OK this is my first time at a story like this, I have read many from the archive and loved them. This is about ME, MY life, and MY fantasies with Brian Littrell and the BackStreet Boys. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of the BackStreet boys, and if your not 18 GIT! Enjoy and please send mail to Zelgadyss@AOL.com with good or bad comments on the story. Just remember its my first time, and any resemblance to other stories I am sorry it's coincidental and quite on accident.
Well its part 10, I have really enjoyed writing this series..But I don't want to write a series and waste the space on Nifty's archive if no one is reading. So the next part will be the last part if I don't get more e-mails as I will have to assume no one is interested in the story.
Brian's 7 Sea's of Loneliness part 10 by Jon
I slowly woke from my sleep, in Brian's arms. It felt good to be so close, even with the pressure on my ribs, it made no difference. I felt whole, in a way only a love can make you feel. I just kept looking at Brian, I must have stared for an hour. I knew how exhausted he must be, emotionally as well as physically from the past few days..I know I was. I didn't want to wake him, but I knew I needed to soak in a nice hot bath at this point cause my ribs were still sore. Lucky for me this place came with everything...hot tub, huge bathroom, and this killer huge bed. I got into the hot tub after stripping and getting into a pair of shorts. I heard soft music come into the room, as I assumed Brian woke up. Then I heard a soft voice follow the music, it was a song I knew well. Brian was singing to me, and I turned to face him. "Come stop your crying it will be all right just take my hand hold it tight."
Knowing what he was singing I smiled and did the unexpected and stole the next line knowing that it was true to my feelings "I will protect you from all around you I will be here don't you cry"
We finished the song "You'll Be In My Heart" together, and he joined me in the tub. He had a few bottles with him, small bottles, I wasn't sure what they were and he just grinned. "I love hot tubs Jon, but you know what makes them better?" I looked at him...thought for a few moments "You make it better Brian, it was to..lonely till you stepped in." I smiled knowing that I had meant what I said...and knew it was love, cause that's the only way to explain the cheesy lines. Brian got a devious grin on his face "Well, OK..I'll admit, having you join me is the best..but besides that" He pulls one bottle out and puts a few drops in the water, as the air fills with the smell of strawberries. "I have loved this stuff in my hot tubs" Then he motioned me over to him. He opened his legs a bit and I sat leaning up against him. The large gashes on my back not as bad as I had originally thought, but deep enough regardless. I winced a bit at first as I got used to them leaning on him, I knew they would go away in a few days as well, and all that would remain would be a few battle scars. A side effect I could live with. Brian started working the tension out my neck and shoulders. His hands soothed me as I pulled my head back and rested it on his shoulder as he continued his massage. He worked all the knots out of my neck and shoulders and started going to the back as I winced out loud. "Jon what's wrong?" That Hurt....remember, large openings, exposed back?" This cause me to chuckle and he got a look of utter hurt on his face. I turned my body slowly to face him. I took his face in my hands "Brian, yes it hurt, but that was just a joke. I find it easier to joke about some things and let it go than to dwell, I am sorry I hurt you, please understand that' part of the way I am." With that being said, I slowly moved in and kissed him. I didn't care how it felt, or how my ribs tried to stop me. It wasn't till his hands started at my nipple that I stopped. "Not yet Brian...if we start I may not stop.." "And is that bad Jon? We were going to the other night but you got hurt and.." "And the setup would have been there..now, in a hot tub...doesn't feel right, not to mention my ribs have been saying stop for awhile..but I had to kiss you." I slowly got out of the hot tub and dried off, walked out the room and headed towards the lobby, Asked the receptionist where there was a doctor close by and she called up the hotel doctor. Brian saw me with the doctor and turned around. I saw him and called him over. "Brian, would you join us?" He saw I had a serious look in my eyes...I whispered In his ear "I wanted to get checked out before I did anything, and I had felt a pain in my chest and have a hard time breathing..he wants x-ray's." My look got grim as I had a good idea what it meant, and I am sure Brian did as well. I was Just hoping to avoid surgery at that point. My head was spinning, I had not even thought of what could happen, all I knew when I was hurt that I wanted Brian near me, and all else didn't matter. Well now I am faced with the "all else" and I still say it doesn't matter. I grab Brian's hand and squeeze it, he knew I was worried, as I showed a false sense of care free outside, inside I was trembling. I had never been so scared in my life. The doctor left, and I turned to Brian, him not hearing the doctors words, but seeing the single tear in my eye knowing it could be bad. I quickly wiped it away hoping it was quick enough, seeing it was too late. "I'm sorry I just up and left Brian, but when I had a hard time breathing, and felt the pain..i knew I had to come, and I didn't want to worry you if it was nothing, and if it was serious, I would have gone to have it dealt with, and then had you come in after you knew I was OK..but after I started talking to the doctor and heard how serious it was, and saw you..I needed you here for me.." I tried to smile, hoping to break the tension. It was a short lived smile as the doctor returned, and had me transported into a van and off to the hospital we went...we being me, the doctor, and a few nurses...Brian wasn't allowed in, and so he went up to the elevator. I closed my eyes and just imagined him there, I needed him there for this.
