Brothers Like Us

BROTHERS LIKE US By Lawrence Michael Martell

Chapter 21

I hate funerals, I may have mentioned this before but it bears repeating, I hate funerals. Where did my hatred for funerals come from? It was when my aunt Liza Mae died; I was seven years old at the time. Aunt Liza Mae had been sick with cancer of the liver for as long as I could remember and when ever we went to visit grandma we always visited her sister, my aunt Liza Mae. During those times she didn't look much better than when she died. Now you have to understand that my family is one of those old African American southern families that went from being enslaved to repressed within the sharecropper system to oppressed in the 'Jim Crow' system. The elder members of my family were filled with and are still filled with those old beliefs and superstitions and ideas about death and funerals and the dead. One of those beliefs was that funerals, burials to be exact, were to be done at night. Now, I don't remember why, all I do know is that I hated being in the church and especially the cemetery at night. On this night it was winter and had been raining earlier that evening and the last place I wanted to be was in a dark and scary church cemetery. As I sat there all hugged up on my parents, listening to Pastor Johnson, I saw my Uncle John Henry standing next to him. Now, why is that so interesting? Well, Uncle John Henry, who was Aunt Liza Mae's husband, had been dead for two years. But Uncle John was not alone because with him was Auntie Etheline, Uncle Edgar and grandma's husband, Grandpa Manford. They were all there standing next to Pastor, looking down at the casket that Aunt Liza Mae was laying in. As I watched, stunned and surprised but not scared at that time, Uncle John Henry reached his hand into the casket and right before my eyes he pulled up Aunt Liza Mae. I wanted to scream, gasp, say something, alert someone of what was going on but I could say a word or utter a sound. Aunt Liza Mae looked good. She looked healthy and happy, they all did.

Aunt Liza Mae looked around at everyone assembled for her funeral but when she came to me she smiled as if she knew I could see her. They lowered her body into the ground while Aunt Liza Mae and the rest of my deceased family walked away and disappeared. It wasn't until two weeks later that I told grandma what I saw. She hugged me and told me that they had come to take Aunt Liza Mae home and that I was a very special little child to be able to see such a thing. I would see it one more time, when my grandmother died. This time Uncle John Henry and Aunt Liza Mae came as well as Grandpa Manford and grandma and grandpa's son, Uncle Junior. They had come to take grandma home and though I knew she was going to be with family and with God in heaven, I wanted her to stay. I had not been to a funeral since then, until now.

Jermaine and I walked into the church, the services were being held at Trinity Baptist Church, which was one of the largest and wealthiest churches in the city, which was headed by Hampton Dyson, Jr, the father of State Senator Hampton Dyson, III. I'm not a member of Trinity nor any other church for that matter but Shane and Sean were and I was surprised to learn that Jermaine was a member as well. He had never really talked about church, religion nor our beliefs and that was when I realized that as much as I knew about Jermaine there was still much more.

We were met by the ushers, who handed us programs and asked if we were friends or family. I noticed that Shane and Sean were sitting amongst the Du Bois family at the front of the church. I had wanted to let them know we were here but neither one looked back in our direction. I did spot Mo-Mo sitting a few rows down from where we were standing and decided that we would sit with him. Of course Mo-Mo was not alone, sitting with him was Sonny, the professional wrestler that I met at the hospital, and I got the distinct feeling that they were more than just friends. We took seats next to Mo-Mo and Sonny and after re-introductions were made and handshakes exchanged we set back to watch the service begin.

