Buddy -- Part II By: Holloway Copyright 2005 Holloway
This is a work of fiction with an adult theme. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the story: Frontrnrusa@netscape.net
Darin was discharged from the rehabilitation hospital a little more than a week later. He told me he'd be back around to see me he made me swear to keep our pact. Darin was dressed in civvies; a pair of tan slacks and a golf shirt; I couldn't tell his legs weren't real.
He bent down, shook my hand then put his hand on my shoulder "Semper Fi Marine."
I couldn't look him in the eyes for once, so I nodded my head, I knew I'd miss him he made me feel comfortable and I was use to him, we were friends. He turned and walked out the glass double doors almost a month to the day had passed. I figured all along that once he got out of this place he'd begin to feel different about his life. He was a great guy, young and handsome besides I knew he had a lot going on, he'd just lost his wife and son and I couldn't fault him, actually I was glad for him he deserved another chance at happiness.
My surgeries and continuous treatments were pushing me to the edge and I was ready to let go at any time. I'm not a quitter never have been but I made a promise to Buddy and I miss him every fucking minute of the day. I feel like my life started with Buddy and ended when I lost him. I wasn't going to do anything yet I had to keep my word to Darin. However, I knew in the near future I would end up nothing more than another stiff waiting to be buried. I kept up a good outward appearance for the world. My therapy was coming along nicely. I could walk just like everyone else and as long as I didn't wear shorts a stranger would be hard pressed to tell my leg was fake. The burn scars traveling over 60% of my body were a different matter. Three skin grafts later and the scars were still there, would always be there, the skin wasn't as taut when I moved and that made it easier for me to bend and reach on that side. I had two more operations according to the plastic surgeon.
My next surgery was scheduled for Friday at 2:30pm the procedure would take three hours. I thought to myself what's the use of all this. I'm 21 years old, without a leg and a badly burned upper body. I was aware I was feeling sorry for myself a luxury I had never taken before now but at times it would hit me real hard that I was all alone once again. My body was fucked up I wasn't going to find another guy to care about me and not pity me looking like this. Buddy's death had left me here to go on alone, I needed him more everyday and each day was harder to get through, I knew death was calling me and I'm not afraid.
I seldom had visitors, the Chaplain came around weekly and occasionally one of the guys from the platoon would be in town and would drop by but other than those few visits I never saw anyone. The majority of my time was spent reading, physical therapy and daydreaming about the life I had wanted. Friday as I was being prepped for surgery I heard a knock at my door, I looked around and Darin stood there smiling at me, I had to do a double take he looked different, his hair had grown out a little, he looked younger and very handsome, I smiled at him and quickly put those thoughts out of my mind. I told him about the surgery, he apologized for being away so long. He sat down and told me about having to clean out the house, giving away things that had belonged to his wife and son, he said it was hard but he had to do it. He said now his house was ready for the future once again. He said he had all the time in the world and he'd be here when I woke up.
I put my hand out and he shook it. "Darin thanks for caring enough to come back."
He smiled at me, "I'm not leaving you we made a promise."
As I was wheeled out, Darin remained seated in a chair I looked at him his eyes were on me, "Kyle you know if you come back from surgery looking younger they'll have to put you in diapers."
I laughed, "thanks a lot Marine." My mind went a million miles an hour trying to write something into everything Darin had said or done.
I heard him laugh as they pushed me down the hallway.
Before I was put under I prayed and asked God not to let me screw up my friendship with Darin by trying to make it into something more. When I finally woke it was early evening, my throat was dry Darin heard me wake and gently lifted my head giving me a sip of cold water. He took a washcloth and wiped my lips with cool water then lay be back on the bed. His fingers smoothed my hair and he talked to me calmly.
"Kyle how you feeling?"
I looked at him trying to focus, "Darin it hurts like a motherfucker right now I just want it all over with, there isn't any reason for me to keep going through this pain when in the end I'm going to die." I knew it was the medication making me feel weepy I think when I started to cry it scared the crap out of Daren.
