Symptoms of a Heartbreak Chapter II (Angel's Wings Part 12) Written by JM
Once you've believed in a love, forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer?
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that's holding on
How do I start to live my life alone?
Guess I'm just learning
Learning the art of letting go
- Mikalia, "The Art of Letting Go"
--- If you're under 18, don't read this and don't fall in love. If you do not like fan fiction related to same sex relationships or opposite sex relationships, don't read this and don't attempt to find love. If you don't like the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Innosense or anyone with a connection to them, don't read this and please don't tell me you know what good music is. If you're afraid of seeing any couple breakup, don't read this and get your friend a tissue if they decide to read this. If you don't like JM and think he's an egotistical bastard, please read this and keep on hating! ---
--- Feature Presentation: This movie is rated R for adult situations, adult language, varied scenes that contain sexual intecourse, mild violence, nudity, and adult subject matter. This is a drama, simple as that. It'll make some of you cry. It'll make some of you laugh. It'll make some of you hate me and some of you will love me. It might make some of you horny, while others, you might be too mad to get turned on. Whatever it does, remember that it is fiction! ---
How many different ways could he say again? 'Once more? For a second time? Yet again? No, no, that's using again.' he thought, distracted by his thoughts of where he was. It didn't matter how he said it. He was there, again. He was where he didn't want to be, again. This time, however, he wasn't alone, and yet and still, again he didn't feel comfortable.
He raised a hand to run his long fingers through his coiled curls and only felt prickly softness at the top of his head. 'Damn it, how many times am I going to forget? It's only been a couple of hours.' he told himself, reminded that he had chopped off all of his brown curls that morning and replaced them with a dirty blonde buzz cut. He nibbled on his lower lip, shrugging. He didn't need those curls. They were just apart of an image that Justin didn't feel like being apart of right now. He wasn't going to be doing many public appearances, so his fans didn't have to pressure him to grow it out again. Right now, he knew he and his comrades were focused on finishing up their next album and preparing for a tour in the summer. So it was just a haircut, something he did. Something he had to admit that he enjoyed.
In that cold hospital, Justin Littrell felt minute shivers quake through him. His shifty blue eyes looked all around, his insecurity about the area leaving him with a want to accomplish another of the tasks they had sought to complete. He gave his husband's hand a small squeeze, hoping his husband could rush his conversation with one of the nurses so that they could move on. But to where? They were still awaiting another person to arrive to assist them with this last task. Justin didn't care. After visiting with his friend, Sebastian, and observing the poor condition he seemed to be in, Justin was looking forward to making his Valentine's Day a little more happier; eventful.
"Brian?" Justin whispered out, edging nearer to his husband until their hips touched. He felt his husband's silky-soft hands run over his hair, brushing back the subtle spikes. "I don't know where the guy is about the adoptions Justin." Brian responded to Justin's unasked question. He ran his thumb over the back of Justin's hand, hoping to settle Justin's nerves. "One of the nurses says it's highly unlikely we'll find a child at this hospital that is going to be put up for adoption, but we might want to try other hospitals and other states." Brian added with his sweetly thick country accent. Just the sound of Brian's lilting tone caused Justin to ease into a smoother state. Valentine's Day wasn't exactly Valentine's Day unless it was with Brian.
Justin didn't mind this part, however. Why would he ever mind being next to Brian or discussing his opportunity to riase another child? He would never. Even though he consider the straining circumstances that came along with being a father to another child, Justin was willing to fight. So what if he was twenty. So what if he was a cherished celebrity. So what if he was married to Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. Justin was Justin and Brian was Brian. Simply, they were two young lovers enjoying their life with strong careers and a decent relationship with a beautiful son. 'So why not have a little brother or sister for Angel?' Justin mused, crinkling his brow. That fuzzy warm feeling latched onto his heart and he knew he deserved it. He and Brian both deserved it.
"So you're looking to adopt a baby are ya?" the sound of a familiar eldery voice buzzed through the hall. Justin arched an eyebrow, turning his head slightly to view the approaching nurse. His eyes widened, a small drop of disbelief running through them. "Marge?" Justin said curiously as she took a before more steps closer to Brian and Justin. "Marge Abbigale Angel. Last time I checked, anyway." she chimed, the older nurse slipping behind the work station to gather a chart from the filing cabinet.
Justin observed her with fickle glances, dumbfounded by greeting the nurse again. It had been too many months since he had seen the cheery woman and, at this minute, Justin was thrilled with a fixture of relief in his life.
"How did you know we were adopting?" Justin asked, leaning on the counter to watch her. "You'll be surprised what I know around here on the maternity floor." Marge noted, flipping through the chart. "Plus, I think people are starting to recognize you two despite your nice new 'do." she added, grinning toward the couple. Justin shyly ran a hand over the top of his head, the prickly locks of hair scratching against his palm. "And Justin, I'm rather disappointed that you kept this cutie here a secret. And your son too. I didn't like hearing about it on the ten o'clock news." Marge fussed mildly, leaning behind the counter to peer into his eyes. Justin quickly ducked his head, giggling softly, like a child.
"What can I say Marge? I met you before me and Brian told the world about our relationship. I had to be careful." Justin remarked, lifting his head with slight guardedness. Marge exhaled melodiously, placing the chart on the counter in front of Justin and Brian. She glanced around quickly, searching for nearby co-workers. When she felt safe, she leaned forward. "Well then, let me be careful about telling you two this. We have an infant, just born a few days ago, here and I know she'll be put up for adoption soon because her mother died during labor and the mother was a Jane Doe. So we have no way of contacting any other kin to insure guardianship for the child." Marge stated, her voice lowered to an almost dull whisper. Brian and Justin leaned in her direction, fairly intrigued by her words. "Now a nurse tells me that you're good friends with Mr. Bryce Winters and I know he has a lot of pull here when it comes to adoptions just because of his generosity towards our adoption program and the the orphans we get here.
Plus, you've got a bonus this time because I've been assigned to working with the adoption program now, insuring infants and toddlers find a decent home." Marge disclosed happily, winking at the two. Smiles could not be stopped from flickering on Brian and Justin's faces. This was their piece of sunshine, their ray of light.
Marge flipped open the chart, permitting Brian and Justin to overview the information concerning the infant. "However, there are several problems arising concerning this child that might prevent you two from adopting right away." Marge added as the coiple glanced over the extensive reports concerning the infant. "Like what?" Brian questioned, raising his head to give his attention to the elder nurse. "The infant was born almost three months prematurely. She's a tiny little thing, but she's surviving. She hasn't had too many complications and the doctors expect her to be a healthy baby once she gets passed this stage." Marge replied, leaning back, her brow furrowing. Justin's eyes immediately lifted, disturbed by the information. The information alone made his heart ache. "And since her mother died during birth, the hospital will probably want to try and find some sort of kin for the baby. I know, from what I could tell about the mother, this child has no family to go to. No one who would want to come and take her. Still, the hospital likes to look into these things." Marge stated, sighing lowly.
Brian leaned back, his faith fading. He scratched his barely-there goatee, glancing toward his husband. He could see the contemplations in Justin's facial expression, but he knew Justin too well. He wasn't giving this up. He laid a hand on the back of Justin's neck, rubbing the skin with little motivation. "How long do you think it would take then?" Justin asked, tapping his fingers along the chart. Marge glanced down at her watch and then a nearby calender. "Two months." Marge said flatly.
Justin groaned softly, his patience worn. Could he wait that long? Was this child worth his time? The fingers on the back of his neck drifted lower, massaging his muscles. He needed that and he needed to think.
"Listen, the child needs time to get strong and the hospital needs a little time to confirm this child is eligible for adoption. But I don't want just any couple getting this baby. She's a beautiful little girl and she's special. You can tell she's going to be a smart, caring, strong little girl if she has the right parents and to me, you two are the right parents." Marge said, her voice encompased with compassion and care.
Justin stood erect, shaking his head with strain. He blinked his eyes and rubbed his temples with his thumb and forefinger. "Marge, we appreciate this, but I think me and Justin will need to think about it first. It's a lot of responsibility taking care of a premature infant, especially one still this young." Brian said, holding Justin's hand tightly as Justin attempted to move away. Marge nodded, lowering her head. She slowly pulled the chart up from the counter, closing the file and tucking it under her arm. Her disappointment was evident. "Can we at least see her first?" Justin asked, dropping his hand to his side. His round blue eyes stared at Marge, looking for a sign of hope. "Sure. Sure, you can." Marge replied brightly, her smile painted back on her lips. She scurried from behind the counter with her unbridled joyfulness.
"Justin..." Brian whined softly, tugging on Justin's hand. Justin turned to Brian, a brighter glimmer on his face. Those perfect sky blue eyes were filled with perplexity, but Justin didn't care. He leaned forward and laid a gentle kiss on his husband's thin pink lips. He rubbed his hand along Brian's cheek, praying Brian would waver. "Rocky, I want to go see her... I want to see our daughter." Justin whispered, his thumb running against the corner of Brian's mouth. Brian sighed, batting his eyes. He shrugged, a tepid smile gracing his lips. "She better not have puppy-dog eyes like you." Brian teased. Justin grinned proudly. He pressed another kiss on Brian's lips before leading Brian towards Marge, following the older nurse toward another portion of their future, together.
The mall on Valetine's Day. It wasn't that bad. It was early enough, so only a few unsart shoppers crowded the Hallmark and special occasion stores.
Victoria Secrets was a friendly companion for overly hormonal older men and the candy store was filled with next-to-broke individuals looking for a cheap way out of an expensive material gift. Overall, it was like any other Valentine's Day in the city.
Mandy had no compliants. She tossed her pliant blonde hair behind her shoulder and sighed. Maybe she had one complaint. A constant sobbing fizzled into her ear via her cell phone, leaving her a little restless and undoubtedly frustrated. Her picture perfect green eyes glanced to her right as Bryce Winters walked next to her, a casual smile on his face as he glanced into several of the shops. He didn't seem phased by the almost hour-long conversation Mandy suffered through with her weeping friend and she trusted that Bryce didn't mind.
She swung a bag from Abercrombie & Fitch with little care, letting it breeze in time with her blasé walk. It was her single prize from shopping that morning. She was irresolute about everything she saw in the stores. She couldn't decide on anything to buy for herself and shopping for her boyfriend, Bryan, was even harder. On top of that, she was assisting Bryce in finding a few presents for Lance and that was a task in itself. She felt unaccomplished and a little exhausted.
"Jenny, I know you're hurting girl. Trace is an asshole for breaking up with you the night before Valentine's Day, but you have to stop crying and get a hold of yourself. Trust me, it's not the end of the world. He'll probably come crying back in a few weeks." Mandy sighed out, shooting Bryce an annoyed expression as they strolled. Bryce giggled quietly, nudging her.
Mandy stuck out her tongue, ignoring Jenny's unvarying whimpers of lament to have fun with her friend. She sighed, rolling her eyes when hearing a plea from Jenny. "All right, here's the deal, I'll try and stop by after me and Bryce finish up here at the mall, but I can't stay long. Me and Bryan have an intimate evening planned out." Mandy compromised, turning her eyes to watch a small child and his parents approaching. Another sigh grabbed her lips and she nudged Bryan, drawing his attention to the advancing group.
