Brian and Justin

Just Beginning: December (Chapter 50) Written by JM

*** How about we skip the introduction this time and get straight to the story? Throw on your fur coats and break out the hot chocolate kiddies... it's going to be a cold month... ***

Bing Crosby would not have liked living in Orlando, Florida. After all, there was no 'White Christmas' there. The feeling of Christmas however was harvested. Most hearts were filled with the old fashion yueltide cheer and others were frozen as Ebenezor Scrooge's was in Dickens 'A Christmas Carol'. The children's spirits were raised as they knew just another week of school and then another week until Christmas arrived in their homes.

That was the beginning. It was two weeks before Christmas in the world. It was indeed the time for holiday jubilation and the time for last minute shoppers to mark their calendars. That was the occurence in the Mall of Florida. It's occupants were of a Tuesday generation. The meaning behind the term was simple, it was Tuesday. One of the most treasured malls in Florida was being 'bought' out in terms as shoppers began to fill their bags and empty their pockets on Christmas presents. All two hundered stores seemed to have a religous praise for the extra money being shifted into their pockets. Clothing stores were experiencing their holiday profits and everything from Abercrombie and Fitch shirts to Pok‚mon cards were stripped from their retail positions. The mild climate did not affect sales either. Though there was a slight chill in the exterior, the interior of the mall was filled with warmth.

The parking lots were no longer parking lots, but bee hive where the cars searched for a position to bask on the nectar of the mall. The escalators were considered rush hour traffic, back-to-back occupants. The elevators were now the carpool lane where people hunched together for a station of rest. The counterfeit Santa Claus that took pictures with the children did not let anyone of the stress of the life in the mall overcome him. Even through the commercial effect created around Christmas, there seemed to be no sign of distaste toward the 'giving season'.

"Oh, bah humbug!" a male's voice seemed to beckon out in the mall. "What kind of joyous attitude is that?" his friend questioned his actions. He crossed his arms, pouted his lips and gave her a sour stare. "It's the kind of attitude that Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr is going to have, Amanda." he replied. His royal red was covered by a backwards, navy blue, New York Yankees baseball cap. He lightly scratched his black goatee, scanning his surroundings. People of all ages seemed to be in the mall during the late afternoon, attracted Joey's vision. He found favor in a few females that were around his age, but most of his attention was drawn to the parents and their blossoming children.

Joey's chestnut brown eyes took a minute away from admiring the shoppers to stare at the woman he titled 'Amanda'. He knew her as Amanda Latona. Joey could remember years before when she was more than a friend to him. Now she was his midnight snowflake, something that he could never picture near him for more than she was. Another physical aspect that prevented the two from ever becoming more than confidaunts was her pregnancy. Amanda was in her eigth month of pregnancy and everyone knew she was due in the middle of January. Her stomach had protruded greatly, showing the obvious. Her hair was docile in appearance, a fair black hue. She kept a low appearance within her make-up and clothing.

Amanda comprehended the danger of others finding out that it was Amanda Latona who was pregnant. Her name was surrounded by many aquaintances and gossip. Not only because of her technical 'leave of absence' from her group, Innosense. Another reason lingered within her subconscious, always. Her main threat was the Backstreet Boys' fans. None of her friends had to question why she would have such a great fear. This fear was brought upon because the father of her child was A.J. McLean, of the Backstreet Boys. If the fans were to find out that it was an unplanned pregnancy, that A.J. and Amanda were just boyfriend and girlfriend and indeed that Amanda was still A.J.'s girlfriend, A.J.'s reputation would fall quicker than Pee Wee Herman's.

Amanda could feel Joey slipping his hand over her stomach, testing to see if he could feel the precious feel of a child kicking in the womb. She glanced down at the hand, watching it's affectionate and tender movement. Her sharp mind drifted away from it's contemplations of secretive musings when perceiving the hand's thoughts. "He's sleeping." Amanda whispered to Joey, sensing his curiosity. Joey placed his hand over his mouth as if too coo her. "Do you know it's a boy?" Joey questioned, sliding his mindful from her stomach. Amanda let a diminutive smile curl her lips. She had battled with this conversation numerous times with her boyfriend. She catuiosuly pinned her hair up while preparing to reply to his question. She sighed with little contentment. "No... Alex really doesn't want either of us to find out until birth. I think.. a little intuition tells me it's a boy. I think deep down inside, Alex thinks the same." Amanda finally answered him with a gliding voice. Joey grinned toward her. "Do you feel like a momma already?" he wanted to tease her in the kindess way. She giggled softly, trying to stay low as they sat near the food court. "I feel like I'm ready to have this baby... I've gained like nine pounds." Amanda complained with no acrimony. She replaced Joey's hands with her own hands, trying to relax in her uncomfortable setting.

Joey took a more diplomatic position, trying to set aside uneasy feelings he had. "I just can't picture it Amanda... you and A.J. as parents? You raising a child as just the age of twenty?" Joey remarked interesting thoughts that had crossed Amanda's minds more times than she chose to count. She lifted one hand and began to brush her bangs back. "I know Joe... I know." Amanda's voice dropped when speaking. Joey slid his chair a little closer to hers. He left nothing to the imagination for her. He was going to be her support during this visit to the mall.

Joey casually placed an arm around her. She let loose a childish giggle. "It feels like we're on a date again." she commented. Her remark brought out the laughter in Joey. "Well I won't tell Britney if you don't." Joey snickered, brushing his hand over her shoulders. Amanda arched her brow with subtly, trying to end their laughter. "You know that the minute any of these little girls notices you, your name will be plastered all over the news for being out with a girl that's not Britney." Amanda stated softly. Joey agreed with her without speaking. "Especially a woman who's in her eight month of pregnancy." Joey added for mild humor. Amanda released a smirk, feeling hampered by her surroundings.

Amanda grasped her cup of iced water and began to sip on it, leaving them in utter silence except for the sounds of the surrounding inhabitants. She lowered her cup, but refused to place it back on the table. "Have you thought about what you're going to get Britney for Christmas?" Amanda asked, bringing another complex subject to their area. Joey adjusted his baggy knitted sweater, trying to avoid the conversation. "Don't tell me you haven't bought her anything yet." Amanda said. Her eyes seemed to be crytalized by shock. "I've gotten her a couple of things, Amanda." Joey responded lowly. He was serious, but not firm with his reply to her. "So then what's up?" Amanda questioned him. Joey let his head droop without resistance. "I just don't know if I've gotten the right thing. This last week we've been..." Joey stopped himself, fearing Amanda's stare. He glanced to the side, as expected, Amanda locked eyes with him. "Are you two having problems?" Amanda asked promptly. Joey sucked his bottom lip in, not releasing a verbal answer for her. "I'm just not sure what to get her." he lied. He had his reasons to hide the truth. Amanda could see small hints in the way his brown eyes lost their gleam.

"Is there a ring in one of those presents?" Amanda cheered, trying to bring some form of life from him. Joey gave her an honest smile. He shook his head toward her, a double meaning in his actions. "I don't think we're quite ready for that step, Amanda." Joey assured her. "You two have been together forever!" Amanda disagreed strongly. Joey pondered the idea. "Since... I'd say January." Joey shrugged. "Brian and Justin got married before their relationship was going for a year." Amanda added. Joey did not let himself dwell on his friend's relationship. His true feelings for his best friend, Justin Littrell, were shown in his uneasy feelings towards his marriage and new life. Amanda sighed quietly, drawing her eyes out into the food court. "Well when you're ready, you're ready." Amanda remarked. She seemed to be commenting on her own life with her sharp words. She blinked her eyes rapidly to stop herself from thinking negative thoughts. Joey stayed quiet with her, thinking about his own situation. The irony between the two was left a mystery to the other.

Amanda's crispy, glass blue eyes watched as three individuals approached her and Joey. Curiosity seemed to be linked to the bags the three were carrying instead of the people carrying them. To a common eye, the individuals ranked from two females on the outside to a taller male in the middle. The woman to the left had tightly pulled back black hair. The hair filled up in a bun in the back of her head, which was hidden to Amanda's view. She adorned a white, sheer shirt with an ivory halter top beneath it. Her neck was decorated with a butterfly choke. She only carried a few shopping bags in her hand, Amanda's vision only accumulating a number of four. Her unshapely white pants flowed with her smooth movements. Amanda watched a glistening smile cover her friend's, Danay, glossy red lips.

Amanda lost her concentration on Danay when she saw Danay nudge her taller friend. Amanda tilted her head to stare at the advancing male. The male seemed to walk with a small limp. His curly, reddish-brown hair was hidden under his glossy white fisherman hat. His rich blue eyes were masked by his pair of blue tinted shades. Amanda could spy several bags in his hands and a backpack riding upon his back. The variety of bags ranged from different ports within the mall. His body was clothed in an ash gray sweater, dark gray cargo pants while his 'JRT' necklace dangled from around his neck and his tennis bracelet wrapped his wrist loosely. Amanda recognized the meaning of the initials. They stood for 'Justin Randall Timberlake'. However Amanda knew Justin was no longer a 'Timberlake'. She watched an innocent smile cross his lips before she gazed down to his platinum silver watch. Amanda reclined in her seat a little more as Justin shot her a small wave.

Amanda brushed a lash from her eye before her attention was drawn to the third figure. Her third friend dawned a white tank top, covered by a designer blue jean jacket. Her pants were baggy and a dark gray color. Her auburn brown hair was decorated with small, white butterfly ornaments. She carried an equal number of bags as Justin in her delicate hands. Amanda's eyes grew pale blue as she watched her friend, Nikki, walk in a smooth stride. Amanda's optics made interaction with Nikki's pale green eyes.

Joey was very discerning in his gestures for Justin, Nikki and Danay to approach the table that he and Amanda sat at. Amanda glanced around the evironment they were in, observing many potentional 'disturbances' within the flow of their day. She feared crowds forming and finding out who the five were. Her attention was distracted when Nikki took a seat next to her at the small round table. She gave Nikki a small smile, still feeling uncomfortable in the public. "How's my lil' niece?" Nikki asked softly, pressing her hand to Amanda's stomach. Amanda gave a heart-filled laugh while Danay and Justin stood around the table. "Your nephew is sleeping." Amanda responded with immense emphasis. Nikki swept up a strand of Amanda's hair and placed it behind her ear, giggling as she did. "You're so sure it's going to be a boy." Nikki mocked her. Amanda nodded, casually grabbing her cup again. "Of course... look at the way she walks." Danay gave a puzzling comment. Nikki glanced up to her with naive eyes. "My mother says that if you waddle like a penguin in like your seventh or eigth month, it's a girl. If you can still walk semi-normal, but you need rest often, it's a boy." Danay released her whimsical thoughts for the group to hear. Justin smirked, trying to hold in a heavy laugh. "Danay... you're just dumb." Amanda note with a derisive grin. Danay shrugged without apparent care.

"Well if she's right, then I know what to look for." Joey teased the notion. Nikki and Danay both haunted him with looks. "You'll 'know what to look for'?" Nikki briskly restated. "As if there's a possibility?" Danay added to the controversal thought. Joey gave each of them quizzical stares. Justin placed his shopping bags onto the ground, not giving much of his attention to the mingling. Joey pondered the idea further, watching Justin with a keen eye. His mind finally gave a resembling thought, catching onto what the girls were trying to figure out. "Oh no! Not Brit." Joey assured them loudly, drawing a few eyes. Amanda snickered lowly while the others lost their small hold on composure. "Don't ever play with us like that then." Danay hissed toward Joey. She scratched her shoulder with a minor glimpse in Justin's direction. She watched him with precise observations. 'He seems a bit troubled.' Danay pondered the musing for seconds. She caught his eyes looking back in her direction, causing her to swiftly fall back into the previous conversation.

Danay tried to find a new topic to follow through on, drawing Justin's conentration back to his own problems. She toyed with her choke as ideas formed in her calculated mind. "Oh yeah, I have to pick up some food for Mrs. Dorough. I promised I'd bring her back something good to eat." Danay stated, causing a small silence to break. Joey lightly rubbed Amanda's shoulder while Nikki glanced up to her neighboring friend. "You are getting rather close to their fam', Danay. Are you and Sweet D... uhm, 'official'?" Nikki asked, turning her body so she could absorb the full discussion. Danay irrationally released a sigh. She twitched her nose before answering. "He hasn't quite said that." Danay offered a repartee. Nikki scrunched her brow with discontent. "Haven't ya'll been dating for like a month or so?" Joey gave a small question from the side. Their equally brown eyes met when his words cleared his lips. "Since... about August, late August. Nothing real serious though. Just going places, here and there." Danay did not fear answering the questions. Nikki nodded, computing the exact time period. "Do you think he'll finally make a committment soon?" Joey was dazzled by the conversation. Amanda urgently nudged him to cease his questioning. She knew how uncomfortable Danay could feel when it came to a man in her life. Joey eyed Amanda as Danay commensed to respond to his inquiry. "Not to jinx myself, but I hope so. I'm not sure though. I'm going to dinner with him tonight." Danay felt mixed emotions within her response. She placed one of her shopping bags on the table and relaxed herself.

Amanda presented a quiet yawn, her eyes drooping slightly. "I can't wait until Alex gets home." Amanda lamented, once again positioning her hands on her stomach. Justin brushed his face over with his hand, looking down at Amanda. "Do you miss him that much?" Nikki cooed, spinning around to look at Amanda. "I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving girl. Of course I miss him." Amanda answered her proudly, rolling her eyes in the process. Nikki pouted her lips and crossed her legs. "I think we all miss our men." Nikki commented, looking over to Justin. She could tell that quietness was not always in his nature. She suspected his loss of Brian added to his silent behavior. "I know I miss Kev'. Him and his stubborn-self." Nikki whispered, toying with her hair. "None of us have seen them since Thanksgiving." Amanda deploreed. She turned her head toward the passing shoppers. Justin nibbled on his lower lip, trying to urge himself to join their discussion.

"I wish Brit' was here." Joey commented, trying to discourage himself from forbearance of his feelings. "How long is she going to be in Kentwood?" Danay inquired. Joey dropped his hands on to the table, looking down at the solid white top. "She said we're going to meet up at the Billboard Awards." Joey replied softly. He adjusted his watch while avoiding eye contact with anyone. Somehow the table as devoid of Christmas cheer.

Justin licked his red lips and looked around the food court. "Do you think Kev' is going to like the fact that you no longer have your highlights and all? Do you think he'll adjust to your natural brown hair?" Justin asked, directiong his question toward Nikki. She looked up at him with a flattering surprise. "He can adjust." Nikki snickered, proudly shaking her brown hair. Justin smirked, feeling silly in the midst of the moment. "If he's that picky, he needs to be slapped." Amanda noted with a grin. "And you're just bold enough to do it too!" Nikki snickered, lovingly pushing Amanda. Amanda nodded, laughing throughout the movement. "Well what about you Justin? Do you think Brian's going to like your hair naturally brown?" Danay became chipper once more. Justin looked around with a smile. "It's brown with red highlights chica." Justin remarked slyly. "Okay smart ass, will Brian like your natural hair color since those highlights are fading?" Amanda chimed, trying to silence him. Justin crossed his arms with a cheeky grin. "I think he can deal with it." Justin shrugged. Nikki and Amanda looked at each other before simultaneously breaking out with laughter. "Forget the hair, what about that thingy on your chin!" Joey pointed out for the girls to admire and recollect. Nikki covered her mouth quickly, trying not to lose control of her laughter. "Oh yeah!" Amanda boasted, pointing toward Justin's chin. Justin blushed lightly. "It's cute." Danay observed. Justin fell into the laughter as everyone commented on his small goatee. The hairs were a brush of brown, but enough to be noticed. The hairs only grew upon the lowest part of Justin's chin. "I wanted to be different." Justin made his final statement concerning the matter, leaving the others in a constant giggle.

Joey tried to cease his laughing while looking to the right of Justin. He could see a few high school girls pointing in their direction. Joey tried to decipher whether or not the young ladies were pointing toward them or another feature of the vast mall. He could see a few whispering to the others, acknowledging who they had spotted. "Ladies and gents, it may be time for an exit." Joey advising in a mild whisper. Justin and Amanda looked over to Joey while Nikki and Danay tried to translate his words. Nikki used her pale green eyes to look toward the group of girls that were slowing making an approach for them. Nikki clutched up her bags, trying to prevent anything being left behind. "Let's go guys." Nikki suggested with a hiss. Amanda peered to her right to see the advancing group. "Shit. If they see me, they'll know." Amanda groaned quietly. She held her head down, trying to hide her face from recognition. Justin made quick work and removed his hat. He passed it over to Amanda so she could slip it on. Amanda snatched up the hat with fear and slid it on. "Peaches... we have to keep them distracted while Joey and Danay get Amanda out to the car." Justin whispered. Nikki pushed her hair behind her ears and nodded. "This is what we get for going to mall without fucking security." Amanda grumbled, trying to stand in her pregnant state. Danay shook her head with irritation and helped Amanda stand to full composure. Joey reached over to Amanda's hand and clasped it. "You'll be all right Boojie." Joey said softly. He knew Amanda was already in distress with carrying a child. He did his best to set her mind at ease. "We'll meet ya'll at the car." Joey spoke to Justin while supporting Amanda. Justin pushed Danay's bags in her direction and nodded. "Get going." Justin seethed.

Nikki walked over to Justin and smiled. "What do we do?" she asked quietly, listening as Joey, Danay and Amanda left. "JOEY!" one of the female's called out, drawing a few eyes. "Distract." Justin said with urgency. He interlocked his arm with hers and began to walk in the proximity of the girls. "It's Justin!" another let out a wail. Justin did not try to hide his appearance as he walked with Nikki. He waved to the girls as they came within a few inches of them. "Justin, can I have your autograph!" the first requested loudly. This brought upon more attention. "Isn't that Kevin's girlfriend?!" a voice asked with even more intensity. Nikki giggled mildly. She nodded and waved to the girl. Soon the crowd was drawing around the two. "Justin, what are you doing here with Nikki?" a female brooded from the side. Justin began to sign the first girl's piece of paper while hearing the question. "We're Christmas shopping." Nikki answered in a bubbly voice. "Is Kevin here?" the second pondered. Nikki peered over to the small blonde. "No, he's not back in Orlando yet." Nikki answered her quickly. Nikki released Justin's arm when she heard a few requests for her autograph. "Why would Kevin date her?" Nikki could hear a few hateful voices begin their talk about her. Nikki withheld her disappoint while some of Innosense's fans begged for autographs. Deep inside, she was hurt that people would hate her for her connection to the eldest Backstreet Boy. "Is Britney here with you Justin?" a naive girl asked from the back. "He's not dating that chick!" another yelled at her. Justin pouted his lips and looked toward the back. "Britney's a very nice girl. She's out of town right now." Justin responded to the girl while giving the louder girl an unfavorable stare.

Nikki grabbed as many pictures and scraps of paper to sign while ignoring shouts of dislike for her. She was becoming accustom to treatment that some girls had been associated when dating a 'boy band' member. "Is Kevin a nice boyfriend?" one of the smaller girls asked Nikki. Nikki smiled down at her, grabbing her Pop Star magazine to autograph. "He's a very, very nice boyfriend." she gleamed. She passed her back the magazine and grabbed another. She brushed her cinnamon colored hair back as the crowd became more dense. "Can you tell him that I hope he and you stay happy together?" the girl requested as Nikki scribbled her name on another magazine. Nikki was amazed by the girl's undying devotion for Kevin and his love life. Nikki glanced back down to her and nodded. "I sure will sweetie." Nikki responded, grateful to her. The little girl smiled up to her and began to fall back into the swelling crowd. "Can you give this to Kev'?" an older girl requested, passing Nikki a stuffed pumpkin. Nikki grasped the stuffed object and slipped it into one of the shopping bags she carried. "I'll give it to him for you." she agreed. Nikki tried to brush away some of the magazines that were headed in her direction as she tried to keep from being trampled. "Tell him it's from Courtney!" the girl shouted out to Nikki. Nikki waved to her and agreed, again silently.

Justin felt a hand tapping his shoulder as he struggled to sign a few more pictures. He tried to ignore the constant tapping as he tried to push out of the crowd. He finally looked back over his shoulder to the woman requesting his attention. "Can I help you ma'am?" he asked briskly, trying to scrath his name onto another magazine picture. The older woman smiled at him, pleased she finally got his attention. "Mr. Timberlake, I have a request of you." the woman spoke up with a clear voice, trying to raise her tone over the screaming girls. Justin sighed softly and turned to her. "Ma'am, me and my friend have to get going soon. Is it something that will take up much time?" Justin strived to remain polite with her. "Mr. Timberlake, it'll take you no more than five minutes. Would you and Miss DeLoach do me and my children the honor of taking one picture? I will gladly pay you both fifty dollars if you'll just take a simple picture with my son and my daughter." the motherly woman pleaded. She forced her two children to the front so that Justin could regard them. Justin felt the crowd tugging on him as security began to control the outbreak occuring. "Please Mr. Timberlake. It's a Christmas present for them." the woman begged, pulling out her money from her pocket.

Nikki scooted over to where Justin stood, trying to prevent any others from requesting signatures. Justin glanced over to Nikki, still contemplating the offer. Nikki arched her eyebrow with suspicion. Justin looked down to the children again, standing at no older than six and ten. Justin adjusted his backpack before looking back to the mother. She seemed to have the money raised for Nikki and Justin. "Ma'am, please put your money away. We'll happily take the picture for ya, for free." Justin finally replied. He gave her a cheesy grin, causing her heart to flutter with appreciation. "Thank you... thank you both." the mother exhaled with contentment.

Justin led Nikki and the children back to where Justin and Nikki originated from while security pushed the crowd back. Justin took a seat in one of the chairs while Nikki crouched to her knees. She placed an arm around the boy as Justin sat the girl in his lap. The mother stood in front of them with her camera raised. She focused the lense while Justin and Nikki made small talk with the children. "Okay, is everybody ready?" she asked, finally satisfied with the position of the picture. Despite the noise of fans waiting to see Nikki and Justin, they seemed to ignore the sounds. "Yep, we're all set." Nikki replied, nudging the little boy for a smile. "Okay, say 'cheese'." the mother requested. She received the unision reply before flashing two pictures of the small and intimate group.

When she finished, she lowered her camera and smiled with 'thank you' written over her lips. The kids were released from their poses and Justin and Nikki stood to their feet. "Amanda better thank us until her baby's born for this one." Nikki murmured as she waved to the crowd. "You mean until her baby graduates... college." Justin said with sarcasm. He too waved to the crowd, tying to gather up his shopping bags. They commenced their smooth promenade from the food court to exiting the mall. They left behind the screams of many teenagers and adolescents.

Teen idols and Innosense didn't leave just the young dispirited. In other parts of Orlando, some were not able to celebrate that the ones they loved would be returning to them. Joshua Chasez, better known as J.C. to his friends, was laying upon his king sized bed with an equal amount of dejection running through his body. His dwelling remained occasionally empty. His friend and roommate, Chris Kirkpatrick, spent as much time available with his girlfriend, Kameelah Williams of the group 702. The hollow and emptiness of the condominium could not add anything to J.C.'s contemplations and feelings.

J.C. listened to Innosense's heart-pounding ballad, 'A Hundered Oceans'. J.C. toyed with his baggy sweatshirt, trying to find something to amuse his body while his mind ran ragged. J.C. could hear the soft sounds of his ex-girlfriend, Nikki DeLoach, telling the story of a lover she knew long ago and one that she still thinks of deeply. J.C. could relate to the Diane Warren penned song with every emotion inside of him. He was unable to get emotional enough to cry, but the feelings still grew strong. His 'missing lover', Nick Carter, would not be returning to Orlando for another week. The thought of being without him left J.C. a little precarious. The mass of thoughts tormenting his intellect had been continuing for weeks. Nothing seemed to end the incessant battle within his heart and his soul.

The one interruption that ended these thoughts was the sound of his telephone. That moment rang promptly again for J.C. as 'A Hundred Oceans' faded and 'Too Good (Not Real)' replaced it. He rolled to the side of his barren bed and grabbed the cordless telephone from it's receiver. J.C. did not bother checking his Caller I.D. for notification of his caller. He wanted nothing more, but to hear another's voice. He prayed silently that it might be Nick dialing him. His soft hand brought the phone to his ear while his body retreated back into the position of laying on his posterior in the bed. "Hello?" J.C. asked with a clear voice, using his remote control to turn down the volume on his stereo system. "Josh?" a deep voice asked, awakening friendly emotions in J.C. "Hey Lance... uhm, what's up?" J.C. asked, turning to his side and propping his head on his hand. He had acquired the ability to omit the past to become acquaintances with Lance once more. "I just wanted to call and check on you. I wanted to make sure you knew that our plane for Vegas leaves Wednesday morning." Lance replied, his voice somewhat hoarse. J.C. let his eye rotate around his frontal view. "Yeah, Just told me yesterday about it." J.C. responded carelessly. He traced a heart, with his index finger, on the mattress. "Is Nick flying with us or with the Boys?" Lance let his curiosity get the best of him. J.C. sighed, letting Lance know his answer in a less verbal way. "No, he's not flying out with either." J.C. added, scribbling his name and Nick's in the imaginary heart.

J.C. could feel the dead silence between him and Lance ranging. "Why?" Lance tried to keep the conversation flowing. J.C. rolled back to his back, listening to another song end. "He's out in California with his family for a couple of days. He wanted to visit them before coming back to Orlando." J.C. explained hesitantly. He saw no need for Lance to have insight into his romantic life. "Aaww, I'm sorry Josh." Lance said in a sincere tone. He cleared his throat, hoping to give J.C. time to accept his kindness. "It's not really a problem." J.C. tried to assure Lance, but he was unable to lie to himself. He rested his head on a pillow and brushed his hair back with his hand. "Do you want to talk about it? I know you haven't seen him in a while J.C." Lance offered his services to a man he once knew as a lover. J.C. was stunned by the proposal. He scratched his head briefly. "If you want... you can come over Lance. It's been awhile since I've sat down to a good dinner with you. We can... uhm, talk then." J.C. decided. He could hear nothing from Lance. "Dinner? Me and you?" Lance finally asked. J.C. rolled to his side and then sat up on the bed. He tried to decipher what his proposal meant to Lance. "That's wouldn't be a date, now is it Mr. Chasez?" Lance became cheeky with him. J.C. shook his head, sensing the sarcastic remark coming. "Not in your life time Lansten." J.C. replied in a smooth voice.

Lance once again cleared his throat, this time with disappointment. "Sure... as long as you cook for me." Lance chimed. J.C.'s mouth twisted with disapproval. "Do you remember the last time I cooked for you?" J.C. managed to laugh as the humorous moment. A grin crossed his thick lips. "Yep. We can reminisce on that when you make me dinner tonight." Lance giggled, a friendlier side of himself meeting the day. J.C. ultimately gave into his kinder nature. "Okay, okay Lance. I'll make dinner and you can't show up late." J.C. insisted. Lance found a smile on his own lips. "It's a deal Josh." Lance confidently said. J.C. glanced down to his watch. "In about two hours." J.C. added. Lance mimiced J.C.'s movements by looking down to his own watch. "Okay, I'll be at your place then." Lance agreed. J.C. was not compunctious in his conclusive judgment. "See ya then James." J.C. let the name slip out of his mouth. Lance left the conversation ending with that.

J.C. hung up his phone, confused. 'Why did I...' he did not let himself dwell further. He shook off the feeling and scooted to his nightstand. A picture of himself and Nick in Europe laid there. He pressed his stiff fingers against the picture, reminiscing in his own mind what occured in Europe. 'Sometimes... yes, I cried by myself. Usually after a show or something.' Nick's words ran throughout J.C.'s mind. He pondered whether or not Nick spent nights crying on the U.S. tour like he did on the first half of the European one. The thought left his mind when he stood to get dressed and begin dinner.

The day seemed to be one full of phone calls as Justin drove his maroon-red, Mercedes M-Class Benz down a back street, headed for Kevin and A.J.'s house. Sitting in the passenger seat next to him was Nikki, her eyes glancing out the tinted windows. The car was filled the sounds of Britney Spears' 'Kiss'. Nikki ocassionally bobbed to the intense beat. Her mind remained dull within the silence between her and Justin. She was stirred by the sound of Justin's car phone ringing. Nikki glanced over to Justin to see if he would answer the phone. His eyes remained on the road while his large right hand trailed from the steering wheel to the phone. He lifted the phone carefully, trying not to swerve the car's movement. He broguth the phone up to his ear and let it rest between his head and his shoulder as he put both hands back upon the wheel. "Yeah, J here." Justin spoke up into the phone. Nikki rested her well manicured fingers in her lap and secretly listened to Justin's conversation. "Hey cutie." the voice grasped Justin's attention, causing an unsteady movement in Justin's driving. "Brian!" Justin shouted with glee, hearing the voice he treasured like a photo from the Titanic. "Hey J, miss me much?" Brian asked after his small laughter. Nikki had a gleam of faith in her eyes as she watched Justin talk with Brian. "I miss you a whole lot babe!" Justin announced, drawing another ring of laughter from Brian. "Aaaww, that's real cute J." Brian remarked, never losing the height of his chipper tone.

Justin rested one hand on the wheel while grasping the phone with his other. He let Nikki adjust the volume of Britney's music as they drove. "I figured you had to be out driving since I called the house three times and you didn't answer." Brian commented, cautiously. "I went shopping." Justin said brightfully. He eased into his seat, becoming comfortable. "I hope you didn't go broke." Brian remarked in a casual tone. Justin laughed lightly. "Just about. Johnny's going to kill me when he sees my credit card bills." Justin groaned, unconsciously drawing his eyes to one side of the road. "I think he'll survive," Brian made light of the circumstances. Justin agreed inaudibly.

Nikki recanted from eavesdropping for a few minutes to think of her own romantic life. She tried to picture herself as far as Brian and Justin were. Her only dreams of wearing a white dress and having others gaze on as she married the man she love seemed to fall closer and closer to the past and not the future. In her mind, she knew that she would have to be with Kevin for awhile before he would admit to his heart that she was 'the one'.

"So how's the leg?" Brian asked his husband, drawing up another discussion. "Well I'm driving, so it has to be good!" Justin bellowed, laughing along with his words. Brian smiled, glad with Justin's cheery spirit. Nikki looked back over to Justin with a gleaming smile. "Are you handling it well?" Brian asked, showing his deep rooted concern for Justin. Justin bit his lower lip and drew his hand back to the steering wheel. He sat back up in his seat and became rigid. "I'm surviving." Justin replied, feeling a lump growing in his throat. Brian could sense Justin's distress with the subject and ended it with no regrets. Nikki also felt the dejection Justin showed. She saw it visually while Brian heard it audibly.

Justin tried to keep his eyes focused on the road while subtly daydreaming of Brian. "So where are you? Almost home?" Justin questioned, feeling overwhelmed with the sound of Brian's voice. "Actually... uhm, no, I'm not. I wish I could say I was. I'm being held over here in New Orleans for a little radio interview. So I'm going to catch the four o'clock plane and hopefully I'll be home by seven." Brian stated, his smooth country accent rolling in abundance. The unsteady flow of words made Justin swerve a little more. "Eyes on the road." Nikki insisted, trying to control Justin's concentration. Justin brought his full attention to his driving, making sure his Mercedes stayed between the white, dotted lines that were assigned to his vehicle. "Justin? Are you okay?" Brian was quick to ask after minutes of silence. "Why... why do you have to stay behind?" Justin complained in a minor voice. Brian wanted to take the words as a passive thought, but he was unable to fight the aggravation in Justin's inflection. "It's just for promotion of the song from Leigh Ann's movie. I won't be here long and I'll just be home two hours later." Brian explained in a calm composure. Sarcastic remarks ran throughout Justin's mind, ways of seeking retribution for Justin's weeks of waiting. "It's not fair." Justin mumbled, exiting a street to pull onto a main one.

Nikki sensed the tension that moved with Justin's child-like voice. "But I'm coming home today... and other than the Billboard's, we'll have nothing but free time for the rest of December." Brian offered some form of compensation. Justin still held his stubborn disposition for the situation. "Do you promise that you'll be home right after that?" Justin requested lowly. Brian translated Justin's words from the small voice Justin spoke with. "Yes, right home." Brian agreed. He awaited to receive a small sound of joy from Justin. Nikki raised one of her elegant hands to direct Justin on which street to turn on next. He caught the signal and made an evassive move to the next street. He tried not to jink the car while turning. "Uh Bri, call me when you get to the airport, okay? I've gotta drop Nikki at home and then I'm headed home." Justin asked of Brian. There was a small sigh heard. Justin preceived this as Brian's unsatisfactory feelings being released. "Hey, who's the best hubby in the world?" Justin tried to bring a little light humor to their dulled conversation. "Me?" Brian played coy with his answer. Justin smirked in a devious form. "No, me for letting you do this to me." Justin's sarcasm was finally exhaled. Nikki found the answer humorous. She let go a small giggle, drawing Justin's curious ears. He smiled at her, not taking away his view point of the road. Nikki flipped her fingers through her hair and gazed out the window. "Well if you're the best hubby, then I must be your Monica." Brian whispered. Justin laughed loudly. "Oh yeah babe... but we'll talk about that later Snowflake." Justin said with jubilee.

Justin pulled into a gated community, following more directions from Nikki. "Okay babe, I'll let you go. Tell Peaches I said 'Hello'." Brian said. He was not going to hold Justin to a discussion that would prevent him from driving properly. "Oh, wait babe." Justin pleaded. Brian did not hesitate in staying on his cellular phone. "What do you want for Christmas?" Justin asked in a charming accent. Brian found the inquiry flattering and yet unnerving. "I want enough money to pay for all of these long distance phone calls." Brian snickered. Justin rolled his eyes and licked his lips. "Try being serious for a minute, dickhead." Justin demanded in a smooth tone. Brian cooed in the background while Nikki looked up with a sudden disgust. She slapped Justin's arm in an innocent way. Justin hissed, trying to keep his voice low. "That's what you get for being Mr. Sarcastic." Brian cheered from the otherside of the phone. "Hush." Justin seethed, feeling annoyed by the two-sided battle. Nikki rubbed his arm for comfort, trying to convince Justin that she was apologizing. "I'm sorry Brian. What do you want for Christmas?" Justin asked once more in a more sympathetic voice. Brian thought over the proposition. "How about some peace and quiet?" Brian asked, giving his truthful and more than serious answer. "That's it?" Justin asked, confused. "Yes, just that." Brian corresponded. Justin shrugged and drove further down the road. "I'll see what I can arrange." Justin giggled. The sentiment was enough for Brian.

Nikki instructed Justin on another street to turn onto as Brian laughed with him. "And what do you want Just?" Brian asked, following a mental list he had set for himself. "Well... uhm, we can't discuss that on the phone right now..." Justin flushed red as he spoke. Nikki's mouth fell open and she quickly looked away from Justin. 'He is such a perv'.' Nikki thought. "How about something sold at Tiffany's?" Brian offered help. "Or maybe Old Navy?" Justin sneered, slowing his speed. Brian was taunted by the ideas. "That'll work too." Brian agreed. Justin grinned, ignoring Nikki's false gagging from the side. "If you think it'll look good on me, buy it." Justin advised. He twitched his nose, clicking on his signal. "I'll remember that," Brian said softly. Justin adored his soft, country accent. It caught his ear each and every time he heard it. "Hey I should go. I want to get this radio thingy over with and get home as soon as possible to my sexy, cute, adorable, and caring husband." Brian said with a hint of undying love. Justin did not let his smile become faint. "Sounds like a plan to me." Justin agreed. Nikki could sense the conversation coming to a smooth and transitional end. "I love you Curly." Brian chimed, taking in each sound of Justin's breath. "Love you too Rocky." Justin replied, pulling into a steep driveway. "Bye, bye." Brian said, sorrowfully. "Aaaww, bye lover." Justin sighed, pulling the phone from his ear.

Brian let his cellular phone drop into his lap. It was a careless gesture, but Brian cared not for his actions. He tried to find some form of pride in keeping secrets. "Was that Justin?" a soft voice asked him. Brian turned to him and smiled. "Yeah... it was him." Brian's reply lacked the proper care Brian showed before for Justin. "He doesn't know, does he?" the voice questioned. It was well noted that this was a male's voice that spoke with Brian. A glimmer shined in Brian's eyes before responding. "No... and he won't know. This is our little secret." Brian grinned. He dropped his cell phone to the side and stood. "You know I don't like lying to Justin, Brian." the voice offered a form of reason. Brian calculated the risks and then soon suspended the thoughts. "I don't either... but this is something that we should keep secret for now. He'll understand, someday." Brian assured his male friend, hushing any further propositions to the situation.

Justin placed the phone on it's base, feeling his fingers shake as he finally released the car phone. Nikki pressed her hands in her lap again, pondering Justin's odd behavior. "What's wrong Just?" she asked. She felt Justin pull the car to a halt. It jerked slightly, showing Justin's unprepared stop. "Nothing." Justin replied, imitating a smile. Nikki saw the discontentment inscriped into his deep blue eyes. She knew the signs. When Justin nibbled on his lower lip and brushed his fingers through his curly brown hair, she sensed something was disturbing him. "Did you know that no one has yet been able to lie to me successfully." Nikki beamed at him. Justin rolled his eyes and smiled. "You suck." he giggled. "Oh no, I'm not that sexually active Justy." Nikki laughed, her cheeks bursting with a scarlet fever. She pulled her hair back while laughing. Justin lifted his arm and brushed back a few strands that she missed. "You are truly innocent." Justin whispered, staring at her as he toyed with her hair. "I try to be." Nikki nodded. She rubbed her nose and then pushed Justin's hand from her hair.

Justin dropped his hand to the dashboard and gazed at her. "You've been kind of quiet about the whole 'Nikki and Kevin' thing lately. Is everything okay Peaches?" Justin asked. His concern for his longtime friend was not faded. Nikki puckered her lips with words, but was unable to release them. She humbly nodded. "I've had my doubts... but Kevin tends to correct them." Nikki explained. Justin gave her a pleasent grin. "He's a good boyfriend?" Justin teased her. She gently pushed him and snickered. "Yeah, Kev's a good boyfriend. And a good friend too." Nikki answered him after her actions. Justin shrugged with a smirk. "You do practice... uhm, safe sex, right Peaches?" Justin became serious once more. Nikki sighed, softly. Her eyes fell into her lap. "I feel odd talking to you about it. I mean you're so young." Nikki remarked honestly. Justin slipped his hand into her lap, grabbing her right hand for assurance. "I'm eighteen and married and I lost my virginity at seventeen. I can see the awkwardness there." Justin agreed. Nikki nodded, holding a small smile. "We do now." Nikki answered his previous question. "'Now'?" Justin inquired further. He tried to interpret her words. "It's not like we have sex every night or anything. It's usually a special occasion for us." Nikki stated. She did not proclaim anything outside of the truth when it came to her relationship with Kevin Richardson. "He's a romantic like that," Justin agreed from small knowledge. A glimmer ran over Nikki's eyes. "You love him, don't you?" Justin asked. He knew that he truly didn't have to ask. He could see it in her eyes, her smile and the way she spoke of him. "You're too smart for your age Just." Nikki warned him. Justin nodded, still awaiting his answer. "Yes, I love him... but I don't know if he truly loves me." Nikki replied, clutching Justin's hand. Justin could relate to her situation in a smaller form.

Justin lazily adjusted his body in his seat while Nikki attempted to become more comfortable. They released each other's hands and smiled. "He's said it out loud, right?" Justin asked, drooping his fingers into his lap. Nikki nodded a reply, her eyes drifting away. "Yeah... often enough. It's just that sometimes you can feel it in the way that a person says it." Nikki explained. Justin understood her fully. He simply smiled at her truly romantic heart. "So you want what you had with Josh, except to like the tenth power." Justin joked, pulling out a laughter from himself. "Actually, me and Josh had a pretty good thing going." Nikki remarked, drawing a fire into her eyes. Justin was intrigued by the subject. "I could never tell. I mean I know you two stayed together for quite a bit, even after the Mickey Mouse Club and all." Justin stated, drawing out a few conclusions of his own. Nikki lingered in the past while Justin spoke. "We had careers to deal with, that's all. I mean we could still be together now, minus the whole 'N Sync and Innosense thing. But still, we'd want to be able to do what we love." Nikki said. She traveled down a painful road as she spoke. "So basically it was mutual." Justin added. Nikki let her finger run over her lip, trying to draw out the words. "On some ends, yes, it was." Nikki agreed. Justin leaned forward a little with speculations. "And on other ends?" Justin asked, softly. Nikki smiled at him and slapped his arm. "Don't you try it Mr. Littrell. I'm not dishing about the past with you." Nikki sneered. She pulled back with a minor amount of discomfort. Justin grumbled and pulled back in his seat.

"What about you boy? You want me to talk about me and Josh... how about you and Brit'? What was going on there?" Nikki questioned with a sizzling grin. Justin felt the heat and pressure fall into his plate. He scratched his neck and looked down at the steering wheel. "Back then... it was uhm, puppy love. I guess that's what you could call it." Justin shrugged. "Yeah right!" Nikki jested. Justin twisted his wedding band around, his face flushing. "Well I talked to Britney after the first few days she joined your tour and she expressed quite the love for you boy. And it had been what? A year or so?" Nikki challenged his reply. "Almost a year and a half." Justin corrected her. "And you two had been broken up for at least two.. or three years? You can't tell me that's puppy love!" Nikki boasted. Justin looked up to her, feeling awkward. He brushed his nose with his finger. His icey blue eyes were speculating the proper response. "Maybe it wasn't for her, but I can't say I was madly in love with her then. We were only tweleve." Justin argued softly. Nikki still felt the doubt in his voice. "You dated for a good year, on and off." Nikki disagreed strongly. Justin shook his head. "It was only a good five to six months that we were a couple. The rest of the time was foolish and adolescent behavior." Justin once again corrected her. Nikki sighed. "You had to have left some effect... as did she." Nikki bluttered out. Justin rolled his eyes and a soft expression formed on his face. "We had our moments, Peaches." Justin agreed in a temperomental way. Nikki tried to interpret his expression without him noticing her stares.

"I guess Christina had her moments too." Nikki slyly said. Justin gripped his fist with inferior anger. "She meant and was nothing. We talked and maybe flirted, but Britney took it entirely too far. Christina didn't steal me from her or anything. I think me and Britney were already too far off for that." Justin declared. He was firm with his voice. He glared into her light green eyes, trying to make sure she understood his rigid argument. "She cried Justin. I don't think Britney was as over you as you were her." Nikki proposed a debate. Justin looked toward his window, trying to avoid the heartless and tormenting disputation. "Britney has Joey now and she's moved on quite well." Justin guaranteed her.

