Brother 2 Brother By Michael Martell
Chapter Four: Sean
It's been a year since the rape, my rape, and the road to recovery has been one filled with heartache, agony, hatred, pain and now finally acceptance. I guess I should explain acceptance. Acceptance for me means acknowledging the fact of the rape, no longer blaming and being angry with myself and my situation for the rape. Accepting that I survived it and that there is nothing I can 't do if I want. Accepting the fact that it was time to move forward, to stop being afraid of the shadows and start living again. I have to give credit to the group sessions, to Dr. Segars, the brothers in the group and ofcourse, Matthew, who has been a close friend. The one thing that happened that helped me move forward was when my brother, Shane, attended one of the sessions. I have to tell you I was nervous about him being there but I also knew he wanted to support me. It was tough for him to say the least to hear about what happened to me as well as the others and what I had been going through, on my very own. The fear, the shame, the trauma. He heard it all and with each word he heard I could see the pain in his face, heart and soul. When it was all over he stood up and gave me a hug and together we cried like we never had before. It was something we both needed. It was a tough year for the both of us and it was time for us both to let go and let God. The one thing that did feel good was going back to work fulltime. Since the rape I had been working half days and Compu-Tech, my six year employer and one of the largest computer analyst firms in the state, had been very understanding and accomadating. My immediate supervisor, Chip Stevenson is a big, barrel chested southern white man. He was thirty five years old with gray streaked blond hair, who sounded like Andy Taylor from the Andy Griffith show. He knew I was gay, as did most of my co-workers, and he knew how the rape had effected me, it seemed that his daughter was had been raped. Ryan Evans, the asst. division manager was also accommodating and concerned about my well being. Ryan was thirty years old, he stood six foot five in height and was a well muscled 225 lbs with long jet black hair worn in a ponytail. He had an olive complexion which made me wonder if he was mixed with something like Latino, black, asian or arab maybe. Chip and Ryan made sure that nothing happened to my job, which I was damn good...no...great at, Sean Jackson, Computer Specialist and Supervisor. Both Chip and Ryan paid me a visit at home a few weeks after the rape and they both assured me that my job was safe and that I could take all the time that I wanted and needed. Well, it was time to get back to the office. Like I said, let go and let God. My first day back to work there was a sign that read "WE LOVE SEAN! WELCOME BACK!" And in my office were flowers and fruit, a new ergomanic chair and desk When I sat behind my new desk I found a card signed by everyone in the office. It felt so good, I felt so loved. I was going to cry. "Well, I guess you like the desk and chair." I looked up to see Ryan standing in my doorway, his blue eyes twinkling and a big beautiful, white smile. "I love it," I said trying hard to hold back the tears. "I didn't expect all this." "Don't get crazed," Ryan said walking into my office. "Everyone is getting new chairs and desks it's just that we wanted you to get yours first." I smiled and he smiled back. These were the best group of people to work with. I was doing some work in my office, and feeling great, when Darleen, one of the office assistants buzzed me on the intercom to tell me that I had a delivery. I told her to send it in. A few seconds later there was a knock on my door and in walked a delivery man with a bouquet of red roses. I looked at the bouquet and the delivery man, a good looking, young light skinned brotha in his early twenties. The name on his uniform read Mitchell. "You Sean Jackson?" He asked. "Yes I am." I answered. "Are those for me?" "Maybe I read this wrong. I'm looking for a sistah named Sean." I knew where he was going with this. This minimum wage motherfucker was expecting a woman, a sistah and not a man. "You are looking at the only Sean around, man or woman." I replied hotly. An expression crossed over the delivery man's face as he stared at me. It went from puzzlement, annoyance to digust and anger. The same expression that Silk Mitchell had before he raped me. I tried to remain calm but my insides were shaking. I wanted this man out of my office. "You are a smart assed faggot mothafucka!" He snapped. "What the fuck!?" I was not going to be disrespected in my own office. "You heard me you dick suckin' faggot