Bryce giggled again, a little louder before laying a hand on Mandy's hip, slowing her pace. "Jen, girl, I've gotta go. I promise I'll try and stop by. Hang in htere." Mandy said briskly, hoping to appease her friend. She lowered her phone and clicked it off, dropping it into her bag before smiling at the adolescent standing before her.
Mandy cleared her throat and knelt down near the girl. She smiled and winked, sending a small blsuh to the little boy's cheek. "Hi there cutie." Mandy gleamed with her healthy Southern accent. The boy was helpless with a smile. "Are you Mandy from Innosense?" the boy asked, his voice sitffened with nervousness. Mandy giggled quietly before nodding. "Would you sign this CD?" he requested, lifting a 'So Together' CD single with shaky hands. Mandy licked her glossy pink lips, carefully taking the CD from the small boy's nimble fingers. "Sure thing cutie. What name should I put on here?" Mandy asked, pulling a marker from her purse. Wasn't that fitting? Lynn Hrless, Justin's mother and Innosense's former manager, had given each girl a marker on tour, promising them that one day they'd need it to sign a million autographs. Now, Mandy was using the pen to scirbble her name on the CD and she could feel that familiar sadness bubbling through her, thinking of New Year's Eve and the dismissal of Lynn Harless from her musical career and practically from her life.
Mandy forced herself to stand, handing the CD to the young boy with her ginger grin leaving him silenced. He began to stutter out something, maybe something kind, something about her appearance, but it never made full flight and Mandy could only wink at him with her half-flirtatious yellowy-green eyes.
"We think you and your group are great. O-Town just loves you." the mother spoke out, making her presence known as she and her husband stood proudly behind their son. Mandy glanced up with burdened eyes. She licked out a smile, shyly hiding her arms behind her back. "Well, thank you. We love Orlando a lot." Mandy said, clearing her throat softly. 'God, she's one of the compliment types... please don't let her say anything about...' Mandy's thoughts were temporarily interrupted. "And it's so wonderful that you all work so closely with that *NSYNC boy's mother." the mother added chipperly, her voice reminiscent of Joan Cleaver. 'Shit, you just hda to go there.' Mandy grumbled, a small grimace resting on her face. "We think it's great too." Mandy smiled hopelessly. There was no way she was convincing herself that what she spoke was true because it wasn't. She didn't work within a hundred feet of Lynn Harless anymore and to her, it sucked.
"Oh, Ms. Ashford, we had better get going. You have a three o'clock signing to show up at and then a meeting with the people at NBC about guest starring at the next episode of Will & Grace." Bryce spoke up in a proper tone, stepping forward until he was to the left of Mandy. Mandy jumped a little before nervously smiling. "Oh, right." Mandy replied cautiously. Bryce grinned at the family, tugging on Mandy's arm. "They're considering Ms. Ashford for the part of Grace's sister who tries to seduce Will until she realizes he's a full blown homosexual. Fascinating, isn't it?" Bryce chimed, his tone mimicking a suagred-up Hollywood agent. The family could do nothing but nod as Bryce pulled Mandy away. "It was nice meeting ya'll." Mandy stumbled out, waving as she and Bryce moved in a new direction.
A rolling sigh of relief split into the air as Mandy pushed back her hair and puckered her lips. "You're a lifesaver Bryce." Mandy hummed. Bryce shrugged with a unique grin. "Some have called me rather fruity, so I guess I'll take that as a compliment." Bryce teased, elbowing Mandy's side. Mandy snickered helplessly. "And I'm sorry I haven't been giving you enough attention on this shopping trip. Everyone is just dying to keep me away from talking to you." Mandy added, skirting an arm around Bryce's waist. She laid her head on his shoulder as they walked, passing a few shops that scarcely caught Bryce's attention. "It's all right Mandy. I rather like watching you go crazy because everyone's nagging you." Bryce beamed, slipping his arm around her shoulder, his thumb running over the bare skin of it.
Mandy cleared her throat again, spying a jewelry store that they had not visited. She chewed on her bottom lip considering their options as Bryce slowed his walk. "So tell me Bryce, what's this thing you wanted to talk about? I know it concerns Lance and from what you've hinted at, I'm also guessing it concerns his past." Mandy prompted, her fingers brushing over the fabric of his shirt. Bryce nodded immediately, his mind focusing on his thoughts instead of the path they walked. "I know you're his best friend and that's why I was a little reserved about coming to you, but since we're friends, I knew you had no reason to lie to me." Bryce said, blinking his eyes as the words Lance said to him invaded his focus. He felt that sudden sharpness strike his heart and he grimaced a little. Why did Lance have to be so honest the night before? Bryce didn't really want to know, but now, he was curious. He was also frustrated.
"Is it about Nick or JC?" Mandy wondered, pulling away from Bryce a little. "No, not them. Lance's relationship with JC is pretty much self-explainitory and his times with Nick... well, I don't know what that was, but I know Lance is glad that it's over and very happy being Nick's friend when needed." Bryce replied with a little more confidence. "Than who?" Mandy asked, rubbing Bryce's back to raise his buoyancy. She could see the agony burned into his face like lazy strokes of charcoal against a painted canvas of colors. It just wasn't right. It wasn't natural. "Matt Thompson." Bryce finally spoke, turning his eyes in her direction.
Those shaded features were now clear against his chiseled face. Nothing was left to the imagination except the shock that burried Mandy's thoughts in her eyes. Mandy bit down on her lower lip and turned her eyes from Bryce. His name was the last name Mandy expected to hear. How much did she really know about him? Maybe that's why Mandy was glad Lance ended that short-term relationship. Maybe she would've felt better knowing him, seeing him, and watching him interact with her best friend? It would've helped, but then again, Mandy knew of Lance's relationship with Bryce. She knew how Lance had felt deep down for Bryce and she remembered those weakened tears falling each time Lance came to see her after Bryce left.
"Mandy, I need to know what was there between them. Did they have sex? Were they a couple? Did Lance even care about me while he was with Matt?" Bryce asked, halting their walk to question her. He wrapped shaky hands around her arm, squeezing it gently, hoping for an immediate response. All he received was a look, a look that did nothing but paint a picture of disappointment.
Mandy slipped stray strands of hair behind her ear, clearing her throat again while crossing her arms. "You know, Bryce, me and Lance make it a habit never to discuss sex with each other. We might tell each other that we had sex with someone, but we never define what that means. It's just a pact me and Lance have because... we're like brother and sister." Mandy affirmed in a hollow voice. Bryce gave her arm another squeeze, doubting eyes drooping. Mandy glanced up with discouragment. She didn't want to hurt Bryce, but she knew either way she would. "But he did tell me that they fooled around a couple of times. Lance slept in his bed, they did some stuff, but I don't think it was full-fledged intercourse." Mandy added quietly. She watched Bryce's head drop and she knew the situation was far from being a gossamer one.
Bryce released Mandy's arm and shucked a hand into his pocket. He lifted his head, obvious tears withheld from release. "Were he and Matt boyfriends? Were he and I even a couple?" Bryce inquired, sniffling solemnly. Mandy sighed, looking away from Bryce. Those hanging tears were too much for her. "He wasn't technically with either of you. He told me that he thought he and Matt had something, but he was never too sure and that's why he gave up." Mandy explained. She turned to look at Bryce and watched those doughy eyes stare at her without release. She reached out and laid a caring hand on his shoulder, hoping to soothe him. She had to say something. "With you... he loved being with you, he just wasn't ready to be in love with you. He fought for so many months not to have sex with you because he knew the minute he took your virginity he would owe you something more than just fooling around here and there. He'd have to quit lamenting over JC and Nick and be true to you and he wasn't sure if that's what he should've done." Mandy confessed.
Bryce coughed lowly, using soft hands to wipe away the subtle fiery tears.
"You know, I loved Lance back then, I loved him when I first came back to Orlando, and I love him now. I knew for awhile that I was his way to get over what JC and Nick had done to him, but to know that I wasn't hisonly way out... that just maybe my love wasn't enough for him, he had to go somewhere to find a better escape, that's the part that hurts. It hurts to know I'm not the first or second or even third guy to hold this guy's heart. I'm the fourth man to show Lance the better side of living and that shit sucks." Bryce admitted, batting away gloomy tears. Mandy continued to rub his shoulder, disappointed in Bryce's words. Bryce shrugged, laughing loosely. "I guess that's just the role I have to play." Bryce chimed. He sniffled while holding his head up, unashamed of his love for that one man.
"If it helps, you're the only one he's ever really thought about sitting down and having kids with. Hell, you're the only one he's ever really discussed it with." Mandy said, a strawberry-sweet smile coating her glossy lips. Bryce turned to her with disbelief. "He told you about that?" Bryce asked, more than a little stunned. Mandy snickered, hooking her arm with Bryce's. "I told you the one thing we don't discuss is sex. Everything else is fair game." Mandy cheered, pulling Bryce in the direction of the jewelry store.
Bryce willingly followed her lead, pushing the thoughts of Lance and his relationships aside. He had a reason to smile on St. Valentine's Day. Maybe it wasn't that bad after all?
The living room was bombarded with toys for children and for dogs. It could've been an added scene in 'Toy Soldiers' minus the army men and weird looking action figures, but it was far from that. Instead, it was a home of pleasure for Amaiya McLean, along with her puppy Jack Daniels, and her parent's dog, Vegas. It was a playground inside of a large home, something most kids never got. But Amaiya McLean was special. Her father was a Backstreet Boy and her mother had her own sprites of fame, nothing Amaiya's father approved of though. All in all, Amaiya had nothing to complain about. As long as she was free to move around in the living room with the dogs, moving from toy-to-toy, she was satiated.
"There's my Koala Bear." AJ grinned with his usually low, rapsy voice. AJ stumbled and hopped over a few toys to capture his prize, his year-old daughter. He lifted her briskly into the air, holding her above his head with his Cheshire grin ruling his face. Amaiya giggled weakily at her father, reaching out to him with tiny hands. "Your Pop has to go out for a few hours, but he'll be back soon to play with you." AJ said, lowering his daughter until their eyes were aligned. Amaiya smiled and toyed with her father's facial hair, barely understanding his words.
"Leaving?" Amanda wondered, strolling into the room with folded arms over her white baby-tee. AJ turned his head in her direction, his brow wrinkling and his lips folding into a thin line of hesitation. He lowered Amaiya, placing her on the ivory white couch. "Yeah, Kevin and Nick want to get out for a few hours. Do a little shopping, grab something to eat." AJ replied, scratching his neck. A rusty cough thickened the air as AJ moved away from Amaiya, heading toward the kitchen. "It's Valentine's Day and you wanna hang with the boys?" Amanda questioned, following AJ into the kitchen, a scowl crowning her face. "Just for a few hours darling." AJ crooned back, pulling a carton of juice from the large refrigerator.