Nikki exhaled softly, searching for a way to fall away from the Mickey Mouse Club motif. She looked up the empty driveway and grinned. "You know... Josh gave me the name Peaches and Kev' still calls me it. It's like he doesn't care about what me and Josh had. I guess he does come with bonuses." Nikki cheered, giggling quietly. Justin glanced over to her, winking. "Brian doesn't get distressed over Britney either. In fact, he looks at her as a little sister." Justin smirked. Nikki smiled back. Her lustrous lips gave Justin a friendly comfort. "And what does Bri-Bri think of me?" Nikki asked, strongly inquisitive. Justin shook his head at her with a laugh. "Honestly... he thinks of you as a future cousin." Justin stopped his laughter to reply. Nikki felt her heart flip when hearing Justin's reply. "Really?" Nikki asked, enthusiastically. "Oh yeah... I do too. Even if Kevin's too stubborn to show it like Brian does, we can tell that Kev loves you greatly. Maybe a year.. or two down the line, I'll be able to sing at your wedding." Justin said, submitting a ray for light in her life. Nikki blushed red, while her mind glew with dreamy thoughts. She did not want to jinx anything that Justin spoke. "Well you never know." she shrugged, putting on a mask of content.

Nikki glanced down at her watch and saw that time was ticking on. "I guess I should get going. I want to go put some of these presents up and clean a little before A.J. and Kevvy get home." Nikki announced, straightening herself in the seat. Justin agreed, shifting his position again. "I had a lot of fun today Just. It's been awhile since just me and you hung out." Nikki commented, leaning over. She placed a small and meaningless kiss on his cheek and then pulled back. Justin let a small portion of blood flood into his cheeks, shyly smiling at her. "It has been awhile Peaches." Justin concurred. "Well that's what you get for being married and being in 'N Sync." Nikki teased him, brushing his arm with her hand. Justin giggled, his eyes following her gestures. "Well at least we have something in common." Justin boasted. "And that is?" Nikki asked through her tittering. Nikki broguth her eyes up. She let them glimmer in the fading sun. "And what's that? We were both in the Mickey Mouse Club?" Nikki chimed. "No, we're both doing a Backstreet Boy." Justin said slyly. Nikki gagged quickly, slapping his arm with repulsion in her eyes. "You're such a pervert!" she jested. She fell back in her seat, grimacing at him. Justin shook his head while laughing wildly.

Nikki clicked open her door and pulled up a few bags from near her feet. "Would you like... some help with those bags?" Justin asked, still laughing as he spoke. Nikki looked up to him with a curled lip. "If you would, please... Mr. Pervert." Nikki said, joking with him. They both stepped out of the Mercedes and began shuffling to bring all of Nikki's bags inside of the house.

Justin's arrival to his home in Orlando did not take him too long. His visit with Nikki DeLoach was short lived after their lengthy conversation in his Mercedes. He did not let the feeling phase me at all. His mind began to dig it's way out of the metaphoral well it fell into when speaking of the past with Nikki. He only prayed that her affection for Kevin would be returned in it's full form. He knew the anger of the girls in Innosense would be awful if not. He feared more the wrath of his close friend J.C. though. He saw the still flickering flame that Nikki and J.C. had in their eyes when they spoke of the other. It was treasurable for them, but puzzling for Justin and his other friends. He wondered if it was possible that he was the only one who saw it. He was the only one to truly experience their relationship throughout a year of the Mickey Mouse Club and a short period afterward. The guys of 'N Sync and the girls of Innosense were oblivious to the relationship for a length of time, due to their serious concentration on their own careers.

Justin began to ignore the musings when he walked down the driveway. He eyed Brian's BMW with a hint of sadness. His breath was short for a few seconds, inevitably controlling small grasps for tears. Justin tried to blame the slight chill in the air for the watering forming in his eyes. 'Grow up Justin... he's been gone two weeks.' Justin tried to convince himself of a reason to keep moving instead of admiring the car that belonged to Brian.

Justin lugged his bags to the door with no glances back to the driveway. He struggled to pull his key from his pocket. Even in his own neighborhood, Justin hide his identity from nearby neighbors. He kept his hat latched on his head and his sunglasses framed on his face. He twitched his nose, wanting to scratch it for a minute. His hands were temporarily occupied with his many shopping bags. Justin was satisfied that he had shopped for the many people that were on his list. His credit limit was rather large, being that he was an international pop star in his own right. The gifts ranged from clothing to jewelry to toys, all that Justin had yet to wrap and tag. That too was a temporary thing for Justin. His mother taught him well in the ways of preparing Christmas presents.

Justin finally fished out his key and grasped it tightly so that it would not fall. He placed a few of the bags onto the deck of his house and jammed the key into the door. 'Damn, why couldn't I just mutter something and the door could just pop open.' Justin complained in his head. He brushed the door open with his shoulder and leaned his body back down to grab the few bags he had laid down. "Tyke! BJ! Puppies! I'm home!" Justin called out as he got the door fully open and walked inside. Justin used his right foot to pushed the door closed again. He dropped his keys on a nearby table and gazed around. "BJ! Lil' Tyke! Come here! I've got something for ya." Justin tried to give an incentive for the appearance of the dogs.

Justin had used Brian's Chihuahua Tyke and his own Japanese Spaniel BJ plus their puppies as his comfort in Brian's absence. Justin could hear the faint sounds of the dogs barking before a few trampling steps headed his way. He watched as Tyke and Giligan passed his path and kept a steady walk around him. Justin giggled as Giligan trampled around, trying to walk as perfect as his father. He failed at each attempt. "Where's your mommy Giligan? And your siblings?" Justin asked, placing one of the bags on the floor. The dogs simply barked at Justin, trying to communicate with him. Justin pulled off his sunglasses and dropped them where his keys laid. "Oh you guys want me to give you something huh? You must have missed me." Justin boasted with a tall grin on his face.

"I missed you and I want something." a human's voice interrupted Justin's train of thoughts. Without warning, the bags fell from Justin's hands and onto the floor. A strike of terror fell into his heart, aching in him. Justin's eyes quickly looked up, trying to perfect his vision in the not-so light room. Just the sound of another voice in his house scared him, but the voice rang to familiar for Justin. The lingering sound caused him to flush white in the skin. He caught the pair of blue eyes that softened his mood. A glowing smile crossed the lips of Justin's surpriser. "So what did you bring me?" he asked, crossing his arm as if he was impatiently waiting for a reply. Justin's bottom lip trembled slightly. "Aaaww come on, be a little more friendly to me." the voice pleaded, a persistent country twang filling the room. Justin's marble blue eyes became lit with a more affectionate blue hue. He stepped forward a little, dancing past Tyke and Giligan. He tried to make sure that his eyes did not deceive him like times before. "Problem?" was Justin's question from afar. Justin felt weak in the knees and then smiled. He shook his head quickly. "No problems at all." Justin replied, stuttering a little.

Arms were opened to Justin and Justin was not afraid to fall into them. His head met with a shoulder and a petite sob broke from his lips. Two arms grabbed him firmly, squeezing him with admiration. "You're supposed to be in Louisiana!" Justin bellowed through his tempermant cry. He felt himself giggling, feeling foolish for failing for another harmless prank. "What can I say? I got home early?" Justin's reply was taken without care. "I just thank God you're home." Justin said in harmless ecstasy. He grinned. "And I'll kill you later on for making me think you'd be home later on Brian." Justin assured him, keeping his head rested on his husband's shoulder. Justin felt him shrug, causing him to laugh. "You'll care boy, you'll care." Justin added.

He felt Brian's soft hand pull the hat off of Justin's head. "Oh and what is this?" Brian asked, pulling his fingers through Justin's frolicking reddish-brown curls. Justin was left with no explaination. Brian did not put too much care into Justin's natural hair color. He snatched the hat off quickly to be able to run his fingres in something he had not felt for two weeks. He took in a breath of Justin's hair, missing the scent of it on his shoulder at night. "Don't tell me you have a problem with my natural color?" Justin giggled, lifting his head a little. "That's not your natural color babe! You've got red and blonde highlights in here." Brian jested automatically. "You're like my own personal Dennis Rodman." Brian snickered. He licked his lips and brushed back Justin's hair. Justin simply rolled his eyes and held Brian tighter. "Oh well." Justin whispered, his smirk still beautifully painted on his face.

Brian's hand drifted to Justin's face to lift his chin. His finger brushed against a few hairs, surprising Brian. Brian's eyes tickled further open, pulling Justin's head up. Brian ignored Justin's semi-formal stare to look at his chin. He saw the small hairs that were habitating Justin's chin. "I see you're just surprising me left and right." Brian commented softly, examining the goatee. Justin gave him a smug smile. He ran his hands over Brian's face, touching the smooth and bare skin. "We're switching roles." Justin giggled. Brian agreed in a mild way. He could see the small patch on the edge of Justin's chin, even in the dim lit room. He inspected the small brown hairs that were there. "Any other surprises?" Brian asked quietly. Justin rolled his eyes, still laughing humbly. "Yeah, I have your name tattooed on my left butt cheek now." Justin responded sarcastically. Brian nudged him, a little brutely. "You're not funny Curly." Brian stated, grabbing Justin's hand and bringing it to their sides. Justin expected Brian to release his hand. His expectations were far from true reality.

Their delicate hands held each other. Brian easily laced their fingers together while embracing Justin. "I have a surprise for you sexy." Brian whispered into Justin's ear. Justin's eyes lit up with fascination. He saw Brian pointing in the direction of the den, signaling for Justin to follow him in that direction. "And what's that?" Justin asked with a coy voice. Brian winked at him and then slide a smile across his lips. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise." Brian said, his candid grin photogenic to Justin's opticals. Justin saw the mischief in Brian's face. He decided there was no reason to fight true instinct. He let go of reservation and reason. "Lead the way Rocky." Justin finally accepted his offer. Brian licked his lips. He squeezed Justin's hand a little firmer.

Brian escorted his husband in the direction of the den, strolling with an easy stride. Justin found himself stumbling along without hesitation. Brian and Justin finally met with each other, walking side by side down the steps toward the den. Brian stood on the right while Justin stayed near the railing on the left. "You know if this is one of those surprises where I need a condom, I don't have any." Justin teased as Brian took him down the full length of the steps. "Quit being a pervert boy." Brian hissed lovingly. They reached the bottom step together and Brian pointed toward the right. Justin's eyes peered past Brian to see what he was gesturing to.

Justin's diamond blue eyes were once again filled with lights, but this time they were the literal kind. Standing tall near one of the windows of the den was a Christmas tree that was decorated with many shades of the holiday rainbow. Tinsel, ornaments, a few candy canes, lights and some icicles clothed the tree in a garment of elegance. An angel sat atop of the tree, symbolizing many things to the couple. Under the tree were gifts that ranged in many sizes. Each and all of the gifts that were wrapped and sitting under the tree were purchased by Brian. Justin's still sat in bags, unwrapped.

Brian stepped behind Justin and wrapped his arms around him. He rested his chin on Justin's right shoulder while his arms snuggled to Justin's waist. "This is why I'm home early. I didn't really have to stay in Louisiana... I was actually in Orlando when I called." Brian said softly. Justin's ears perked with interest. Justin took time to awe at the tree while Brian's body kept him warm. "It's gorgeous Bri." Justin stated, almost gasping at the tree. Brian smiled proudly. "It's our first Christmas tree together." Brian added a comment while staring at the tree. Justin nodded, overwhelmingly pleased with the sight.

Justin could hear the sounds of Tyke and Giligan racing down the steps, barking softly. "Hmmm, father and son." Brian commented softly, seeing the dogs brush past them and prance around the room. Justin sighed with an uneven expression. 'Yeah... father and son.' he thought to himself, lamenting over something he did not have. He drooped his head slightly. Soon he felt Brian's face nuzzling against his neck. His husband's soft hands began to carefully lift his shirt, provoking thoughts in both of their minds. Brian took in a deep breath of Justin's body, wanting to enjoy the smell of his husband once more. Justin grasped one of Brian's arms and halted it from lifting the shirt any further. "Uhm, I have a few presents to wrap and then I want to do a little cleaning. How about we continue what you are trying to do a little later?" Justin suggested, trying to be polite with Brian. Brian did not grumble, though a sour frown crossed his lips. "Sure thing Just. I want to check all my messages and make some calls anyways." Brian agreed to Justin's request.

Brian hesitantly pulled his arms from around Justin and then stood erect. Justin stepped forward and then turned to look into Brian's face. Brian gave him a miniature smile. Justin nibbled his lower lip and then stepped forward. He pressed his lips to Brian's, carefully grabbing Brian's ears. Brian closed his eyes, taking in the kiss. Justin's lips began moving in a slow, but awkward motion. Brian kept his flowing like water. His lips tried to control their fluent movement. Their lips began to catch the same motion, synchronizing each step with words in their kissing. Justin began to give Brian small kisses, pulling back some as he did. Brian did not attempt to hold the kissing any longer than Justin wanted.

Justin then ended the kiss, giving Brian one last lick on the lips. He hummed with release. Brian's eyes flickered open with delight. He could still feeling Justin's hands over his ears. Justin's long fingers caressed the cartilage of Brian's ears. Brian found the gesture humorous. He gave Justin a silly grin, causing Justin to giggle under his breath. "Are you making fun of me, little man?" Justin asked, trying to withhold his laughing. "Of course not!" Brian jested, the grin turning into an even more amusing expression. Justin shook his head, the laughter growing inside of him. Justin pulled his hands from Brian's ears quickly, trying not to look at his foolish grimaces. "Man, I worry about you sometimes." Justin said in a tittering tone. Brian shrugged, still grinning uncontrollably. Brian did not labor for a smile, it remained without request. He leaned down and pulled Giligan up into his arms. "It doesn't matter boy... because I've got your puppy!" Brian hollered, racing toward the steps. Justin's mouth fell open with surprise. He watched as Brian began to climb the steps in slow movements. "Come back here mister!" Justin screamed out, laughing. Justin began a small jog for the steps, trying not to place too much pressure on his left leg. They both laughed loudly while bearing the labor of climbing the steps. Tyke raced after them, caring for his young. The house was soon filled with barking and incessant laughter.

It was the late evening in the quiet house. The Littrell's kept a silent projection within their house. Justin walked down the steps that led to the den. It was another countless walk down the steps, but he did not fuss over it. He walked with light steps, his socks and shoes removed from his feet. His body was barely clothed. He styled a baby blue button-down shirt. It belonged to Brian, but Justin wore it to take in the scent of the man he had been without for weeks. The shirt was fully open, not a button latched to it's holder. Justin's smooth chest was cuddled to a small portion of fur. The fur was the property of Justin's Spaniel, BJ. She was snuggled to her master as he cradled her in his strong arms. She cherished the touch of her master's hand as he brushed her fur. Justin's lower body was only clad in a pair of black Calvin Klein briefs. The briefs were not to snug, make it comfortable for Justin to walk in.

Justin made his entrance into the den, walking across the carpeted floor. He eyed Brian playing with Ivory, Tyke, Giligan and Matt Thompson's puppy, Kerouac. He began to miss the puppy he had already given away to Britney and Joey. He knew though that that puppy would be a great Christmas and 'thank you' gift to the couple. The week they spent pampering and staying with Justin while Brian was gone meant the world to Justin. He had already considered Joey his brother and in some ways his twin because of their deep and sincere connection. Justin was satisfied with the name Britney and Joey had given the pup. He figured Clover was a cute enough name for the young dog.

Justin could see Brian wrestling playfully with Ivory and Giligan while Kerouac and Tyke watched on. Tyke seemed to be more content on trying to sleep while Kerouac watched his brother and sister attenetively. Brian rolled with Ivory near a small fire that kept the room in a warm state. Brian ended their roll on his back, staring up to Justin who stood over him. Brian looked up to Justin, laughing like a hyena would. Justin raised his brow at him with curiosity. He looked at Brian's meshed up hair and panting form. His small, manly body was drapped in a pair of green jogging pants and a white wife beater. Brian ceased laughing and grinned at Justin. "Good evening Curly." he greeted Justin with the same grin. Justin waved to him with a free hand. He could feel Giligan sniffing at his feet, searching for his mother. Justin guided his eyes past Brian to glance at the puppy. He winked at the pup and then crouched down to his knees. Justin placed BJ on the floor and let her frolic to her children. Each sign of affection he saw them give was another sewing needle shifted through Justin's heart. This brought a sigh across his lips.

Brian rolled to his side and stared at Justin with curiosity rounding his eyes. "Something's wrong?" Brian asked. Justin didn't glance over to Brian. Brian could tell his soft voice did not reach Justin. He rolled back in the other direction and then brought his body up so that he sat on his knees. He reached to the side of Tyke and grabbed a small bag. He pulled out a piece of candy and threw it in his mouth. He pulled out another peice while he sucked upon the first. He eyed Justin for a second. Justin stayed in his stiff position, staring at the puppies show affection to their mother. Brian sucked in part of his bottom lip, watching the fire fix an amber glow on Justin's body. He lifted his hand and then threw the piece of candy at Justin. The small candy smacked Justin's ear, making Justin's head jerk in the direction from which the candy came. He frowned at a smirking Brian. "What did you just throw at me?" Justin asked, peering at Brian. Brian stuck his tongue out as the victor. He had won over Justin's attention, but for a brief period. "A Spree." Brian finally leaked out. Justin's eyes branched open with joy. "You have Sprees!" he chimed, smiling widely. Brian nodded and then held up the bag from which he got his first two from. Justin's eyes revelled at the sight. "I guess I should have told you, huh?" Brian toyed with Justin. Justin crossed his arms and gave him a faint smile. "Yeah, you should have Rocky!" Justin bellowed. Brian shrugged and then shook the bag around. "If you play nice... you can have some." Brian said with a devious smile. Justin stuck his tongue at Brian and then grinned.

Brian was unsure of how he got into the position that he did, but he felt joy in it. He laid on his stomach, completely robbed of clothing. His wife beater was laying next to him while Brian was unsure what had happened to his boxers and jogging pants. Brian's head was resting on his folded arms. His body was stretched out across a portion of the floor. Tyke, BJ and their puppies rested comfortably next to him. Resting on Brian's back were a few Sprees that Justin was eating off of him. "So you guys are just presenting at the Billboard's?" Brian asked, feeling Justin's tongue caress another Spree from his back. Justin sucked the Spree into his mouth, beginning to strip the flavor from it's sugary mold. "Yep. That's all, just presenting." Justin replied. Brian nodded, satisfied with Justin's short answer. "You guys aren't doing anything special?" Justin asked, leaning in a little closer to Brian. He nuzzled his nose onto the small on Brian's back and awaited a reply. "We're doing nadda. We don't want to do anything... we've just spent the past couple of months performing on shows and concerts. This month... or what's left of it, is our break period." Brian responded, explaining the reasoning behind the Backstreet Boys' refusal to perform at the Billboard Awards. "I guess I can understand that." Justin stated. He kissed the small of Brian's smooth back and lifted his head again.

Justin brushed a hand over Brian's side. His eyes watched Brian breathed easily. "Is Kevin going to bring Nikki as his date?" Justin asked out of concern for past conversations. Brian found it hard to understand all of Justin's words as he spoke with the piece of candy in his mouth. "Uhm yeah... to my knowledge. Kev hasn't said anything about it." Brian gave a half answer to the question. Justin shook his head. He was out of Brian's view, but his disapproval was undeniable. "I'm sure Kevin will make it a point to bring his girlfriend though. It's already, well pretty much, public." Brian remarked, staying on the subject. Justin's eyes ran up and down Brian's body with small pleasure. "Does it matter?" Brian tried to keep the verbal communcation between himself and his husband alive. Justin still did not speak about the question he proposed.

Brian glanced over his shoulder to see what kept Justin's mind so occupied. He could see Justin staring at him. He smiled innocently and turned his head back in the other direction. "You know you can touch me. There's no rules against that." Brian said. Justin laughed lowly. "That's so true. I mean we are married." Justin said with a spark. The words brought a grimace on Brian's face. He hid his expression from Justin. 'Don't think about that right now Brian.' Brian tried to speak coaxing into his mind. He began to persuade himself into an argument of guilt and satisfaction. As he did so, Justin was removing the candies from Brian's back by hand. 'Just do it, Brian.' he finally gave himself a verdict.

Justin's lips made their return to Brian's back, but this time to kiss on the flesh and not to suck up Sprees. The tip of Justin's tongue stroked and fondled the small of Brian's back. The glow and warmth of the fire helped burn the spirit of desire within Justin. His eighteen year old mind spun with thoughts of what he had not done to his husband in several weeks. The thoughts became detailed and not delusional. His hormones had been deprived of sexual pleasure for weeks. Every piece of him screamed for some form of release.

His large hands guided over Brian's back as his mouth ran down to other regions. Justin's mouth met with Brian's left cheek. The rear portion of Brian's body was temptational for his husband. Justin began a slow kissing on Brian's ass, tasting the flesh with his tongue on occasion. Brian closed his eyes and groaned softly. He had not had this sort of attention from Justin for some time. He was the man walking through a desert who had finally come upon his oasis. Now he had to decide how to use his water. He knew something inside of him craved for attention as it became erect under him. Brian sprawled his arms out and let his head meet with the carpet while Justin's lips met with the crack of his butt. He awed in pleasure. "Ah babe." Brian exhaled out. He felt a groan rumble in his throat when Justin's hands roughly ran over his ass and his balls. 'How long has it been?' Brian thought as he felt himself falling ever so close to the orgasmic stage. He felt like a child during the winter awaiting to hear the radio announcer declare there was no school for the day. He pressed his facial cheek to the ground and his anal cheek to Justin's mouth.

Justin pressed his tongue into the crack, searching for something. His hands were sweating as they glazed Brian's soft bottom. Nothing aroused Justin more than hearing his husband moan out of pleasure. He was rewarded with a grunt from Brian when Justin's tongue met with Brian's entrance. Brian panted heavily while Justin's tongue tried to invade Brian's insides. "Heh, oh God Justin... mmmm..." Brian began to hum as Justin's tongue flickered back and forth over the hole. Justin's hand reached under Brian and grasped his erect penis. He began to stroke it quickly, his sweating hand easily gliding over the pre-cum slicked head. Brian shouted out another groan. Justin smiled consciously. "Oh Justin... I'm gonna.. cum soon babe..." Brian breathed out with a hard groan. Justin's tongue treated Brian's hole like vanilla ice cream. He wanted to make sure to taste every inch of it before he reached the cone.

Brian let his body become relaxed on the floor and soon he was convulsing his hole so that it would open for Justin. Justin grinned mentally and then began to kiss the hole. "Uh babe!" Brian grunted out. Brian pressed his head to the ground. His body broke sweat a while before. He felt his atheltic spirit dwindle under Justin's control. His weeks without Justin's sexual activity left him vulnerable to how wonderful he felt. His mind stayed in the land of ecstasy. Thoughts soon began to interupt his pleasureable thinking with musings on how he had spent the early portion of his day. Betrayel ran into his erotic thinking. 'What am I doing? What if he finds out?' Brian thought out, feeling his penis release more pre-cum. He pressed his palms against the ground while his face crushed in a bright red hue. "Ah, Justin!" Brian let the erotic deliberations triumph in the struggle. The feeling of Justin's tongue flex out his hole brought out the feelings he wanted. "Oh fuck." Brian gasped. His cock was growing larger with Justin's quick masturbation. "Damn Justin... heh heh, baby... oh yes..." Brian was unable to find the proper words to express his appreciation. He refused to stop his husband from rimming him and jacking him off. It was to much pleasure to ignore.

Justin felt Brian's hole convulse quickly and then a warm substance begin to cover his hand. "Oh shit! Yes baby! Ah Justin... heh heh, yeah!" Brian barked out, feeling his body orgasm. There was no replacing the power in Justin as a lover. Brian could still feel Justin licking him as he came. He felt himself pleading with Justin to stop mentally, but utterances did not form on his soft, pink lips. He grimaced and sighed with rapture. His eyes stayed tightly shut while he continued to cum with little spurts. Justin lifted his head from the area he had spent his energy on and then pulled his hand from Brian's softening dick. His clean hand ran over Brian's silky, dirty blonde hair. He tried to relax his husband after his blissful ejaculation. Brian tried again to speak to Justin, failing. He was impressed. Justin had brought back old feelings in Brian that he kept hidden and secretive on tour.

Justin lifted Brian's wife beater and used it to clean his hand of semen. The fire was dying on them, bringing a chill to the room. Justin released the shirt to the floor and saw Tyke and BJ staring at their masters. 'Yep, that's where they got the idea of sex from.' Justin laughed to himself. He waved to the dogs, smiling. They were pleased with Justin's acknowledgement of their prescence. Both parents laid back down with their puppies and attempted to sleep now that the noise of sexual intercourse had ended. Justin followed in their example and pulled up to Brian. He pulled Brian to him. Brian was exhausted and unable to fight Justin's want. He drapped an arm over Justin's body and sighed. His eyes stayed closed so that he would be able to sleep. Justin felt the distance between them, less physical and more mental. He shrugged off the feeling and nuzzled himself to Brian. "Sleep tight." Justin whispered. His eyes peered at Brian and saw that he was already sleeping peacefully. A frown was etched into his expression. His husband had already left him behind.

In other parts of Orlando, couples slept closer but without sexual behavior. In the Fatone's house, Joey Fatone and Britney Spears slept closely, but not erotically. Britney had returned to Orlando early so that she could do a little promotional interview in Miami. Joey was thankful in more ways than one for that.

Joey's soft brown eyes winced open when he felt Britney beginning to shift her position. He tried to capture her in the dark of the room, her smooth body moving like a cat as she slept. Joey kept his eyes open as he looked at the back of her head. Her honey blonde hair covered the pillow. Joey admired her like Narcissus admired himself in the river. He took her with great pride. His muscled arms took her body in and pulled her to him. She groaned softly, trying to remain sleep. The sound brought back a few memories to Joey. His past was hidden from Britney, but not his friends. He knew it had been a while since he had had a serious relationship and Britney was his rose in the winter. She was a rare girl and something that seemed impossible for Joey to have. He did not wish to lose her for any reason that was ignorant and below his expectations.

Joey ignored the contemplations and concentrated on Britney. He took in a breath of her perfumed body as it was covered in one of Joey's Superman shirts and a pair of his boxers. He only slept in his underwear, making Britney feel a little uncomfortable at first. She learned to adjust. Joey's hand rested on Britney's shoulder. He began to give her a little shake to try and wake her. Britney's chestnut brown eyes winked open with shock. "Hmmmm, what is it Joey?" she asked, annoyed. "I want to ask you something Brit." Joey whispered. He laced his fingers through her hair, playing with it in a boyish way. Britney's smaller frame began to turn and finally made the full transition to face him. She kept her head mashed to the pillow it laid on. Her eyes lazily looked at Joey, confused. "What?" she asked in a quiet voice. Joey smiled at her as if she was the sun dipping into the ocean in the evening. Britney viewed the love in his eyes and opened her own a little more. She placed her hand on her pillow and tried to smile at him.

Joey's hand travelled down under the sheets and touch her small body. "I wanted to know if we could... well, if me and you could..." Joey was without words. It was not surprising to him. Britney was the only woman able to bring that feeling upon his body. Britney raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you going to say it?" Britney boldly asked. Joey dropped his eyes as his hands began to caress her body. Britney looked at him with defining shock. "You wanted us to have sex?" she questioned, raising her voice slightly. She was not as much surprised as she was angered. Joey gave a small nod. Britney grasped Joey's hands and yanked them from her body quickly. "No." she declared sternly. Joey had become accustom to the response, but this night was somehow different. "Well why not? We haven't done anything since that night I came and saw you at the concert and that was merely making out!" Joey barked, trying to remain quiet. Britney pushed his hands back. She stared at him with strong dislike. "I'm not a cheap slut that you can just ask to sleep with." she hissed at him. Joey rolled his eyes with disapproval. "And I never approached you in that way." Joey remarked, gladly drawing his arms back from her. Britney pushed covers between them to draw a distance. "You act like you haven't gotten any in years." Britney tried to keep the sharper tongue between the two. Joey yanked his pillow from under his head and pushed it between them. "Whatever Britney. We haven't fucked in ages and you're the one acting like little Miss Virgin America just because I asked to have sex with you this one night." Joey brooded, closing his eyes to show he was ignoring her. Britney snatched the pillow up quickly. She threw it to the side with brute force. "You ask just about every other night!" Britney growled. Joey's eyes ripped open with anger. "Every other night?! Get real!" Joey groaned. He turned his body in the opposite direction and tried to become comfortable without his pillow.

Britney felt disappointed in her boyfriend. "We sleep in the same bed together... we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Excuse me if I thought that we were allowed to have sex once in a while. I guess that's a bit much to ask for." Joey grumbled. Joey made her guilt grow with his final statement. Britney pulled her hair back and then sat up in the bed. She began to say something but silenced herself. She did not feel the strength in her to argue with him on an endless topic. She felt inside that they were both wrong. She was wrong for denying him her and he was wrong for trying to force it upon her. Still the jury remained hung.

Britney sat up fully in the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked at Joey's cold body. He was offering her no sign of love. It was discouraging for Britney. She sniffled and rested her head against the wooden headboard. The cold of the night entered the room without warning for Britney and she could no longer be held by Joey to protect her from nature's natural course. "The reason I don't want to have sex is... it's because of Amanda. I don't want a baby Joey. I'm not ready for that responsibility or that kind of strain on our relationship. I'm young. I'm eighteen and you're twenty-two. There's no need for us to have a kid and this stressful career. I know condoms are supposed to be safe, but there's no one hundred percent guarantee that I won't be pregnant. That our lives won't be ruined by that." Britney began to explain herself. She knew somewhere that Joey was listening to her. She could see it in the way that Joey's body was no longer as stiff as it was before. Her eyes were soon clouded by tears, preventing her from seeing if he would look at her. The salty tears broke from her eyes when she finally blinked. The tears left a trail down her face in several directions. "I don't want you to be frusturated because we can't have sex... but I want you to understand that sex isn't everything in a relationship. It's a special part, but a minor part when you look at the big picture. It's the understanding, the reasoning, the caring... and most importantly the love. Yeah, sex is a form of love, but it can also be a difficult form when the added stress of children gets in the equation." Britney continued her previous words. When she brushed away some of the tears, she could see Joey looking up at her. She sniffled again. "If you could see how much drama Amanda is going through with having a child, you'd understand me. Down the line, when I'm like twenty-five and settled, I'd love to have a child. But Joey, I don't want that now and that's bringing on this fear of having sex." Britney finished, wiping away a few more teardrops.

Joey leaned up and then put an arm around Britney. He kissed the top of her head and frowned. "Those are very valid reasons Brit. I understand. I know Amanda and her moods and feelings pretty well." Joey whispered. He let her rest her head on his chest for a minute. "But that doesn't mean it'll be us. Sex is something that me and you should be able to treasure without the fear of you being pregnant. If we're careful and we take the proper precautions then it'll be more pleasureable than stressful." Joey declared, trying to soften his mood to her emotional state. Britney did not agree with his proclomation. "That doesn't mean I won't get pregnant." Britney said aloud. Joey wanted to protest again, but controlled his challenging emotions. "Listen Britney, if all you fear is being pregnant then it might happen. If you just let trust control what happens and what you do, then you won't have to fear. You won't have to worry. I don't want to jinx us, but if it did happen, I'd be by your side for it." Joey offered a solution. Britney fought the idea in her mind, but her heart no longer had the potency to battle him.

Britney snuggled her body to him and exhaled. "Let's just be careful." Britney advised. Joey agreed silently. He kissed the top of her head again and brought her down to the pillow. "I promise we will be." Joey whispered, pulling the covers over them to start an act that they had yet to learn the rules of. The one rule they learned was that they could only make it through the relationship is if they let go of their own preconceived thoughts and compromised.

Justin climbed another set of stares. It seemed to be becoming a daily ritual for him. This time he wasn't alone as he walked with a bodyguard next to him. He needed the added safety when making this walk. It was a walk up the steps that led to Studio 9 in Parc Studios. Justin's added protection was just a precaution by Jive Records. They didn't want Justin being mobbed or assaulted in any way. Though Justin's fans did not know he would be making this venture to Parc Studios in Orlando. They probably figured he would be resting from the added stress of court cases and battling with every day work. Justin could only pray for that spare moment.

Justin grasped the railing to try and make sure the last few steps didn't leave him restless. "Are you okay Mr. Littrell? Do you need any assistance?" the guard asked Justin briskly. Justin looked back at him with an odd expression. "Uhm no, I can make it... thanks." Justin replied in a solemn tone. The guard nodded, keeping an uncomfortable straight face. Justin felt awkward with the large man, not being accustomed to dealing with new security. He longed for 'N Sync's regular security, but that wish was made impossible with the timing. All of the workers were gearing up for the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears and 'N Sync to make appearances at the Billboard Awards. Justin however just saw it as another trip out of town in which he couldn't be seen with his husband, Brian.

The subject of Brian was now a serious burden on Justin's mind. Justin could remember waking up in the morning alone. Only Giligan and Ivory remained sleep next to Justin. Brian wasn't there when he woke like Justin had wanted. To bring more factual information to Justin's memories, Brian was nowhere within the house or their property when Justin woke. Justin was deeply disturbed when he got a phone call from Brian telling Justin that Brian had to get out early and handle some personal business. Justin did not know how to classify the phrase, 'personal business'. Since the two were married in July, their 'personal business' was a joint venture. It was a complicated area for Justin to understand. He debated on whether or not to let Brian have a separate social ground from the one they shared with their union together. He felt out on the ring with Brian seeking other 'business', which was puzzling to Justin. The added affect of Justin having to leave the house without Brian brought depression to Justin's unsure mind.

Justin reached the final step with a small pout on his lips. He saw two bodyguards standing outside of the door that Justin needed to walk in. Justin awaited his bodyguard to reach him and then the bodyguard became Justin's shadow. Justin scratched the side of his ear and then began his walk for the door. The bodyguards eyed him from behind their black shades. Unlike Justin's broad shaped bodyguard, these bodyguards looked a bit more simplistic with their black shirts that simply said, 'security'. Justin stopped when he reached three feet naer the bodyguards. He awaited to see if they would acknowledge him and his party. "Can we help you?" one spoke up in a very smokey voice. Justin sniffled slightly. The cold air in Orlando was bringing in a chill from all corners. "Yes, I'm Justin.. from 'N Sync. I'm here to meet with Miss Jones." Justin spoke up in a confident voice. He tried to control his cockiness. Justin watched their stiff and almost motionless movements. 'Aaww, come on.. don't play stupid.' Justin thought as he watched one of the guards tilt his sunglasses down to look at Justin. Justin raised his brow. He became weary with waiting. "She's been waiting on you for over an hour." one the guard's commented while the other opened the door. Justin sighed in his mind but remained strictly professional in appearance. "Traffic." Justin stated briefly, stepping forward. "I bet." the second hissed as Justin passed him. Justin gave him a sour glance, but then kindly smiled. "I hope she isn't to mad." Justin remarked in a low voice as he entered the room. Justin's bodyguard ended his task as a shadow and remained outside with the other bodyguards.

Justin barely heard the door close behind him. All he heard was the sounds of a smooth sounding woman rapping with opera music leding the background. Soon Justin heared the female's voice change tones as she began speaking in Russian while rapping. The dramtic climax of the beat brought out a groove in the studio. It was a world being created through the woman's hardcore words. Justin was impressed to a new limit.

Justin's raven blue eyes looked over to the mixing board where a man sat in all black. His head was covered by a dark blue Yankee's cap while it bobbed to the beat. His hand tapped against the elaborate engineering board and his lips lip-synched the words that were coming through the production speakers. The gentleman was unfamiliar to Justin, bringing out a curiosity for Justin.

Justin leaned on a wall and looked over to a table that was set up to the side. Sitting at the table was a young woman, looking to be in her early twenties. She was small in figure, but she was glamorous to the eyes. The woman carefully flipped through a magazine. The title of the magazine was unable to be seen from Justin's view, but the face was conversant. The way the woman attentively took in one Pringle at a time and ate each one with luxury made Justin smile. She was by definition a Queen in her own right and her own mind.

The woman pressed her powdery maincured nails on the table and began to tap them to the rhythm of the song. She was not as into the music as the man sitting at the mixing board was. Her eyes were locked into the article she was reading. Her tongue gently caressed her lips to rid of of any crumbs as she turned the page again. She wore a bubble-gum pink top that hugged at her breasts, trying to make sure she gave enough sex appeal for any onlookers. She wore tight powder-blue capri's, which were hidden beneath the table she sat so rigidly at. Her left arm was adorned in two diamond tennis bracelets and two of her fingers were blessed with diamond rings that could be not represent falseness. Her lips were traced in a icey pink gloss and her eyes were silvery blue. Her hair was fair and orangy-blonde. It was a wig, one of her many trademarks. Justin tried to take in her sight as she stretched like a baby tiger. She was a friend that Justin pleasured in knowing.

"Yo Kim... I think we have a visitor." the man from the board spoke up in a loud voice. Kim was startled by his voice. Her head quickly lifted and she made contact with Justin's eyes. A broad smile slicked over her lips when she recognized the figure before her. "Where have you been!" she shouted to him, glee filling her petite voice. Justin snickered for a second, blushing at her eagerness to see him. "There was traffic." Justin tried his same excuse with her. She wrinkled her face with disappointment. "You mean to tell me that Justin Littrell of the famed 'N Sync could not pull a few strings and get his ass here on time?!" she toyed with him. Justin laughed lightly. "No, do you mean to tell me that Miss Kimberly Jones, the infamous Lil' Kim, could not provide me a helicopter to jet out here?" Justin teased her. Her round face evolved into a laughing one. "I ain't got that much money, boy." Kim said in a favoring voice. Justin rolled his eyes with disbelief.

Lil' Kim, better known as Kim to Justin, had become a close confidaunt for Justin. Even though Justin residided in Orlando and she lived in New Jersey, the two kept a strong correspondence with each other. She was another shoulder that Justin was able to lean on during his hard times and vice versa. Their connection ran deep even though their period of time knowing each other remained short.

"You know I can't keep making trips out here to O-Town for you boy. Delta Airlines love me so much right about now." Kim commented with a tricky smile. She folded her hands on the table and stared at him. "You love me regardless." Justin cheesed. He made a slow walk over to her, making sure he did not rush himself. Kim reclined in her chair in her tiger-like movement. Justin watched her with a sharp eye. "How's the leg? You know I'm still pissed Brian wasn't here when I came to visit." Kim growled in a soft voice. Justin nibbled his lower lip when he heard the speaking of his husband's absence. "Yeah well... I'll be sure to relay that message when I see him." Justin said in a dulling voice. He crossed his arms and took a seat in one of the plush chairs next to Kim.

Kim gave him an undaunted stare. "What's up Billy Bob? Not everything's well over at casa de Littrell?" Kim asked in a smooth voice. She grasped her bottled water and took a small swig of it. Justin let his eyes fall over the table. It was covered in magazines and papers, with a small portion covered with food. Kim searched him for an answer. "Don't ignore me boy." she insisted, becoming bold. It was a natural progression for Kim and one that Justin had adjusted to. "Nah, everything's cool." Justin tried to assure her by looking up with a masqueraded smile. Kim pouted her lips as if she was Madonna and then fluttered her eyes. "All right, now don't have me calling folks to find out what's up with you and that knucklehead. You know I will J." Kim eased off of him. She turned her attention back down to her magazine while another song faded from the speakers.

"Kim, are we going to finish up this record or not? You know Puff is going to want to hear a final cut before we head back to New York." the man from the mixing board beckoned upon her. Kim's eyes lifted with growing annoyance. "Damn Stevie, can I get a break? Puffy acts like I'm some damn dog that'll bark every time he says so. We'll get the song done. All we need is Justin's vocals and that won't take long." Kim grumbled at him. Her eyes once again traced down to the magazine and she began reading her article again. Justin shrugged off her attitude, remaining silent.

Kim's head popped up briskly and she turned her face in the direction of Justin. "Have you eaten?" she asked with a summer's smile. Justin gave her a shocked expression. He shook his head, still not being to verbal. Kim's face lit up with excitement. "I have got to take you downstairs for some food then. The cuisine down there is mouth watering." Kim spoke with a proper inflection. She tossed her hair back and awaited a reply. Justin scratched the tip of his nose and contemplated the suggestion. Kim sucked in her lower lip and licked it with impatience. "No Kim, you're not going downstairs again until Justin lays at least one set of his vocals. We don't have time to waste here." Stevie interrupted their conversation. Kim clasped her hands together and lashed her head in Stevie's direction. "Are you not getting paid to be here and produce shit?" Kim asked in a less than friendly voice. Justin watched the tension build between the two. Kim folded her arms across her chest and waited to see if Stevie would have a sarcastic reply. "Look Kim, I'm here to record this track and then get back to New York to work with about five other artists. Now we could always put this track on hold for another month and have Puffy all up and down both of our backs for it." Stevie argued. He attempted to control his bitter feelings toward her poor work ethics. This was a silencing statement.

Kim rolled her blue eyes and then returned her concentration to Justin. She sucked in air through her teeth, regaining her composure in the process. "I guess you should hear a little of the song and look over your lyrics then." Kim advised, pushing her chair back so that she could stand. Justin smiled at her for confidence. "I guess it'd help if you want me to sing something!" Justin boasted, standing up from his chair. Kim giggled and followed his example. She placed her Gucci purse into her chair, paying attention to detail. She casually adjusted one of her bracelets and then grabbed a few papers from the table. "Why couldn't you be funny Stevie?" Kim requested as she crossed the table. "Because you don't pay me to be funny, you pay me to produce." Stevie stated with a sarcastic tongue. Kim flicked the back of his ear with her middle finger and then strolled on. Justin snickered quietly, trying not to draw any more attention. "Just put the shit on wise ass." Kim murmured, taking a seat at the production board. Stevie mocked her before gently pushing a button on the board.

We said we'd be there for each other when times were tough

But just tellin' you I love you is never enough

I got messages, I got all the pages

But just like Janet, 'What have you done for me lately?'

It's about me, then it's all about you

Too afraid to admit that neither of us know the truth

When it's your turn, you wanna blame me for crimes

But baby here we go just one more time

The sounds of a snippet of the song brought Justin's attention to the lyrics. Each was hand crafted by the small woman that sat preciously behind the production board. Kim closed her hands together with a grin. "Now that's what I like." Kim cheered, eyeing the glass window in front of her. Stevie shook his head with a grin. "It's a good song Kim." Stevie agreed. Justin was impressed by the sounds of the song. It was definetely a song that people could relate and dance to. "It'll be even better when Justin get's behind that window and sings the hook for us." Stevie added, turning around to look at Justin. Justin cocked his eyebrow at him. Kim tilted her head and then turned to Justin. "He's not going to shut his ass until you do something for this song." Kim sighed out. She pulled her nails through a section of her hair and then batted her eyes. Justin could see the exhaustion forming in her appearance.