mothafucka! I thought I was delivering these to a real woman and not a faggot!" I stood up from behind my desk. "Get out of my office!" Mitchell, the delivery man, advanced towards me with menace in his eyes. "Make me, FAGGOT!" He snarled. Suddenly I was paralyzed. I couldn't move, I couldn't do a damn thing. Here he was in my face, I could smell his cheap cologne and funky breath and then I looked into his eyes and I saw the same thing I saw in Silk Mitchell's eyes. The next thing I knew I heard a scream. That scream came from me. My door exploded open as Ryan, Chip and Darleen burst in with three other co-workers. They grabbed Mitchell, the delivery man and took him out of the office. Chip and Ryan helped me back to my chair. Chip was demanding to know what the hell had happened. Darleen explained that Mitchell was supposed to be making a delivery to me. "Sean, are you okay?" Ryan said holding and patting my hand out of concern. "What happened?" The fog that I was in lifted and as I looked around my office my head was throbbing. "H--He called me a faggot." I murmured. "HE CALLED YOU WHAT?!" Chip Stevenson became unglued. "DARLEEN WHAT WAS THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S NAME?!" "Mitchell," I mumbled softly. "What?" Chip gasped. He knew the name of the man that raped me. "His name was Mitchell." I repeated. Chip's face was beet red with rage. "Darleen,"he hissed, "Get Speedy Florist on the phone!" Within seconds Chip was on the phone with someone from Speedy Florist. "Speedy Florist! You had a delivery man come to Compu-Tech to make a delivery. Let me tell you what he did? I'm Chip Stevenson and I'm the division manager. This assholes name is Mitchell." My head was throbbing, I couldn't concentrate and I felt like I was going to be sick. Ryan was still holding my hand. "Sean, are you okay?" I just shook my head. "I need to go home." "Okay, is there someone we can call to get you?" Shane was still in New Orleans and I didn't want to bother my friends. I just shook my head. Chip slammed down the telephone. "They said they will handle it but I'm not waiting. Darleen get legal on the phone and send the call to my office." As Darleen ran off to carry out the orders Chip turned back to me. He knelt down and in that caring, Andy Taylor talking to Opie tone he spoke to me. "Sean, I want you to go home but I don't
want you driving home alone." "I'll be fine," I mumbled. My head was killing me. "Sean...son, please let someone drive you home." Darleen buzzed my office and informed him that she had legal on the phone. Chip squeezed my hand, much like a father would and then left. "Sean, I can ride you home." Ryan offered. "No, I'm fine." I answered. "Then at least let me follow you home." Ryan counter offered. Finally I agreed to that just so that everyone's nerves would be relaxed. When I got home I took a shower, took something for my throbbing head and went to bed. The house was very quiet and big without Shane being home. I was now afraid to be home alone. The pounding on the front door woke me up. I sprang up out of bed with my heart racing. I heard the pounding again and I jumped out of the bed, scared to death. I ran into Shane's room and grabbed his baseball bat. Slowly I walked towards the living room to see who was at the front door. It was completely dark outside and I found myself wondering how long I had been asleep. Just as I had got to the front door, I heard another loud knocking sound and this time from the back door. The next thing I knew I was picking up the phone. I began dialing without checking for a dial tone. When I lifted the phone I didn' t hear a phone ringing instead I heard a voice calling my name. "Sean? It's Ryan! Sean...are you okay?" I heard the loud knocking again followed by the sound of someone trying to get in. "Ryan someone's trying to get in my house." "Hold on Sean, I'm not far from your house!" I heard three loud bangs. "Hurry Ryan, Hurry!" I was in tears and I was terrified. All kinds of images were in my head now. I heard the banging again and this time it was coming from my bedroom. Not again. That was all I could think about. Not again. Then I remembered something. I had left my bedroom window opened. Then I heard the sound of someone coming threw the window, landing hard on the floor. I ran to the front door, I heard someone call out my name but I kept on going. I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I screamed as loud as I could just as the door burst open. Ryan was there, he grabbed me and pulled me out on the front porch. I turned in enough time to see Ryan punch the person who had grabbed me. Ryan was punched back and soon there was a fight going on in