He touched the side of my face until I calmed down. Darin put his hand on my forehead "no you're not going to die neither of us are at least not for a long time to come and as soon as you're released your coming home. It took me a while to make peace with myself and I've done that. You have a room all your own, somehow we'll try to make new lives if we can."
"I can't stand this fucking pain, not anymore help me please I hurt so much, I want to die please let me die."
Darin used the call button in a minute or less a nurse walked in Darin told the nurse I was in a lot of pain. She wasn't very nice to Darin asking him who he thought he was, he looked at her, we're family understand? She nodded and gave me an injection I woke the following morning. As I looked around Darin was sound asleep in the chair next to my bed. I reached out and touched the side of his face gently he opened his eyes and smiled.
"Good morning sport."
"Morning. You didn't have to sleep here. I'm really sorry about last night, can you forgive me?"
He stood up and yawned, "I know but I needed to be here for me, is that okay with you?"
I nodded my head.
Darin looked around. "Starting today I'm going to begin taking some of your stuff home that way when you're released in a month or so we won't have to hire a moving company." Darin boxed things up asking my permission about everything he touched. When he finished he smiled, "that wasn't so bad."
My eyes never left his face, "Darin why are you doing all of this for me?"
He looked at me his expression never changed, "because I need to and you need it too."
Neither of us said another word. Before chow Darin said goodnight and went home. I lay there feeling sorry for myself and embarrassed for making Darin upset. I called his number I knew he wasn't home yet. I left a message on the answering machine, "Darin I'm sorry for being a fuck, you're my best friend. Darin I have to warn you about me, the nicer you are to me the more I need you. Please don't be so nice to me, I'm lonely and I have a way of turning your kindness into something more, a lot more, I just wanted you to know. I hope you'll come see me again. Bye." As soon as I hung up the phone I felt foolish and then I reminded myself I was still a Marine and I didn't lie not even about my feelings.
Darin showed up the following afternoon, he smiled when he walked in. "I got your message last night. Let me say this to you only once. We are all we have, and you are all I have period." He sat down and asked me about my leg like nothing had happened between us. The nurse came in to check my bandages and Darin watched as she uncovered the skin graft areas, the scars extended from my thigh almost to my shoulders, he nodded his head, "Now I understand why you were in so much pain."
My eyes watched his face, "Darin do you think I'm ugly now that I've been all burned up."
Darin smiled at me, "Oh fishing for compliments, well let me just say this, you are definitely handsome enough to turn heads."
"Thank you." I handed him a letter I had received from the Marines.
He read it then looked at me. "Kyle this is a determination of your disability from the Veteran's Administration. You've been awarded a 90 percent disability due to the loss of your leg and the severe burns. You'll receive that money tax-free. The other 10 percent will come from you military retirement you're going to be retired just like I was in about two weeks."
I looked at him and my eyes filled with tears, Darin's eyes never left my face. I felt totally helpless I was terrified because being a Marine was all I knew.
Darin waited to say what was on his mind. "I know you're afraid, all I can say is that I'm going to be around so you won't be by yourself, I'll help you through this the way you helped me get through it."
It was my turn to look at him, my voice was breaking, "I didn't do anything to help make it easier for you."
Darin laughed, "What you did may have saved my life, you loved and cared about me, I know you still do."
That ripped it, I broke down and cried, Darin wasn't much older than I was he stood next to my bed bent down and put his arms around me, "this is a hard period right now, you're not alone you have my word of honor." I nodded my head against his shoulder. He sat back down handing me a piece of paper towel to wipe my face with. I thought for a minute when I looked at him that his eyes glistened. He looked out the window and I couldn't see his face, when he turned around he looked the way he always did.
We watched television for a while then Darin stood up, "I'll fly and get burgers if you buy?"
He had me grinning at him, "Hand me my wallet."
He winked and walked out yelling out, "you owe me I'll be back in a couple of hours to collect."
When he left I turned over and cried once again, this time it was loneliness, I missed Buddy so much and I knew that I was falling in love with Darin, that wasn't something either of us needed at this time, we had too many other things going on emotionally.