Justin waltzed over to them and was handed a sheet of music by Stevie. "Just slip the headphones on and go with the feel." Stevie instructed. Justin was used to the rigorous vocal arrangement placed upon him by producers. He was not adjusted to freedom when it came to studio performance. "Are you sure? I don't want to mess anything up." Justin said. Kim giggled at his attention to perfection. "Get in there boy!" Kim insisted loudly. Justin looked at her and then Stevie. "If you mess anything up, we'll just record over your vocals with a new singer." Stevie teased him. Justin smiled. He felt secure in their confidence in him. Justin clinched the papers and then made his way into the vocal booth.

Hours advanced at Parc Studios. It was now past five o'clock in the evening and Justin had laid down all of his vocals for Lil' Kim's song. The final product was satisfying to both parties. Justin sat at a table in the cafeteria with a tray of pasta in front of him. To the side of that was a glass of water. Sitting opposite of him was Lil' Kim, who seemed to be enjoying a plate of roasted chicken and salad with an Iced Tea. Justin and Kim shared several conversations in the hour they spent in the cafeteria. The range went from politics to relationships to albums and videos. "So you're not going to be at the Billboard's?" Justin asked, carrying a fork of pasta to his lips. Kim looked up from her plate with a puzzling frown. "Nope. Me and Puff will be looking over a few more tracks and deciding whether or not they'll be on the album. I'm going to let him hear the unfinished version of this song too and see what he thinks." Kim responded. She took a sip from the straw of her Iced Tea and then slouched in her seat. "It'll be no fun without you." Justin remarked. He watched her again, she was becoming a favorite portrait of his. "Oh please! You guys aren't performing and 'Saw It Coming' has had it's day in the light. Plus you'll be supporting your man and there'll be no need for me to show up." Kim reveled. Justin pouted.

Justin gave off the appearance of a disappointed gentlemen. The look was intriguing to Kim. She traced her finger over the rim of her cup and then grasped up some more of her salad. "But I know old Jennifer will be disappointed Puff won't be there. Poor girl." Kim added, a facade of delight beaming on her face. "Jennifer?" Justin questioned, confused. Kim laughed heartedly. "You mean to tell me you don't know about Puffy and Jennifer? Jennifer Lopez?" Kim asked through her increasing laughter. Justin gave her an odd stare. She seemed to be lost in an uncontrollable laughter. "You mean Jennifer Lopez and Sean 'Puffy' Combs are doing the booty?" Justin asked quickly, interrupting her. Just his statement sent her into a louder round of laughter. Attention was beginning to fall on Justin and Kim, making Justin feel slightly uncomfortable. Justin grasped Kim's hand quickly to try and cease her raving giggling. She looked at him with tears forming over her contacts. The atmosphere around the cafeteria was rather calm. This elicited more attention to Justin and Kim's table. Kim attempted to silence herself, falling into small laughs as she did. "I'm.. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry... oh man, I'm so sorry.. it's just so funny to me..." she snickered out her words. Justin shook his head, smiling innocently.

Kim pulled her hand from Justin's and began to wipe away some of her tears. "Look, you've messed up al mascara." she complained. She still had laughter in her voice. "It's your own fault Lil' Giggly." Justin retorted, taking a gulp of water afterward. Kim flicked him off and then grabbed her purse. "Now I've gotta fix myself up." she said in a sweet voice. Justin rolled his eyes briskly. "One day your eyes are going to get stuck like that, you brat." Kim said out of the corner of her mouth. Justin rolled his eyes again, seeking revenge in a harmless fashion.

The sound of a cell phone drew Justin's attention away from Kim prepping her face. Kim glanced around when she heard the phone. Justin searched the table for his cellular phone, praying it was his. The phone was not located on the table. Justin heard it ring again. He began to search in his cell phone's regular resting spot, his pocket. He drew out his wallet and then the cellular phone. "Excuse me." Justin said as she turned to the side and answered the phone. Kim held up her mirror to pretend she was still fixing her makeup while her ears listened sharply to Justin's conversation. "So you're not coming here to get me?" Justin asked. Sorrow overtook his voice. "Well why not? What do you have to do?" Justin asked, slightly angered. Kim was disappointed. She could see that something was not right in Justin's life and she felt that it may have been his marriage. "That doesn't make sense. I'm... why can't you just try and make it out here?" Justin was beginning to plead. This sound was displeasing to Kim. Justin furrowed his brow. His fight for what he wanted was lost to the fight to keep him unhappy.

"Yeah, well that's fine. Do what you have to do. Yeah... I'll see you at home then. Bye." Justin was becoming quicker and quicker with his words. Justin abruptly pulled his cell phone from his ear and jammed a button to end his call. He violently dropped the phone on the table, his face becoming a new shade of red with anger. His hands shook, showing his signs of animosity.

Kim lowered her mirror and glanced at him. She knew not to make eye contact at first. She let Justin bare his own burden. She was unsure on where to start the discussion. Justin took his lower lip into his mouth, trying to control himself. "So I'm guessing you're not to happy right now, eh J?" Kim remained polite to help her friend come out of his shell. Justin closed his eyes and exhaled softly. Kim saw aggravation covering his body. She turned herself slightly and crossed her legs. "Not everything goes the way we want Justin. Sometimes we get lucky and sometimes life just fucks with us. Most times, it's not what you want. If you're smart, like you are, you can flip things around and look from the otherside of the mirror." Kim spoke words of wisdom. She prayed Justin received them. Her small hands grabbed her glass of Iced Tea so that she could refresh her throat.

Justin reopened his eyes and pushed his glass to the side. He couldn't find the words to discuss with Kim how he felt. He had argued with Brian. He was still unsure of his reasons and he knew he had lost the argument. It was inevitable. Brian was going to be 'attending to personal business' as he put it. Once again that topic fled into Justin's mind. "It's okay Kim. I mean... it's just another day in the life of a celebrity." Justin assured her. His words were followed by a drawn out sigh. Kim puckered her lips, posing dynamically. She was disappointed in Justin's choice of lying through his issues. "It'll all work out to God's plan in the end." Kim whispered, grabbing Justin's hand. Justin's eyes glimpsed down to their hands. He could see a shining tennis bracelet locked on his arm. He took it, for himself, to be a sign of faith. However, he stood alone in that belief.

Las Vegas, the City of Sin. It was also the home MGM Grand where the 10th Annual Billboard Awards was being held. The grand event was dazzling to the eyes of spectators as artists and celebrities arrived on the red carpet outside of the hotel. Reporters took to the carpet like lions to dead zebra. Each faught to get a bigger slie of the meat, which happened to be the musical artists. Controversy filled the red carpet as reporters took their shot at finding out the latest gossip. The reporters were the Joan Rivres when it came to personal lives. They highlighted the 'best dressed' lives and the 'fashionably challenged' ones. The fans were the reporters greatest adversaries. They represented the Rosie O'Donnell's that didn't care what was going on in your lives as long as you were happy with what you were doing. This made the reporters aspective questions more diffcult to get out.

One of the greater reporters on the red carpet was Jon Norris from MTV News. He knew he didn't want to be out in Las Vegas to cover the event, but MTV stood at the top for music news. Serena and Kurt were already busy covering more important stories and Jon was handed the task of covering arrivals of the musical acts attending the awards. The uncomfortable feeling of being dressed in a suit and constantly looking out for the next interview was tiring for Jon. Usually he was amicable about the task. Jon was now resentful to the job. He had not found any off time like he had requested, making his assignment increasingly stressful.

Las Vegas was not a frosty town, despite the December weather. Everything was still fair and calm. Spirits were high on the carpet as glamour covered each corner of the walkway. Jon spotted an approaching party that he recognized easily. He was the first to clear the walk way to approach them. He made sure to stand in front of the small crowd that would be following him. Jon looked back and made eye contact with his production crew. They hurried to follow him and be his every foot step. Jon reached the party as they stopped to pose for beckoning photographers and fans. Jon heard the roaring screams from girls, signifying one thing. "It's the Backstreet Boys!" a group shouted from the distance. This brought on the attention of other commentators from the event. Jon gazed around and saw each set of reporters coming from different areas.

Jon threw himself in front of their party to halt them. "Hey guys, might I get a quick interview for MTV before the masses get to you?" Jon requested loudly, trying to reach over the screaming voices. Kevin was the first to look at him and acknowledge him. Soon Brian and A.J.'s attention was caught. "Uhm sure. We're always willing to help out our friends at MTV." Kevin agreed, gazing around to his friends for a correspondence. They all agreed with him. This brought relief to Jon.

Jon escorted everyone over to a secluded area of the red carpet while the Backstreet Boys' security held off other writers and anchors. Jon held up his mic and awaited the cameraman's signal to begin. "Thanks guys. I really appreciate this. I didn't want to have to fight for time to speak with you." Jon stated. He smiled a faultless smile at them. "Sure." A.J. nodded. "It's really no problem Jon. We prefer a simple interview with MTV over the rest of these guys." Kevin guaranteed him. Jon concured silently.

"We're ready." a producer said from the side. Jon held up his microphone and turned to the guys. "Well guys, you're out here in Vegas for the Billboard Awards and you're actually nominated five times. How does that feel?" Jon began with the basic technical questions. "It feels really great. We're very happy with our new album and we're thrilled to have such an honor as being nominated for a Billboard." Kevin was the first to speak up. Howie smiled, agreeing with him. "You guys are up against the likes of Shania Twain, Britney Spears and even 'N Sync. Any battling there? Difficulties?" Jon stated his next question. Everyone shook their head quickly. "No, we hope everyone walks out a winner." Kevin said. "Yeah, there's no battling or anything to that effect. We're all out here to have fun and hopefully bring home an award or two." Howie coincided with Kevin. "Everyone still wants to believe that you and 'N Sync are feuding. Especially since you almost left your label Jive over it. Are all the problems cleared up?" Jon asked, staying with the technical area. Kevin allowed someone else the chance to answer as he backed away. "Everything is pretty much settled. It was kind of hectic for a minute... but the rest was press crap. It really wasn't a big war or anything. It was just all about contracts and stuff." A.J. said. He made his prescence known with his smokey voice. "Which is pretty interesting because you and the guys of 'N Sync toured and what not. So there's not a possibility of problems." Jon added. "Nope, there aren't any problems. We get along just fine with the guys." Howie affirmed. Jon nodded, taking in information for further reports.

The flashing lights bore on the guys and their interview. Others tried to grab snippets of what was being said while photographers tried to snatch a good angle of the Backstreet Boys. "You guys are short one member tonight, right? Nick?" Jon asked, trying to make sure he was heard over the girls shouting for the boys. "For right now, yeah, we're missing Nick. But he called and he'll be here soon." Brian replied in his unvarying rustic intonation. "Yeah.. Nick's been in L.A. and so he had to catch a plane out here today. He called though and he'll be here in time for the show." Kevin adjoined. Brian eased back into their group, looking down at his watch. He glanced up and waved to a gantry of fans. They all screamed for him, causing him to press out a cheeky smile. This brought upon more yells. He winked at them and smooth his hand over his sandy brown hair.

Jon stepped forward so he could be heard more. "Now you guys brought dates? Some of you." Jon commented, looking at two girls that stood in the crowd the Backstreet Boys came in with. "Some of us." Howie agreed with a smile. "Introductions, please." Jon requested, almost coming off the record. Kevin grabbed a hand and pulled a girl forward. "This is Nikki.. she's my girlfriend." Kevin stated loudly so Jon could hear him. Jon admired Nikki as she stood in a tight white dress. She smiled at him and then waved to the crowd. "Nikki's in the group Innosense... they toured with us." A.J. added. Jon was intrigued. "Is that not the group that your girlfriend belonged to, A.J.?" Jon asked, turning his attention and the camera's concentration on A.J. "Yeah... my girl couldn't be here tonight though." A.J. nodded. Jon turned back to Nikki and Kevin. "Any tension there? Maybe she didn't come because of love loss for the group?" Jon tried to bring conflict to the interview. Nikki pursed her lips with distaste. "No... we're all still very close to Amanda. She just had a scheduling conflict that prevented her from showing up tonight." Nikki explained in a calm demeanor. Jon let the subject rest, playing on the time he had. "How long have you two been together?" Jon asked, trying to remain on the topic of Backstreet girlfriends. "For a while now. Since about May." Kevin answered, not thrilled about exposing himself to the world. Jon nodded and whispered something to his cameraman.

Jon gazed through their group and saw a second female to the back. "And does someone else have a girlfriend here? Nick's? Brian's?" Jon asked, drawing her attention. Kevin and Nikki stepped to the side. They held hands without reservation. Nikki sensed it might have been wrong since the two were near the area that was set aside for fans. Kevin however did not find the time to argue. He admired other celebrities crossing the red carpet. Nikki glimpsed over to him, seeing his attention averted. "Kev', do you think the fans will get upset?" Nikki asked in a hushed voice. Kevin turned his head in her direction and smiled. "Like my dear cousin Brian would say, 'Does it matter?'" Kevin replied. Nikki smiled affably at him. She shook her head and then edged closer to him. Kevin kept a grin on his face while watching Jon drawing the girl from the back.

"Actually she's Howie's date... Danay." Brian answered Jon's previous answer. Howie gave Brian a scowl. He crossed his arms and awaited Danay to walk to the front of the group. Danay reached her hand out to Jon and he grasped it. "However... Dana?" he questioned her name, unsure of what Brian said. "It's Danay." she clarrified with a generous smirk. Jon raised his eyebrows at her. Her beauty was undefinable for him. "You're Howie's date?" Jon asked quickly, trying not to stutter over his words. Danay giggled. She did her best to hook her arm in Howie's. "I'm Howie's date for tonight." she confirmed. Howie gave a smile for the camera, fighting his challenge to hide Danay from view. He could not afford the personal invasion that his friends suffered through with dating. "She's in Innosense too." Brian added, grinning. Howie dropped his eyebrows while looking at Brian. Brian sensed he was stepping into dangerous waters with Howie. Jon made a mental note of Brian's mentions and then glanced at Howie. "Anything serious happening here Howie? Something to build on?" Jon asked politely. He watched Howie's every move to see if he would falter. Howie sighed without the camera's notice. "We're just dating. Nothing serious." Howie said lowly. Danay did not show disappointment for the camera to admire and disect. She kept a graceful smile on her lips while dying inside. Nikki stared over Howie to look at Danay. She was gravely disgruntled with Howie's response. Brian doubted Howie's answer, but he found no room to fight with Howie.

Jon looked around to make his final comments. "So Brian you're flying solo tonight? No date?" Jon asked, drawing some attention to Brian. Brian looked up at him. He missed some of the question, but began to piece some of the words together. "Yep, I'm all alone tonight. I'm flying sky high." Brian replied, trying to joke on his situation. He laughed shyly. "Not by choice, eh?" Howie brought conflict into the group. He nudged Brian with a devious smile. "What was that?" Jon asked, missing Howie's portion. Brian looked at him with a bitter appeal in his blue eyes. Howie kept his smile painted on his lips. Danay felt the spite with Brian. 'What is wrong with him?' Danay questioned mentally. "Brian and A.J. are unaccompanied tonight. They didn't bring dates." Kevin did his best to cover for Howie's vengeful words. Jon understood the reply. He eyed Howie and Brian for some form of dispute. He was once again curious.

Jon backed away for a minute while others faught to see the Backstreet Boys. "Well thank you guys for taking the time to speak with me. I know you have to get inside for the awards soon. So have fun and good luck." Jon spoke up, ending their interview. He lowered his microphone and extended his hand. "Thanks guys. You were great and you bailed me out seriously." Jon stated. Kevin took his hand and shook it firmly. "It's okay Jon. We always have fun." Kevin commented. Jon grinned at him in a composed state. The others gazed around the area. The flashing lights were blinding them at times.

Danay tightly grasped Nikki's arm and began pull her to the back of the group. Nikki was forced to release her boyfriend's hand and follow her friend. She stumbled a little and made it safely to the back of the group with Danay. Danay stared at Nikki, calamity written to each corner of her face. Nikki's paler face was contorted in confusion. "I'm sorry Danay." Nikki finally spoke up, knowing what troubled Danay so climatically. Danay crossed her arms and held in her frustration. She held her eyes from blinking so that tears would not form. "At least now I am clear on where we stand." Danay sighed, her voice dropping. She tried to stand in a proud state for any pictures that would be snapped. Nevertheless, Nikki could see through her friend's facade. "Trust me... it's easier being a 'date' than it is being a Backstreet Boys' 'girlfriend'." Nikki remarked, watching some of the fans in the stands. Danay glanced over to the guys and sulked. "Or a boyfriend." Danay added, seeing Brian's dull expression. Nikki agreed inaudibly.

"Girls, come on... we're moving." a security guard called to them. Danay braced herself while Nikki slouched slightly. Danay's coca brown eyes looked at Nikki, seeing the definite pale complexion. "Are you okay girl?" Danay asked. Nikki began to walk with her, trying to make sure she walked straight. "I'm just a little sick." Nikki replied, pulling her hair back. The thought of Nikki being sick while at the awards added to Danay's displeasure in the night. She seeked refuge from the unmerciful turmoil.

Danay tried to help Nikki along so that her sickness was unnoticeable to spectators. Nikki took pride in knowing that her friend stood by her. Kevin glanced back to the two and could see they were lagging. He began his descent back to them. Nikki watched him with hawk eyes. She saw her oppurtunity was fading. "D... I'm late for my period." Nikki spoke up quickly and quietly so that only Danay heard her voice. The surprising and brisk comment caused Danay to jerk her head in Nikki's direction. Her eyes were sooned rimmed with astonishment. Words of wrath fleetly fled to her lips, but she was unable to speak them to Nikki. Kevin stepped between them and grabbed Nikki's hand, stopping Danay's verbal assault. Nikki scrunched her face and frowned, peering past Kevin to see Danay's furious expression. She knew that disillusion was hidden behind the face of hostility. "Hey Peaches... come on, we've gotta keep up with the others sweetie. You too Mama D." Kevin stated. He ushered them along the long carpeting in undesired silence. It was a bitter, cold silence despite the heat of Las Vegas.

The starlit outside was becoming packed with celebrities on the red carpet. Each were stopped for expeditious interview and even more hasty photo opts. The night was one not to be forgotten. The view for fans was average, but they could still see and envy their favorite stars. Some even applauded the stars for bringing dates to the event. They realized that life continues outside of the music world. However it was an endless task for security to control the frantic fans nearby and to usher the guests and their dates inside to the lobby of the MGM Grand.

Jon Norris held another 'victim captured' on the royal red carpet. This time his guest was that of the young Mandy Moore. Mandy was smiling brightly, knowing she was the new face in town. She tried to make her appearance more simplistic than grand. Her simplex pink top glittered in the light of spectrums. "Well Mandy, this has got to be a big night for you... I mean with your single doing so well on the charts right now, you could probably look for a nomination yourself.. maybe next year." Jon spoke with ease to the fifteen year old. Mandy laughed at the suggestion. "I don't know, I'd like that. I'm really happy my album's out and all. But actually I'm just really happy to be out here tonight, seeing all of these big stars. It's my first award show as... like one of them." Mandy stated, laughing in the background. Jon was impressed at her laid back personality. He held the mic straight for her, never missing a word she said. "Well you are certainly one of them. One of the elite. Now you've toured with the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync... is it all hype? Are these guys truly talented or is it all just bubble gum pop?" Jon dabbled in a bit of controversy. "Oh you must be kidding. 'Bubble gum pop'? Please. They are super talented! I learned so much from them on tour... and I've become really close to them, especially the Backstreet Boys." Mandy replied. Her smile was endless and the camera adored her.

Mandy eased back her blonde hair with grace and then awaited another question. "So they're the real deal then?" Jon questioned. Mandy laughed again. "They are the real-real deal." Mandy snickered. "They know what they're doing when they get out there and how to do it the right way. I learned a lot from them. Everyone gets along with everyone. It's a big family for them and they were so kind to let me join in. Now the guys call and check on me... and everything. Like the other day, Brian called me and asked me what my plans were for tonight? He said they are having a little get together and he invited me to join them. So it's so cool." Mandy declared with joy. Jon was amazed, not only by her but by revelations of the Backstreet Boys. "And do you still speak with 'N Sync?" Jon questioned in a more professional attire. Mandy nodded graciously. "They are great guys too. I didn't get to see them as much as Backstreet because they were just opening for the BSB in Europe... but now if I see them around town or whatever, they're really nice to me. Justin's great too. I got to see him a little on this tour we just wrapped up. Plus J.C. too." Mandy said, glitter filling her eyes. Jon made sure his cameraman did not lose any precious seconds of close-up time on Mandy.

The roaring sounds of the fans were pulling for Mandy to make her exit. She knew the show started within a half hour's time. "Okay, one last question Mandy... what about girlfriends? Did you meet any? Were the guys cheating on any of their girls? What's the deal?" Jon asked boldly, causing a small frown to cross Mandy's lucious lips. Mandy shook her head quickly. "That's personal for them and all. I did meet some of the girlfriends in Europe though, yes." Mandy responded in a possom tone. Jon arched his eyebrow with suspicion. "Can you tell us which ones you met? Were they nice and cool like the Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync?" Jon became incresingly agile with the way he questioned her. Mandy looked around, hearing fans acknowledge her prescence. "Uhm, they were all really to me in general. I met A.J.'s girlfriend, she's a sweetie. And I met two girls from Innosense, the group. I believe one is dating Kevin. I also met the girl Chris, from 'N Sync, is going out with. She was on the European tour as one of the opening acts. She was so nice to me!" Mandy answered the question in diminutive bits and pieces.

Mandy stood gently, trying to see if Jon would let the question die. He, however, was standing strong in his need to be inquisitive. "Did you meet any of the other girlfriend's from 'N Sync?" he asked, still inquiring. Mandy thought over the question with careful speculation. "Yeah, I met Joey's girlfriend. Ya'll know about that... Britney Spears? Well she came out for a little bit in Europe." Mandy tried to remain innocent in her answering. Jon's eyes lit up with a promising topic. "Britney came out to Europe? Did you talk to her? Was she nice to you or did she have an indifference toward you?" Jon inched closer to make sure he did not lose a second of the coming segment. Mandy sighed softly. She did her best to remain a chipper, young girl for the camera. "I didn't really get to see Britney... she wasn't there long and she spent a lot of time with Joey and the guys of 'N Sync. But after my opening act, she would be really nice to me and tell me that I did good. She even gave me a little advice. So she was very nice." Mandy answered the question instantaneously. Her words made it obviously clear to Jon and his production staff that something serious was brewing between Britney Spears and Joey Fatone. "She gave you 'advice'?" Jon asked, hoping to find another intriguing subject-matter. Mandy turned her head with tiring feelings. "Yes, she was so sweet and she just gave me advice on how to handle the fans and what not when opening up for a boy band." Mandy replied, doubting Jon's want to forget the subject. Jon nodded, feeling pleased with the time he had used up to interview Mandy.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure you should be getting inside soon. Thanks for giving us a little of your time Mandy... we appreciate it greatly." Jon stated, releasing her from the burden of the interrogation. Mandy gleamed with joy in her mind. 'It's about time.' she thought while shaking Jon's hand. She was affective in not showing her annoyance with the interview. "Sure, anytime." she said fleetly. She gave a few waves to the adoring crowd. 'This better go over well.' she thought, fearing what may come of her words with Jon. She felt security beginning to surround her, signaling her time for departure. She drew away from the camera and then slipped into the lobby of the MGM Grand.

Time was falling closer to the start of the awards show. A few of the late celebrities were trying to rush their arrivals across the red carpet to make it to their seats. One group that still remained on the red carpet with Jon Norris was 'N Sync. They were closed in by their security so that Jon could make his interview hasty and commodious. "Now you guys are strolling in here kind of late for the show. What happened?" Jon started with a more diverse first query. There was a round of laughter between the guys. "Traffic." they all announced unanimously. This brought on more laughter and jokes. "I swear man we saw Savage Garden, Christina Aguilera, 98ø, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Celine Dion and Sugar Ray while we were sitting in that limo. They all passed us by and we were... just stuck." Justin said with an anxious voice. "It was crazy man!" Chris boasted, feeling a bit hyper with the excitement of the night. "I don't know what was up... the limo driver just wasn't driving right." Lance agreed in his known bass voice. "He was driving Miss 'N Sync eh?" Jon joked on the situation. He brought out more laughter from the guys. "I guess so." J.C. agreed, tittering. "Well at least you arrived with all five members. The Backstreet Boys have only made it with four of their members and I'm not sure if Nick is here yet." Jon added a trivial note to his words. His speech brought a few eyes onto J.C. who turned them all away. He licked his thick lips and turned his eyes toward other arriving guests.

Jon looked around to each member for a sense of resentment toward the Backstreet Boys. He failed in finding any. "So I see at least one of you brought a date tonight, correct?" Jon inquired, pointing out an obvious for the camera. Chris smiled and brought Meelah to the camera's view. "Yep." he replied as fingers began to point to him. Meelah smiled at the camera, her smooth skin being accented by the camera's light. "This is Kameelah Williams from 702, correct?" Jon asked, knowing who she was from previous interviews. "That's her!" Justin chimed, standing behind her. Meelah smiled as if she was the new model for Calvin Klien jeans. She was now known. Chris nodded, feeling complacency while standing next to Meelah. "How long have you two been together? Or are you just a 'date'?" Jon tried to find the right definition to identify Meelah. Meelah could see that he was speaking directly to her and she took his words in stride. "No, she's my girlfriend. We've been together since August." Chris answered him, holding Meelah's hand tightly. Meelah was relieved she did not have to respond to the question. Jon was throughly surprised with the revelations he received in one night's time. "So Chris and you met up on the tour?" Jon asked, ignoring the others to concentrate on Meelah and Chris. "No, actually we met before that... we actually met in Cancun for MTV's Spring Break earlier this year... then we talked for a while and finally hooked up right before the Backstreet Boys' tour." Meelah explained. She saw no shame in her relationship with Chris. Chris smiled at the camera, inching closer to Meelah. He knew he would receive grief from his fans, but he refused to not support his girlfriend. He took pride in knowing she was his and he had won her over by being himself.

"Well that is wonderful to hear. MTV sort of played Matchmaker for you two." Jon commented. He got an accord of agreement. "It was like playing the Dating Game." Meelah giggled. "Or Love Connection!" J.C. jested. "Yeah, that's where Lance hooked up with Jennifer Love Hewitt and I hooked up with Brian and J.C. hooked up with RuPaul." Justin added, winking at the camera. Jon's eyes flipped with curiosity. "I'm just kidding." Justin said with his candid laugh. The others joined him so the moment would not be awkward. Meelah nudged Justin, attempting to prevent him from disclosing his actual romance with Brian Littrell. "And Joey? No Britney for you tonight?" Jon pondered, looking past Lance to see Joey. Joey stepped forward a little to hear him.

As Jon repeated the question, J.C. and Justin turned to the fans and waved. This created a rage of screams to break out, making Justin and J.C. laugh helplessly. "Well they're excited." Justin snickered to J.C. J.C. nodded, waving again. He silenced his thoughts about Nick to try and enjoy his night in Las Vegas. He could hear Joey replying to the question, signifying Justin and J.C.'s need to turn around and attend to the interview.

Jon was satiated with Joey's response to his personal question. He glanced around and saw that things were being wrapped up outside. "Well okay... you guys have to head in very soon, so I had better make this quick. Who are you guys rooting for tonight?" Jon asked, opening the floor for anyone to reply. "We're rooting for the Artists Formerly Known As 'N Sync." Justin answered with amour propre. Another set of giggles was sent in the group. "Yeah, we want them to win!" Joey agreed tumultuously. His flaring red hair was gleaming in the camera's lense. He scratched his goatee and prayed that Britney had made it to the hotel safely. Lance patted him on the shoulder with a grin. Though Lance did not admit it, he was proud of Joey for having a long standing relationship with a girl.

Jon could see that each of them were not letting any of their business situations come between their social events. "Okay, sounds like a plan gentlemen. You guys have a good night." Jon said, smiling consciously. He reached out and grasped J.C.'s hand first and then Lance's. The other stood to the side and gave small poses for the cameras that snapped shots of them. "Well this is cute." Chris whispered to Meelah while slipping his arm around her waist. They posed for cameras as a 'perfect couple'. "You'd prefer sit at home and watch Life again, huh?" Meelah joked with him. Chris laughed lowly. "Those bastards aren't gettin' my corn bread." Chris replied, mocking Eddie Murphy. "Hey you two, don't get all kissy-faced just because you can and I can't." Justin murmured to them as he posed for a picture with Lance and Joey. "Aaaww, poor baby." Meelah and Chris said simultaneously. Justin pouted and then laughed. "Nah, I'm cool." Justin assured them. Justin waved to a few fans that called on him. It was no longer embrassing to hear the explicit things girls would shout to Justin at large events. He adjusted well. "That's because you and Brian were getting freaky this morning." Joey chimed softly. He grinned as he took another photograph with Lance. Justin's mouth fell open with surprise. "It was not a sound I wanted to wake up to." Lance added,g rinning. Justin pouted again and then crossed his arms. Lance and Joey laughed hard at the sight.

Security began to escort the guys toward the doors so that they were not held outside. "Where do you think Nick is?" Lance asked in a low voice. He didn't want the others to enter into his conversation with J.C. J.C. lowered his brow. He was not sure whether to deal with his emotional side or his political side. "Who knows... and who cares." J.C. shrugged, showing signs of dwindling emotions. Lance eyed him with uncertainty. He had waited months to hear such a phrase and now the phrase did not ring close enough to his heart. "Do you think he'll show up?" Lance asked, trying to decipher J.C.'s words. J.C. looked around, seeing that his companions remained in the back of their group. "If he shows, he shows. Right now, Joshua Chasez just doesn't give a fuck." J.C. responded softly and bitterly. Lance was shocked. The flashing lights didn't help him as he tried to ease J.C.'s emotions. He took seconds to battle with previous feelings and true reasoning. "It's okay Josh. He'll be show up." Lance whispered to J.C. J.C. shook his head quickly. "Lance, you're my date tonight. I haven't talked to Nick in days and right now, I don't want to talk to him or about him. So show me a good time and you just might get a 'thank you' later on." J.C. stated, edging closer to Lance. Lance giggled in a flirtatious way. "I don't want anything from you Sleepy." he said softly. J.C. shrugged without care. "Your loss." he stated, walking right next to Lance. Lance began to smile on the inside as J.C. walked with him.

The lights were dimmed and the house was packed. From Mark McGrath to Christina Aguilera to DMX to Metalica, the MGM Grand housed celebrities near and far. The range of faces were deep and complex. Rival artists sat on opposite sides from each other to arrouse more media attention. This did not help the artists however who saw no need for battling within media ties. The opening act for the show was known other than the titled 'Latin Susperstar', Jennifer Lopez. Her less than satisfying performance was not awed by the audience, but yet tolerated for respect. No one dared boo her as she attempted dance moves that were beyond her ability. "Man... she does have a big ass." a whisper fell from Joey's lips as he and his commrades sat on the side of the large auditorium. "That she does." Justin agreed boldly, pulling down his sunglasses as he did. Lance gazed at both of them with astonishment. "Uhm excuse me you two... girlfriend in the front row and husband on the other side." Lance whispered to them, trying to break their concentration. "And big ass on the stage." Joey added, smiling intensely. Lance elbowed him, still trying to control his amazement. Justin laughed under his breath when seeing Joey's contorted expression. Meelah and Chris gazed at each other as the mild confrontation between the three occured. They saw no need to gawk at Jennifer Lopez's untimely ability to bore the crowd or their friends' capability of arguing of petty material.

Progression became a serious part of the night for the Backstreet Boys. They endured Adam Corolla's boring 'sidekick' job as Kathy Griffin stole the show with her undying and less-than-bubbly humor. "And I just saw Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera getting into a bitch fight backstage. Don't ask me what that was about... but I did hear Christina call LeAnn Rimes 'grandma', so you know there's trouble there." Kathy joked with the crowd. "Oh God... Britney don't take it personal." Danay whispered, trying to gaze over to where Britney sat. Howie grasped her hand causing her to draw her view in his direction. "You know Britney's going to take it personal, Danay." Howie spoke in an undertone. Danay rolled her eyes so that he could see her. She pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms, showing her anger with him. Howie gave her a dejected expression. "What did I..." Howie did not have time to finish his sentence. He saw a tall gentleman slip by him and then slid into a seat next to Brian. Howie could barely place any recognition on the figure. It was just a blaketing shadow as he passed.

Danay tried to catch onto what Howie suddenly became fascinated with. Howie's mocha brown eyes were kept lock with the figure. He gazed down and saw a mop of fluffy blonde hair. "Nick?" Howie whispered down in the direction of the man. A pair of rich blue eyes gazed back to him and smiled. "Sorry I'm late." Nick hissed to his friends. Nikki stared at him with peculiar eyes. "It's okay Nickie. We're glad you made it." Brian responded to cover for the feelings his friends could not express at the awards show. He sensed they were strong and bitter words. Brian patted Nick's hand and smiled, receiving an equally large smile from Nick. "Is Josh okay?" Nick asked, cautiously. Brian lost a piece of the smile when he perceived Nick's inquisition. Brian looked straight out into the MGM Grand. "Uhm... I don't know Nick." Brian replied in honesty. Nick sighed. He felt indifferent.

'That's what you get for not coming home to Orlando with the rest of us.' Kevin brooded in his mind, not bothering to glance down at his friend. His ice blue eyes watched the stage as Sugar Ray and Jessica Simpson crossed the walkway to the podium. When Nikki heard the title of the category, she smiled appreciatively. Nikki glinced over to Kevin with a curious smirk. She watched him keep his endless eyes on the stage, awaiting to hear the winner of the category. "I think you might win this one." Nikki whispered to her boyfriend. Kevin shrugged, not as a confident as his girlfriend. Danay watched both with suspicion. She was not satisfied or happy with what she heard from Nikki earlier. She only feared in a selfish way. She had apprehensions of losing another member of Innosense to a Backstreet Boy and to pregnancy.

"And the winner is... the Backstreet Boys with 'Millennium'." Jessica Simpson announced in a flattering tone. The announcement did not shock many, but surprised fell upon the Backstreet Boys. A round of applause hit the MGM Grand as the Backstreet Boys and their guests stood. Nikki enclosed arms around Kevin's neck as Brian and Nick congratulated each other. "Good job Mr. Littrell." Nick teased Brian. Brian laughed before throwing his arms around Nick with joy. A.J.'s mouth vibrated with his screams of victory as Howie gave Danay a peaceful hug. "Congratulations D." Danay said in the midst of the celebration. Howie gave her a brief kiss on the cheek and smiled. "Come on! Come on!" Nick boasted, trying to urge his friends to rush the podium.

Kevin began to lead the pack toward the podium when A.J. yanked Nick into an embrace. Brian quickly followed Kevin for the podium. He could hear the loud applause that followed each step they took. Brian watched as his cousin walked with his head held high. His sky blue eyes were filled with conquest. Brian knew Kevin was proud that the Backstreet Boys were able to win the award over 'N Sync, Britney Spears and Shania Twain. Brian too reveled in the triumph, except with less arrogance. He didn't bother to look back and see how far his friends were behind. He simply took long strides to catch up with Kevin at the podium, a smile covering his dazed expression.

The Backstreet Boys shook hands with Sugar Ray and mingled lightly with Jessica Simpson during their hugs. The crowd was flustered when hearing another one of A.J.'s powerful screams. Brian grasped one of the many awards that sat at the podium, followed by Howie. Brian could feel Howie's tight grip clutch his shoulder. Brian turned to him with a happy expression while Howie smiled his traditional smirk. 'Congrats.' Howie mouthed, trying to make Brian feel even better. "You too." Brian agreed audibly. Brian and Howie took a listen to the feverish screams of the fans that sat in the balcony of the MGM Grand.

"Thank you Billboard!" A.J. launched the gratefulness toward the RIAA system. Brian did his best to step forward while A.J. awed at the site of the award. Brian began to speak when he saw A.J.'s hed dodge back for the microphone. A.J. silenced himself, seeing Brian's chisled face wanting to speak foremost. A.J. backed away with his immense and Cheshire grin. Brian thanked him with a wave and stepped forward again. "Wow... okay, well first and foremost, we need to thank God for all that He has done for us. Uhm, thank you Lord." Brian took an insignificant pause to look at his award. "With all of the things the Backstreet Boys have been through for the past year or so... it's been a real pleasure to have the Big Man on our side. So once again, thank you God. And I love you baby! I've gotta thank God for you too. Thank you babe." Brian finished, smiling over the podium toward his favorite face. He could see the flustered red face that smiled back at him. Brian winked and then pulled away from the podium.

The crowd was still very impressed with the Boys genuine appreciation for the things they had been given. Justin felt a nudge to his side and then glanced over to Joey. Joey smirked with laughter in his lips. He pointed towards the stage, trying to clasp his laughter in his throat. Justin glanced up and saw that Brian was still casually flirting with him from the side of the stage. Justin giggled loosely and gave Brian a wink. "Okay well I want to thank my family... the record label, thank you Jive. You've been wonderful to us. I want to thank all of the fans... all of them. We love ya'll. And our biggest fans, Blink 182. I've gotta thank our management and everyone else who's supported us and... I love you baby." A.J. tried to make his speech brief and to the point. He accomplished his goal, causing him to draw back to where Brian stood. Nick made it a point to step up next, feeling awkward with the way he looked. "I don't really know what to say. I mean I just got here and all. My plane was late and so was I. That's why my hair looks like this..." Nick said, drawing a small laugh from the crowd. "But uhm, on my way here I was trying to think of who to thank for all that we've gotten this year. It took me awhile, but then it came to me. I want to thank the younger generation like 'N Sync and Britney Spears for doing what they've done this year. Just like we have." Nick stated. He smiled, flopping his hair down. He grabbed his award and took a small step back as the crowd clapped.

Howie heard the music signaling them to back away flaring through the speakers. "Hold up! Wait!" Howie called out, trying to make a speech. The music stopped with a fleeting disappointment. Howie knew his time was short, seeing that the crowd was ready to move to the next segment. He cleared his throat and stood strong with his award. "I want to thank our family and friends for helping us through this year. All of the families, old and new and everyone else. Especially the fans. We love you all!" Howie said with passion, but in a hurried tongue.

Kevin stared out into the audience and saw Nikki's gentle smile giving him another sense of hope. he felt his speech coming upon him and he began his step forward. The raging sound of the intermission took over the MGM Grand again. Kevin bolted for the microphone and gripped it, hoping the sound producer would catch a glimpse of him. 'Come on Kev.' his mind raced as he pleaded with the sound producer to halt the music. Unlike Howie, Kevin failed. The music continued and the female escorts ushered the Boys to exit from the podium. Brian began his walk, not bothering to look back at his cousin as he tried to speak. A.J. was the first to urge Kevin to move, grabbing one of his broad arms. Howie grasped one of the escorts arms and walked with her in the path that Sugar Ray and Brian began. He ignored the thoughts that might have been running through Danay's complex mind. Jessica Simpson stood stiff and watched the others with fond curiosity. "Come on Kevy." Nick advised, tapping his shoulder. Kevin cursed under his breath as he snatched his award. He prayed for another oppurtunity to express his thanks as he began to follow his friends down the corridor, leading to the backstage area.

Bitter feelings were drawn up after a brisk commercial break. The announcement of 98ø and Christina Aguilera gracing the stage brought up some feelings within some of the audience members. The predictable joy Jessica Simpson showed when Nick Lachey crossed the stage did not compare to the expressions that crossed another female pop singer. Britney's threatening stare as Christina reached the podium dipped into the depths of a cold part of Britney's heart. It resembled the frostbitten feeling of walking into a New York winter's morning. Christina glanced down and saw Britney's sour glare. She smiled perkily. She then led her eyes to the area that 'N Sync sat in and poised her attention on one of the members. A familiar, curly-head member that she knew from her days as a Mouseketeer. Britney also knew the former Mousekeeter, but in a more intimate way. Christina knew him by face, by prescence and by her own carnal thoughts. Britney knew him in a more tender sense. The erstwhile Mickey Mouse Club constituent held places in each of their hearts. Just the mention of his name, Justin, in each of their presence brought upon old and kindred thoughts. Though the two girls were once amicable friends, their battle in the past to win over Justin's affection tore them from all sense of closeness.

Justin could see that Christina was looking at him. His thoughts left him to preceive her stares as looks of enticement instead of sociable looks. He tried to hid his eyes from her behind his framed sunglasses and then attempted to make light conversation with his friends. "Hey Justin... I think little Christina is looking over here at us." Lance whispered to Justin. Justin scrunched his face in disappointment. He craved for a relief of Christina's attempts. "I think she's just noticing that Joey's not sitting with Britney." Justin replied lowly. He tried to stay away from the subject of Christina, but he found no route of escape. "Uhm, why would she think about that?" Joey asked, drawing Justin back to reality. Justin sighed uncontrollably. He looked back to the stage where Christina continued to tease him. Justin raised his left hand slightly and pointed to the ring that decorated his left ring finger. Christina contorted her face in distaste. She shivered at the thought of the man she once loved being married, to another man. She did her best to bring her attention to the presentation of the award to Ricky Martin.

Justin smiled, thankfully. He sulked in his chair. 'That was rough.' Justin thought, watching Christina, Ricky Martin and 98ø clear the stage. He looked around and saw that no one caught his silent argument with Christina over romance. Justin stopped his searching, not even bothering to look over to Brian. He didn't want to look at Brian for some odd reason. It was not in his interest. He propped his chin on his hand and tried to keep his calm for the rest of his period in the seat.

The advancement of the awards presentation was unremitting and at times comical. Kathy Griffin's steady jokes were amusing for most, while others took her words to heart. 'N Sync was easily able to laugh off the suggestion of 'The Meaty Cheese Boys', a parody of the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync. The combination resembled 'N Sync's quick movements more than the Backstreet Boys keen vocals.

'N Sync watched as Kathy Griffin swayed to the podium with her long, cherry-orange hair and form-fitting, powder blue dress. "Well I tell ya, it's just crazy around here tonight... so let's just introduce our next act, who might I say is now crowned Pop's Teen Queen and the Billboard's Bitch Fight Champion." Kathy teased with a comedical grin. She drew the laughter she wanted from the audience. Kathy quickly eyed Christina Aguilera. She saw a hint of bitter emotion in Christina's crystal blue eyes. The glare did not faze her interminable vanity. "Ladies and gentlemen... here she is, Miss Britney 'T.K.O.' Spears." Kathy ended her introduction with another joke, bringing up a light round of giggling before a grand sound of acclaim from the audience.

The stage was dimly lit. The audience could see people sitting around the stage, motionless. There was no sign of Britney due to the hearty amount of shadows that covered the stage. Without warning a bright, white spotlight fell upon the stage, directing all of its attention to a swing in the middle of the stage. Sitting on the swing was a young woman with honey blonde hair that did not dare grace her shoulders. She wore a headset microphone while her fashionable ensemble included a long, tailored white jacket, a small, jet black tube top and tight white capri's. She swung loosely, her feet dangling inching from the stage. A smile crossed her lips when she heard the crowd give her recognition. "Britney!" some of the fans screamed from the balcony. They did not sway Britney's stare out into the midst of the audotorium.