my living room that spilled out on the porch and that was when I saw who my `attacker' was. "MATTHEW!" I gasped. "RUN!" He shouted as he punched Ryan in the stomach. That was when it dawned on me that Matthew was the one knocking on the door and it must have been him that crawled the through the bedroom window. "Ryan! Matthew! Stop it! Stop it!" I shouted. They stopped fighting and looked at me, both in mid punch. They were panting and bleeding. Matthew's lip was busted and he had a cut under his right eye and Ryan's nose was bleeding and he had a bruise forming on his jaw. This was all a terrible misunderstanding. "Let's go inside so the neighbors won't have anything to talk about." I said. They both followed me inside, glaring at each other. As it turned out, it was Matthew who sent me the roses. He had called the job to see if I had gotten them and that was when Darleen explained to him what had happened. As soon as he was able to he left work to check on me. He had been banging on the door and getting more and more concerned and scared for me. Ryan had been on his way home and decided he wanted to check on me first. That was why he was calling when I picked up the phone to call for help. Each other thought the other was out to hurt me. I explained to them both that I had went to sleep and that I appreciated them coming to check on me. Ryan seemed to understand but Matthew seemed, well pissed. I went to the bathroom to get some bandaids and ointment to patch them up but when I got back Ryan was gone. "Where's Ryan?" I asked. Matthew shrugged. "He said he was fine." "Oh," I said. "Well, let's work on you." Joining him on the sofa. "What exactly happened at work?" Matthew asked. "What do you mean? With the delivery man?" "Yeah. He just came out his neck like that?" Matthew asked. "Yeah, it was unreal." I answered as I tended to his wounds. "Damn!" Matthew cussed, "So what did you do? Did you call the florist?" I shook my head. "Chip did." "Chip?" His face scowled. "Yeah, he's my boss. He was fit to be tied." Matthew grew strangely silent, which was unlike him. "Is everything okay, Matt?" Matthew nodded his head. "When you didn't answer...I got scared." "I'm sorry." I said. "No, I should have called first." Matthew stated. "It was just a misunderstanding but I'm glad that you came." Matthew smiled at me and I smiled back. He reached out and held my hand as he looked into my eyes. "Sean, I have something to say to you." "Yes." "Well, I was thinking that I would like to..." The doorbell rang interrupting which annoyed me to no end. I asked Matthew to hold on while I answered the door. As I looked through the peep hole I saw Ryan with a bouquet of roses in his hands. I opened the door. "You left these at the office. That was another reason I was coming over to see you." He explained. He was smiling. His nose had stopped bleeding but the bruise was getting bigger. "Thank you Ryan." I said and for some reason I gave him a hug. It was just a friendly, thank you for everything hug. I had never hugged him before but he had never saved my life before. When the hug ended Ryan had an odd expression on his face. At first I thought I had over stepped my bounds with the hug but when I turned around there was Matthew standing there looking at me. "Matthew, this is Ryan Evans from work. He was bringing back the roses you sent to me. Ryan this is Matthew Siad Mohammed, he sent me the flowers." "Sean, I have to go." Matthew said abruptly heading for the door. "I'll call you tomorrow." And before I could say a word, he was gone. I felt a little bit confused standing there and Ryan seemed not to know what to say or do. "I guess I'll go and get my bruises taken care of." He turned to go. "Ryan wait a minute." I called out. "Have you eaten?" "No, I'll get something on the way home." "Forget that man. The least I can do is feed you. After all you saved my life." Ryan seemed to think about it and then accepted the offer. Dinner actually wasn't that much. I had some left over meatloaf, I made some macaroni and cheese, string beans and rolls. We ate and talked. I learned that Ryan was single, he had been married but they divorced about three years ago. He had no children and all his family, mother, father, brothers and sisters were still on the West Coast, California. He liked to surf, ski and mountain climb. Ryan was a pretty interesting guy. I had broke out some wine and we talked some more and before we both knew it, it was midnight. "Thanks for dinner, it was great." Ryan said as he stood at the front door. "Thank you, for everything." Ryan grinned and it looked like he was blushing or was it the bruise? "Hey, don't think about it. Oh and I'm sorry I