Disclaimer: This is all fiction, the characters only exist in my head.
Warning: As usual, no sex. ;) and a good imagination is needed. :D oh and IT'S NOT FINISH YET! :b sorry.
Summary: [If all good things would always come to an end, logic would state that all bad things would come to an end too.]
People to thank I need to thank Raz for the mails, I left out her name in the previous chapter. I'm sorry, it's the age thing you see. ;b I'd like to thank Achane, first for the encouraging letters, then for the humorous stuff you said, and finally for the story you've wrote. [Don't say you love me] so Thank you very much for being you. :) [Is the story ready?] I'd like to thank Jay, [starts to bow] thank you, if it's not for your story [deceiving secrets] Busta would never had came out from under the bed. Thank you. ;) I got a new reader named Colleen, :) I'm flattered. :D frankly, I would still be procrastinating till Colleen wrote. It was like an alarm clock to remind me to write. :) so thanks Colleen. :D [is the story ready?]
Person to appologise to Dear RoyalBSB, Sorry, for this very late acknowledgement. I didn't check my N'sync_Online mails anymore thus didn't know that you've sent a letter to me. As always, I'm flattered and honored that others like my story, I appologise for not thanking you soon. Sorry. and also an appology to all those that was not mentioned. i'm sorry.
People I'm grateful for. Ton, Jon, Jam, Clive and Keith. They are all writers who had written touching pieces of story...though like me they procratinate a lot [hint! Hint!] And before I end, to Matt, :) I'm surprise that you still remembered a silly fan like me. :D thank you.
This story was written after inspiration and help from Jordan. [He wrote Jordan's confession part] :D So a big thank you to you. :D
Ok ok, I'm done now. Don't throw anymore tomatoes at me. ;b
Busta 13:
The room seems to be suspended in animation when Lance uttered those words. Lance? Killed someone? Lance? The guy that prays for world peace killed someone? The guy that would stop the Limo just to save some stray cat from getting abuse killed someone?
After thinking for a long moment I concluded. "Nah! You didn't kill anyone, it's your eyesight again." I reminded him, patting his hands at the same time.
Lance's answer was in the form of the sad look on his face as he turned to me and hide his face from the others by huggin me to his chest.
'Yeah, yeah, Busta the human pillow. How degrading.' I sighed then barked at JC, "Excuse me, your pillow needs hugging, shouldn't YOU be doing the job?"
JC, being not blond, smartly took my advice and hugged Lance's body from behind.
But Jim 'the rock' Ellison came to the rescue of us two human pillows by asking, "Can you explain what had happened?"
"Can we do this some other time?" snapped JC, letting Lance go from his comforting hug.
"Woah! Who took your bone?" I asked in surprise. Frankly, I don't understand why humans are so emotional. They cry too much, or they yell at each other too much. 'Don't you guys have other things better to do...like being happy?'
"JC," started my master.
"Some other time!" JC hissed at my master.
"[Grrrrr]" I growled my disapproval but was prevented from fulfilling any of my punishment towards JC as I was held on tightly by Lance who is now clutching himself as if in pain.
"If we don't do this now..." my master tried to explain his logic.
"Chris!" warns JC, this time flames seems to be shooting out of his eyes. [AN: JC very angry]
"Guys?" said hairball in his beta-dog position. "Calm down, it's not necessary to be all Alpha in this discussion."
"The DISCUSSION, is over." Snapped JC.
"The DISCUSSION haven't begun yet!" snapped Chris, "How long do we have to drag this!"
"please," pleaded the small voice that's hugging me.
"As long as it takes!" said JC, now letting Lance go and waving his fist in front of me Master's face.
"stop it," pleaded the small voice again.
"Um, humans?" I barked.
"The longer you drag it, the later the wounds would heal!" snapped me master, leaning his chest forward and almost growling.
"stop screaming," the voice whispers again.
"This is how you do it," I said, then at the top of my voice I barked loudly. "CUCUMBER IS CRYING!! SO STOP SHOUTING!!!"
"Busta!" they snapped at me, both faces red from those anger, then quickly lose those redness when they saw Lance's trembling form.
"James," said JC in a softer tone as he leans down to hug his lover's trembling body.
"Lance?" asked me master in concern as he leans in to touch the cucumber's arm.
"Don't fight," the cucumber said in a begging tone, with one hand holding carrot's hands and the other holding me Master's hands as he repeated. "Don't fight."
"we're not fighting," assured me master quickly.
