Brian and Justin

Angel's Wings (Part 5) Written by JM

--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write? Hmmm, it's about celebrities... yeah, that sounds good. Two very moral celebrities too... ooh yeah, that makes it better. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual personal lives. Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE WAY! Is that it? I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have your parents permission. Parental Guidance is suggested. Need some popcorn? Maybe a soda? Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is Golden'! Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---

--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back! That's right and I thought I could stay away. No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood. I've just got to write. Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in the song of Brian and Justin's lives. Please remember that these stories are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and Justin' and 'Just Beginning'. This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the attention in the world. If you don't know by now, send all comments to: catsfan1@hotmail.com Thank you very much! Enjoy the show... ---

-Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated R-

The sun peeked its way into the the windows of many hotel rooms that morning. It wasn't late enough for the sun to unfold and stretch the full length of its beaming arms, but enough for the sun to yawn and smile out a shimmering glitz of orangy and yellowish light that seemed to fluster all over Orlando. It pawed at the beaches and tapped on the windows of adults so that they could be prepared for the awakening of their children in the coming hours. The sun allowed its warmth to slowly suck up the cold breeze of the night and gradually add its falvoring and spice to the air to give it a tropical feel, just as Orlando always seemed to carry.

The sun played its part in awakening some of the inhabitants of a small hotel on the edge of Orlando. It slithered through the curtains of the hotel and patted the shoulders of some of the members of *NSYNC and their tour entourage. They had arrived in Orlando but five hours previous and the long trip to get there, on the tour buses, prevented them from having the strength to leave for their homes in the large city. Their cars were nowhere near this portion of the town and the night seemed to beckon them to rest and sleep. With a unison of agreeance, they took up occupation in the hotel and endeavored to rid themselves of their wearriness so that they could return to their homes for their two days off before having their final show in the place of their origin.

Again, the sun played an important role in waking two members of the tour.

One seemed to be waken by the urge for playing while the other was forced to be awakened by the beams that hit his closed eyes as he strived to have at least four more hours of sleep. After all, Justin Littrell knew his husband and son would be arriving at the hotel around noon to take him home and back to a place where he could get to know his family again. And in his hotel bed, with the covers only covering the bottom-half of his body, he didn't feel all that comfortable.

The added sensation of lips frolicking across his neck helped and, then again, it hurt Justin. He couldn't get away from what he needed to so he could return to his normal life as a married man. He cursed himself for allowing Joshua Chasez, the man he called J.C., to sleep in his bed when they arrived to the hotel. J.C. had his own room with his stuff in it, but when J.C. complained of loneliness and told Justin that he needed to lay with him, Justin did not fight the temptation. He beckoned J.C. to end their making out after J.C. crept into the bed with Justin, but he allowed J.C. to hug him through the night and play with his hair. He allowed J.C. to kiss him occasionally. And with all of that, Justin felt guilty, guilty beyond belief. It was his greatest barrier and his greatest friend: his conscience. It prevented Justin from having a full-fledged affair, but Justin still felt wrong for kissing any other man, for touching another man, for believing he could have sex with some one else outside of the one he loved, Brian Littrell.

When feeling J.C.'s lips linger around the hollow of his neck while his hands began to paw and grab at his waist and chest, Justin felt wrong. For some reason, Justin could never speak up about it though. He permitted J.C. to grind his hips into Justin's ass. He could feel an erection straining against J.C.'s boxers while Justin felt nothing inside of his own boxer-briefs. He wasn't getting hard.

"Oh, baby, can we please fool around?" J.C. requested, kissing Justin's earlobe and then trailing his kisses down to Justin's shoulder. Justin reached back and fondled J.C.'s brown hair, sighing without contentment in his voice. He did not want to answer J.C.'s inquiry. Truthfully, his body called for sexual attention while the rest of him seemed to malfunction. Nothing else wanted to be apart of J.C., except his body. He yawned quietly, batting his eyes open. He sniffled and then stretched in the bed.

"Come on Justin, please." J.C. begged, maneuvering so that he was on top of Justin, straddling his waist. Justin peered at J.C. with a disbelief in his eyes. J.C. leaned down and smiled at Justin. He placed his hands on either side of Justin's head, resting them firmly into Justin's pillow. He licked his lips in a delicate fashion. "Please baby?" J.C. pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. He batted them, his semi-long lashes winking out innocent glances. He leaned further down and pressed his lips to Justin's. Justin opened his mouth, somewhat accepting the kiss. He felt J.C.'s tongue slide across his and then over his teeth. He raised his hand and placed it behind J.C.'s head, holding it so that he could slurp on the nectar-y lips that belonged to his friend. Their flavor were undeniable. He felt the vibrations of J.C.'s moan run through his moan and then the pressure of J.C.'s crotch on his caused him to pull out a groan of his own. With J.C. gyrating their bodies together, he could feel his body naturally react and produce an erection. He gripped at J.C.'s body and then the sheets, trying to pull them further upward to hide J.C.'s exposed body. The sounds of ruffling and then the feeling of J.C.'s naked skin against his barely covered one brought about a realization. J.C. was now nude. Justin pressured out another groan, holding the small of J.C.'s back as they continued to wrestle through their kissing.

"Jesus, Justin, I want you to make love to me..." J.C. breathed out as he yanked his lips away from Justin's. It was a command. Justin felt the precum leaking from the tip of his cock as he tried to control himself. He had to stop, soon. "I want you inside of me..." J.C. whispered into Justin's ear before he dragged his teeth along Justin's cheek and then his neck. Justin gasped, placing his hands on J.C.'s shoulder so that he could lift him up. The sweat caused his curls to begin to matt-up and his mind was alternating. He felt J.C. suckling the skin near his chin. He didn't want it anymore.

Justin pushed J.C. up, panting uncontrollably. He didn't receive any looks from J.C. He quickly turned his head the other way, gasping for air. His conscience was suffocating him. "Stay right here hon'. I'm gonna go grab a condom from my room... unless you have one here?" J.C. said softly, circling his fingers in Justin's hair. Justin continued to breathe heavily, holding in aching tears. 'What am I going to do? Cry and end up making love to him? I have to say something. I have to stand up for my marriage.' Justin told himself as he felt J.C. slinking out of the bed. "I know I probably have about three condoms in my bag, so I'll go get them." J.C. informed Justin as he slipped fully out of the bed, searching the room for clothing he could wear. Justin curled up on the bed. He ignored J.C. He decided it would be best to wait until J.C. returned to inform him it was not going to happen, again. He heard the door shut to his room and inevitably, it was shutting on another part of his life.

J.C. felt a silly grin tugging on his full lips. He stared at the door to Justin's room, his hand still on the knob and his other hand pressed against the cool surface. He kept the door slightly crack so that access inside would be easier for him. 'Well, here it goes... he's finally going to make love to me.' J.C. smiled to himself as he slowly backed away from the door. It was a thought he had dwelled on for weeks and a notion inside of him told him that one day it could be possible. It wasn't an easy thing to cope with. After all, J.C. was engaged, in a way seducing and having an affair with his best friend, and still caught up in his emotions and battles with Nikki. 'Where's the good Samaritan Lance at when I need him?' J.C. contemplated, turning on his heels to head in the direction of his room.

As he turned on his heels, he heard a distinctive laughter and then another familiar sound. It was in the hallway and it was not Lance. A ghost ran over J.C.'s grave, sending his face into a white hue as his hollow eyes glanced down the hallway to see two people advancing toward his end of the hall. Neither saw him, they were too caught up in laughter to notice at the second. "Oh shit," J.C. muttered unconsciously. He was scared, fearful. His heart leaped into his throat to silence any other form of speaking as his body became rigid and unmovable. Death was but a few steps away.

After his words had senselessly fell from his lips, eyes began to run in J.C.'s direction. J.C. wanted to run himself, but couldn't find the strength. "Josh?" Nick Carter spoke out with wonder, staring at his fiancé clad in a pair of boxers and an unfamiliar shirt. J.C. swallowed hard, unable to reply to his fiancé. He cautiously ran his eyes to the other party, Brian Littrell. Brian held Angel Littrell, his son, in his arms with a raised brow. J.C. felt a little distrust running over Brian, but not enough to convict anyone yet. "I was about to go and see you... down at your room, though. Why are you over here baby?" Nick asked curiously, somewhat aware of who's room J.C. stood next to. J.C. was unable to answer his fiancé directly. He was dumbfounded by the sight of Nick and Brian mere inches from him. He did not expect Nick until that evening and he was aware that Brian would be arriving to pick up Justin around noon. Now, in the midst of the morning, J.C. was speechless at their arrival.

Brian adjusted Angel in his arms, staring at the shirt J.C. wore. It was more than vaguely familiar. It was a baby blue Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, one Justin wore. Brian could never remember a time when J.C. had a shirt in the least comparison to the one he was dressed in now. His bluish eyes lowered to see the boxers J.C. was wearing. 'Why is he wearing boxers? Why is he by Justin's door?' Brian's thoughts began to trifle with his mind as he glared at J.C. He was feeling insecure and insecure led to one definite emotion.

J.C. stepped forward in the direction of Nick, hoping to avoid the anger-filled glances he was beginning to get from Brian. "Babe, I was just checking on Justin. He's rather homesick." J.C. lied. Sweat was breaking from his brow again, except this time it was not caused by sexual tension. He felt his hands shaking as he began to lift them to hug Nick. Nick had an expression of uncertainty holding his face in position. He bit his lower lip, slowly lifting his own arms to grab J.C.

Brian peered at Nick. He took a small sniff of J.C. as he came close to Nick. It was definitely a distinct smell, one that Brian knew too well. It was a grand mixture of Armani Eporium, Tigi's Bed Head, and a manly scent from a younger man. His hand automatically jerked up and latched onto J.C.'s arm, squeezing it violently and yanking J.C. closer. J.C. yelped with pain, tumbling in Brian's direction and never embracing Nick. Nick stumbled back with surprise, his head instinctively snapping in Brian's direction. He was ready to react in a violent form until he began to calculate Brian's actions. Something was wrong with the picture.