The sounds of a plucking guitar and an easy going melody brought upon some movement on the stage. It remained dark and quiet, except for the background music. Britney brushed her hair back with trademark elegance. She was prepared for her performance and to bring the audience all that they needed.

Ah nah nah nah (Nah nah nah)

Ooh (Nah nah nah)

Yeah yeah

Oooh (Nah nah nah)

Britney took in a final breath after singing the beginning ad-libs. She took one hand from one of the cables she held. It was instinct. She brought emphasis to her music through her facial expressions and body gestures.

"Never look back," we said

How was to know I'd miss you so?

Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind

Where do I go?

And you didn't hear

All my joy through my fears

Did you now, still I miss you somehow

Britney's voice did not ring as clear as it did on the remastered CD, but she kept a solid harmony while singing her verse of heartache. She slowed her rocking on the swing and stepped down onto the stage with the assistance of two of her male dancers. A smile did not slide over her glossy lips. She kept a serious look for the camera while walking forward to the foot of the stage.

From the bottom of my broken heart

There's just a thing or two I'd like to know

You were my first love

You were my true love

From the first kisses to the very last love

Britney ceased singing before reaching the second portion of the chorus. She brought the second to a smooth end, bringing up the lights on the stage. Her dancers stood, each in their own position. Britney glanced around, seeing how the audience would react to her brief intermission. She brushed her jacket back and stood stiff.

Hey Britney...

That's the old song...

Give them something... new...

With a computer simulated voice, the announcement was made. Britney finally let a unique smile fall on her tender lips. The scracthing of a record, brought the dancers forward and into formation behind Britney. The sound of a new song filled the auditorium. It was a more upbeat, rock-sounding melody. Britney and the dancers began their well choreographed dance movements to the beat of the song.

Since the very first day

True love hit us in a special way

But I can't control my temptation

Baby your love is a new vibration

And when you look at me (look at me)

Baby it feels so very real

I can't say no when you ask (when you ask)

Baby I want to make this moment last

Oh ho

Britney made short-lived interactions with the audience. She concentrated on not missing a note or lyric of the tune. Her hair became a small problem as Britney continued to yank it back. Her coat and tube top added to the problem when Britney became heated or felt her top leaning downward on her body. Britney stayed professional throughout her ordeal. She made sure the crowd respected her talents and that they enjoyed her performance. It was one of the things she lived for.

And baby it's your kiss (baby, baby)

It's your kiss (baby, baby)

It makes me hot like fire

And baby it's your kiss (baby, baby)

It's your kiss (baby, baby)

You're my desire

Baby it's your kiss, baby it's your...

Baby it's your kiss, baby it's your...

Britney stepped further away from her dancers, smiling proudly. She had won the crowd over with her song and her dancing. Sweat covered her smooth body. She knew she had worked up the perspiration, but she didn't care. She loved the adoration. Her mocha brown eyes gazed over to the side of the auditorium and she caught a glimpse of Joey Fatone's face. It was filled with admiration for her. The sense of knowing Joey looked at her without a fazing love helped her to continue her performance. 'Man... he's really in love.' she thought as she walked over to her planned position for the next portion of the song. She smiled innocently.

Britney took her eyes from Joey and looked at Justin. Thoughts raced through her mind. Seeing Christina, dealing with the press and knowing thoughts she shared with only Nikki made her mind drift from the performance. 'What are you doing Britney?' she questioned herself. She felt conviction flooding through her heart. 'Do you think we'll be married someday, Justin?' a past mentioning from a childhood life passed through her mind. 'Maybe. I guess it depends.' she could hear the response vividly. 'Depends on what?' the questioning continued in Britney's brain. 'If we can be separate and still be in love, then yes. If we can learn not to be jealous, yes. If we can grow up and mature, then yes.' she heard Justin's response. The one response that led onto their breakup. Britney finally came to a realization in her mind. Justin was hinting to her six years ago. He was expressing his distaste for her jealousy and for his own immaturity. Most of all, Justin was expressing his thoughts concerning the six months that Justin and Britney would have to spend apart during tapings of the Mickey Mouse Club. Britney felt a surge in her heart, cracking through her body. She missed her chance, but something was telling her other things.

Baby it's your lovely kiss

It's something that I miss

I want you so bad for my life

Won't you please do it a second time

Oh, ho baby

Britney was finally able to bring her vocals out for another portion of the song. She began the dance routine again while trying to bring all of her focus back to her performance. She did not want to faulter because of what she thought in her mind. "Britney... move to the side..." she could hear T.J. hissing to her as she stepped back. Britney quickly shimmied to the side, her mind losing concentration at the task at hand.

And when you look at me (look at me)

Baby I wish you'd say the words

I can't say no when you beg and plead (plead)

You've got all that I need

Oh ho

Britney recollected her next move and ran to the other side of the stage to finish her routine with the female dancers while the male dancers stepped to a beat of their own. Britney considered of each move as she did them, unlike times where the moves flowed through her body without any form of thought. She pulled back her hair again, showing small signs of strain. Without realizing it, Britney knew she was avoiding any form of eye contact with Joey or Justin. It was now becoming a task for her to perform instead of a joy she once held. Her smile was gradually fading, barely grasping on her lips.

And baby it's your kiss (baby, baby)

It's your kiss (baby, baby)

It makes me hot like fire

And baby it's your kiss (baby, baby)

It's your kiss (baby, baby)

You're my desire

Britney ended her performance in the middle of the stage with her dancers surrounding her. Her eyes were filled with a lost emotion while he body pounded from the stress of performing and reminiscing on a painful past. The approval of the audience showed that not many could have noticed her facial expressions or strain during the performance. Britney smiled peacefully. She felt safe. "Thank you." she whispered into her headset, taking a small bow. She waved to the crowd and began her steps back with her dancers. "Are you okay Brit?" T.J. asked as he ran a hand over her shoulder. Britney looked toward the backstage and saw her escape from her thoughts. "Yeah... I just got a little lightheaded, that's all. I'm cool." Britney assured him. She sniffled and then pushed her coat back so she could walk for the backstage. T.J. stared at her in disbelief, but he did not bother to vocalize his doubt in his friend.

After a few more awards were handed out, a commercial break commensed. Two blonde's remained backstage, awaiting the end of the commercial break. One of the blonde's was of the age of fifteen. Her hair was gracing her back and she stood with prestige. Another blonde sat in a chair with his hair neatly trimmed. His palms were filled with sweat and his eyes never dared to look at the other blonde. "Are you okay Aaron?" Mandy Moore asked her young friend, seeing a frantic expression written on his face. Aaron's head quickly jerked up to look at her. "Uh... uh, uhm... yeah." Aaron stuttered out. He clasped his hands together and gave Mandy a shakey smile. Mandy shot him a crooked glare. "You aren't nervous are you?" Mandy asked, folding her arms and giving birth to a sly grin. Aaron shook his head quickly and then hide his blue eyes again. Mandy released a little giggle. "Right, sure you're not Aaron." Mandy said, snickering. She felt pleasure in teasing him and joking with him. Aaron tried to laugh through his closeted feelings. His face was a blistering red shade. Whether embarassment or nervousness ruled his emotions, he was not ready to speak up to Mandy in a clear voice.

"Hey... two minutes kids." a technician said as he passed by them. Mandy nodded while Aaron lifted his head with slight astonishment. The technician stopped his movement and looked at Mandy standing directly next to Aaron. His crisp eyes admired them in a different sense. "Well don't you two make a cute couple... really cute." he uttered out without thinking. His baffling movement broke an enormous amount of laughter from Mandy's lips while causing Aaron's face to turn a new tinge of crimson. His heart failed him and he was unable to look up to Mandy. It was an unpretentious result. "I'm sorry... it's just that you two are cute together." the technician spoke up in his own defense. Mandy smiled with a gleam. She looked down to Aaron who still refused to lift his head. "Did ya hear that Aaron? We're a 'cute couple'." Mandy teased him, following her words with another loud laughter.

Aaron felt his emotions escalated while sitting in his seat. His embarassment had left his subconscious. Anger now filled its void while nervousness had its strong impact still boiling. He gripped his fists shut. He felt all feelings of tenderness melting away. He stood with an anxious spirit. "Will ya'll stop saying that! Me and Mandy aren't a cute couple! She doesn't even like me like that!" Aaron shouted while standing backstage. He had forgotten where he stood. In actuality, he did not care. He had to release emotions that stood in the path of his normal behavior. He refused to let life be stuck in second place to fear.

Sweat dripped off his forehead when he finally looked at the two people he had just barked at. The technician stood with a mild expression, trying to figure out where the built up emotional outburst came from. He figured it was his moment for exit and he did not miss the oppurtunity. "Uhm, one minute you two." the technician said hastily. He gripped his clipboard and held it to his chest, covering his heart. He nodded, feeling the nervous nature Aaron had been living with. He briskly stepped to the side and walked with a quick pace toward the dressing rooms of the backstage area.

Aaron drooped his head, refusing to look at Mandy's expression anymore. Her face was a pale white and her eyes were hollowed out with shock. "I... I'm sorry Mandy." Aaron whispered, his voice carried in the echoes of emotions set free. He burried his face in shame. He loosened his fists, sweat still slicking his hands. He raised his eyes again, letting Mandy's olive-green eyes meet with the eyes he hid under his brow. He prayed for some form of communication between their eyes to soften the mood that he had brought on. He was a victim of his own convictions.

Their moment was not without poetry. Mandy stepped forward and directed her eyes into Aaron's soul and not his physical expressions. "Aaron... you like me?" Mandy questioned. She was able to puzzle his previous words to come to one simple conclusion. Aaron nodded, trying to relinquish the fear that held him from saying anything to her before. Some would have looked upon them as 'puppy love', but without close deductions, one could not speak on their romance. It was perpetual. "Why didn't you tell me? I'm flattered." Mandy stated, unable to create expression for Aaron. Aaron shuffled his foot across the ground, feeling overwhelmed. "I was afraid you'd reject me... you seemed to like J.C. a little more than me." Aaron replied, his lips trembling. He had returned to his nervous state again. He felt it had become a home for his heart. "J.C.? Nah. He's just a friend that'll give me opinions on my music when I ask. Plus he's twenty-three. I mean come on now Aaron. I'm fifteen. My parents wouldn't even let me date Nick if I wanted to and he's only nineteen." Mandy explained in a less-than-flattering manner. It brought on more pressure for Aaron. Mandy could see she had caused more disturbance within Aaron. "I mean not that I'd date your goofball brother or anything. I'm just saying... you shouldn't hold back feelings like that." Mandy tried to correct her foregoing error.

Aaron shifted his eyes to the stage. He knew it was coming. There moment to grace the stage was drawing ever so near. "Does that mean me and you... well could... go to the movies or something? Maybe I could walk you home?" Aaron was determined to become a little bolder. He even gestured toward one of Mandy's songs to add to his charm. He painted an adorable smile on his face for her to delight in. Mandy giggled softly, seeing that he was attempting to procure a date with her. "Sure we can Aaron... but as friends." Mandy replied, giving a little more serious tone to her voice. Aaron battled with accepting negotiation or requesting something a little more intimate. He could not find to contemplate the ideas. He saw the racing want for an answer from Mandy and others gathering near them, signaling their cue was coming to move onto the main stage. "Sounds good to me." Aaron finally gave her an answer. He smiled relentlessly, covering up his confused sensibility. Mandy smiled back at him. She saw a little flicker of innocence within the younger boy. She could turn to him, but only in a friendly way. Mandy did not search for anything else but friendship.

A technician signaled them to step up to the marker. Mandy and Aaron followed their orders. They shared a new sense of nervousness together. It was a new experience to be able to step up on stage as the young singers trying to make in within the corrupt music profession. Mandy took a deep breath and then grabbed Aaron's hand. She relied on him for a sheild from the nervous feelings. He was the little boost of strength she needed. Aaron turned his head in her direction. He saw the glimmer in her eye. She was excited. "It's almost time to go Mr. Carter." she whispered, looking to the curtains. Aaron gripped her hand with sensitivity. "Don't trip Mandy." Aaron joked, making his eyes glance to the curtains. He had to resist temptations to stare at her beauty. "Same to you smartie." Mandy snickered softly. Aaron grinned, feeling proud he had made Mandy laugh. He was experiencing new feelings, pure emotions. It was developing to be something a little more than a crush, but he did not let it fluster too high.

Aaron could hear Mandy clear her throat, making him turn his head in her direction again. He wanted the chance to drink up her sight again as if she was a fine, aged bottle of wine. As he did, a pair of soft pink lips met his. Aaron was startled and severely perplexed. He closed his eyes and let the kiss slip. Before his lips could counteract enough to enjoy it, it had ended. His eyes quickly blinked open like a cat startled by the sound of a pot dropping. He looked at Mandy who had a gentle grin covering her face. "Happy birthday... just in case I forgot." she gave an excuse for her kiss. Aaron felt a little weak in the knees. He was looping through circles on the inside while trying to remain calm on the outside. He sensed that any minute he would go out of control. "Th-Than-Thank you." Aaron stuttered out. He was appreciative, more than Mandy knew of. Her pink lips smiled at him with infancy bliss.

"Hey kids! You're on!" an engineer shouted to them. Mandy and Aaron jumped with shock. They looked at each other and then began to laugh. "That was our cue." Aaron stated, trying to begin their walk for the stage. Mandy nodded quickly and then squeezed Aaron's hand a little tighter. She and Aaron walked from behind the curtains and onto the intricate stage.

It was another commercial break before 'N Sync was introduced to the stage and audience by Kathy Griffin and Adam Corolla. They all walked with proud expressions while 'Saw It Coming' rattled in the background. They wore leather and black outfits. They wanted to be noticed with their gear. Justin led the pack, struggling to make it to the podium. He was followed by his colleagues who did not rush to get to the podium. Justin glanced around himself as they all finally surrounded him at the podium. He toyed with his goatee, looking for friends and family in the crowd. Justin spotted his mother sitting with Mandy, Jenny and Veronica. He smiled at the camera and then edged out to the microphone. "Well as far as we know... and I guess right now, we're known as 'N Sync. I can't say much for later on." Justin commented. He took a brief look around to his friends who agreed in a subtle and silent way. Justin turned his face back to the camera. "But anyway... everyone knows we love women!" Justin stated boldly. He stepped back and let his friends finish their introduction. "We love good looking women." Joey added, smiling devilishly. Joey took a step back to where Justin was. Justin smirked at him, knowing Joey spoke his words out of experience. "Especially women that can sing the Meaty Cheese song." Chris said in a flat voice, mildly joking on the parody used against them. "So naturally we love all the women in this category." Lance said with a bubbly voice. It shocked his friends, used to Lance's low-key style. Lance looked at them, seeing their surprised stares. He shrugged and moved back. "So here are the nominees for the Best Female Artist of the Year category." J.C. finished their intro when he stepped up.

After J.C. spoke, the video montage began. The audience watched as the screen showed clips of Shania Twain, Cher, Britney Spears and Whitney Houston. Everyone's eyes turned back to the podium while 'N Sync watched J.C. attempt to open the award ballot. "And the winner is..." J.C. started, finally pulling open the ballot. He looked up and faked a smile for the camera. Some could read the hint of disappointment in his face. "Britney Spears." he said in a nasally voice. He was disgruntled by reading the winner.

J.C.'s band members began to clap with the announcement, as did the crowd. They all watched Britney rise from her seat and thank their manager, Johnny Wright with a hug and a small kiss. It was disappointing to see Johnny choose sides by sitting with one of his acts, Britney Spears, at the show and not his other acts like 'N Sync and Blaque. The boys took it in stride as Britney took her time to walk up the difficult steps. Her body accenting purple dress flowed with the rhythm of her walk. She had reason to be proud. Britney was able to beat out three women who had made history within the music field. Now she was going to be added to the list. And Britney did it within a year's time. The excitement of the moment prevented Britney from hearing the announcer divulge the fact that Britney had won in three other categories. She tried to absorb the feeling of knowing she had at least won one award.

Britney's emotions were tugged in slightly different direction when she saw Justin and Joey standing directly next to each other on the stage. 'Damn.' Britney thought, seeing the two. She evaded any form of contact with Justin, including eye contact. She believed it was her only escape from her musing. She feared her own emotions rather than that of the crowd. Justin gave her an odd stare. 'What's the deal?' he thought as he watched her. Britney purposely moved to Joey first and grasped one of her awards. She leaned over to him and let him place a small kiss on her cheek. This brought upon a coo from some of the crowd members and more noise from the fans that were in the balcony of the auditorium. Britney ignored any negative shouts. She knew they would just bring down her positive feeling. She moved onto Lance, who congratulated her with a loud grin and another award. Britney giggled at his immense joy. She waved to Chris, but then she ignored J.C. She sensed a conflict between the two was brewing and she refused to give into J.C. She bypassed him and then moved back to the podium where two more of her awards awaited her.

Britney brushed back her hair and smiled widely. "Wow... thank you. Oh my gosh, this is so sweet. I'm honored. I don't know what to say." Britney stated, feeling overwhelmed with the audience's response to ger victory. The guys of 'N Sync made small conversation as she collected her thoughts. Justin watched her with a careful eye. He was suspicous, but did not let J.C. catch onto it. "Gosh... well I want to start by thanking Billboard for giving me these awards. I want to thank the best label there is out there... Jive Records. Thank you everyone there. I have to thank my manager Johnny Wright for supporting me always and showing me the right things to do." Britney stated, pulling out an applause from 'N Sync and the crowd. "Make sure to thank your 'do boy' boyfriend." Justin whispered to J.C. in joking terms. J.C. smiled and laughed lightly. "He does kiss ass well." J.C. agreed. "I want to thank my family for standing by me, no matter what. Thank you mommy and daddy. And thanks to the fans. All of you, you're great. And I want to thank God for showing me that you can do anything through Christ and that He's always there to help you through the hard times. You can do anything with God on your side." Britney became more poetic and serious with her words. She drew another set of ovation from some of the audience members. "Thanks so much. Love you Phat One and these are for you Aunt Sandra... thanks." Britney spoke up again, her voice lowering when she reached the end.

Britney received applause again, signaling her time for departure. She grasped two of her awards while Joey and Lance assisted her with the other two. Britney turned to face the other guys, searching for the way to exit the stage. She saw Justin staring at her and her eyes briskly dashed away from his. 'What?' Justin thought, seeing her fading smile. Britney walked up to stand next to Joey. 'Don't think about him.' Britney demanded of herself. She was trying to give her self the self-confidence to let history go instead of repeating it. For some reason, Innosense's song 'Still Thinkin' Of Him' ran through Britney's mind. It was too perfect for the situation. She walked by Joey's side toward the backstage with Lance and Chris following in conversation and J.C. and Justin remaining silent in the back with the escorts.

The show had ran overtime. Minutes were scarce and inestimable. Part of Metalica stood onstage explaining the situation and what had been cut from the shows line up due to time restraints. The audience sat calm, yet annoyed. They had already sat in the MGM Grand Hotel for almost two and a half hours and there was still one more award to be announced. They had suffered through Mariah Carey's babblings about how 'free' she was and DMX's poetic prayer. Now they were being forced to endure the announcement of another award. They tried to figure out how many awards Billboard could come up with in one night. With such awards as Album of the Year, the Century Award, Artist of the Decade and other pointless awards, it was a wonder what was next. "So the nominees for Artist of the Year are..." the declaration began. Names including the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears and others came falling off lips. "And the winner is... they're cute, they're sexy... the Backstreet Boys." the winner was read with a small section of ad-libbing. The producers knew that time could have been saved, but Metalica did not abide the rules.

The sounds of 'The One' filled with auditorium while members of the Backstreet Boys and Nikki leaped from their seats. More calm members like Brian and Kevin easily stood from their seats, trying not to act arrogant. Once again, they felt the prestige of standing above many other musical acts. Kevin gave Nikki a small hug, feeling confident that he would be able to speak again. Brian was dazed and confused for a second. He turned to his left and then congratulated Kevin with a large hug. "Congrats Brian... you earned this, bro'." Kevin whispered to his young cousin, making an amends for things he may have said in the past. Bitter feelings were pushed aside in that moment. Thoughts on sex before marriage, girlfriends, marriage and even life in general were forgotten by the two. Brian smiled profoundly. "You earned it too cuz... we all earned this one." Brian responded, filled with joy. He slipped from the hug, gazing past his cousin to try and see the other side of the auditorium. He wanted to catch a glimpse of Justin before walking toward the stage.

Nick yanked Danay up into his arms for a hug. She laughed and hugged him back. Howie eyed the two with jealousy. 'Why didn't she hug me like that?' Howie brooded, his face angred. He lost sight of the victory when seeing that he could not have all that he wanted. "We won!" A.J. shouted, grasping Nick and pulling him along. Nick jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. The two were honored by the long standing applause. "I wish Panda was here to see this." A.J. spoke into Nick's ear while ending their hug. "I'm sure she would have been just as excited as the rest of us are. In fact, she probably is jumping up for joy at home." Nick assured him, throwing an arm around A.J.'s shoulders. Nick grinned. A.J. nodded and then began to feel Nick dragging him toward the stage. A.J, stumbled, but then caught his balance. They were tailing behind their friends.

Brian and Kevin once again led the way to the stage. The others let Kevin step up so he could speak his speech. A.J. settled himself while Nick never let his excitement fade. Nick grasped Brian's arm and pulled him into a bear hug. "Congratulations Rok!" Nick said under his breath while hugging Brian. Brian laughed, trying to pull away from the hug. "Thanks Frack." Brian responded verbally. He patted Nick's back and then exited the hug. They both could still hear Kevin talking. They stood near each other for a minute and tried to listen to a few things that Kevin said. It was clear to both of them that Kevin was just repeating the basic 'thank you' speech that they had already shared with the Billboard audience earlier that night.

Brian walked over to A.J. and placed his arm around A.J.'s shoulder with a smile. "We rock dude." A.J. commented, a grin skating across his lips. Brian nodded, smiling widely. "But Kev' needs to hurry up." Brian whispered, trying to prevent his cousin from hearing him. "He's a prick like that." A.J. sighed, gazing out to the crowd. Brian felt the laughter develop in his stomach, but he silenced it there. He couldn't afford any unwanted attention, though he knew A.J. loved it. A.J. gave a little howl of success, alluring some of the fans' attention. Brian laughed and then searched the crowd again. A.J. watched him. 'He's right there silly.' A.J. thought to himself as he stared at what Brian was looking for. Brian's silvery blue eyes spotted his home of affection. He lifted his hand and waved with his index finger. He received a smile and then smiled back. "Aaawww... how cute." A.J. whispered to Brian. They both heard Kevin mention The Firm, causing them to clap for feeing free of burden with their new management team. Brian nodded toward A.J.'s previous remark, licking his lips. "Somebody's getting laid tonight." A.J. snickered to Brian, causing Brian to casually push him away and laugh. Brian chewed the gum that sat in his mouth, contemplating A.J.'s words. 'Hmmm... maybe.' Brian deliberated on the concept. He crossed his arms and smiled harmlessly.

Time was dragging on and Brian was becoming tired. He looked down at his watch and saw time was actually moving slower than he thought. He unfolded his arms and walked up to Kevin. He tapped him to remind him they were short for time. Kevin glanced over at Brian, trying not to lose his concentration. He pierced through Brian with annoyance and then went back to his speech. 'Oh yeah, too good to be true.' Brian thought, shaking his head and walking back. He did not let his spirit get restless because of Kevin. Brian had learned that he and his cousin were proficient at ruffling each other's feathers. Brian attempted to remain placcid and take the speeches in stride. He watched Howie step up, signaling another long movement of talking. He wanted to sigh and give some sign of disturbance to cut everything short, but he felt it was wrong. He simply folded his arms again and looked over to Nick.

The Billboard Awards ceremony was over. The guests were crowding the lobby and the outside parking lots. While some prepared to catch red eye flights home or to their next stop, others got ready to attend the after parties that were being held around town. No awards show was ever complete without an after party. That is what the Backstreet Boys planned on making their next step to as they posed for press pictures at the small conference area backstage. It was their second visit to the area that night, being that they made that grand walk to the podium to accept their awards more than once.

"Are you leaving Jive Records or is 'N Sync leaving Jive Records?" a reporter called out to them. They all looked at each other to see who would step up first to the question. Nick was the shy one and stepped back. He decided to keep his feelings quiet on the predicament. Howie moved up to the small microphone to answer the question, halting any movement that Brian and A.J. were beginning. "Uhm, as of right now, neiter of us are leaving Jive. We just worked out a new contract with Jive and are staying with the label. We're happy with Jive." Howie made sure to make any ammends with the label in his words. "But as for 'N Sync... we are not totally clear on their situation as of right now and have no comment toward it." Howie replied with a serious expression. He gave the reporters the stare that demanded no rebuttle.

"Do you guys have any animosity toward the guys for joining the label? Has this broken up any friendships?" another reporter questioned from the back. Brian eyed the reporter in disbelief. A.J. tilted his cowboy hat down, letting someone else answer the inquiry. Kevin walked up to the mic while Howie stood inflexible near it. Kevin cleared his throat lowly. He looked up and saw the flashing lights beckoning him for a smile. He refused. "We don't have any animosity toward the guys... but we're indifferent towards some of the people behind the scenes. It has been a strain on our career as well as 'N Sync's. We're just trying to rid ourselves of it and let things work their course." Kevin said clearly and with a raised voice. He refused to let the small conference turn into a battle of the boy bands or a tabloid cover story.

Brian eased his body to the side and then made a strategic move to get near the microphone. "There's some adjusting to do, but the Backstreet Boys are pretty much clear from worry. This whole situation has been an anxiety for all of us... but we're trying to remain positive about it. As long as everyone attends to their affairs, we don't see any problems brewing between us and 'N Sync. It hasn't affected any of our friendships with each other or the guys of 'N Sync." Brian said, his thick country accent gliding into the microphone. His chisled cheeks spread for a small grin. He licked his thin, snowy pink lips. The camera's loved him like they loved James Dean. He was without fault in the lense.

"One more question guys... are you guys enjoying your love lives as of now? Are you going to have time off to spend with that special someone during the Christmas holiday?" a female reporter asked. It was a biased question. The Boys recognized her from Tiger Beat magazine. Howie looked over to Kevin, trying to let him initiate the response. Kevin was busy looking around the audience for familiar faces. Nick shimmied to the front and placed his hand on Kevin's shoulder. "We have the rest of this month off and we're going to take that time to relax. I'm going to see my family again around Christmas." Nick spoke up for the first time. Howie eased in front of Kevin and smiled at Nick. "We're all going to be with family during the holidays... most likely." Howie added, trying to make it simpler for Kevin, Brian and A.J. to give a response. "Pretty much. But I'm sure my girlfriend will be there." A.J. agreed, his husky voice speaking up from the back.

The reporters made sure that they each got their piece of the interview to quote from in their articles. They cashed in on the value of the Backstreet Boys. Kevin looked over to security to make sure they would have a safe passage out. "Thank you all for your questions and we're sorry if we didn't get to all of them." Kevin stated, trying to push his frinds toward security as he did. Howie's eyes traced along the side to see the small batch of seucrity that awaited them and their exit. "Thanks for coming!" Nick bellowed out as he walked away next to Brian. Brian waved to the reporters and continued his stroll with Nick. Kevin was the last standing on the small platform, trying to spot Nikki in the group of security. He was unable to find her with his eyes. The view was clouded by glaring lights and masses of people. He grimaced with frustration. "Kevin, come on man!" A.J. shouted out to him. Kevin peered to the crowd again and saw his friends lingering because of his sluggish conduct. Kevin remained reluctant about his reasons for lagging behind. He wholly sauntered off the platform and made his way through the crowd his ensemble stood in.

The Backstreet Boys were escorted out a side outlet of the building. They bypassed the lobby where the upper echelon still conversed on neutral terms. The group with the Backstreet Boys in it walked in a tight-knit unit. Security walked by their sides while Nikki and Danay were the only outside socialites allowed within the group. The management representative and P.R. delegate walked at the head of the assembly. The resonance of a cellular phone interrupted their smooth transition through the outside. Each of the Backstreet Boys searched their pockets for their cellular phone, fearing it was theirs causing the break of coordination. "It's mine ya'll!" A.J. called out, flipping his cell phone open. The others refrained from exploring their pockets any further for their phones.

The pack continued their walk as A.J. spoke on his phone. "Hey mom, what's up? Did you see us? We won mom!" A.J. boasted, his vigorous grin becoming a spotlight of the night. He covered his left ear with his hand while trying to hear her with his right ear. "Alex... honey, I saw you. I'm not calling about that though." Denise McLean, A.J.'s mother, replied in a somber pitch. A.J. tried to piece together her sudden grave tone. "Well what's wrong mom?" A.J. asked calmly, keeping his pace with the guys. He felt no concern as to what could be disconcerting his mother. He went with instinct that told him it would be a minor problem. With no apprehensions to what may have been wrong, A.J. looked up to where security led them. They were once again going to have to cross the path of reporters and some fans as they took a detour across the red carpet toward the area their limousine was stationed at. "A.J., baby, you have to listen to me. You have to catch a flight back to Orlando as soon as possible. I mean quickly." Denise stated, her voice shaking. A.J. cocked his eyebrow up and slowed himself. "Why mom? It's like eleven or something here... which means it has to be like one or two in Florida. Is something wrong? Is everyone there okay?" A.J. asked, still trying to decipher his mother's words. His speaking brought on a little bit of attention from Nikki and Howie. Howie slowed himself to stay near A.J. and then descended over to him to hear a piece of the conversation. "What's wrong A..." before Howie could get the rest of his words out, A.J. lifted his hand and placed it directly in front of Howie's face. He was signaling Howie to be quiet. A.J. needed silence to hear his mother's words. With that gesture, Nikki interpreted the graveness of the situation. Something was wrong at home and she and the others were left in the dark as to what.

A.J. kept his ear close to the phone. Cellular phones were difficult to keep a solid convresation with due to the airy atmosphere they were used it. Nothing was too clear or too perfect with their use. A.J. listened sharply to the sounds in the background of his call from his mother. He could hear people talking and things being moved around. "Alex, I don't have a lot of time to explain this to you on the phone. Just get home to Orlando and go to the Florida Hospital." Denise rushed out her words. A.J. felt something inside of him sink. "The hospital!" A.J. barked into the phone, gathering any information he could get. His loud voice brought on more eyes from Kevin and Brian. "A.J., what's wrong? What's up?" Kevin asked with his paternal voice. "Yeah dude, what's going on?" Howie nudged A.J. while he spoke. Curiosity was brewing through the group. "Will all of ya'll just shut the fuck up! I can't hear my mom." A.J. snapped while raising his head. He did not look one person in the eye, but his facial expression spoke for him. He was angred and distressed. He was also confused. Eyes watched him with surprise. He was now the center of attention for the group. A.J. was also slowing everyone else in their walk.

A.J. leaned away from the group and edged near the line the security guards had made for protection. "A.J., please don't get upset. I just need you to get back here right now. Tell the guys you'll see them at home or whatever. This is more significant." Denise pleaded with him. She was not ending her conversation with her son until she had convinced him to return home. Her tone remained calm for the moment. "Why mom?! What's more significant right now? What the hell is going on in Orlando?" A.J. asked. His mother knew the harsh tone meant that A.J. was stressed and disoriented. She could not find the words to explain to her son the present predicament. She only knew that it was crucial for him to return home.

"It's Amanda." Denise said softly. She wanted to withhold the name for as long as possible. The moment had finally reached her and it was her last resort. When the name reached A.J.'s ear, he stopped in his tracks. He was alone. It was not only physically, but emotionally. 'Not Amanda.' A.J. thought, his heart increasing the speed in which it beated. Knowing that something could be wrong with Amanda would send A.J. into a place he could not handle. With the manner in which his mother spoke, A.J. knew some thing was seriously wrong with his lover.

Howie was the first to notice A.J.'s stop and then Nikki and Kevin followed. They each stopped their walked, followed by a few security officers. "What's wrong A.J.? You've gotta tell us." Howie demanded from where he stood. A.J.'s eyes were closed and his body was rigid. He couldn't speak up to Howie. Suddenly the true effects of winter ran over him. He felt his blood turn cold causing him to shiver. Nikki began to promenade back to where he had stopped. She feared for her friend's condition. "What's wrong Bone? What's going on back home?" Nikki asked urgently. Her boyfriend watched her true motherly aspect as she walked back to A.J. He allowed her the time she needed to attend to him while he called the others back.

"Alex? A.J.? A.J., sweetie, listen to me!" Denise called into the phone. A.J. held the phone to his ear, but he was dumb to the actual situation. "Mom... did she have the baby?" A.J. asked in a low, raspy voice. Nikki reached A.J. with apprehension circling her emerald eyes. "No, she didn't have the baby. A.J., you need to get home. Amanda... she almost went into labor I think. I'm not sure, but I have to check with the doctors on her situation." Denise's words flowed hastier and less sluggish. She was unable to handle the things that were being thrown at her during the time period. A.J. could only feel the pain and cold that rippled through his body. Emotions of relief died halfway through the conversation. All that remained was fear. "Well is she okay? Is my Panda going to be okay?" A.J. asked quickly, raising his voice. Nikki's face grew pale and sad. 'Oh no... what's wrong with Manda?' she contemplated while watching all of A.J.'s facial expressions. She could only hear the conversation through expressions he made. "A.J., she's fine as far as I know. The ambulance checked her in here and I've been making sure they keep a low profile on her. I just don't know what to do. I'm not sure if she's going to have the baby... if maybe it was just a false alarm... or maybe she's not going to have the baby... maybe she's just stressed out and in labor or... what if she's miscarrying..." Denise let her words out without reasoning. It was as if she had lost touch with who she was speaking to. She was just letting out thoughts that had crossed her mind. Deliberations she feared as a mother herself. She wanted to be a grandmother and be able to show all of her friends pictures of her grandchil that was produced by his son. Now she was unsure if she would get that chance. She was stuck. The worst part was that A.J. now knew what his mother feared. She knew the greatest fear you could bring to a child is letting them hear what their parents greatest fear was. It only led to further disaster.

A.J. felt a rush of emotion sweep over his cold body. "No... no, no! Oh fuck, that better not be it, mom. Mom, you have to find out if she's okay. You have to make sure my Panda and my child are okay." A.J. demanded. A.J. began to pace around while speaking with his mother. His frail body was not filled with life. It was moving without A.J.'s command. He sniffled and kept his eyes to the ground. He forgot that any of his friends existed. The only thing that mattered was A.J.

"Hey Marc... go up ahead and make sure nobody comes this way. Jeff, follow me to the limo and let's pick them up here." the management rep gave out orders and people began to move. Nick and Howie began a stroll toward A.J. for their own curiosity and hunger. Kevin grabbed Nick's shoulder and whistled for Howie. "Don't crowd him ya'll. Just let him be." Kevin advised. He held Nick still and waited to see if Howie would disobey him. Howie stayed motionless. Kevin kept his eyes on Howie. He was now in charge and wouldn't let any other problems follow.

"Listen A.J., you have to calm down for a second. I'm doing all that I can at this time. You know I am son." Denise insisted. She could ot deal with the burden of having her son losing his mind in Las Vegas while his girlfriend could be losing their child in Orlando. A.J. felt another string of cuss words developing in his throat. He strained to remain calm. It was not working. He was beyond his normal capability. "I'm going to call the airport right now mom. I'll catch the best flight I can back to O-Town." A.J. said briskly. He had to end his conversation with her. He could not handle another announcement from her. She was his mother, but she also became the barrier of bad news for the Backstreet Boys. First Brian, now A.J. It was a burden for everyone. "Okay... uhm, I'm going to call Lynn and let her know what's going on. I already called Amanda's parents. So... well just get home." Denise began to stumble over her words. A.J. sighed into the phone, feeling exhausted from just one conversation. "I'll be home soon mom." A.J. said softly, drawing out their dreadful adieu. Denise let the seconds pass to try and calm both of their dispositions. "She needs you A.J. Please get home soon." Denise added with a tranquil voice. A.J. felt all of the pressure and stress building on him. It was painting an illustration with A.J. as the ivory gallant that rescues Amanda from the mythical serpent.

"Tell her I love her mom... and to hold on. I'm on my way." A.J. requested. He required a clear mind, but he was not achieving it. A.J. pressed the end button on his cell phone before his mother's okay was fully out. He needed peace. Just a little peace to help him get control over his own emotions. He found it when an arm fell around his shoulders. "What's up Alex?" Nikki asked in a sincere way. A.J. sighed softly. He pulled off his sunglasses and clinched them in his hands. "Manda's in the hospital." A.J. responded, his naturally raspy voice returning to him. Nikki felt the dread in the way A.J. expressed himself. Amanda was a close friend of Nikki's. She wanted to be there for Amanda at any cost. "Is she going to be okay?" Nikki questioned, trying to pry but in a subtle way. A.J. felt the wind rush over him and the stars beat down upon him. "I... I don't know Nik. All I know is that... she's in the hospital and I have to get home." A.J. gushed out. He was becoming physically drained. His face was now doughy and his stance was precarious. A void was growing within him.

Nikki pulled A.J. closer to her and began to make him walk down the area they were secured in. "Come on Bone, we'll get you home." Nikki whispered into A.J.'s ear. She strived to make A.J. at ease with his quandary. Kevin placed his hands on his hips and left his elbows akimbo. There was an inkling of resentfulness and distrust sweeping through Kevin's tall, slim body. He tried to bring his focal point to a new spectacle. It was pointless for him to watch his girlfriend and find envy in A.J.

Brian stood near a wall watching A.J. explain his situation to Jeff, the P.R. representative and Michael, the representative from the Firm. He was fatigued and feeling sick. Without being able to consume much food during the day, he was without the strength to deal with a night of partying or high class fraternizing. His wash blue eyes were heavy and endless. He rubbed his hand over his well defined cheek, trying to hold in a sigh. Brian felt his eyes drooping shut again as he stood there with the patience of a pyramid builder. The only thing he long for was to be able to stare into a pair of indigo eyes and see a lively smile again from his husband. Brian also contemplated a soft pillow to rest his head on, but the feeling wouldn't be complete without Justin's head sleeping on his chest.

Leaning near him was Danay who had also become restless in the wait. She was not unsettled because she was weary. Danay was uneasy because she had no knowledge on the status of her friend, Amanda Latona. Her selfish feelings took over when she felt deprived of enlightenment that even Amanda's boyfriend did not know of. Her incensed emotions made her squeeze her hands shut and her face drawn in an illimitable look of irritation. Danay tried to urge herself to call Ms. McLean and find out the condition of her friend. She withheld herself though. She felt it would be pushy of her to take such a drastic step.

Danay watched Nikki stay as solid as a rock by A.J.'s side, trying to convince the authorities to allow A.J. and the others a time to leave. Danay sympathized for A.J. at times. She did not know the demand of public appearance like the Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync did. Innosense was a small name in the music business and nothing was binding when it came to them. Danay was relieved for that privelege, even though she knew she did not have a loved one to rush home to like A.J. did. All she thought she had was a companion. Now that companion was nothing but an illusion to her eyes. Her heart began to comprehend the real honesty in Howie Dorough. It wasn't what she saw in Paris and it was what she despised in a man.

Danay felt an arm smooth around her shoulders and another ease around her waist. She struggled for a minute, looking for the face of the man that tried to warm her in the buoyant frosty climate. "It's kind of cold out here Danay. Tienes frio?" Danay heard a smooth accent flow into her ear. She rolled her eyes mercilessly. 'Why him?' she whispered in her mind. Feeling Howie's small arms wrapped around her now rebuffed her. "No hace frio." Danay responded hastily. She jerked away from Howie and fixed her clothing. Howie wrinkled his brow. "What did I do to you?" he asked, showing signs of hostility. Danay ignored him and walked up to Brian. "Don't just walk away Danay. We're both adults, so let's be a little more civil about this." Howie demanded of her. Danay caught Brian staring at her before she spun around on her heels to gaze at Howie. Her dark brown eyes gave Howie no repose. "Qu‚ pasa?" Howie asked. He raised his arms, trying to signal to her that he was confused. Danay did not lighten her expression for him. She arched one of her Cimmerian eyebrows and let her lower lip hang out. She let a sigh part her thick lips and then she sucked them tight again. "You want to know what's wrong? Howie D wants to know what's wrong with me? Well D, I'm honored that you actually care about me that much." Danay said with a bold and bitter tongue. Howie was intrigued by her challenge. "I mean gee Howie, aren't I just another girl on your list? Just another 'date' for you?" Danay asked, trying to put emphasis on her words.

Howie, before long, began to realize what Danay's backlash was for. It was her way of getting revenge for his past infantile words. Howie held his head high, trying not to show his shame to her or Brian. Brian saw that Howie spotted him staring, causing Brian's eyes to drift over to Nikki and A.J. "Well? Are you finally out of words? Maybe you're thinking about the next girl you can wine and dine and not give any time." Danay snapped toward him. Howie wrinkled his brow. He disapproved of Danay's public degradation. He wanted to take a much higher route. He raised his head and sighed. "Is that what you think? You'd bring yourself to these low standards just to say that you're jealous that you have not received the full quantity of my attention tonight?" Howie took his own sip from the revenge cup. He loved the way the bitter flow seeped down his throat. Danay did not take highly to his words. It brought upon more disinclination within her body. Howie smiled, feeling conquest running through his lips. He placed his hands on his hips and awaited to see if her comeback was worth his choice in words.

Danay let her lips curl before she smiled. "Of course Howie. I mean all the girls can't be as lucky as me. I see all of them falling over Howie everyday and it just pissing me off. Damn, so many girls to compete with too. All of those bigs signs beating out the ones that say, 'I love Nick' and 'I love Brian'. It's a good thing that Nick and Brian like guys... otherwise you might not have one number in your little black book. And might I say, it is very little." Danay purred, feeling spite fade into pleasure as she brought Howie down another level. She took a new stance of freedom, still grinning at him. Brian ducked his head trying to prevent Howie from seeing his face of laughter. The way Danay was able to match Howie at his own game was hilarious to Brian. To Brian, Howie invented the game of acrimonious insults. Now Howie was being challenged on a more elevated level. Danay raised her index finger and pressed it over her lips to signal Howie to silence any further comments. Howie eyed her, his shame taking over his face. Danay glimmered.

Brian raised his head again to find out what had become of A.J. and Nikki's battle to leave for Orlando. His eyes looked around and saw that everyone remained neutral in their movement. He kept his mind from drifting to Justin while trying to resolve his decisions. He needed to decide what he was going to do if A.J. did return to Orlando. He had his own reasons for returning to Orlando that did not include Justin. He learned to live with his selfish ways for the time being. 'Soon... soon enough this business with Justin will be finished and everyone will be happy... hopefully.' Brian thought to himself.