"Yeah honey, we're not fighting...we're just...um" he turned his eyes to me Master's eyes, begging for an excuse for their primitive behavior.
"Having a discussion at a very loud voice." I suggested.
My master nods his head in a thinking mode before saying, "We're just having a discussion at a very loud voice." And his face broke to a wide grin making Lance chuckle.
'That's my Master for you!' I beamed proudly. 'He's the smartest human I've ever met and he can always do the most important thing in the world. To make another human smile.' "You're the best master." I barked happily as I wagged my tail. [AN: Author makes gagging sound]
"We're done for today." Said James suddenly, closing his notebook and placing his pen back. Then taking Lance's hands, his eyes warmed to those green-blue eyes in-front of his blue ones. "Rest now, I'll go back and do my job and find those people that hurt you and that boy we found."
Lance looked at Jim and smiled gratefully, "Thank you."
"Jim?" Blair made a motion to follow him.
"Stay," said Jim, reminding me of me Master when he said the words to me. And obidiently, hairball did as told and that got him a smile and a nod of appreciation before he left.
The air was again free of noises after Jim left, I waited for a moment before filling up the place with a bark. Which, as usual, got some response from them.
"So...um, where's the others?" asked Blair.
"great move." I complimented. It's important, now, to ask safe questions so as not to trigger any more outburst from the childrens in this room.
"Joey and Justin is out making news so that Lance's news will not get out of this room." Replied JC, his hands rubbing Lance's back, soothing him.
"Making news?" asked Blair, further supplimenting my 'more hair therefore less brain' theory.
"Making news," started me Master, always the patient one. "Joey is out drinking himself silly and showing up in all the parties and pubs he could find, while Justin is out walking around with Britney."
Blair nods his head thougtfully, "I understand. With the news following them, no one would be disturbing us...but what's the news for Joey? I mean, what's the big deal about being in pubs and parties?"
JC shook his head, "Joey is there so that when they need a comment on Justin he could shook his head and say, 'no comment'" JC drool at the last word, mimiking Joey when he's not in a good mood. That got a small giggle from Lance's tired worried face.
"There, there. See, doesn't it feel better to be smiling then crying all the time." I said as I pat Lance's legs, "So don't worry so much, just be happy."
Lance smile at my attention and gently stroke my body, making me purr in delight. Then looking up at his boyfriend he asked, "Anyone called Johnny yet?"
"Um..." JC said, lining his lips, raising his eyebrows and looking at me Master for help.
"hmm..." said me Master helpfully.
"Nah, they've got better things to do. Like help you recover from this." I helped out, hoping to ease their guilt.
But it didn't help them at all, as shown by the frowns appearing on Lance's forehead. "JC! Does Johnny know what's happening at all?"
"Remember the day we decided to drive down to Chris' place?" started JC nervously, "Well...I kinda...forget to tell him where we would be."
"What! Josh," scolded Lance, "I told you to inform him. He's having a tough time looking out for us now, it's not nice to give him more problems."
"I'll tell him tonight." Said JC quickly, hoping to end the lecture.
"Joshua, go call him now. He needs to know this...most importantly he needs to know how to handle my parents when they ask where I've been." Said Lance, now looking very much like a tomato from all his fustration.
"Johnny's with his family now. They're at their holiday resort." Said me Master then pausing and looking at the both of them before explaining. "So you can't actually speed dial for him."
Lance sigh and shook his head then say, "His number is in my organizer which is at the..."
"Right side of your bag, the one with the green zipper." We finished the words for him, making him blush this time with embarrasement and we laughing at him.
"You're just so damn cute." Said JC as he kisses his beloved cucumber to the point where his toes curl up. Then releasing him he said, "I know you're not gonna give up until I call Johnny, so you stay put with Chris and I'll be right back after I explain stuffs."
"I'll go with you." Said me Master, "You don't know the area well, and it's my car." Then holding up his hands to prevent further protest, "Don't worry, Blair's here and so is Busta, he's safe." Then in an insisting manner he dragged JC out of the room. "Come on JC, the longer we drag this, the later it would be for you to come back."
"Don't pull me." Protested JC as his figure left the room full of humans chuckling at him.
At this time, a nurse came in and announced that it's time for Lance to take his needles. Blair excused himself and encouraged Lance to sleep while promising that he would be here when Lance woke up. Me being the small dog I am, napped shortly after Lance's heartbeat slowed down to sleeping form....