J.C. was beginning to crouch over in pain, his arm swelling and turning red under Brian's grip. His eyes pleaded with Brian to release him. He feared Brian's wrath and seeing the distrust in Brian's eyes did not help his feelings in any form. "You smell like him. Why the hell do you smell like him?!" Brian barked at J.C., holding him in his position. J.C. struggled with his own strength to break free of Brian, but it seemed as if Brian had grown in strength. He couldn't escape the grip that was causing him excruciating pain. His eyes lined up with tears of anguish. "Why are you wearing his shirt? Why were you in my husband's room?" Brian again questioned him with a hiss. J.C.'s lower lip trembled, unable to answer Brian. A few tears slid out of his eyes as he endeavored to pull away. "Why the fuck do you smell like Justin?!" Brian yelled at J.C., his loud voice resounding through the hall and causing curiosity to build from the other rooms.

Nick finally interjected. He disliked seeing J.C. in pain. He nudged Brian and then shoved him, creating a gap between J.C. and Brian. Nick latched onto J.C. and pulled him into his arms, holding him closely so that he could recover from the ache Brian gave him. "Leave him alone Brian, he told you what he was doing in Justin's room." Nick defended J.C. hesitantly.

Brian shook his head, his face turning a shade of red. Nick's eyes peeped around to see Chris, Meelah, and Danay glancing into the hallway. "That's not really why you were in Justin's room, is it J.C.? You're in your boxers, wearing his shirt and you smell like him... like you just had sex with him." Brian growled, starting to reach for J.C. again. Nick yanked J.C. back, backing himself into a wall to protect the man he loved. He listened to J.C. cry softly, holding onto Nick tightly for fear of Brian. He wanted to block out all the words Brian said, to deny each one. "You weren't checking on him, were you?" Brian asked with a new height of anger.

Finally, sobs broke from J.C.'s lips. He shook his head and sighed. "No... I spent the night in his room... we kissed and touched... but we didn't have sex..." J.C. admitted to the hallway as Joey, Britney, and Nikki finally escaped their rooms. A silence seemed to coat the hallway following J.C.'s words.

Justin stretched near the window in his room. He had escaped from the tanglement of his sheets and made an exit to the bathroom. He wanted to freshen up some and prepare himself to finally reveal his feelings to J.C. Now he stood near the window gathering himself, deaf to what had occured in the hallway minutes before.

The sounds of his door sliding open caused Justin to sigh unhappily. He drew his fingers through his strawberry blonde hair and sniffled. He kept his back to the door. His arms crossed and he licked his lips. 'Be strong Justin.' he told himself. He heard the door close and he knew it was time to speak. "Finally back, eh?" Justin questioned sarcastically, cocking his head to the side while looking out the window.

"Did you have sex with him?" a hissing voice questioned Justin from the door. Justin felt his heart jump. He became stiff when identifying the country accent that spoke to him. He breathed heavily as he slowly turned around, fearing the worst.

Brian stood near the door with Angel still nestled in his arms. Angel was clutching onto his father with fear running through his deep blue eyes. Brian's own face was filled with rage and disgust. The love in his azure eyes died and only a ghost of the past remained in his pupils. His jawbone flexed and his cheeks were sucked in. His brow was wrinkled and his eyes were peering. His lips were firmly pressed together, leaving them light pink.

Justin choked softly when looking upon them. He eyed Brian as Brian walked further into the room, setting their son down on the bed. "Daddy..." Angel said quietly as he viewed his other father. He got into a crawling position, frowning at Justin. "Don't go anywhere Timber." Brian whispered, rubbing Angel's head as he gradually backed away from the bed. He did not wish to place his son on the bed that he thought his husband may have had sex with anotehr on. He had no choice, though. There was no other place Brian could think of to put their son as he questioned his husband.

"Brian, I... I..." Justin was at a loss for words. He eyed Brian as he circled around the bed and then near the dresser. "So is that the problem you couldn't tell me before? Is he the reason you've been crying? Because you wanted to have sex with him? Because you did have sex with him?" Brian asked in a convicting way. He kept his angered expression alive, staring at Justin with pure distaste. He couldn't interpret a straight answer from Justin's facial expressions. They were too somber, too displaced. "I didn't... I didn't Brian." Justin breathed out. Brian didn't believe him. It was sad, but it was also true.

"He said that ya'll kissed. He said it," Brian commented in a stern voice. His eyes observed Justin's tense motions, quick glances now and then toward their son. "Did you kiss him? Did you want to kiss him? Did you want to fuck him, Justin?" Brian became harsher with his words as he thought of the weeks Justin had been on the road with J.C. and the possiblities. He could see Justin flinch when he raised his voice. It intimidated Justin. He didn't like that, but his judgment was clouded.

"Brian, I was lonely. I mean... I don't know." Justin stuttered out. "Don't give me that loneliness bullshit Justin. Be straight up with me. Did you want to fuck him?" Brian shouted at Justin, causing both Angel and Justin to jump with surprise. Justin found himself backing into a corner with fear. He had never viewed Brian so angry at him. He had seen it with others, the rage and the wrath. Justin had never been that far on the receiving end. He shivered at the sound. "Stop treating me like this. I never did this to you when you almost fucked Nick ten billion times in the past." Justin finally counteracted, releasing his own shout. Brian curled his lip. "Don't try and change the subject on me, Justin. You can't pull that 'I was neglected by you for Nick' bullshit anymore. You did wrong. Now, did you want to fuck J.C.?!" Brian battled, slamming his hand down onto Justin's dresser. Justin cringed again, but held his ground. He lowered his eyes, shame grabbing him. He let the silence encircle the room.

"Yes." Justin finally whispered in the angered silence. He sniffled and turned his head downward. He did not keep his head down long when hearing a cup slam down onto the floor of his hotel room. He threw his head up to look at Brian. Brian's face was completely red with anger. His fists were gripped shut and his eyes were learing at Justin. His lips were pressed closed, turning the pigment white. "You kissed him! You wanted to fuck him! You wanted our marriage to end just like that and I didn't do shit. I didn't cheat on you, abuse you, or even give you reason to backstab me. What's your reason? You don't fucking know. That's some straight out-of-high-school shit Justin, grow the fuck up. I gave you every bit of my life and you fuck me over just like you wanted to fuck J.C." Brian screamed at Justin without an ounce of reservation. He did not know how to withhold his feelings or his emotions. Once they made contact with his mind, he had no choice but to release them. "I didn't mean to. I wasn't looking for this. I love you Brian!" Justin argued. "No, no you don't. Don't build me up with shit. You could've looked the other way. You hurt me and you hurt Angel. Shit, Justin, did our son even cross your mind?" Brian disagreed firmly. Justin sighed arrogantly, throwing his hands into the air. He felt tears stinging his indigo eyes. He couldn't look at Angel. He had truly betrayed his son. "He crossed my mind a hundred times.

I love him... and I love you too." Justin replied softly, trailing his eyes over the room to view anything but Brian and Angel.

Justin jumped again when he heard the thumping noise of Brian slamming his fist into the wall. "Justin, it's not fair. It's not fair that you would do this to Angel. He's going to have to suffer now because his fathers won't be together. He'll have to see what you saw with your parents." Brian grumbled, shaking his hand to rid himself of the throbbing sensation running through it. He used his other hand to pull his hair back as the redness in his face heated him. He glanced down at the dresser. His eyes caught a glimpse of the tennis braclet he had bought for Justin, a symbol of affection in Brian's eyes. It just laid on the dresser, now lifeless.

Justin took in the information and tried to swallow a realization. He didn't like the taste of it. "Don't bring my parents into this shit, Brian." Justin demanded. "I'm sorry if you're the one who's going to make us a repeat performance of their lives." Brian responded bitterly. "So you're saying it's over? You're saying that our marriage is over and I didn't even fuck J.C.?" Justin felt his anger falre again as he spoke. Brian griamced at the sound of it, but then, he nodded. He cursed under his breath, turning his back to Justin. "That's a real asshole thing to say Brian. After all, you almost fucked Nick several times. You chose him over me so many times and I let you come back to many so many times. We were married and you were still going to let Nick fuck you, but I didn't say it was over. So what the fuck?" Justin snarled, advancing toward his husband with animosity leading him. Brian spuin on his heels to face Justin again, his cheeks tight. "Oh no, don't go there again. Do you remember why I offered myself to Nick? I think it's because of the same fuck that's standing in the hallway right now trying to tell me he wasn't going to fuck my husband. Nick never meant shit to me." Brian argued loudly, restraining himself from disrespecting his marriage in any form. "He had to have meant something." Justin disagreed mildly, backing away from Brian again.

Brian kicked the dresser, stepping aside. He leaned down and lifted J.C.'s shirt from the floor. There was scattered clothing across the room belonging to Justin and J.C. It was obvious what actions were taken for the clothing to be spread around the room as it was. "I told you the next morning when I offered to have sex with Nick. I had to catch you in the act for you to tell me what was going on here. I had to find J.C. leaving your room, smelling like you, wearing your shirt for you to come out and say you were about to fuck this man. Hell, you couldn't tell me in Louisiana and you couldn't tell me on the phone? What was it going to take?" Brian presented a good argument. He gripped J.C.'s shirt in his hands, pulling at the fabric. He heard Justin sniffle. He shook his head, sighing heavily. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't expect this at all, but if you can do what you did with Nick, then I can do this and you should be able to forgive me." Justin declared in a shaky voice. Brian again shook his head, this time, with a little more anger. "This isn't an eye for an eye thing, Justin. This is a marriage. This is something sacred. All the stupid shit I did with Nick happened before our marriage. You've truly ruined things." Brian snapped. "But I've dealt with a lot of shit from you. I stuck by you in our hardest times. Don't make me out to be the bad guy in our relationship because I'm far from it." Justin disputed. As the words clear his lips, Justin regretted each of them. He didn't want to be wrong, when he knew he was. Now, he was speaking things that even he did not feel were true.

Brian, without thinking, threw the article of clothing across the room. It slammed against the bathroom door and slid down it briskly. "Maybe we weren't meant to be then Justin? Maybe we've been living a fucking lie for the past two years now? I guess I should go to court tomorrow, get a divorce, get full custody of Timber, and let you and J.C. fuck madly all you want. And incidentally, the man that you fucking want so bad is outside trying to convince Nick he was wrong about you and him. Yeah, Nick, the one you think I want so damn badly." Brian shouted at Justin. Justin curled his upper lip and then turned away from Brian, mimicking his husband's previous actions.

