from thinkin' about him

"Thank God we shot the first video before this girl started getting heavy." Nikki laughed, rubbing Amanda's stomach. "Oh hush." Amanda giggled, remembering making the video for 'If I Can Have You' a couple of months ago. "We'd hate for everyone to see old pregnant Amanda trying to do dance steps now." Nikki snickered. Amanda pushed her away impishly. "Well at least you have a second single in mind now. Let's hope that doesn't keep you guys from doing anything else before the tour." Lynn's business side interrupted their prankish moment. "We'll have it all taken care of Ms Lynn, don't you worry." Nikki winked at her with a smile. "Good... that's what I want to hear." Lynn nodded, looking down to her papers again.

"Ms Lynn, maybe we should uhm talk about this Trans Con and 'N Sync thing? Will this change our group at all?" Nikki asked, showing her shyness through her rosey cheeks. Lynn lifted her eyes, the anger flaring a luster through them. "I think it might after awhile. That pretentious, arrogant and prevaricator Lou Pearlman has pushed my buttons just one too many times. How dare he sue my son and his group for making a just decision? And then he dares to smile in reporters' faces as if they are still what his bemused mind would call 'family'? He must be insane." Lynn said with deep resentment towards the funder of the 'N Sync project. "He is rather greedy. That's why I think we need to re-think releasing with them. Work out a new contract with RCA or something." Amanda suggested, her argumentatibe side taking control. "Do you think he'll do the same to us?" Nikki asked naively. "There's no questioning that. I'm trying to work out deals constantly to pull you girls from your contract with him." Lynn answered promptly. "To think of the drama Lou could cause just because 'N Sync wants to change labels." Nikki shook her head in disgust. Amanda nodded, trying not to argue a point for the group she would not be touring with.

"I should get going... I don't want A.J. to have to wait for me forever." Amanda said, glancing down at her watch. "Yeah, we all know how testy he can be." Nikki giggled, helping Amanda stand from her chair. "My man's not testy... well except when he hasn't changed his pad in a couple of days." Amanda joked along with her. Nikki drapped her head back with laughter as Amanda walked for the door. "You two need to seek help, you know?" Lynn smirked. "Can you prescribe someone Ms Lynn?" Nikki continued with her childish antics as she followed Amanda out of the door. "You are too far gone for any help Nikki." Lynn replied.

"Maybe it's because of her boyfriend?" a male's voice carried in the laughter, greeting Lynn with a smile. Lynn pouted a smile as she glanced at Justin standing in the doorway. "Come in Justin.. er, Mr. Littrell." Lynn giggled, inviting her son in with a polite nature. Justin contently walked into the office and closed the door behind him.

Nick walked down one of the many stretched out halls where workers ran around steadily. He held up his cell phone and glanced at the small, numerical digits as interns passed him by with open-eyed stares. 'Maybe I should check my voice mail...' Nick pondered. He shrugged and began to dial a few numbers. He held the phone up to his ear and looked straight ahead so that no one ran into him as he walked.

'Hi, this is Josh and you've got my voice mail. Lucky you. Please leave a message for me... a detailed one... and I'll be sure to call you back as soon as I wrap up whatever I'm doing with these goofs in 'N Sync. Much love to you.'

"Damn, I dialed Josh's voice mail. Oh well, I might as well check his messages while I'm at it." Nick grumbled, dialing in the password for J.C.'s voice mail. He held the phone back to his ear and listened as the machine-recorded voice came over the phone.

'You have five new messages on your voice mail.'

'Hey Josh, it's your little bro, Tyler. What's up man? You know you haven't called me this week and I'm going to have a fit! Just kidding bro. Is everything okay with you? I hope so. I need you to call me back though becase I hate leaving messages with my problems. I need some advice bro... uhm, on a girl. Yeah yeah yeah, I bet that thrills you. But really.. I need one of those heart-to-heart talks with you. I think I've got the one... yeah, I know, I've said THAT one before. But actually, not the one of my dreams.. but the one I want lose my... well just call me and we'll talk about it. Thanks bro. Mom and dad send their love. Call me! Love ya.'

'Hello Mr. Chasez, this is Barbara with Jive Records. We understand that your group is going through some legal matters as it is with Mr. Pearlman and we are not trying to push anything with your group. As it stands though... one of our groups, that is on Jive Records, would actually be interesed in working with you. The group Steps would love it if you could work with them on some material for their new album. If you could find some time to contact me or a representative here at Jive, we'd appreciate. Leave a message on my voice mail if possible. Thank you.'

'Hey cutie, it's Peaches. I just wanted to leave you a message and see what was up with you. I know me and the girls are busy as of late and we'll be headed on tour soon but I'd still like to talk with you Josh. You know we've always been close like that. So uhm, call me? I'll free up some time and we can chat over lunch... like the old days. Okay babe? It'd be nice. I love you Joshua and call me. And tell that ol' Frack, Nickolas, that I said hi!'

Nick felt a bit shaken by the message. 'What does Nikki want? Doesn't she want to spend time with Kev instead of Josh?' Nick thought over between messages. He shook his head, having faith that Nikki was just trying to talk with an old friend. He let a few strands of his blonde hair fall from his ear, swaying past his eye as he walked. He listened for the fourth message with discontent.

'Hey Joshua... it's uhm, well you know who this is. I know I could say this in person... but I really don't want to. Just now right now. Right now I'd prefer do this on your voice mail or even on the phone. I know I haven't been the nicest person... or the greatest person but I still love you. You've been a true friend to me and I've been... well I've tried in the past to be the same. I'm caught right now Josh. I caught between who I love and who I just want to be with. It's getting harder and harder to decide. It's not easy for me anymore. It could be. I could just say, 'Fuck it.. just pick one.' But I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be in love with someone. That's why I'm calling you. I can't talk to my mom, my dad or my sister about this. I've always had this fond love for you and I know yo can help me. Please help me Josh, okay? I'd like to talk with you... anytime I can. So when we can free some time for each other and stop chasing around, let's do that, okay? I still love... I just need to talk with you. Thanks Josh. Talk to you soon. Call my office and leave a message for James, okay? Bye Josh.'

Nick wanted to drop the phone from his hands at that moment. He felt light headed for a few seconds. I closed his eyes tightly and stopped his walk down the long hall. He was no longer steadfast in his movement. His thoughts were shakey. 'Why? Why would he say this now?! What the fuck is wrong with him?' Nick's anger grew with his deliberation. 'Well it's not happening. Not this time.' Nick brooded. He clicked a button and heard the message from the opreator say, "Message has been erased." Nick sighed deeply and then listened to the final message.

'Okay JC this is... JC! Well anyway, this is the song you had in your head. Remember not to let Nick hear or know about this. You've gotta finish these lyrics before he gets to hear it. So I'm singing this into my voice mail. Now write these lyrics down idiot!'

I've searched in the shadows

I've cried under the moon

No one has been able to cure me

Except for you

When the spotlight has faded

When the curtain was pulled

I used to have nothing to look forward to

Until I found you

There are no more storms in my way

I have no more hazy thoughts

I no longer walk through the sands

Wondering where to place my heart

Because of you, I'm out of the rain

Because of love, it's finally changed

My tears are for pride and not for sorrow

I hold onto today and cherish tomorrow

Just cause of you, I'm out of the rain

There's no more blue tears covering my face

You're the only one I look for

Everytime I walk through the door

'There we go... now finish this song and give it to Nick silly! I can't believe I'm talking to myself on my own voice mail. Okay, I'm hanging up my cell phone now!'

Nick's eyes were filled with drops of tranquillity. Suddenly his anger had faded and his mind was dazed again. This time the daze was of a merciful emotion. He was caught in the sounds of J.C.'s voice singing into the voice mail. The pitch in it's perfect state and the words reflected a love that Nick and J.C. shared. He pulled the phone from his ear and ended his call. He stared at the phone for even more minutes, as if he waited for each grain of sand to drop to the bottom of the hourglass.

"Hey Nick, you okay?" a voice caused the last grain to drop as Nick's head lifted. His doughy blue eyes caught a familiar voice but the face seemed different. He saw a pair of mahogany eyes staring into his own. "Chris?" Nick questioned as he looked at him. "Uhm, yeah." Chris laughed, trying to see past silver-lined tears that crescented Nick's eyelids. "You look different!" Nick exclaimed, laughing slightly, drying his eyes with his finger. "Maybe it's the hair." Chris snickered, pointing to his head.

Nick stepped back to take a good look at Chris. Chris's hair was shortly cut, giving a shorter look to Nick's hair. It was split in the middle so the ends caressed the sides of Chris's face. His side burns were still thick and they accented his cheeks as his goatee wrapped his chin in chestnut brown hair. He wore a light gray, alsmot see-through sweater, navy blue cargo pants and a silver chain that glared within the bright lights of the hall.

"Are you okay?" Chris laughed, trying to figure out why Nick's mood had all of the sudden become a silenced one. "Yeah... I'm fine. It's about time you cut those snakes out of your hair." Nick tried to fake a laugh as he spoke. "Well I just wanted a change, that's all." Chris shrugged, still unsure about Nick's obscure behavior. "I think you accomplished that." Nick finally released a genuine giggle. "Because I'm cool like that." Chris chimed, pushing back his own brown hair.

"And there goes someone else who is cool..." Chris's words slipped out as he watched the female approaching. Nick turned his body in the direction of Chris's stare. He saw the woman approaching with a keen smile. Her silky, mahogany brown hair was hidden behind a scarlet red cowboy hat. Her cinnamon toned skin was hidden underneath a red halter top and black capri's. Her bronze shaded eyes were shaded by the shadows of the cowboy hat as she swayed her hips with her advance. She tilted the hat up slightly and smiled, letting her smoothly glossed lips shine. "Yes, she is a very crisp, cool looking woman." Nick agreed softly. "Hey Nick, I don't want you checking out my girlfriend, okay?" Chris joked, throwing an arm around Nick's shoulder as he stared at Meelah. Nick nudged him to silence him so that Meelah's ears did not hear him.

"What are you two fellas doing?" Meelah questioned, halting in front of them. "Watch you beautiful." Chris cooed at her. "Hmmm, that sounds about right." Nick agreed. Meelah blushed slightly, turning her head down. "But then again, I'm always doing that," Chris added, releasing Nick and placing the arm around Meelah's shoulders. "It's my favorite past time." Chris's flirtatious habits never failed him. "Well you can do that while we're in L.A. then." Meelah laughed, trying to draw the attention away from her. "You're heading to L.A.?" Nick questioned with curiosity written in his smile. "Yeah, since Justin will be away... we're all taking a little break. I'm going to L.A., I'll probably do a few appearances while I'm there and then I'll be with Meelah and the girls." Chris responded. "And Josh is going to be in New York right?" Nick tried to ponder on other issues as time pressed on. "Yeah, I think he and Joey will do TRL twice while they're there and Joey's going to be visting family while J.C. is working with some artists in the studio. He may be just writing songs for people." Chris answered him with the knowledge he knew of. 'Hopefully he's writing songs for my album...' Nick sighed to himself. "And isn't Lance going home for a few days?" Meelah queried. "I think so." Chris's eyes searched for an emotion in Nick's eyes towards the question. Nick looked away quickly and stared at the ground, trying to hide his feelings towards Lance. He failed.