Brian got in the elevator, he went to their floor, the tears he refused to shed in front of me now flowing freely. By the time he reached his floor he was in an all out bawl. His tears and sobs were loud and fast. He almost ran to Kevin's room, where the guys had just finished breakfast, and had dispersed, but Kevin was cleaning up. "Kevin...We..need...hospital..." Was all Kevin could make out between his sobs. He started looking weird at Brian, and looked for sign of injury on Brian. "Brian are you OK?" He nodded "Jon..Hospital..Quickly.." Brian was nearing hysterics as he flopped down on the floor and started hyperventilating. Kevin called for a rental car, and for the others to meet him downstairs as he ushered Brian down to the elevator and to the car the others already in it, they all looked at him worriedly and all shot different questions at him. Thus confusing him further and so causing him to cry more. Nick tried to console Brian as Kevin drove and everyone asked what was wrong. Kevin spoke all he knew "OK guys, best I could understand was Jon's in the hospital, and Brian came up and broke down, so its serious." Hearing it from Kevin set Brian over as he broke down on Nick's shoulder, and bawled his eyes out nodding at what Kevin said, and the others held in gasps of fear. They slowly got to the hospital...tho Kevin tried to go fast the traffic was horrific. They entered, Kevin supporting Brian as he cried and they entered. Kevin looked to the nurse "ma'am we are here for Jonathon Burke, he was sent by ambulance up from the Hotel." The old receptionist said "Have a seat the doctors are looking at him, when they are finished they will get you..but they can't say much as there are only 2 people on the list of information to be delivered to. One is his father, Kevin Richardson, and his brother Brian Littrell." Kevin let a small smile play across his face as he realized what I did. I had made it so Brian and Kevin could see me as family and be given all the information and such knowing Brian would go to at least him. The doctor came in after about an hour and escorted Brian and Kevin into a view room, as he showed them my x-ray. My rib wasn't just bruised as I had tried to let on, it was cracked, and it was causing pressure on my lungs when weight was on my chest. The were soon escorted to a room with me in it, getting dressed as there was little that could be done for a cracked rib. The doctor spoke to me "I will let your dad and brother take you home Jon, but you need rest, lots of it, and no strenuous activities for a week or two." Kevin glared at Brian thinking we had done more than we did, and Brian stared back just as hard. I Joined them as the doctor escorted us all to the waiting room, me with a bottle of pain killers for the next week. As I walked into the room the guys all looked at me funny, including Brian and Kevin. The doctor laughed as I started stumbling around, and mumbling in gibberish. "He is already on some medications and will be out of it for a few hours." We all got out and we soon mobbed by reporters, not sure how they got there, and the guys fought to get to their car. Kevin made a quick statement "A good friend and body guard was hurt the other day when the barrier broke, we were just getting him checked out to make sure he was OK." With that he fought to get to the car, and got us in it. Suddenly I felt a deep pressure on my chest and howled in sheer pain. I dropped to the ground clutching my chest as Brian picked me up and rocked me softly as Kevin drove off. I still had what hit me in my hands as I slowly started going to sleep to forget the pain. Out of my hand dropped a small metal rod. No one knew who did it, but it was obviously thrown, and it hit its mark...even in my sleep I groaned in pain a bit. After getting to the hotel the medication started wearing off, and Brian carried me to our room, Kevin and Nick but a step behind him. A.J. and Howie deciding to let Kevin and Brian handle it..but couldn't figure out why Nick was there. My chest felt like it was caving in at first, as I calmed down, the pain went away, but I could not for the life of me figure out who hit me. As much as they asked. I know it came from the direction of the hospital, and it was thrown hard, but that was all I knew. "Guys...I need sleep, I will feel better after I think..Brian, will you lay with me?" Kevin got a suspicious look, as Brian glared back and laid with me. I started to drift off into a deep sleep, and I held Brian as close as I could, him cuddling close