The sounds of Angel crying ended the argument. Both Brian and Justin's eyes fell on their child as he laid on the bed, crying profusely while looking at his fathers. Justin glanced at Brian and then his son. There was one factor they continually forgot to add into their equation. They neglected their son and his feelings. They were both aware that Angel hated to see his parents argue. It wasn't a pleasent feeling for Angel. Now, Justin could see what Brian meant by his words. Angel would be another him.

He would have to watch his parents argue and soon enough, he would witness his parents divorce.

Brian quickly walked over to the bed and lifted his son. He cradled him tightly, hugging him and kissing his forehead. Justin observed them, watching small, clear drops of water hit Angel's forehead. They were tears.

He heard Brian sniffle lightly. Brian was crying and Justin felt the tension was too gerat for him to approach Brian. "And incidentally Justin, I love you more than anything and I regret what happened in the past," Brian whispered through his tears. He kissed the top of Angel's head again, hushing him. "And I regret losing you like this." he added, speaking over sobs that were trying to take control of his speaking. He did not allow Justin another chance to respond. He strolled toward the door and yanked it open. He stepped outside, holding Angel tightly, and left the door wide open for the others to glance inside.

Eyes widened as Brian made his appearance in the hallway. It seemed as if all the friends of the couple had escaped their rooms to listen on an the argument that closed the door on many issues. Brian glanced around the hall, tears still trickling from his eyes. He sniffled lightly, clearing his throat. He had no words for the spectators. He couldn't give them the attention that was expected. His heart was bleeding and his mind was walking a tight-wire. "Nick, I'm leaving... are you coming?" Brian stammered out, glancing at his friend through tear-soaked eyes. He sniffled again, holding his shivering son closely.

Nick glanced down to J.C. He proceeded to hold J.C. close to his chest and ponder his situation and his options. The choices were not grand and neither could lead him to a stable life, immediately. He brushed his fingers through J.C.'s hair, endeavoring to hold all words for him. "Go ahead Brian. I have some, uhm, unfinished business at the minute," Nick responded, looking up at his friend. He could see that Brian did not trust him. It was written into Brian's eyes. He watched Brian leave in a lingering silence, no one daring to stand up and question Brian concerning the argument and his future plans. Everyone was still in their own state of astonishment, excluding Nikki. She stayed huddled in a corner, only observing, never speaking.

J.C. lifted himself from Nick's embrace when seeing that Brian had left. He turned so that he could face Nick, his eyes only watching his lover's. Tears were still seeping through, but they were only guilty tears, not mournful ones. He felt Nick brush a hand over his cheek in an affectionate way. "Looks like the tables have turned, lover." Nick whispered, staring into J.C.'s blurry eyes. J.C. sniffled and nodded, admitting to his crimes.

"I don't know why it happened, but it did and I'm sorry. Nickie, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have... I knew not to... but I..." J.C. was lost in his own words and where he wanted them to go. He knew, if anything, he had to plead. He could feel Nick studying him, watching for the least bit of truth. "I'm truly sorry baby." J.C. added with a minute sob. He rubbed his scarlet-red nose and sighed. More tears flicked from his eyelids.

Nick was left to debate. He had to come to a decision, a conclusion. And he had to do it with the eyes of many of his friends looking on, still in an utter silence. No approval or disapproval was going to be made during the debate. It would be left for the aftermath. Nick was aware of it. He did not fear it. Matter of factly, he only hoped it would win approval for him in some of his friends' eyes.

"I've been in your shoes Josh. God, I've been there more times than I've wanted to be. I know what's racing through your mind right now and I know what you'll probably do and think later on. But I have to let you know, I'm not Brian. I'm not Justin. But..." Nick let all of his words digest in the air. He sighed meaningfully. He swallowed hard and ignored what his mind was trying to tell him. "But I'm still your fiancé." Nick whispered, leaning forward to place a small kiss on J.C.'s forehead. An exhale of relief crossed J.C.'s lips when hearing the revalation and he reached out and grabbed hold of Nick. He hugged him with satisfaction, a satisfaction that was not felt by Nikki as she looked on. She turned her head and felt her heart slipping again. 'You did it again,' she thought, hugging herself.

"Wait, can we get something clear here? Justin was having an affair with J.C.? All of this time?" Chris questioned a thought that had crossed several minds. The words caused Nick and J.C. to break apart. J.C. shook his head automatically. "No, no, no. It wasn't an affair. We didn't sleep together. It's only been a few weeks where we were there for each other in a way. We experimented with feelings." J.C. explained the situation in brief words. Lynn Harliss stood at the end of the wall with her arms crossed, doubtful of the whole dilemma. She had her own thoughts on where it stemmed from, but she did not voice them to the entire hall. She was saving them for her opportunity to speak. "Okay, but you were 'experimenting' with a married man. A father, Josh. You've jeopardized a lifetime commitment between two very loving and honest people." Danay pointed out with her own convictions for the two. J.C. sulked against a wall and sighed heavily. He was being placed under the spotlight and he did not enjoy it. "Justin jeopardized his marriage. I merely expressed my feelings for him as more than a friend and needed to know what that meant to me and, I guess, to him too." J.C. argued mildly. It wasn't a strong statement and it was one that Nick began to question.

Another question was not able to spill from anyone else's mouth. All eyes seem to flock to the sight before them as J.C. was snatched backward and away from Nick's grasp again. His body was flung into the opposite wall, near Mandy's body. Mandy jumped with surprise, scrambling to get away from J.C.'s stumbling body. She shrieked out with surprise while the others quietly watched Lance grab a hold of the collar of the shirt J.C. wore, yanking him up from the wall. Nick's eyes widened with shock. Seeing Lance slam J.C. into the wall and then yank him forward was an unexpected sight. "You bastard! What the hell is wrong with you? You went too fucking far this time." Lance declared, holding J.C. tightly, almost lifting him from his feet. J.C. stared at him with utter fear running through his eyes. He had never witness such anger flowing through Lance, except for one undeniable incident in his life. "Jesus, Lance." Nikki gasped, moving closer toward them. "I didn't do anything." J.C. declared, struggling to break free of Lance's tight grip. Lance shook his head, anger being exposed through his light green eyes. "This is a marriage you asshole. This isn't me, you, and Nick you're fucking with. Justin's married!" Lance barked, never backing away from J.C. J.C. shook with terror.

As J.C. again tried to argue his side, Lance's fist smashed against his lip, causing his footing to slip and his body to slam into the ground. "Oh shit!" Chris exclaimed, making his footwork swift. He leaped between Lance and J.C., hoping to prevent Lance from landing another punch into J.C. Chris' movement was not needed. Nick clenched his fingers into Lance's shirt and hurled him backward. Lance tripped several feet back, landing on the ground on his side. His head bounced against the floor. Chris' mouth fell open. The incidents breaking lose were abrupt. Only eyes observed, but no one stopped anything.

Nikki slowly knelt down next to the curled body of J.C. He whimpered lightly, grasping his face to hide his shame from everyone. Nikki glanced around before taking J.C.'s head in her lap. She pet his tear-soaked face and tried to hush him. She felt a warm substance cross her fingers and she glanced downward. Her fingers were covered with a mixture of tears and blood. She sighed lightly and continued to comfort her friend.

Mandy assisted Lance in standing, fearful of what other actions might occur in the hallway. "Come on, James, come on." she said, struggling to keep her friend from reacting to Nick's actions. Joey grasped one of Lance's arms, dragging him away from the scene. "It's okay." Mandy whispered, petting Lance's blonde hair. "Just get me the fuck away from that bastard." Lance spoke harshly, beginning to cooperate with both Joey and Mandy. Mandy sighed lightly. She was not adjusted to hearing Lance's tongue laced with profanity and hatred. She was unaware that Lance hated himself at the moment. He knew he should have seen the signs in the last fight he and J.C. shared. He regretted not watching J.C.'s every move and questioning why Justin seemed to be the only one comforting J.C. He was just as blind as the others, but in a more sullen fashion.

"I can't believe you're blaming Josh for this! I can't believe you act as if he's guilty here. You know Justin probably seduced him. You know that he was probably just looking to get back at Brian for the times he was with me. That's all. He just wants to hurt me." Nick barked in Lance's direction as he walked away with Mandy and Joey. He couldn't figure out why he said the words. They were so selfish, so unlike his emotions. He listened as a loud sigh shook in the hall. He glanced in Veronica's direction, watching her lean against the wall with an exasperated touch on her lips. She shook her head at him, leaning off of the wall as the others began to move around. "Blind as the three little mice. It's a shame Nick, you should really think about what you're getting yourself into." Veronica remarked, moving in the direction of her own room. Nick arched his eyebrow, confused and angered. He did not like riddles and Veronica always offered them. "And you mean what?" Nick asked arrogantly, pressed his lips together. "Look before you leap. Oh yeah, don't ever say that Justin seduced anyone again. He's as innocent as they come in that department, buddy." Veronica assured Nick, entering her room and shutting the door. She left Nick speechless and, again, he was the vulnerable one.

The early evening began to wrap its strong arms around the city of Orlando, holding it tightly as life began to spring around the city. J.C. Chasez crept inside of a dance studio at the Trans Continental metropolis. It had been over a year since he had dared to walk into the studio, citing *NSYNC's differences with Lou Pearlman and his company as his reason for abandoning all life at Trans Continental. During this dawning hour he was in search of a friend. He could not return to his apartment in Orlando for fear of having to speak with anyone who witnessed the incident in the hallway. He thought to find refuge at Justin's home, but he knew that was a war field that his feet could not walk through. His options were slim and virtually nonexistent.

J.C. glanced around the dance studio. It was filled with music and singing, a lively atmosphere. In the middle of the dance floor were five souls, the girls known as Innosense. To the side sat some of their label reps and P.R.'s. Standing behind the girls of Innosense was Robert Jacquez, their choreographer. One other person sat in the room, her red hair pulled up into a loose ponytail and her aspiring blue eyes watching the girls dance heavily. 'Where's Lynn?' J.C. thought as he approached the lone girl who watched Innosense dance heavily. He was puzzled by her disappearance during one of Innosense's rigorous rehearsals.