"Well it doesn't matter though because we'll all meet up after Josh and Justin come back anyway." Chris commented, trying to draw Nick's eyes back up into the conversation. "Yeah... but Josh is only going to be with us the first three days of the tour," Nick sighed out. "Three days are better than none. And I'm sure that Josh will make time during his days off to visit you. It's a push and pull system but it can work." Chris stated, trying to bring hope to Nick's mind. "It's true Nick." Meelah added. "I know it's true. I'm looking forward to seeing him or hearing from him when I'm away. I just hate that I'm going to be 'away' again. Tours are getting rougher when I actually have someone that can't be there with me." Nick stated. He exhaled heavily and tilted his head slightly. "It'll be okay Nick, you'll see." Chris assured him, dropping his hand to Nick's shoulder. Nick glanced to the hand and saw comfort in a close friend. "He's been wrong about worst things Nick, trust me." Meelah's words were added again, causing Nick to lose his inhibitions towards talking about his relationship with J.C. "Thanks guys... I think I needed that boost of confidence right about now." Nick smiled innocently. "We all do some times." Chris agreed. Meelah nodded. She cuddled to Chris and let their conversation continue on a mutual level.

Brian adjusted Justin's hat on his head as he walked with Britney Spears and Joey Fatone towards a couple of the mid-offices within the large building. "You know Brian... BJ is gaining a little weight." Britney commented, rubbing BJ's head as she carried her. "Yeah... Justin and me changed the dog's food, I think that's it." Brian replied, gazing ahead. "She's looks kind of glassy eyed too." Britney added, staring down into the dog's mirroring eyes. "Are you trying to find something wrong with her or are you just being genuinely concerned?" Joey proposed, trying to cease Britney's sudden suspicions. "I'm concerned Joey." Britney replied snobbishly. "That's cute." Joey laughed, brushing his hand over her honey blonde hair. "It's not cute, I don't want anything to happen to lil' BJ." Britney retorted, snuggling to the weary dog. Joey grinned, twisting his fingers through her hair for comfort. "Maybe I should take her to the vet'?" Brian pondered the idea. "I think you should, just to be sure." Britney agreed in her bubbly tone.

Britney's smile was cut short as her eyes caught a glimpse of the office area they walked into. Her feet stopped and she held her position as she stared at a woman sitting in the lobby of the office area. With her legs crossed, her hands firmly placed in her lap and her eyes staring in a opposite direction, the blonde did not catch onto the voices that had been spoken in approach. "Maybe we should go the other way." Britney advised in a low hiss.

The blonde shifted her head when she heard the slight whimper of BJ. Her eyes glowed with content when they met with Brian's. "Hi Bri." she said kindly. Brian stared at her for seconds before turning his head to Joey. "Maybe Britney's right." he whispered to Joey with a frown. "Grow up... both of you." Joey suggested, turning his head to the blonde. Britney rolled her eyes and took a step back from their position. "No need to act like a stranger Britney... I don't bite anymore." the woman commented, catching Britney's stiff glance. "I don't like trouble and it seems to be tattooed all over your body." Britney replied bitterly. "No need to be immature about this Britney, I did not know any of you would be here today. As you can see, I'm on the opposite side of the building while the Backstreet Boys offices don't even extend this far." the woman smiled at Britney.

"Then what are you doing here Leigh Ann?" Brian's question finally crossed his troublesome, pink lips. "I have other affairs to attend to now Brian. If you'd call, I could set up a lunch between us. Yet it seems since that... well since things have happened, you seem to want to avoid me." Leigh Ann replied with a short and uninformative answer. "You didn't answer my question." Brian rebuttled quickly. Leigh Ann sighed and pulled her purse into his lap. "Brian, I think me and you need a private conversation about some things." Leigh Ann pressed. Britney became stiff with the thought of being near Leigh Ann. "Joey, why don't we go see what the others are up to? Maybe grab something to eat before I have my meeting with Johnny and the tour promoters." Britney suggested, hugging onto BJ. Joey didn't return glances with Britney. He kept a steadfast gaze with Leigh Ann. "Leigh Ann, after yesterday, I ask that you not be here to cause anymore troubles. Your interview and your prevaricating of the truth yesterday was more than enough to show that you are an added stress that we do not need within our lives at this time." Joey's words may have been soft but they were heard and direct. Leigh Ann slumped in her chair and shook her head. "Yesterday was an incident that I care not to discuss again. However if you must know why I am here, to rid your mind of preconceived thoughts, I am here on a job. I am in talks with C-Note's management to appear in their video for 'One Night With You'. They need an actress to protray the leading lady and Lou Pearlman recommended me. So that is why I am here today, not for Brian or the Backstreet boys or 'N Sync." Leigh Ann responded with a confident face. Joey nodded and released her from his interrogation.

Britney stepped forward and passed BJ into Brian's arms. "I think we should go now." Britney said softly to Joey. Joey grabbed her hand and then looked at Brian. "We'll tell Justin that you are handling some business matters right now." Joey said. Brian scratched BJ's head and then glanced at Joey. "Thanks Joey, I... uhm.. appreciate it." Brian replied with a soft smile. Joey gave Leigh Ann one more look before waving goodbye to Brian. He escorted Britney from the area, thankful that Britney had managed to contain her anger.

Brian walked over to Leigh Ann and took a seat next to her. He let BJ rest in his lap as he awaited Leigh Ann's motives for their conversation. He let his teal shaded eyes dance in her blue eyes. His lips were pressed tightly, trying to remain patient within the wait. She smiled at him and then casted her flaxen hair back. "Well..." Brian tried to draw it out of her in a less subtle way. "I just wanted to talk without those two standing around judging me." Leigh Ann replied daintily. "What makes you think I'm not judging you?" Brian questioned sharply. "Because for the time that I've known you, you've never judged people directly on certain things. You're more gentle than that." Leigh Ann with her delicate smile. "Don't gte your hopes so high Leigh Ann, you've done quite enough damage in my life." Brian's eyes turned cold within her's. "Well that wasn't my goal... my goal was to try and make life a bit easier for you." Leigh Ann whispered. "No your goal was to get me back. Your goal was to play with Justin's mind and anyone else's mind that wasn't supporting your self-righteous act to get me where you wanted me. Your goal was to ruin my marriage and to have me right back in your arms. Guess what Leigh Ann? Your tell all interview didn't change much but it opened my eyes." Brian finally expressed himself after months of bent up anger. "Brian.. stop.. that's not what I wanted. I wanted some truth finally exposed for everyone," Leigh Ann pleaded with Brian, drapping her hand over his. Brian stared down at the hand with anger filling his eyes. "Is that what you're calling it now? 'Truth'?" Brian said sarcastically. Brian pulled his hand away slowly. "I wouldn't call it fiction... but I couldn't just say to the reporter, 'My ex-boyfriend is married to Justin Timberlake and he's not coming back to me'. I don't know that." Leigh Ann replied with little defense.

"You do know that. There's no denying that." Brian disgareed strongly. "No Brian, I don't know that. I don't know that if you walk away right now that I'll just get over you. I don't know that if I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to have a job. I don't know if when I get in my car, it won't break down on the side of the road. Just like you don't know if you'll love Justin in a week. You don't know if Justin might cheat on you one day and you don't know if you'll even wake up tomorrow. We don't know what the future holds and we can't be so quick to decide it." Leigh Ann argued in a sincere voice. Brian pulled back into his seat with ponderment. "You can't just end it like that." Leigh Ann added. "I can because I have to. The past isn't changing because you can make a few adjustments to the way you look at things." Brian replied, letting his voice go shallow. Leigh Ann shook her head and extended her hand to his again.

"I was your girlfriend... you had to feel some love for me and you still do. I'm not here to win you back but to end this mindless game that Justin and Britney seem to have you running in." Leigh Ann let her subtly run dry with her words. "My husband, my friends, my family don't have me in any game. You do and I'm finally saying no." Brian argued, raising his boice slightly. Leigh Ann sighed and gripped his hand. "My lawyers told me to sue Britney. They told me to take her for her money and to expose her for what she was. They wanted me to pull full legal conduct on this one for what she did yesterday. I however had other plans." Leigh Ann explained. "As you always do Leigh Ann. What is it this time? If I sleep with you one time you'll drop the claims?" Brian questioned with a passion. Leigh Ann frowned slightly and rolled her eyes. "Not even close Brian. I negotitated to spare myself and Britney that drama. I got in contact with Jive and pulled a little weight. So all I did was make sre word did not get out about it and I contracted myself for some work with Jive and other artists. I have to make money to survive." Leigh Ann retorted, glorifying her accomplishments. Brian sighed, letting his hand slip from hers again. "What does this mean for me and Justin?" Brian asked, searching for her motives. "Nothing. I haven't signed on for any Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync videos... yet. No one's asked or come forth about it. I just know I'm sparing Britney a lot of flaming, so I hope she appreciates it because my lawyers were ready to boil her alive." Leigh Ann answered him with honesty. "Well thank you Leigh Ann." Brian replied queitly. Leigh Ann nodded, letting a silence set between them.

Leigh Ann drew her hand through her hair and sighed innocently. "We were happy once.. I know we were." Leigh Ann commented, watching workers pass by. "There's no use in dwelling on the past." Brian added, watching the same passer-byers with wonder. "The past can have a direct influence on the future." Leigh Ann tested her waters. Brian shook his head. "Maybe for you but not for me. What's in the past needs to stay in the past. I want to move on from there." Brian stated. "I think things are going nicely for me... I got a call from your brother today." Leigh Ann smiled. Brian turned his head in her direction, reclining in his seat. "Why?" Brian let another question roll off his tongue. "He just wanted to see how I ws and I wanted to know how he was." Leigh Ann replied. Brian peered at her. Leigh Ann gave him a glance and then giggled. "Brian, I did date your brother for a couple of weeks you know. We had something... I guess." Leigh Ann shrugged. Brian removed Justin's hat and placed it on top of BJ. "I have serious doubts and you know that. What you did to him was beyond ridiculous and I'll never forgive you for that." Brian hissed at her. "Take a number..." Leigh Ann huffed. Brian gently massaged his temples, wanting to pull away from the stress of Leigh Ann.

"Me and your brother had sex the first week we dated." Leigh Ann let a side note slip out of her mouth before she caught herself. "Why the hell do I want to know that?!" Brian barked at her suddenly. Leigh Ann furrowed her brow and then crinkled her nose. "Let me finish Brian." she groaned. Brian sucked in air through his teeth and then looked the opposite way. "I thought I was pregnant and he knew it. I think that complicated things because we didn't use protection the first time. So there was a pregnancy scare and we promised not to tell anyone. He kept his bargain but I'm breaking it by telling you. If that had happened, I would be connected to you inevitably." Leigh Ann explained, her eyes blinking quickly as water filled them. "You'd love that." Brian sneered. "No I wouldn't! What good would it be to have a child by your brother and not you. How could I win you then? And then to find out that I wasn't in love with Harold?! I'd bring a child into this world with two unloving parents. That's selfish and not me. I wouldn't be ready to handle something that deep." Leigh Ann sobbed softly. Brian turned to her with deep concern, hearing her cries through her words. Her voice became rigid and she looked down into her lap.

