Burrhead

This is gay erotica, my friend. If that's not what you're looking for, don't read it.

Dear Donny,

I guess you think I fell off the face of the earth. I kind of wish I had. I really did mean to come back to see you after I left with Mike. I don't know what got into him; he was acting crazier than I've never seen him before. I didn't know he had taken your money. I promise I had nothing to do with that. I didn't find out about it until we were in the car on the way home, and I guess you remember Mike wasn't in much of a mood for me to argue with him. So I let it go. I thought I'd be able to take care of it later, but things got bad.

My dad caught Mike and me in my bed without our clothes on when he got home from work that night. We were asleep - or passed out - but I guess it was pretty easy to tell what we'd been up to. Dad about had a cow right there on the spot. He clocked me hard enough to put me out for a while, so I don't really know everything that happened. I haven't been able to talk to Mike - or to anybody.

It was last Thursday when all this happened, and by Friday afternoon Dad was driving me to my aunt and uncle's here in the middle of Butthole, USA. They think Mike is a bad influence on me (like I couldn't figure out how to be queer on my own), so they are sending me to live far from temptation with my cousin, who's a Real Boy. That's right, my cousin Richard, the one who taught me everything I knew about sex until you and I started learning on our own. I feel like I'm in jail (and Dad threatened to put Mike and me in jail if we ever talk to each other again).

They say I'm going to have to go to school here this year. I can't believe that, or I don't want to believe it, and so I'm hoping they'll cool down and let me come home. I'm really lonesome here. Richard is pretty cool, but he's two years older and he has his own friends. He might want to mess around with me, but I know he doesn't want me to hang out with him and his school buddies. I just miss everybody, like you, from home.

I can't call anybody long distance, but I don't think my aunt and uncle will go through my mail unless they see Mike's name on it. Will you write to me?

I'm really sorry about what happened with Mike at your house. Really.

Reed

.......

I'm three hours from home, grounded big time. I've written to Lena and Donny, but I can't write to Mike...and Mike is the one I want to know about most. No, I didn't tell Lena why I got sent here. I just said I'd had a major fall-out with my folks and we'd decided I would move here for a while. No, she doesn't know I've ever done it with Mike or Donny or anybody. She thinks I'm a virgin, like she is. Does she love me? I don't know. Do I love her? I'm nuts about her. But what's making me really crazy? You got it: Mike. All I can think about is him crying when he came and then the look in his eyes when my dad was yelling at us. It's like he got hit when he was in the worst place to deal with it. I want to see that big, fuck-the-world grin of his more than anything.

.......

Dear Reed,

I don't know what to say. I've been so mad at you for not coming back that all I've been doing was dreaming about ways to get back at you. Finding out that you really got hurt makes everything different. Getting caught the way you did - especially with a dad like yours - is scarier than anything I can imagine. The idea that I was feeling sorry for myself when I was safe, while you were getting hurt and taken away, makes me feel like a conceited fool. I'm sorry. I don't want you to be gone.

I wish we could erase that whole day from our lives. I could tell you were doing your best to handle Mike. You did the right thing, and I don't care about the money. I know how much you like him, and I see why you think he's hot. But I - this is embarrassing - I had a hard time watching you with him. I wanted it to be just you and me. I know I don't have any right to say that. I know we're not even best friends, but it's how I felt.

You can't call me, but can I call you? Or will you call me collect? My mom will never notice. I don't think she even sees the phone bills; somebody else pays them.

Are you going to be home to visit anytime soon? I really miss you.

Love,

Donny

.......

Richard is everywhere. I remember following him around like a puppy, horny out of my mind over him last summer, but now he just seems to take up more space than he deserves. He has weights in the back yard, and he works out every day. It's making him huge. At the rate he's going, he's going to become this one oversized muscle with bad skin. It's not like he's mean to me; in fact, he's nice to me. But when he walks into a room, I can smell a kind of musk rolling off him, and it feels like everybody's attention gets completely drawn to him. I know it's not his fault. And if I wasn't so fucked up, I bet I'd be back into his pants.

Thank god I have a room of my own. It's a guest room with frilly curtains, but at least it's a place I can be by myself. Toady is Saturday, and I've been reading all afternoon. Richard is mowing the lawn, wearing cutoffs and boots, sweating to beat the band. I think he's proud of his body. He deserves to be. He's okay; why do I hate him right now?

.......

Dear Donny,

I miss you too. I don't know when I'll be able to come home to visit, but you can count on me telling you. I wish you knew how much I'd like to be piled up in your bed together, or just doing any of the things we usually do.

Thanks for offering to let me call collect. I'll do that when I can figure out a time to get away with it.

I've been working out some with my cousin, riding horses (for fun and to help out), and eating a ton of barbecue. There's a really cool hayloft where I like to go read in the late afternoon. There are No Cool People here. I'm so lonesome.

Reed

.......

"Reed?"

"Hey, Rich. What's up?"

"Nothin. What are you doin up here?"

"Reading." What does it look like I'm doing?

"It's hot up here," he mumbles. He's so fucking big and clumsy! Beads of sweat are breaking out on his forehead.

"I know. I like it."