I always felt kinda special around you babe

Ho, oh yeah

And now I know the reason I've been feeling this way, oh

(Cause only you) Light my fire

(And only you) Can do me right

This is it

I think I'm losing my sense

And I can't get a grip

My heart is beating and I'm feeling alive

Cause when I look into your eyes

I realize

It's all about you and I

"Wait! Wait!" Robert called out, causing the production to slowly come to a halt. Nikki lowered her microphone with a small scowl on her face. She crossed her arms and glared at Robert as the others slowly began to huddle around her. "What's up? I thought we were on point." Danay panted out, searching the room for a towel. Veronica automatically found a seat on the floor to relax her muscles and await disapproving words from Robert. "Ladies, I know you're working hard to make sure this concert is your best one yet, but don't let foolish mistakes hold you back. Jenny, you were too far off to the right halfway through Nikki's verse. Veronica and Danay, you were holding your mic too far away from your face. Nikki, you put too much concentration on your vocals and not enough on your steps. You were lacking. Mandy, slow down a bit when you hit that first bridge. You went a little too fast and had to catch yourself." Robert listed off all of the mistakes with no break. He glanced around to see if anyone dared to disagree with him. All was silent. "Don't get sloppy on me ladies, you're better than this." Robert clapped his hands while trying to offer up some encouragement.

Nikki lowered her head and cursed under her breath. She didn't bother to glance around the room, therefore, she did not notice J.C. Her mind was strictly on the rehearsals. She needed to know that Innosense would be in their greatest form to win over the Orlando audience they had performed for many times before. "Well, let's try it again." Danay sighed as she pranced past Nikki. She toweled off her face as she past her friend, never considering Nikki's silence as a factor. "Maybe we shouldn't do 'This Is It.' I think we should stick to just doing 'www.fan-ta-see', 'So Together', 'Ride', 'Rain Rain' and 'Say No More." Nikki advised, lifting her head to glance around at her comrades. Her eyes caught a glimmer of J.C. sitting closely with Amanda, watching her every move like an eagle. She ran her hand over her baby blue bandanna and blushed lightly.

"I think she's right. Getting this choreography down for 'This Is It' so soon may really mess up how we planned to do the show." Mandy agreed lightly, adjusting her ponytail of blonde-red hair. Veronica shrugged, refusing to voice any opinion. She only wished to return to her apartment and relax for the rest of the coming night. "But we should try and change it up a bit. The audience needs something different for the last show. This is what counts." Jenny disagreed firmly. She controlled her pants as she still tried to catch her breath from the heated performances. "I think we've changed it quite nicely with adding 'Ride' and what not. Let's just nix 'This Is It' for now and concentrate on the other songs we have on the set list." Veronica finally suggested. Her words were enough to end the debate, but not without Jenny moving away with a scowl and bitter feelings toward the decision. "Okay, let's get back to work ladies, come on." Robert suggested, clapping his hands and signalling for the background music to return to the rehearsal hall.

J.C. sat back into his chair, still endeavoring to be unnoticed. He glanced to his right and watched Amanda. She eyed the group, observing every step they took and every move their body make. The flicker of regret often rolled through Amanda's azure eyes. She was reminiscing on her days with Innosense by watching them and J.C. knew it. It was too obvious to him, the way Amanda began to mimic the steps her friends made and the way she mouthed the words that Jenny sung, knowing the verses were meant for Amanda.

J.C. raised his hand and rested it on Amanda's left shoulder, stirring her from her stiff concentration. Amanda jumped a little, smiling smally when seeing J.C. sitting next to her. Amanda brushed her red hair back and chewed on her glossy lower lip. "Hey baby." Amanda greeted J.C. She stayed simple in her words, well aware of the events that occured earlier in the day. J.C. offered a grin as a greeting. "What are you doing here Amanda? Shouldn't you be at home with Amaiya and A.J.?" J.C. wondered. Amanda peered at J.C. with curiosity. The same question ran through her head at that moment. She shrugged and turned her attention back to Innosense as they rehearsed 'Ride.' "A.J. and Amaiya are visiting at his mom's house. Nikki and Veronica asked me to come to the rehearsal so that we could go out afterwards, you know, hang out and do girl things." Amanda responded with a reasonable answer. J.C. affronted a joyful smile, but deeply, he was looking to spend time with Nikki following the practice.

Amanda cleared her throat softly, moving her shoulders to the next eight-steps that the girls practiced. "Do you miss it?" J.C. asked, leaning closer to Amanda to speak with her. Amanda puckered her lips. She grinned innocently. "Sometimes, yeah, I miss it." Amanda answered him flatly. Her charm had faded for a second. She never admitted to anyone that she missed the times she spent with Veronica and Nikki, the days she chatted with Danay, and the nights she and Mandy laughed over the silliest things. It was a shame that kept her pride alive and prevented her from talking about returning to Innosense. She just allowed Innosense's crew to move as it did, without her, with Jenny replacing her. Yet, motherhood satisfied her to a new degree.

"Okay, that one was good! Take a ten minute break and then ya'll can warm up on your vocals and then you all can go home." Robert called out. An immediate sigh of relief crossed many lips after Robert spoke. The instrumental to 'Ride' faded from the speakers and all of the girls ceased dancing. "Finally." Veronica breathed out, searching for a bottled water in the midst of workout bags, towels, and sweaty garments. "Man, this is a workout for you." Jenny pressed out, taking a quick seat on the floor of the studio. She brushed her hair back and took a swift glance over to where Amanda and J.C. sat. She arched her eyebrow with suspicion while watching the two share a small conversation. Her blue eyes circled with disapproval.

"Do you wanna ride?!" Mandy chanted as she ran over to where J.C. and Amanda sat. Mandy took the available seat next to Amanda, ignoring J.C.'s full presence. Without a thought, she left the sweat perspiring from her brow as she tightened her ponytail again. "I know you wanna ride, 'Manda, come on." Mandy giggled, attempting to repeat the dance routine while seated. Amanda shot her head at Mandy with wild laughter in her eyes. She laughed lowly at Mandy, her smile releasing contagious vibes. "Where to Blondie?" Amanda asked softly, observing the others as they moved around. "Vegas!" Mandy jested, leaping from her seat to begin a more energetic rendition of a salsa dance. Amanda felt her laughter burst from her stomach and leap into the air as she peered at Mandy.

Nikki slinked herself over to the area, finding a seat next to J.C. She took a small sip of her water, eyeing J.C. with wonder. He kept his eyes low, glancing down at the floor as no one acknowledge his presence in the room. She permitted one of her hands to drop to his thigh, squeezing it lightly to draw his attention as she lowered her water bottle. She flicked a smile in his direction, anticipating a smile to leave J.C.'s thick lips. "Why aren't you at home?" Nikki inquired softly, leaning her body close to her ex-boyfriend's. J.C. slithered one of his armsa round Nikki's small frame, tugging her closer. He sighed endlessly, still glancing at the floor. "Because Nick'll be there or he'll be calling there, or Chris'll be waiting for me there, or Joey will be stopping by with Britney to chastise me, or I'll be hearing from someone that I don't feel like arguing with right now." J.C. babbled. He was stressed and it showed in his facial expressions. His jaw flexed with a strong disposition.

Nikki leaned her head onto J.C.'s shoulder, sighing lowly. She ran her hand over the seam of his jeans, contemplating the entire situation. Her fingers traced further to the right until they could touch J.C.'s hand. She took it into her's, holding his hand tightly. Soon, J.C.'s hand returned the gesture, interlocking their fingers as they basked in the joys of being close. The silence between them was softening. It allowed both J.C. and Nikki to truly think over where they wanted to go with what they had.

"You don't think Justin would be waiting for you at your apartment?" Nikki dared to ask a question that was lingering over her heart. She felt J.C.'s fingers petting her knuckles, pleading to hug her. "In a way, I wish he was so I could talk to him and find out what's going to happen next. But, I know, it'd just be more drama for the both of us if we talked right now." J.C. replied with a sullen voice. He cleared his throat, struggling to keep a strong, optimistic view of the predicament. Nikki lowered her eyes, watching J.C.'s fingers. "But honestly, I don't want that right now. I don't want to be with any of them right now." J.C. admitted in a soft voice, brushing his cheek over Nikki's head. Nikki sighed again. She could feel J.C. growing closer to her, closer than he should be.

"Okay ya'll, come on, we need to get back to rehearsal. Let's start with 'Say No More' and work our way backwards." Danay declared in a loud voice, striving to pull her band mates back to the dance floor. "Okie dokie. As long as all we have to do is sing and no dancing, I'm good to go." Veronica snickered, pulling herself from the floor next to Jenny and standing up. Jenny sighed and rolled to her side so that she could stand. "No fancy things girls, I'm tired." Jenny complained. Mandy rolled her eyes with a smile. "Jenny's always tired." Mandy bellowed, rising from her position next to Amanda. She patted Amanda's shoulder while picking up her microphone. "Oh Nickums, darlin', let's go." Danay called out to her friend, breaking Nikki's concentration from J.C. Amanda turned her head in J.C. and Nikki's vacinity, frowning a little when seeing Nikki and J.C. so close. It wasn't a good sign to her.

Nikki lifted her head with a ghostly appearance. She could feel the eyes of each meber of Innosense frowning on her. She licked her lips slowly. "Okay, I'm coming." Nikki agreed, nodding before standing. J.C. did not release her hand as she stood. "Are we still going to dinner after this?" Jenny asked, adjusting her sport's top. Veronica wrinkled her brow a little, giving more attention to J.C. and Nikki than to Jenny. "Oh yeah, 'Manda, you have to join us." Mandy insisted, twirling a finger through her hair. Amanda scraped her eyes away from J.C. and Nikki. She puckered her lips, giving Jenny a small stare. She wondered if she would disapprove. "Sure." Amanda replied.