Nikki was walking over to where Brian and Danay stood. while A.J. had disappeared from all view. Brian stand still while Danay moved closer to him so that she could hear what Nikki had to say. Nikki gave them both a straight face. She was not settled nor was she jittery. She was just Nikki. Danay knew the way Nikki presented herself. She sensed that Nikki's calm, yet silent demeanor meant there were benefits and consequences to what was discussed between A.J., Nikki and the rep's. "What's up Nik?" Danay asked without worry. She had prepared herself to handle what was necessary in the music business. She knew that one must always be ready for hardships. Nikki nibbled her lower lip, pulling her view from Brian to Danay. "Well we convinced them to let us have our time off and get home if we want. Uhm, Lynn's already booking flights for me, you and the other girls. I think A.J.'s trying to get a flight home too." Nikki stated to Danay. Brian took the news as a sign of good fortune while Danay remained impassible. "What's the bad news Nikki?" Danay asked with a broad tone. Nikki took her lips in and licked them. She knew that Danay was a very percetable woman. Danay always looked past the rainbow to see if any storms remained to come. "Well... on one side, some of the guys have to stay here in Vegas for the party and all. It's pretty much required. They have to make public appearances around here for their own notoriety. Then again it's the guys' choice. As long as two stay here, three can go home." Nikki replied to Danay's request in a slightly altered way. Brian smiled again with the benefits. He was pleased. Danay gave a small smile, but felt something else was hidden in Nikki's dim, green eyes.

"And who's the lucky boys that are staying?" Brian asked, taking Nikki's eyes from Danay's examination. "Well Justin and J.C. are leaving. I think the others are going to stay though. Britney's staying, so I know Joey's staying. And since Meelah's here... Chris'll probably be here too. And you know Lance is always a so-so." Nikki replied with the little knowledge she had. Brian nodded, making his decision through the information she gave him.

"And from us?" Brian asked with a lilthing voice. Nikki looked over her shoulder to where Nick and Kevin stood. Brian watched her turn her face and he too looked at what she stared at. "Kev' and Nickie?" Brian asked with his low, Southern drawl. Nikki turned back to Brian. "No, uhm I think Kevin's coming back to Orlando. You know, just to support A.J. and all. I'm pretty sure Nick's staying though." Nikki responded, a hint of chipperness running through her voice. She ended her smile when looking over at Danay. Danay eyed her with the kindest intentions. "And..." Niki began to draw her words out. Danay rolled her eyes and laughed sorely. "If you think I'm going to get mad or upset that his fraudulent butt is staying here, you've got another thing coming Ashlee DeLoach." Danay spoke with a twisting tongue and a well-established smile. Nikki gave her a crooked smile. She was lost. Brian simply laughed loudly at her, reliving the 'battle' between Danay and Howie in his mind. "Long story, Foxy." Brian giggled, placing his hand on her back. Nikki heard Danay begin to laugh incorrigibly. "A rather funny story too." Danay cackled. Nikki divided her attention between glaring at both laughing parties. "I think I'm lost." Nikki managed to say while they entertained themselves. "Pretty much." Brian agreed, laughing a little louder.

Nikki shrugged her shoulders and watched Nick and Kevin while Brian and Danay finished their laugh. Danay embraced the night. She opened her eyes wide again and brought her eyes to Nick and Kevin, two-thirds of the Backstreet Boys. She then looked to Nikki and saw a twinkle in Nikki's eyes. As fairy tale as it may have seemed, Danay saw a blush in Nikki's cheek and she could easily see the euphoric feelings in Nikki's lips. Danay could only compare Nikki to one other friend she knew. Her reference tool was Brian. Each time Danay watched Brian around Justin, she saw nothing but exalted and overdue happiness. Now Danay could see that in the eys and demeanor of her close friend, Nikki. When she placed the two side-by-side, she could effortlessly see why Elizabeth Barrett-Browning wrote her sonnet. Love had an amazing impact on the way someone was. Danay only longed for that same romance to develop in her life. As elementary as it was, Danay could feel bitter toward Nikki and Brian for being younger than her and in love. Danay, however, disregard the trifling emotion and searched for a more meaningful one. One that would truly bring her the love she yearned for.

Danay deposited her hand onto Nikki's round, tan shoulder. Nikki kept her eyes forward for a moment, watching Kevin kid with Nick. Nikki observed their child-like behavior. They were truly like brothers with Kevin being the eldest and Nick being the youngest. It was a picture not yet taken in a book of memories not yet sewn. Nikki finally loked back to Danay, trying to hide her fervent smile. Danay shot her a wild smile, watching the lights dance in Nikki's eyes. "Were you watching your white knight, Nik?" Danay asked with whimsical brown eyes. Nikki's cheeks went from a light red shade to a deep, tomato red hue. "No." she quickly said, feeling embarassed. Danay began to snicker at Nikki. Brian brought his attention to them. 'They're still high school girls.' Brian joked to himself, watching their childish play. "Oh admit it Nikki. You were staring at him as if he was Sir Lancelot coming to save the lady in waiting from the evil dragon." Danay gushed out. Nikki shook her head. She was slipping beyond embarrassment. "Danay, please stay out of those Harlequin novels, will ya?" Nikki requested, seeing two long-stretch, black limousines pull up near the security guards.

"Okay, those of you heading to the hotel and then the airport, hop in the limo on the left. The rest of you that are going back to the after party, get into the limo on the right. We don't have much time people... and we're running way behind schedule. So please, let's go!" Michael called out. His demanding voice caused things to move quickly in the area. A.J. was the first to reappear and then disappear into the limo on the left. Danay and Nikki quickly followed him. Danay allowed Nikki to step in first as she watched Howie get into the limo on the right. 'Yep, it's over.' Danay thought, watching him ignore her presence as he got into the limousine. "Are you coming Mama D?" A.J. called to her while she leaned on the limo door. She tried to peer into the tinted windows of the opposite limousine, but she was unsuccessful. A sigh broke from her delicate lips. "Yeah... I'm coming ya'll." she replied, her face frowning. She slipped into the limo and hid her face.

Brian and Nick walked toward the limos together. "Kind of mention to Josh that I'd like him to call me, okay?" Nick requested. Brian looked over to Nick with suspicion. "What makes you think J.C. is going back to Orlando?" Brian asked. Nick used his hand to pull his golden locks back and he frowned. "I talked to Nikki. She said that Justin and J.C. were going back to Orlando with Lynn." Nick said in a clear voice. Brian nodded, feeling a little guilty that he couldn't help bring J.C. and Nick closer after their time apart. "Well I'll be sure to have him call you, Nick." Brian agreed to Nick's appeal. Nick gave him a small, debonair smile. "Thanks B-Rok." Nick chimed, playfully punching Brian's shoulder. Brian could tell that he and Nick were slowly turning back the hands of time to bring their rfiendship back tot he status it was before romance entered either of their lives. "Anytime Frack old boy. Anytime." Brian responded softly as they took their separate limos. "Tell that squirthead of yours I said 'Hey'!" Nick yelled to Brian as Brian was about to dunk his head into the car. Brian grinned sidely. "I'll be sure to mention that to him!" Brian bellowed back. Nick waved to him and then winked. Brian winked back at him, feeling butterflies hit his stomach. He sighed cautiously and then fell into the limousine.

"Squirthead?" Brian's smile was interrupted by Nikki's inquiry. Brian's shimmering eyes looked over to his friends. The three friends stare at him with suspicion. "Oh yeah... uhm, that's uh... uh, Nickie's... uhm Nick's name for... for my... husband." Brian's stuttering was strong, showing guilt. His face dawned a new shade of crimson and he quickly looked away from everyone. "What a cute name for Justin." A.J. commented, trying to let Brian sit in peace. He had the strongest convictions in his mind. His eyes spoke morethan his lips did, but Brian was deaf and blind to every thing that came from A.J.

Kevin and a security guard were the last to make their way into the limo. Kevin took a seat next to Nikki, causing Danay and A.J. to make some room for him. A.J. sat uncomfortably near the door and Danay rested the weight her body on his. "This is... ugh, not the what I wanted." Danay hissed to A.J., accommodating to Kevin trying to be adjacent to his girlfriend. Neither Danay or A.J. were thrilled with the new seating arrangement. Danay scrunched her face with discomfort. She stared transversely from where she sat to see that Brian relaxed pleasantly in the seat he had with Marc, the security guard. He was beginning to stretch like a kitten, his face giving off his signs of exhaustion. Danay was resentful to the space Brian was alloted. "It's not exactly peaches and cream over here, Danay." A.J. grumbled, trying to look out the window for a way out of his discomforting position. He sighed loudly, aggravated.

Danay kept her eyes on Brian. Her enviousness was vast. "Well Brian seems just as happy as can be over there." Danay complained, drawing Marc and Brian's attention. Brian's square jaw did not flex a smile. He was surprised at her straightfoward accusation. His chisled cheeks remained stiff. "Don't blame me for your inconvenience." Brian said. His hollow voice was carried in the silent limousine. He pressed his thin, pink lips back together and glanced over to his window. Danay wrinkled her brow and then settled her head on A.J.'s shoulder. She was still jealous. Nothing went the picture perfect way for her. "It's only because Brian has his own personal security guard, Danay." A.J. offered a form of remuneration. Marc cocked his eyebrow at A.J. "I'm Brian's 'personal security guard'?" Marc asked with surprise running through his deep voice. A.J. nodded without hesitance. He let Marc ogle at his cryptic reddish-brown eyes. "Okay, explain yourself McLean before I have to get vile with you." Marc demanded, hunching his body over to give A.J. a personal conversation. A.J. rubbed his nose and then smiled at Marc. He was always the member of the Backstreet Boys to play rebel with any authority. His goatee flexed as he grinned toward Marc. "Well it's just this easy... see all during the tour, you assisted Brian whenever he needed help. When Justin was on tour, well of course you were like their personal body guard. You walked with Justin wherever he needed to go. You made sure that none of the girls attacked Justin. And then you even escorted Brian and Justin to the dressing room after all of our dinners. Face it Marc, you're a personal bodyguard. You protect Brian at all costs." A.J. stated all of the factual information that came to him during his talking.

Brian leaned forward, intrigued by A.J.'s words. He smiled at A.J. in disbelief. Marc leaned back in his seat, keeping his straight face. He was not impressed by A.J.'s words. A.J. did not let Marc back away from the argument without his trademark grin of triumph. This angered Marc. "You must have forgotten then McLean... remember those times when Amanda came on tour? Before she was fully developed in her pregnancy, I used to keep her face from view. I escorted her everywhere. All of Europe, I was there by her seide to make sure she was okay. And I believe I escorted you two a couple of times from dinner to the dressing room." Marc shot back to A.J. A clamly smile formed over Brian's face. "I remember those days." Brian chimed. A.J. gave Brian a dead stare. He adjusted himself and then attempted to become commodious in his seat again. "He's still the Littrells' secret service." A.J. grumbled, lowering his head.

Marc gave him a cocky smile. Brian turned to his side and yawned softly. He was ready for a quick nap before they reached the hotel. His weary body agreed with his mind. "It's too bad Marc wasn't there that night Justin got shot. He might have been able to do one of those Clint Eastwood things." Kevin's presence was known when he spoke up with his joke. There were no snickers or laughs following his statement. The limousine stayed silent for minutes. He received an uneven glare from Danay and Marc. He scratched his beard and then turned away from them. Nikki peered at him with intended hostility. She was disgusted by her boyfriend's mockery.

A.J. was the only one who did not stare at Kevin. He watched Brian as if he was a photographer on a safari. His eyes captured each shot of Brian as he moved like a tiger. His hands were first, acting as the paws as they grasped Kevin's jacket. His mouth raged open with words that were unforgettable to anyone who sat in the car. "If you ever say something that disrespectful and disregardful about my husband, me, Marc or what happened that night again, I will rip your dick off and shove it down your fuckin' throat! Then I will cut open your stomach and watch your acid dissolve the fucker. Do you understand me?!" Brian growled at him. His eyes were filled with hate and fury. He was scorned and now his wrath was being released.

The movement of seats were just as distracting for A.J. as Nikki attempted to calm Brian while Danay reached for an exit of the line of fire. Marc was reaching across his space to grasp Brian. He began to yank Brian from Kevin. Kevin's face was of shock and indignation. "How dare you," Kevin hissed at Brian as Marc finally wrenched Brian's grip on Kevin. Marc forcefully sat Brian back into his seat, holding him down with his crute strength. "How dare I?! How dare I? How dare you offend me like that!" Brian barked at Kevin while he was being held down. Marc could see that the situation was beginning to become more than he could handle from the Boys. "Offend you? I have yet to offend you little cousin. I merely made a joke that you took offensively when it was in no way intended to be that way. Now if you want to act like an adolescent shithead, then I can treat you that way." Kevin scolded Brian from his seat. He fixed his clothing in the process. His fury was a cold-natured one. He held everything he knew over Brian without hesitation. It was in his blood. "Fuck you." Brian grumbled, jerking away from Marc. Marc turned back to Kevin and gave him a face that demanded silence. He could see in Kevin's glassy eyes that his facial expression would have no effect on the brooding man.

Nikki saw her need to step in and intervine in the conflict between the cousins. "Kev', let it go. Don't say anymore." Nikki insisted, pulling him back into his seat. Kevin drew down into his seat, his mouth ready to release more comments if Brian chose to continue the fight. Nikki saw that a hope for Brian and Kevin to be close again was further away than Antartica. It was depressing, but it was authentic. She burried her arms around Kevin's shoulders and strived to compose Kevin. "It's okay... it's over." Nikki whispered to Kevin. He kept his face contorted with anger. He was not satisfied with the stalemate between himself and Brian.

Danay crawled from her seat and took the position between Marc and Brian. She placed her hand on Brian's knee for assurance. "Just calm down Brian." she advised softly. Brian gripped his fist shut and looked out of the limo windows. He needed something to occupy his mind while he remained in the car with Kevin. He brushed his fingers through his soft, dirty brown hair. He closed his eyes and rested his chin on his arm. He sucked in his bottom lip. All of his actions never brought relief to him. They were actions he took when he was around Justin. Now he was without Justin, again.

Though they were binded by blood, they no longer looked at each other highly. Brian knew it. Brian could not handle Kevin's constant remarks toward his marriage and relationship with Justin. Though Brian had his own thoughts, disapproving thoughts from his cousin were no assistance. Brian once wanted to correct the obstacles in his and Kevin's relationship with each other. It was now at a hopeless point. Their usual Southern politeness did not apply to each other. It only added to the stress that surrounded Brian's life.

They had been home three hours. A portion of the Backstreet Boys, a fragment of 'N Sync, Lynn Harliss and Innosense had all been return to Orlando three hours previous. They had been at the hospital two hours and thirty minutes. Within that time period, it seemed that nothing was accomplished outside of being welcomed by Denise McLean. After the long stretch of time, A.J. was finally being allowed to see his girlfriend, Amanda Latona. It was the first time during the early morning that A.J. was being granted that permission. Amanda was suffering through tests and lack of sleep during the time that everyone remained in the waiting room. A whole hall of the hospital was sectioned off for Amanda. It was true, celebrities did take president over average civilians. It was a hidden rule.

The waiting room was a quiet room for everyone. Danay was sprawled on one couch, fully sleep. Her head was cushioned by a fluffy pillow that a nurse provided her with. She was weary from the night and did not attempt to remain awake if she could not visit Amanda immediately. It was not in her agenda.

Next to her were two cushiony seats that were occupied by Jenny Morris and Mandy Ashford. Mandy was taking a siesta uncomfortably in her chair while Jenny battled with her desire to sleep. Jenny kept her chin propped with her hand, watching the the television as a re-run of Dick Van Dyke entertained the silent room. Jenny was not amused. She only accompanied her friends to the hospital out of respect for their friend. She, however, did not show the same amount of undying care that they did.

In another corner of the room was another couch which was utilized by Kevin and Nikki. Kevin's head was resting in Nikki's lap as his body covered most of the couch. Nikki took a small space of the couch, sitting upright and tireless. She rubbed Kevin's temples while he too battled with fatigue. He was amazed at how his girlfriend was not lethargic. She was a trooper, unlike him. His weariness from exertion kept him from lingering on the subject. He chose to be mute until he was called upon.

Nikki looked over to a chair that was utilized by J.C. Chasez. J.C. was resting his head on the arm of the chair and his hands were tucked in his lap. Nikki regarded him in a fond sense. He was child-like in his sleep. She knew he enjoyed every minute of his relaxation. She projected her thoughts of guilt as she and Kevin occupied the couch while J.C. was stuck in a stiff chair.

Outside of the waiting room stood Veronica Finn and Lynn Harliss. Veronica was leaning against the wall, her mind in a daze. She was tired, but refused to succomb to desired feelings. Her feathery blonde hair was hidden under one of her ex-boyfriend's North Carolina hats. Her eyes were heavy and showed in detail when she was looked upon. She wanted to be awake and ready when any news broke about Amanda's condition. She could not plead with any nurses to allow her entrance into Amanda's room because none would hear the eighteen year old. She was insignificant to their mission. Lynn nevertheless had the authoritative voice and demeanor to control the nurses and doctors that crossed the hallway. She awaited her chance. She hook out her straight blonde hair and focused her blue eyes on the waiting room. Each member of her group was fighting to remain at the hospital, but the flight, the rush and travelling left them vulnerable.

Lynn forgave their lack of attentiveness while watching her son in the waiting room. The glow of the T.V. that her son and his husband sat next to made their movements severely clear to her. Her son, Justin Littrell, sat in a separate seat from his husband, Brian Littrell. Justin and Brian held hands and watched only each other. Justin had retired to his home to change his outfit from his leather look into a more fashionable look with a silvery, tight, button down shirt and a pair of dark gray sweat pants. The zipper at the bottom of each pant-leg remained zipped down. His untucked shirt was buttoned except for the first two buttons, exposing a black wife beater underneath. Brian was given little time to fluctuate in his appearance. He was only able to throw on a black tank top and dark blue jeans while at home. His head was covered with a blue and white Wildacts cap.

Even though they sat in separate chairs, Brian and Justin sat close. Brian was beginning to lean a little to the side. He was craving an excuse to rest his head on Justin's soft shoulder. He settled for his own exhaustion as a justification. His heavy eyes cried for rest, but Brian refused. He savored a chance to relax with Justin, fully awake. "You smell so nice babe." Brian hummed, letting his head dirft to Justin's shoulder. Justin watched him and leaned toward Brian to make his descent a little less complicated. He rubbed the tip of Brian's nose with his knuckle. "It's Armani." Justin whispered into Brian's ear. Brian yawned softly, his head making contct with Justin's shoulder enfin. "Well I don't want to know what you're wearing... I just said you smell nice silly." Brian giggled softly. Justin inspected the way Brian's nose scrunched when he laughed. It was lovable and charming to Justin. It was one of the numerous, humble things that Justin noticed and adored about Brian. "No you brat, I'm wearing Emporio Armani... the cologne." Justin snickered. Even as Justin laughed, it was still quiet so that he did not stir the others. Brian gasped with his mistake. "It's too early... or late or whatever for me." Brian tried to joke, causing Justin to laugh again. "I think so Bri." Justin agreed, brushing a hand over Brian's cheek.

Justin carefully removed Brian's cap from his head. He took in Brian's scent in the process. He ran his long fingers through Brian's fine, silky hair before kissing the top of Brian's head. He twirled his index finger in Brian's slightly curly hair. He could hear light breathing from Brian, signaling his sleep. Justin admired him like a baby. He saw no imperfections in him. It would have been scary to anyone to look upon some with that much affection, but Justin learned to handle fear in love. It was another task, but one Justin lovingly leaped over to remain close to his husband. He only wondered what Brian's thoughts were while he slept.

Bing Crosby would not have liked Amanda's hospital room. It was white, but it was not dreamy. It was basic and it was lifeless. Only man-made, automated machines told the story of a woman and her troubles. Amanda's frosty, cerulean eyes stared at the doorway to her room. Her left hand rested in it's regular position, on her stomach while her right hand toyed with the sheets on her bed. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail. She looked a little pale to her lover who stood in the entrance. Her pale pinks lips parted for her words. "In or out McLean." she stated without feeling. "What do you want me to do Panda?" A.J. asked, his smokey voice a silver bell to her ears. She gave him a face that screamed love. Her eyes brightened another shade and she stopped fiddling with her linen. "Well even though I pretty much look like hell... come in anyway." she said with a sparkly voice. A.J. smiled upon her and walked into the room.

He placed his hands behind his back and looked around the room. He knew that not even Santa Claus would want to visit such an misery-filled domain. His face was not framed by his trademark sunglasses. He remained in a plain look, fatigue preventing him from becoming too ostentatious. He had other reasons, including his desire not to be noticed while at the hospital. His tattoos were covered by the baggy jacket he wore and his hair covered in a white Fubu hat.

A.J. walked over to her with small steps. He tested the atmosphere to see if Amanda required her space. He did not want to be forceful or too affectionate. He felt it was a necessity for her to know he was there for her when she desired. She took the hints without their subtlty. 'Come on Alex.' Amanda said in her mind. She followed his example and did not liven herself for not potential reasons. She let her eyes fall upon the bed and stare at the sheets. She needed something to occupy her mind while her boyfriend loitered in caution.

A.J. could hear two distinct beeps within the room. The sounds attracted his ears and soon his eyes. His brown eyes found the source of the beeps. It was a machine. It was typical, but foreign to A.J. He had not spent much of his life locked away in hospitals. It was also something that was lifeless, cold and dreaded by Amanda. "What does that machine do?" A.J. asked, pointing it out for Amanda. His curiosity was unmatched. He also seeked conversation with her. Amanda looked up and followed the direction of A.J.'s slender finger. She looked at the small machine and sighed softly. Her hollow eyes glanced back to A.J. for her explaination. She rubbed her stomach with her left hand. It was a signifying gesture that left A.J. oblivious. "This machine monitors my heart rate... and the baby's heart rate. Doctors just want to make sure we're both okay." Amanda stated in a soft, inert tone. She patted her stomach delicately. A.J. was fascinated. The small machine was keeping the rate of his baby's heart. He could not imagine such a thing being accomplished. "Everything's okay, right? With both of you?" A.J. continued their conversation, reaching Amanda's bed. She could see the delight breathing in his eyes. Amanda gave him a small smile. 'Concern... jackpot!' A.J.'s mind set off fireworks while he stayed calm on the outside. "Uh huh. We're doing just fine." Amanda chimed. She again rubbed her stomach. A.J. nodded. He was pleased.

A.J. raised a smile and placed his hand ontop of Amanda's. He felt no movement in her stomach. This brought upon disappointment. "I'm going to keep my hand here until I feel that baby kick." A.J. insisted. His grin was becoming fatherly. It was titilating to Amanda's eyes. She placed A.J.'s chances of reaching maturity into a void in her mind. Now she was watching each portion unfold like a delicate flower. "He'll be awake soon. The doctor's gave me a shot." Amanda assured him. She felt butterflies in her stomach. It was a pleasent feeling knowing that A.J. was now accepting the pregnancy as a major part of his life. A.J. did not let any of Amanda's words slip out without examining them. "So we know that it is a he?" A.J. asked, showing a small disappointment in the way he spoke. Amanda laughed quietly. "No... I almost killed the nurse when she was going to tell me what it was. I told her that we don't want to know until the baby's born." Amanda gushed out like a little girl. A.J. snickered at her excitement. "Fair trade babe. Neither of us will know until the due date." A.J. agreed with her in his mind and heart.

Amanda lifted her head from the pillow, watching an undiscovered tenderness frolic in A.J.'s dark eyes. She felt A.J. beginning to sit on the edge of the bed. His hand remained still on her hand. His eyes traced her face and her figure. 'She's glowing.' he thought while admiring her. She was showing signs of long misplaced tranquillity. "So Panda... what happened? What did the doctors say?" A.J. asked the questioned that burned within both of their minds. Amanda prayed the question would not come, but within her euphoria came distraction. She nibbled her lower lip before pulling her hand from under A.J.'s. She pressed his hand down on her stomach so that he could feel anything that might happen. She clasped her hands together and rested them near her chest. The face that showed a soft sign of fear began to create a face of nothingness. She let the question linger so that she could collect her thoughts.

"Well... I was watching you guys on the Billboards with your mo and the dogs. When you won the first award... I got really excited. I... I guess I got a little too excited and well... the doctors said I started having contractions. So your mom called an ambulance and we ended up here. The doctors all said it was a little too soon and the baby wasn't ready to come out. So... uhm, they stopped the contractions and began tests on me and stuff to make sure I was okay. I've been here ever since." Amanda stated everything with breaks to create the right setting for A.J. She did not look into A.J.'s eyes right away. She only feared the expression he could be wearing. "The doctors said everything was going to be okay though, right? Our baby will be fine and healthy when you give birth, right?" A.J. was filled with questions. Each one was asked with his raspy voice. Amanda knew she would have to answer all of them to drown A.J.'s fears. She only wish she could do the same for herself.

Amanda looked up to A.J. finally. The apprehension still ran through her as she examined A.J. Gradually her eyes saw that his face was filled with nothing but concern. His rough, skinny face showed every sign of care for her. "The baby will be fine Alex. The doctors assured me that nothing was wrong with the baby and everything should be okay. They say I might have the baby early though because of these contractions." Amanda explained with a calm and sincere voice. She sensed that is what A.J. needed at the time. He had to have something to ease his fears. Amanda was a professional at accomplishing that task for him.

"And what about yo..." A.J. was stopped mid-sentence. The feeling over something grazing the palm of his hand ceased his whole bodily movement. Amanda's eyes fluttered with surprise. A.J.'s lips quivered as he pressed a little harder on Amanda's stomach. He looked up quickly, feeling his palm being tickled again. His eyes saw tears forming in Amanda's eyes. She was being astounded by the actions taking place in the room. "It's her!" A.J. boasted loudly, not moving his hand an inch from where he held it. Amanda laughed horsely. She sniffled and caught her tears of joy as they fell from her eyes. "Yes Bone... it is." Amanda agreed with a whisper.

Amanda wiped away another tear when she saw something slither down A.J.'s cheek. It was clear. Amanda's eyes were becoming clouded with her few tears, but she could still make out the object she stared at. It was a tear. It was on A.J.'s thin cheek. Her cold hands reached out to A.J. and brushed the tear. A.J. jerked back suddenly, covering his face with his large hands. "Aaaww damn, I've got something in my eye." A.J. insisted. Amanda's motuh dropped a little. 'Oh come on A.J., fess up.' she mused. She was ashamed that her boyfriend could not admit that the feeling of his child kicking brought him to tears. The overwhelming experience of feeling a lifeform you created beneath your fingertips was moving and A.J. was too stubborn to acknowledge his sensitivity to the new emotion.

A.J. pulled his hands down and showed a face that had been stained with tears. He rested his hands in his lap and looked down at Amanda's stomach. His heart was smiling uncontrollably. He sniffled softly and then brought his eyes up to Amanda's. "You're beautiful Amanda." he said, overcome with joy. Amanda was experiencing another new side of A.J. He was letting his sincerity rule his usual placid nature. She let her hand trace over her stomach and then move into A.J.'s lap. She grabbed one of his hands. She mouthed the words, 'Thank you,' for him. A.J. clutched her hand. He rubbed her palm and set her at ease. He kept a straight face, trying to bring back the 'old' A.J. He was failing while watching her regard him.

"I just have to go tell everyone about this. Do you mind?" A.J. asked. He finally gave into his desire. He wanted to be a father and he was already one, in his heart. Amanda shook her head quickly. "Go ahead Bone." she insisted, releasing his hand. A.J. leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He brushed her stomach with his hand one last time. "I promise I'll be back in ten." he whispered into her ear. He was giving her an assurance with her words. The trust was shakey, but enough for Amanda to accept his promise. Amanda nodded and hugged him loosely. She wanted to thank him, but she resisted. She released him so that their sentimental statures would fade. Too much emotion was confiding for the two and it would cause an unstable reaction. Amanda and A.J. did not seek that. Amanda waved farewell to her boyfriend as he disappeared into one of the corridors of the hospital.

The room was now a room that Rose Marie Clooney would adjourn to. It had a since of happiness echoing each corner. It was all because a barrier had been broken and a couple came together to forgoet past mistakes and accept what blessings they had been given. It was a the season for thanks and Amanda was finally appreciating all that she had been given and fought for.

"Why did you tell him that?" a voice caused Amanda to stir from her serene moment. Amanda knew the voice in it's perfect pitch. She raised her drooping head to give acknowledgement to Denise McLean. Her eyes informed her that Denise did not want to be acknowledged. Her face demanded a justicafaction for Amanda's actions. Amanda twirled a finger in her ponytail as Denise entered the room. Her small frame moved casually. Her arms were tightly crossed. She gave Amanda ample time to respond to her question. Amanda batted her fragile blue eyes. "Don't hide and wait for me to repeat the question, Amanda. Why did you lie to A.J.?" Denise asked, her firm voice pounding upon Amanda's spirit. Amanda was cornered with an intense, illusional stare given by Denise. She felt her systems become weak and unsure of the path in which the light led to. Denise was relentless in her stare. She was growing angry with Amanda. She was irritated by Amanda's resitance to speak. Her eyebrows shifted in height, manifesting her anger through her eyes and facial expressions. "Silence isn't going to get you anywhere Amanda. Now simply explain why you felt it necessary to distort what the doctors told you in front of my son." Denise ordered Amanda without hesitance.

Denise was restless. She held Amanda's escape in the iris of her eye. The door showed no sign of A.J. or other visitors. She loathed Amanda's silence. "Denise... he's not ready to know the truth." Amanda finally spoke. Denise was distracted by the sounds of the machines, but she captured all the words Amanda spoke. She began a slow pace at the foot of Amanda's bed. She was dumbfounded at Amanda's selfish reply. "When will he be ready Amanda? When you start making more and more trips to the hospital? When you're too sick to get out of bed? When the doctor's office calls him? When?!" Denise asked, raising her voice with each question. Being a P.R. on occassion for the Backstreet Boys made her arguing skills vast and incessant. Amanda pouted her lips, seeing Denise's strong defense. "I only have another month to go Denise. I can make it and A.J. won't have to worry." Amanda said with a shady appearance. Denise halted her walk, giving Amanda a steely look. "Only a month Amanda? My aren't we the optomistic now." Denise hissed with sarcasm flowering in the way she spoke. Amanda drew her legs up, feeling uncomfortable in the space she was given. "Amanda I was in here when the doctors talked about the problems that could follow with the pregnancy. I heard you when you told them that your family had a history of complicated pregnancies and miscarriages. When you mentioned your aunt's two miscarriages and your cousin's loss of her child during birth. And now you tell A.J. that everything is fine and that the baby will be okay? You could die while giving birth Amanda." Denise affirmed. She was not as much angered as she was disappointed in Amanda.

Amanda flashed her eyes back to the doorway. Still there was no A.J. "I'm not going to die." Amanda said with a whimper. The actuality of what the remaining weeks of her pregnancy meant caused tremors in her heart. Denise saw how speaking of death broke down all of Amanda's defenses. Denise watched the way Amanda's hands trembled. She observed how Amanda clinched the sheets between her fingers. It was not the manner Denise wanted to see Amanda in her eighth month of gestation. "My child is going to be healthy and we're both going to live healthy lives. And if I don't want to tell A.J. so that he won't live the rest of this pregnancy in fear of losing me or the baby, then that's what I'm going to do. Don't you get mad at me for wanting the best for Alex." Amanda spoke loudly and with tears in her eyes. Amanda released the sheets and dropped her head into her hands. The tension mounting on her was becoming excess. However her defense was strong. She was the mother and ultimately the decision maker when it came to the unborn child.

Denise eased her way to the bed and took a seat next to Amanda. She regarded Amanda as she cried insufferably. Denise felt guilt invading conscience. 'It's not worth it, Amanda.' Denise thought while rubbing Amanda's back. The sounds of her lamenting caused her stone walls to collapse. She used her other hand to pet Amanda's head. Secretly she saw Amanda as her daughter. She never admirred it aloud, fearing she would jinx her son's future. Though she wanted the best for A.J., she knew his temper. She knew his unforgiveness. She had once been on the side of his revengeful disposition. She took witness to A.J.'s dismissal of Amanda several times. She knew Amanda and A.J. had paid their dues. They deserved another chance at happiness. 'To what end though?' Denise thought while she dwelled on the thoughts of Amanda's deception.

Amanda raised her head, sniffling and wiping away tears. She pulled her hands across her face, riding her cheeks of unpleasent tears. She couldn't locate the capacity she needed to face Denise's eyes again. "The right thing isn't always the right thing to do Denise." Amanda stated with a shakey voice. She refused to see if A.J. ahd returned. She had already released her cry and she was attempting to face fear head on. She was struggling to bare the cold of reality and Denise McLean's truth. Her eyes stung with a familiar, bittersweet feeling. Her eyes explored the rest of the bed while Denise continued to tenderly massage Amanda's back. "Amanda, sometimes it's right to do the right thing." Denise brought up her contradictory statement. Amanda knew that Denise withheld the same information from A.J. that she did. The taste of guilt was becoming accustom to both. It's thick and dry feel in their throat prevented them from arguing further. "I'll tell him when the time is right." Amanda finally succombed to unselfish emotions. Denise breathed a sigh of contentment. She settled for the compromise.

Hours were precious and favored by Brian and Justin, but no one else. Nikki stretched as she strutted down the long hall where her friends awaited her. Her body glowed in the pale sunshine that glimmered in the hall from the windows. She watched Justin leaned against the doorway of the waiting room. She could see him making a light conversation with Brian. It was a refined sight for her. She smiled when she saw Veronica sitting on the floor in the hall and Danay standing next to her. Danay was sipping slowly on a cappuccino. She was in no rush. Nikki could spy Veronica resting her head on the wall, striving to clutch infrequent minutes of sleep. Nikki giggled at the site, seeing Veronica pressed against the wall. She knew Veronica was more than uncomfortable in her position. "Hey V! Why don't you take a siesta on the sof ." Nikki suggested while prancing down the hall.

Veronica's eyes flitted open. She lazily stretched her legs out and yawned obnoxiously. She scruffed her fingers through her hair and looked down the hallway. She saw Nikki advancing closer. She faked a smile and sighed comfortably. "Well what's the old girl doing?" Veronica asked, tilting her head back. Nikki stood over Veronica and then waved to Danay. Danay gave her a nod, still trying to recover from her hectic night. "Uhm, Amanda's chilling right now. The nurse came in and said she'll be released by noon. So she'll probably catch a nap and get ready to leave." Nikki responded to Veronica. She looked down at Veronica who carelessly listened to her. "And is she thinking about how we flew out here to see her? Has she even asked about us?" Veronica asked. Nikki could feel the bitterness in the way Veronica asked her questions. It was alcohol to a nun. It was sinful. Nikki despised it. "Well I'd say she's been a bit worried about her baby and hasn't been able to jump up and say, 'Let me go see the girls.'" Nikki replied sharply. She was always the advocate for Amanda. She felt closer to Amanda than the others and was refused the role of Benedict Arnold. "Oh is that what it is?" Veronica grumbled, pulling herself up on the wall. She walved past Danay and crossed through the doorway and into the waiting room.

Danay lowered her styrofoam cup and eyed Veronica. "Something wrong V?" Danay asked in a sincere tone. She was in pursuit of Veronica's sudden anger. Veronica plopped down next to Mandy on the couch and pulled her legs up. She placed her arms around her legs and held them up on the couch. "Let's not discuss it right now Mama D." Veronica cautioned her. Danay scanned the room and noticed that Lynn had not return with Denise from their run to the cafeteria. A.J. was making calls to his friends to update them on Amanda's situation. It was early. Danay handled the distance between the group in her own motherly way. "I think maybe we should Veronica because you seem to have had this feeling on your mind for quite awhile." Danay recommended without indecision. She knew she was going against the grain, but she finalized what she was going to do. She refused to let Innosense bicker childishly like she had seen the Backstreet Boys do. "Well I'm glad you think that Danay, but I'm not talking about it here." Veronica inissted with cold, copper-brown eyes. She turned her head toward the television to notify Danay of her rebelion. Danay did not have to look at physical signs to understand Veronica's alienation.

Danay stomped into the waiting room and walked over to the television. She clicked it off, drawing attention from Jenny, Justin and Brian. Nikki followed her into the waiting room, determined to battle alongside Danay. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall near Jenny. Jenny looked around and could see that feelings were going to be expressed in a loud and irate procedure. She straightened her body in the chair she sat in and tossed her hair back. "Danay, don't be stupid. Just let it go." Mandy pleaded, pulling up her olive green eyes up from the magazine she browsed through. Nikki stepped forward, her lips forming words. Danay raised her hand and stopped her with the single movement. She gave Mandy an icy glare in the process. Mandy merely looked back down to the magazine, fearing no competition from Danay. "I'm sorry Mandy if this interrupts what you want to do, but I care a little bit more about this group than our own personal desires and dislikes." Danay stated firmly. Mandy lifted her head again and closed the magazine. She crossed her legs and gave Danay a Sharon Stone glance. She was not amused by Danay's sudden lust for untiy. "Well Danay... you've got the floor now. What do you want to discuss?" Mandy asked, lacking her usual sweet voice. She placed her hands on either side of her and dulled her appearance.

Danay resented Mandy's approach toward the discussion. Her bitter words brought concentration on Danay. 'Okay, let's play their game.' Danay decided. She strolled to the middle of the room with a model-like stride and gave each member of the room a wintery glance. She left no corner or mark of the room unsearched. "It's obvious what we need to talk about. Actually, it's quite apparent what Veronica should discuss with us. That problem or issue that we need to attend to is Veronica's growing attitude when it comes to Amanda and the group. So why don't we let Veronica have the floor..." Danay hissed, directing her view on Mandy. Mandy stared back at her with even more contempt. She in turn pulled her hair back and then turned to Veronica. "Well V... I don't think she's going to back down and let us have our peace until you have your say." Mandy said camly. Nikki watched Mandy with uneasiness. 'What is she up to?' Nikki pondered.

Veronica did not glance over at Mandy. She focused her attention on Danay. 'Bitch.' Veronica said boldly in her thoughts. She collected all of her statements and ordered them in her mind. She stood up and walked away from the couch that she and Mandy had occupied. "If I must Danay... then I guess I shall." Veronica said with a thickening accent. Danay swayed her arm to gesture for Veronica to take control of the room. Veronica was not afraid to step into the chariot and grab the reigns. She relished the occasion. "I want Amanda out of the group," Veronica said with her bold and unruffled tongue. An unfulfilling gasp rushed over the room. Veronica rolled her eyes when it came to surprise. Her philosophy was more perplexed then subtlty. "I feel that Amanda has no purpose left within Innosense and I do not think we should use Jenny as some substitute or alternate vocalist any time Amanda wants to jump in and out of the band." Veronica added with assurity in her argument.

Justin looked at her with doubt. 'How could she want her out?' Justin puzzled. He knew Veronica. She was once his 'Huckleberry Finn' and now she was something new, something confusing. She was vicious and she sought her way of working. Now Justin watched as Veronica argued to dispose of a vital member of Innosense. The same member that was there for Veronica when she was sick on tour. The same member that welcomed Veronica openly when she was chosen to replace Britney Spears in the group. The same member that performed wacky acts with her when they attended clubs or record label soirees. She was indeed a perplexed friend and person.

"It's not happening V." Danay disagreed first. She was determined. Veronica shifted her position and looked on Danay. "It's not your decision alone." Veronica stated with no feeling. Nikki stepped up, refusing to be silenced again. "I guess you forgot that you replaced Britney, huh? You were never an original member. It's good to know that you feel strongly for Jenny as a temporary member, as we all do but we're not just dumping Amanda because you feel she's not an active member. She's is very much an active member. She's the same member that is on thirteen out of sixteen songs on our album and she's the same member that's returning in Feburary when the album is released." Nikki bolted out her words with conviction. She was the wiser of the five. She had information on all of the members because they could all depend on Nikki to fight for them. "And she's the same member that has missed countless shows and brought us all kinds of drama because she's dating A.J. People ask where she is and we have to lie... just as A.J. does because she's pregnant." Mandy retorted from her seat. She was strong with her voice. "Well if you're going to play that card, you might as well burn Nikki at the stake for admitting to the public that she's seeing Kevin." Danay boasted. Nikki sighed and walked back to the wall she leaned against.

Veronica swayed near Nikki. "How can you be apart of a group when you have a child? What? We're just going to call Jenny up when the baby's sick and expect Jenny to drop everything that she is doing to bail Innosense out again?" Veronica returned with an even stronger argument. She walked away from the center of the room with pride running over her body. She smiled mentally. 'That'll get 'em.' Veronica was convinced by her own evidence and logic.

Danay groaned loudly and walked over to the chair Brian sat in. "Look at this man right here. Look at Brian." Danay demanded. She pointed to Brian and felt no wrong. Justin's curiosity was intrigued. She gazed over Veronica to see Brian. Brian sat in a disorientd expression ruling his face. He thought over things he may have said to bring him to this position. He was now a piece of the argument. "Look at Brian. He's a Backstreet Boy. He's also married. Brian is married to Justin, who is a member of 'N Sync and a guy. They are two gorgeous men and they are married, to each other. They are forced to hid this relationship constantly from the press, fans and even some of their friends. They are constrained from seeing each other continually to hide what they have together. Guess what? They've almost been married six months. They're still together." Danay stated an important argument. She was not finished. The others listened to her to see if she could win them over. Her strong nature proved she was capable of many things. "This man right here wants a child. He wants a baby to share and raise with his husband. Will it be easy? No. Will he suffer and lose some things? Of course. But will his friends bitch at him? Will they turn their backs on him? Maybe at times, but they would not dare lose something as important as Brian. They won't go behind his back and discuss getting rid of him because he's forced to miss a show when his child is sick. They'll respect him and understand that he's a man and he's a man with a family." Danay finished her argument. She was a favored arguer in the group. She knew how to take what was given to her and multiply it into a speech worthy of Martin Luther King Jr's lips.

Mandy raised up from the couch and crossed the path of Nikki. "Good point Danay. I don't want to examine their marriage any further to bring out faults because I'm not one to direct my arguments on friends." Mandy remarked, finding a place near the doorway where Justin was standing. Justin frowned at her. He was disappointed in her educated way of insulting Justin and his husband. "If you'd like to disect us Mandy... feel free." Justin seethed at her. Mandy glanced over her shoulder at Justin. She shook her head easily. "No Just, I'm not going to touch anything on your marriage because it's not necessary. This is about Amanda and her place in Innosense. If she has one." Mandy assured him. She stopped her walking and inclined facing the entranceway. Nikki looked over at her but remained leaning against the wall. "This pregnacy wasn't planned and it has been a strain on all of us. We've rescheduled studio dates and photo shoots because of it. We've had to search for a new member because of it. We've had to adjust to a new schedule that consisted of us performing with Amanda while she wasn't showing and then rehearsing with Jenny so she could become accustom to the routine. And now we've ended a brief prmotional stop in Vegas to rush home for a false alarm." Mandy stated. She was building to a thought-provoking climax. "When do you get to the point where you let Amanda go so she could raise the child she and A.J. created and let Innosense blossom in their career?" Mandy asked the question that had crossed each of their minds at one point. She folded her hands together and awaited an answer.