Brian slid an arm around Leigh Ann's shoulders. "I didn't know Leigh Ann." Brian whispered, easing near her. "I know you didn't. I made him promise never to mention it to you. I had been unfaihtful to my own bond... that promise I made to make you mine. That's why I try so hard to make Justin be unfaithful. I want him to be unjust to make my life seem better. Why can't he fuck up and not handle things so maturely?" Leigh Ann sniffled with anger. "Because he has my heart and that's how it should be. You can't win me over Leigh Ann." Brian reminded her. "I mean Harold called me to make sure I was okay and to tell me that he loved me. What kind of bastard is he? Can't he see that I used him to try and fuck you? Can't he see that I'm no good and that I couldn't have carried his child? I would have... I would have probably lied and said it was yours somehow." Leigh Ann didn't fight her pain and tears. Brian let her head meet his shoulders as her tears clothed his shirt. "You can't make it right. You can't make it seem like it's all a nightmare. It's the life you've built." Brian didn't attempt to cushion her fall. "The life I've fucked up royaly Brian." Leigh Ann added. "Harold doesn't just give up on people he cares for. He tries but it doesn't ever work. And for you to be that close... to almost have his child... there's a connection that he doesn't want to lose." Brian explained.

Leigh Ann pulled back quickly with a frown. "Can't you see that's how I feel for you?! All I wanted was to be with you. You treated me like no man did when we were together and I can understand that I jmped the gn by saying we were going to get married but can't you see that that would have been so ideal for me. If you would have given your virginity to me... if I could have had your child. If you would let me be with you while you were with the Backstreet Boys. I'm not fucking jealous of Justin because he could never understand all the dreams I had for us." Leigh Ann blurted out, her voice rising and falling with emphasis. Brian pulled his arm from her with shock. "Don't you see Leigh Ann... he's what I want. I didn't ask for anything but I got someone that I love. You can live within your dremas but don't drag my bro' along. Give this petty and useless attempt up because it's no longer fair to me, Harold, Justin, Britney or any of the guys." Brian chastised her with an iron heart. Leigh Ann drew back with more tears. "He can't love me like you did." Leigh Ann whimpered, standing from her chair.

She snatched up her purse and began a less sultry walk towards the offices, her tears still staining the chair she sat in. Brian looked down with shame. 'What's wrong with her. I almost had her admitting to the fact that she didn't need me and then...' Brian stopped his thoughts. He knew she could no longer be a part of his life. Her obsession was thick and strong, like the fog covering London's skies. He lifted BJ and himself from the seat and walked away from the area that held Leigh Ann's confession and downfall.

Just Beginning (Chapter 44) Written by JM

It was poetry within the written lyrics. His eyes focused on a few photographs in front of him. He slid his pale fingers over a few of the pictures as tears began to trickle like rain drops onto the pictures. He pressed a finger over the face he once knew as a lover and a friend. His hand then slide to the fact of a man that he knew only as a lover and never truly as a friend. There were however equal comparissions that ran throguh his head. His sniffle was not heard under the resonance of the orchestral ballad playing within the office.

I heard from a friend today

And she said you were in town

Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind

How can I be strong I've asked myself

Time and time I've said

That I'll never fall in love with you again

A wounded heart you gave

My soul you took away

Good intentions, you had many

I know you did

He pushed a hand over his icy blonde hair while the other held onto the photo of his former lover. Someone he did not know inside. He sniffled again as another tear fell. The captivation of lust only held what secret society he yearned for. He had somehow helped this lover learn more of himself with the up's and down's they shared. And yet somehow his former lover was not the one grieving. So many promises were left in the dry desert of their erstwhile love. His soul was so easily pierced and then stolen by this lover. He was not good at holding a strong suit in thier love. He was the vulnerable one. As so many tales have shown him, the vulnerable one does not hold much promise as the survivor yet the vulnerable one is the one that holds the memories within the heart.

I come from a place that hurts

And God knows how I've cried

And I never want to return

Never fall again

Making love to you

Oh it felt so good and

Oh so right

How can I be strong I've asked myself

Time and time I've said

That I'll never fall in love with you again

His pale hands helped him to tear the picture apart, slicing it through the middle. He lte the picture fall oto the desk, cursing the past that he shared with his past lover. He grabbed the other picture and hesitated in staring into the glossy eyes of the picture. It a more poetic way, he let his pale green eyes catch the light of the picture. He sniffled again, wiping away a tear that wanted to caress his cheek like a taunting lover. In the eyes of the picture was something sacred. Those eyes were the frined he needed at his lowest point. That smile was the one he woke to in the morning. This lover meant more to his heart. A ring that once dawned his finger held a bond between the two. It was the lover that he knew as a friend before a lover and after the pain of sacrifice. He felt his body quiver when thinking of how this lover opened his eyes to love and not to lust. However he was no longer the vulnerable one within that relationship. Somehow time didn't fall in the order he wanted and he was blind to the needs and emotions of his lover. His commitment was in vain. And his pale green eyes could still see appirations of his lover next to him at night. He suffered the memoirs of that love that could never be again. It is what he wanted, to relive the satisfaction of knowing he could look into those blue eyes again and just know that love was the main purpose for his silvery tears.

So here we are alone again

Didn't think it'd come to this

And to know it all began

With just a little kiss

I've come too close to happiness

To have it swept away

Don't think I can take the pain

No never fall again

Kinda late in the game and my heart is in

Your hands

Don't you stand there and then tell me

You love me then leave again

Cause I'm falling in love with

You again

The sounds of the piano within the song drove him to another brink of pain. His hands shook with the inability to severe ties with that lover. He dropped the picture to the desk and reached for something to help him. He let his tears stain the picture as he took a black marker and scribbled upon the picture. He sniffled more as he looked at the mangaled picture. He didn't want to question 'Why?' or find out why the feelings within him were burried so deep within the past. He longed for understanding and a reason to move on. He pushed the picture off and closed his eyes tightly, letting more tears slide down his face.

He almost felt cold internally within the room as he let the feverish tears flow. He could feel something moving behind him and then he felt two arms wrapping around his waist. He sniffled softly, trying to hide his tears as the arms held him. He could not see the face of his new protector. He knew that the arms were enough for him right now. "What's wrong Lance?" the voice questioned him. Lance blinked his eyes open as they stung with the covering of more tears.

Hold me

Hold me

Don't ever let me go

Say it just one time

Say you love me

God knows I do

Love you

Again

Lance let a little whimper out as the song ended, packaging his misery and holding in on stand by for one more day. "Why are you crying Lance?" the voice continued to question him. Lance could not respond as he began to mold his body into the arms that held him. "Can you tell me what's wrong Lance?" the voice was tender and soft as fingers bgan to wipe away Lance's tears. "Just hold me." Lance requested softly. He heard a sigh enter his ears. "I can't Lance... I mean as a friend I would but I have things I have to do." was the reply Lance received. "I just... I have a lot on my mind and I just need a friend... that's all Joshua." Lance sniffled out. He snuggled to the arms for a moment. "Bryce wants to see you Lance. I don't think you should keep him waiting." J.C. advised. Lance nodded, hearing a name that meant more confusion to him. Another lover within his tale of anguish and vulnerability.

J.C. kissed the top of Lance's head for a brotherly comfort. "Whatever is on your mind James... just let it go and continue with what you're doing. It can't be that serious." J.C. suggested, trying to be a friend for Lance. Lance could still hear Janet Jackson's poetical lyrics in his mind. 'Cause I'm falling in love with you again.' rolled within Lance's mind.

"Now go see Bryce and let me get back to my boyfriend silly." J.C. smiled, rubbing Lance's head. Lance nodded and pulled out of their small embrace. He sniffled again and cleared his face of any tears as J.C. stood and walked towards the door. "Thanks Josh." Lance said softly, letting J.C.'s ears catch him. "Anytime Lansten, keep your head up." J.C. replied, stepping out of the room.

Justin reclined in his chair in the lobby. He eased his head back and held up his CD player. He pressed down the 'skip' button until the digital display showed the number twenty-one. He closed his eyes before pressing the play button, knowing that this was the perfect song for his mood. The sounds of the mellow music caught his ears and Justin bobbed his head slightly. The synthesized keyboard jingled through his ears.

Love, my love

I regret the day you went away

I was too young

To understand my love

But now I realize my mistakes

Where

Where are you now

Now that I'm ready to

Ready to love you the way you loved me then

Where are you now

Do you still think of me

Or does your heart belong to someone else's

Justin's eyes blinked open after the image of Brian filled his mind. He gazed down to his left hand to admire the ring that left a golden tone surronding his finger. 'It's right... he'll never leave me...' Justin thought as he stared at the ring. Through the battles that justin has faught and through the fits of jealousy that Brian has survived, stood an arch, golden in it's glow. It was an arch of love, never breaking the bridge that held all of the intimate memories that Brian and Justin shared. On top of the arch was that white flame that was ignited by the love and friendship surrounding a white rose. It was no mystery to Justin, he knew deep inside of his heart why he thought of Brian constantly.

Love, oh my love

I wonder sometimes were you just a dream

I sit in the dark

Wondering if our paths, will ever cross again

Oh Lord I need to know

I sit and wonder

Where

Where are you now

Now that I'm ready to

Ready to love you the way you loved me then

Where are you now

Do you still think of me

Or does your heart belong to someone else's

Justin closed his eyes again to take in Janet Jackson's words. Her dreamily, childish voice filled his mind. He let his thoughts drift into curiosity, wondering where his lover could be at this minute. He let his hands rest in his lap as he continued to hear the melody that Justin crowned sa his song of love for Brian.

If I close my eyes

And make a wish

When they open will you be right here with me

Where are you now

Now that I'm ready to

Ready to love you the way you loved me then

Justin's eyes blinked open again and yet still, Brian was not there. Justin sighed, sitting up in his chair as the business people walked by. He gave them no attention. He focused on that world where he and Brian always seemed to meet.

Could it be

That two people

Were meant to be, yes yeah

In my dreams

That's what I feel

Or could it be that I'll never see you again

My love that was so true

Still I'll sit here waiting all alone

By the phone, for you

Now I understand (now I understand)

When you said I love you

I sit and wonder

The illsion formed in Justin's eyes as he walked under the arch. He saw a form standing in the middle of the bridge, staring over the edge. He could see the soft, golden hair shining in the sunset. Justin walked with slow and soft feet. He wore no clothing as protection, as his naked form walked towards his lover. He could see Brian's velvety blue eyes look in his direction. Justin's smile was delicate as he approached Brian. Brian's nude form was golden to Justin's eyes. Brian lifted an arm and reached his hands out to Justin with a feathery grin. Justin took the satiny soft hand and held it tightly as Brian pulled Justin closer to him. Brian's arms wrapped around Justin's waist as Justin's arms wrapped around Brian's neck. They leaned in idly to share a private and personal kiss. Brian's pink lips grazed over Justin's slightly red lips. Commitment was felt within the kiss. The tenderness in the touching of their lips was memorable. The way Brian's hands slide to the small of Justin's back and the way Justin's fingers toyed with Brian's sandy blonde hair created the reflection of lovers on the verge of eternity.

Where

Where are you now

Now that I'm ready to

Ready to love you the way you loved me then

Where are you now

Do you still think of me

Or does your heart belong to someone else's

If I close my eyes

And make a wish

When they open will you be right here with me

Where are you now

Now that I'm ready to

Ready to love you the way you loved me then

Where are you now

Do you still think of me

Or does your heart belong to someone else's

Where are you now...

Justin's eyes flickered open for a final moment. He lost the image that he was dreaming of. He heard the instrumental carry out the song as he stared out into the lobby. He removed his head phones and once more slouched in his chair. He let his headphones rest around his neck as he shut off the CD player. Still there was no Brian.