Nikki had forgotten the plan to join her friends for a late dinner following the rehearsal. She glanced down to J.C., reading his lonely expression. He still had a grip on her hand. "Let me stay with you tonight." J.C. whispered his plea. Nikki glanced around to her friends as they all prepared for their acapella routine. "Nikki, come on." Mandy pleaded. "Please." J.C. beckoned of his ex-girlfriend. Nikki sucked in her lower lip as the eyes of the room began to flock to her. "Nik', go ahead..." Amanda signalled. "Peaches, please..." J.C.'s voice continued to plague Nikki. "Nikki!" Jenny barked out, frustrated with her friend. "All right!" Nikki shouted out, surprising everyone except Amanda. She knew it would come. Danay crossed her arms with disapproval. She watched Nikki move slowly. "All right..." Nikki whispered. Nikki turned her eyes back to J.C. as she spoke, agreeing to his request.

Clothing was scattered across the living room, laying on all ends of the area. The room was quiet, only occupied by one soul. The sounds of that person steadily sleeping was tantalizing to the room, everything staying in a state of peacefullness. The morning was breaking, lgith streaming in through the window and touching the face of the sleeping patron.

Nikki DeLoach pushed her fingers through her hair as she stepped quietly into the room. She held her robe closed, covering the baggy halter top and boxers she wore. She peered around her apartment, fearful that anyone would visit her that morning. Rehearsals began in two hours and the van would be pulling up to her apartment in almost an hour's time. She kept her eyes peering as her cat crossed her path, purring amicably at her master. Nikki sighed softly, allowing the cat to rub closely against her ankle. "Hey baby." Nikki whispered to her kitten, bending downward to fondle the cat. The purrs she received brought a bright smile to her face.

The sound of something else pulled Nikki's attention away from her cat. Her phone blazed loudly in the room, surprising her and startling her. She stood up briskly, glancing around the room to see if her sleeping friend was awoken. Her lips pressed out a smile when seeing that no movement occured. She took quick, but quiet, steps to the phone, pulling it up before it released a third ring. "Hello?" Nikki panted out, searching for the identity of her early morning caller. She took a seat on the arm of the couch where her friend slept. "Nik'? You okay girl?" Mandy's voice questioned Nikki. Nikki exhaled deeply, striving to relax herself in the room. She brushed her bangs back "No, no, I'm okay Mandy. What's going on?" Nikki whispered back to her friend. "We're going to be running a little late today. Jenny's got a bit of a headache and she says her body's drained. Plus Veronica is going crazy because she can't talk to Justin and Ms. Lynn is, well, uhm, 'talking' with Justin and I don't think it's going well." Mandy explained the situations that were hampering her and her friends to arrive at Nikki's apartment promptly.

Nikki glanced around the room, viewing pieces of her clothing strewn across the floor and furniture. She allowed her robe to slip off of her shoulders. She lowered her head in personal shame. She glanced down to the figure laying behind her. It was J.C. Nikki couldn't believe he was laying on the couch in her apartment, sleeping soundly. He was only clad in a comforter, his clothes mixed with her's across the room. "Nikki, are you okay? When you didn't come to dinner with us last night, me and Amanda started to worry about you. Did you leave with J.C.? What's up girl? You know you can talk to sweet old Mandy." Mandy inquired, encouraging her friend to release her thoughts. Nikki puckered her lips, her eyes tracing over J.C.'s form. She did not like the results of the prior night. She did not enjoy being weak and she did not luxuriate in her vulnerability. "Yeah, I left with Josh last night, but let's just leave it at that. I'm okay, don't worry. I'm a grown girl, Mandy." Nikki assured her friend in a softer voice. She nibbled delicately on her lower lip. "All right, Nikki, I know you know what you're doing." Mandy agreed stubbornly.

Nikki swallowed and closed her lively green eyes. She was thankful. "We'll probably be at your place in two hours, Nik', so be ready." Mandy admonished. Nikki nodded, keeping her eyes closed. "I'll be ready Mandy, don't worry." Nikki assured her, concluding their conversation over the phone.

Nikki lowered the phone from her ear, sighing cautiously. A hand ran over the small of her back, causing Nikki to shiver. She swallowed and then exhaled loudly. Soon lips pressed against her bare shoulder, touching her in a delicate way. "We have to talk." Nikki sighed out as the hand drew up from her back and began to lace through her brown hair. "I know Peaches, I know." J.C. whispered, cuddling close to his ex-girlfriend.

J.C.'s arms wrapped around Nikki's waist, hugging her. He pulled her backward and into his lap. Nikki slipped into J.C.'s lap, her body being covered by the heat of J.C.'s nude body. She pushed a section of her hair behind her ear. She didn't know if she should pull away or move closer to her former lover. "Josh, we almost had sex last night. You're about to marry Nick in a few months, caught up in this dramatic affair with Justin, and now... now you're here holding me and I don't know where you're headed." Nikki gushed with a heavy depression. She closed her eyes, feeling the stubble of J.C.'s face brush against her cheek. She could melt in his arms, but she refrained. "To tell you the truth, I don't know either Peaches, but I'm glad you stopped me last night." J.C. whispered into Nikki's ear. His lips pressed against her cheek, showing her more affection than she needed. "Why?" she questioned his words, brushing her fingers over his soft hair. J.C. took in a shallow breath of Nikki's scent, missing it. He gave her another small kiss on the shoulder. "I don't want you caught up in this depression with me, Peaches. It seems everyone I have sex with gets hurt and their lives are never the same. I don't want you to hate me a few months from now." J.C. responded as his fingers pet Nikki's cool skin. Nikki shuddered again, closer her eyes tighter. She twitched her nose. "Josh, you're too late, I'm already caught up in this, but don't hurt me, please." Nikki whispered, her body naturally molding into J.C.'s.

J.C. brushed his cheek on Nikki's shoulder, resting his head on it. He ran his hands over Nikki's sides, contemplating his choices. When Nikki's hands came to rest on his, he was scared. He feared returning to the life he had with her because it was too perfect and ended too tragically. Both he and Nikki walked away from the relationship with broken hearts and tears in their eyes. He could remember it taking almost a year before they could speak casually again, just as friends. As she watched him move from a short-term relationships with Bobbie Thomas and Stacy Fergusson, to a sexual relationship with Lance, and then becoming Lance's boyfriend, followed by Nick's boyfriend. J.C. observed Nikki float through a small relationship with Ryan of Take 5 and then, ultimately, settling herself with Kevin. Never did the other approve of the relationships, but only allowed them to continue for their own heart's sake. Now it was hard for both J.C. and Nikki to deny that their love as teenagers still kindled in their adult lives.

"If... if I married Nick, would you be able to move on?" J.C. asked an important question. Nikki turned her body a little, taking a moment to stare into J.C.'s light blue eyes. She caressed his chin with her finger, only looking into his eyes. She read what he wanted from her and she studied his reaction to her touch. "If you married Nick, would you be able to move on?" Nikki whispered back, leaning downward. Her lips ran over his in a gentle motion, striving to see if the feelings were inside of both of them. His lips gradually began to return the smooth kiss, leaning her back into the couch as he took the more aggressive position. Nikki permitted J.C. to squeeze and caress her as they kissed, searching to find her final answers.

The afternoon struck a more sour note in the Littrell house. Brian walked with long strides, carrying his lap top under one arm and another bag in his other hand. He did not look back, he did not want to. Returning to his house was something he did not want to do, but he had no choice. He chose not to sleep in his own house the day previous, opting to sleep at A.J.'s home. Brian only spoke with Justin to inform him that their son could stay with Justin. Leaving his son was the last thing Brian wanted to do, but again, he was given no choice. He could not snatch Angel up from his home and expect him to understand what was occuring between his fathers. He had to allow Justin to have custody for that moment until Brian could truly gather himself and decide where his life was headed next. He was aware that his marriage was close to finished.

Justin was unable to speak with Brian. He had shared a small argument with Brian upon his arrival that day, another pain in his heart, and now Justin was caught up in a fierce argument with his mother, again. His eyes stared at Brian as he took a glancve back over his shoulder, looking into the house that once held so much love. He could feel Brian's eyes searching for him, but Justin hid under the shade of the shadowy kitchen. Justin could not decide if it was best for Brian to leave or if he wanted to plead with Brian to stay, to hold him, and to discuss what their marriage meant to both of them.

"Justin Randall Littrell, do you hear me?" Lynn hollered into the phone, tugging Justin's dark blue eyes away from Brian. Justin grimaced, his brow wrinkling. "Yes, damn it, I hear you." Justin barked back, turning his head so that he did not look at Brian. "Justin, don't you dare take that tone with me, do you hear me? I'm not Brian, I'm your mother. Your marriage is just about over and I'm going to be the only one you have left after this." Lynn scolded her son. Justin sighed loudly, stepping further into the kitchen. "My marriage is not over." Justin growled. Before he realized it, he had said the words aloud. He had released an inner thought of his. He did not want his marriage to end because Brian made his life complete.

Justin turned on his heels, beginning to exit the kitchen. Before he could clear the doorway, Brian stood before him with a straight face, no emotion exposed. Justin caught himself. Brian's stare wasn't friendly, but it was neither hateful. "I'll be at the house in Miami if Angel needs me. Don't call unless it concerns Angel, Justin. Don't tell anyoen else to call either." Brian spoke dully, his lips barely parting as he spoke. Justin licked his lips, splitting his attention between his barking mother and his lifeless husband. Neither was a support for Justin at the moment. He was going to have to suffer through his guilt and his pain without a shoulder to lean on. It was more than evident to Justin and it left him speechless.

Brian did not permit Justin to speak again, he turned towards the door and began his exit from the house. "When can we talk?" Justin called out to Brian, hoping Brian would also want to save their marriage. Brian continued to walk, ignoring Justin's words. Justin felt his heart being swallowed by the guilt as Brian's steps stayed steady. "When I'm good and ready to." Brian replied bleekly, stepping outside of the house and leaving the door ajar.

Justin slammed his foot into the doorway of the kitchen, his anger flaring. He was losing Brian, without a doubt. He could not stop it and he knew it was his fault for never fessing up to his wrongs. His mother's voice began to blare into his phone again, only caressing his anger to a new height. "God, what do you want of me Mom? I'm tired of going through this all day long." Justin grumbled, reentering the kitchen with a scowl. "I want you to figure out what the hell you want. God, Justin, this is so stupid. Why would you want to cheat on Brian? Do you want to be like me and your father? Do you want to have a divorce and have Angel split between the two of you?" Lynn stressed, chastising her son for his ignorant actions.