Amanda stopped at the counter, leaning on it with focused blue eyes. AJ unscrewed the top of the juice, lifting it to his mouth. He read the words written into her face as he gulped down the remains of the juice. He watched the way she shook her head, the way her eyes squinted while scrutinizing him. There was more than disapproval in his wife's face; there was disappointment.
AJ sighed longly, lowering the carton. "You know, we slept in together this morning. Plus I played your favorite song for you while you were in the shower." AJ reminded her, crushing the carton between his hands. He tossed it in the direction of the wastebasket, a perfect shot that sent the carton into the darkness of the trash. "Correction, I had to get up and get Amaiya dressed, give her a bottle, and change her diaper. You got to sleep in and I got to do my regular motherly duties." Amanda retorted, pressing her palms onto the cool counter. AJ immediately rolled his eyes, pressing his hands down next to Amanda's. He leaned toward her, his sunglasses slipping down his nose to reveal his large brown eyes. "And I have to do the same damn thing when you go to the studio early in the morning to work on that album of yours." AJ chidded lowly.
Amanda pulled back, disgusted with his tone. She strutted into the kitchen, her hand gliding over the cool counter, nails scratching over the marble surface. "So is this going to be your routine every time you want to win an argument? Throw in the part about me recording an album, me recording a dream, me doing the same shit you when you're with the Backstreet Boys to make me feel guilty?" Amanda wondered, her voice solid with spite. AJ grumbled, leaning off the counter to watch her. He spun on his heels, peering at her as she crossed to the other counter. "That's the best bullshit I've heard from you in awhile. You should write a song about how you always want me to pity you because you have to be a mother and a wife. I mean damn, don't try to put me down when you're the one who gave up your career with Innosense to be Mrs. McLean, the devoted wife and mother." AJ snapped back.
"Oh, fuck you Alex." Amanda hollered back, the vulgar words unexpectedly falling from her lips. Did she just say that? She couldn't have meant it. Not toward Alexander James McLean, the man she had given her heart and soul to. Not the father of her child.
"No, fuck you Amanda Latona. I've put my heart into this relationship, been upfront with every last motherfucker on this damn planet about how I feel for you and how dedicated I am to you and Amaiya and you get one record contract and all of the sudden you can't even give me and Amaiya the time of day." AJ hollered back, his hand slamming into the counter for emphasis. Amanda felt herself jump when hearing his tone, his words. This wasn't love that he was showing. It was pure anger, pure disgust and she couldn't figure out why. What the hell had Amanda done to warrant this kind of behavior from her husband? "You're the one who's not staying home for Valentine's Day." Amanda replied, her voice lowered, but still malicious. "That's right." AJ hissed, scooping up his keys from the counter.
There wasn't enough time for him to regret his words or even take them back because at that moment, AJ feel like it. He didn't feel like being the apologetic husband when he knew how he felt. "You know, I don't really think this is working out Alex. I'm tired of this arguing every day. I'm tired of having Amaiya see us act like this." Amanda said, her voice quaking with mysterious tears. AJ sighed, clutching his keys tightly. He was not going to be that man. "Maybe we should separate for awhile." Amanda added, hopes and wishes of a response that refused to agree with her terms. Just a hint, that's all she wanted. "Whatever you think is best, Amanda." AJ replied, his voice deviod of concern. He walked out of the kitchen, straight for the door and didn't bother to stop, not even when Amaiya stood by the couch and watched him with worrisome eyes. He just kept walking.
The scent of rain bathed the air and rolling dark clouds covered the sky like a blanket. Despite the warnings of an approaching storm, one filled with heavy, relentless rain drops and rumbling sounds of thunder, he still had a place to be, he still had words to say. He didn't care what holiday it was, he was going to make this effort. But he was still scared. Stepping out of his SUV, he still felt his hands tremble and he still felt his heart race. 'Damn it, I'm going to do this today. I haven't before and I don't know if I'll ever again, but today, I'm going to do this.' he told himself, taking a quick glance to the golden ring that rested around his finger. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He lifted his hand and laid a small kiss on the ring, fear striking him with the sound of thunder. "You'll have to understand Nick." he said aloud, lowering his hand without the sweet serenity he usually carried.
Walking down the walkway, his pearly blue eyes spied the man that he hoped not to see. 'Why couldn't he have gone out with Kevin, Nick, and AJ? Why did he have to be the one to stay behind?' he brooded, slipping his hands into his back pockets. He watched the way the man gathered toddler's toys from the lawn, with care and without rush. He wasn't scared, that was obvious. He had a reason to be happy too. 'And he should be thanking me.' he told himself, squinting his eyes toward the man. He shook his head distastefully, walking directly for the stairs that led to the front door. He had no time to concentrate on that other man.
"Do you always ignore homeowners when you walked onto their property?" Brian asked, his rolling country accent shaking the man. He listened to the way Brian cleared his throat and suddenly, he was backstracking, descending from the small steps to eye Brian. Brian continued to gather up the toys in the front yard, giving him quick glances here and there. "I'm here to see Justin." came the reply. "That's pretty obvious JC, but you're still walking on my property and you're trying to walk into my house without even acknowledging me." Brian declared. He crossed his arms over his chest, an unrelenting glimmer in his eyes leaving JC still.
JC took one glance at the door and then another. "You know, it's Justin's house too. He does live here." JC stated, his boldness rising. Brian arched an eyebrow, his jaw twitching. His usually blossoming blue eyes were steely hard, focused on anger. "It's our house, JC. Me and my husband. Therefore, I'm own one-half of this property." Brian stated. JC raised his brow before rolling his eyes. He slid his hands out of his pockets and placed a foot on a higher step, beginning his ascent again. "I'd prefer talk to the other-half right now and forget that you're even here." JC professed, taking another step upward.
"Why are you here? Why today JC?" Brian asked, taking a subtle step toward JC. His arms were still folded, his muscles flexing in anger. He didn't like seeing JC at his house, not for any reason. He didn't want his Valentine's Day ruined, not when he had woke up with Justin and Angel in his arms, not when he and Justin had spent most of the morning making out, from the shower, to the living room, to the dining room, and even at the hospital. He didn't want to deal with JC's need to talk to Justin on this day.
JC sighed loudly, turning his face in Brian's directon once more. He drug his fingers through his fluffy brown hair, licking his thick pink lips. "What does it matter to you? I'm here to see your husband, not you. You know, I bet Justin doesn't question your friends when they come to see you." JC replied with an aggravated hiss. "You're not Justin's friend." Brian asserted, taking another step closer to JC. "Oh, really?" JC replied, crossing his own arms. "You want to be more than his friend. You want to be me. You want to receive that kind of love from Justin." Brian affirmed, his voice barely reaching over the sound of the thunder crackling above.
The thunderous music from above rumbled with the sound of JC's conceited laughter. "Get real, Brian. I've been in Justin's life a lot longer than you have. I'm his friend whether you like it or not." JC insisted, unfolding his arms. He turned for the door again and took another step. Brian was there with him, finally reaching the bottom step. "A friend wouldn't try to seduce him." Brian called out, the thunder roaring again and faint drops of rain finally began making their descent on Orlando. "And a good husband wouldn't act like a jealous asshole everytime Justin talks to his friends." JC boasted, still moving up the steps.
A firm hand wrapped around JC's left arm and squeezed tightly, jerking him back. JC maintainted his balance as the hand gripped at his arm, fingernails faintly digging into his skin. JC rotated his head and glanced over his shoulder. He peered at the furious expression painted into Brian's taut face. Those loveable eyes were dark circles of fury and JC had to swallow hard to shade his fear. "Get your fucking hand off of me." JC pressed out, his fear almost peaking through his speech. Brian remained still, motionless. He didn't let go and their stares turned deadly.
She couldn't hear the arguing over the sounds of the thunder and the song she hummed so sweetly. She didn't even focus her eyes on the stairway to the house where they stood yelling at each other. She closed her car door and strolled behind the car, tying her dirty blonde hair up into a tight bow. She felt the trickles of hair splash on her shoulder and she immediately looked up. She scrunched up her face when the water splattered on her face. 'Oh shit, this is just perfect.' she thought, lowering her face. She sighed restlessly and continued to walk to the otherside of the car. 'I could've been in Kentucky right now, but did I go? No. Brian and Justin offered me this day off and did I take it? No. I chose not to be in Lexington with my boyfriend because...' she let her mind wander as she pulled open the door. She leaned down and a faded smile captured her lips. "Because of you Baby Angel." she finally grinned, reaching out and lifting the toddler from the seat. She arose with Angel Littrell firmly secure in her arms. "Lea... Lea..." Angel fussed, struggling to escape her grasp. Lea, Angel's nanny, laughed lowly, lowering the child to the ground. "Okay, I'll let you walk, but we'll leave Dad's birthday presents in the car until after this awful storm goes away." Lea said, grabbing a hold of Angel's hand and closing the car door.
"Dad?" Angel wondered as Lea began to walk Angel up the driveway towards the walkway. "Yeah, Dad's presents are in the car." Lea agreed, trying to rush Angel to avoid the rain. "Dad." Angel said once more, pointing toward the stairs. Lea glanced up, her eyelashes batting away raindrops. She stopped instantly when seeing Brian arguing heatedly with JC. She watched their stiff movements and listened to the fury in their voices, the way it rang loud like the thunder above. What was going on? The storm? The fight? This wasn't Valentine's Day. This was a disaster. "Come on Angel, let's go in this way." Lea insisted, pulling Angel toward the garage door. Angel glared at her curiously. She was pulling him away from his the father, the man he wanted to see, the man he wanted to hold him. "Come on baby boy, let's go." Lea insisted. Angel complied to her wishes, but his want to be with his father was still there.
"I told you to take your fucking hand off of me." JC hissed, snatching his arm from Brian's grasp before violently pushing Brian back. Brian slipped slightly, the trickling rain dampening everything. He kept his balance as he struggled to get closer to JC on the steps. "Your problem with all of this is that I'm the one person that can take everything away from you. I'm the guy that took your best friend away from you... I married your best friend." JC boasted, turning slightly toward Brian. Brian was but one step below him, eyeing him with relentless anger. "I'm the one person that took your husband's mind off of you. He thought of another man. Me. And you hate it. You hate that I can be something special in Nick and Justin's life." JC added, a smug expression perched on his face. The rain slipped down Brian's face, cooling him. The fire that raced inside caused him to ball his hands together. "And you hate that I'm the one person that your husband almost let fuck him." JC hissed, squinting at Brian with a glimmer of victory racing through his icy blue eyes.
The thunder clapped loudly and with all of his force behind it, Brian's fist smacked into JC's jaw, causing the younger man to fall back and laid on the stairs. The pain shot through Brian's fist, but the power was now his. He hissed lowly, cussing under his breath as he shook his hand, trying to dream away some of the pain. He looked down at the fallen man grabbing his jaw with tightly shut eyes, his groans rumble like the thunder above. Brian sniffled in the rain, wipe away a few of the large drops from his face. He was soaked, but he didn't care. While those cold drops of rain kissed his cheeks, he just started at JC. He shook his head at him, disappointed in JC's actions.