The service began with praying and singing. They were about thirty to forty people gathered for the Homecoming Service of Victor Du Bois. There were friends and family of Victor's. Sean told me that some more of Victor's family had arrived for the funeral and a number of Shane's friends had come to support him. I couldn't help but wonder how many people would be at my funeral when my time comes. Okay, that was a morbid thought but I couldn't help it, it was on my mind. I know my family would be there as well as Shane, Sean, Mo-Mo and Andre, who was not at home when I left to come to the funeral and it didn't seem that he had been home at all. What about Jermaine? If we were still together I'm sure he would be there and my friends and family would be there to support and love him as we were here for Shane. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a beautiful, angelic voice singing and when I looked I saw that Victor's sister, Vivienne, was singing a soulful, heart-felt "How Great Thou Are". There was no music just her beautiful voice and I was mesmerized. It touched me as well as chilled me. This was grandma's favorite song and it was played at her funeral as well. I could hear grandma singing and humming that song as I listened to Vivienne sing it. Then something happened. Right before my eyes a shower of pure white light bathed her. I looked to see if anyone else had seen it but everyone seemed to see nothing. I looked again and Vivienne was not alone anymore and I knew those people were family of Victor's coming to take him home. As Vivienne sang, a beautiful woman reached into Victor's casket and pulled him out. It was just like at Aunt Liza Mae and Grandma's funerals. Victor stood amongst them. They hugged and then he looked at his sister singing and this beautiful smile crossed his face as he went to her and kissed her cheek. She never stopped singing but you could see that it affected her as tears streamed down her cheeks. Then Victor went to his brother Vincent, touching him with his hands and Vincent seemed to sob a bit, he then went to Momma V and as she sat there watching her daughter, Victor leaned over and hugged Momma V. The next thing I knew Momma V was rocking and trembling and crying but she didn't shout out, she didn't make a scene she was just in quite dignified mourning of her child. Then Victor went to Shane and he rested his hands on Shane's. He looked into his eyes. He then kissed his forehead, his cheek and then his lips and after that Victor rejoined the 'others' and they all disappeared. Vivienne finished her song just as they left and Momma V cried out for her son, who had departed this life for something and someplace better.

The minister took the podium and began to preach a sermon about redemption, salvation, the power of God's love and the importance of family and friends. He preached about how we were here to do God's work and to give him the glory and how we leave behind a legacy of love through the people in our lives and those who love us and who we love. As he went on I was deep in though and consideration of my own life and how blessed I truly was and the legacy of love that I would be leaving behind. The words touched me in places that I had forgotten about and dared not to visit in what seemed like forever. Here I was a young, reasonably successful African American gay male. I had a family that loved and accepted me for who I am and not for what I am. I had friends who were there for me no matter what and for whom I was also there for. We had gone through so much and still we were here and strong and solid in our friendship and brotherhood. I thought about Sean and his rape and after all he had gone through and still had to go through I knew that he would be okay. There would be changes for him and in him but he would be fine. Then I thought of Mo-Mo, who was going through so much with his son and his personal life and yet here he was for our friend and with him he had another, who I knew was the right man for him. I knew, and I don't know how, but I knew that Jamal, the son he loved so much, would be okay. Then there was Shane, who would be mourning the loss of a true love and despite my feelings for and about Victor, they were truly in love. How did I know? Because I was in love with a wonderful man...deeply and completely...yes, it seemed to happen so fast and the way it began didn't seem to indicate that it would be like this and yet, it was. Here I was sitting next to a man that I peeped in the locker room of the gym and then met up with later at Da City and we clicked like we were made to be together. As I looked at Jermaine tears filled my eyes and my heart sang out to the heavens thanking them for this blessing and all the others that had been given to me. Jermaine held my hand, not caring that anyone may look and see and I felt my body tremble from the tremendous love that I felt for and from this wonderful man. He turned and I looked into his beautiful eyes and mouthed the words, I Love You. He smiled and mouthed the same words back to me. Tears streamed down my face as I looked up towards the heavens where I knew Grandma, Jesus and God were looking down and I said. I Love You.

Mohammed had been engrossed in the service and the message being preached and as he listened he felt a warm feeling come over him. He felt a presence; it was strong, deep and powerful. In his ear he heard a voice tell him that everything was going to be okay. That what was happening was meant to happen and that God had a greater plan. Suddenly he felt a faint vibration on his hip. He grabbed his cell phone and looked at the number. It was Jamal's hospital room. He had left Teena with Jamal so that he and Sonny could come to the funeral. His heart stopped. Sonny looked ay Mohammed as if he knew something was wrong. Mohammed motioned that he was going outside to make a phone call. As he got up to leave, Sonny followed.