"What are you listening to?" a voice questioned him. Justin knew that female voice from years of listening to it. He glanced to his side as she sat down next to him, her pale blonde hair resting on her shoulders. She was dressed in a vanilla colored halter top with navy cargo pants. Justin nibbled his lower lip as he began to look into her vibrant blue eyes. "I said what are you listening to Justin?" she asked again with a laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry Christina." Justin broke his daze, still adjusting to her prescence. "It's okay. I guess I suprised you. But uhm... what are you listening to?" Christina replied in her more than bubbly voice. "Oh, I'm listening to Janet Jackson." Justin replied with a small stutter. "Ooh, which album?" Christina questioned quickly. Jstin slipped in and out of his daze, still a little surprised that Christina Aguilera was sitting next to him. It was a face that Justin had to adjust to once again. After years with the Mickey Mouse Club, he had still become shakey towards her sudden appearance. Justin thought maybe it was because of his past with Britney and what Christina meant to their relationship.

"Gee, do you take this long to answer questions when interviewers ask you?" Christina tried to joke to bring Justin's mind back to their conversation. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm listening to her album... 'Janet' the album." Justin finally gave her a narrow reply. "Oh I loved that album. My favorite song was always 'If'. You know the one about all the things she would do to a guy if she was their girlfriend?" Christina responded in a more sensual tone, leaning towards Justin. "Yeah... uhm, I know that one." Justin replied softly, trying to be discrete with her. "Mmm hmmm, it was my favorite. It's something about the way she knew that if she had the guy... she'd make it interesting." Christina purred for Justin, tapping her finger on his shirt. "Janet has a way with words... Janet does." Justin replied while stumbling on his words, becoming even more uncomfortable with her. "But then again, 'Throb' was a sexy song too. The way she said... hmmph, 'cum for me' in the beginning of the song. It was dirty." Christina grinned and then winked at Justin. "Weren't you a bit young to remember what those words mean?" Justin tried to draw the conversation away from innuendoes. "We're all curious when we're young Justin." Christina smiled. "Some more than others." Justin laughed, trying not to show his embarassment.

"So what is a good looking guy like you doing in this lobby? No meetings or photo shoots for you today?" Christina questioned, staying positioned next to him. "No... not today. We're just kind of hanging out." Justin responded politely. "Lucky you. I've had non-stop press to do today. All of the wonders of being Pop's supposed Princess while Britney where's the crown... for now at least." Christina hissed, looking down onto Justin's hands. Justin gave her an unsure look as her head lifted. "But I shouldn't be talking about your girlfriend. Oh, I mean ex-girlfriend." Christina chimed with her youthful charisma. Justin nodded, trying to stay calm around her. "I never did figure out why you two broke up," Christina licked her lips with excitement. "Could it be because of what others said?" Justin let an accusation slip from his lips. "Well they should have kept their noses ot of your relationship. Folks like J.C. and Nikki should have been worried about themselves instead of what was happening in your blossoming relationship," Christina stated. "Who says they were the ones?" Justin became more defensive with his words.

"Why are you always trying to start a fight over something stupid and petty?!" a female's voice interrupted their heated discussion. Their heads quickly turned to the noise of an even more heated argument. Nikki emerged into the main area of the longue, followed by Kevin. "What are you talking about? You act as if a simple question is an interrogation for you now." Kevin barked towards her. "Coming from you, that would be a compliment." Nikki sighed. "I simply want to know if you'll be able to take any of those off days you have from Britney's tour to come see me?" Kevin repeated a previous question with anguish. "Don't try to make it seem like you asked in a nice way. You made it seem like it was pointless for Innosense to tour with anybody bt the Backstreet Boys." Nikki retorted, turning around violently to look at Kevin. "Well Britney is just doing a small venue touring... it's not a blockbuster event. It's not going to give your group that much exposure." Kevin argued with a business mind. Nikki groaned loudly, letting everyone within the lobby hear her. "She's my friend Kevin. I've known her for years and you expect me to care that this isn't sold out stadiums and girls falling out in the crowd?! I do this for the music, not the money!" Nikki snapped at him. "That's fine and all but look at the pluses with touring with us." Kevin tried to persuade her with his arguments. "It's a minus when I have to deal with bullshit from you." Nikki disagreed. "You don't have to take that tone with me." Kevin groaned. "That's funny, I thought that was the only way you would hear me." Nikki snapped, tossing her hair back and then beginning her walk away from him once more.

Christina smirked at the lively argument. "Didn't I tell you. She's always dealing with everyone else and never wants to deal with her own relationships." Christina commented softly to Justin. Justin shook his head, still with disbelief. He eyed as Nikki walked towards the halls leading to Lynn's offices. "All I'm asking is that you make some time off to be with me. I mean Nick and Brian are bringing their significant others and those two already have a tour to do. They shouldn't be on this tour anyway. What's the point? And A.J. is trying to work out time for Amanda, just like Howie is doing for Danay." Kevin brooded, trying to grasp his girlfriend's attention. Nikki turned once more, her eyes filled with anger. "Danay and me will have to work out a schedule before we can even committ to anything. Amanda isn't part of the group and she is free to do whatever the hell she wants to do." Nikki growled at him. Kevin saw the hate in her eyes and carefully backed away. "And how dare you insult your cousin like that. That's Brian's life right there. You know he'd hate to spend anytime away from the one he loves! Just like Nick would and... and that's how I thought you would feel too. You have a new cousin and instead of being happy for Brian, you're acting like an asshole and complaining because I might not be able to get time to see you. Well too bad Kevin Richardson. Why don't you make time to come see me?! Get off my back and think of yourself... if you want to see me that bad." Nikki's words flew out with the anger she seemed to hold in.

"You tell him girl. If he wants to get some that bad, tell him to come to you." Christina cheered quietly from her side seat. Justin twisted his head to look at her with shock. "This isn't about sex Christina." Justin hissed at her. "Of course it is. It always is Justin. Think about it... a guy's on tour for months. He's not getting any. Come on now, he needs his girlfriend there to satisfy is built up sexual desire." Christina released her theory on the situation. She sat back in her chair and crossed her legs to bring out her virgin Mary personality. "You couldn't be more wrong. Sex has nothing to do about this. It has to do with love and making time for a loved one," Justin disagreed strongly. "Tell me Justin, when you and your... uhm, your... husband? Well when you and that guy from the Backstreet Boys see each other after a while apart, don't you have sex the first chance you get?" Christina questioned with a shakey voice. She was shamed in mentioning her former crush's new found lover. "No... it's not the first thing on either of our minds. The first thing on our minds is making sure things are still the same and taking time away just to be with each other. Sex has nothing to do with it." Justin replied airily, trying to make sure no one heard their conversation. "Okay, sounds boring to me." Christina huffed, turning her eyes back to Kevin and Nikki. "What's the name of your boyfriend again, Christina? Oh wait, you don't have one. Damn." Justin smiled with his sarcastic remark. Christina laghed under her breath. "Touché Justin, touché." Christina gleamed.

"I do want to be with you that bad." Kevin sighed, feeling the endless battle tugging onward. Nikki shook her head and leaned against the wall, losing all friendly actions she showed before. "That time we spent in the mountains... for my birthday, it was wonderful. I just don't want to lose out on that time because we're touring." Kevin's voice was timid and soft. He gave her a glassy stare, wanting to conclude the senselss argument that had started with a simple conversation. "If you feel that we will, we will. You have to have confidence that things will work out Kev," Nikki replied without shyness. Kevin nodded, agreeing with her statement. "I know phone calls aren't the greatest way of communcation but it's a way for us to keep in contact. I'll try and free up some time too. I just don't know how much time I'll have." Nikki added to her previous words. Kevin looked down at the ground, feeling the shame of the pressure he put on Nikki. "Right now I have to go see Ms Lynn about a couple of things and then finish up rehearsals with the girls. Call me later and we'll work some things out." Nikki advised, trying to get his diamond blue eyes to look at her. Kevin glanced up, his face frowning. "Okay Peaches. I'll be sure to call you later on." Kevin's deep voice answered her. Nikki smiled lightly and then giggled quietly. "We fight over the dumbest things Pumpkin." she commented, leaving the former conversation in silence.

Justin smiled generously. "You see? Love and not sex." Justin pointed out to Christina. "Oh yeah, I saw it and it was BORING!" Christina bellowed out. She twirled a finger through her curly blonde hair and watched as Kevin passed by them. She slipped him a naive smile before pouting her cherry toned lips to send out a sexual message towards him. Kevin shyly waved to her and then gave Justin an odd stare. Justin shrugged and waved as Kevin continued his walk. "Now he's some hot stuff." Christina stated her observation. "And he's off limits to you... just like the others." Justin prompted her. "No man wears a stamp on him." Christina cooed, looking for new competition. Justin lamented loudly. "I wear a stamp Christina that says I'm married and taken for life." Justin warned her. Christina glanced at the ring and then swiftly rolled her blue eyes. "That didn't stop Bill Clinton and he's the president." Christina showed her ability to have little intellectual value.

"Some of us have a strong lack of morales." Justin remarked, standing from his chair. Christina followed him with a perky matter. "Some of us need to have that same lack." Christina whispered, grazing her fingers through his curls. Justin grasped her arm and pulled it away. "I'm not one of those people." Justin brooded, releasing her hand and then marching away. "You could be with a little assistance." Christina called out to him with a smile. She placed her hands on her hips and watched as he once again exited her view. 'Well Justin at least I know I can keep you prisoner for a little while. But then again, you could be a quickie. Sex is sex.' Christina's thoughts drew up images that she couldn't fight. She smiled deviously, knowing she had the capacity to be a strong threat to the relationships within the groups.

Justin strolled towards the front doors that led outside of the emotional-filled offices. He removed the dangling headphones from his neck and held them tightly as he pressed open the doors. The crisp air of autumn entered his nose as he took a deep breath, trying to escape the adversity of the world that was controlled within that office building. He felt the shifting breeze of autumn run over his body as he clamped his arms around himself. He peered out into the busy area with his starry blue eyes. They were almost a navy blue under the dark shade of the outstretched roof.

He gazed to his right and saw Brian standing nearby with a solomn face. Justin cocked his brow at him with suspicion. Brian held BJ in his arms, cuddling the sleeping dog. "What's wrong?" Justin questioned, his voice carried by the gentle breeze. "We've gotta talk babe." Brian replied with a slumping stare. Justin nibbled his lower lip before nodding. "Hey you two, hurry up and throw your bags in the van. We want to get moving for Miami before it gets too late." Lynn announced to the two distressed lovers. "Okay mom, we'll get the stuff in the van in just a sec." Justin replied briskly. Lynn gave each of them a glance with wonder. "Okay but kind of hurry. Randy and Lisa are waiting in their car and Paul's just about ready to go." Lynn added, eyeing her son and her son-in-law.

Brian walked over to where Justin stood and then ceased when he reached Justin. They stood in the shade with reticence. Justin lifted his hand and brushed the back of his hand over Brian's sculpted cheek. "Is there something wrong?" Justin asked, his voice moving in a soft pattern. Brian did not release an endearing smile. "Something is wrong, right?" Justin asked again, letting his hand slide to Brian's shoulder. Brian bit his lower lip and then sighed. "I wouldn't say something's wrong... there's just something I have to tell you." Brian replied with an unsure voice mixing with his country accent. Justin blinked his eyes with a timid stare. "That doesn't sound good." Justin whispered.