"I hate that you tried to seduce my husband. And I hate that you tried to steal Angel's father from him." Brian hissed, stepping over JC. JC grumbled, still holding his cheek as he tried to stand on the stairs. "I hate that Nick can't see what an asshole you are." Brian stated, watching the man stand up. "I hate knowing that Justin loves me so much and I can't tell him that I hate his best friend because I don't want Justin to have to chose between us. And I hate that me and Justin can't just be happy because you think you have a chance of fucking with his mind and his heart like you've done with everyone else." Brian chidded softly.
His eyes did not waver when JC stood erect again, his jaw already beginning to swell. He watched as JC balled his fist and he knew what was coming. He was prepared for retaliation. He was not prepared for the voice that called out to stop him.
"Don't you do it. Don't hit me." Justin hollered, emerging from behind the door, stepping into the rain and quickly maneuvering himself between JC and Brian. He placed a hand on JC's chest, holding him back, preventing him from reaching his husband. He wasn't going to let it happen. He was through trying to compromise and make things seem right. He had to make things right.
JC took several glances at Justin, the water pour like a symphony over Justin's new buzz cut, coating his face, dripping off his nose, those perfect red lips, and down his chin were the sprinkles of hair grew. He wanted to holler at Justin, force him out of the way so he could seek revenge, but those perfectly soft tears escaping Justin's dark blue eyes left him motionless. He couldn't do it. All he could hear was the rain falling, the thunder rustling in the sky, and a familiar song playing in his mind, reminding him of the tears that slipped from Justin's eyes.
Promise me that if you leave
You won't be coming back again
It hurts to see your face when you look at me that way
Don't try to take me in your arms
Cause I don't think that I could find the strength
To let you go, and leave me here alone
I need to break the ties that keep on breaking my heart
Not gonna hang on to the strings you tore apart
Justin sniffled quietly, staring at his friend through his blossoming tears. "He's tired of this Joshua and so am I. I... I can't putting Brian to the side for a friendship that might not even exist." Justin said, his voice coated with agony. JC's bottom lip trembled, begging to offer a response, a correction to Justin's statement. His body just couldn't do it.
He couldn't say anything.
"This friendship can't exist if you still think we have a chance or if you think there was something between me and you. I'm in love with Brian. There's no questioning that now and I don't even know why I questioned it then. It's obvious to me that you'd never replace me and he doesn't have to hate you because you could take my mind off of you. He should hate me for that." Justin boasted, tears splicing his flushed cheeks. JC felt his hand rising to reach out and wipe away those tears, but he saw Justin flinch and that stopped him. He watched Brian wrap a secure arm around Justin's waist, holding him, loving him the way JC wasn't sure if he could. "You're... you're looking for something and you won't find it here with me." Justin declared forthrightly.
Not one word wasn't true. JC knew it. He lowered his head knowing that Justin spoke a truth he couldn't escape. Maybe it was Valentine's Day, the day everyone felt a desire to profess their love for someone, but JC wasn't sure if that was why he was there. He didn't know his purpose for being on the steps to Brian and Justin's house anymore.
So make it easy for me, if you ever loved me
The hardest thing I'll ever do is say goodbye
Still loving you
So make it easy for me, if you ever loved me
Turn around and walk away
We've run out of words to say
"But I..." JC couldn't finish. Justin laid fingers on his lips, those fingertips that he had suckled lustfully during the night, the fingers that had unzipped his jeans and toyed with his cock nervously. "You don't. You can't." Justin insisted. More tears fizzled through Justin's long lashes and JC sighed, pulling his face away from those fingers. 'How the fuck do you know?' he wondered, not daring to ask Justin.
You promised me our love would be
A fairy tale that everyone would wish for in their dreams
Well, where's my happy ending
Memories play in my mind
Frame by frame, I see it all
Unfold before my eyes
How could I have been so blind
I need to break the ties that keep on breaking my heart
Not gonna hang on to the strings you tore apart
JC swallowed hard and shucked his hands into his pockets. He batted his eyes while watching Justin, watching the way he backed into Brian, losing himself in that secure arm around his hip. "I love Brian, each and every part of me loves Brian. There's no taking that away." Justin said, his voice low but solid with affirmation.
And JC couldn't hear it anymore. He could only nod for Justin, give Brian a final look, and turn away. He walked down those steps alone, lost in his thoughts and disappointment. His jaw ached, but not half as much as his mind. It wasn't the place for him right now and just maybe Justin wasn't the one he really wanted. Maybe it was an escape from the pressure of being smothered by Nick? Or a way to forget that he no longer had Lance and Bryce did? Possibly, just maybe, it was because he didn't know if he truly loved any of them more than Nikki? Alone, he couldn't decide.
So make it easy for me, if you ever loved me
The hardest thing I'll ever do is say goodbye
Still loving you
So make it easy for me, if you ever loved me
Turn around and walk away
We've run out of words to say
Justin glared at himself in the mirror. He didn't look any different, but he felt different. Outside of the new haircut, his appearance hadn't changed. So what was new? 'You just officially declared your love for Brian and made it known that you aren't leaving him for nothing you idiot. You're feeling those butterflies in your stomach again because you know only that man does it to you.' Justin told himself, a smile glazing his pouty lips. He nodded happily, scratching the scruff on his chin. A childish giggle pressed through his lips and he shook his head, his cheeks flushed with blush. 'Yeah, there goes that feeling again.' he laughed to himself, leaning over the sink to get a closer look at the stars flashing in his eyes.
Justin spotted Brian make an entrance into the bathroom and he quickly tried to hide that laughter of love in his eyes. He shyly turned around to watch Brian as Brian skid past Justin, moving to sit on the toilet. Justin grabbed his arm briskly, stopping him, holding him up. His grip was light, tender, but just enough for Brian to halt his actions and turn to Justin.
With curious blue eyes Brian stared at Justin, wondering what to do and where to sit. "Come here." Justin whispered, gently tugging Brian in his direction. Brian reluctantly moved toward Justin, leaning his backside on the counter near Justin. He felt Justin slip an arm around his shoulder. The arm was warm, soothing and loving, something Brian needed right then.
Justin glanced down to Brian's hand, the swelling mildly down, but it was still red and inflamed. "Does it still hurt?" Justin asked, nuzzling his nose to Brian's ear. Brian shook his head, remaining quiet in the bathroom.
"I put some ice on it." Brian whispered, closing his eyes to savor Justin's warm touch on his skin. Justin kissed Brian;s lobe before pulling back, his hand dropping to Brian's lap. Brian hissed loudly when he felt Justin intentionally grab his hand and give it a squeeze. "Ouch." Brian gasped, waving his hand around to dull the throbbing pain that seered through it. His eyes squeezed closed tighter and he gritted his teeth, slowing his breathing to deal with the pain. "Why'd you do that?" Brian asked briskly, batting open his tear-filled eyes. "Because I knew you were lying." Justin responded, reaching out and grabbing Brian's wrist. He pulled the hand closer to him, letting Brian's thumb just barely touch his chest.
Brian whimpered lowly, watching Justin examine the hand. "It's a bruise, that's all." Brian assured him. Justin glanced up, a doubting glint in his eyes. "Stop trying to be a man about this. If it hurts, don't be ashamed of it. I don't mind babying you." Justin said, rubbing his thumb along Brian's wrist. Brian sighed, leaning near Justin, brushing his cheek along Justin's. He allowed Justin to cautiously trail his fingers over the swollen hand, searching for the sourest spot, the spot that made Brian wince the most, and when he found it, he lifted Brian's hand and lightly pressed his lips to the spot, kissing away the hurt in Brian's mind.
Justin listened to the dull hiss resperating from Brian's lips as Justin lowered his hand. The dull sound of a song being played in the next room led a smile to Justin's lips. "Is that why you didn't tell me what was bothering you the other night?" Justin wondered, running his fingers over Brian's wrist. Brian sucked in his lower lip and lowered his eyes, nodding shamefully. "You really felt that way baby?" Justin asked, pulling back a little with a scrunched up expression. There was silence and Brian's eyes blinked away shame and revealed shyness. "I'm not a jealous husband, I'm really not. I didn't want you to have to strain yourself over the fact that I'm not on good terms with your best friend. I know how that can be." Brian responded, shuffling his bare feet along the tiles of the floor.
Justin let a crooked grin from the corner of his mouth. He lifted his arm and lightly tapped his fist against Brian's jaw. "My baby is so considerate and caring." Justin cooed, tugging Brian closer to him. Brian blushed lightly, but his furrowing brow showed his discontentment.
Sometimes when two people meet
You know that undeniably
There can be an instant chemistry
Do you feel the magic here with me?
Ooh, let's not wait
No need to hesitate
Better find out before it's too late (Before it's too late)
"I love you." Justin whispered, pressing his ruddy lips to Brian's chiseled cheek. "I love you too." Brian whispered his response, keeping his head lowered. Justin chewed his lower lip, keeping his face near Brian's. He rustled his fingers through Brian's soft hair, hoping to pull a more sincere reaction from Brian. "Then what's wrong with you?" Justin wondered, lazily nuzzling his nose to Brian's cheek. "I don't know. I just feel... I feel like I could've been a better husband today. I could've reacted better to JC and I could've spared myself and you a lot of drama." Brian stated with a low, hopeless voice. He leaned his head in his husband's direction, resting his head against Justin's. "I just feel like I fucked up." Brian sighed.
Tic toc, look at the clock
Love is just a moment away
Don't stop, make my world rock
Come closer, don't make me wait
Tic toc, the doors are all locked
Love is just a moment away
Never gonna stop
Gonna make you rock
To the rhythm of the tic toc
"Hey, Rocky, don't feel bad. You did what you had to do and I'm not mad at you for it. You had to stand up for yourself and you had to let Josh know how you felt about him... and how you felt about me." Justin assured his husband, his index finger running along Brian's bottom lip. "You know, I don't care if he has Nick. Good for him, good for Nick. But he's wrong because I know that deep in my heart he could never replace me in your mind or in your heart." Brian gushed, straightening up to glare Justin in the eyes. He could see the undrestanding in Justin's eyes. Just by the way Justin nodded, Brian knew Justin believed him, but he still didn't know if it was enough.
Longing for those sleepless nights
Sunday morning, lazy days and candlelight
The anticipation drives me wild
Fantasies they just won't leave my mind
Ooh let's not wait
Destiny said this is fate
Just imagine what we could create (We could create)
Tic toc, look at the clock
Love is just a moment away
Don't stop, make my world rock
Come closer, don't make me wait
Tic toc, the doors are all locked
Love is just a moment away
Brian blinked back frustrated tears and pressed his forehead to Justin's. "I'm sorry JuJu. I fucked up." Brian whispered, shutting his eyes and sighing with self-defeat.
Justin caressed Brian's thin bottom lip with his thumb before moving upward. This wasn't the Brian Littrell he loved. He loved the softe side, the gentle side, the happy side of Brian. "Don't be sorry Brian, not for anything. You didn't fuck up anything. If anything, you made me feel better about you and our marriage... and myself. If I didn't hear you say those words, I might not have been as strong as I was when I finally told JC to get over me and him." Justin responded. He slid a kiss onto Brian's pouting lips, nuzzling their noses together. He ran his thumb over Brian's eyelashes, collecting the warm tear that desperately tried to escape his closed eyes.