He was back by 5pm with two bags of Wendy's and a bag from the bookstore. Darin pulled his chair up to the bed and the table over my leg. He dumped the bags out, I opened everything and laid it out and we ate and talked. I began to read and without realizing it Darin had fallen asleep his head resting on the bed. I gently moved my fingers through his hair and caressed the side of his face he was beautiful. I moved my hand as he woke, it was almost eight when Darin stood up, he looked at me, "I like being here with you, it makes life make sense again. I got you a present it's a book I thought maybe it would take your mind off things and help you to relax for the next week or so until you come home."
I nodded my head, "Darin thank you for everything but you can't pay for everything let me help."
He shook his head "I have enough money. If I ever need to borrow some from you I'll ask will that be all right?"
After dinner I went to shake his hand, when I put my hand out he grabbed it, he quickly hugged me, said goodnight and left.
Inside the bag was a book called, 'Triangle of Light' the main characters were two gay men. I found it hard to put down. Darin showed up in the morning, I smiled at him. "Thank you for the book it does help a lot, I don't feel so lonely. That doesn't mean you don't have to come here everyday."
A chuckle escaped Darin's lips, "try and stop me."
We both ended up laughing.
The day of my retirement from the Marines was the hardest day of my life and the most difficult thing I ever had to do. Darin came to the hospital early. He had my uniform already cleaned and ready to go. He helped me dress, I watched him kneel down in front of me and pull my pants up, it was at that moment that I knew I could love again, I wanted to love Darin but^Å
He whistled, "Damn boy you look great, you ready?"
"Darin thank you for everything, I mean it."
He nodded his head, "if it gets tough take a deep breath and look at me, I'll help you get through it." We walked down the hallway, sitting inside were several Marine Officer and Enlisted they stood when I entered. After a short speech and the presentation of the Purple Heart, I was officially retired at the age of 20 and 11 months. I held myself together hurrying back to my hospital room and the minute I was behind a closed door I crumpled to the floor the fear was overtaking me and I couldn't control it.
Darin pushed the door open. He sat on the floor next to me. "Come here Kyle" I scooted over and he pulled me in his arms, his hand was on the back of my neck and my tears were soaking his shirt. "You will be all right I'm not going to let you go through this alone."
My heart felt like it was breaking, "Darin other than Buddy I never had anyone to love me, I don't want to live my life alone, I'm afraid, not only have I lost Buddy but now I'm no longer in the Marines."
Darin held me tighter, "Remember we will always be Marines, always."
I held onto Darin for dear life, my whole world was changing too quickly and I wasn't prepared. When I was ready we stood up and I changed my uniform. I followed Darin to the car and we drove to the house. I'd never seen it before all I knew was that we had a place to live. When we pulled up I liked the house it was older and built of brick, inside had hardwood floors. With 2 bedrooms and one bath. There was a two-car garage in the back and a pool. Darin smiled at me as I followed him from room to room. He showed me his room. I saw the picture of his wife and son and picked it up. He watched me, "Darin they loved you very much." He nodded.
My room was across from his, it was nice Darin had hung my things up and made it feel like my room. I had mail on my dresser. I started to look through it and Darin stopped me, "after lunch."
We fixed a lunch of sandwiches and chips as soon as we finished Darin brought the mail from my room and we went through it. Darin was careful how he said things because he knew I would be upset, "Kyle, Buddy left you his SGLI, the government sent you a check, you'll have to deposit it, you've also got a check for all your back pay." I nodded my head. The remainder was paperwork. Darin sat there and filled it out as I gave him the information. When he wrote down my birthday he stopped and smiled at me, "you'll be twenty one end of this month. That's funny."
"Why," I asked.
"Because I'll be 27 the day after, we'll have to celebrate this year."
"I nodded my head in agreement."
The next two days consisted of going to the bank and handling all those issues, I had more money than I'd ever thought about. Darin handled everything and I put him down as my next of kin. While we were out he took me shopping for clothes before returning home. He made me promise to wear a pair of shorts tonight I promised. When I walked in the kitchen to help with dinner he stopped and looked at me. "You look great."