Brian looked down to BJ with a small smile. He scratched her ivory coat of hair with a smile. "Justin... it's about BJ." Brian responded to Justin's earlier comment, glimpsing up to his fretful husband. Justin's bottom lip trembled with slight disquietude. "What... what is wrong with her, Bri?" Justin asked, not seeking relief in Brian's temperate smile. "Remember when we thought that BJ had put on a few pounds because we changed dog food?" Brian questioned, brushing BJ's hair with his hand. Justin nodded, still lost in the conversation. "That's not why she gained the weight. I've been at the vet' for the past hour and well... let's just say that Tyke has been a busy little dog." Brian giggled with his explaination. Justin's mouth dropped slightly. "What?" Justin swiftly asked. "Little BJ here is just about eight weeks pregnant. That's why she's been less active lately. She and Tyke are expecting pups." Brian explained without his laughter, containing himself for that mere moment.

Justin's face soon was flushed pale. "My puppy is having puppies?" Justin queried with disblief. "Justin, BJ is over six months old," Brian stated with a vibrant smile. Justin reached out and took BJ from Brian's arms with concern. "When are the puppies due?" Justin asked after making sure BJ rested comfortably in his arms. "Sometime next week hopefully." Brian replied, rubbing Justin's ear as his way of comfort. Justin shook his head. "Tyke and BJ need separate rooms." Justin sighed out. "Rooms?! They sleep anywhere they want in the house. I'm sure they had plenty of time to do it." Brian laughed. "Don't talk about our dogs having sex." Justin found himself caught up in the laughter. "Well why not? They've probably seen us do it a couple of times and they picked it up. It's not bad or anything. I think it's nice that they found each other and are having puppies now." Brian boasted.

Before long, Justin's face began to fluster with a crimson definition. "You don't think they really saw us making love... do you?" Justin said softly. Brian tried to hold in his laughter, his face contorting into a picture of tittering expressions. "Babe... they roam everywhere. I'm sure they've seen us a couple of times." Brian smiled, brushing his finger over Justin's face. Justin looked down to the pavement with shame. "I wonder what position they saw us in? Maybe they learned from our acrobatics." Brian continued to tease Justin. Justin gave him an angered expression, still concerned for his dog. "Oh stop Just, it's life. I don't care who sees us when we make love Justin... all I see is you when we do it." Brian whispered in a sensuous tone. He edged near Justin with a child-like grin. "That's all I think about too." Justin responded humbly.

Brian tapped the edge of Justin's nose with a simplistic smile. "We should get our things before your parents have a fit." Brian suggested, his lips reaching for Justin's. "Which set?" Justin giggled, giving Brian a chance to kiss him. Brian's lips pressed lightly on Justin's, making the kiss that of a married couple. "They'd both be mad if they knew what I was thinking." Brian spoke inaudibly. "I was thinking the same thing Bri." Justin replied, letting Brian back away. Brian tittered and then kissed the end of Justin's nose. "That's why we're married... we know what the other wants." Brian stated, grabbing Justin's hand. "I thought it was because we loved each other." Justin cooed. "That too." Brian winked towards Justin. He and Justin walked towards Brian's BMW with illustrated looks.

Just Beginning (Chapter 45) Written by JM

It was almost upon the evening hours as a Lexus and a van drove down the long stretch of road. In the van sat Lynn Harliss, Paul Harliss, Jonathan Timberlake, Brian Littrell and Justin Littrell. The van led the way down the strecth, as the Lexus carrying Randall Timberlake, Lisa Timberlake and Steven Timberlake trailed them. The van was not a loud one, bt only the backseat seemed to be a quiet one. Lynn and Paul sat in the front having a lively discussion over current issues within American society. In the silent backseat, Jonathan laid sleep, his head resting in Justin's lap. Justin's head rested on Brian's shoulder, his eyes drifting open once in a while as he faught sleep. Brian had his left arm wrapped around Justin's body. His eyes laid open as his ears heard Lynn and Paul but his mind was on other musings. Tyke and BJ laid in the seat behind them, resting near each other for warmth. He felt Justin's head snuggling to his with appreciation. "Mmm, I love you." he heard a soft whisper escape Justin's sweet lips. Brian smiled lovingly. He kissed the top of Justin's head and then rested his head on Justin's.

Brian swirled his fingers through Justin's cerise golden hair. In his eyes, he saw no imperfection within Justin's spirit. He shivered with complexity, thinking of how none of his friends could truly experience the redefinition of love and understanding like Brian has experienced with Justin. "You... you don't know what how you've changed my life babe. I mean... it's like things are starting over for me. And though we've given each other times of trial... there has been no one... nothing that has been able to change my heart or my feelings for you. You... you're like this star in my life... that never stops glowing. I know we've had the up's and down's and I know we've experienced breakups and times where we felt the other was untrustworthy but it hasn't stopped us. It hasn't made things any less special." Brian's words seemed to float from his lips like a waterfall. His voice was soft and dim, so that he spoke to Justin and Justin only. "I know we're young and maybe we're just truly experiencing love for the first time... but it can't be that. It's just something inside of me that shows me that you're unique... you're sincere... you're my soul mate." Brian whispered with his honesty.

Justin's head lifted from Brian's shoulder, his body suddenly losing it's desire for sleep. Justin's eyes met Brian's eyes in a Heavnly stare. "Being in love with you... it's like being able to watch a white rose bloom during December." Brian said within his enchantment with Justin. Justin breathed softly while looking at Brian. "We've shared our mistakes.. our faults... our worst nightmares... but none of them compare to the intimate and guileless minutes. I don't want to regret or take back the things we've done." Justin gave a response that came from his tender heart. Justin's finger gingerly caressed Brian's cheek. It felt, to them, no one else existed outside of their space. No man-made creation could equate to the words they spoke to each other.

"Are you ever scared that this isn't real? That it's just a dream?" Brian asked, his voice still low and secretive. Justin smiled fondly at his husband. "Yes... but then I realize it's not a dream when I see your face every morning I wake up." Justin replied. Brian giggled lightly, comprehending the absurdity of his question. "What about you? Do you ever get scared?" Justin questioned, his smooth smile fading for a brief second. "All the time." Brian answered with his soft and delicate Southern tone. Justin eased forward, releasing a whisper, "You never have to be afraid... if I'm there." Brian reached for Justin and gave him a tame kiss.

"Hey, are you two whispering for a reason? You don't want to share with all of us your little secrets?" Lynn teased them from the front seat. Brian and Justin separated slightly, smiles dawning their lips. "No, Lynn, we're just talking." Brian replied first. Lynn shifted so that she could turn around slightly in her seat. "Brian, do me a favor, okay?" Lynn's stern face almost made Brian's bright face lose it's glow. Brian nodded shyly, sensing a backlash forming. "Since you are my son-in-law now, try calling me mom. Lynn is just too formal for someone that belongs in my family now." Lynn reqested, releasing a small smile. Jstin laughed, catching the ghostly look on Brian's face. "Uhm, okay mom." Brian replied with glee. "Much better." Lynn chimed, turning around in her seat. "We are here." Paul announced as he pulled into a long driveway.

The sleek van and black Lexus pulled into the lengthy that led to a spacious house within the vast grounds of Pinecrest. Paul halted his vehicle outside of the garage and Randall followed him by parking behind the van. Lynn exited the van, gazing up to the two story house. From the tinted windows and screens to the concrete block and frame construction to the Mediterranean-styled roof. "Nice pick Lynn, did good ol' Paul pick it out while you blew your earnings on lottery tickets?" Randall teased her as he walked by. "Ooh, did Lisa teach you that one or did you get it out of Redneck Monthly?" Lynn cooed for him, arching her eyebrow. Paul pushed his door open and stepped out of the van. "Hmmm, isn't this a record? We haven't even been here thirty seconds before you two are having your fun?" Paul commented, closing the door as he spoke. "She started it!" Randall boasted, pointing directly at Lynn. "I did what?!" Lynn barked towards him. Randall quickly shot her a raspberry, birthing a smile to her growling lips.

"You'll never grow up." Lynn called out to him as he walked the side of the van. "I guess that's why I had kids?" Randall giggled, pulling open the side door of the van. "Come on love birds." Randall requested with a sharper tone. Brian was the first to step out of the van with a weary look. He slipped on a black, knit cap and then looked around the lands. He hugged himself within his baggy sweater and smiled towards Lisa holding Steven. Lisa waved to Brian with an almost sisterly appeal. Justin helped Jonathan out of the silent van and then followed him. Jonathan smiled with sleep still lingering in his blue eyes. He felt Justin ruffle his hair as he stood unmoveable for a minute. He waved to his father as he began to walk by. "Go over by your mother and baby brother until Auntie Lynn tells us where to go." Randall instructed his son, watching the small child stumble towards his maternal mother.

Justin felt slightly out of place as he stood next to his father in utter silence. "Something wrong?" Randall questioned, catching slight stares from Justin. Justin shook his head, letting his eyes droop a little to weaken the stares. "You and Brian aren't having romance problems are you?" Randall asked, letting an arm fall around Justin's shoulders. "No. We're rather happy." Justin responded shyly, closing near his father's warmth. "So what's wrong son?" Randall pondered, looking for a reason in Justin's depressing expression. "Daddy... did mom tell you about... about the talk I had with Jonathan and her?" Justin said with infant curiosity. Randall sighed deeply before taking in a deep beath of autumn's generous air. "Yes, your mother did tell me." Randall replied, nodding his head. Justin nibbled his lower lip, letting his eyes dance in the wind's reflection. "I'm glad you did have a talk with Jonathan.. he probably would have never come to me with such a problem. I'm kind of shakey to actually think my six year old son likes guy like his eighteen year old brother does... but I understand. I'm starting to worry where I might have mdae things 'that way'.. but I'm not pressuring it." Randall responded with a deep explaination. He gave Justin a fatherly look, trying to find a quick answer in Justin's blue eyes. "Daddy, Jonathan isn't necessarily... what's that word the world uses? Gay? Well I don't think that's him fully. He has time to find out... plenty of time but it's not like you messed up if Jonathan falls in love with a guy. Just like you did nothing wrong with me. It's life." Justin replied to his father's response. Randall nodded with agreeance.

"If Jonathan does love Ryan and Ryan loves him... I mean they don't now what that means!" Randall was becoming confused by his middle son's perplex situation. "Yes they do. They have parents... they've seen love before. It's just that they've never experienced it first hand to know what's wrong and right in love." Justin gave an intelligent answer. He patted his father lovingly on the back. "Well I still think he's a bit young to be kissing people." Randall commented, bringing out the laughter in his rigid body. Justin laughed loudly with him. "Hey, kids can kiss each other... but if you catch him and Ryan doing anything in the bathroom, then you can have a fit." Justin snickered. "Is that a hint?!" Randall bellowed out, trying to control his laughter. "Maybe." Justin shrugged, blushing lightly. Randall shook his son with greatfullness, thanking God he had a son that was understanding enough to help him.

"If he does end up... if Jonathan does like guys, would you mind if I sent him to you and Brian with his love life problems? I mean you two are kind of experienced in the field." Randall requested with indifference. Justin nodded happily. "Me and Brian will help our baby bro out as best as can be, daddy. Don't worry." Justin assured him, glancing over to Jonathan. "Just don't teach him anything about the birds and the bees, okay?" Randall ordered, losing his strong and echoing laughter. "You can say the word sex, you know." Justin was gesturing for a different response from his father. "Not around a six year old." Randall warned him. Justin groaned and then agreed.