All night long
Never gonna stop
Gonna make you rock
To the rhythm of the tic toc
Feel the rhythm of the tic toc
Just hold on
Take it nice and slow
Wanna make it flow
Like the rivers and the oceans go
Feel the current deep down below
We'll be free
It's a mystery
Wondering what will be
Fortune tellers are telling me
In the crystal ball they can see
You and me
"So this is the part where I apologize for messing up our Valentine's Day?" Brian asked, parting his eyes to look at Justin. Justin pulled back with a caring smile etched into his face. "No." he sung, giggling quietly. Brian licked his lips, the taste of Justin still alive there. He batted his eyes for a moment and then looked into Justin's again. There it was. The romance had finally rekindled and now lust was seeping into Justin's perfectly blue eyes. "This is the part where you say I can make love to you... right here and right now." Justin whispered seductively, drawing dangerously close to Brian's face.
Brian swallowed heavily, remaining still as Justin drew closer. He felt Justin's hand slide into his lap and over his crotch, touching the budding erection that ached down there. "You can make love to me Beanie... right here and right now." Brian finally spoke in a shivering voice and he caught that slippery smile flashing on Justin's lips before he closed his eyes and allowed Justin to kiss him.
Ooh, time keeps ticking away
It goes by so fast
Let's live in the moment, let's make this love last
Tic toc, look at the clock
Love is just a moment away
Don't stop, make my world rock
Come closer, don't make me wait
Tic toc, the doors are all locked
Love is just a moment away
Brian was unprepared for Justin's brisk hands, the way they yanked his shirt up, a cool hand sliding under the material to caress his chest while the other hand tried desperately to pull off the shirt. A soft hand flowed cooly over his chest like water, a forefinger circling his nipple, teasing the bud with an unintentional current of movement. Brian gasped quietly, his own hands resting on the tail of Justin's wifebeater. They slipped back, tracing the curve of Justin's ass, feeling the muscular area and loving the way it flexed as Justin thrusted forward to grind his lengthy hard-on across Brian's crotch.
Justin's lips carnally latched onto Brian's, his tongue flicking against Brian's teeth before seething between Brian's opening mouth. He brushed his tongue over Brian's and the taste of coffee enter his mouth. It was tangy, but still sweet with the nectary taste of Brian's mouth. His lips always reminded Justin of vanilla, the sweet, unforgettable taste that melted slowly in Justin's mouth and left a thick flavor of sugar in Justin's mouth.
He sucked on Brian's lip while helping his lover to the floor, gently laying him back on the cool tiles. Before Brian laid down fully, Justin swiped off his shirt, unlatching his lips from Brian's for a mere moment.
Brian arched his back and cried out something unintelligible as Justin made that bold move and rested a hand firmly on Brian's swollen, covered erection. He felt Justin's other hand grip his wrists together and lift his arms above his head, pinning them down as he laid wet kisses over his lips. Justin had straddled Brian and his erection was pointing outward, often running over Brian's bare stomach. Brian wished he could swallow that erection right now, suck on it until it released its thick cream, but he resisted that temptation. Justin was in control. Justin would make sure things happened the way they were supposed to.
Brian panted against Justin's damp, swollen lips, blinking his eyes open occasionally to make sure it was real, make sure this tingling sensation swallowing his whole body was some wet dream he was having in the middle of the night. Each time he opened his eyes again, Justin was right there, treating him tenderly, touching him kindly, and making sure they both reached heights of undersilenced passion. "Do you... do you want a condom?" Brian asked through heavy pants as Justin began to lay kisses on his nose. "Not if it means I've got to get off of you." Justin replied, kissing his way to Brian's ear. Brian had no complaints. He didn't want Justin to get off of him either, just get off in him.
Justin's lips played a piano-like melody across Brian's chin as his hands strummed like a guitar down Brian's smooth stomach, rubbing his fingers into the rippling strong abs and chasing Brian's skin down to his pajama pants. He felt Brian shudder as his left hand eased over his aching erection while his right hand pulled down the front of the pants. Justin smiled briefly, laying a gentle kiss over Brian's right nipple while his other hand skirted under Brian, gracing his covered ass before latching onto the waistband of the back of Brian's pants. Justin pulled quickly, exposing Brian's bare ass to the cool tile below him. 'He's not wearing underwear.' Justin grinned mentally as he slinked down his lover's plaid pajama bottoms. He shucked the pants from around Brian's feet and scooted them back as he moved closer to his lover's mouth again. His long fingers trailed up Brian's ankles and across his less-than-hairy legs. His fingers slinked through the soft hair and over the nicely tan skin, rubbing the strong muscles in his husband's legs. His hands rubbed Brian's inner thighs as his head curved downward and his lips captured Brian's.
Brian moaned breathlessly into Justin's kiss, his back arching as Justin's hands crept toward his exposed penis. His dick leaked drops of clear fluid, desperate for just a touch from Justin. His tongue flickered over Justin's, massaging it with the tip. He clamped his hands onto Justin's back, squeezing the smooth skin between his fingers. His fingers dipped into the small of Justin's back before grasping the back of Justin's boxers. The cock stabbing him constantly as Justin grinded against him was too much. He needed to feel that cock, caress its length, rub its cherry-red head, and absorb its blazing heat.
Justin nipped Brian's lower lip as he pulled back, panting lightly. He lifted a hand up and helped Brian in yanking down his boxers. He licked his lips, still tasting Brian's sweet flavor. "Oh, you taste so good..." Justin whispered, nuzzling his nose to Brian's. Brian gulped for air, feel Justin's bare penis crush against his stomach, Justin's heavy balls laying on top of his cock. That unkempt bush of light brown hairs surrounding Justin's cock scratched against Brian's stomach as Brian cupped Justin's ass, forcing Justin down onto him. "Oh, ooh baby..." Justin groaned, kissing the tip of Brian's nose. "Mmmm, please... take me." Brian pleaded, bending his legs so his feet were near his ass and his knees were in the air. He spread his legs and pushed upward, rubbing their bodies together in an art of frantic ecstasy. Justin kissed the corner of Brian's open mouth, his hands avoiding Brian's leaking dick to grab his sides. "All right Rocky... just relax..." Justin said softly, his lips descending down Brian's neck.
Brian crooked his head back and waited as Justin requested. He didn't mind the wait when he felt Justin's teeth graze over his niplles or when Justin's perfectly red lips let morning-sweet kisses ove his stomach. He let his hands rise up Justin's back until they brushed over the back of Justin's shaven head, feeling the prickly soft hairs that were once his curls. "Damn... please, don't... don't skip that." Brian pleaded as he felt Justin's tongue flick over Brian's inner thigh, evading Brian's thick penis.
He heard a soft giggle and couldn't help but smile himself. They loved playing these games because they knew what they needed. They knew what they loved about each other, especially when it came to sex and pleasuring each other. Right now, Brian needed a blowjob, he was desperate to have Justin's pouty lips wrapped around his cock with his tongue slivering around the head and his hands massaging his balls.
"Oh... oh, oh, oh..." Brian groaned, arching his back as Justin's tongue lapped from the base of Brian's cock to the head. "Mmmm, delicious." Justin hummed, laying a quick kiss on the tip of Brian's dick, the precum smearing across his lips. "More... come on." Brian begged, lifting his head to watch Justin. Justin winked at Brian, his hands moving under Brian to lift him up. "How about I taste something else before we go a little farther babe?" Justin suggested, flicking his tongue across his lips to gather the precum. He swallowed happily, staring into Brian's creased blue eyes.
Brian blinked his eyes in surprise. Justin? He was going to do that? How long had it been? Probably too long, but when he felt Justin spread his cheeks apart and lay a smooth kiss across his entrance, Brian shuddered and accepted the reality.
Justin burried himself in the space, his tongue sliding out and then across Brian's hole. He licked at it, the freshly showered both tasting like a mixture of soap, salt, and memorable sugariness. He took in a breath of Brian's manly scent, kissing the hole as it puckered. 'Go for it.' he told himself, his tongue pressing against the hole. Penetration. Justin let the tip of his tongue slide inside and he began to move it around, tasting the man he loved so much.
"Oh dear God, mmmm... baby..." Brian gasped as Justin's tongue dipped deeper and deeper into his cavern. Brian tried his best to relax and give Justin full access to his insides. He squeezed his eyes shut as Justin pulled his tongue back and then slide deeper, his finger aided him in opening Brian. "I... I... oh God, baby... sweet Jesus, baby..." Brian panted, his back arching even higher as Justin sucked on the hole, his tongue flicking across it. "Does it feel good?" Justin wodnered, sitting back on his heels, sliding his finger back inside of Brian. Brian nodded quickly, rolling his head back as Justin's finger burried itself in Brian.
Justin curved his finger and then he hit it. He knew he must've caused Brian to nearly ejaculate because Brian stopped breathing for a moment and his body shuddered violently. He rubbed it again and then again, letting his middle finger creep inside of Brian as he teased his prostate. "You've... you've got to stop or I'll cum..." Brian announced, his breath ragged as Justin fingered him. Justin bent down and swirled his tongue across the head of Brian's cock. "I could cum just watching you nut Rocky. The way you scream out and then start to grunt repeatedly. The way you get those wrinkles in your forehead and you start to scrunch up your nose. The way your toes start to curl and your breath gets crazy and you start running your hands all over me, grunting hard in my ear. It all makes me cum so hard... it makes me lose all my control." Justin whispered, adding to the heat and sexual tension between himself and Brian.
Brian cupped Justin's face and pulled him up, hoping Justin wouldn't press against his cock because he feared any more touches would cause him to ejacluate all across Justin's chest and stomach. "Don't say anymore... you're making me too hot, I can barely breathe." Brian gasped, staring at Justin with no control left in his expression. Justin slipped his fingers out of Brian and pushed him back, scottong up a little more until his cock nudged against Brian's ass. "Then left me breathe life into you Rocky." Justin advised, cupping Brian's chin, tilting his head back and rubbing his lips over Brian's, kissing him in a way that nearly took all of Brian's restraint away.
Brian hissed into the kiss when Justin pushed inside of him, never stopping as his cock dove deep inside of him. Justin licked his tongue over the roof of Brian's mouth, hoping to calm him as Justin's penis slid all the way in him, neglecting the tightness of Brian's hole. Justin grunted and scrunched up his nose, pulling out of the kiss as he broke through Brian's barriers. Brian hissed and lathced his hands onto Justin's back, lifting his ass to give Justin a better angle of entry.
Justin pulled back, his cock sliding almost all the way out before thrusting back in, slowly yet passionately. He even out his strokes as he gripped Brian's hip with one hand. He panted above Brian's head, playing with a lock of Brian's hair as he began to rock back and forth inside of Brian. "Oh.. oh, uh, uh, ah... oh..." Brian moaned, sweat forming on his brow. Justin hummed kindly, ducking his head as he twisted his cock inside of Brian.