The room remained quiet. Brian looked around to see if another argument could be spurred in Amanda's defense. "We just think that with Jenny we have a chance at growing. We have a chance at make Innosense's known instead of stopping every two seconds for another Amanda problem." Veronica added to what Mandy said. Mandy nodded and smiled over at Jenny. Jenny remained relatively quiet throughout the whole ordeal. Her thoughts were to herself. She scooted to a corner of the couch she sat on and looked down at the ground.

Nikki edged off the wall and stood straight. "Okay Mandy and Veronica... what do you do when you find out I'm pregnant?" Nikki asked clearly and directly. She wanted to withhold a personal example, but she knew it was the only recess from their gloating. Eyes took to her as if she was Princess Diana in a French city. She was the nightengale failing at it's flight of hope. She drooped hre head. Danay shook her head and removed her eyes from Nikki. 'Not now Nik.' Danay sighed. She disagreed with Nikki's approach toward Mandy and Veronica. "Don't even joke like that." Veronica peered at her. Nikki kept her eyes on the ground. "Are you really Nikki?" Jenny finally spoke. Her rabbit curiosity was clouded by genuine concern. Mandy doubted Nikki's tactic and took her challenge. "Then I guess in nine months we might be having another one of these talks." Mandy jested. She was not convinced. She licked her lips and again walked by Nikki. Nikki kept her head lowered. "Oh you bitch." Danay growled, walking quickly over to Nikki. Jenny crawled on the couch to the closest side of Nikki. "That would be the end of Innosense." Veronica let the words slip from her lips. She was dumbfounded by Nikki's question. She never pictured the occurence, but she could see the reality in it.

Justin slid into the room and pulled Nikki closer to him. She urged the others to move backward as he comforted her. "It'd only be the end of Innosense if you allowed it. All you want is to dispose of a friend because she can't be out there bustin' her ass all the time like you. She's carrying a life. Another generation that might get to hear Innosense. But if you continue in the infantile, self-seeking, vindictive and melodramatic ways that ya'll are... then Innosense won't ever get a chance to fully exist." Nikki barked at them, directing most of her force to Veronica. She wrapped her arms around Justin and hugged him for comfort from the struggle she endured with her friends. Justin sighed and hugged Nikki tightly. He shook his head. He always thought that Innosense was a firm group of women that could overcome small and large tasks without destroying each other. Now he could see that they were no different than his own group. He had watched the group grow from a hundred girls auditioning for a group to five, beautiful, and respectable women.

"And to add to that, none of you ladies will dare speak of the subject again. You will all continue as you are and not argue otherwise. If you choose to disobey that, then you can take the position you have so fitly given to Amanda and get out of the group." Lynn Harliss's voice was powerful and inarguable. She and Denise McLean waltzed into the waiting room. Lynn's face was cascaded with signs of anger. She stared vilely at Veronica and then her eyes dawned on Mandy. She was not releasing either from her rage. Her blue orbs then looked at Danay with disappointment. She curled her lips. "When Amanda gives birth to her baby, we will then discuss with her, whether or not she wants to leave the group to be a full time mother." Lynn finalized the argument. She received no disagreements or protests.

Lynn turned around to face Nikki and Justin still in their embrace. She lacked the care to admire Justin comforting Nikki. Her anger was blistering too great. Lynn's only escape was disposing of all of the anger when it came to her. "Nikki.. hallway... now." Lynn demanded, exiting the waiting room and storming into the hall. Nikki pulled back from Justin with fear in her eyes. She sniffled while Justin wiped away some of the tears that were on her face. Nikki could feel her friends eyeing her with dread. None of the girls wanted to face the wrath of Lynn. Nikki knew she would only be the first to be subjected to it. She relaxed while Justin grazed his hands up and down her arms. "It'll be okay Peaches." Justin assured her. He was Lynn's son. He knew what the experience was like. He had been scolded and repremanded by his mother many more times than he chose to relive. Justin leaned down and kissed Nikki's forehead for consolation. Nikki smiled at him when he pulled away. She leaned up and gave Justin a kiss on the lips. It was a small and inanimate kiss. The kiss was a friendly gesture that Nikki awaited the moment to give. She treasured Justin like she treasured her heart. He was a friend she wanted for life. "You were right Justin... on some ends, I didn't want to break up with him." Nikki whispered while drawing away. Justin gave her a misread look. She grinned and patted his cheek.

Nikki scooted away from Justin and began her exit for the hallway. 'No fear.' Nikki tried to coax herself while her steps were stiff and unwanted. A strong hand held her before she could fully exited the entranceway. Nikki looked behind her and she saw a pair of baby blue eyes. She raised her brow with wonder. "He's my cousin Nikki... we may fight, argue and even ignore each other's feelings, but I have to know. Are you pregnant, Foxy?" Brian was the one asking the question in a low, sincere voice. He cared for Kevin more than he showed. Nikki knew it, but she would not let Brian know that she did. She sniffled again. Brian's blue eyes were pleading with her. He only wanted a simple answer. He did not demand nothing complicated or heartbreaking. "I thought I was." Nikki replied softly. She gave Brian a small smile. Brian did not smile back. He sympathized with her. "I took a test... it was negative Bri. Please don't mention it to Kevin." Nikki requested in her whisper. She too pleaded with him. Brian licked his lips and then agreed with a nod. He let her secrets take president over Kevin's because he was fond for Nikki. She was one of Kevin's girlfriends that he loved like a sister. Nikki drew away from Brian and then finished her walk into the hallway. Brian frowned and entered the waiting room again to do as the others, wait.

LFO was floating through the speakers. J.C. was laying on his bed. His eyes were shut and his body was relaxed. He did not want to listen to LFO. He felt the mood was inappropriate for them. He also felt the song of choice extinguished the beauty of the moment. It was surreal to him. He raised his hips and sighed. It was evening and J.C. was grateful to be home again in Orlando. He was also obliged to be in his condo instead of partying like some did for Britney Spears at Wright Entertainment Group. He tried to find something else to be thankful for, but that thing was still an opressed thought in his mind.

'Damn.' J.C. brooded in his mind. He deemed 'I Will Show You Mine' by LFO a dance track and not a song to become intimate with. J.C. glanced down and blamed Nick for his mood being slightly altered. Though J.C. did enjoy the pleasure that Nick's lips provided him with. His eyes watched Nick's delciate mouth raise upward on J.C.'s smooth dick. J.C. reached down and petted Nick's head as a compliment. "Ah fuck." J.C. managed a grunt as Nick's tongue toyed with the slit of J.C.'s cock. He rummaged his fingers through Nick's fair hair. He twirled a finger in Nick's bangs, panting heavily while Nick's lips kissed J.C.'s slick penis.

The thumping bass drew J.C.'s attention again. His head snapped in the direction of his stereo. He loathed the sounds. 'Oh fuck, why couldn't he put a damn ballad on repeat? You can't make love to this.' J.C. complained mentally. He attempted to bring his concentration back to the way Nick appeased him orally. He rolled his head back and closed his eyes again. "Oh Nickie... mmm... keep your tongue... ah, ah... right there..." J.C. groaned out a request as Nick's tongue fondled J.C.'s sensitive head. His mouth curled up and he began to raise his legs. "Uh baby... yes!" J.C. yelled out, thrusting his hips. Nick felt the cock run down his throat, making him gag a little. The feeling of the convulsing throat made J.C. moan harder. He became concerned for Nick until he felt Nick return to his routine again. J.C. massaged Nick's temples while hearing Devon's soulful voice.

Nick's red lips puckered and suckled on J.C.'s dick. His fingers played with J.C.'s hairy balls. He enjoyed giving his lover a blowjob. It was a breathtaking experience. The way J.C.'s body wiggled and writhed under the control of his lips was erotic. The sounds of J.C.'s deep, loving voice was sensual. The taste of J.C.'s semen was arousing. The feeling of J.C.'s sweat on Nick's fingertips was erogenous. Everything about being with J.C. in a sexual way brought new heights to Nick's young life. To Nick, J.C. was a matchless lover.

One of Nick's brawny hands grasped J.C.'s inner thigh and caressed it. J.C. was stimulated again. "Mmmmm, oh Nick... heh heh... aaahh baby..." J.C. groaned out, almost singing each word. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Rich's voice did not break J.C.'s engrossment in the sex. He played with the sheets under him, trying to control himself. 'Thank God Chris is out.' J.C. thought as his groans became louder and more vocal. J.C.'s hips began to griate with Nick's lips while Nick tasted the drops of pre-cum J.C. leaked. 'Mmmmmm.' Nick thought while tsating the preview to what was to cum. His blonde hair fell over his eyes, causing him to remove it and slip it behind his ear again. His head bobbed a little quicker to bring J.C. into a sexual orgasm. He wanted to fullfill J.C. sexually on the physical level, the emotional level and the mental level. It was a tough task for any man, but Nick was truly an experienced lover.

"Aaawww baby!" J.C. barked out. His voice was becoming heavy and husky. His chest rose and fell quickly. Sweat was breaking from all of his pores. Nick's hands roughly massaged J.C.'s thighs. The bed was shaking as J.C. thrusted his hips and Nick's body bounced while sucking on J.C. "Uh... uh, oh uh.... almost Nickie..." J.C. crooned. He strained to hold himself back so that Nick could lower half of his shaft into his throat. He lifted his legs a little higher and arched his back. He was falling into the euphoric, sexual world that men fell into when reaching a proper orgasm.

Nick knew the procedure fondly. He sucked J.C. into his throat lovingly. Each movement was a loving movement. Nick was 'head over heels' as Alanis would say and he found no reason to turn back. Nick waited patiently for J.C. to reach climax. He could feel the warmth of J.C.'s body heating his own. He ran his finger over J.C.'s hole and toyed with it. 'Mmmm.... hmmm, babe...' Nick contemplated ideas as he played with J.C. He gently began to slid his finger into J.C.'s hole. The burn of Nick's unlubricated finger caused J.C. to climax roughly. "Nick!" J.C. grunted hard. He ejaculated into Nick's throat, his thick and warm cum covering the walls of Nick's throat. Nick smiled in his mind and began to drink his lover's juice. He slowly fingered J.C. while finishing his oral work. Nick listened to J.C.'s intense breathing while he fingered him. His boyfriend's body was worn and unable to battle with the satisfaction Nick was giving it.

J.C.'s thoughts were cloudy. He pondered if Bing Crosby had dreams of this type of 'white Christmas'. He parted his lips for a deep exhale when his penis concluded its discharge of seed. His eyes batted open and adjusted to the darkness in the room again. He lowered his legs carefully. His body was becoming sore. 'Man... not having sex for awhile sure does wear you out.' J.C. observed while letting his legs rest on the bed again. He felt Nick's lips unwrap from his penis, but his finger stayed deeply planted in J.C.'s ass. J.C. looked up and saw Nick leaning upward and kissed J.C.'s stomach. J.C. smiled and began to play with Nick's blonde hair. He admired the new tribal tattoo wrapped around Nick's right arm. It was exotic to J.C.'s solid blue eyes. He was still unsure why Nick got another tattoo without informing him, but the process of removing clothing to find it still sparked J.C.'s hormones. He slowed his breathing to a normal pace. "Thanks Nickie." J.C. whispered, caressing Nick's head. Nick nodded and continued to kiss J.C.'s smooth stomach.

J.C. stretched on the bed and drew his hands up. He placed them strategically behind his head and closed his eyes again. He interlocked his fingers to support his head. Nick withdrew his finger from J.C.'s ass and ceased his kissing. J.C. could feel the saliva still coating his stomach. He cared not for it. He enjoyed his lover's sentimental conduct. "I've got to get some water. Do you want anything while I'm up Josh?" Nick asked. J.C. could feel Nick's tall, young body standing from the bed. J.C. gave a small yawn. "No thanks Nickie." J.C. responded cautiously. He sratched his chest and turned to his side. Nick watched him move like a lazy lion. He smiled on the inside, but outside he knew J.C. would soon be asleep in the bed. 'Cum and no love.' Nick sighed to himself. "I'll be back." Nick stated, stepping away from the bed. J.C. yawned out an untranslatable sentence and then cuddled to his pillow. His lover exited the room with angst.

J.C.'s eyes opened again and he snuggled his cheek to his pillow. He nibbled his lower lip and sighed quietly. "I wonder where..." J.C. stopped himself. He was wrong for having the thought. He chastised himself mentally for it. His lover was no further than ten feet away and he dared to have a thought of another man. J.C.'s blue eyes looked to his dresser. He knew a picture of the man he thought of was encased within one of the drawers. He was tempted to at least look at him, but temptation led to sin. Sin led to retribution. Retribution led to the end of Nick and J.C.'s relationship. The cycle was repulsive to J.C. He had had only one other lover and he had faced the effects of temptation with his former lover. Nick still carried the scar of revenge from his former lover. J.C. could not face another trial by fire from his friends. Especially not the one man he thought of. The man he was something a little more to J.C. at times. J.C. was no longer able to touch on the feelings he felt two years ago. He was not able to touch that man or hold that man in an intimate way. It scorned J.C. and his heart.

J.C. began to fade his thoughts. Exhaustion took over. He was careful to think of only Nick as he drifted to sleep. Though Nick was becoming a constant missing link in J.C.'s life, he could not fall for kind nature and friendly gestures. That is how he fell for Nick and confessed his love for Nick. He found it hard to begin a retrospective of what he had. He fluffed his pillow again and then rested his head to fall asleep.

It was going to be another late night in December. It was evident to Lance Bass. He was not going to resist his reasons for being at the Orlando Zomba and BMG offices at a late period of the night. His body felt a bit limp, possibly from exhaustion. He adjusted his silvery waffle sweater. His hair was fading from a rich blonde to brown edges. It was not spikey as Lance liked to wear it appearances. It was mushy outward in different directions. It made Lance feel a little more cozy in the disquieting office chair he reclined it. His mind thought with the tune of a piano. There were no reasons for his lingering. He did not mind loitering around the office, but he was watchful of something else. He kept a close eye on his heart, the one thing that was ever changing in his life.

His yellow-green eyes kept its attention dazed by a more physical sight. "You can go home if you want Lance." a blonde said to Lance. Lance broke his concentration on his thoughts to listen to the voice. "Uhm, no... I'm fine." Lance assured him, straightening a little in the chair. Lance chose not to fight feelings that resided on the same side of his heart. Poetic to Lance, but feeble to his mind. He wanted something but refused to chase after it. Second chances, rather third chances, were abudant for Lance. He's seen love manifested in the carnal and in the idyllic. He could not decide which he preferred more, but both had their striking appeal to Lance's mind and heart. Not to his soul. His soul searched through mild feelings for actual love. Lust was connected to both, but lust was a forbidden sin. Though Lance loved the taste, taste does not go unpunished. Lance knew the rules of the heart. He had been punished through many relationships. Unlike a normal man who would fear falling in love again to spare his heart anguish, Lance confessed a need to have someone always. It was a Keats' associated fear. Lance did not want to die unloved. Not by family and fans, but by someone in a more intimate way. He battled with bitter feelings as another round of chess where his king was not blocked by a rook, but by a pawn.

Lance watched his fellow late night worker with endearing affection. He added another page to his book of Jackie Collins' romances with this individual. "Do you want some coffee?" Lance offered out of subtle care. He tried to remain friendly and not caught up in his thoughts. The heated office made Lance feel a little warm when looked upon by his friend. "No, that's okay. Thanks anyway James." a reply came after a quickly typed message. Lance watched him respond to e-mails and document celebrity appearances. At the same time, a pile of scheduled events sat near a laptop, beckoning the attention of two hours. Lance shrugged. "If you say so Bryce." Lance humbly said, turning his chair in the direction of the door. "Are you leaving?" Bryce asked, shifting his own position to look up at Lance. Lance smiled internally. He could feel warning heeding his current thoughts. Lance remained civil. "Do you want me to leave?" Lance asked with his recurring deep voice. He again adjusted his sweater. He did it in a more seductive composure. Preconceived thoughts controlled his behavior.

Bryce kept a mild, straight face. He brought his eyes down to his laptop again. He was resisting. "Not really. But if you've got to go, you can. I know you probably have a little packing to do." Bryce commented. He was just as Lance, trying to stay civil. His own wounds were brought upon by months of an unsure relationship with Lance. He asked himself many times, 'Is it love?'. He desired an answer, but pride discouraged him. He stuck to positive thoughts to make the fairy tale romance stay in King Arthur's court. The prude essence of chastity Bryce treasured. He could feel that Lance only looked upon it as a prize to be won over, but in love. Bryce believed it was something only given when love was manifested at it's purest form. Two opposing forces and a small candle that bore the scent of lust was defeating Bryce each time he lingered around Lance.

Lance scooted his chair over to Bryce and watched him type up more replies to e-mails. Lance's focus was without care. He took in the fragrance that remained on Bryce's neck. It was manly and mixed with a trace of Tommy cologne. It was appreciated by Lance. It drew up his ridden feelings of lust. Lance's arm slid around Bryce's shoulders while continuing to pretend to watch the computer screen. Bryce felt the comforting arm and let it lay. His attention was primarly on the computer screen. Lance's hunger was hurting his heart. 'Back down.' Lance got the signal loud and clear from his conscience. "I'm leaving tomorrow night. But I haven't given you your Christmas present..." Lance whispered into Bryce's small ear. Lance always ignored heeds from his conscience. He preferred the exhilaration in going against the grain.

Bryce raised his eyebrow at the suggestion by Lance. "You didn't have to James." Bryce replied in his professional tone. Lance loathed it. He tried to release the free spirit in Bryce that ran so vibrantly through Lance. "Don't be such a Grinch, Bry." Lance requested, his lips nearing Bryce's ear. Bryce felt the sweet breath caressing the edge of his ear. Bryce acquired a taste for Lance's rebelious appetite. He felt Lance's lips glaze over the skin of his neck. The rolling of Lance's tongue as he kissed Bryce's neck brought out familiar feelings in both of their bodies. Bryce's body pulled away a little when Lance's kisses became a little more intense. The pressure of Lance's ruby red lips was temptational to Bryce, but he had become accustom to fighting the feelings of eroticism. "Bryce... don't pull away. I'm sick and tired of being in the shadows of what Justin and Brian have. For once, let me have it too." Lance requested, troubled. Bryce had never heard Lance speak with such bitterness toward Brian and Justin. Bryce had similiar feelings at one point, but he didn't seek to be more than what he could. Now he could see that Lance searched for something that Brian and Justin shared. Bryce could feel undeniable feelings beginning to sweep over him and whether his rules were solid or not, he was unable to deny himself lust.

Lance could feel Bryce returning to putty in his hands. This brought on a smile in his lucid mind. He wrapped his arms around Bryce's neck and continued to taste his skin. Crimson lips met with skin again, passionate appetites being satiated with each touch. Lance's rough hands began to battle with confiding clothing on Bryce. Bryce was uncertain on where his hands were to be placed in the instant. He could feel his carnal soul taking control of his body and its movements. Time was not of importance when the first scrap of attire hit the floor of Bryce's office. That piece of clothing was Bryce's silk tie. The suit jacket that rested on the back of his chair fell next as Lance made an unexpected movement and ended up in Bryce's lap. Bryce's hands scratched to grasp his back while Lance's lips traced to Bryce's cheek. Lance's lips were the initiator. Each change of rhythm was started by a shift in the way Lance's lips kissed. Whether smooth and hard or short and suddenly, they signaled a change of actions.

Lance pretended to not notice that Bryce's hands were smooth and sensual while his own were a bit more rushed. It troubled him smally, but he could not dwell on it. He preferred them of the pleasure he was feeling within his body. He knew with a little encouragement, Bryce would become involved in their intense kissing. "Ah Bryce... uh... yeah..." Lance groaned over Bryce's over. His lips then began to devour Bryce's ear, licking and cautiously nibbling.

Without a glimpse, Bryce felt Lance's hands dragging away another article of his clothing. His button down shirt was now just as a shirt. Lance's expert hands managed to rip away half of the buttons while tearing the shirt from Bryce's body. 'This is the part we usually stop at.' Bryce thought while his own hands drew up Lance's sweater. He pulled away, capturing a moan in his throat. "James... heh heh.. let's stop now." Bryce suggested, panting heavily. His eyes batted open and his body began to slow it's withering actions. Lance's lips refused to cease their onslaught. Bryce felt them sliding down his neck and edging near his chest. 'What's he doing?' Bryce thought, his erect penis bumping against Lance's thigh. Lance kissed Bryce's collar bone. His mind declined any words that came from Bryce unless they were in favor of their sexual desire. Bryce placed his hands on Lance's neck and tried to pull him up from kissing. Again, Lance refused. "James... we have to stop." Bryce breathed out. His hands were beginning to ignore them as they drew up Lance's sweater again and then finally ripped it from Lance's body.

While Lance's head was raised for the removal of the sweater, Bryce attempted to look into Lance's eyes. He missed them as they passed him in a blur. 'What am I doing?' Bryce questioned while his hands stroked Lance's chest. "Aaaww Bryce... uh, this is right... let me do this." Lance alsmot demanded with his bass voice. Bryce's eyes cringed shut. His insipid thoughts on the righteous things to do were drowned by a crave for sex. He was still pure, but his feelings told him that it was a matter of minutes before his body was purged of that divine essence. With dreams of making love to the man he loved, Bryce let go of his self-centered disposition.

Finally their lips met for more than seconds. Lance's hands had unzipped Bryce's slacks and Bryce's inexperienced hands had removed Lance's belt. Lance's body was lifting from Bryce's lap while their lips danced the risqu‚ dance of passion. Bryce could feel his own body being drawn up with the kiss. His mind was plagued of pure thoughts. He craved it. He wanted to be laid down on the ground and purged of his virginity by the man he loved, Lance.

Bryce's body was ripped from the chair and pressed onto his desk. He listened to the sounds of things dropping to the floor while his body wriggled for a comfortable position. Lance's lips had parted from his and his hands yanked Bryce's legs apart. Bryce helped Lance to spread his legs and let Lance's body fill the void. "Ah... merry Christmas Bryce..." Lance groaned, his mouth falling to Bryce's chest. Bryce wrapped his arms around Lance's head and held his head in that area. He moaned softly, his face trickling drops of impure sweat. "Mmm... ah, yes Lance..." he husked out. He carefully grinded his groin against Lance's stomach while Lance's mouth took in one of his erect nipples. The sound of papers falling to the ground did not affect Bryce. He could barely hear it as the screams of no return tormented his soul. His pants fell to his ankles and soon to the floor. He was almost nude and he was not loathing it.

Lance's hands pulled Bryce up again and took him from the desk. With a loud moan, Lance laid Bryce down onto the office floor and mounted him. Bryce kept his arms wrapped around Lance's back, scratching at it with anitcipation. "Yeah! Uh..." Bryce grunted while feeling Lance's hips grind roughly against his. He was caught up in the pleasure and his eyes stayed tightly shut. His sweaty hands made their way to the small of Lance's back. His right hand drew a little further down and felt a pair of cotton boxer-breifs. The shape of Lance's small ass fascinated Bryce. He began to learn each of it's curves. His hands had been there before, but only during instense make-out sessions and cautious kissing. They had never explored that area during an erotic period.

Lance's pants had left him between movements from the desk to the floor. His body moved like a snake ontop of Bryce's. Slowly and gradually, Lance drew Bryce's boxers off of his body. The sight of Bryce's strong penis brought out familiar cravings in Lance. His hands gripped it while his lips ran up to Bryce's left nipple. Bryce gasped out and pressed his hands to Lance's shoulders. "Mmmph... let's go a little further cowboy." Lance suggested, his hot breath running over Bryce's sweaty chest. The chill ran over each of their bodies when another set of papers fell from Bryce's desk. Bryce spread his legs while Lance masturbated him for the first time. "O-Okay." Bryce managed to grunt out. His hands rubbed Lance's shoulders and his eyes opened to look up at the ceiling. He was stiffly scared, but curiosity and carnality won the war of permission.

Lance's lips produced a smile. 'Yes!' he screamed out in his mind. After months of trying, seeking and temptation, Bryce finally gave in. Bryce was going to allow Lance to steal his virginity. Lance's mind was far from considering words he had spoke to Bryce many times. Love was not an aspect of the office. It fit nowhere into the straight lined walls, the cold desk, the hard floor, the dark chairs or the fluorescent lights. Lance did not accept it into his thoughts during the period in which he sucked upon Bryce's left pec. It meant nothing.

Lance's hand released Bryce's throbbing, hot dick and guided down his legs. Both hands grasped Bryce's legs and lifted them. 'Basketball court...' a concept coruscate in his mind, but only for a second. Lance ignored it while raising Bryce's legs a little higher. The small drop of precum on Lance's cock and sweat surrounding Bryce's hole was all that Lance took into consideration for lube. Something sinful was preventing him from remaining romantic. "Get ready." Lance gave a quick warning, a caution that did not help.

A howl entered the office. The sound could wake the dead. It could interrupt the rise of power in a deprived country. It turned children's faces to a pale and white hue. It was followed by a painful grunt. There was no intese pleasure following the sounds. Caution was deprived of it's true definition. Bryce was ill-prepared. It was disappointing. It killed a dream that was created by fabrications of what sex would be like.

The head of Lance's penis was inside of Bryce, but at a painful cost. Tears slipped out of the corners of Bryce's eyes. Lance was holding Bryce's waist as he tried to further his conquest. Bryce grunted and hissed a little softer as Lance proceeded. 'I... I can't handle this...' Bryce's mind was beginning to show the repercussions of what he had given in to. His body throbbed with pain and pleasure. Lance's eyes stayed shut. His lips attempted to console Bryce. He knew the pain of losing your virginity. It was not pleasent at first, but a new form of pleasure was to follow. Lance prayed he could bring Bryce to that next step.

Lance's hands drew upward and found Bryce's chest. Lance caressed Bryce's chest while sliding deeper into him. Bryce drew in his lower lip and nibbled roughly on it. The sweat that covered his head and hair was now a cold sweat. He pressed his back down against the ground and tried to hold in more tears. They slipped like water from a leaky faucet. He was ignorant to the pain that was brought along with sex. Now he could feel the true meaning of chastity. Even with Lance's lips kissing his cheek, he couldn't take his mind from the displeasure of Lance's cock burried inside of him.

Bryce felt it. It was Lance's hefty balls resting against his ass. He could not picture how every inch of Lance's penis was not embedded in him. It was though. Bryce's virginity was a white suit of the past. A new hand was being dealt as Lance began to draw in and out of Bryce in a smooth motion. Bryce's body caved under Lance. Panting began from both of their lips. The feeling of another ontop of him did not faze Bryce. He was still adjusting to having Lance inside of his body. Lance's blonde pubic hairs tickled the edge of Bryce's ass, but laughter or smiles did not reach Bryce's lips. Only a consistant trembling met Bryce's lips.

Lance finally opened his eyes to look down at Bryce. He could see that he wasn't giving Bryce as much pleasure as he could have. He was depriving Bryce of the joys of making love. He bent down a little lower and kissed the edge of Bryce's lips. "You feel great Bryce..." he whispered to draw away the shyness that enveloped Bryce's body. Bryce's eyes looked into Lance's pale green's. He gave him a small smile, trying to swallow a lump that gripped his throat. He simply moaned for Lance and closed his eyes. Lance was blind to Bryce's true petulance. Lance's finger wiped away smeared tears on Bryce's face and then his own eyes shut for their passion.

Lance guided his other hand down to Bryce's bobbing cock. He slowly caressed it and then held it in his smooth hand. He gradually began to jerk on it, trying to draw Bryce into the world of ecstasy. He was accomplishing little. Bryce's lips uttered another moan. He was enjoying the taste of masturbation from another man. Bryce let his mind classify Lance as a lover while they made love on the cool ground. "Mmmph..." Bryce puffed out, the burning sensation deserting his posterior. His head rubbed against the ground while Lance fucked him a little quicker. His hips rammed against Bryce's ass. Bryce's legs jumped while lingering in the air. Lance rubbed Bryce's penis tenderily. "Uh... uhmph, oh yeah... ah, ah, Bryce... oh ah..." Lance groaned, his mouth edging toward Bryce's. Bryce let his hands grab Lance's back and hold onto him while Lance moved expertly.

Bryce released his lower lip as the friction of Lance's hand increased. His body was heated with passion and delectation. "Lance... oh fuck!" Bryce muttered out. The unexpected release of the vulgar word caused Bryce to realize their sexual intercourse was bringing out a wilder side of him. A side he admired in Lance. He could now see where that side was drawn from. It was the sexual crave that caused non-poetic feelings to muster. Bryce could perceive his orgasm closing his thoughts.

Lance's hands became rougher on his cock. Lance felt the expansion. 'Man... he's kind of quick.' Lance thought. He continued to fuck Bryce relentlessly. "Oh yes! Oh God! Lance! James! I... I... lo.." Bryce was incapable of finishing his cry of passion. He groaned roughly while releasing his cum onto his stomach, pubes and Lance's hand. Lance smiled when feeling the heated, thick cum on his hand. The convulsing of Bryce's ass added to the gratification. He was bringing him to the borderline. He increased the rate in which he moved while Bryce softened in his hand. Lance brought the hand to Bryce's ball and wiped the cum onto Bryce's balls. It was erotic.

"Oh shit... uh.. uh, oh, oh, oh yeah... Bryce... I'm about to cum inside... ya... boy.. mmmm..." Lance panted out. His body dripped with sweat. Bryce's legs gripped his waist while he moved. "Oh James... please, uh, please tell me you love me..." Bryce asked of Lance while feeling Lance's balls mash against his ass. Lance moved quicker, but he remained silent. Bryce's hands pulled on Lance. "Say it James..." Bryce asked again, his voice becoming clearer. Lance's body continued to make love to him, but his mind froze. He was put at a requisited situation.

Lance felt his mind travel backward when hearing Bryce request the phrase again. He could see himself in Bryce's position and a blonde was on top of him. He could vividly remember how he asked Nick to repeat that same phrase. He remembered looking up at Nick's twisted face as he fucked Lance without care. He never got the response he wanted from Nick that night. He only felt his heart being ripped out when Nick screamed Brian's name while orgasming inside of Lance's weak and frail body. Lance was still unable to forget the moment and the pain he felt.

Lance slowed himself inside of Bryce. "James... oh, I need to hear you say it..." Bryce pleaded with a pant. Lance still did not reply. He couldn't say it. He was incapable of uttering the words Bryce wanted to hear. 'I'm Nick.' he thought in his mind. He felt his body shake. His body released it's seed into Bryce, but his mind was numb to the usual enjoyment that followed that release. He simply gave a small grunt while his enormous amount of built up sperm flowed into Bryce. Bryce gsaped out, feeling the sensation of cum inside of him. 'I... I don't love him.' Lance postulated. It was a painful judgement that he made. His body emptied itself into Bryce's asshole and he fell ontop of Bryce's heaving flesh.

Lance's thoughts clouded each move he made. He was dumbfounded again. His hands yanked briskly away from Bryce. They began to shake. He was afraid to touch the body he had just made love to. He was afraid to touch himself. 'It was all wrong.' Lance barked at himself. For the first time during the night, his conscience received attention. He was disgusted by his own mind and his own inability to control his sexual crave. He couldn't turn back time. He took Bryce's virginity and the cost was immeasurable. He was now beside himself.

Lance panted quietly into Bryce's ear while Bryce embraced him. "Hmmm, thank you James. It was more than I asked for." Bryce whispered into Lance's ear. Lance was deaf. Bryce's lips touched Lance's cheek, causing Lance to pull back a little. He did not let Bryce complete the kiss. 'He's not the one I love... he's not... he's...' Lance couldn't finish his thought. He was sickened. He was in a cold office, lying ontop of Bryce. The setting was wrong. The promises he had made. The dreams he wanted for himself. The fanasty he wanted to live through Bryce. They all faded like the pale moon. There was nothing left to expect except pain. Lance's chin hit Bryce's shoulder with that irritating thought. He opened his mouth with no words to follow. He couldn't explain his guilt to Bryce. They only laid with Bryce hugging onto the man he thought of as his lover and Lance's drawing away from the man that he did not love.

Another evening was holding Orlando in its arms. It was an early evening, not one captivated by full darkness. The sun was giving up on its battle to remain in the sky, letting the blanekt of the night cover the children of the city. Lance was moving in the evening again. He was edging near a door. It was a door that he feared. He didn't know what to expect. 'I hope he's home.' Lance prayed in his mind. He hoped his words met God and a miracle occured. Conversations were scarce and words were at a standstill. Lance's body was at a standstill in front of the door he feared touching. He sighed without content. 'Life's a game of chess... you've got to move before you can win.' Lance decided in his mind. He was fascinated on how his mind could make decisions his body did not want to follow through with. His heart was catching up to his quick mind as it beat heavily and quickly. 'Damn, this isn't sex... it's just knocking on the door.' Lance criticized himself while taking a small step forward. His lips pressed together. His throat was becoming dry. His shakey hand was beginning to lift, but could never make the full transaction.

A surge finally ran its course through Lance's body and his hand made contact with the wooden door. His hand had a brief conversation with the door before it was latching onto Lance's side again. He contemplated receiving no answer from the door he stared at. He shrugged. He flushed his hands into his pockets and lowered his head. He had given up.s He didn't want to ring the doorbell or knock again. He decided it was for the best. His pale face stared at the floor for a minute and then his feet began the talking for him. He wasn't staying.

"Who is it?" a voice called out from the otherside of the door while Lance's feet began to move backward. Lance's body froze. He became stiff all around. His wooden green eyes looked up at the door. His lips parted. He questioned whether he shoulod answer or leave things as they were. He felt words pressing at throat. The words were encouraging him to persue. His mind disagreed with his heart. Lance was at a cross fire, but this did not keep him neutral. "It's Lance." his mouth released a loud reply. He thought to whisper. He thought to sneak away. "Just a sec." a reply was given without the hesitation that Lance exemplified. Fading away into the evening was no longer an option for Lance.

Lance kept his hands in his pocket, but he no longer stood close to the door. He had to give off a casual expression. He did not want attention or suspsicion to linger around him. He sought a more nonchalant demeanor. He listened as the door was being unlocked. A shiver ran up and down his spine. It rippled to the front of him and blured his vision for a second. His eyes focused again and standing in the doorway was J.C. A mediocre smile was on J.C.'s lips and he wore the attire of a blue jean jacket, a white sweater underneath and baggy, tan cargo pants. His lit blue eyes focused all of their attention on Lance. "Hey Lansten." J.C. said, his smile daggling in appearance. Lance waved to him, shyness overwhelming him. J.C. gave off the faint glare of suspicion. It frightened Lance. "Uhm, can I come in and talk with you for a second?" Lance asked to break the stare. J.C. blinked his eyes and then looked at Lance with a dumbfounded expression. With a downwinded voice, his reply was, "Sure."

J.C. moved away from the half-open door. He lte Lance follow him with a fond safety. Lance slid inside the condominium and shut the door. He made sure it was securely shot before turning around. J.C. was nowhere in sight. His lazy eyes took a glance around the entire living room. J.C. was missing. "So what's up Lance?" J.C. bellowed from down the hall. Lance knew that J.C. was located in the bathroom from the faint light his eyes could spot from his position. He leaned to the side to watch the light with mass attention. He watched shadows dance in front of the light, showing that J.C. was doing something in the bathroom. "I wanted to talk to you about something important." Lance replied, raising his voice to be heard. He saw shadows moving once more.

A familiar scent drifted into his nose. It was J.C.'s favorite cologne. It drownded the smell of dull winter and added a warmth to Lance's heart. Lance strolled to the couch he spent many nights sitting on. He took a seat on it, resting his head on the back of it. He wanted to be comfortable. His head drooped a little so he could observe the different things that sat on J.C.'s table. The light of a small Christmas tree near the balcony was enough for Lance. "Well you're lucky you caught me when you did. I hope it's not too lengthy of a story because I've gotta go meet some friends." J.C.'s voice could be heard edging closer. Lance looked up and saw J.C. walk by the couch and stand near the closet. Lance's eyes met J.C.'s in the midst of the transition. Lance broke the trance he held with J.C. to look at his watch. "I'll try and make it short." Lance responded softly. He brought his head up again while J.C. opened the closet door. His hands searched for a place to rest so that he could look cozy. He didn't want to raise any skepticism from his ex-boyfriend.

"Did you get a message I left on your machine a couple of weeks ago? Before Nick and the guys went on tour?" Lance finally inquired. Lance could remember in detail the words he spoke into J.C.'s voice mail. He only wondered why he never got a return call on the topic. The closet door closed softly and J.C. was moving again. "Lance, I haven't gotten a message from you in months." J.C. replied, walking to the kitchen. Lance's face twisted with confusion. 'What?' he thought with seriousness. He pulled a leg up on the couch and sat on it. "Josh, I left you a message before the guys left on tour. It was a rather serious message and I know it was on your voice mail." Lance stated, his voice raising. He was becoming ill with devastation. "Lance, it's not a good time to just play around. I didn't get any message from you." J.C. responded, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Lance gave him an intense stare. He was in disbelief. J.C. had a simplistic look. He was not bothered, but he was curious. He could hear urgency for response in the way Lance spoke.

Lance pushed down his leg and stood from the couch. "I know I called you and I know I left that message, Josh. Whether you got it or not... well I guess that's not real important right now." Lance declared, walking past the coffee table. "Then what is important right now, Lance? What did the message say?" J.C. asked to draw in Lance's eyes. Lance kept his back to J.C. while crossing over to the television. He shook his head. "Does Nick have the code to your voice mail?" Lance asked boldly. His words caused an automatic defensive tactic to come on inside of J.C. "What does that matter?" J.C. asked vindictively. His face was filled with his own verdict. Lance felt an obligation to retract from the conversation. He smoothed his hand through his fair colored hair. He cleared his throat. His eyes awaited words before they looked at J.C. "I just have my feelings." Lance rushed his words. He was feeling sympathy for J.C.

J.C.'s chisled cheeks flexed before he made a sliding walk into the living room. "What are your feelings Lance?" J.C. asked, daring to take a seat on his own couch. He felt safe with Nick meeting with Howie and Meelah and Chris awaiting his arrival. He relaxed his left arm over the edge of the couch and tried to reason with Lance through his eyes. Lance's body felt more at ease seeing J.C. comfortable. He felt the smooth sensation of relaxation running through him. He slowly excelled from the melancholy harmony of a Charlie Brown song to a more mature sense within a Bach melody. "Josh, you know I don't trust Nick. I don't trust his definition of love or the fact that he's always flakey with emotions. From one extreme to another, he's shown that he's still unsure of himself and what he wants from someone. Plus he's been profoundly known from his pentacle falsifications." Lance finally injected his philosophy on J.C.'s lover. His words flutter evenly off his tongue like a Fiona Apple song. His determination was tainted, but honest. The looks he received from J.C. were not favorable, but Lance did not lose ground. He was intended.

A bleek expression covered J.C.'s face. He scratched the side of his head. His words were growing to be more poetic than that of the unforgiving Lance. He waited a few minutes for an encore. "He's had his immature stages and he's been through quite a bit in his lifetime Lance. And I give him the benefit of the doubt for being able to survive rejection from you and Brian. That's a hard thing to get over... when the two people you love express love for others and leave you in the cold." J.C. said, his tongue showing sharp edges. Lance was discouraged. J.C. shifted his position on the couch and grasped one of the pillows laying near him. "I can't call him innocent of all he's done, but I can call him a changed man. A man that has given me as much as I've given him... if not more. Nick's merciful. You never saw it and I never saw it before because I judged him. Now I know that Nick's a great guy. He's decent, caring and understanding. Hell, he gives me more than five minutes out of his day." J.C. added with his official mark of love. His crisp blue eyes would not give Lance a chance to abscond from fate. He wanted to dig a little deeper into Lance and reach a conclusion on what Lance's thoughts drove him to.

Lance stayed quiet. He grew weary of battling with J.C. "He loves you, right?" Lance finally asked with the conviction placed on a serial killer. J.C. ran his fingers over his brow and then nodded. Lance took in his lower lip and nibbled. Courage was becoming nothingness inside of his spirit. "And I love you too." Lance admitted with the extent of his heart. J.C.'s eyes were confused and dazed. Lance nodded to reassure his statement. He slid his hands back into his pockets and pouted. "I've gotta go." Lance added, twisting his body to face the door. He again dropped his heart on the floor like he did when confronting Nick and J.C. about their affair. He shrugged away the pain as another part of his life. "Lance!" the voice rang a grueling chapter in Lance's book. He stopped in his motions. "Nick does have the codes to my voice mail." J.C.'s words were all that was left between the two. Lance felt a smile grow over his heart. 'Maybe he has as much doubt as I do.' Lance made tentative assumptions. His heart urged him to fight a little longer, a little harder. Still his body ignored all heeds and he continued his walk for the door and out of J.C.'s condominium.

The night was a chilly one, but not too cool for Orlando residents. It was a breathless minute and a chilling second that held each hour in expectation of the next. Lake Eola Park was no stranger to moments such as those. It was a majestic scenary that brought in many visitors from the Orlando area. The visitors included that of Chris Kirkpatrick, Justin Littrell, Joey Fatone, Britney Spears, Kameelah Williams, Irish Grinstead and J.C. Chasez. Chris's dog Busta was included in the bunch, running around aimlessly while the others walked. They were drawn into the exquisite park to share time together as friends and lovers. Meelah and Chris led the pack as Chris showed Meelah the many sights of the park. Their conversation was with each other and rarely with the group they travelled with. Britney and Joey remained in the pack with J.C., Justin and Irish.

"That's so cute." Britney cooed while watching Chris casually put his arm around Meelah's neck. Chris and Meelah were deaf to their words. Meelah simply grabbed Chris's available hand and held it sincerely. "She's head over heels with that boy." Irish commented into Joey's ear. Joey snickered in a brotherly way. "You know I helped set them up." Joey boasted, lifting his chin with pride. Justin laughed maniacally. "Yeah right Joey! It was me!" Irish protested with a grin. Joey eyed her with disbelief. "Come on Irish, ask Justin. I set those two up. I encouraged Chris constantly." Joey disagreed profusely. He continued to walk with his head high. Irish nudged him with her own confidence. "I was the one whispering in Meelah's ear twenty-four-seven so that she'd go out with Chris." Irish argued with a sisterly mocking. Britney and J.C. watched them struggle immaturely. Joey wrapped his arm around Irish's neck to continue their argument. "Look Irish, I'm the one who set up the little date in Pairs." Joey insisted with a hiss. Irish threw her arm around Joey's waist and pulled tightly. "Actually Joey... it was me who got the ball rolling on that one!" Irish boldly retorted. Justin continued to laugh incorrigiblely. He watched the two with tears lining his eyelids.