Justin raked his fingers through his hair. His face was flushed with a red shade. There was no escpaing the questioning. "I don't want any of that. I don't want Angel's feelings to be neglected like you and Daddy neglected mine and that's why I'm trying to talk with Brian. I'm trying to make this work for me and Angel, not the rest of ya'll." Justin replied bitterly.

Lynn sighed uncontrollably. She was never satisfied with Justin's answers, only irritated. He could never deliver a logic that she could succumb to. "Justin, I... I don't know what to say to you. You've truly messed up this time. If you had just avoided this whole Brian thing and stayed with Britney, things might have been different. They might have went better for all of us." Lynn gushed, unaware of the words she spoke.

Lynn's apology never got a chance to surface when she realized what she had said. With a strong, brute force, Justin threw his phone across the kitchen until it slammed and shattered against the kitchen wall, cascading the phone into large pieces across the floor. Justin was not fazed by the sound of the phone scattering across the floor. His eyes peered around the kitchen searching for another object to release his aggression on. He couldn't hold in his anger against J.C., his mother, his husband, and himself anymore. It had to be liberated. It was his only way of expressing himself.

"Did you have a nice talk with your mother?" Britney's Southern drawl entered the room unexpectedly. Justin shuddered when hearing her speak. He turned his head a little to see her standing in the doorway, her arms crossed in anger and her face pale. He sighed incouragibly. Life truly wasn't going his way. "Why are you here?" he asked through clenched teeth. He wasn't showing any signs of gratefullness for Britney's appearance.

Britney puckered her lips. She leaned off the doorway and struted into the kitchen, glancing down at the shards of the phone. She shook her head with disapproval. "Your husband might be really hurt right now and he might also be quite bitter, but he's not heartless. He asked me and Joey to come over here and stay a few days with you until you and him had a chance to talk and figure out how you're going to do Angel's visitation with him and his mail forwarding and all that other junk." Britney answered him plainly. Justin brought a hand up to his lips. He felt them tremble under his fingertips. "He still cares." Justin whispered, his words being choked by a sob. Britney nodded arrogantly. She laid one of her hand's on Justin's shoulder. She wanted to sigh, but she knew it would be a sign of disgrace and she was there to comfort Justin. "Brian might have a big heart, but Justin, I don't know if it'll save your marriage from the inevitable." Britney said frankly. She knew Justin was crumbling, but she did not know how to save him from a depression he would soon be suffering. "I can't lose him." Justin finally sobbed, lowering his head with unescapable mortification. He stumbled into Britney's warm arms and cuddled close to his ex-girlfriend, striving to think of a solution to his ending marriage.

The evening was treaching on in the city of Miami. A small surburban house, set but a few blocks from the beach, was quiet and dim-lit. Brian paced around the kitchen, chatting kindly with his mother while unpacking a few of his groceries. "Yeah, I know Ma, I don't want Angel to feel it's different either, but it's going to be obvious when he has to travel some hours just to see his father now." Brian spoke lowly to his mother while sliding a jug of milk into the refrigerator. He flexed his jaw muscles with disapproval. "Brian, I know it's going to be hard on all of you. I still can't believe Justin would do this. I mean, despite all of the feelings me and your father had in the past about you being with a man, Justin just seemed to fit the profile as someone that could make you happy, man or woman. Now to know this... I'm just dumbfounded." Jackie Littrell remarked, dragging her voice. Brian felt the same emotion that his mother did. He too was speechless on the matter. "I'm not going to say Justin was right, but my heart tells me that he wasn't the one who initiated this or wanted to keep it going. It's just the fact of the matter that he would do it and not tell me that makes me want to end it all." Brian commented, leaning up against the counter in the kitchen.

Brian's eyes strayed around the room that he barely knew. It wasn't really his house without Justin and Angel in it. It was a wedding present from Brian's in-laws and he had only visited twice with his husband and son.

It was too foreign to him, but for now, it was his home.

"Well, Brian, you know how me and your father feel about divorce. It is not something we ever want to see our sons suffer through and it is surely not the way we raised," Jackie spoke frankly to her son. She aws aware he was going to need the words to aid him in his final resolution. "But, you're twenty-five, Brian, you're old enough to decide what to do. So even though me and your father wouldn't want it, we know how you're feeling right now. If divorce is the way for you to escape this, then just make sure that your son is not the one languishing in the end." Jackie ultimately said, allowing her son to take her words and consider them.

Brian scratched the edge of his nose while leaning on the counter. His fingertips burned, reminiscing on the many kissing Justin had given him there. His cheeks flustered and his head began to droop. He wasn't happy, but he had to be. He had to find a way to make that possible. He could not be the one who cried lonely tears because of something that occured between Justin and J.C. There were but two ways out and Brian still could not choose which one would benefit him more.

"Brian, your brother wants to speak with you... uhm, are you up to it?" Jackie inquired, searching for her son's best interest. Brian contemplated the idea of receiving some 'brotherly advice' from his brother. He knew his brother was somewhat of an optomistic, but he was also never afraid of being blunt and correct when it came to his advice. Brian was also aware of Harold's initial thought of Brian dating a guy and eventually marrying Justin. Brian felt a bit of distrust in his heart when it came to Harold and his biased words. "Sure, put him on the phone Ma." Brian agreed at last, taking in a deep breath to prepare himself for the conversation he was about to share with his older brother.

Brian listened to the sounds of the phone being exchanged and whispered words, no doubt each word concerning him. He exhaled lightly as he heard a man's voice being cleared. "Hey bro." Brian spoke up before his brother could. "Hey Brian, feeling any better?" Harold wondered, already knowledgeable of the answer. Brian drooped his head even more. "Not really, Harold. Things haven't changed much between me and him, and well, I haven't been able to spend any time with my son because of this." Brian responded meekly. He could feel his brother's judgment already taking over.

"Why don't you high tail it back to Orlando and get Lil' Ducky. You and him should not have to suffer because of Justin's ignorance." Harold debated. Brian shook his head immediately. He had senseable reasons for leaving his son back in Orlando. "No, Harold, Angel needs to stay in Orlando for now. Right now, I don't have much for him here and I'm not even settled here. I don't want to snatch Timber up from an environment he knows so well and from people that he feels comfortable with. I know that everyone up there will look after Timber and I know Justin won't neglect him." Brian argued softly, striving not to stir up any aggressive feelings in his brother. "Okay, but what about you? What about the relationship you and your son have? Should that be neglected Rok? Come on now, it's not fair. You see Angel on what? Maybe the weekends? A couple days out of the week? You're not the one who slept with another man." Harold presented a stronger argument that Brian had difficulty fighting. It crossed his mind that he was not the one who ruined the marriage, but he had to also configure where Angel would survive best. "Harold, Justin did not sleep with J.C. At least, that's what he tells me and I have a strong feeling he's actually telling the truth. And this situation with Angel is only for right now." Brian explained in hopes of winning over his brother.

Harold sighed heavily into the phone. Brian could taste the displeasure in his brother's voice. "Stop defending him, Brian. Stop trying to make it look like Justin is innocent and that ya'll are going to get back together tomorrow or something. You need to divorce him and get your son back so that you can move on and find a life that will spare you this stress." Harold reproached. He was not satisfied with what Brian allowed to happen. It was wrong in his eyes. "Harold, we're serparated right now, isn't that good enough for you? My God, that's about as far as I want to go right now." Brian became frustrated with his brother's demands. He wanted to make his own decision, give his own choices. He could not deal with his family offering a negative outcome that Brian wasn't ready to accept. "We all know that separated is a nice term for, 'We're about to get divorced, but in two weeks.'" Harold sarcastically said. Brian pressed his face into an angered expression. "Look, Harold, I'll talk to ya'll later on. I've got to get a hold of some management people and let them know that I've made a little change of address right now." Brian exhaled out. He could feel the silence from Harold. He didn't want to hear Harold apologize or offer kinder words.

Harold missed that opportunity. "Tell Ma I'll call her later on tonight." Brian added before clicking off his phone, refusing to allow his brother to say goodbye.

Later it was, eight o'clock giving up its time to nine. Brian sat in the office of the Miami home, viewing the lyrics to several of the songs that were recorded for the Backstreet Boys new album. He cleared his throat quietly as the sounds of Open House Party echoed into the room. "So we have the members of *NSYNC here with us tonight, well, four of you are here tonight. Where's Justin?" the DJ asked, causing Brian's eyes to raise from the paper and glance at the stereo. He peered his eyes at it, awaiting a response from his friends. "Justin's just a bit under the weather tonight. He wasn't up to coming down here, so we let him chill at home and rest up for the concert." Chris replied. He was lying with good intentions. Brian shook his head, turning his eyes back down to the lyrics.

"So, Justin missed a chance to hang with us in the studio because he was sick?" the DJ continued to question *NSYNC on the topic. "Touring can really wear you out an he's just out of it. So we didn't pressure him to come or anything. He needs his rest for tomorrow's concert." Lance concurred with decent reasons. They all had to cover for their friend, well aware that Justin was torn at this point because his marriage was falling apart. "That's understandable. We wouldn't want Justin to pass out here in the studio and then the fans stop listening to us thinking we tried to kill Justin Timberlake. That would suck." the DJ joked with *NSYNC, drawing out small chuckles from the four. "That would suck." J.C. agreed. His voice caused Brian to lower his brow, his hate towards him growing. 'Bastard.' Brian thought while reviewing another set of lyrics.

"Okay, speaking of Justin, he still isn't getting out of the media when it comes to his love life. Does he ever get tired of being asked who he's dating, Britney or Brian?" the DJ continued the interview with a more controversial inquiry. Brian felt unsettled in his seat. The interview was striking too many sour notes with him. "Yes, we all do. It's a shame that the media has to know so badly which person we happen to be dating." Lance replied first. "For Justin, it gets even worse. Everyone is so into whether or not he's really with Britney or with Brian from Backstreet or whoever. So he gets put in the tabloids a lot and he hates it. It's never easy on his relationship." Chris spoke up in defense of his friend. "The fans are wondering if he'll ever come clean with his answers. Can you guys at least give us a hint or something?" the DJ pleaded with the group. Brian sighed and then looked up again. He was feeling uneasy about the interview.