Randall smiled once again and then glanced over to the gathering family. "Goodness, it's a picture of Timberlake's, Harliss's and Littrell's." Randall joked, watching each of their movements. "Thanks for liking Brian, daddy. He and I appreciate it." Justin whispered to his father, an endearing smile crossing his face. "Well he's the third extention of my family. Hopefully he'll give me my first grandson with you." Randall hinted lightly. "We'll see daddy." Justin giggled, waving to his husband with care.

An hour seemed to advance like the breaths of a joyous child. Justin walked into the kitchen where he saw his mother and Lisa around the stove and sink. He modeled a Calvin Klien blue jean jacket and a red shirt beneath that. His jeans were baggy and he donned ivory, white socks. He strolled over to his mother with a slight smile on his lips. He gave her a small hug from behind, embracing as mother and child would do. Lynn smiled comfortably, brushing a hand over Justin's smooth face. "Justin, we're about to take Jonathan and Steven to a nearby carnival... the Autumn Fair, I think. Anyways, would you and Brian like to come with us? It'll be just about two hours. That's all." Lynn requested. She hoped to bring her sons with her as a way of conversation and a way of love. "Actually... Brian's sleep mom." Justin answered, ceasing his mother's hopes. "He's sleeping? Now?" Lisa asked from the side, washing off a few apples as she spoke. Justin seemed to have no foreign affection for his step mother. "Yeah, he said he didn't get any sleep in the car and so he needed a quick nap. So I figure it's best to let him sleep; otherwise he might not be too happy and conversational later on." Justin stated clearly.

Lisa focsed her eyes on the apples as she ran warm water over each, delicately. Her mind seemed to wander from the conversation that had commensed before her. "Well how about it Lisa? Care to bake a pie with Jonathan, Justin and Brian later on this evening?" Lynn's words seemed to apprehend her attention again. "A pie?" Lisa queried. "Yes, an apple pie. We can do one up nice and sweet with the boys." Lynn agreed buoyantly. Lisa glanced back down to the last apple, pulling it from the sink. "Sounds like fun." Lisa nodded, bringing her mind back from the lost world she slipped into. It seemed her thoughts had begun to take the monopoly in her mind.

"Okay, good. When we get back from the carnival, we can get started on that project." Lynn applauded. Justin stood silent for seconds, admiring his step mother with interest. He could tell something was keeping her attention, but he lacked the knowledge of his father's new marriage to interpet her actions.

"Hey Lisa... did you plan on getting Steven changed? It's kind of cool outside." Randall bellowed, carrying in his one year old son while his six year old offspring followed. Lynn stood an uncomfortable stance against the oven to eye Randall. "Can you not see that your wife is doing something right now? How about you make it a little easier on all of us and changing Steven so we can go without aggravation and further alterations? Okay?" Lynn snapped, her arms crossed and her posture strong. Lisa dropped a wet apple into a bowl and wiped her hands with a nearby towel. She turned to the confrontation as Randall and Lynn battled silently with stares. Lisa dared to cross the battlefield with her words escaping her lips. "It's okay Lynn. I can handle it." Lisa's voice was almost silent as she walked over to er husband and grasped Steven from his arms. The internal conflict burning within Lisa made her affection for her husband seem even dimmer than before. She carried Steven out of the kitchen with confsion in her solid eyes.

"Please don't start you two. Not with Jonathan right here." Justin pleaded with his natural parents. Lynn growled softly and turned back to the oven, her eyes lighting a holocaust within her own soul. Randall grabbed his middle son's hand and then gave Justin a quick glance. Justin sighed deeply, roaming his eyes' view from his mother to his father. Randall shook his head lightly and then escorted Jonathan from the kitchen.

The battle desisted as the Timberlake's and Harliss's left the house after twenty minutes of unadulterated silence. The van exited the driveway, after Randall hesitantly moved his Lexus to the side of the house. The drive away from the house was not an immidiate one but yet quiet.

Justin was perched upon one of the family room's three couches. His betrayed feelings between his parents seemed to vacate his mind after seeing his parents depart without argument. He was not elated with the pleasures of television. He was fortunate to have his cellular phone and business papers nearby. Justin figured if he could not handle the sufferage of viewing television, he knew that he could manage the prospects of business; something that Justin had learn to adjust to. He flipped open his Nextel phone and began to dial the digits of his and Brian's boice mail. Though he knew Brian had checked the messages earlier that day, he wanted to see if there was something to look forward to within his boredom.

'Just when you thought that we'd be at home... this voice mail came on and you get to leave a message. This is Brian and Justin ya'll and guess what? We're not at home right now. Either that or we're uhm... 'busy' right now. So please leave a brief yet detailed message for us to get back to you by. We'll do our best to get back to you ASAP. And if you want to leave a message for Tyke or BJ, try their private line! Peace out ya'll... and stay crunk!'

Justin giggled at the silly message. He forgot that Brian had left that voice mail on for quite awhile. He dialed in the password for the messages and awaited to hear the messages. "You have one new voice message..." the automated voice informed Justin. 'Just one? Damn.' Justin complained to himself.

'Hello boys... I bet you have no idea who this is right? Well try Kimberly Jones. No wait, put a Lil' in front of that Kimberly and you'll get me... Lil' Kim! Hey Justin and Brian. Justin, I need you to call my voice mail or get a hold of me somehow. I'll be in the studio most of today but I need to talk to you about a business deal. Yes, you get paid! So don't fret. I was looking to record a new song that I wrote for my new album... and I need a male's voice for the hook. So I figured maybe you'd be interested. Possibly? A favor for a friend? I need you to get back to me as soon as possible though because I have to wrap up recording in the next three weeks. So we'll have to work something out. Is there anything else? Oh.. duh Kim! The song is called 'Here We Go One More Time'. It's sort of a relationship song. You know about those huh? Uh huh! I know you do! Where's that boy Brian? We all need to get together for lunch or something. Set something up, okay? You know I want to see ya'll again. It's been what? A month? Maybe more? Oh well! Anyways, I need to get going before your machine cuts off on me. Call me boy. Tell Brian and the rest of those babies that Kim said 'hello'. And do like ballers do and keep it real boy. Bye bye sweetie and smooches.'

Justin took a minute to take in all of the information that Lil' Kim left on his voice mail. 'A song with Lil' Kim? Sounds kind of interesting,' Justin tried to coax himself. He reclined on the couch, his immediate plans ostracized. Yet somehow the Simpsons could not entertain Justin on this night.

"Where is everyone?" a groggy voice asked. Justin glanced over his shoulder, seeing Brian approach the couch. "They went out to a carnival." Justin answered him, eyeing Brian as he came closer in a pair of boxer-briefs. "Oh they did?" Brian asked, letting out a small yawn. Justin nodded, turning his head back to the television. Brian shrugged, seeing that Justin was rather comfortable in his position. "You can watch T.V. with me babe." Justin offered, sensing Brian's warmth drawing away. "I'm not in the mood to watch the tube, Just." Brian replied with distance as he walked off. Justin gave a confused expression to the television, wondering what might have caused his husband's sudden distance.

Justin turned his head away from the television when the soft sounds of music filled the room. He recognized the song by the distinct beginning. He watched as Brian walked over to the couch he sat at and sat down next to him. Brian grasped the remote control from the coffee table and flicked the T.V. off. He slipped a hand on Justin's thigh and smiled briefly. "I don't want to watch T.V. babe, but I do want to be with you." Brian whispered, easing his body closer to Justin's. "I don't know if we should do this in the living room of my parent's summer home." Justin replied with hesitation. Brian traced his finger over Justin's curvy face with a light smile. "If you don't want to... we can just listen to the music." Brian assured him. Brian retracted slightly, dropping his eyes a little to hear the soft and sensuous music.

Brian felt Justin's form ease forward, slipping both of his hands onto Brian's colder flesh. "What the hell. You owe me from this morning baby." Justin grinned like a cheshire cat when he spoke. Brian smiled back and let his body recline back onto the couch as Justin laid ontop of him. Justin slipped out of his own jean jacket, letting it carefully fall to the ground like a flock of autumn leafs.

Love

Sensual physical love

Is waiting here for you

Will you unleash my desire?

These are the hands that'll touch you

These are the lips that'll kiss you

These are the arms that'll hold you

So come get this body that loves you

Oh how my heart does miss you

Brian grasped the tail of Justin's shirt, lifting it as if it was a feather, letting it glide over the wind and off of Justin's body. The flame shaded shirt was soon defused when it met with the floor for an inanimate kiss. Their youthful lips met for a timely kiss as Justin's warm chest met with Brian's. Brian arched his back slightly. Their fingers ran like a stream in a crest of a rock. Each finger met with a different curve of the human form. The tender flesh quivered under the feel of the palms. The quiet moans were only murmured by the kiss they shared. Brian's head pressed softly into the couch as Justin's body molded into his. Brian's legs spread, inviting Justin's lower body to slip between them as they kissed.

Love

Stroke me so gently my love

I love it when you mmmmm...

Will you unleash my desire?

These are the hands that'll touch you

These are the lips that'll kiss you

These are the arms that'll hold you

So come get this body that loves you

Oh how my heart does miss you

Justin's hands cradle Brian's back as Brian's arms slid between their pressing bodies. Justin's lips pulled out of the meanigful kiss and lingered over Brian's as he released innocent pants. "I love you..." Brian's voice trembled as he spoke, his hands moving slowly. Justin felt Brian's taunting finger trickle over his navel. Brian's moth reached upward, looking to grasp that flame that was denied to him for mere minues. Justin leaned down with a teasing smile, smoothing his lips against Brian's. Justin's burning skin grazed against Brian's as Brian's fingers unzipped Justin's jeans. With a little movement and careful hands, Justin's jeans scrunched onto the couch before being flicked off by Justin and Brian's feet.

Baby my heart's achin'

My body longs for you

Candlelight and wine are waiting

Create the mood for...

Justin's tongue began a solitaire adventure into Brian's mouth, looking for warmth to caress and touch as if it was a hand. Brian's own hands glided up the flanks of Justin's youthful body. His tongue began to slide over Justin's with a passionate emotion to encourage it's movements.

Love

Sensual physical love

Is waiting here for you

Will you unleash my desire?

These are the hands that'll touch you

These are the lips that'll kiss you

These are the arms that'll hold you

So come get this body that loves you

Oh how my heart does miss you

As I behold you with my eyes

They'll undress you and you'll undress me too

I want to feel you move inside me

Oh how I long for your...

Brian's arms fondled Justin with care. He embraced Jstin with a sensuous care. Justin began to pet Brian's golden locks as they kissed erotic portions of their bodies. Brian felt Justin's hand touching his torso, his hips, the waistband of his boxer-briefs. The desire in Justin's lips sent small shivers through Brian's body. The red flesh kissed Brian's neck, searching for a place to latch onto. Brian's eyes shut tighter, his throat wanting to release a room shattering scream. He let his hands explore Justin's back, caressing the flesh that held the tattoo, the flesh that held Justin's shoulder blades, the flesh that led to Justin's entrance.