Mohammed dialed the number. The phone rang twice before it was picked up by Teena, who was crying.

"Teena? Teena? What's wrong?" Mohammed asked trying to remain calm.

"OH GOD! Mohammed..." Teena cried.

"Teena!? Teena! What's going on? What's happening...Is it Jamal?"

"Yes...Mohammed...Jamal is..."

"OH GOD...OH BLESSED ALLAH!" Mohammed felt his legs weaken and Sonny was next to him to support him. His son was gone and his life was never going to be the same without Jamal. All the time he had missed with his son, being on the road with football and wrestling. All those years lost that could never be brought back, when he was too busy to take time out for his son. Jamal had deserved better, this was not how it was supposed to go. It wasn't right for a parent to out live their child. For the first time in his life he felt like he was going to faint.

"Mohammed...Jamal is...."

"OH GOD...no...No..."

"Yes...Jamal is AWAKE!"

Mohammed paused. He looked at the phone and then at Sonny and then he spoke into the phone.

"What did you say?" Mohammed asked.

Teena was laughing. "Yes...you heard me. Jamal is awake."

Mohammed hugged Sonny. "Jamal is awake!"

"Thank God!" Sonny said as he held Mohammed.

"When did he wake up?" Mohammed asked.

There was a pause and then she answered. "About ten minutes ago."

Mohammed felt a chill. He closed his eyes and thanked God/Allah for giving him back his son. For allowing him more years of his beautiful baby boy's life.

"Teena..." Mohammed was crying with joy. "How is he?"

"Mohammed, our baby is fine and...He's asking for you."

Mohammed wiped at his eyes. "Can I talk to him?"

There was another pause and then there was a familiar but weak voice speaking to him.

"Daddy?"

Daddy? Jamal had not called him daddy in years. Mohammed felt tears rolling down his face.

"Hello baby." Mohammed said his voice breaking. "How you feeling?"

"I have a headache daddy, but I'm okay. Daddy?"

"Yes son?"

"I love you."

Mohammed sobbed. "I love you too, son." Sonny used his handkerchief to wipe Mohammed's face.

"Mohammed?" Teena was on the phone again, "The doctor's are in and checking on Jamal."

"I'll..." Mohammed looked at Sonny. "We'll be right over."

"We'll be here." She said. "Mohammed?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," She said.

"For what?"

"For being my son's father. He is truly blessed to have you in his life."

Mohammed smiled. "Thank you and he's blessed to have you in his life as well."

"He will be once I get myself straight and I'm gonna get me straight, I promise you that."

"I know you will and he and I will be there for you, all you have to do is ask."

"I know but this is something I have to do by myself. Do you understand?"

"I do and Teena, I'm proud of you."

"Thank you Mohammed. Jamal and I will see you when you get here." Teena hung up the phone just as Jermaine and Eric came out of the church. He told them the news and asked them to tell Shane and Sean and to explain why they had to leave. After hugging each other and saying good bye Sonny and Mohammed left.

The funeral for Victor Du Bois ended in true "Nawlins' style as a Dixie Land Jazz band played "When the Saints Go Marching In." After the services and the burial the family and friends gathered in the dining hall where they would eat and talk and celebrate the home-going. The family was seated at the center table which included Shane. Sean didn't want to sit with them; he felt that Shane needed to be with Victor's family...his family. Eric and Jermaine had told Sean about Jamal and his improved condition. Sean thanked God that everything turned out okay for Mohammed and his family. This day was filled with various emotional ups and downs. During the service as he listened to the singing and the pastor's words about the importance of family and friends and God's love, he thought back to his rape and the type of person he was before it happened and the changes within himself, all that seemed to happen in a short period of time. His days of just going after any man he met, his days of getting his 'freak on' were gone. He wanted something lasting and something strong and meaningful. Like what Eric and Jermaine seemed to have or what Shane and Victor had. He wanted that one true love that would be there for him and protect and love him for being just himself. But, when he was ready, which wasn't right now, would there be that special person out there for him to find? Or would he be just wishing on a false dream and fantasy? Those thoughts were still in his head as he went into the church dining hall. He watched as Shane, sitting between Momma V and Vincent along with the rest of the family. Having Victor's family there was really making a difference. They helped to provide him with the support that he needed during this trying time for him. It was as if they gave him the strength he needed and he provided them with the connection that they wanted and desired to have about the life of their beloved Victor. As much as he questioned Shane and Victor's relationship, Sean realized that what Shane and Victor had was real and true and would have been everlasting had not...Sean's thoughts were interrupted when he glanced up and saw Detective Julien Linton standing in the threshold of the dining hall. He wondered what he was doing here and as he rose to his feet he was going to find out why.