"To set the record straight... it was A.J. who set it up in Paris and Misha who handling everything beforehand." Meelah's voice interrupted their sociable debate. Her voice silenced Justin, Irish and Joey while Britney and J.C. continued to walk with smiles on their face. Irish released Joey's waist quickly while Joey aimlessly lifted his arm from Irish's neck. "We knew that, but we just wanted to make sure you two weren't in La La Land." Irish scampered for an excuse. She looked at the halted Chris and Meelah. Busta was being held in Meelah's arms. Meelah's face was filled with dissatisfaction and Chris's face remained invariable. Irish quickly puckered her lips and ceased to speak. "Next time... ask." Meelah snapped at her friend before beginning her walk with her boyfriend again.

J.C. watched as Chris, Busta and Meelah's path began to differ from the group's. He sensed that Chris wanted a little time alone with his girlfriend. He could empathize. There had been times when he seeked time alone with Nick. That moment was drawing near, but Nick was nowhere around to savor that moment with. It was common for J.C. He enjoyed every second he shared with Nick, but the seconds were short and uneventful as of late. J.C. thought of what his options were. One alternative was a route he had trekked many times with Lance in the past and the other was a more blessed path that Justin and Brian took a voyage on in Hawaii. J.C. was gradually leaning to the road he wanted to walk.

Britney walked closer with Justin, feeling awkward as she did. 'Keep calm, Britney.' she attempted to encourage herself. Justin looked at her with an amicable smirk. "So... when do you and Joey go get cozy without the rest of us?" Justin asked softly. Britney shrugged, avoiding the subject. She licked her reddish glossed lips and sighed. "Joey's only a romantic when the rest of ya'll aren't around. Otherwise, he can be a real ass like the rest of ya." Britney remarked without reservation. It wasn't an amusing statement. Justin covered his heart quickly with his hand. "Ouch!" Justin hissed, putting on a mask of hurt. He hoped to brighten a side of Britney. Britney elbowed him and grinned. She flirtatiously mocked him. "You know you can be one too." Britney giggled. Justin shrugged. "Sure, I can be an ass." Justin agreed with contentment. Britney toyed with her necklace while strolling with him. Her appetite for understanding grew larger. "No... I meant you can be a romantic." Britney said shyly. Her brown eyes mirrored a babydoll's. Justin's eyes slowly made their way to her with curiosity. He spoke a soft conversation with her in their eyes. "How do you figure?" Justin asked with the fondest sentiment. Britney cupped her hands and tittered. "I just know, Just." she replied cautiously. 'Careful.' her conscience warned her. "From experience." Britney added in her defense. Justin nodded as an elderly man would. Wisdom was given to him.

Britney let her hand casually brush against Justin's as they walked. Justin was naive to her built up emotions. "Justin, you know we used to be rather close... back in the day." Britney whispered to him, trying to prevent Joey from hearing. She made sure he remained in the back of the group, continuing to joke with Irish. Justin nodded, keeping his eyes forward as they walked. He placed a hand in his pocket, feeling her body heat getting closer to his own. "Before Christina." Britney added sorely. Her eyes met the ground. Justin frowned with the comment. He grew tired of the constant reminder from Britney. "She was nothing... and remains nothing. We're not even friends now." Justin tried to close the case that remained a mystery to all of the Mickey Mouse Club members. Britney sighed again. "She tends to disagree Justin." Britney was relentless. Justin rolled his eyes. "She called the other day and I totally blew off an appearance at one of her concerts. I told her that I won't go through the same mess I went through back in the day. I'm not going to be looked upon by my friends as a 'traitor' or as Christina's 'toy'." Justin spoke with harsh overtone. He was emphasising an important point. The point finally reached Britney who let the topic die.

"Have you ever thought back to then?" she asked. She still took precaution with each word she chose. Justin took in his lower lip. "Sometimes." he mumbled out. Britney frowned. She flipped back her hair and watched the ground. "You've gotten over those feelings... right?" Britney questioned, her small voice reaching out for Justin's eyes. Justin leaned near her with an innocent expression. "He loves you more than I ever did or ever could, Brit. We've had our day... and things didn't work. I want him to be happy... but with you, babe. So for me, don't take that away from him." Justin said clearly and honestly. He left no emotion untouched. His love for Britney had kindled, but the flame never stayed. It was too brief for him to look back on and try to rekindle the flame.

Justin was not as ingenuous as she thought. She was amazed by his determination to keep Britney's affection in Joey's vicinity. She grasped Justin's hand and let a smile cross her lips again. "I am happy with him Justin." she assured him. Though Britney was strained in her relationship with Joey due to their stress on their sexual relationship, she still assured Justin. She was assuring the man who had become her brother. He was a constant watch over her happiness and well being. Justin hugged her tightly while walking. Britney began to accept the path life was giving her. She was unable to create her own roads, but she was able to alter the shape of the road.

Time and people shifted course at Lake Eola. After Justin and Britney's short discussion, Joey managed to lead his girlfriend in a different direction. Justin, J.C. and Irish were aware of their new chosen path, but continued to follow Chris and Meelah until they reached a dried up fountain in the park. They allowed Chris and Meelah to find a new path to walk, pretending to be tired to encourage them on. It did not take Chris much convincing before he was leading his girlfriend away from them.

Irish sat on the edge of the fountain with her knees pulled up. Her arms hugged her legs and her chin rested on the top of her knees. Next to her sat Justin. His marble blue eyes were watching the wind toy with the limbs of the trees. He felt relatively comfortable with his black leather jacket covering his beige Abercrombie & Fitch shirt. His outstretched legs were spread while Justin shifted his toes around in his black Saucony shoes. His ears were beginning to stir with a coldness from the wind. They were naked, missing their studded diamond earrings and the hoop earring Justin wore in the cartilage of his left ear. He took a second to look over to J.C. who sat on a bench in front of the fountain. J.C. was slouching on the bench with his arms supprting his upperbody. J.C. watched the motion of the grass in the wind. It was similar to a sullen dream he once had. He forced his mind to leave th daydream in an vacant part of his subconscious.

Justin released a low exhale. "Why do we fall in love?" Justin inquired unexpectedly. He was unsure if the question was sitting in his throat or if it was released from an undiscovered section of his psyche. J.C. turned his head a little. "To get hurt and relive it all over again." J.C. offered a response to Justin's notorious question. Justin felt J.C.'s reasons for his answer. "To learn from that there's always someone who understands you best." Irish replied carelessly. Her head lifted from her knees while she replied. Justin glanced over to her with curiosity. "Maybe it's to find something that you can't give yourself." Justin pondered, turning his body slightly so he could gape at the dried up fountain. "No, it's so we can understand the real meaaning of a 'soulmate'." J.C. disagreed mildly. Justin ignored J.C.'s sour feelings toward the topic. "I think it's so you can get married and raise a child to understand what you learned about love." Justin challeneged him softly. He crossed his arms and looked up to the candle-lit sky.

Irish split her attention from J.C. to Justin. She was confused by their separate interpretations of love, yet she could empathize with both terminologies. "Actually you two, it's so that you don't grow old and have nine cats in your house while watching Jenny Jones." Irish brought up her humorous rendition on love. Her statement brought out a long-standing laughter from Justin and J.C. It was amusing to them, just as watching 'There's Something About Mary' was.

Irish twitched her nose and turned her head up to the sky. "This Christmas season seems to be one of many revalations." Irish commented softly. She leaned back a little to get a full scope of the ethereal sky. A sigh disjoined her thick, plum lips. The wind carried her hair in a picturesque motion. "It's one filled with all sorts of surprises." J.C. agreed somberly. He crushed his brow, still perpetuating the complexity of his life. Justin did not want to answer the question. He was in a stage of quandary when it came to his marriage. It was not his place to reveal his feeling when his evidence was not enough for his heart. "I'm just glad I don't have to deal with Kevin." she confessed, taking her eyes from the sky and bringing them in Justin's direction. Justin felt her stare. He gazed over to her. "He's my cousin now, it comes with the papers." Justin explained. He had his subtle resentments toward Kevin, but not as deep as Irish's. "Lucky you." she commented sarcastically. J.C. giggled lowly. He shook his head and smiled. "You're still pissed about the European thing, huh?" J.C. questioned her without looking at her. Irish nodded with lasting bitterness. "And the whole Nick thing too. Of course Lance gets credit for that one too." Irish remarked. She pulled back her hair and let it hang over her back.

Justin adjusted his body. "Is there anyone you do like?" Justin asked with a grin. Irish thought over the question. She wasn't giving them any serious expression. "Britney!" she screamed out with a cackle. J.C. and Justin eyed her with interest rounding their eyes. "Oh, that's my girl. Me and her gt along really well... plus she wants to kick Leigh Ann Wallace's ass just as bad as I do." Irish explained herself after drownding in their stares. Justin shook his head while J.C. continued his odd gaze. "Britney's had the oppurtunity a couple of times." J.C. commented, falling out of the daze. Irish regarded him with respect. "And she's followed through." Justin reminded his friends. He had experienced both occassions when Britney was unable to control hre temper and he had listened to Joey's distaste with his girlfriend being violent. Irish crossed her legs and a broad smile lit her lips. She tapped her nails on the stone fountain. "Can you blame her for not liking Leigh Ann?" Irish asked a daring question that left Justin and J.C. silent.

J.C. pulled one leg up onto the bench. The wind lightly kissed his left cheek. "What about Chris?" J.C. stepped into a hidden area. Irish viewed him indifferently when the question crossed his lips. She arched her eyebrow perfectly. "Yeah... what are you and Misha's views on Chris seeing Meelah?" Justin asked a little louder. Irish licked her lips with a hint of nervousness. She looked down to her wrist, preparing to answer them. "He's a good guy." Irish finally spoke in an unclear tone. Justin sat up straighter. J.C. turned his body fully to regard her. "'A good guy'?" J.C. looked for a deeper explaination. Irish could sense that Justin and J.C. were going to analyze her words like Fraiser and Niles. The temptation was uninviting for her. Her perplexed eyes fell into her lap, avoiding the light of the interrogation. "Chris's better than just 'a good guy', but I'll never admit it to him. We... me and Misha have already thought of him as an addition to 702, just like we do with Ray J and Tony. The thing is... well Meelah's old boyfriend was close to us and when she broke up with him, that kind of put 702 through some drama. So me and Misha have stirred clear of getting close to a guy Meelah dates until after awhile." Irish explained her situation. She lamented exposing Meelah's preceding relationships to them, but she saw no other way out of the inquisition.

Her bronze skin faded from the light of examination from J.C. and Justin. Justin eased away from questioning her when he saw the twisted expressions she revealed while speaking. "At least you guys like Chris. He's such a pest for us." J.C. giggled, trying to create a mood of vivacity. Irish let loose a soft laughter. She flipped her hair back, leaving a few strands sitting on her face. "Like I said, he's a good guy." Irish chimed. Justin nodded with a kindred smile. He corresponded with Irish on Chris. Chris was truly a good natured person to each of his friends.

The wind was stiff and stifled. There was still an iciness in the air. Chris was holding Meelah's left hand while she cradled Busta in her right arm. They both watched the sky and stood in the center of the grassy area. Meelah's even, brownish-red hair was laying on the back of her neck. Chris's leather jacket was loose around her. She leaned closely to Chris who had many deliberations on his mind. He searched for a proper time to speak. He held a secret in his body and contemplated a suitable set of words to explain himself to his girlfriend. "It's really nice here." Meelah interrupted their silent staring. She felt Busta struggle a little in her arm for attention. The movement brought upon the drifting of their hands so that Meelah could pet Busta's fur.

Chris's sweaty hand fell to his side. The motion played to his advantage. "Yeah, it's real nice." Chris agreed softly. He pushed his left hand into his pocket. He kept his head up and erect while Meelah looked out into the vast area. "Uhm, Kameelah..." Chris began a long awaited statement. His voice seized Meelah's attention. Her brown eyes found his young face. She sensed a little nervousness in Chris's voice when he called her by her full first name. Chris lowered his head to eye level and gave Meelah a tense greeting. "You know how we won't be together for the holidays, right?" Chris asked inhis normal, yet lower voice. Meelah simply nodded for an answer. She kept a serious face, hoping Chris's solemnity was for good intentions. She swayed her hand over Busta's small head, still waiting. Patience was a virtue Meelah had mastered.

Chris's left hand slid out of his pocket. He clutched it tightly shut. Meelah watched him with the attention she gave to her favorite babydoll as a child. She made sure there were no imperfections in the way he presented himself. Chris raised his left hand awkwardly. "I wanted to give you your Christmas present since I won't see you again until the twenty-nineth." Chris said cautiously while opening his left hand. Meelah's stomach fluttered when she saw a small, marron velvet box in Chris's small hand. She was shakey. 'Lord, don't let it be...' her thoughts communicated quicker than her emotions. Chris held his hand still, trying to urge her to grab the box. He could see a frightened expression beginning to develop on her face. It disappointed Chris. Slowly his heart began to tear.

Chris lowered his hand and sighed loud enough for Meelah to hear. "It's just a present to let you know I love you... and I wanted us to keep going as we are." Chris stated briefly and solidly. Meelah frowned. 'Let down your guards girl.' she advised herself. Her hand raised and grabbed Chris's left one. She pulled the box from Chris's tight grip and cradled it in her hand. It was soft to the touch, like a baby's delicate skin. She fumbled it open with her nails and held it up to admire. Her eyes began to shine with relief and tenderness. She was appreciative to the sight.

Sitting in the small, velvet box amongst the gray lining was a thin, gold necklace with a golden locket attached it. The outside of the small, heart-shaped locket had the letter 'C' inscribed onto its face plate. It glimmered in the pale light of the moon. Meelah smiled knowing the "C" stood for Chris. She lowered herself to let Busta down to the ground and then stood up straight again so that she could further her exploration of the locket.

Meelah's right hand lifted the gold necklace from it's cradle in the box. Her delicate fingers toyed with the flimsy gold rope. Her eyes watched each graceful movement the locket made as Meelah held it up to eye level. It was worthy of royalty in her eyes. She lowered it again and pressed it into her smooth palm. She began to pry the two sides of the locket open to see what contents sat on the inside. With a small struggle between her manicured nails and the gold piece of jewelry, it finally parted for Meelah's admiration. Chris watched her every joyful expression as she gave birth to it. All thoughts of mortification faded from his mind. Her genuine smile pleased him profusely.

Meelah's lit brown eyes glowed while looking at the pictures in the two separate frames on the inside of the locket. A fuzzy grin slipped on her lips. On the left side of the locket was a picture of Chris in his solemn glory and on the right side was a photograph of Busta. Meelah was humored by the snapshot of Busta. She did not expect to see a picture of Chris's dog in the locket. She pressed her finger over Busta's picture, a giggling smirk still tickling her lips.

The cool air brought into her mind introspection preceding Chris giving her the locket. She was prepared to renounce the offering had it been something she did anticipate and was not ready for. She had seen the despondency in Chris's face when she was hesitant to accepting the present. She feared seeing an engagement ring in the sable, velvet box. She dreaded communicate any apprehensions toward Chris. Meelah knew the phase of marriage was a far stage for them even though they both felt they had been together for years. It was still unconceiveable for Meelah at the age of twenty-one. The trickling breeze reminded Meelah that her boyfriend, Chris, was twenty-eight years old. She comprehended that even men felt a point in their life where the union of marriage was waiting for them. Meelah contemplated the thought. 'Maybe he's at that point?' she concepted. It wasn't a deniable thought for her, but it was not a thought Meelah relished.

"Do you like it?" Chris's friendly voice finally asked the question that had been settled into his brain. Busta panted near Chris's feet, looking up to his master. He was jealous of the grand sum of attention Chris gave to his girlfriend. Meelah ultimately lifted her eyes from the locket and smiled at Chris. "I love it, Chris." Meelah stated warmly. Her tepid voice liquefied the frosty air of Orlando. Her words may not have expressed in abundance her appreciation of the gift, but Chris could feel her gratefulness. She stretched out her hand, offering the necklace for Chris to place on her. Chris gave her a tender grin. He carefully took the necklace into his small hands. Meelah slowly turned around so that her back was Chris. She pulled her arms up to draw her hair to the side of her instead of resting on her back. She adjusted Chris's leather jacket and then pulled it down a little to assist Chris.

Despite the past lonesome and misfortunate incidents Chris had been through with his career in 'N Sync, being invited to Cancun, Mexico and meeting Kameelah Williams were ahead of his loathing periods. He took two small steps forward and lifted the necklace. Chris strategically lifted the jewelry overtop Meelah's head and then brought it down to her neck. Chris laced the necklace around her neck so that the locket was suspend near her chest. Chris pulled the clasp and it's ring to the back of her neck where a few strands of her hair still rested. Chris was cautious not to catch her hair in the clasp while connecting the two pieces together. His usual clumsy nature hid as he perfectly fastened the clasp and ring conjointly. He admired the ochroid rope that laid against her mahogany skin. It was a flawless mix for his chestnut eyes. He placed his hand over her hair to signal her to release her mane. Meelah let go of her hair immediately and looked down to the pendant. She grabbed it in her fingers and began to toy with it. Chris kissed her cheek and remained behind her. He wanted to stay close. He nervously wrapped his arms around her waist. It was, at times, a foreign movement for Chris. Meelah gave the world a broad smile. "Merry Christmas, Chris." Meelah whispered, the gossamer wind grabbing her voice and echoing it among a few trees. Chris also smiled. "Merry Christmas to you too, Meelah." Chris replied with a whisper in her ear. He knew the next day that Meelah and Irish would be making a return to their hometown of Las Vegas, leaving the gap between them before Chris left for Pennsylvania to be with his own family for the holidays. December was an awkward month for goodbye's, but the inhabitants of Orlando were learning to become accustom to it.

Two people walked into Kay-Bee's Toy Store at the Florida Mall. There were two days left before Christmas Eve. The mall was still the birthing center for crowded shoppers. More and more, people wished for a 34th Street in Orlando. The two people stood near the door in the early morning. They were not rushed to deal with grouchy mothers, irritating children, ardent expecting mothers and obnoxious workers. Both were late in some of their shopping, too late to simply send out others to shop for them. The male of the two already held two bags in his hand from a stop at Abercrombie & Finch. His transparent blue eyes looked for a clear and safe isle to begin browsing on. The woman of greater age searched for a sluggish worker to help her own search. Her eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses while the male only wore a backwards black Panthers cap. It matched his attire of black so that he remained semi-hidden from the populace of the mall.

"Excuse me..." the woman's Southern drawl drew in the attention of an older, female employee. With the added stress of what journalists called 'The Christmas Rush', the worker was not thrilled to be stopping again to assist another customer. "Yes... ma'am?" the weary laborer answered her promptly, but without enthusiasm. She felt temptation to cross her arms and present an attitude, however she needed the money herself for the holidays. "I need to find presents in the five month to a year and a half range." the woman spoke with a little hint of demand in her tone. A sigh crossed the worker's lips, who's nametag read Kelly. "You might try this first aisle here and at the very back of the store." Kelly instructed her with her fatigued voice. Her hand lifted to point out the exact area for the woman. When she felt she had given out the best directions possible, she inertly returned to stocking more toys children had pulled down and knocked over.

The woman watched Kelly walk off with a scornful thought in her tropical blue eyes. "Gee Lynn, I don't think she took too kindly to you." another Southern accent fell from the man's lips. The woman with the immensly curly blonde hair who was identified as Lynn turn to him. She folded her arms with agitation running through her expression. "Maybe if I announced to her that I was shopping with Brian Littrell and I was his husband's mother, she would've rolled out the big, red carpet for me." Lynn retorted with a healthy amount of sarcasm. Brian Littrell was indeed out with Lynn Harliss in the early morning and neither could not afford to be recognized. Brian furrowed his brow while looking at her. Brian and Lynn shared many differences, but their common link to each other was their devotion to Justin. Brian was now shopping with Lynn so that they were able to discuss a few things alone and to come to a common ground before surprises ended their century. His mind was blinded from the words she said. He merely shrugged to bring more humor into their continuim and then walked with her toward the aisle the clerk informed them of.

The aisle was not intirely empty, but only one mother stood in it admiring several different Teletubbies toys. Lynn and Brian excused themselves past her and began to look at toys that were within the toddler and younger range. "This might be cute." Lynn commented while lifting a small Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. Brian nodded and observed it from Lynn's hands. "He might like that." Brian finally agreed verbally. Lynn shrugged at his response and held onto it. "Maybe something musical." Lynn advised, trying to lead Brian in the direction of some more toys. Brian followed her more experienced lead. "What did Justin like at his age?" Brian inquired as they moved further down the aisle. Lynn skimmed over a fwe toys, her mind sticking toward a Winnie the Pooh and Sesame Street theme. "Justin?" Lynn thought out the question carefully. She reminisced to the days when Justin was younger, smiling with her external expression. "Musical things." she giggled. Brian grinned. "Always the musician," Brian added. He grabbed a Mickey Mouse musical doll. He was fascinated by the toys. It brought back his own childhood memories of Christmas. It was a Candy Land for childern to run through a toy store and for Brian, it was euphoric. "This'll be nice." Brian said while holding onto the toy. Lynn didn't bother looking up while she inspected a few of the Fisher Price toys.

Brian made a stealth movement past her to where a display of books caught his attention. 'Maybe a book or two.' Brian thought while placing his bags on the floor. He made suer to stand close to his bags so they were not taken from him. He browsed over a few titles of the childrens books. He admired a couple of the Dr. Seuss titles, smiling as he again began to muse on the fond moments he shared with his mother Jackie while she read the books to him. He missed his mother and wished he could be with her for the Christmas holiday. He was experiencing many nostalgic moments in the store. He lifted a copy of 'The Butter Battle Book' and grinned heavily. His small hands fondle the book. It was another treasure for him in this place of priceless memories. He flipped open the book and began to look at the conversant illustrations. 'Aaaww, the memories...' Brian sighed to himself. His candy cotton shaded blue eyes fell in love with the feelings of the past.

"You might want to grab a copy of 'Green Eggs And Ham' to accompany that one." a familiar voice rung into Brian's ears. Brian's haed perked up and his eyebrow arched. Brian's head turned to the direction of the speaker. A slightly younger and friendly face greeted him. "Sebastian!" Brian exclaimed with excitement. Sebastian giggled when hearing Brian's chipper tone. Sebastian extended his hand for Brian to shake. "Hey Brian... what're you doing here?" Sebastian asked while finally grasping Brian's soft hand. Brian was still in a state of shock while shaking hands with Sebastian. Sebastian deduced Brian's reaction when feeling Brian's grip never loosening. He kindly pulled his hand back and Brian snapped from his unexpected trance. "Oh... I'm, uhm, shopping." Brian stuttered out while bringing his hand back down to his side. Sebastian showed intrigue in his smile. "Shopping eh? Kids?" Sebastian questioned in a humane way. Brian nodded, seeing he and Sebastian had not lost much ground since their last encounter. Brian lowered the book a little and glanced to see if Lynn aws approaching their area. "And what are you doing here?" Brian finally unleashed his own question. He brought his view back to Sebastian. He made a quick once-over of Sebastian. He had not lost any of his physical aspects. Brian prayed that the HIV virus had not taken a strong toll on Sebastian. "Me? Well if you haven't noticed the red shirt yet... I work here!" Sebastian chimed, laughing afterward. Brian finally noticed the nametag lazily hanging onto Sebastian's shirt and saw the Kay Bee Toys emblem stitched onto the shirt. Brian was finally clued in. He giggled at his own mistake. "So you've got a good job now?" Brian asked, trying to catch up on what he's missed with Sebastian. He lowered the book to his side. "I've got a pretty decent job here... and sometimes I intern at an office building to help out." Sebastian ersponded with a fairly chipper sound.

Brian turned a little to look at the selection again. "So you're handling things, uhm pertty well?" Brian inquired with his sincere Southern intonation. Sebastian nodded. "They're going pretty well for me. I'm just trying to make it through the holidays like everyone else." Sebastian replied with a little bit of somber running through his voice. He watched Brian acutely. Brian turned his head a little and smiled at Sebastian. "And I'm sure you're looking forward to the new millennium." Brian remarked coyly. Sebastian laughed prominently. "Not really... since we're all going to die from Y2K, I figure this HIV thing will be a piece of cake." Sebastian joked on his own situation. Brian fumbled a smirk. "Maybe." he said in simple terms. Sebastian looked over the range of things Brian had picked out. "Well you're obviously not shopping for your husband." he commented while still checking out the merchandise. Brian pouted his lips a little. "I've bought Justin some things... but right now I'm uhm shopping for my little brother... and uh, yeah." Brian became faulty in his speech. He saw Sebastian's shifty eyes that read through doubt and lies. Sebastian raised his brow. Brian gave him a shakey grin.

Lynn sgtrolled into the back area the two stood in. "Have you found enough things yet?" Lynn asked Brian, oblivious to Sebastian's presence. Brian felt saved for a moment. "Uhm, I've got a couple of things... yeah." Brian responded slowly. Lynn looked over what Brian had accumulated. "Hmmm, are you sure that'll be enough?" Lynn questioned. Brian caught another glare from Sebastian. He nodded quickly. "Yeah, maybe a couple of more things would be good." Brian agreed. Lynn eyed Brian with puzzlement. "Do you want me to help you find anything?" Sebastian offered. His voice caused Lynn to spin around on her heels to see who was speaking. Her golden locks flopped before she aws finished turning. Sebastian gave her an unsure look. Lynn returned the look with suspicion. "Oh, please forgive my rudeness. Sebastian, this is my mother-in-law, Mrs. Lynn Harliss. Mom, this is Sebastian... me and Justin met him at the clinic two months ago." Brian stated to break the ice between the two staring individuals. Lynn was the first to offer her hand to end their stares. "Nice to meet you Sebastian." Lynn spoke with her hefty accent. Sebastian grasped her hand and shook it lightly. "You too Mrs. Harliss." Sebastion responded cordially. Lynn finally lost her bewildering look, but kept suspicion alive in her thoughts.

Lynn drew her hand from his and then backed away a little. "So you work here eh?" Lynn kept their conversation moving. Sebastian nodded, remaining shy toward her. "Well then maybe you can help my son-in-law advance in his shopping so we can get out of here before the mob breaks loose." Lynn requested in a benevolent way. Sebastian laughed a little. "I can try and help... it depends on what he's looking for or who he's shopping for?" Sebastian stated with a more professional voice. He gave Brian his curious grin. Brian turned a new shade of red. "Oh he hasn't told you much then?" Lynn turned her haed slightly to give Brian a contemptuous gaze. Brian's head drooped. "No, he hasn't." Sebastian tried to speak up. Brian nibbled his lower lip infrequently. Lynn shook her head at him. She was disappointed and slightly jaded.

Brian lifted his head a little. His chisled cheeks flexed befoer his lips began to move. "Uhm Sebastian, they're some things about me and Justin you should know about." Brian finally found the nerve to speak up. Sebastian gave him a straight face. He was curious, but he muffled it. He wanted to give the imperssion of a solemn man. "Let's walk and talk." Brian advised, lifting his bags and then grabbing the other items he had picked out. Lynn and Sebastian assisted him. All three began a new walk down a different aisle with Brian explaining to Sebastian more recent events in his life.

It was now mid-afternoon as Lance Bass walked down a hall of the Orlando Zomba and BMG offices. He walked casually. He was in no rush. He was also without a smile. He remained aimless in his activity. He was not shy in waving to a few familiar office workers and lawyers. He reached a section of offices that he had been habitual in viewing. He had a small smile on his face when walking toward the door he searched for. He was leaving for Mississippi in less than seven hours and he wanted to make his final round of goodbye's. He had already given his friends fond farewells through phone conversations and a light lunch with Mandy, Veronica, Justin, and Joey.

Now he had come to a part he was indifferent toward. He was going to have to say goodbye to Bryce. The strength and audacity he needed to do such a thing was difficult to conceive. 'Come on Lance... you've got to do this.' Lance was once again trying to coax himself. Between J.C. and Bryce, Lance felt no confidence existed in his body. After receiving three messages from Bryce on his voice mail, Lance was now attempting to reply in person. He felt like Charlie Brown when sent to find the Christmas tree for the holiday play. He was unable to find anything to his liking. There aws nothing that met his requirements. His thoughts were surrounded by glaciers that were named J.C., Nick and Bryce. He had confessed his love for J.C.; he had denied his heart to Bryce, but took Bryce's virginity; he felt compassionate for Nick again because he knew Nick only lied to J.C. to retain J.C.'s love. All three men gave Lance more than enough reasons to seek refuge in his home in Clinton. And yet one other person remained distant from Lance's life. Lance however was not disappointed, but bewildered. He felt it was a timely and missed love affair that he could not dwell upon.

Lance sighed. His hand lifted and he tapped loudly on Bryce's office door. 'Let's hope for the best.' Lance tried to cajole his emotions. He received no answer at the door or from inside. His yellow-green eyes stared hard at the door. 'Where is he?' Lance pondered. His hand naturally reached down to the knob and twisted it. It was instinct for Lance to become curious toward Bryce. He pushed a little before the door breezed open. Lance released the knob and glanced into the office.

Shock, curiosity and mystification hit Lance's brain with one impulse. His eyes blinked, trying to see if maybe he was viweing illsuions before his eyse. He hoped it was possible that he was only seeing mirages and his vision was failing him. The office was almost barren. The desk and chair that Lance and Bryce experienced while making love still remained. The computer was gone. All telephones were removed. Two boxes sat in the room, one on the floor and one on the floor under the desk. All of Bryce's pictures and other personal effects had departed from the office. None of his papers and contracts were left. It was a brand new looking office to Lance's eyes. A small radio sat on the desk playing a semi-familiar tune. He could haer Natalie Maines voice bring out words that related to the situation Lance was living in. The sounds of a lone guitar led on the path in which Lance was finding himself in. Things were becoming relatively clear to him. Bryce was gone.

Ain't no talkin to this man

Ain't no pretty other side

Ain't no way to understand the stupid words of pride

It would take an acrobat

And I already tried all that

I'm gonna let him fly, mmm

Lance turned a little and leaned in the doorway. Guilt filled his conscience while taers and misunderstanding filled his eyes. He had failed himself. No one else but Chris knew of the affair, so he could not have failed his family. Lance, however, had failed Bryce. He drew him in like a spider does to a fly. He spun his web of attraction and he trapped Bryce. He had done it all. No one could take the blame except for Lance. He was given many choices, many roads and many chances. Once again, he had ruined it.

He sniffled a little. He still couldn't comprehend everything. It aws hitting him too quickly. "Hey Charlie, call down to the studios and see what's going on with that copy of Blaque's remix I requested!" Johnny Wright's voice sifted through the hall as he approached. Lance straightened up a little and held back his tears a little longer. He cleared his throat and struggled to remove the lump from his throat. He rubbed his red nose and turned his head in Johnny's direction.

"Oh, hey there Lance! What're you doing here at the offices? Aren't you checking out today?" Johnny asked with exclaimation in his sound. Lance didn't reply. He couldn't grasp the voice he needed to approach Johnny. "Yeah, I'm leaving later on. And I see someone else has done a little checking out." Lance remarked with a little authority. Johnny puzzled Lance's words befoer noticing Lance aws standing the doorway of Bryce's office. He frowned at Lance. "So... what... what happened? He asked for a new assignment? He's working in a new city now?" Lance asked with a stutter. Johnny shook his head. "No Lance, that's not it. Mr. Winters is no longer with Wright Entertainment Group. He's been fired." Johnny boldly stated. He noticed the gripping tears in Lance's eyes, but ignored them to remain professional with Lance. The industry was filled with heartache, including his divorce from wife Donna Wright. "He was fired!" Lance's voice raised as his body slid off the doorway. He aws confused, but anger was rising inside of him. Johnny nodded with no inhabitions. "Why? On who's say so?" Lance asked quickly. His eyes held onto the tears with a struggle. "On my say so." Johnny sternly responded. Lance's mouth fell down a little. His heart raced with betrayel. "Why? Why did you fire him Johnny?!" Lance continued to question him. He refused to retire from his interrogation until he found the answers he needed to continue.

Johnny wrinkled his brow. He felt no reservation in words forming in his mind. "I fired him Lance because he knows the rules. He knows what is tolerated and having sexual intercourse in his office is not. And having sex with a client... an important client named Lance Bass is a direct sin around here. And he disobeyed the rules and he's been punished. There's no escaping that. He's done wrong and now Bryce Winter's is gone." Johnny said with a force that left Lance distraught. Johnny backed away a little and awaited Lance's response. Lance was dumbfounded. Johnny knew that Bryce had slept with Lance. There was no denial in Lance's mind that somehow Johnny was informed. Once again it was Lance's own clumsiness that brought fault.

"It... it wasn't his fault. I did it. I came onto him... I started this whole thing and I fucked him! It's not his fault. You can't punish him." Lance barked at Johnny. He was hurt by a man he thought of as a father figure. He relived the pain of separation between business and life. Johnny again shook his head at Lance. "He could have refused you Lance. He could have kept it secret and not have had sex in a public office such as this one. Had anyone connected to a tabloid or reporting business been around here, you and 'N Sync would have been fucked over. Bryce didn't think of you and your career. Bryce could have separated business and pleasure. He could have kept his dick in his pants." Johnny chastised Lance. Each raise of his voice brought another tear to the pile Lance had formed in his green eyes. He felt hopeless. "Don't do this to me Johnny! Don't take him away. Don't make him suffer because of me." Lance pleaded with him. He wanted mercy. He wanted understanding. He wanted someone to forgive him for destroying another attempt at love. "You did this to yourself Lance. Bryce is gone." Johnny responded without guilt. He collected his own thoughts and walked away from Lance.

Things can move at such a pace

The second hand just waved goodbye

You know the light has left his face

But you can't recall just where or why

So there was really nothing to it

I just went and cut right through it

I said I'm gonna let him fly, ooh yeah

There's no mercy in a live wire

No rest at all in freedom

Choices we are given

It's no choice at all, uh huh

The proof is in the fire

You touch before it moves away, yeah

But you must always know how long to stay

And when to go

Lance's heart shuddered. His eyes finally let go of the tears he held onto. They became the rain to his fire. His face fell into it's pale complexion. His body shivered. His conscience prayed for repentance. His heart fell into another void. The taers ran down his cheeks and Lance did not attempt to wipe them away. His thoughts were too scrattered to control any of his physical actions. As his body slid down the wall, he felt nauseous. He drew up his knees and pulled them close to his chest. He sniffled loudly and uncontrollably.

Lance felt Natalie empathizing with his situation. He knew what he had to do. He didn't want to. He refused to admit to his heart that he was going to, but his mind already held the thought. He had to let Bryce go. Bryce had to be the one that Bryce freed of his agony and his regret. Bryce had to be the one that Lance let fly. Lance owed him that much. He owed him the chance to move on without the guilt, the memorise or the scars. It hurt Lance more than realizing that he had hurt Bryce, but it was necessary. Sufferage brought life. The tears held their own words while the lyrics and the battle continued on.

And there ain't no talkin' to this man

He's been tryin to tell me so

It took awhile to understand

The beauty of just letting go

Cause it would take an acrobat

And I already tried all that

I'm gonna let him fly

I'm gonna let him fly - fly, whoa

I'm gonna let him fly - fly

Oh, I'm, I'm gonna let him fly

"That was 'Let Him Fly' from the Dixie Chicks." the DJ announced from the small radio on Bryce's former desk. The room was now stiffled in a cold atmosphere. Lance's head was ersting in his arms as he continued to cry. "It's such a sad song, but such a good one. We hope that you have a good Christmas holiday and that you have that special someone to share it with." the DJ added, leaving an ironic feeling in Lance.

J.C.'s room was filled with clothing that aws mixed around and a few suitcases. The condominium was relatively quiet. Acitivity was slowly becoming rushed. Chris was gone, his suitcases left with him. Soon the condominium would be empty. No one would occupy it for the holidays.

One piece of luggage sat on J.C.'s king-sized bed. It was gradually being filled with clothing and personal products. J.C. stuffed one of his brushes into a side compartment before looking for the appropriate place to stick his Old Navy sweater. His plane left in two and a half hours and J.C. only had one more suitcase to fill while two others awaited him. He was calm and relaxed in the process. He already had his carry-on bag filled with presents for his family. The excitement he felt was uncontrollable. He was anxious to see his brother and sister again and his parents. It had only been a month, but it had accumulated to enough time for J.C.

"Hey Josh, can I take this A&F shirt with me?" Nick requested when he stepped into the room holding a bright ornage Abercrombie & Finch shirt. J.C. did not bother looking up. His mind was occupied with more important thoughts and deliberations. "Yeah, go ahead Nick." J.C. agreed to it without much acknowledgement. Nick gave his boyfriend an odd stare. He pushed back his blonde bangs and then grumbled. "You didn't even look at the shirt." Nick brooded with him. J.C. groaned and then made a quick glance up. "Yes, go ahead." J.C. hissed toward him and then returned his attention to packing. Nick furrowed his brow. He crumbled the ensd of the shirt in his hands. "What is your prob'?" Nick questioned with an implication of anger. J.C. simply rolled his eyse and folded another sweater.

Nick took a seat on the edge of the bed and watched his boyfriend. He deliberated on what troubled J.C. He tried to figure out a complex equation and pondered if he was a part of the problem or the solution. J.C. gave a small glance up and saw Nick staring profusely at him. He looked back down and shook his head. A moment aws drawing near for him. Nick reached his hand out and tried to touch J.C.'s. J.C. allowed it while looking for the next article of clothing to slide into his bag. Their hands touched, Nick's ontop of J.C.'s. J.C. did not mind the warm touch, but he knew it would not last long. Nick pet his smooth skin with affection. He was going to miss the touch again.

"Nickie, I need a break." J.C. spoke up in a sober way. Nick retracted his hand and shrugged. "Okay, so stop packing and come over here and cuddle with me!" Nick cheered, laying back on the bed. He stretched his tall form over the bed. J.C. looked up for a third time, this time with disappointment ringing his eyes. "No Nick, I mean a break. I mean from you. I mean from us as a couple... as boyfriends." J.C. corrected Nick. He was gravely serious. Nick's body snapped up quickly and with horror. He eyed J.C., praying it was a sick joke. He watched J.C.'s harden face. Nick couldn't fight it. J.C. was serious. "Why Josh? What's wrong?" Nick asked quickly, wanting to reach out for J.C.'s hand again. It wasn't there. It had slid into J.C.'s pocket. J.C. eased away from his suitcase, seeing Nick eyeing his every move. He crossed over to his dresser and kept his back to Nick. "I know that Lance called me before ya'll went on tour. I know he called me to tell me he loved me and felt the same for me... and I know you erased that message." J.C. stated clearly. Nick felt a lump rising in his throat. The moment he tried to avoid, tried to hide and tried to live without had arised. He was now going to be confronted with something he was guilty of.

Nick brushed a few strands from near his eye. "He told you." Nick said softly. "Not in so many words... but you just told me now." J.C. responded, revealing to Nick that he was being set up in a way. Nick's eyes fell down to the satin sheets covering J.C.'s bed. He was ashamed. J.C. turned around again. He gazed at Nick and could feel no sympathy climbing in his body or soul. "I know you did it out of love Nickie, but it was still wrong. It only shows me that you're not confident in my love for you. You're not sure that I love you. You believe that him telling me that he loves me is enough to break what we have... or had." J.C. stated. He was disgusted, but he did not show it. He tried to make the break as painless as possible. He did not know it was similiar to sending Nick to Antartica with just a match to keep warm.

Nick looked up. He didn't look at J.C.'s eyes. That was the last thing Nick wanted to see. He would only see the mirror of disgrace. "I..." Nick couldn't find the words to lie. He did not want to lie to J.C., anymore. He simply stopped himself. J.C. waited. He gave Nick an oppurtunity for defense. "Do you still love him like he loves you?" Nick only wanted one question answered. He only had one thought. It was the same thought that caused him to erase the message from Lance. It was not a justification. "That's none of your concern. I can't love someone who shows doubt in my love for them. Ask Lance about that." J.C. replied with a bitter tongue. Nick nodded, taking the chastisement as it came.

J.C. walked back over to the bed. He zipped up his suitcase quickly. "Well I can handle a break... I'm sure once we both get back to Orlando, we'll fix things." Nick agreed to J.C.'s request. The pain inside of him begged for tears. Nick refused. He let his tears freeze like water upon an icy road. 'I can wait for him.' Nick said within his mind. He was declaring his love. He suffered through pain that was far greater and he couldn't fight his faults. He stood from the bed and walked toward the door. "No, Nick." J.C. said, causing Nick to stop. Nick turned slightly to puzzle out J.C.'s words. "I'll let you know when or if I'm ready to start this over... but it won't be when we get back here. We need ample time to deal with this." J.C. declared.

Nick's heart felt the knife slitting it open. He felt the blood running upstream and somehow filling his eyes. The sharp pain made Nick hunch over a little. J.C. was not making this as easy as Nick wanted it. Nick wasn't given cotton candy, he was given liver. He was being sent to the cold, but there was no date of return. He looked at J.C. with the pressure to cry, to plead and to break down. He erfused to give in. His bottom live trembled. His hands gripped into fists to prevent shaking. He sniffled softly. He knew with enough time, he could lose J.C. 'Love is for fools.' Nick thought to himself while watching his lover continue on. He could not understand how J.C. could be so coldhearted. He couldn't see how the illusion of a true, loving man had faded into this. He had lost the battle.

Nick walked out of the room without speaking another word to J.C. Pain prevented him from speaking and crying out. Only silence guided his route. Nick didn't even find the strength to kiss J.C. goodbye or hug him. It aws now beyond him. He was now an invalid. J.C. wasn't goinhg to reach out to him or call him back. He had betrayed J.C. and now he could feel the feelings he felt when he betrayed Lance.

J.C. could hear Nick leave the condo with a slamming of the front door. He sighed softly before feeling the tears finally break from his eyelids. He sniffled haevily, finally giving into his suffering. "I'm sorry Nickie..." J.C. whimpered out, tears hitting the top of his suitcase. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. He slammed his fist into his suitcase. He felt just as weak as Nick did. His heart weeped for acceptance. He did not want to remember Nick's appearance in the hospital where Nick confessed his love for J.C. He did not want to remember seeing Nick's face when they made love for the first time. He only wanted December and the century to end.

The snow of recent events clouded his mind, but not his judgement. Logic showed him the right and just decisions to make and breaking tise with Nick was one of them. He only regretted ending it days before Christmas. He couldn't wait. He couldn't hold Nick anymore. He could not look at him and know what he thought and how he felt. It was unimagineable. Now he was free. He didn't feel any satisfaction in the freedom of those thoughts. There was too much pain. J.C.'s eyes began to retreat from crying. He had to be strong for another week and another year. He rubbed away the tears from his suitcase and lifted it. Memories came and went for him, only the painful ones left inscriptions.

