The Broken Hearted
This story is purely fictional. I am not implying that anyone mentioned in this story is gay or that any of the situations arising are real. I have no connections with Westlife or Ronan Keating.
Four
Ronan was dreading his upcoming confrontation with Shane. How would he face him after all that had happened? He had no right to demand an explanation from Shane, he knew the truth, anyway. What good would this do?
That evening...
Kian walked out of the bathroom, heading for Shane's room. As he approached the door, he thought he had the unmistakable sound of crying. He held his breath and waited... there it was again. He opened the door in one swift movement and barged right in
"What's wrong?" he asked rushing over to Shane's crouching body. Shane jerked his head up, his eyes were bloodshot.
"N.. Nothing" he stammered, wiping his eyes recklessly.
"Come on, mate" Kian said, wrapping his arm around Shane's shoulders,
holding him steady "please, tell me what is bothering you" he pleaded.
Shane made an attempt to smile "I can't talk about it Ki, if I could I promise, I would tell you" he tried to re-assure his friend, without much luck
"Shane I'm your best friend, I want to help you"
"Just hold me" Shane whispered.
Kian held him tightly, wrapping both his arms around the trembling body of his friend, rocking him gently. He stroked his fingers through Shane's short black hair. How he wished he could just freeze this moment, sitting here with Shane in his arms. How he wished he could make Shane as happy as he deserves to be.
Ronan let himself in through the front door, it was ajar. He called out, but no one replied. He walked into the lounge, apprehensively. Nicky was sitting in front of the telly, he heard greeted Ronan with a nod and went back to concentrating on the show.
"Where's Shane?" he asked
"Upstairs" Nicky replied
Ronan shifted uncomfortably in the doorway, he wasn't prepared to face Shane, but it was too late now. "Erm.. How is he?" he asked
"Something's bothering him, but he won't say" Nicky looked away from the screen and straight at him. Ronan felt as if Nicky was accusing him, he was being paranoid but it really felt that way. He climbed up the stairs, taking them two at a time, coming to a standstill outside Shane's room. The door was open halfway, he peeped in. Kian had his arms wrapped around Shane, Ronan felt a sharp pang of jealousy as he saw Shane in another man's arms. He felt like turning back the clocks, no matter what the consequence...
"Oh, hey Ro" Kian said, loosening his arms.
Shane looked up, an expression of delight quickly turned to one of bitter resentment. Ronan felt like his heart was being dissected to bits.
Kian stood up "I'll go make us some coffee" he announced, making Shane believe he knew more than he ought to know.
Ronan lingered in the open doorway for a few minutes, awkwardly. Eventually he closed the door and moved closer to Shane, but he was stopped dead in his tracks by Shane's cold voice. "What do you want?" he asked
Ronan just looked at him, trembling inside. Had he made the biggest mistake of his life? Had he been wrong to break it off? But as much as he wanted to believe that there was a future for them, he knew that it could never be. He had made the right choice, the painful one, but definitely the right one.
"Kian asked me to talk to you" Ronan said "I know it won't do any good, but he insisted" his voice was soft and quivering.
Shane stared at him intensely, his bloodshot eyes tearing right through Ronan's wounded heart. "I think you have said more than enough already" he whispered.
Ronan sighed "please don't make this harder than it is" his plea was lost on Shane, who was crying freely again.
"Why not?" he shouted furiously, "Why should this be easy for you? when I am still suffering like this" his hands were shaking violently with anger.
Ronan stood there silently 'if only it was easy for me' he thought 'if only I could stop thinking about you every passing moment'. He cleared his throat "The tour kicks off in a week Shane, you have you pull yourself together"
"I know and I will, I'm not going to let the group down" Shane said "Is that all? have you finished?" he asked bitterly.
No! there was so much more Ronan wanted to say. But he nodded and headed for the door...
"Can I ask you a question?" Shane asked "Was it just the sex.. for you? is that all it ever was?
"No, I loved you more than anything, I still do" Ronan said, with that he left the room, closing the door behind him.
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