His mind was beginning to convince him that he no longer cared whether or not the world knew about his marriage to Justin. With his families' many requests, Brian figured by the time it hit the world, Brian and Justin would already be in court handling their divorce. His heart reminded him of how many times Justin stood by him and what the revalation would do to Justin's freedom and how much negative attention would begin to fall on his son, Angel. Brian did not want that.

"Well, I can tell you that he's not seeing Britney. They are really good friends and have known each other for years, but Britney and I still have a relationship going on. She's just a really good friend of Justin's." Joey responded to the DJ's question with a cocky attitude. "And you're not just a 'cover-up' like the tabloids report?" the DJ shot a direct question to Joey. "No! No, no, no. That's crazy. I would not cover anything up for anybody's relationship. Britney's been my girlfriend for almost two years now." Joey retorted with a slightly angered tone. He was tired of the question. "Justin and Britney and I have known each other for so many years. She's like a little sister to us. We've known Nikki from Innosense a long time, plus Ryan Gossling and a lot of other people from our days on Mickey Mouse Club." J.C. added in defense of Britney and Joey's relationship.

"And Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys? What's going on there? I know that would crush a lot more hearts than the whole Britney and Justin thing. Justin, being so young, and dating a man, that would kill!" the DJ protested, searching for many answers. Brian twisted his mouth. The DJ sickened him. 'What's wrong with Justin being with me? What's so bad about that?' Brian questioned, peering at the stereo. He becamed angered. "What would be so wrong about Justin seeing a guy? I thought that was acceptable in today's society. There are plenty of people in the business that date people of the same sex and people learn to accept it." Chris came in direct defense of Justin and Brian. He would hate the light to shine on him because he was with Meelah and they were an interracial couple. It wouldn't make sense to him, just as singling Brian and Justin out just because they were two males in love. "That's true and I guess it wouldn't be much of a problem, but the younger kids aren't as open and they don't really understand. Brian and Justin are two popular male celebrities and if they were gay and together, the world would have to take its time to accept it." the DJ responded in a more sincere manner. He still did not win over Brian, but Brian began to listen contently to the interview to see where it would go.

"Justin and Brian are not dating. They see each other often at different events and, of course, they are really great friends, but the dating aspect isn't true." Lance declared truthfully. He had learn how to twist the truth into reality. He could easily say Brian and Justin were not dating because he knew that, truthfully, the two were married. He did not add in the fact that the two might divorce because he did not want to believe it was true. "We all respect each other's privacy and we all accept whoever any of us date. We care for each other like that. So if Justin and Brian date, we'll respect that and we wouldn't act any different towards either of them. We'd hope our fans would react the same way because we love our fans and respect them and hope that they will do the same for us." J.C. added to Lance's previous remark. "Come on people, Brian's a good friend of ours. He and Justin can do what they want and we'll understand. So don't stress whether or not Justin and Brian are dating, are boyfriends or are just friends. Justin will not neglect or forget any of his fans, no matter who he's with." Chris commanded with an assurance in his voice. "The same applies to all of us." Lance agreed, leaving the DJ without a word to say on the subject.

"Okay, okay, enough of Justin because he's not here to talk for himself and I think we're all beginning to feel the same way you guys do about his love life. Let's get some music going, shall we guys? How about a little of the 'Bye Bye Bye Remix' by you guys with the lovely ladies of Innosense?" the DJ suggested, trying to spark up a little more enthusiasm in the studio.

"Yeah, put that one on!" Chris chimed in a cheerful way. The DJ snickered lightly. "Okay, here it is, the song that is briskly rising up the charts and the song that J.C. Chasez of the group remixed. It is our number one request here on Open House Party. It's *NSYNC and Innosense with the remix to 'Bye Bye Bye' here on Open House Party!" the DJ announced, striking up the song. "Go Innosense!" Lance and J.C. screamed into their mics as the beginning music filled the stereo.

Later came again for Brian as he sat in the living room of his Miami home.

He was slouched on the couch, staring at a blank television screen while casually chatting with his friend Nick Carter over the phone. "Man, Rok, I can't believe you didn't listen to the whole interview. They did a little portion about us and I think Joey and Lance were trying to down us because we haven't put out any music in a bit." Nick complained to his friend. Brian rolled his eyes with a silly grin. He could not figure out why his fellow band mates watched for other groups to speak hateful words toward them. He had no spite towards anyone in the music industry. He truly felt there was room for all. "Nick, I really didn't care to listen to an interview with *NSYNC on Open House Party, especially..." Brian stopped himself. He did not want to say what his heart was telling him to say. He decided to hide it from Nick. "Especially since Justin wasn't on there huh?" Nick was good at interpretting Brian's thoughts and words.

Brian sighed. He scratched his brow and peered his eyes at the televison.

"I know how you feel, Brian. I know I probably wouldn't give the interview much of my attention if Josh wasn't on there. But then again, you're the one who's separated from your husband, so I don't know." Nick responded in a perplexed way. Brian raised his brow suspiciously. "Nick, I'll never understand why you forgave him so easily." Brian sighed out without regret. He had no love left for J.C. and could not understand how Nick denied the situation so easily. "Brian, you know how I actually feel and what I think really occured between the two, so let's not go there again." Nick stated with a stern undertone.

Brian chewed his lower lip, aggravated by Nick's attitude. He refused to accept his reply, placing all of the guilt on Justin. "Frack, I think I'm gonna go to bed now. I'm feeling pretty tired from everything I did today." Brian declared in a sheepish voice. He faked a yawn to make his statement more believeable. "Oh, all right Brian. It is getting kind of late and all. Are you going to go to the last show for *NSYNC tomorrow?" Nick questioned Brian. Brian did not have to think of his response to the inquiry. It was automatic. "I don't want to see them right now Nick. I can't. Tell Joey, Chris, and Lance that I'll talk to them sometime soon, but I can't look at your boyfriend and my husband." Brian answered him justly. He picked up a disappointing sigh from the other end of the phone. "Fine." Nick said stubbornly. He was not satisfied. "Give my baby a kiss for me though." Brian added, trying to appease his own heart. A silence kept him stranded. "Okay, Rok, I'll do that. I'll probably come visit you in a few days buddy." Nick replied lightly. Brian grinned. He looked forward to spending some quality time with at least one of his friends. "Okay Nickie, talk to ya later." Brian chimed softly, concluding their lengthy conversation.

It was no more than ten minutes before Brian could hear his phone ringing obnoxiously again. 'Damn it, the only person I want to hear from right now is my son.' Brian thought as he charged from the kitchen towards the phone he left waiting in the living room. He dried his hands with a dishtowel, planning on rinsing off a few dishes before calling to speak with his son. 'Lord, don't let it be Justin trying to see what my decision is. I already told him that right now I just want separation.' Brian grumbled to himself, stumbling in the vacinity of the phone. He lowered his head in spite, peering his eyes around the room as he heard the third ring. He spotted the phone still sitting on one cushion of the couch. His small hands snatched it up, reading the caller ID carefully. It read: 'Nick.' Brian sighed with hesitation. "Damn Nick, I said I'd call you back." Brian complained aloud, clicking on the phone.

"Yeah, Carter, what's up?" Brian sighed into the phone, awaiting a sarcastic response from Nick. "Uhm, I'm not a Carter, well, at least not yet." J.C.'s voice entered the phone, sending Brian's face into a ghost-white complexion. His hand trembled while holding the phone. He could not believe it was his husband's secret lover calling him so late in the evening. "What are you calling me for?" Brian questioned in a bitter voice. His lilting coutry accent had disappeared momentarily to give way to his anger. "Well, uh, we need to talk Brian." J.C. replied with a stutter. Brian pursed his lips. He did not like J.C.'s response. "How did you get my number?" Brian wondered, never acknowledging J.C. A huff ran over J.C.'s lips. "I checked Nick's caller ID to see who he talked to last after he hopped in the shower." J.C. answered him in a small, but irritated, voice. Brian raised his brow. "Isn't that ironic? What's wrong, scared he might cheat on you now?" Brian said in spite. He did not have to view J.C.'s face to know that it was colored red. It was obvious in the strain of J.C.'s voice. "Brian, let's not focus our attention on Nick and me right now. How about we focus our attention on your marriage or what is left of it?" J.C. requested in a half-serious voice. Brian clenched his jaw shut. His animostiy was becoming evident. "What of it?" he asked, his voice settling on a fixed mood.

Brian found a seat on the arm of the sofa, his eyes peering downward while his face stayed twisted in an pissed off fashion. His blue eyes were cold, almost lifeless as he looked at the floor. He wanted to speak with someone else, anyone else besides the man that helped destroy his marriage. "I'm sorry Justin didn't tell you sooner. Hell, I'm sorry Justin didn't tell you the first time we kissed, but there's no changing that at the moment. There can be some changes that occur in all of our lives, but it's got to start with you." J.C. declared in a strong tone. Brian's jaw flexed. His dimples disappeared. "And what do I have to supposedly do?" Brian wondered, his voice stiff. "You have to let Justin go," J.C. answered him without hestiation. Brian loosened his jaw for a minute. He couldn't accept what J.C. was demanding of him. "Not because I want him or anything, but because Justin doesn't need this. He's young, Brian, only nineteen. He can't be held down already, you see what he's done because of it. Justin shouldn't be in a marriage where he feels everything has to be committed to you and Angel. He needs to live life first. He needs to be able to kiss me when I want to be kissed and when I want to kiss him." J.C. stated in an unwavering tone. It surprised Brian. It was an unbelieveable notion by J.C., unexpected. He was asking Brian to leave his husband.

"J.C., Justin said, 'Yes,' to me at the altar, not to you. He didn't promise to spend the rest of his life with you, he promised me. I waited to see if Justin was ready a thousand times and each time he assured me he was.