attacked your friend." "It's okay, if I wasn't acting like a big baby..." "baby? For all you knew you were in trouble and after what happened at work I would have thought the same thing." I knew what he was saying was true but I still felt like a scared baby. Ryan left and I began shutting off lights and locking doors and got ready for bed. I called Shane in New Orleans. We talked briefly about the funeral and how he was doing. He didn't seem to want to talk much which was good because neither did I. After washing my face I went to bed, it had been a long and hard day and I wanted to put it behind me. The sound of my bedroom door opening woke me up. I could feel someone standing there looking at me in my darkened room. I didn't feel scared for some reason and I don't know why, I mean there was a stranger in my house, in my bedroom. I started to turn over when I I felt someone sit beside me on the bed and then they laid down next to me. I felt a hand gently touch my bare back sending electric bolts tingling through me that went down to my toes. The touch became a gentle caress that felt so damn good. It had been so long since a man had touched me, any part of me and it felt good, it felt great. I felt the covers lift up and whoever it was crawled under those covers with me. I felt a warm, hard naked body press against mine. Hands, definitely manly hands wrapped around my body and hugged and held me tight. Tears formed in my eyes and those wonderfully strong hands caressed my body touching my chest...oooh yes. Touching my arms...mmmm. Touching my nipples...mercy. Touching my stomach, hips and thighs, oooh don't stop. My body trembled excitedly, deliciously. To have someone touching you and caressing you after such a long time, it was amazing. By body responded, it was alive with action and activity. Then those same same hands went between my thighs then slid around to my ass. They squeezed my ass cheeks. I moaned and as I felt kisses on the back of my neck. I sighed, I responded, my ass began to move against the throbbing dick that was erect and poking me. "MMMM....OOOOh yeah...that feels good." He moaned into my ear. His voice was vaguely familiar but I didn't care I just wanted him and I wanted him to want me just as bad. I rolled onto my stomach giving him the opportunity to do what he wanted to do. I felt his body roll over and cover mine. I spread my legs and thighs as wide as I could get them. I felt his body slowly move as his stiff dick entered me oh so nicely. "OOOOOH," I moaned at the wonderful feel of a dick in my ass. I felt him start to move his hips, slowly at first and gradually faster and faster. The dick felt so good. That dick felt so damn good. He slowly began to move his hips, thrusting and driving his marvelously hard dick deep inside of me. I moaned and I couldn't help myself. "OOOOH! AHHHHH!" I moaned as he worked his dick. "Damn!" he said, "That ass feels good." With each powerful thrust he drove his dick deep inside me, my own erection was pressed between myself and my mattress. I wanted to let go but I wanted it to last forever. His thrusts picked up in speed and power. His breathing and my breathing became fast and labored. I buried my face deep into my pillow. I moaned and cried as he took me to pleasure and ectasy. "Oh...Oh God...I'm...I'm gonna c...cum!" He breath into my ear as he thrusted into me harder and harder. "YES! YES!...Give it to me!" I cried out. He delivered three powerful thrusts and as he exploded hot cum into my ass I
exploded as well. He screamed out and then afterwards his body collapsed on top of me and it just felt so good. After what seemed like hours he pulled out of me and began walking to the door. I turned around, I wanted to see him but the darkness in my room made it hard to see him plus his back was to me. I had to see his face. I wanted to see his face. He stopped and turned around slowly. And as his face came into view I gasped. I awoke with a start with sunlight streaming into my bedroom. I looked at my clock which read 7:55am. I had an hour to get ready for work. As I rolled on my back I felt myself. I had a powerful morning erection as well the remains of my own cum from yet another wet dream, which I had been having a lot of. The dream, like the others were so vivid that it seemed real and just like the others I could remember everything except for the face of my wet dream lover. To be continued. The author would love to hear from you. You can email him at wyzman34@aol.com (mailto:wyzman34@aol.com) or visit: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/brothers_like_us/ (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/brothers_like_us/) Chapter 5 is coming soon.