Brian felt Justin hit his prostate again and called out for his lover. He placed a caring kiss on Justin's tightly closed lips, batting open his eyes to watch Justin's face as they made love. Justin was concentrating and it was obvious to Brian that he needed to relax a little more. "Justin, tell me something..." Brian requested, his hands sliding down until they reached Justin's ass. Justin blinked open his eyes, caught off guard by Brian's words. He continued to move inside of Brian with reservation settling in his indigo eyes. "Do you ever get tired of me telling you how much I love you?" Brian asked, licking his lips. He pressed down on Justin's ass, forcing Justin deeper into Brian and Justin groaned heavily. He shut his eyes and whimpered against Brian's forehead, keeping himself burried in Brian as Brian milked his cock by tightening his ass muscles. "No... I never do." Justin whispered, kissing Brian. That was enough for Brian and he let himself go, his tension flying away like angels in the night.
"You just... don't know... how good you feel..." Justin groaned, nuzzling their noses as they made love at a quicker pace. Brian squeezed his eyes shut as Justin's belly began to crush against Brian's throbbing cock. "And how much I love to feel your love all over my body." Justin added, licking Brian's lips. He felt Justin grip his cock and suddenly, all the words made sense. He knew how Justin wanted to feel his love over him. He forgot about withholding his orgasm and just let everything move freely. The quick hand jerking him off only helped him reach that level of bliss he always loved to achieve with Justin.
"Oh, oh... whoa, oh God... mmm, Beanie, yes..." Brian bellowed, forcing Justin deeper into his body. "Mmm, fuck... ah, ah, baby..." Justin groaned, increasing the pressure he placed on the head of Brian's penis. His thumb ran over the slit, feeling thicker drops escape. 'He's ready.' Justin thought as he thrusted harder. "A little harder... please Beanie..." Brian pleaded, running a hand across the back of Justin's head. He ruffled the buzzed hair and his toes curled. Justin plunged deeper and harder in Brian.
"Harder!" Brian called out. Justin swallowed hard and followed Brian's appeal. He gave a final hard thrust before feeling his hand and his stomach and his chest coated in Brian's thick cum. "God... oh yes, oh fuck... Beanie!" Brian howled, squeezing his muscles tightly. Justin watched Brian's nose scrunch up, his brow wrinkle, and he could hear those thick country grunts falling from his husband's lips.
"Oh damn, God... that's it... no more... oh, I love you..." Brian gasped as Justin contuned to masturbate his now sensitive cock. Justin shook his head, nibbling his lower lip as something stirred in him. "Rocky... I... I'm... I.. I.. I'm cumming!" Justin crooned, releasing himself into Brian's spasming hole. Justin lowered his head and hissed longly against Brian's ear. Brian smiled calmly as he felt Justin's hot semen coat his insides. He combed his fingers over Justin's hair and thrust back against Justin, letting Justin pleasure in his orgasm. "I love you, I love you, I love you." Brian whispered into Justin's ear, those promising words enough to calm Justin and help him liberate the rest of his sexual energy. He kissed Justin's sweaty brow and ran his thumb over the side of Justin's face. And when his husband didn't pull out of Brian right away or try to clean them up, he had no complaints.
Flowers? Check. Favorite cologne? Check. Diamond bracelet? Check. Condom? Double check. He had the basic necessities to woo his former flame for one night and then, hopefully, for a long time to come. He could still remember the phone conversation the night before, asking her to go with him to their favorite restaurant, pleading with her to make time for him on Valentine's, and when she said, "I'll think about it," he knew he was in. He knew he had her and he was going to make sure he won her heart that night. He was going to correct the mistakes that stole him from her over a year ago. 'Just don't propose to her and it'll be all good.' he told himself, standing with broad confidence.
He stared at her apartment door and read the numbers several times, making sure he was at the right door and at the right time. He sighed softly and lifted his head, rapping a familiar knock across the door. He could hear laughter through the door and a mild smile graced his lips. 'Looks like she's not alone.' he thought, adjusting his attire quickly while waiting for the door to swing open.
When the door peered open, a head poked out with wonder, glancing at him with surprise. "Howie?" he asked, disillusioned by seeing his friend peeking out of the door. The door ushered open further and he tried to peek inside. "Kevin? What are you doing here?" Howie asked, leaning in the doorjamb. Kevin cleared his throat, adjusting his tie nervously. "What are you doing here?" Kevin replied, squinting his eyes at Howie curiously. Howie glanced back, hearing footsteps approaching. "Who's at the door honey?" came a woman's voice, leaving Kevin a little baffled. Howie grinned at his friend, leaning off the doorjamb. "I'm here with my girlfriend." Howie chimed as Danay made her appearance in the doorway. "Oh, hey Kevin." Danay smiled, wrapping her arms around Howie's neck to lean on him.
Kevin blinked several times, a fuzzy expression modeling his face as he glared at the two, together. 'When did this happen?' Kevin wondered as Danay glanced at his hand and then his attire. She arched her eyebrow and then frowned. "Uhm, I'll be right back guys." Danay said, slinking her arms off of Howie's shoulders. Howie turned to glance at her while Kevin lowered his eyes. "You okay gorgeous?" Howie wondered, pulling his fingers through her silky nlack hair. Danay smiled and nodded. She leaned forward and placed a quick peck on his lips before rushing away.
Howie turned his head back toward Kevin with a smug grin. "She's great." Howie gleamed, tilting his head with eyes sparling with the light of love. "When did she become yours? When did you two even start dating?" Kevin asked with his heavy southern drawl. Howie shook out of his daze, straightening up in the doorway. "Gee Kevin, where have you been?" Howie scoffed. "No, where have you been? We have hung out with you in awhile. Me, AJ, and Nick all went to a bar earlier today and hung out and discussed our plans for tonight. Of course Brian was too wrapped up in his lovey-dovey crap with Justin, but we figured you would've at least showed up." Kevin remarked, squinting his eyes at Howie indifferently. Howie sighed and rolled his eyes, crossing his arms arrogantly. "I spent the day with my girl. Why would I want to spend time with the guys on Valentine's Day?" Howie questioned, lowering his brow.
Kevin's opportunity to reply was stolen when he spotted Danay strutting back to the doorway, a folded piece of paper locked in one hand. Kevin eyed her, concerned about her appearance. "Where's Nikki at anyway?" Kevin asked Howie lowly as Danay approached. Howie raised his brow immediately. He stood in disbelief. Where had Kevin really been? He must've known. He must've had some sign. He couldn't have been this foolish.
"Here... she wanted me to give it to you." Danay said softly, holding the paper out to Kevin. Kevin glanced at Howie and then Danay and then the paper. This isn't what he had planned. He, AJ, and Nick all agreed that they would woo their loved ones into a new relationship, a loving one that would achieve more than Brian and Justin did. He made AJ promise to support Amanda and love her the way he did when they first got together. He had Nick swear he would give JC a memorable night of love and treat him the way he did when they first began their love. He vowed to himself that he would win over Nikki. And now this. A folded piece of paper, one that he began to unfold and already the words were too much.
Kevin,
If it was as easy as words to change something in your life, then I think I'd say a lot of things to change what has happened in my life. But it's never that easy and it's never meant to be that simple. A hundred times I've thought over your offers and your proposals for us to get back together. I thought millions of times about that ring you offered me last year. But all of that thinking hasn't made anything easier on me and I don't think I should think about it anymore. I think it's time that I stopped thinking about it and let those special moments we shared stayed locked away in the depths of my heart.
I've tried to make this easier for you and myself, but you've made it harder and I can't do it. I can't try again with you. It's not just because you slept with Leighanne, but it's because you never came after me. It's because you only wanted to get back with me to prove to everyone else that we were meant to be. You never proved to me we were meant to be. And then after awhile, you sort of let me go until you saw that me and Joshua were getting closer again and you couldn't take that.
So along this bumpy year that I've had, between you and Josh, I see that there's no winning for me. There's no chance of me finding a man to love me for me and not because he thinks he can love me. But I won't give up and I won't lost faith on what I know is mine. That's why I'm moving on. I don't need another year like last year. Please understand, I appreciate what you've given to me in the past, but what you've given me in the present isn't what I need.
I'm sorry if it hurts, but this is real. I've gotta be strong for myself and I'm moving on. You probably had a lot planned tonight, but I'm going out with Ryan. He's a chance to start again. There's no guarantee he'll ever be my boyfriend or anything more than a friend, but he's not you and he's not Joshua and that's what I need. So... "Like the road below me, I know I will touch the sky above. A million footprints around me tell me it can be done... my time has come."
With all of the love I had for you in the past,
Nikki
Danay wrapped her arms around Howie's waist as she watched Kevin back away, nodding, crumbling the letter in his hands. She heard his quiet sniffle and the whistling wind as it spread over Orlando. He wasn't going to say anything, Danay knew that. She wanted to reach out to provide comfort, but she couldn't. She knew what was in the note. She knew how Nikki felt, but she didn't know if the time was right. Not tonight. Not when Kevin had vowed to change things.
Lance swallowed generously, the thick salty sweetiness still lingering on his tongue. It was a familiar taste wallowing in his mouth. Sometimes it was more bitter than sweet, but tonight, it was like honey to him. He was glad it was Valentine's Day and his lover was in one of those hormonal moods. For some reason, Lance's lover always stasted best on special occasions. But the taste was nothing compared to the sounds, the calls for his name, for the Heavens, and for their love. 'But the taste is still oh so good.' Lance smiled to himself, taking another swallow of the fluid.
His pale green eyes glanced down to watch his lover kneeling before him, happily licking away a string of cum from above his navel. Lance cheerily ran his fingers through Bryce's hair, sighing happily. "You really don't have to do that Bryce. I can wipe it off." Lance noted, trying to lift Bryce from the floor. He watched Bryce dip the tip of his tongue into another small puddle of cum. When Bryce retracted his tongue, a warm moistness still lingering on Lance's belly, Bryce stood. "Trust me, I don't mind James." Bryce smiled. He gave Lance a quick peck on the lips, ruffling Lance's damp hair.
"Well I gues since you made the mess, it's on you to clean it up." Lance said as Bryce moved away from his lover, walking towards the bathroom. "It's not my fault you were masturbatin while giving me oral sex." Bryce giggled, flicking on the light to the bathroom. Lance rushed behind Bryce, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist, holding him still in the doorway of the bathroom. "I can't help it if my boyfriend turns me on." Lance growled into Bryce's ear, nipping at the lobe. Bryce giggled again, drapping a hand back to rub Lance's smooth face.
He felt candy-coated kisses on his neck and he cocked his head to the side, giving Lance more access to his skin. "You're trying to get laid, aren't you?" Bryce joked with Lance. He felt Lance's hands slide over his pubes, tnagling his fingers in the kinky patch of dirty-blonde hair before encircling Bryce's still sensitive cock. Bryce cooed immediately, leaning his head back on Lance's shoulder. "I just might be." Lance said with his deep country accent. He began to move his nimble fingers up and down Bryce's flaccid cock, slowly rising it up to its full, erect length.