He's a father now, not just a husband, but a father too. He doesn't have time for this petty thing you two have. He may be young, but he's never said to me he wasn't ready." Brian expounded. He only knew the truth. "He was probably scared." J.C. argued with reserve coming into his voice. "Scared? Maybe you're scared that you'll lose him? Maybe that's why you're always right there, stepping into our marriage to try and see fit to what you think is Justin's needs? But what happens when you marry Nick? Or are you letting my best friend go in hopes that you and Justin get something going on?" Brian inquired with the mind of a lawyer and the tongue of Judge Judy. "Brian, I don't know where me and Nick's relationship's headed right now. Right now, he's... he's just quiet." J.C. answered Brian. Brian shook his head. 'He's in denial.' Brian thought, standing up and stretching quietly. "You cheated on him, what do you expect? For that matter, you cheated on him with the one person he lost me to. Do you really think he's feeling confident about himself right now?" Brian continued to interrogate J.C. He demanded a reason for his and Nick's suffering. "Right now, I don't know and I'm not going to guess. Nick'll tell me when he wants to. What matters now is you letting Justin go free and allowing him to have a life again instead of being shackled to you and Angel twenty-four-seven. He's a kid himself." J.C. declared in a harsh tone. He also desired something.

Brian scratched the top of his head, walking away from the couch. He didn't like J.C.'s words. He could not see his reasonings for demanding Justin's 'freedom.' "Why? If I let him go, are you going to go after him?" Brian petitioned. There was an uncomfrtoable silence after Brian's question. He was being upfront and he knew J.C. wasn't prepared for it. "I can't promise you that I won't." J.C. answered him truthfully. A sigh pressed through Brian's slightly parted lips. He peered at the wall and then closed his eyes. "I can't guarantee I'll want to let him go, J.C. Right now, I'm not sure, I need my time to think," Brian informed him with a shaky voice. J.C. felt Brian's discouragment. "This is a man that I've dedicated so much to and he's done the same for me and you just want me to call it off and forget that I gave my virginity to him, married him, almost gave my life for him, and shared the joys of raising a son with him." Brian added, hoping to appease his broken heart.

J.C. felt the guilt rise in him again. What was he doing? He knew he regretted taking Justin away from his marriage and his son, but he felt a kinship with the man. "Fine." J.C. ultimately agreed, clicking off the phone and leaving Brian with stinging tears in his crystal-blue eyes and choices to be made.

Justin Littrell glanced down at his watch with cautious eyes. It was going on ten-forty-five at night and Angel was still awake with him. He shook his head and glanced back at his giggling son. Laying across the floor, dressed in a dark yellow Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, beige cargo shorts, white ankle-socks and a backwards A&F hat, Justin toyed with his son in hopes of keeping a togetherness between the two. He did not want Angel to notice the difference in the house. He didn't want Angel looking around for his other father when Justin knew Brian would not be returning anytime soon.

Now, Justin anticipated a telephone call from his estranged husband, one that would wish their son goodnight. It was the only reason Justin permitted Angel to stay awake so late. Justin's hopes concerning Brian were slowly fading. 'Why hasn't he called?' Justin wondered as his fingers laced through Angel's silky blonde hair. He burried his eyes into the dial on his watch again, praying to hear a word from Brian. Being separated from him was becoming increasingly hard on both Justin and his family.

The sound of Angel's contagious giggling drew Justin's eyes away from his watch. He grinned unconsciously when glancing at Angel's expression. The way his eyes lit up when his father looked at him warmed Justin's heart. It helped to ease his turning mind with what was occuring in his life at the moment. "Silly boy, Daddy loves you." Justin snickered, leaning in Angel's direction. Justin kissed Angel's forehead, twirling his fingers through Angel's hair. Angel cooed, reaching out to be held by his father.

Another sound stole Angel and Justin from each other. the doorbell rang in a proud chime. Justin sighed with discontent. 'Lord, don't let it be my mother or someone else that wants to question me about my marriage.' Justin prayed mentally, scooting up until he was on his knees. He ducked his head as he gradually stood to his feet. "Stay right there, Bastian." Justin told his son as he stretched. The doorbell run once more, pulling another hateful sigh from Justin's lips. "I've got it Joey and Brit'!" Justin called out, informing the friends that occupied his house. He shoveled his hands into his pockets, stepping lightly toward the door. 'Maybe it's Brian.' Justin became optomistic as he reached for the doorknob. He placed his hand on the door and lifted his eyes. He pulled the door open and glanced into the darkness of the night.

Justin's lips parted some as his eyes scanned the face before him. He could barely see it in the dimness of the night, but he could see the defined cheek bones and pink lips that identified him automatically. Justin stepped forward a little, crossing his arms with an innocent glance. "Hey beautiful." J.C.'s voice sailed smoothly in the crisp night air. Justin smiled lightly, licking his lips. "Hey." he whispered back. He cocked his head to the side, his eyes holding an intense stare with J.C. J.C. never tore his eyes away from Justin's azure orbs. He loved their intensity and beauty.

Justin could not indentify the silence. He and J.C. had unconsciously avoided each other since the incident in the hotel. No phone calls, pages, or messages were exchanged between the two. They had to decide in which direction their lives were heading. Now, as J.C.'s hands rose and gripped Justin's waist, he could feel where J.C.'s mind was headed. "God, I've really missed you." J.C. said softly, lacing a finger on each hand into the waistband of Justin's cargo shorts and tugging him forward. Justin hestitated and then stumbled forward in the direction of his friend and almost lover. He lifted one of his own hands and drew it over J.C.'s jawline. It was soft, yet manly. He sighed lightly, reading J.C.'s facial expressions.

Justin's instincts took control of him once more as he saw J.C. leaning in his direction. Justin, naturally, leaned toward J.C. and permitted J.C. to kiss him. It was his way of speaking his feelings at the second. His fingertips traced J.C.'s face as J.C. parted their lips with his tongue. Justin suckled the tongue, tasting its sweetness again. He moaned softly, pressing his body against J.C.'s as his friend embraced him. 'Is this right?' Justin questioned himself as his hand moved upward and began to toy with J.C.'s hair. J.C.'s lips greedily kissed Justin's as his tongue licked and savored them. Justin liked it. His long tongue responded by thrashing forward and claiming J.C.'s.

J.C. groaned lightly into Justin's mouth, casually grinding his pelvic area against Justin's. The friction was great. Their heads rotated a little, giving J.C. the greater leverage to suckle Justin's bottom lip while his tongue licked his teeth. One of his hands had broken free from Justin's waist and was now holding Justin to the kiss, twisting through his hidden curls. He wanted Justin as his lover. He wanted to kiss Justin daily. He desired to be Brian.

"Daddy." Angel called out to his father. Justin's lips ceased movement immediately. His head pulled back, yanking from J.C.'s grasp as J.C. moaned in disapproval. "What?" J.C. panted out, holding Justin closer as Justin's head moved. Justin glanced over his shoulder to see his son standing by the door, clutching onto it as he watched his father kiss another man. He was kissing someone that was not Angel's father. Justin froze up in J.C.'s arms, losing the will to hold an erection and crave him in a sexual way. His eyes looked into Angel's pools of confusion, his bewilderment scaring Justin.

Justin shrugged away J.C.'s hold on him, only turning his head a little to view his friend. He placed his hand on J.C.'s stomach region, leveraging J.C. back with his hand. J.C. was beginning to get the hint but he resisted. "Justin, wait, please don't..." J.C. was denied an argument. Justin's eyes struck him with silence. His head shook while his hand continued to push J.C. back onto the front steps. "I'm sorry... it's where my heart belongs." Justin whispered, revealing something secretly to J.C.

J.C. licked his lips, the lingering flavor of Justin's sugary lips still there. He kindly removed Justin's head and took his heed. He frowned as Justin stepped back into the house, lifting his son from the floor. J.C.'s lips began to part to plead with Justin again, but the door began to move and soon it shut on J.C. He was not going to be able to make love to Justin that night. He was again being denied his friend's body and his heart.

Justin crept back inside of the house, holding Angel tightly with a warped expression. "Da... Da." Angel said in a wondering voice. Justin sighed lowly, carrying Angel back into the living room. He stopped his small stride to glance at Angel. His face was still locked with confusion. Justin couldn't believe he allowed his son to see him wrapped in another man's arms. 'What, am I crazy? Why the hell am I doing this? It's not right.' Justin told himself. He lifted his finger and tapped it lightly against Angel's nose. He tried to smile for his son. "Baby boy, I promise you you're gonna see Dad again. And don't you worry, I'm not going to let your Dad leave you... he's not gonna leave us Bastian." Justin whispered to his son, well aware that Angel only understood some of what he said. He kissed the bridge of Angel's nose and cuddled to him. "I promise." Justin whispered again as he made his own declaration to his heart.

TO BE CONTINUED...

--- Well, I know it could have been a little more dramatized, but hey, let's keep it real people. Brian and Nick know now and so does everyone else, so what happens now? Well, you can see that Brian and Justin are quite clearly separated... but what next? Bah-bah-bah-bah! And oh yeah, send me the letters of evil about the separation and J.C.'s actions and, well, whatever else because I like e-mail. I remember a time where my mailbox used to have like 20 messages after a story was posted and now I get about five. I like the five better because I feel like I'm responding directly to someone instead of writing back a lot of people with pretty much the same message. Now I really feel like I know a lot of my readers. My college Eng;ish teacher told me I was too wordy with my writing. Why didn't ya'll say so?! I'm going to try and fix that. Oh yeah, I've been reading some really great works on Nifty by people like Rick, DCKevin, Nsyncgrrl, and some good sex stories too. Ever wonder what happened to the sex stories? Or just the ones that aren't always Soap Operish and the have sex in it because people realize that sex is apart of a relationship when you're with someone you like or love? It's 200 people, get with it. And could someone PLEASE tell me why in SO MANY of the stories by authors on Nifty, all people have to do is reach over to a table and pull out condom and lube and they're ready? Does EVERYONE have a table by their bed and they just stash lube and a condom in there because they think they're going to get laid?! I don't understand that. Someone please stop that cliché! It's so damn annoying. Be original about it. Have safe sex, but don't always have the damn table! Okay, that's enough from me. I'll try to have the next one out in two weeks people. Enjoy this for now and stay happy... ---