Justin lifted his body slightly, letting Brian's fingers wrap onto his boxer's waistband. Justin pulled his hands down and grasped Brian's boxer-briefs. With two fluent movements, both pairs of underwear were commuting down the temples that both cherished. Brian's back arched, to allow Justin to slide off the material as Justin squirm his body around to release himself from the bond that held him. With subtle yet audible gasps, both lovers were freed from their bondage. Their tender skin ran over the other's. Their lips met once more as they began a sexual grind that left their heart's trembling. Their fingertips ran met before reaching for the outter limits of pleasure. Moans began to become more passionate as their lips traced their favorite contours. Their erotic grinding began to becomre less forceful as the couch model to their movements. Justin's lips trailed to Brian's ear, tasting the salty skin as he sucked on the earlobe. Brian's pink lips met with Justin's nape. He nibbled at it before sucking it in, tasting it's unique flavor. No alarm was set as they kissed. Nothing was too much and no grasp or touch was too little. Justin began flirtatious kisses with Brian's cheek as Brian took a more mysterious trail with his mouth.

Justin let his erect penis glide over Brian's, the head of their cock's touching. This movement persuaded Brian to free a loving moan. He bucked his hips upward, causing their bodies to crash. Justin's hands grasped Brian's shoulders and pressed him down into the couch as his lips trailed over Brian's chest. Brian fixed his hands on Justin's waist and held their grinding as Justin kissed and sucked Brian's nipples. Justin's teeth grazed the erect, brown nipples. Brian elicited another loud moan as Justin's teeth bit gently on his nipple. Brian's fingers began to twist in Justin's tight curls, calling for relief in Justin's gentle teasing. Brian's body became tense as he felt himself wanting to orgasm between their bodies.

Justin sat up with patience and stared down at his lover. His large, strong hands ran over Brian's panting chest. "Ma.. make love to... to... to me baby..." Brian gasped out, trying to recover from their intense kissing. Justin nodded, trying to spare his lover the pain of impatience. He lifted his body and allowed Brian to roll onto his stomach underneath him. Brian's breathing was husky as he awaited Justin to make his move.

Justin slipped his knees between Brian's spread legs and eased downward, his knees sinking into the fluffy couch. Brian felt Justin massaging his dripping penis onto his hole. Brian gasped with pleasure, a smile curling his lips. He adjusted his body slightly while letting Justin's sweaty palms caress his back. Justin's lips met with Brian's tattoo, trying to ease his lover while he began his penetration. Brian hissed out and began to suck air in through his teeth. Justin did not halt his sliding; his penis was gliding further in, using the precum as it's only lubricant. Justin's other hand began to run through Brian's hair for comfort. Brian began to raise his body so that he could help Justin move in further, ignoring the burn within his butt muscles.

Brian felt a pair of barely hairy balls resting against the crevice of his ass. He panted hard and let his body mold back into the warm couch. Beads of sweat broke out all over his body as he relaxed, his muscles finally loosening their constriction. He could feel Justin laying his chest against his back, trying to ease his pains. Brian smiled slightly, knowing that Justin would not move until he knew that Brian was perfectly fine. "Go ahead babe..." Brian whispered, resting carefully on the couch.

Justin kissed Brian's left shoulder, sliding out carefully. "I love you." Justin whispered before easing back in. He began fluent motions, his penis sliding out until only the head remained and then sliding back down until his balls rested firmly against Brian's butt. Brian's body went into a parallel state with Justin's, their bodies becoming one as they made love. Words escaped Justin's lips as he made love but Brian could not hear them clearly. His own mind was taken into a reality where his own pleasure existed. Their bodies rocked slowly on the couch, pants breaking the silence from time to time. Drops of sweat escaped their pores as they moved in different directions. The emitted cries were pleasureable to their ears.

Justin continued to grow in his stroke, creating a faster pace. Brian's cock was being humped by the couch, distributing gratification throughout his body. His body glittered with sweat, which made the gliding of Justin's fingers easer. Justin sucked on the back of Brian's ear as he slid closer and closer to true orgasm. Justin's penis throbbed inside of Brian, stroking at an incredible pace. Brian's body thrusted with him, trying to bring his cock to cumming. Neither cared that they were making love on the couch that did not belong to them. Neither cared that their sexual essence would be spilled into the pillowy frabic or cushions. Neither cared that their sweat and aroma would bathe the material in their almost forbidden act. It was the moment they shared inside that mattered.

Justin laid his head on Brian's back, hearing Brian's swift heartbeat. "Oh God... yeah... mmph baby..." Brian groaned out, letting Justin control the rate of their love making. "Ah, heh heh... getting... baby... closer..." Justin panted, his breath drenching Brian's sweat covered body. His penis grew within Brian, making Brian's muscles squeeze tighter around Justin's strong, long penis. Orgasm circled their bodies, lingering for release. Brian gasped onto the pillow before him, never scared to let his husband know when he would begin to ejaculate.

"Shit... oh, oh, uhm Justin... heh heh... oh yes.." Brian's quick breaths alerted Justin oh what was to follow. With a deep, satisfying groan, Brian released his cum onto the couch, his body spasming greatly as he did so. His head pressed into the cocuh with need as he continued to flow onto the cushion below his throbbing dick. Justin bucked harder, his moans get louder as he tilted his head back. "Aaahhh... yeah... mmmm babe... oh yes... uh, uh, uh, UH!" Justin grnted, ejaculating inside of Brian. His white, thick cum burried itself deep within Brian. His body shuddered as he came, causing both of their bodies to rock. Justin's balls released the cum into his shaft and then out of the head of his penis, vollying into his husband's shaking body.

Justin's body began to fall onto Brian's with sweat and exhaustion running throughout it. Brian whimpered underneath him, still salivating the intercourse they shared. Justin kissed Brian's tattoo once more before whispering, "I love you Brian Littrell." Brian lifted his head somewhat to whisper, "I love you too Justin Littrell." Justin let his motuh release his final grunts as he escaped the feeling of Brian's warm hole. Brian sighed with a wearry nature. "We should get cleaned up... and uh, clean this up baby." Brian advised, sensing that they were creating a serious mess. Justin nodded, still not wanting to move from his position. They laid silent for what seemed like an hour before finally moving to cleanse their essence from their bodies and from the room.

You're my secret friend

The one that makes me smile again

Every little thought I have

Is cause you made me glad

You're my little angel

My sweet little angel

My friend

Justin ran his finger over Jonathan's blonde hair as he sung. The little boy's eyes were shut, his body resting in his bed. It was in the late hours. Justin had lulled Jonathan to sleep as asked by his father. Justin used the song that was written for his brother as a way to help him sleep peacefully. Jonathan was snuggled tightly in his room as Justin knelt next to the bed, making sure Jonathan was fully sleep before he stood. He leaned down and kissed the top of his younger brother's head. "Good night lil' bro'." Justin whispered, brushing Jonathan's hair one last time.

Justin escaped the room silently, carefully closing the door behind himself. He crossed down the hall and down the steps to where he could hear bright laughter and enjoyment sounding from the family room. He walked towards the sounds with a smile. He peered in to see his family still playing a rousing game of Monopoly on the floor of the room.

Randall was shaking the dice in his hand, Brian was counting his money, Lynn was distrubuting money to Paul and Lisa sat with a smile as she awaited her husband to move. Randall's dice met with the board, causing a shout to escape Brian's lips as he yelled, "Ah hah! That's a seven!" Randall sneered at him before moving his platinum horse down the chromatic board. The horse stopped upon the spot that read, 'Chance'. Brian frowned, feeling he had lost his oppurtunity against Randall. "Hmmm, what did he get?" Paul asked as he saw Lynn picking up the flashy orange card. She read it carefully, a smile smoothing her lips after awhile. "Oooh! Go to jail Randy! Do not pass 'Go' and do NOT collect two hundered dollars! How do you feel now?!" Lynn shouted, flashing the card for everyone's eyes to observe. Brian and Paul bursted into laughter as Lisa snatched the card from Lynn's slender fingers. "That's right Lisa... your husband is jail bait!" Lynn cooed for her. "Too bad he doesn't have this!" Paul cackled, flashing his 'Get out of jail free' card. He fell back on the floor with laughter.

Randall's face contorted with slight furry. "Well Lynn's been cheating the whole game!" Randall announced with revenge. "I have not!" Lynn retorted. "It's just a game Randy." Lisa tried to assure him. "She has been cheating! I saw her grab two five hundreds when she went past 'Go'. I saw it!" Randall argued. Brian frowned at his poor sportsmanship. "I did not!" Lynn disagreed firmly. "Check her pile!" Randall demanded. Paul stood from his position, shaking his head. "Oh here we go again." Paul sighed, grabbing his Coke and walking for the kitchen. Lisa rolled her eyes and looked over to Brian who watched with amazement. "Don't call me a cheater when yo still haven't paid Brian for landing on Park Place." Lynn said, chastising her ex-husband. Randall gave her a baneful stare. "I bet you have a couple of fifty's too!" Randall threw out another accusation. "Prove it!" Lynn said, flashing her money for him to view. Randall snatched the false money from her hands and began to count it out, orally.

Brian kept silent as he stood from his spot. "Do you want some help Lisa?" Brian offered, catching her stand and gather a few things up. "No, you can go to bed Brian. I'll get these two to clean up the game while I'll do dishes. It's okay." Lisa replied with a smile. Brian could read her anger within her eyes. He did not attempt to argue with her but waved her goodnight. "Night Brian!" Paul called out from the kitchen. "Goodnight Paul!" Brian shouted back, stumbing to where he saw Justin standing.

Brian grasped Justin's hand and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Ready for bed?" Brian asked. Justin was not listening to Brian as he watched his parents argue on. Brian glanced back and caught on to what Justin was staring at. He leaned towards Justin, knowing the fear that Justin had revealed to him months before. "We won't be like that babe." he whispered for faith. Justin nibbled his lower lip, still staring at them. "They were not meant to last." Justin finally exhaled. Brian released Justin's hand, knowing he needed some space. "You can come up to bed when you're ready." he said to Justin. Justin turned to him with admiring eyes. "Let's go to bed babe." Justin replied, grabbing Brian's hand again. Brian nodded happily, escorted his husband from the loud room and up the steps to their bedroom. They ignored the sounds of Lynn and Randall's disagreement and concentrated on their own fond love.

Justin was the first to lay down and absorb the pillow as his comfort zone. The lights were still off and the room was still dim. Justin didn't look for light or support, just silence. He heard Brian rummaging around the room. He glanced in front of him where BJ and Tyke laid on the bed, snuggling to each other. He cherished the sight of puppy love. He closed his eyes gradually and tried not to let the effects of his parents' constant bickering disturb him.

He could hear the soft sounds of rain fill the room, yet no water fell outside. The soft sounds of music began to fill the room, a dazzling and yet mysterious song followed the sounds of the rain. Justin felt the warmth of Brian's body lay down next to him as Janet Jackson's 'Anytime, Anyplace' seeped through the speakers. "Rest easy Just." Brian whispered, kissing the outline of Justin's jaw after he spoke. Brian's arms cuddled Justin's body. Justin smiled timidly. "Spoon." Justin requested softly. Brian giggled into his ear. He pushed their bodies together tightly, holding Justin as Justin molded into their curvy position.

I don't wanna stop just because

People walkin' by are watchin' us

I don't give a damn what they think

I want you now

I don't wanna stop just because

You feel so good inside, my love

I'm not gonna stop no no no

I want you, all I wanna say is

Brian rested his head on Justin's soft shoulder. "Goodnight." he said with his soft, gentle voice. Justin groaned with affection. "Goodnight Bri." he replied, closing his eyes once more. Their bodies rested in a tight position. Their own warmth was all they searched for as they rested after the day's trials.