"Tell me James... did the others ever make you act this sweet or bring out this sexiness in you?" Bryce wondered, fumbling his fingers into Lance's hair. The hands stopped instantly and Bryce felt Lance sigh against his neck. "When you say 'the others,' do you mean Nick and Josh and Matt?" Lance asked, resting his chin on Bryce's shoulder. "If they're the only ones you've been with." Bryce responded. Lance groaned, retracting his hands until they rested on Bryce's hips. "You know they're the only ones I've been with intimately Bryce." Lance replied Bryce nodded, his eyes glaring downward. He couldn't remember why he even asked the question, but he knew that the subject was still a sore part in his heart and he had to resolve that pain. He needed a remedy. He could feel the symptoms of a heartbreak overwhelming him and he didn't want to feel this ill anymore.
Lance exhaled heavily, finally pulling his hands from Bryce's body. "I don't know if I acted this way with any of them. I guess they all brought something different out of me." Lance sighed, dragging his hands through his hair. Bryce hugged himself, missing Lance's warm touch as Lance took a few steps back. "Nick was like my best friend, somebody I could have sex with and then watch a baseball game with afterward. Our relationship never worked because he was hooked on Brian and I was feeling something for Josh. But no matter what, we always came back to each other for a little comfort and reality checks." Lance noted, walking toward the bed with folded arms. Bryce turned on his heels and watched Lance, staring at his naked form as he moved slowly through the room. He was an angel in the shadows of the room. "I don't really know what Matt was. I didn't get a chance to find out." Lance shrugged, flopping down on the bed. Bryce eyed him with uncertainty, rocking from side to side. "He was special in his own way." Lance added, looking down at the floor.
"And JC?" Bryce asked unconsciously, desperate for an answer to what the men of Lance's life really mean to him. Lance lifted his head, leaning back on the bed. He twisted his lips and crossed his ankles. "He's the past. A place where I used to go when I needed to be happy, but now, I can't return their anymore. He meant the most to me... I'd probably be married to him now had I not woken up and realized who he was and is now." Lance responded, his voice low and somber. That wasn't what Bryce wanted. He didn't want Lance to sound regretful. He knew he was trying too hard then. He didn't want pity, he wanted answers. "But you used me to get over him." Bryce reminded Lance, tucking a piece of his dignity into his heart. "And I was foolish to think I wouldn't fall for you in the process." Lance said softly, dizzy drops of love in his pale green eyes.
"You know, it sucks to be the fourth man to be with you like this. It sucks to know that before I wasn't the world to you. In fact, it sucks that I was in third place, right behind JC and Matt." Bryce remarked, his voice still like frozen water. He shuffled over to the bed, letting Lance's eyes watch his every move. Lance allowed Bryce to sit in his lap and pet his face, seeing the hurt rimming Bryce's eyes. "And it sucks that I'm in love with you so much and I'm actually starting to question if your love for me is pure." Bryce whispered, batting back perfectly round tears.
Lance rested his head against Bryce's chest, sighing sadly. "You know, Justin told me something very important last night after dinner. He said that it's okay to question what you have and what you could have had, but he said to never forget that the answer to that question will never be answered. He said that he loves Brian so much, enough to know that those questions may haunt him, but Brian will always give him the best answer." Lance whispered. "And what's that?" Bryce asked, twining his fingers in Lance's hair. He sniffled as Lance looked at him. "He said that the best answer Brian can ever give him is to say I love you and somehow, for some reason, it's always the answer he needs to his questions." Lance replied.
A tear blinked out of Bryce's eyes and he hid them. Whether he was ashamed or not, he couldn't let Lance see him cry over this. "I love you Bryce Winters." Lance whispered, rubbing his thumbs along Bryce's waist. "I've always loved you James." Bryce responded low and timidly. Given or hidden, it was the answer.
He entered his home whistling a tune of happiness, jiggling in his keys in one hand while another hand rested in the pocket of his faded jeans. He had hopes and he had plans, more than he had before he left his house earlier. Earlier was not something he wanted to think about, not now. His plans would ensure that earlier was just the past and left at that. All he needed now was to find the final piece to his orchestrated idea.
"Panda? Koala? Where are you two?" AJ called out as he dropped his keys and sunglasses onto the coffee table. He stayed near the table, glancing around for a sign of his family. All he received was a grateful bark from Vegas as he marched around AJ's feet and a chirp from Jack Daniels as he peeked up from behind the couch. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Amaiya was supposed to come rushing over to see him, leaving behind her paradise of toys in the center of the living room to hug her father. But there were no toys in the center of the living room; not one. 'Maybe Amanda cleaned up?' he shrugged, finding a seat on the edge of one of the ivory couches. But where was Amanda? She was supposed to come out of her hiding place, either to holler at him for his earlier actions or to declare how much she missed him. But there was no sign of her.
Out the corner of his eye, with an incessant flash, the answering machine blinked with one digitalized number on the screen. "Amanda?" AJ called out again as he scooted nearer to the machine on the coffee table. The silence and the faint smell of everything but Amanda and his daughter left AJ fearful as he pressed the button on the answering machine. With that beep and then the sound of her voice, AJ knew to be more than fearful.
'Alex... I guess you're not back yet, but you said you would be. It doesn't matter though because I'm not there. The point of this message is more for your sake and not mine. I wanted to let you know that Amaiya's here with me and she's fine. What you said today, the way you reacted... the way you reacted at the studio yesterday and the way you've been acting these past few weeks, it's all become a little too clear to me. We weren't ready for this. We weren't ready for this marriage and when you agreed that we should separate, it just made it easier for me. Alex, sometimes, I don't know... I just figure this is what you want right now and I can't raise Amaiya with you, under that roof, if I know my husband thinks there's better things to do. I'm not saying you're a bad father because I know you love Amaiya dearly, but I also know that I love you and sometimes I don't get the same response from you. My brother Jason is coming by the house tomorrow to pick up a few things for me and Amaiya and I'll probably bring Amaiya by tomorrow night so you can see her and she'll stay the night with you until we head off on tour. God knows I don't know what these next few weeks are going to be like on tour with you, but I pray that we can make it through the tour without telling the whole world that me and you are breaking up. Take care Alex and Happy Valentine's Day.'
He blinked back a few stinging tears, his chin cupped in his hands as he leaned closer to the machine. He didn't expect her to say those words or to be as soft-spoken as she was. He wished she would have been yelling at him or cussing at him, that way he wouldn't feel so bad about his marriage ending. He wouldn't fear his heart being ripped apart from all corners because he would know that this was meant to be and they could get over it and just raise Amaiya separately. He couldn't get off that easily. He had to have a wife, that he still loved hopelessly, break up with him over the answering machine in a voice that pleaded for a long, drawn out cry, and how he wished to be the man that would hold her when she cried.
"Well, fuck it, it's over then." he said rashly, standing from the couch and wiping the small tears that tried to slip from his eyelids. He groaned loudly, kicking his foot against the couch in frustation. He knew there was nothing to do. He couldn't beg for forgiveness, even if he felt he was wrong. And what was he to do? He couldn't tell his friends. He only felt strong enough to tell Brian and what could Brian do? He felt helpless. He had played his hand poorly and the results were nothing he liked. "Fuck it, it's over." he said once more, a burning vibration in his throat as he spoke the words. That was his only complaint.
Britney pressed her hand against the cool glass that separated her from the tiny infants locked away in the nursery of the hospital. She sighed while watching all the infants squirm around in their hospital cribs, searching for a reason to be there. 'One day, I thought my first daughter or son would be in this nursery. I'd be twenty-two, having a strong enough career to take a small break and have my first baby with my husband.' she thought, tilting her head to admire the children. 'But fuck it if Joey cares.' Britney brooded, a grimace crossing her face.
"I always thought her name would be Laura Belle Fatone." Joey's light voice spoke out, startling Britney. She quickly pulled her hand from the glass and turned to the direction of his voice, keeping her grimace as she saw him. He advanced toward her with a solemn expression, his eyes plastered with unspoken apologies.
"What?" Britney asked, confused by Joey's statement. Joey fiddled with the zipper on his coat while walking closer to her. "Laura Belle. I always thought that would be the name of our first daughter. I figured you'd want to give her her first name from your best friend back in Kentwood and I thought Belle would fit since she'd be as beautiful as her mother." Joey remarked, edging boldly close to Britney. He placed a hand on her hip, sighing with hopes of kindness being returned.
Britney shook her head, nibbling on her lower lip. She turned her head from Joey, trying to escape the words in his eyes and the way they begged to have her back at home. "I don't want to discuss my dreams with you anymore.
Not after what has happened." Britney declared, her voice shaky. She felt Joey grab her wrist, holding it in a way that might make her return if she thought long enough about it. "It can't be that easy Britney. You can't actually tell me that two years is that simple to throw away. Not all of our dreams." Joey insisted, taking a smaller step closer to her. She shook her head again, batting back tears as she tried to pull her wrist away. Where was that strength she had earlier? Suddenly she felt wrapped in a web of incessant pain and she couldn't escape her entrapment.
"It can be that easy. It was easy for you to sleep with Kelly and throw away our dreams. You didn't have that right, but I have this right." Britney argued, finally snatching her wrist away from Joey's coiled fingers.
She had no more foolish pride, just a relentless need to finally let him go. "I can't be with you anymore Joey. It's over. Me and you, we're over.
I'm sorry." she declared firmly with tears lining her eyes.
What was that melody in her voice? It was too somber, too frustrated to hit the right key for Joey's mind to hear, but silent enough for his heart to pick up the meaning. "Don't be sorry Brit. It's my fault... I lost the dream." Joey whispered, petting her shoulder with his hand. He cleared his throat lowly, sniffling as he raised a hand to wipe away a tear from the corner of Britney's eye. He didn't want to see her cry, not over them. "But if somewhere down the line, if the next guy doesn't find you, and you see me hoping for another chance, please say you won't totally ignore me and not give me that chance." Joey pleaded, dropping his hand to his side. Britney blinked a few times trying to clear her eyes of tears while looking into Joey's. That single, full tear that rested on the edge of his lashes broke her strength. She sniffled and lifted the tear from Joey's face, hoping one day she'd be able to touch that face and know it was hers again. "I won't ignore you Joey and I'll think about giving you another chance." Britney whispered. She turned from him again and listened as he pulled away and stumbled down the hall. She knew he was going somewhere to hide and release his tears. He never cried in front of her and Britney was thankful for it.
Brian leaned against the windowsill of the hospital room with hooded eyes, hoping that this would all be over soon. It was drawing closer to midnight and he only wanted to get past the sadness that kept surrounding his Valentine's Day. He was grateful that he and Justin had vouched to put Sebastian up in a private room at the hospital to avoid being noticed, but after the words that had been spoken a little earlier, the way Justin excused himself from the room with tears slipping down his face, Brian couldn't help but wish that this day would end.