into my body drifting off to sleep as well. Nick and Kevin quietly entered Kevin's room for a day of peace alone in each others arms as well. They called a movie up, got dinner and made a night of it. Both were quite content. The next few days were quiet as I laid in bed for most of it. Brian stayed with me except for the few rehearsals, and he had to go to the show. I insisted on going, and he knew I wasn't relenting so he let in. The show went off without a hitch, and they even dedicated a song to me. It was my favorite, "Spanish Eyes". I thought I saw Brian look at me a few times, he must have case Kevin gave him a stern look, and winked at me. The show ended, and this time the guys weren't mobbed by fans..but that's cause they used a trick, but it was a clean get away nonetheless. We went to the Hotel and just crashed for the night, each to their respective rooms. My ribs healed quite well in the next week we were there, and when we left, I was almost 100%. We went off to the next stop in PA. It was a 2 day trip, one day off, then a practice and concert the second night. Brian and I cuddled in bed most of the night, and when we weren't cuddling and kissing we were talking about future plans. "Jon what are your plans for the future?" "Well, I don't really know anymore. I used to have a few idea's, but now that I am with you I really don't know. Anywhere we decide to go I will manage tho." I smiled cause I knew I was finally happy. Brian looked at me, a serious look on his face, and I knew something was going on here, and got the same look he had on. "Brian, that face isn't good, what's wrong?" "Jon I don't want to hold you back, you knew what to do in life before...and now I change that?" "Brian my #1 dream was to find love, and not be alone, after that nothing else matters. Besides, the rest of the plan was college, and that I will do in a few years if something happens to the group. When we settle down in a town, I will go to college, till then I will stay with you where ever we end up, long as we end up there together." Brian's face looked relieved a bit.and deep down I know I meant what I said, but like him I still feared about the future as well. As I pondered, Brian got a bit...frisky shall we say, and started kissing me all over my face. I returned the loving kisses as we started grinding a bit, and stopped as I realized what was happening. "Not yet Brian..please, when the time is right we will go there, I want this to be special...please?" He saw that look in my eyes and knew this wasn't the time...and I could feel he was horny from his raging hard on. I just looked away, and let a tear escape as he went to the bathroom and took care of the situation. I knew I was ready.but something kept saying stop. So I did....but I knew I wouldn't hold out much longer so I made my plans, and I set a new date to do it, I had the perfect idea and I started to smile. Brian walked in on me smiling. "What's so funny?" "I just decided to make some plans for us...and don't ask you'll see later." He just gave me those puppy dog eyes and I kept firm. He pouted a bit longer and gave in and kissed me. We ended up falling asleep in each others arms that night and had a peaceful sleep. Brian's 7 Sea's of Loneliness part 11 by Jon ~~~~ Next Day ~~~~ We went to breakfast, the past few days behind us. It was a relatively quiet event considering the fact we were all stuffing our faces and drinking juice, coffee, and milk. We all had talked about little things, nothing heavy as it was too early to gather any real tuff thoughts. Kevin went over the schedule with the guys for the day. A few photo shoots, practice, and then the concert that night. It was almost like a party. The guys Hyped the crowd up trying to see if they had energy, and if they wanted to hear a specific song and such. It was a grand time as the crowd swayed to the music, and I swayed to the music, we all just really got into the music. What more could you ask for right? .Well that's what they did, and boy did they get it as Joey Mcintire came on stage and started singing some of his tunes. The concert was complete, and the guys had a back stage session with some fans. I stayed away cause I figured they were just girls screaming and ogling over the guys. It must be flattering tho. To know that so many people want to be around you, but I had the one person I wanted around me, famous or not. He was caring and loving, sensitive and sweet. A bit protective but that's what I like most I guess, tho I'd never admit it to anyone else. The