Justin sat at the breakfast table, reading the side of his cereal box. The information was useless to him, but he found no other conversation to look forward to in the room. His mother was in the family room playing with Steven; his husband was chatting with Lisa at the stove; his step-father was setting up the pool for Jonathan; his father was roaming around the house in search of his watch. There was no pleasuring conversation that Justin could indulge in. He shrugged it off and continued to munch on his Apple Jacks while reading the cereal box.

"Good morning son. Sleep well?" he heard Paul ask as he sat down to the table with a plate of bacon, eggs and sliced oranges. Justin nodded, not giving a verbal response. "That time still?" Paul questioned, cutting up his eggs. Justin shook his head, still not offering a verbal reply. "Uhm, okay." Paul sighed, looking down to his plate. "I'm sorry dad. I didn't want to be rude and all." Justin apologized sincerely. Paul nodded, taking some eggs to his mouth. "You and Brian did sleep well, right?" Paul asked slowly. "Yes, we did. No problems. What about you and mom?" Justin asked, seeking an answer to his question in Paul's expression. "As best as could be." Paul responded with an unsure smile. "Kind of unsure huh? With that whole thing with my daddy?" Justin dug within Paul like he had done for years. "Maybe. I don't know... she always has a lot on her mind." Paul replied, looking back down to his plate. Justin agreed, releasing his step-father from further qestioning.

"So your mom tells me that you and Brian are thinking of naming your child Angel?" Paul kept the conversation lively. "That's what we want to name him... or her." Justin concured. "Why that name?" Paul wondered. Justin took a spoonfull of cereal to his lips. "It has its special meaning dad." Justin responded before eating the cereal. "I see." Paul raised his brow with suspicion. "Yep." Justin laughed, sensing Paul wanted a deeper response. "Well you know raising a child isn't easy. I mean even I wasn't there for your full life, but it was still... and still is hard making sure you have what you need." Paul commented, glancing over to his newspaper. "It'll be a true learning experience... when it happens." Justin agreed. "Oh it'll happen Justin. Have faith that it'll happen. I just know it can be stressful but it has it's benefits." Paul stated. "Such as?" Justin smiled, searching for an example. "Such as the fine man you turned out to be." Paul laughed, knowing Justin was fishing for a compliment. Justin grinned happily. "Even despite my marriage to Brian?" Justin stabbed at open air. "Is there something wrong in your marriage? I personally have no problem with it. As long as my son is happy... it isn't a problem for me. Brian's a nice guy, of course you know that." Paul replied, winking at Justin. Justin snickered, not giving his husband a glance. "Thanks for accepting him dad." Justin chimed. Paul rolled his eyes with a charming smile. "There's nothing to accept. He's a great guy." Paul answered him.

"I hope to be a father just like you." Justin cooed, trying to embarass his step-father further. "Oh yeah, that'll be just perfect!" Paul bellowed with his laughter. Justin nodded, trying to build up Paul's confidence. "Justin, as long as you take the time to understand a child, you can take the time to teach him. It's a rough world and two guys raising a child won't be easy. It can be done, but don't expect it to be given to you on a silver platter." Paul broke their laughter with a serious tone. Justin silenced himself, staring at Paul with worry. "I know my son can do it.. I just want you to know that it won't be easy." Paul stated, resting his hand on Justin's shoulder. Justin nodded. Paul gave him another fatherly smile before returning his eyes to his newspaper and snacking on his bacon.

Brian stepped outside into the air of morning, admiring the view from the backyard. Randall followed him outside with a simple smile. "It's a nice place." Randall commented, glancing over to the pool where Jonathan was beginng to climb out of. "A very nice place." Brian agreed happily, watching the birds flock around the yard. Randall took a seat on the edge of a chair that rested on the porch and let the quiet world embrace him. Brian crossed his arms and peered at Jonathan as he ran around. "Daddy! Daddy watch me now!" Jonathan called out as he ran around the pool. Randall nodded to his son, closing his eyes to take in a deep breath of fall air. Brian watched Jonathan with a warm smile.

Jonathan ran from the deep end of the pool towards the shallow area, trying to give his father a better view of him. As he did so, he crossed a puddle of water near the edge. Brian watched him with a careful eye. Jonathan's right foot met with the puddle and his balance lost it's equilibrium. Jonathan leaned towards his right side and tried to stop himself with his left foot. The unbalanced move caused Jonathan to slip further and his body met with the pool water, his head flying in first as his legs banged against the ledge of the pool. There was no automatic recovery from the water. Brian's mouth fell open with astonishment as the water splashed up, not bringing Jonathan with it's subtle waves.

"JONATHAN!" Brian screamed out, running from his position on the porch towards the pool. Randall's eyes flew open when he heard the sounds of Brian's scream. Randall watched as Brian ran for the pool and his body leaped in, clothing still attached to his body. Randall inspected the area around the pool and saw no sign on his blonde, six year old son. "Holy shit!" Randall gasped out, concluding that Jonathan had fallen into the pool. "LYNN! LISA! PAUL! Get out here now!" Randall barked out, dashing off for the pool. His feet carried him as if he was Hermes, trying to reach the pool as water splashed around like a tidal.

Lisa, Justin and Paul reached the porch, searching for the emergency that was heralded in Randall's voice. They glanced towards the pool and saw Randall's head pop up from the immense waves and splashing. The crystal blue waters did not seem settled or comforting. "Randy!" Lisa squeeled out, leaving the porch for the pool. "Where's Jonathan?" Paul asked, walking off the porch in search of the child. Justin began to watch as Brian emerged from the water with a small child in his small arms. "Brian! Jonathan!" Justin barked out, running for the area that everyone began to crowd around.

Randall leaped from the pool instantly, his body covered in water. He reached his hands out to Brian and grasped Jonathan. Brian helped Jonathan into his father's arms and then emerged from the pool with a strong gasp. Randall pulled Jonathan to the side and sat, desperately searching for life in his son's expressions. Randall cradled Jonathan as the small boy coughed up water, his body shivering and tears cascading from his eyes. Lisa knelt before them, wrapping her arms around Randall and Jonathan. She did not take a minute to quesion what occurences led to the event; she held her family close. Justin reached them and helped Brian to get fully out of the water. Paul knelt next to the embracing family with concern. "Is he okay? Is he okay?!" Paul asked with urgency. Randall and Lisa broke the embrace to look at Jonathan. Jonathan still clutched onto his father's dripping shirt, fearing to look around. "Yeah... he's okay. I think he's just scared." Randall replied, passing his small son to Lisa. Lisa snatched up her son, hugging him tightly, doing her best to keep his body warm as he shivered.

Brian coughed out, trying to get the water to expel from his body. Justin patted his back with care as Lynn carried Steven over to the scene. "Are... are you okay?" Justin asked, finally pulling Brian into a hug. Brian clutched his arms around Justin's body, resting his chin on Justin's shoulder. He sniffled and then let out a gasp. "I'm fine babe. I'm fine." he finally answered his husband. Justin gave a small smile, still heavily concerned for his husband and younger brother. Brian panted heavily, trying to control himself. "You saved him Bri. You saved him." Justin whispered, thankful that Brian had saved his half-brother's life. Brian cared not for his fearless deed, but the safety of the child.

"Is everyone okay?" Lynn spoke up, watching Randall stand. "I think we are." Randall replied, looking down at the hugging couple and then to the mother and her child. Justin and Brian stood gradually, ending their hug. Justin pressed his lips against Brian's slightly blue lips for comfort. He did not whisper any words, but held Brian for warmth and appreciation. Randall stared at them once more. He grabbed Brian's hand and began to shake it, startling Brian. Brian looked at him with grave confusion. He watched as water covered Randall's face, soon exposing the salty tears that began to fall. Justin glanced over to his father in shock. Randall sniffled lowly, showing his son tears that he had not seen in several years.

Randall pulled Brian into a strong, deep hug, losing his inhibitions in front of his family. Brian returned the hug with appreciation. "Thank you for saving my son's life. Thank you for helping him. Thank... thank you Brian." Randall spoke out, letting everyone hear his trembling voice. He ran his hands up and down Brian's back, trying to silence his whimpers. "Thank you Randall." Brian repsonded softly, making sure that Randall was okay. "Thank you for saving both of my son's lives." Randall sniffled out, parting his eyes to see Justin's sincere smile. Randall began to smile back, his tears still streaming. "Thank you for being my son. Thank you son." Randall uttered words that caused gasps to be released. "Thank you son." Randall whispered once more, hugging Brian tightly. Brian released a small, clear tear from his eye with the resonance of the words. He felt his acceptance into the family being granted with Randall's appreciative and sincere words.

TO BE CONTINUED...

*** Forgive me for the lateness. Of course I have been doing many things, but school is a serious hold up on writing. I want to make sure I get all of my ideas written for each part, so I hold off. So please forgive me. Has it been awhile? I guess so! Almost a month? Well I hope you enjoy this part and I hope to get the next few out sooner. I did have a Halloween story planned BUT since I didn't finish this one in time, it got put off. I'll try to get some of the ideas from that one written into the next parts. A BIG thank you goes to Terry!!! Terry remembered my one year anniversary. That's right people, 'Brian & Justin' turned one on October 28th! YEAH! I've been around Nifty too long. LOL. Anyways, thank you to ALL the people that nagged me to write. I got letters for days on that one. Well here it is for you. Those of you who are concerned about 'December', it is NOT the end of the series. I can't tell you ANYTHING outside of that. It'll be surprises galore for the readers. So don't ask, because I won't tell. Check out the webpage for constant info, stories, lyrics, pictures and ALL THAT! LOL. Thanks to NetBoy for maintaning it too. It's there for you obsessed readers. No I'm kidding. I'm thinking, should I change the title of the story? Maybe call it 'Nick & JC' because that's all I get letters about! LOL. It's funny to me actually. I didn't even TRY to put them together and everyone loves them. Ah well it's a good thing. Ooh, I LOVE YOU BABY! Oh, that wasn't for the readers. LOL. It was for my boyfriend but anyway, next subject. Until the NEXT edition, e-mail me and we'll see each other in Nifty Land. ***

** I don't know if I'm allowed to say much towards the subject, but I guess I shall. I am [for the time being] writing on the Nifty Newsletter. Don't ask how long I'll be there because you can never tell. I write reviews for Nifty stories [some of you would know from infamous e-mails]. If you'd like me to review your story, I can but there is no gurantee that the review will be of praise. Of course not everyone likes the stories they read [be honest] and I can't say I will. I'll try however to point out something likeable or praise the series because I only review chapters, not FULL series. Usually I enjoy series but some chapters I don't. If I do however give you a bad review, this does not mean the following: This does not mean I have an ego; this does not mean I think I'm God; this does not mean I think I'm the BEST writer on Nifty; this does not mean I think my series is the best either. I simply state my opinion as other reviewers would do. I've had my support and I've had my 'haters' [infamous mail crew]. I won't comment on it because I don't think I'm allowed to but I just want people to know: I'm just me. You can love me for me or you can hate me for me but if you want to hate me, have a valid reason and not some preconceived notion. If you want to judge a book by it's volume, then you picked up the wrong edition because you have to know me to actually hate me. That is all on the subject. Much love. **