After dinner I told Darin I had to see where they had buried Buddy. He looked at me and got up from the table, when he returned he held a letter. He read the section and grave number. He said Buddy had been laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors at my request. "I thought it would be what you wanted so I took care of everything."
My eyes filled with tears, "that is what Buddy would have wanted too. I'm going to Washington next week, I have to say goodbye to Buddy."
"I understand" was all he said.
Saturday morning we boarded a flight for Washington. Darin insisted on going saying he wasn't leaving me by myself. We arrived before noon, rented a car and drove to our hotel, once we had changed clothes we drove to Arlington. Darin and I walked slowly up hills, past the tomb of the Unknowns and finally we stopped before Buddy's grave. I knelt down and prayed telling him how much I missed and loved him. I asked him if he would mind if I fell in love again and told him I had always loved him with all my heart and I would miss him forever. When I looked up Darin had tears falling from his eyes, I stood next to him, my hand on his shoulder, "thank you for coming here with me."
Slowly we turned and walked down near the amphitheatre. When we left the cemetery we visited Lincoln's Memorial and then the Vietnam Memorial. As we were walking in the mall a young Marine walked up to us and said the Marines were always looking for men. Darin looked at the young Marine, "thanks but we were both recently retired from the Marines." Darin lifted his pant leg the young Marines face turned red, "I'm sorry sir I meant no disrespect." Darin shook his hand and then I did to, "none taken."
We were worn out when we got back to our hotel. We had one king size bed the hotel apologized but stated that was the only room available during the Cherry Blossom Festival. We said we'd survive. I stripped and went to the shower, when I returned Darin had the air conditioning on and it felt wonderful. I fell back on the bed wearing only my boxers and closed my eyes. When I woke up Darin lay next to me asleep. I reached out and caressed the side of his face, when I put my fingers in his hair I felt my erection stir. Darin turned on his side toward me, "what now."
I looked in his eyes, "Darin I'm sorry for all of this but I love you, please don't hate me."
He nodded his head, "I feel the same about you. Up until I was married I had messed around with guys my own age, when I got married it ended. Then you and I went through all the things we went through and I felt myself feeling things for you I'd not felt in years and what I learned was I needed you more than anything in the world, I'd like to explore my feelings, our feeling and see where they lead us. Promise me that you'll never do anything to hurt yourself and that you'll be faithful, I need to know that because losing you would be the end of our pact and I'd literally die." Darin took my face in between his hands and gently kissed me I knew he could feel my heart beating a million miles an hour. As his fingers moved into my hair I cried out he made my entire body feel electric. He caressed my body, his fingers gentle but strong. His lips kissing the side of my face and when his fingers encircled my erection I cried out.
I asked Darin, what he felt at that moment, he smiled, "Kyle I love you and this is a part of you, it excites me and at the same time it makes me want to pull you inside my skin so I can protect you forever."
Darin started to move down my body and I stopped him, I kissed his lips moving down his chest and over his stomach. When my lips tasted his erection I needed him so much. As my lips enclosed him he cried out, his fingers moved feverishly in my hair and he cried out telling me he couldn't last, he came in my mouth, he tasted wonderful, he moaned again and I came in my underwear without even touching myself. I let him slip from my mouth when he became soft then I crawled up next to him. He looked in my eyes and began to kiss me. I fell asleep on his shoulder. I woke up late and felt Darin exploring, I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair, I told him how sexy it felt, he said good. He covered my erection with his mouth, as he moved around he began to moan and take more of me when I came he gagged once then continued to suck me until I had nothing left. In the morning we lay in bed together, Darin's head rested on my shoulder and I found myself kissing the top of his head and telling him how much he meant in my life. He tilted his head back and kissed me on the lips, "I want to live again, with you in my life."
I kissed him, "so do I."
Darin kissed every inch of my body. He kissed the scars on my abdomen and chest, "everything about you is important to me, understand."
Nodding my head I repeated his words, "Darin you belong to me, you always will, I already know I love you with all my heart, please don't let anything happen to you."
Darin nodded, "Kyle you're already my heart, I'll always be beside you always."