Julien knew it was a mistake to come to the funeral but he couldn't resist coming. He came at the end of the service when the pastor was speaking when he walked in. He had passed two men who seemed to be in a hurry to leave. He took a seat and listened to the pastor he looked around and down at the family of Victor DuBois and when he found them he also saw that Shane and Sean Jackson was sitting with them. When the service ended he had stepped out and went to his car. He had got inside the car and was about to start the engine when he realized that he couldn't leave yet and he knew the reason why, he had to speak to Victor DuBois' family. He had to explain to them what happened and hopefully they would understand while cleansing himself of his own guilt. The guilt that he had felt since the entire incident went down. He knew his partner had coldly murdered Victor DuBois but he had nothing to prove that and without proof there was nothing he could do about it, yet, and Cecil Montgomery was going to prison. Julien was determined that he was going to talk with Victor's family but once he got there he couldn't move. It was like he was struck motionless. He wondered what in the hell was he doing. These people were grieving the loss of a loved one at the hands of the police and regardless of anything it was the police who killed Victor and he was a representation of the police. He decided that there was another time and place that he could do this he turned to leave and that was when he felt a hand on his shoulders and an accusatory voice demanding.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

When Julien turned around he was facing Sean Jackson's disapproving and demanding face. His tone was hard and cold and unforgiving.

"Actually..."Julien said clearing his throat. "I was just leaving."

"Well great. Let me show you out." Sean said as he escorted the detective out of the dining hall. "You know, you have some nerve coming here."

"Perhaps." Julien responded.

"Or maybe you came here to arrest someone here for Victor's murder instead of your partner."

Julien visibly flinched at Sean's words but if Sean noticed it he said nothing.

"Mr. Jackson, I just came to pay my respects to the family and to your brother." Julien explained.

"Really?" Sean snapped. "Well, I really don't think anyone here gives a fuck about your respects nor your words."

Julien stopped. "Mr. Jackson I know what you're feeling."

"You don't know shit, detective!" Sean snapped harshly, his voice raising. "Do you know what's going on in there? There are people mourning the loss of a loved one, murdered by the police. Murdered by your partner! So you can't tell me one damn thing about knowing what I'm feeling because if you knew you would not be here!"

"I just came to express my condolences." Julien replied.

"No one here wants your fucking condolences. We don't want any damn thing from you!"

"I want to hear what he has to say."

Sean and Julien turned to see Shane standing there. He looked at Det. Linton and nodded. "Detective. Sean what's going on out here?"

"Nothing Shane," Sean said calming himself down. "Det. Linton here is just leaving. Aren't you?"

Julien looked passed Sean and spoke to Shane. "No, actually I am here to express my condolences to you and Victor's family, if I may."

"You MAY NOT!" Sean snapped.

Shane turned to his brother. "Sean, check yourself." Shane faced Det. Linton. "Thank you detective. I appreciate it and I'm sure Victor's family would appreciate it as well."

"Okay!" Sean snapped, "You said what you had to say now go away!"

Shane turned on Sean again. "Sean Jackson I want you to stop this."

"WHAT?" Sean couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"He is here to say something to me and the family and I think we all should hear him out." Shane explained.