way he takes care of me almost and yet I take care of him in a way too. I sat down and got that dream look in my eyes. I also started to daydream almost, but it wasn't a day dream, it was a premonition. I knew what they were like, so I had just fully embraced it. On the outside I was awake and in a state of staring blankly, inside I was seeing a possible future. ~~~~ The Premonition ~~~~ Its a nice night out. No clouds anywhere to be seen. A full moon hangs in the air. The smell of forest surrounds the area, as Brian and Jon are seen in White tuxedo's. About 20 people make a circle around them, and a person unknown to all, addressed as "Tree" is in the center with them. What looks like a traditional wedding in the Pagan religion goes on, as Brian and Jon say their vows, and both sing a song, as their spirits become melded so they truly are as one, mind body and soul. (a pagan marriage is MUCH different than a Christian one. Your souls become bonded as well, divorce and marriage is more than just a piece of paper) A light breeze blows by them as the ceremony completes and the few people cheer and Brian and I kiss. I soon wake up ~~~~ ~~~~ At The Back Stage Area ~~~~ I wake up to Brian shaking me, trying to get me out of my dreaming state. As I come to a full awareness of where I am I start looking around "Huh what's wrong guys?" "They all look at me like I had a second head and Nick started in "You were in dream world there buddy." "No Nick I was in a premonition thanks, and I aint the only one with a buddy here!" He blushed Kevin did too, the other guys "Ohh'd and AHH'd" but none got it but Kevin and Nick. "Anyhow, lets get going." Kevin said. We entered the van and we went to the hotel as again I started to slip into a daydream state. Now I was good at controlling the premonitions, but these were beyond normal. Soon my face went pale white..but no one noticed as they were all joking around. ~~~~ Premonition Two ~~~~ His eyes are tear filled, as they look down at something. He can't make out what he is looking at thru the tears. All I feel is hurt, rage, and intense sense of loss. Its almost as if I had lost that love I had cared for so deeply. I saw my face in a mirror, only it wasn't my face, it was Brian's. He was wearing all black, and a few of my things, my only jewelry he now wore. I remember thinking he looked good in it, and also I started to se clearly. They were in a small group. Almost like a coven and a few others. I see a casket going down, and a Picture of me with it. This starts to strike a few feelings as Brian starts to sing an utterly depressing song. As if he has to let go of the one true love he ever had, and I woke up again viciously this time as the feeling of pain was fresh in my mind ~~~~ ~~~~ In The Van, At The Hotel ~~~~ Again they are shaking me, it looks like I was having a premonition Brian thought, but as he noticed my skin get pale and my temperature drop, he knew it wasn't good. I slowly came too as Brian was hovering over me, a worried look on his face. He must have thought I stressed out and was collapsing. I looked at him and grabbed onto him as if my life depended on it. My mood had gone from overly happy to a sullen morbid mood. I didn't even want to let go of him to get into the hotel room. I had to of coarse, but as soon as we were out of sight I grabbed onto his arm and didn't let go. If I had nails, he'd have had marks to prove it. I quivered lightly as I held him, my eyes reflected pain and torment. All I could hear was Tree's voice "Never tell the extremely bad it could cause more harm than good." Problem was, the bad was on ME. Only I saw the premonition. I was torn...and I broke down and looked at Brian. "We need to talk Brian its important. I had 2 premonitions..one we were happily married and soul bonded. The other I..I...I died. I don't know how, but I did. That's a bad part of premonition, you don't know what you'll see, and they are POTENTIAL future's. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm scarred. I have to trust that all will be well..But my premonitions have yet to be wrong, and I have never had a double premonition when one would say the opposite of the other.... well TBC..yes or no? there will be one more part at least. If I get few to no e-mails on this, I will end the story in the next edition. If you want it to go on, I will. If you want to hear more about Nick and Kevin's relationship, lemme know. If I end this, do you want me to write a story about those two together?..either way this is Jon sighning off.