Justin Littrell pranced through the kithcen of his Orlando home with a black Fu Man Skeeto shirt on and white sweat pants on. His white socks skid over the tiling. He held a strawberry Blow Pop in his mouth and carried a copy of Teen People in his hands. He hummed 'You Missed Out' while lolling over to the kitchen table. He dropped the magazine onto the table and pulled out a chair. He scratched his side and ceased humming the song while looking down at the cover of the magazine. Standing seductively on the cover of the issue was Christina Aguilera. Her platinum blonde hair was slightly shagged out and her outfit consisted of leather. It was trampish, but appealing to the male readers and the female wannabe's. Justin hummed again while looking at her awkwardly. She was a thorn in his past and his future. Christina was not an egnima to Justin. Her intentions for Justin were quite clear. 'She just wants a night where dick meets pussy for the first time between us.' Justin thought with disgusted and vulgar expressions. Justin rejected the idea with infamy. He removed his lollipop from his mouth and wrinkled his lips toward Christina's picture. "Sorry Christ', but me and you will never be." Justin verbally denied the picture of Christina what she wanted. He placed his Blow Pop back into his mouth, releasing a sigh before he did so. He was plagued by memories of his past. He dreaded any memorise containing Britney and Christina's battle to win his heart. It was a public battle, informing Nikki, J.C., Keri, Dale and the other MMC members of false tales and fictious realities.

Justin slid into the chair he had pulled out and began to flip through the magazine. He quickly bypassed the useless commercial advertisements to look for interesting articles. He heard some barking coming from a nearby room. He recognized the bark with a smile. "Come here BJ!" Justin called out to his dog. He lifted his head to see if his dog would come as called. 'Maybe she's upstairs with Bri?' Justin pondered, seeing that BJ did not rush into the kitchen. He shrugged.

Justin's orchid blue eyes glanced around the table. He aws not hasty about returning his attention to the magazine. The table was cleared except for a stack of mail that Brian and Justin had yet to sift through. Justin did not look forward to paying bills until after Christmas. His eyes found Brian's black cell phone sitting on the table. He watched as the digits on the screen blinked at a steady pace. He giggled to himself. 'Check your messages once in awhile Brian.' Justin said to himself. Justin reached out and grasped the phone in his hands. He pulled it to where he was. He took a second to looked down at his silver watch to check the time. He scratched his growing goatee and then exhaled softly. He lifted the phone up and began to dial the number for Brian's voice mail. He scratched his left ear before putting the phone to his ear. He listened to the automated voice informing him of the correct buttons to push. Justin was bored listening. He dialed in the proper numbers needed and then pressed the phone back to his ear. He let his shoulder assist him while listening and then began to flip through the magazine once more. He heard three non-interesting messages from Brian's management company, the Firm and then a quick holiday message from Lance. He smiled knowing his friend remained legitimately amicable toward Justin's husband.

'Uhm, hello Brian. It's uhm, it's Joey. I'm just calling to make sure you're coming by today to see... well him. He's been wondering about you actually. I hope it's not Justin who's keeping you from coming over here. You said you were going to handle that problem... you remember? Any uhm way, please make it a point to drop by. You know I hate keeping this secret from Justin. He's... he's my best friend man and if he knew you were doing this, he'd lose his mind. I don't want to keep this secret much longer, so please handle Justin like you said you were going to. You shouldn't do this to him, but like you said, it's for the best. It'll be much easier on everyone I think. But, uh, well just come on by. I'm rambling. See ya.'

Justin felt cold. His heart was feeling irregular. He was confused, but his reasoning led him in another direction. He knwe what he believed. He wanted to ignore it, but his was unable to. He had conceived the thought and now he was stranded. 'God, please rid me of these thoughts.' Justin prayed. His mind was becoming a complex of musing of deceit, dishonor and sin. He could feel a headache rippling through his brain. 'He's not... he's not... he is not having an affair. Brian would not cheat on you.' Justin tried to convince himself. He was failing. He could not find feelings that were evident. He tried to reason, but reason was without definition.

"I've got to call Joey. I have to know what's going on." Justin insisted. He clicked off Brian's cell phone and carelessly dropped it onto the table. Anger was being added to his mixtuer of betrayel and agony. The young eighteen year old stood from the table and rushed to where the remote phone sat. His rush caused the chair to tip and barely catch itself with gravity's momentum. He didn't want to communicate with Joey over Brian's phone. He no longer wanted to see the phone for it was the barrier of bad news for Justin. His walk was hasty. He controlled all urges to break down and cry. He knwe it was not the time. The oppurtunity was given, but Justin rejected it.

Justin ripped up the phone and clicked the 'on' button. He quickly brought it to his hear to check for a dial tone. As he did, two voices were heard. He wasn't going to call Joey. He couldn't when he heard his mother, Lynn Harliss, and his husband, Brian Littrell, talking. It was a serious aura that did not permit Justin to hang up. Curiosity was his flaw. He wanted clues, reasons for why his husband was having an affair. He desired an explaination for lies and secrets. His one piece of evidence remained on Brian's voice mail, but he sought another in Brian's conversation with Justin's mother.

"...I know mom. This hard been a very hard thing to keep from Justin." Justin could hear Brian's voice. 'She knows?' Justin was astonished for a minute before true treason manifested itself. His eyebrow arched and he continued to listen with a sharp ear and a alert mind. "You don't know how hard it has been keeping this from my son Brian... from your husband." Lynn reminded him with a hint of agitation. Justin shivered. "It'll all be over soon mom. Er, well I guess I won't be calling you that anymore." Brian sighed into the phone. "No Brian, I guess not. On special occasions, feel free to though." Lynn answered him stiffly. "Yeah, that's true." Brian agreed somberly. Justin's hands girated with a shiver. He couldn't control his own bodily functions. His mind was warped with suffering. "But you have to get Justin to sign that paper Brian. I don't want him walking into the New Year without signing that paper. It has to be a fresh start." Lynn forced out her words to Brian. 'The divorce papers.' Justin concluded. He felt a tear wrestling with his eyelid. "I'll be sure to have him sign it tomorrow Lynn. I just don't want to throw it in his lap right now." Brian commented meekly. Justin ran his large hand through his blonde highlights in his brown hair. He held in whimpers and fought tears. "Okay, but be sure to." Lynn insisted with a motherly expertise.

Justin was shaking his head. He stared down to his feet. He couldn't fight and listen simultaneously. Tears finally began to dribble from his eyelids. 'Why?' he questioned repeatedly in his mind. "Well I hope this does make you happy Lynn... I mean all of this." Brian searched for praise. There aws a small pause. "Actually Brian, it does. I've wanted this all along, but I just felt it would be wrong to express it to you and Justin. Especially Justin." Lynn stated, clarifying her situation. Brian let a small sigh enter the phone. At one point, Justin savoerd the sigh. He savored laying his head on Brian's chest and hearing him breathe. Justin took pleasure in it. Now that sigh signified pain and wrath. "Don't worry Brian... even after this, I know you'll always be number one in Justin's heart." Lynn tried to comfort her son-in-law. Her words were significantly true to Justin. He found it hard to picture life without Brian. More tears filled his tearducts, but Justin held onto them as he would a hand. "I had better get going Lynn. I've got to go see him." Brian spoke up, ending his silence. "Justin?" Lynn questioned with her own pure inquisitiveness. Justin covered his mouth with his hand to hold onto aq whimper that tickled his throat. "No." Brian flatly responded. Justin's frown grew in size. He pulled the phone away to sniffle. "Oh, him." Lynn's disappointment was drowned in despair. Justin ached hearing his mother. 'How could she...' a tormented statement ran through his mind, trying to escape to his lips.

Justin forced himself to pull the phone away from his ear. He clicked the 'off' button to end a period of agony. He sniffled while tears fell in silence. His face was flushed and his eyes were beginning to become puffy. He briskly wiped away tears that remained on his face. In his heart, he had to be strong until he knew the truth. The conviction was still in his mind. He was unforgiving. He felt Brian's heart belonging to someone else, someone that was foreign to Justin. Justin couldn't deny it was pain that kept him in a still position. His differences with Brian were always solved, never left without reason. Brian had always stood by him with the fondest appreciation. Now he couldn't imagine Brian holding him anymore. A marriage that only saw close to half a yaer of life, was feeling repucussions. Each and every feeling Justin felt were being released inside with no way to break through the barrier to reach the outside. Only sniffles and dancing tears spoke the words Justin did not share with Brian, the man who brought his heart life and the man who took a vow to love him until death.

It was the morn of Christmas Eve. The dawn had already undressed it's wonders onto Orlando's land and sky. There was a warm fragrance in the air as tempatures rose mildly. There was still a atristic chill breathing in the air. That chill caused Amanda Latona to shiver a little. 'Only bitter bitches like Leigh Ann should be out here.' Amanda thought to herself, sitting on the porch of her boyfriend's home. She reclined in a comfortable chair. She brushed a strand of hair from her ocean blue eyes to watch a few trees sway in the light wind. She wanted to sigh, but the desire was not great enough for her lips. A.J. had awaken her early and she awnted to sleep. She did not find the oppurtunity to go visit Kevin, seeing that he did not come home befoer her and A.J. retired to A.J.'s room. 'Maybe the lucky bastard had a late night with Nikki.' Amanda shrugged off possibilites. She was thrilled for her friend. Every time she saw the light in Kikki's eyes when discussing Kevin, she reminisced on the days she gleamed when speaking of A.J. There were nothing but faded, gray pictures in her mind now. She saw different shades of A.J. now, but she did not comply with all of them.

She heard the sliding door open, causing her to startle. She looked back, watching A.J. step outside with two glasses in hand. "Isn't it beautiful out here." A.J. awed while looking out to the dense landscape. Amanda curled her lip and raised her eyebrows. "If you say so Alex." Amanda replied with a cocky manner. A.J. wrinkled his face. "Oh you're just going to be a sprinkle of sunshine when the baby's born." A.J. sarcastically said, passing Amanda her glass. Amanda snickered and grabbed the glass. She handled it delicately. He looked down into to see it's contents. It was apple juice. "I'm allowed to bitch." Amanda hummed. "And such a cute tongue. Does your fianc‚ allow you to talk like that?" A.J. asked in mockery. Amanda took a small sip of her juice, but quickly lowered it and swallowed. "My what?" Amanda questioned without reservation. A.J. had a natural ability to baffle her. A.J. smiled, Cheshire-like. "Oh, didn't I tell you?" A.J. played coy with her. Amanda's blue eyse rolled with games. "Tell me what?" Amanda wondered. She couldn't reject curiosity. "Gee, it's a good thing I made this protein drink, I might not have the strength to say it later on." A.J. chimed, taking a sip from his glass. Amanda gripped her glass tightly. "Say what? Alex, stop talking like your Dr. Seuss and spit it out." Amanda demanded, her lips pouting. A.J. continued to grin and walked aimlessly around. "Well Sam I am, I do love to aet green eggs and ham." A.J. cooed toward her, leaning on the railing of the porch. Amanda puckered her lips and then slouched a little greater. She pulled her red, zip-up hoddy tighter. Her glossy white nails tapped the edge of the glass.

A.J. could see that she was not impressed, but his grin remained prominent. "So did I tell you I want to marry you on February 14th in the year 2000?" A.J. boasted out, still grasping onto his grin. Amanda's glass was no longer tight in it's grip. It fell from her hands and met with the ground, shattering loudly on contact. The contents spilled over the concerte like rain drops. Her body naturally jumped while her mind was still deaf to reality. A.J. lowered his brow. He quickly moved to her side and knelt on his knees to where the glass had broke. Amanda finally awoke to reality and saw the glass pieces glimmering on the ground. "Gee Amanda, now you're becoming a klutz too?" A.J. declared with a hefty amount of sarcasm. He started to bring some of the larger pieces of glass together, trying not to slice his hands.

Amanda pulled a section of her hair behind her ear and watched A.J. "A.J., it's Christmas Eve and I'm not in the mood for jokes." Amanda said coldly. A.J. looked up at her with doubt. "Okay and since I haven't made a joke in the last two minutes, there's no reason to bitch." A.J. remarked. Amanda was overwhlemed. "And since I'm down here anyways..." A.J. added, reaching into his pocket from his position. Amanda watched him without failing eyes. She concentrated as a twenty-four carat, solid diamond ring glowed while being pulled from A.J.'s pocket. Amanda was beginning to shiver again, this time with pride. Tears were becoming a common thing in Orlando. Whether for joy, loss, sorrow or pride, they were common and in abundance. "Since I'm not as poetic as someone like Kevin or as sentimental as someone like Brian... I'll make it plan. Amanda, would you like to slap the ol' name McLean on the back of yours in February?" A.J. asked with his suave charm. He grabbed Amanda's left hand while asking her and slid the ring on her finger when the words ended. Amanda only watched him. She couldn't speak. Even though it was not poetic and sentimental, it was A.J. and Amanda loved A.J. "Well... in the words of Amanda Latona... yes." Amanda replied, stuttering and sniffling while speaking. Tears caressed her cheeks as she spoke and smiled. A.J. watching the glittering tears fall with rapture. He held her left hand tightly, trying not to shed tears himself. Seeing the pride in her face brought on taers that he held back.

A.J. stood, still holding her hand. The floating air stroked his back. He toyed with a strand of her hair while admiring her. She, in turn, admired the ring on her finger. A.J. leaned down and kissed the top of his fianc‚e's head. He brushed her hair and then leaned down a little to look into her beautiful blue eyes. A smile laid on her lips and her cheeks. She sniffled again and laughed a little. "We're getting married." she giggled out. A.J. nodded. He knew she was still in a perplex state of shock. "We'll be Mr. and Mrs. McLean." A.J. responded, placing his other hand on her stomach. Amanda looked down to her pregnant belly and laughed again. "The baby will be here by then." she remarked softly. A.J. nodded again, rubbing her stomach tenderly. Amanda was a delicate flower in his hands. "It dosen't matter." A.J. shrugged, thinking solely of his child. He wanted his child to walk through life with pride knowing that he or she had both parents supporting the child through life. He refuse to know his child would berate his or her parents for not being married. A.J. did not want to part from Amanda under any circumstances. She was what others would call 'the real thing'. Despite temptation and cheating, A.J. couldn't resist what he found in Amanda. And now he wanted to see that aspect of her for the rest of his breathing days. A.J. leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to Amanda's to seal the agreement. It was enough for both and they were both ready for the lifetime commitment.

A key jiggled in the front door of A.J. and Kevin's house. Soon the knob began to turn and the door was quietly opened. It was only ajar for a second, barely moving much. As the figure slipped in, the door was closed silently again. It was Nikki DeLoach. Her brown hair was pulled up into a tight bun that allowed pices of her hair to sprout outward and her outfit was basic for her. She carried a wrapped gift in her hand and a bright smile on her face. She did not call out for anyone, fearing everyone was still sleep. She only had a few hours before she left to return to her Georgia home, but she wanted to savor those last hours with her boyfriend, Kevin Richardson. She began to hum 'Silent Night' while walking toward the living room. Once inside, she saw no sign of Amanda, A.J. or Kevin. She observed the dog, Panda stretched out on one of the sofas and the dog, Bear, relaxing comfortably near the Christmas tree. She giggled quietly and strolled over toward the Christmas tree. "Hey boy." she cooed while looking at Bear. She ruffled the dog's fur while placing her gift amongst the others under the tree. The dog responded amicably to Nikki.

Nikki glanced around the room once more, feling another presence somewhere. When she completed her surveying the room, there was no one with her besides the dogs. She wrinkled her brow and licked her lips. "Where's Alex at?" Nikki turned her head back down to the dog. Bear was soundless except for the diminutive purr he released while she rubbed his tummy. The light of the Christmas tree and the outside sunshine shined brilliantly on Nikki's face. She placed a hand on her bended knee and listened for any sounds. Still the house was relatively silent. She hummed to herself. 'I should go say goodbye to old Kevvy.' Nikki smiled to herself. She made her decision and ceased petting Bear.

Leigh Ann stretched like a cat in a large bed. Her silky blonde hair relaxed against her back while she sat up in the bed. She pulled the sheets upon her to cover her body as she glanced around. A throbbing headache consumed her brain. She coughed softly and then brushed her bangs back with her hand. She was still in a daze, but she was surviving a tormenting hangover. Her finely manicured nails glided over the satin sheets. Her timid blue eyes stopped looking around the vaguely familiar room to see a figuer sleeping next to her. Her mind tried to conceive the memories of the night before to help her recognize the figure. A well-acquainted met her visions. The name was Chillers the club Leigh Ann had attended with a few actors and actresses the night before. It was a celebration, to Leigh Ann's memory. The pain of thinking of what the celebration was for caused more agony in Leigh Ann's mind. She didn't care what the celebration was for, but what she may have done and why she was sleeping next to a man in his bed.

"This is so not my style." the thirty-year-old actress confessed, pulling the sheets from her body and standing. She was a little sore, but she was able to make small steps over to the window. Her body begged for a toilet so that she could regurgitate the food she had consumed the pervious day. More flashbacks shot through her mind as she covered her eyes from the sun creeping in through the blinds. A pair of blue eyes were her dancing partner and a glass of Martini was her conversational piece. It aws a dulled conversation between her and the man who's face was hidden in the shadows of the night club, but Leigh Ann had spoken with this man on many occassions. Her discussions with him were indifferent in the past, but their drunken hearts were similiar in the night. "Damn, think Leigh Ann." she demanded of herself as she tried to unmask the man she knew she had slept with. It was a guilty sin and Leigh Ann knew it well. She had experienced the sin with other men and with one that she had yet to bring to bed. That one person was now married and his name was Brian Thomas Littrell.

"Oh shit. Brian." Leigh Ann's mind snapped into a natural process of remembering. She lifted one of the straps on her neglig‚e and curled her lips. The man that laid in the bed was akin to Brian. It was not Brian, Leigh Ann knew that. She had not seen Brian since a brief encounter as the Billboard Awards, but she recognized the man now. He was indeed related to her ex-boyfriend, the one that was currently related to Justin. She loathed Justin with a plaesureable excitement. 'I can't think about them now.' Leigh Ann commanded herself. She twirled a finger in her golden tresses and looked at the stiff figure as he slept. Leigh Ann was common to seduction. Retrospection showed her the actions they took and what Leigh Ann had done. She had drug him from a simple water to a full fledged Gin and tonic. Her eyes hurt from the sunlight, causing her to sway seductively away from the window and over to the bed again. 'You were too easy of a target.' Leigh Ann commented in her mind, trying to keep him sleep. She could see her clothing and his scattered across the floor. She was not proud of her actions, but she knew they would play to her advantage. Leigh Ann found the strength to say his name and to admit to her crime.

"Kevin." his name aws announced by two females as Leigh Ann said it from near the bed and Nikki said it while walking into his bedroom. A loud gasp hissed in the room from both women. Leigh Ann stared at her with fear while Nikki stood astonished. Leigh Ann could see Nikki's face turn a ghostly white. Leigh Ann was beyond embarassed, but she was also guilty. She had not thought of Kevin's girlfriend when she and Kevin had sexual intercourse. Nikki's name did not cross Kevin's lips or Leigh Ann's mind during their inebriated actions. "Oh my God... er, uhm, Nikki I can explain this... if you uhm..." Leigh Ann was stuttering over her words. Her flush of red invaded her cheeks. She was beginning to regret each move she made the night before. She did not plan on being caught.

Nikki shook her head with disbelief. She was staring at Leigh Ann Wallace in nothing but her neglig‚e. "Kevin!" Leigh Ann barked out, trying to wake the still sleeping man. Kevin's groggy head lifted from the pillow, his eyes peering open. "What is it Peaches?" Kevin asked dizzyly. He looked over his shoulder and saw the slim figured woman with long blonde hair. His eyes blinked and blinked again. Nikki stayed silent, slowly backing toward the door. "Nikki, don't leave until he can explain." Leigh Ann demanded sternly. Nikki's eyes watched Kevin as he moved slowly like a slithering snake. She gripped her fist shut. She was angered and she was deceived. "Don't tell me what to do Leigh Ann... don't say shit to me!" Nikki growled at her. She was becoming disgusted with the sight of Leigh Ann. Her bottom lip trembled. "Sometimes... I didn't want to admit it, but you truly are a bitch." Nikki's words spewed from inside. Her humble personality had faded. Nikki could no longer deny what she felt toward Leigh Ann Wallace. She hated her. Nikki also hated Kevin, but she was not ready to express that hate openly.

Kevin finally turned his head to Nikki. His mind was clouded, but pieces of the puzzle were at last beginning to fit. His silvery blue eyes watched Nikki standing angered and firm in his doorawy. His honesty was failing as lies began to blossom in his mind. "Nik... I... I don't know what's going on..." Kevin mumbled his words. Leigh Ann groaned loudly, grabbing her shirt from the side of the bed. "Sure, lie to her and make me look guilty. It takes two to tango." Leigh Ann complained bitterly. "Shut up Leigh Ann! Don't say another word." Nikki commanded. Her eyes were enough to freeze Leigh Ann. Kevin coild feel the bitter cold feeling being emitted from his girlfriend. "You really fucked up this time Kev." Leigh Ann muttered under her breath. She crossed her arms and held her shirt tightly.

Nikki eyed Kevin, her eyes not fondling Kevin like a docile child. "Explain yourself." she hissed in a brief exhale. Kevin struggled to sit up in the bed. Nikki lowered her eyebrows and peered at him as he moved. He sat up and pulled the covers over his waist area. His chest rose and fell quickly, showing signs of deceit. Leigh Ann shook her hair back. She watched Kevin to make sure she was not brought into false light. "Honestly Peaches..." Kevin began his speech. Nikki raised her hand quickly. "Don't call me that anymore. Tell your story." she insisted with a sharp tongue that showed no sign of acquittal. Kevin pouted. He was disappointed in his girlfriend. "I went to a club, last night, with Howie and we got a little drunk I guess. We were just trying to have a good time. We saw Veronica and her boyfriend and a couple of fans... and we had maybe one or two drinks..." Kevin stumbled over each word he spoke. Leigh Ann laughed, mocking him. "Try a good five or six Kevin... and that was just with me." Leigh Ann commented, sneering at Kevin. Nikki's eyse went from Leigh Ann to Kevin and vice versa. She was confused on who's story to believe. "Do you want me to tell the story with accurant information about how he was all up on a girl while dancing and that Howie was flirting with two girls while making out with another?" Leigh Ann spit out, incriminating Kevin and Howie as she did.

"Stop! Both of you!" Nikki ordered, raising her hands. Kevin gripped a pillow, remembering each painful memory of the night before. Leigh Ann merely puckered her lips and looked at the floor. Nikki nibbled her lower lip, trying to decipher truth from the fictious world. "I just want to know one thing..." a lump in Nikki's throat prevented her from speaking the words she needed to speak. Her eyes stung with small tears. She pushed aside feelings of love and hate to remain neutral. She had to clear her head to comprehend both stories. "I just want to know if you two had sex." she finally stated. The words felt like glass sliding up Nikki's throat and across her tongue. She could feel blood in her saliva and sores in her glands. Her eyes stayed on Kevin, her boyfriend. SHe prayed he spoke the truth to her. She could see how he avoided her eyes and her looks. He was guilty. "It's so ironic to me that Justin and Brian were the ones that supported you these past couple of weeks and told me that you loved me... and even after listening to them, I find you in here with Leigh Ann Wallace. They defended your ass in my ear for so long and you sleep with the one woman that they hate... the woman that has tried time and time again to breakup your cousin's marriage. And in the end, Brian was right when he said, 'Fuck you.'" Nikki snapped, laeving no room for discussion. Kevin sat stiff and his head was gazing down to his lap. Nikki held up her hand and flashed Kevin the peace sign. "He's all yours, Leigh Ann." Nikki added, looking at the astonished and appalled Leigh Ann. She gave Nikki an uneasy look. Nikki could not hold Leigh Ann fully censurable for the crimes commited at the club and in Kevin's bed. She was disappointed, she was angered, she was dying inside, but she remained simple on the exterior.

Kevin's throat finally allowed words of recompensation passage. Nikki turned her back to him, causing him to stop. His chance was lost. Nikki stepped out of the room with her pride while Kevin's died in the bed next to him. A tear slithered from the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry Kev... I truly am." Leigh Ann said while gathering up the rest of her clothing. Kevin did not awnt to speak to Leigh Ann. He had no words for the woman who helped to ruin a beautiful romance. He only curled up on the bed and let the tears fall like the missing snow from Orlando. His head pushed on the pillow while silent teardrops soaked it with their essence. The glacial December air had killed the bloom of Kevin's peaches.

Justin sat in the den of he and Brian's house. He watched the Christmas tree while spooning himself lemon-flavored cake frosting. His naturally blue eyes looked marble in the glow of the white lights on the tree. His legs were under him as he snuggled to the end of the couch in the den. Christmas Eve felt like a lonely day on the road for Justin. He scratched his temple while watching the shine on the golden bulbs. His eyes dazzled with the silver garland. The tree held candy canes on it's branches and small ornaments on it's edges. Justin's lips were perched in a frown. He and Brian had barely communicated throughout the day. Justin had no words for his husband. The anguish inside of him made him mute when around Brian. All of the wrapped presents under the tree were not enough to satisfy Justin. He would return each of them to win back Novemeber when his marriage was alive.

Justin felt more grief when he felt Giligan's paws touch his feet. 'Where are the dogs going to go?' Justin questioned himself while contemplating his future with Brian. He only awaited Brian to lay the divorce papers before him. He dreaded the event, but he wished for it to end his silent suffering. 'Eighteen and divorced... oh yeah, that'll be perfect.' Justin lamented in his mind.

Justin heard Brian's footsteps as he walked down the setps to the den. He could also hear Ivory and Tyke barking as they followed him. "Calm down ya'll." Brian's voice sent a shudder through Justin's young body. He winced a little and then ignored Brian. "Hey babe... are you hungry?" Brian asked sliding onto the couch next to Justin. Justin kept his head in the opposite direction. "No." he answered plainly. He began to fondle his tennis bracelet, one that he would loath removing. Brian observed his distant movements. He was gradually seeing Justin's pulling away. He was confused. Brian's arm slid to Justin's lap and then around his waist. Justin ached, feeling Brian's warmth draw closer. He wrinkled his lips and scrunched his nose. He felt Brian's smooth cheek run against his. "You really aren't going to shave, are you?" Brian softly asked. Justin trembled slightly. He awnted to cry knowing that he loved Brian's warmth. It was wrong. Justin desired Brian in every way. Brian was the man to take Justin's virginity, the man to introduce Justin to true love and the man that mended Justin's heart when he was ill. Brian was now a stranger to Justin. His touch was foreign. His kiss was sinful.

Justin briskly unfolded Brian's arm from him and stood. He knocked over the container of lemon frosting as he did. He moved away from the couch, feeling the air become a stifling chill around him. He crossed his arms and then hugged himself, feeling a sniffle break loose. "Bri... I don't want to cuddle right now." Justin whimpered out. He closed his eyes. He was attempting to block Brian from his mind. "What do you awnt Justin?" Brian asked, growing weary of Justin's rejection. Justin could not answer him. His eyes opened, looking directly at the ground. Tyke patted near his feet. 'Oh Tyke.' he sighed in his mind. Tyke was a part of Justin. Ivory was a part of Justin. Giligan was a part of Justin. BJ was a part of Justin. Even Clover and Kerouac were a part of Justin before they left to be with Joey and Britney and Matt Thompson. Justin could not renounce his love for Brian and he could not envision how Brian could abjure his love for Justin.

"Brian, I want to know why you're having an affair?" Justin's audacity grew. He grab his nerve and used it to look up at Brian. His eyes looked directly into Brian's. Brian's face twisted with skepticism running through his thin cheeks. "What?!" Brian qusetioned him loudly. He could not believe the accusation. It was strong and bold. Brian stood from the couch, his heart feeling betrayed. He grew pale. Justin backed away from him. "Brian... I heard you talking to my mother... I heard the message from Joey... I heard my mother say she wanted you to divorce me all along... why are you having an affair? And with who?" Justin continued to interrogate Brian. He sniffled in the process. His body was beginning to tremble again. Brian stayed near the couch, hurt running through his blue eyes. His pink lips were dry, as was his throat. He shook his head. "You don't know what you're talking about." he whispered, looking at the floor as his husband had done minutes before. Justin crinkled his nose again. He balled his fist, tears seeping in his eyelids. "I'm not dumb Brian... I'm not naive! I know what I heard!" Justin yelled at his husband. His break down period was drawing near, but Justin remained strong through the waiting point. His heart was in purgatory, awaiting to die fully. Brian brushed his hands over his sandy blonde hair. "You have no idea what you heard." Brian disagreed with Justin. Brian's refusal to speak with Justin angered him. His face flushed into a vermillion shade. "I can't believe that all of you have lied to me... who is he Brian? Nick? J.C.? Bryce? Some guy from a club? Matt?!" Justin barked out names as they slipped into his head. He was now unconscious to his actions. He slipped into the fearful world of vengance. His eyes only saw the rage of scarlet. Christmas Eve was nothing to him. He wanted answers to why his marriage was dying before his eyes.

"Stop it!" Brian finally screamed at Justin. The sounds of his screams caused the dogs to begin barking in trembling fear. Justin shook, feeling the torment in Brian's scream bleeding through his ears. Justin swallowed and closed his eyes. "Brian, I'm leaving." Justin sadly stated. Regret pounded him while he spoke. His eyes opened again and he saw Brian losing himself in the room. Brian's head shook repeatedly. Brian trembled. "Justin, I'm not having an affair. I swear to you on my life... I'd never do that." Brian pleaded with his husband. Brian's stomach became weak with the thoughts of losing Justin. Justin observed him in his own agony. His heart raced. "Then what's going on Brian?" Justin asked, calming his voice. He wanted to be tender with Brian like he was the night they first made love as a married couple. He attempted to tap into those emotions to grow soft in front of Brian. He was not affronting for Brian. He was honset. He reached his hand out and let it make contact with Brian's shivering face. Brian could not stare into Justin's eyes. His actions brought moer conviction into Justin's thoughts. "Can you just give me an hour? In an hour, I promise everything will make sense." Brian offered a compromise. He needed time. Justin found it too hard to release Brian without giving him a chance to bring in a defense. "An hour Brian... and then, I'm gone." Justin whispered to Brian. His sentence pulled a nod from Brian. Justin felt a salty tear hit his thumb. He watched as more slipped from Brian's eyes. Justin leaned a little closer. He kissed Brian's cheek. "An hour." he whispered again into Brian's ear before pulling back from him. He drew his hand down and walked back to the couch.

Brian sniffled softly and began to wipe away his own tears. He sighed hesitantly and let his body relax from its tense state. 'I'll fix things Justin...' he promised himself. He rubbed his nose and sniffled again. He took a painful gulp, trying to swallow pain. His fingers flexed, his wedding ring seeming tighter. It was gripping for life. The golden band did not desire to break its bond from Brian's finger. He turned to his left and walked slowly out of the room. Tyke followed him in confusion. He was lost. He did not understand his master's somber mood. Brian refused to communicate with the dog or his husband while walking away.

The Grinch would have treasured the activites in the Littrell household. There was no sense of Christmas spirit left. Justin was still curled up on the couch. His eyes observed 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' on the television while BJ and Giligan rested at his feet. Justin had changed his attire and now he rested in a plain white T-shirt and a pair of Brian's mint green jogging pants. The humor of watching Lucy chastise Charlie Brown brought a petite smile to Justin's rose red lips. He scratched his miniature, brown-haired goatee. Justin hummed along to the sounds of Schroeder's piano playing. His head bobbed instantly with the symphony. His smile was increasing.

Justin straightened up on the couch. Justin glanced down to his silver watch and saw the time. Brian only had ten more minutes. Justin frowned thoroughly. Brian had failed him. He doubted that within ten minutes Brian could save their marriage. It was a suicidal mission. His eyes drifted from his watch to his wedding ring. The ring was like a piece of Justin's skin now. He lamented thoughts of removing it. He sighed cautiously. He did not want to awake his dogs. "I'll wait." Justin decided while toying with the gold band. He wasn't ready for a divorce and he wasn't ready to remove his wedding ring. "Have yourself a merry little Christmas Orlando." Justin hummed, leaning back on the couch. 'And have yourself a merry Christmas Brian Littrell.' Justin prayed, closing his eyes.

Justin's eyes were brought open again when the sound of the doorbell startled him. He sat up erect again. He looked around. BJ's head popped up, her alert system going off. She commenced barking, waking her offspring. Giligan peaked his head up sheepishly. Justin slowly pet BJ's head to calm her. "Ssshhh girl..." Justin pleaded. BJ began to soften her bark, her master caressing her fur. Justin's ears perked up. 'Well this is probably him...' Justin deducted. He removed his hand from BJ's head and then rubbed his hands together. He was prepared for confrontation. This is not how he planned to spend his Christmas Eve. He never imagined such an occurence developing, but she was determined to clear the air and cut the ties to his marriage.

"I feel like I'm going on the Jerry Springer Show." Justin joked while climbing the steps. He reached the top step as Brian reached the bottom step from the other set. Justin and Brian eyed each other. Justin's expression was vengance and Brian's was sorrow. Justin stepped up, causing Brian to step down. Each felt like they were in Tombstone, preparing for a shootout at sundown. Justin let Brian take the lead towards the door. Brian's walk was leisurely like the fall of honey from a jar. Justin craved for hasty movements from Brian, but he did not become verbal. He allowed his husband the time he needed. Brian's hand reached the doorknob, initiating their stop. Both of their hearts beat like the clock ticking on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Brian's palms were moist with sweat. Justin's throat was becoming dry. Fear was the agressor. Brian exhaled softly before turning the knob.

The door breezed open fully. Justin stayed behind Brian and attempted to recognize the visitor at the door. His brow wrinkled with confusion when he saw his ex-girlfriend, Britney Spears, standing outside. "Britney?" Justin said with puzzlement. Brian backed away from the door and leaned against the wall. "Where's Joey?" he asked calmly. Justin stared at Brian, his eyebrows arching. He was still lost. "He's coming with..." Britney's eyes went from Brian and then to Justin and then repeating the cycle. "Him." she finally ended her sentence. Justin pursed his lips. Brian nodded and eased off the wall. "Come on in Brit." Brian began his cordial duties. Britney closed her jacket tightly around her body and stepped inside. She walked like a Prom queen past Brian and then over to Justin. She leaned up to hug him. Justin reluctantly hugged her. His arms swallowed her small frame. "You told me not to take away the happiness from Joey... don't take it away from Brian." Britney whispered into his ear. Justin took in his lower lip while Britney backed away. She gave him a look of caution. Justin didn't nod or give her a verbal response. He only awaited Joey.

Justin's head shifted position when he heard Joey's heavy footsteps. Justin peered out into the darkness, seeing Joey's figure coming into the light. No one stood next to or behind Joey. More confusion was injected in Justin's membrane. A gasp broke from his lips when Justin finally depicted Joey's full appearance. Over Joey's right shoulder was a small bag. In his right hand was a small car seat. "Are we late?" Joey chimed while entering the house. Brian smiled at him and shook his head. Justin's eyes watched Joey closer and eyed the object cradled in Joey's left arm. Brian reached out and grabbed the object from Joey's arm. "Thanks." Joey grinned, making sure Brian had a strong grip. Brian took a step ahead of Joey and led the way inside. Joey turned around and closed the door tightly. Justin was blind to Joey's actions, but watched Brian closely. Brian gave Justin a mild smirk. "Justin, I'd like you to meet the man I've been cheating on you with..." Brian cooed, turning himself to the side for Justin to admire. Justin stared into Brian's arms. He cuddled a baby in his arms. It was a boy from the clues Brian gave. Brian toyed with the child's nose whose hair was a fair blonde like Brian's and his eyes a dark blue like Justin's. Justin inched closer to regard the child. "Meet Angel Sebastian Timber Littrell... your son, Justin. Our son." Brian whispered to his husband. Justin's mouth lit up with astonishment and his eyes with water. Brian was holding his and Justin's adopted son. Justin was speechless. Britney gave a soft applause from the side. "He was born on July the 5th, 1999. His uhm, parents... they died in a drunk driving accident and his aunt... well she died in October from cancer. So he has no family... except for us now." Brian explained. It was a sad and memorable story, the reason for Brian choosing the child. Justin blinked his eyes repeatedly. The sight of his son was moer than overwhelming. It was a blessing. A brand new feeling encasing his emotions with bliss. The way a soft smile filled the baby's lips made Justin giggled softly.

Brian bounced the baby a little to make him laugh. "Do you want to hold him?" Brian offered, slowing his bouncing. Justin broke his stare with Angel and looked up to Brian. "Hold on just a sec." Justin requested of his husband. Brian nodded. He watched Justin lean forward and then he closed his eyes. Their lips met for an intimate kiss. The tender stroking of their lips in fluent motion caused Joey and Britney to coo them on. "Young love." Britney sighed. Joey laughed at her. "My Juliette." Joey snickered out. Britney puckered her lips for him in humor. Justin and Brian ignored them. Their lips continued to meet several times in a tribal movement that only they knew of. Justin's hand caressed Brian's smooth cheek while they kissed. It was passion in a mild climate.

Justin withdrew first before plunging in for another quick peck. Justin licked his lips while drawing back the second time. Brian moaned with a delicate voice. "Get used to it kid." he joked with his son when he caught the child awing at his fathers. Justin giggled. "Brian, I'm really so..." the last word was unable to form on Justin's lips. Brian had slipped his soft finger over Justin's thin lips. He shook his head with a serious face. "Don't say it Just, I already know. Don't worry about it babe." Brian whispered to his husband. Forgiveness was a sutured part of his body. His husband made everything worth it. He gingerly tapped the end of Justin's nose and grinned brilliantly. He lifted his son a little and then awaited Justin. Justin smiled while opening his arms. Brian slipped Angel into Justin's arms for Justin to hold. Justin took Angel in as a natural father would. He was careful about the docile baby. He did not squeeze him too tightly or hold him too loosely. Justin watched his dancing blue eyes. They reminded him of Brian's. "He's a cutie." Britney cheered, walking a little closer to Brian and Justin. Justin nodded, playing with Angel's nose like he did Angel's father's. "He got his middle name from Sebastian... because his natural aunt died from cancer... I thought it'd be nice because Sebastian has HIV. Some signifigance." Brian explained to Justin while informing both Britney and Joey at the same time. Joey was impressed by Brian's poetic choice. He slid the baby bag off of his shoulder and placed the car seat down. He passed the baby bag to Brian. Brian sat it next to the car seat and continued to watch Justin and Angel become acustom with each other.

"You see all of the times Brian was gone, it was because he came over my house to take care of Angel." Joey stated to calrify things for Justin. "And that would explain Joey's message... he and Britney hated hiding it from you, but I wanted Angel to be a Christmas surprise." Brian added, fiddling with Angels' feet. Britney nodded. Justin could finally see through the fogged glass that kept Brian hidden from him. All of the explainations made sense. "And of course mom wanted me to call her Nina from now on because she's Angel's grandmother. She didn't want me calling her mom." Brian pointed out for Justin. Justin rocked Angel in his arms. "Oh, then what piece of paper did everyone want me to sign then?" Justin asked out of curiosity. Brian laughed loudly at Justin's inquiry. "They wanted you to sign the adoption papers so it would be official." Brian chuckled. Justin blushed. He was embarrassed to a new degree.

Brian slid his arm around Justin's shoulders and laid his head on Justin's shoulder. "Bryce and your mother helped me to get Angel adopted... so they had to hide it too. But now we have Angel, and now we're a family." Brian said, relaxing. It had been a tense Christmas Eve for the Littrells. Britney walked over to her boyfriend and smiled. "Now one day... I want this." she whispered to Joey. Joey nodded, having great esteem for his friends. "All seven of us." Justin finally laughed out, feeling Tyke, BJ, Giligan and Ivory surrounding them. Everyone joined in the cheerful laughter as Christmas Eve began to draw to a close.

It was midnight. It was a George Bailey-kind-of midnight. One with promise despite despair. All of the Christmas presents had been opened earlier, a tradition started at the Littrell's. Brian and Justin laid in their bed. Tyke and BJ slept at the foot of the bed while their children laid on the floor near the bed. Angel slept peacefully on Brian's chest. Brian's breathing was slow and relaxed to keep his son sleep. Justin was cuddled tightly to Brian's body. Their heads shared one pillow and a small space of the bed. They wanted to be tight, together. Though Orlando rarely brought cold weather to its inhabitants, they wanted to be warm. A family-type warm. And though they were not separated like J.C. and Nick, together like Britney and Joey, brokenup like Nikki and Kevin, miserable like Lance, engaged like A.J. and Amanda, starting a bright romance like Chris and Meelah, confused like Howie and Danay, and brooding over lost chances like Leigh Ann and Christina, they were the Littrells. It was a new definition to be added to Webster's. The meaning was simple: An adjective. True romance that can survive any weather, whether emotional or physical. It could not have been anymore simpler for Brian or Justin.

Justin looked up to a clock on the wall. It had just clicked on 12:01. Justin smiled and rested his head on Brian's shoulder. His hand rubbed his son's back. "Merry Christmas Rocky." Justin whispered into Brian's hair. Brian's had slid down and his fingers laced through Justin's curls. "Merry Christmas to you too, babe." Brian softly replied. He kissed Justin's forehead, cautious not to stir Angel. Justin sighed with love. They laid in peace. Their eyes begin to close and their hearts began to flutter. Even though December was a month of bitter cold, Scrooge's and Grinch's, money, material gifts and family bickering, Christmas always shined it's favorable light. And just as it was always simply said, 'Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.'

THE END.

--- Well not of the series! Just of 'December'! And I know you had to have enjoyed some of it! I worked hard people, so show me love [joke]. But seriously, I hope you enjoyed the story. I know it's long, but you have to enjoy it! I realize it took me quite a while to write it [different problems and what not], but I'm actually very pleased with the outcome. Hopefully you are too. Please send me comments on this story! I won't be returning 'til the end of January/early Feb [JM needs a SERIOUS break ya'll!] and I've run out of ideas. So PLEASE tell me what you liked/didn't like catsfan1@hotmail.com. I need imput to make this series reader-friendly. I've got to thank Nifty for continous support as always. Ya'll just don't know how hard David works his ass off!!! So show him love! He deserves it. Plus he deals with PMSin' people like me. Nifty does rule! And I've got to thank the readers next because the compliments do keep me going and so does hate mail. So thanks, thanks from the bottom of my heart. Also thank you Lep - yeah, we've had our up's and down's and our merry-go-rounds. I've learned a LOT from you. I've learned good things and I've learned what NOT to do by your examples. You deserve credit and uhm, I'm not annonymous either. You'll get the clue. Thanks to the friends [past and now] that have backed me up. You rock! Sorry I can't name you all, but you KNOW who you are! And as always, have a blessed NEW YEAR!!! ---