"Shane, you can't be serious."

Shane looked Sean deep in his eyes. "Yes, I am very serious. Detective Linton if you would go up to the sanctuary hall I will bring up Victor's family."

Julien nodded. "Okay, I will and thank you."

Shane extended his hand to Det. Linton. "Thank you. I appreciate you coming here today. We'll be right up."

Sean stared daggers at Julien Linton's retreating back.

Momma V, Vincent, Vivienne, Shane and Sean sat in the pews facing Det. Julien Linton and they listened as he expressed his condolences about what had happened. As he spoke to them something happened and the next thing he knew he was crying and apologizing and wishing he could have done something to stop what had happened. Momma V was the first to rise and hug the detective. Shane followed suit followed by Vivienne. Only Vincent and Sean refused to move and watched the spectacle that was taking place before them.

Annoyed Sean left the sanctuary and when he did he noticed the black Cadillac SUV that Victor always drove and rode in. He stopped and stared as the door opened and a huge hulk of a man stepped out. He recognized him as Victor's friend Errol. Errol walked towards him clad all in black.

"Sup?" Errol said.

"Errol? Right?"

"Yeah, I...I couldn't come to the service...I just couldn't see my boy..."

"I understand." Sean said.

"I just wanted to see Shane and speak to him and the family." Errol said.

Sean pointed back to the church. "They're in there. Will you excuse me?"

Errol nodded. "Sure." He watched Sean walk away and then he entered the church but when he saw that detective being hugged and talking to Victor's family he stepped back out of the church without saying a word to anyone. He walked back to the SUV and pulled out a brown paper bag and then he walked over to the fresh new grave of his homey. He pulled out the Hennessey bottle and opened it and poured some on the grave.

"This one is for you my homey." Errol said and then he took a healthy gulp. He wiped at the tears stinging his eyes and knelt down at the grave. "Hey my man. I'm sorry I couldn't be here but I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't say goodbye and I'm not going to. Not yet. Not until I make the motherfucker who did this pay and I promise you homey...I'm gonna make him wish he was fuckin' dead." Errol reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his revolver with the eight inch barrel. "He's a dead motherfucker walking." Errol replaced his revolver and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed a saved number.

"Bund, this is E!"

"Sup E?"

"You got your eyes open."

"Yeah...they open and looking. Whaddup?"

"Close `em"

"Aight."

Errol ended the call. He had to be careful. Bund knew what he meant and what he was talking about. Killing a cop...even a cop like Montgomery could bring down the heat from hell and that was where he was going to send him. Straight to hell.

"This one is all for you, homey. All for you." Errol walked back to his SUV. He climbed inside and started it up. He popped in a CD and as he drove away with Boyz II Men singing `It's So Hard to say goodbye to yesterday' as tears streamed down his face.

Jermaine and I returned to his place. We stopped and got some Chinese food, took showers and then sat in the living room and ate. We didn't speak but being together said volumes. When we finished Jermaine took our dishes into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher and then he went into the bedroom and when he came back he had a photo album with him. He opened it and pointed to a cute little boy about ten, who looked like Jermaine.

"This is my son."

I looked at the picture of the smiling little boy and each picture after. Pictures of a smiling Jermaine with his son. Jermaine and his son at an amusement park. After we looked in the photo album Jermaine pulled me into his arms. He looked into my eyes and I could feel my skin tingling with electricity.

"Eric, I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too." I answered.

"I'm in love with you as well."

"I'm in love with you too." I answered.

Jermaine smiled. "Good, that is very important to know."

"I'm glad you think that." I answered.

"Well...I mean after all it's important that we been in love, especially since," Jermaine got to his feet and went back to the back and when he came back he had one hand behind his back.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Suddenly Jermaine dropped to his knees. He removed his hand from his back producing a black felt ring box. Brothers, let me tell you...I started shaking.

"Eric, I want to marry you." Jermaine said smiling as he opened the ring box, exposing the most dazzling ring I had ever seen before. "Will you marry me?"