"Do you think Justin will be okay?" Sebastian coughed out, turning his head away as Angel stared at him curiously from his seated position at the foot of Sebastian's bed. Brian shook out of his worrisome daze and blinked his eyes. He cleared his throat, scratching his chin with thoughts galopping through his ivory-blue eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine. He's just a little shaken up about what the doctor said." Brian responded in his low country accent. Sebastian nodded, sighing as he eased back into the pillows behind him. "It's not really a big deal. The doctor said that when they took my last blood sample I didn't have AIDS." Sebastian shrugged, lowering his head while still staring at Sebastian. He grinned at the curious little boy as Angel toyed with a magazine in his hands and took small glances at Sebastian and his father. "And he also said that your T-cell count was 230... that's kind of close to 200, which means you were close to being considered an AIDS patient." Brian reminded Sebastian, leaning off the windowsill with a tight frown on his face. That frown pulled at Sebastian's heart and he stole his eyes from Brian's.
Sebastian felt Brian sit on the edge of the bed and he lifted his eyes to watch Brian lifting Angel into his lap. "I'm fine. Just a little sick. It's the flu, that's all." Sebastian assured Brian with a worried voice. Brian nodded, parting a soft smile. "I know that. It's just... the thought of losing you really worries us and Justin worries very easily. Something like that just tears him up inside. He loves you like a brother." Brian replied quietly, combing his fingers through Angel's hair as Angel stayed silent, comfortable and unmoving in his father's lap. Sebastian blushed lightly and a smiled closed over his lips. It was just that easy to make Sebastian feel like he could walk over the ocean with nothing under him but the smoothing waves. "I know it's hard to think of me not being here, but I'll always be here." Sebastian promised Brian, strining his own fingers through his hair. Brian arched an eyebrow, his brow wrinkling in obvious confusion. "That little boy right there has my name. I know he'll be able to give you the love I can't when I'm gone." Sebastian assured his friend while motioning toward Angel. Brian took a quick glance down to Angel and then grinned. "There's no replacing your love Sebastian, but I'm sure Timber will try." Brian gleamed and that left Sebastian high off of happiness.
Justin slouched in his chair while his tear-soaked eyes focused on the image of Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, LaTavia Roberson, LeToya Luckett sitting on stools in front of an audience. It was an old episode of Motown Live and those were the women that composed Destiny's Child then. He cleared his throat and chewed on his lower lip. It was funny to him how friends came and went. He closed his eyes and batted out a few tears. He could know someone for ten years or five years or just a year, or in Brian's case, a few weeks, and feel like that person is the best friend he's ever had. But he knew something always took them away from him. He had lost a connection with Jimmy because he was gay. He had to sever his relationship with JC because he knew where JC wanted it to go and where Justin didn't want it to go. He rarely got to hang with Trace anymore because of Trace's constant touring with Innosense and his ex-girlfriend Jenny. Now, he was losing Sebastian to a disease that Sebastian shouldn't have had.
It all seemed the same to him. No matter how long he knew them, they all went away. But there was always Brian. Justin smiled a little when thinking of his husband. He'd never be able to chase Brian off. Brian would always be there, as a lover, a husband, a father to his son, and as the best friend Justin could want. But when looking at Beyoncé, Kelly, LaTavia, and LeToya, knowing that the women had known each other for ten years and yet and still they weren't even close to being friends now, just because of past differences, Justin wondered if Brian would be the only one he always had.
It's too far, it's too fast
It's too quick, it won't last
It's not right, but it's not wrong
There's no time, move along
But I've come much too far
And I know what's in my heart
And I know what I feel
I can tell when it is real
My time has come...
Again, Justin felt his eyes becoming bleary with tears, tears that he wished he could stop crying, but he just couldn't. He sniffled quietly, watching the women on the television screen smile lightly as the song was sung. 'Could it all be there and go away that easily?' he wondered, crossing his arms over his chest. He sniffled again and tried to shake away the tears that haunted him.
When strong arms reached around the chair from the side and wrapped around his chest, Justin sank into them immediately, his eyes catching Angel stumble over to a nearby table to grab a Sesame Street book sitting on the edge. He licked his lips, tasting the saltiness of his own tears, and watched Angel sit on the floor of the waiting room to fumble through the book. Justin knew that Angel had no concept of what the words written across the pages meant, but Angel found meaning in the pictures and that's all that mattered.
"I don't think crying makes you attractive." Brian whispered into Justin's chair, forcing himself into the chair with Justin until they were a tight fit. Justin leaned his head on Brian's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut to shed the last of the tears. "I'm sorry." Justin whispered, keeping his eyes shut as he felt Brian sweep a hand over his short-cut hair. "I think you're really attractive when you smile." Brian said, nuzzling his nose into Justin's temple. Justin giggled out a small smile, his eyes opening with a stringy redness running through them.
It's okay, be afraid
It's alright (It's alright)
You just take that fear
Turn it into your strength
It's called life (It's called life)
And that's why we're here
Now I've come much too far
And I know what's in my heart
And I know what I feel
And this time I know it's real
My time has come...
Brian kissed the spot right above Justin's ear, his top lip brushing against prickly ends of hair. "Tell me what I can do to make this easier on you." Brian requested, his soft Southern intone pacifying Justin's loneliness. Justin thought for only a moment, cradled in Brian's loving arms with nothing daring to pull him away. "Three words." Justin replied quietly, his eyes flocking to watch the screen again. Brian laughed into Justin's ear before kissing it. "I love you." Brian said. Justin smiled lightly, snuggling his head to Brian's neck.
"Anything else JuJu?" Brian wondered, interlocking his fingers on Justin's stomach. Justin uncrossed his arms and let them hang over Brian's. "You could tell me if I've hurt you these past few months whenever I was around Josh." Justin requested. Brian fell silent before sighing, chewing on his lower lip with subtle shyness.
And like the road below me
I know I'll touch the sky above
A million
A million footprints around me
Tell me it can be done
My time has come
Now I've come
I've come much too far
And I know what's in my heart (I know what's in my heart for you)
And I know what I feel
And this time, I know it's real
My time has come...
Brian laid a soft kiss on Justin's temple before adjusting himself in the chair. "You haven't hurt me Justin, he has." Brian finally replied, his thmbs playing with the material of Justin's shirt. "What does that mean?" Justin asked, cocking his head so that he could look at Brian from the side.
Brian cloaked his expression with a tepid frown. "It means he knows when he's hurting me and he doesn't try to stop it. He knows that it hurts for me to look at the two of you standing together and not think of what happened. He knows that if he can't have you, he won't let me be happy with you. That's what hurts." Brian responded, shucking his eyes while unlacing his hands from Justin's stomach.
Justin quickly latched his hands onto Brian's wrists, keeping Brian's hands on his stomach. "How do you know it wasn't me who kept the conversations going a little longer, who stood too close to him or who didn't pay attention to the way you looked when you saw us together?" Justin asked, searching for something he knew he could find in Brian. Brian's eyes danced with disappointment. He leaned closer to Justin, shaking his head a little. "Because despite the fact that I doubted it and you doubted it too, you love me and there's no way I'd ever think that you'd hurt me just like that. You might not know it Bean, but that love inside of you won't just fade and neither will mine. I have faith in you and I know you have faith in me." Brian replied, the sureness in his voice giving Justin no reason to argue. He only kissed Brian with the same sureness running through his lips.
It's so close, it's been a long time coming
It's here and now and I know it'll last
It's so right that it can't wrong
Now's the time (Now's the time)
For me to be strong
Now I've come much too far
And I know what's in my heart
(I know what's in my heart, yeah yeah)
And I know what I feel
And this time, I know it's real
My time has come, oh ho
Justin felt Brian's tongue slowly trying to ease out of his mouth and when the tip of it licked at Justin's lips, Justin smiled into the kiss. The curve of Justin's lips against his made Brian pulled back a little, confused by Justin's reaction. He felt Justin combing his fingers through his hair and his giggling blue eyes held Justin's reflection. "Beanie?" Brian asked questiongly. Justin licked his lips, slowly running his tongue over his lips in a teasing way. Brian felt something shift in his pants and he knew it was his cock getting hard just watching Justin's tongue. "Valentine's Day is over Rocky. Most guys wouldn't be as fortunate as I am to have a lover that's sweet on Valentine's Day and even after." Justin said, running his thumb over the back of Brian's neck. Brian blushed heavily, ducking his head as his dimples formed for his loving grin. "Most guys aren't fortunate enough to have a great guy like you in their lives." Brian noted, placing a quick peck on Justin's lips. Justin pulled on the back of Brian's head, keeping him closer. "And I don't think anyone is fortunate to love you the way I do." Justin grinned, kissing Brian briefly before running his tongue over Brian's bottom lip. Brian groaned quietly, shivering as the thoughts of their earlier love making raced through his mind.
"And do you know what I want to do right now Rocky?" Justin asked, leaning on Brian. Brian closed his eyes and sighed with joy as Justin's fingers traced down his shirt toward his crotch. "What?" Brian gasped out, hoping Justin's hand would reach his covered erection soon. "I want to take Bastian to go see his future little sister." Justin grinned, leaning back and giggling quietly at Brian. Brian's eyes ripped open and he gazed at Justin with half irritation and half amazement. "You want to do what?" Brian asked quickly, slouching into the seat. Justin laughed helplessly, giving Brian a light shove. "I want Bastian to see his future sister. It's late, I know, but I want Bastian to at least get a look at his sister before we head out of here." Justin replied, standing up. Brian frowned, a wrinkle creasing his brow. "But Justin... we don't even know if we can adopt her yet." Brian whined, pushing himself out of the chair. Justin lifted an exhausted Angel from the ground and cradled him in his arms. "Faith, Brian, faith." Justin reminded Brian, leading him out of the waiting room. Brian held onto the tail of Justin's shirt and followed with a little more confidence. When looking at his family, Brian realized he had nothing to complain about.
TO BE CONTINUED...
--- All of those who are mad at JM for taking forever to finish the second part of this story, raise your hand... Hell, I even raised my own hand! LOL
Sorry, I send a million apologies to everyone for taking so long. I get so caught up at work and when I get home, I get tired and what not. Still, that's no excuse because this story relaxes me. So do not forgive me, but keeping reading the stories. Onto other things... uhm, I can't think of what to say. LOL For those of you who have wondered, now you know Brian and Justin will most likely adopt a girl. I ALREADY have a name for her, so please don't send in names. I know everyone likes to, but I've had this one for awhile now. Sorry! Maybe someone else will get a kid and I'll have a poll. And NO, Lance and Bryce aren't getting married, at least not right now. I get a lot of folks asking that one. I'm still going to write Brian's birthday story even though I'm a month too late. Also, if you have ideas for the fan appreciation story, please send them in. I only have one person who sent me ideas! That's not much of a fan appreciation story to me. If there's a particular couple (Please not one of the straight ones) that you'd like to have sex, let me know. If you want a couple back together or a couple to part ways, let me know. If you want to see two of the characters sit down and talk, let me know! I can't write it without you great readers. Oh yes, the song of the moment is Janet Jackson's "All 4 U."
If you want to get into a good mood, take a listen to that one. Oh yeah, SAVE NAPSTER! Please write me about this story and look for the new one to come out sooner or later. I'm working on a fan appreciation chat story. The fan chat should be out before the next story. Get ready for a lot of lyrics in the next story because it has concert scenes! Sorry. Okay, I'm out of here. Write me and I'm "wishing you the best, pray that you are blessed with much success, no stress, and lots of happiness." ---