"Man, you read a lot.... " You could count to ten in this pause. "Why don't you take off your shirt," he asks, taking off his.

"I'm okay."

"You sure don't seem okay. You used to like hanging out with me. A lot, if I remember."

"I still like hanging out with you. You're my favorite cousin." This is not exactly true, but it's true enough. Besides, I might have to live with him for the next year. I smile like I mean it.

He's sheepish, can't decide whether to grin back or not. "Yeah, but we don't hang out the way we did last summer."

How do I decide? I don't really want to do it with Richard, but I remember exactly what his dick smells and tastes like. It's a memory I've beaten-off to about a zillion times.

"I know," I say. "I've been in a bad place."

"Wouldn't take much to figure that out."

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault." I'm pissed at the world. Fuck off.

"How could it be my fault? It doesn't matter, anyway, but I don't see why you won't let me help make it better. You and I had a pretty good time last summer." He moves closer to me. His eyes look serious, but I can see the devil behind them. Richard must outweigh me by 25 pounds, and he's not shy about taking what he wants.

"I liked what we did. I'm just...I'm just fucked up right now."

"I can make you feel better." His hand is on my shoulder. He's massaging the back of my neck. The sweat's glistening on his face, his shoulders. I can smell him. I want to be left alone, but he's a beautiful animal under that lousy skin. I don't even really like him right now. I doubt he likes me. I'm getting a hardon.

"No, Rich."

"Please." His eyes hold mine. He's really good at looking like a lost boy. Without breaking our gaze, he pulls my shirt up; then he bends down, and licks my left nipple. Oh!

"Mmmmm," he purrs, licking in circles. One more thing I never thought boys might do to boys.

"Rich."

"Shut up," he says with complete calm, pushing me back onto a hay bale. (Don't ever fuck on hay; you'll itch for a month.) His mouth is covering mine. There's his tongue. Goddamn he's a lot of boy! How the fuck did he figure out about guys kissing guys? He's dripping sweat onto me. Wait...his legs are wet too; those are his legs in between mine.

"Rich!"

"Shut up I said." He tugs my shirt over my head and yanks down my shorts. Faster than you can say "holy shit" he puts my dick in his mouth. Oh fuck...that feels good. Oh fuck. Oh fuck it all! We're completely slick and wet, and it feels so goddamned amazing to have my dick in somebody's mouth. Our clothes are gone; his body is sliding over mine like we're covered with grease; the hay is pricking my back, hurting under his weight. I don't give a damn.

Without warning, he grabs my ankles and lifts my legs over his shoulders. Somehow he jams the head of his dick against my ass like it's guided by a magnet, like he's done this before.

"Hey wait!"

"I've been waiting since last summer, Reedie boy."

"Rich. Cool it, man. I don't wanna get fucked."

"Sure you do! I let you fuck me, remember?"

"Yeah, and you said it hurt. And your dick's bigger than mine. And besides, I just DON'T WANNA GET FUCKED!"

"Sure you do, Reed." He's pushing the head of his dick harder against my asshole. It's slippery with sweat and his precum, but there's no way he's getting in. Now he's leaning over me so I'm bent double, my thighs against my chest. He's squeezing my shoulders between his elbows, clasping his hands above my head. I'm more or less contained by him, and he doesn't stop pushing, but I'm clenching like hell to keep him out. I couldn't feel a lot more trapped. He's not showing signs of backing off.

"Rich, don't fuck me. Please don't fuck me." I'm looking right into his eyes from inches away. They're opaque.

"You didn't wanna suck cock the first time either, but you sure got into it," he reminds me. It's true. Even now, as scared as I am, some part of me thinks he's hot. The second I let down my guard over that idea he rams through my ass, covering my mouth with his hand so nobody can hear me yell. There is no promised moment when everything turns to ecstasy; there is just a tree trunk being driven up my ass again and again, and it hurts more than anything has ever hurt. After a while I start to get numb, like I'm floating out of my body. When I stop yelling, Rich takes his hand away. He's looking into my eyes really hard, but he's not looking at me. I think he's concentrating to keep from cumming. All of a sudden I see my face though his eyes, and it looks like Donny's face when Mike was about to fuck him. And I remember that there was no question I would protect Donny. So why am I not protecting myself?

I buck as hard as I can, slamming my legs against Richard's shoulders, shooting my hips up toward his chest. It's enough to throw him off balance and to get his dick out of my ass. He falls backward, and before he can figure out what's happened, I kick the shit out of the side of his head. "FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!" I kick him again, this time in the ribs, but he's so sweaty and hard my foot glides off without any real impact. I have an image, like a movie scene, of me kicking him to death. It's enough to stop me as I'm about to swing toward him again.

......

Dear Donny,

I think I learned something today - something you already know. I started to understand you, maybe for the first time ever. I saw your face at the exact moment Mike said he wanted to fuck you, when I could tell it was the worst thing he could be saying. I saw your face when I fuck you and you light up with this expression that makes you even handsomer than you are. I saw myself not wanting to know what you've been telling me. It's like you said: I had no idea.

You're special, Donny. I'm sorry I haven't been acting like I knew that. I want to see you so much.

Reed

.....

If you like it or if you don't, tell me why. reed@dreamwriter.us