I was speechless. Here I was being proposed to by this wonderful man. This man that came into my life and like a bulldozer he rolled over me swept me off my feet and swept me away. I could not believe any of this was happening to me.

"Oh Jermaine." I finally said.

"Oh Jermaine is close but Yes Jermaine would be better."

I giggled. Married. Yeah, I know about the issue with gays marrying and shit like that and unless we run off to Hawaii or Vermont the marriage probably wouldn't be recognized...legally that is. But is not a marriage a commitment that two people make to each other that love each other and want to share their life and love and to come together as a family? That was what we would have. We...we...DAMN! WE! I looked at Jermaine and smiled trying to fight the tears from coming to my eyes.

"Yes Jermaine. I will marry you." I said. Jermaine's eyes erupted in tears and we held each other. We kissed and hugged and kissed more. It was wonderful, it was great. We took each other's hands and we walked into the bedroom where we stood and had a lip smacking, tongue tingling, major kiss down session. Soon we were slowly removing each other's clothes and as we stood there naked, Jermaine turned on his Stereo-CD player and we stood there naked as the day we were born slow dancing to the local radio station's `Love Light at Night'. Luther was crooning a tune as we danced close, our bodies touching. I felt his hard dick pressed against mind and I felt myself getting crazy horny. This was all intoxicatingly romantic. We kissed again, long and deep and then I went down to my knees, put my palms on his thighs and opened wide as I took his hard dick in my mouth. Jermaine began to tremble and moan as I went to work. I knew how to work his dick and how he liked it worked.

"Ahhhh shit...Yeah baby...Yeah...suck that shit!" Jermaine moaned and I had to oblige. I sucked his dick long and hard until finally Jermaine pulled me up and laid me down on the bed. He covered my body with his and began to pepper my body with kisses before he took my dick in his mouth. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and my legs began to shake and tremble. As his tongue swirled around my dick I couldn't help but think that soon this would be all mine exclusively.

"Jesus..." I moaned. This was a great blow job probably because now it was being done by the man I had agreed to spend and share my life and love with. He continued sucking my dick while his hand moved down and around my balls which he gently massaged and tickled which drove me crazy and he knew it. I spread my legs wider not wanting him to stop and to give him plenty of room.

"Ahhh..." I moaned. It felt so damn good. Then I felt his finger teasing my asshole, tickling the tiny hairs there but not going in. It wasn't time yet but I was ready for it. God was I ready. I wanted to feel Jermaine deep inside of me and I was never going to let him go. The next thing I knew was seeing Jermaine looking into my eyes and I into his. He said he loved me and I repeated it and then as he leaned over to kiss me, I felt his finger gently into my ass.

"Unnnhh..." I said, letting the hissing sound come out of my mouth while my tongue eased out like a sex starved snake. The finger was soon replaced by his condom covered dick and he began to work my ass as I arched and threw my body into his. We were a tangle of sweaty arms and legs and bodies when TLC's Red Light Special' began to play. When Dru Hill hit it my legs were in the air and Jermaine was working overtime. The pace went into slow groove mode when Brother Barry White hit us with Practice What You Preach.' And brothers, I was preaching.

"Ohhh...GOD...That's so good.' I moaned as Jermaine thrusted deeper inside me. I wrapped my legs around him and I could feel that soon we would be at the point of no return. Boyz II Men came on with `I'll Make Love To You' and as they sang it Jermaine and I rocked steady and slow with them both trying to make it to the end of the song and as we did, as Boyz II Men reached their final chorus, so did we. We moaned and groaned and screamed as we both came at the same time. It was incredible. I could feel his hot cum exploding into his condom and when I felt that my dick exploded hot cum all over my belly and chest.

"AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!" We both screamed and when it was over and we were left a twitching, shivering mass of arms, legs and body we wrapped our arms around each other and drifted off to sleep with Anita Baker singing `Giving you the Best that I got.' And I knew that with Jermaine, I was going to be doing just that. Giving him the best that I got.

Chapter 22 Coming soon.

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