"Lance?" called out a soft soothing voice. "It's not meal time yet," I mumbled and grumbled and turned and snored. "They ran out of hot coco, so I got you some chicken soup instead." Continued the voice. "It's ok, thank you Blair." Said the the cucumber with his deep booming voice. After some long pauses where I finally settled my brain to sleep mode they decided to talk. [sigh] the life of a dog is tough. "Aren't you going to ask anything at all?" started cucumber. I open one of my lazy eyes and see hairball gave him a lazy and relaxed grin. "Do you have anything to say?" asked hairball instead. I grumbled and mumbled again, then waited for Lance to say something, and almost regreated the wish for it cos' his words was so bizzar. "Jordan is not a bad person..." he said, twirling the plastic spoon in his bowl. Blair nods his head slowly trying to understand the implication of the words. "Of course not." I barked, "He's a crazy person, not a bad person." I corrected him. Being deprived of my sleep I can be very sarcastic or nasty depending on the person beside me...No wait, I'm sarcastic and nasty all the time. :D "I mean, he's crazy I can give him that. But...he's not a bad person. He didn't hurt me or try anything funny...he...he actually cared about me..." continued Lance. "Excuse me? Halo! He almost killed us with that stun in the box. Don't you remember?" I protested, but was calmed down by the big cucumber hand on my cubby little head. [mumble] "Well, as long as you remembered." "Tell me about him." Said Blair, "What did you guys talk about when we couldn't find you." Lance looked to Blair's sincer eyes and gave him a weak smile. As he contined to stroke my head he begun his story. "I was very scared of him...He was nuts. In his mind he said I knew him and that I've protected him...he said I was the reason he's alive...I don't know what to say to that, I only knew that this is the guy that tried to kill Josh and it's all because of me." "Was that the reason why you left with him?" interrupted Blair. "Shuu, no talking." I scolded Blair and that got a smile from Lance. Lance nods his head, "That was the reason why I left with him...I suggested that we got married and all that stuffs...He was angry with Josh and wanted to kill him...I couldn't let him hurt my Joshua...I had to go with him." "Which was very brave of you, but also very stupid cos' you would have gotten hurt." Said Blair slowly and carefully so that he doesn't look like he's going to hurt Lance. Lance shook his head, "No, you don't understand. I can't let him hurt Josh. He's more important to me than my own life. I can't risk that." "Ok ok," I said and licked his hands, "It's ok Lancy, you don't have to look so red. We understand. Right hairball!" "Hey," started Blair as he got out of his seat and hugged Lance, "Relaxed, I know what you mean." "I...No Josh...No life...I..." his hands felt cold on my fur as his body trembled with his words. "I understand," said Blair patting his back and slowly calming Lance down. "It's ok...I do understand...I wouldn't suggest it again...It's ok." He repeated it over and over again till Lance's body stopped trembling and his hands stop hurting itself from all the clutching. When Blair finally release Lance from his hug, the cucumber now look more like a cucumber than the tomato he had become. "Yeah, anyone who sees both of you would understand." I explained as I nuzzle his hands and licked it. Blair sat back on his seat and smiled at Lance, "Anyone who had seen the both of you together would know that you're meant for each other." Lance gave a weak smile then say, "Well...Jordan didn't like the idea...he didn't like the idea at all..." "Wanna talk about it?" asked Blair, carefully, again. "Jordan...when we were on our way to the church he said a lot of things to me...I asked him...how did we met and...and about his life..." "What did he say?" asked Blair. Lance looked at Blair's encouraging eyes and allowed his mind to wander into the recent past. ~~~~~~~~~ [The story] We've been traviling for the past 3 hours in darkness, when I finally awaken it was near dawn. If it wasn't for the company, I would smiled and said halo to the beautiful sight before me, instead I wondered if it would be the last dawn I see... "Comfortable?" asked the person that held my freedom in his hands. "Yeah," I replied in cheerfulness that I know not of. 'Josh,' I reminded myself and gave him a small smile. Which he gave me back. Truthfully, he's not bad looking. With his boyish charm, cupid-bow lips, deep brown eyes and button nose, he could give Justin a run for his money. The only problem, I guess, is he's nuts. "Tell me about yourself." I said, then quickly added, "so that I could remember." Jordan gave me a smile that lits up his face as he began. "During my highschool days I'm some kind of a popular jock." Looking at his huge muscular body I hazard a guess, "Football?" Jordan grin and nods his head stupidly, almost fooling me to think that he's sane. "Yeah, I was a quaterback, and a damn good one...didn't do too bad in my studies either..." Jordan's eyes dazed away for a moment before he continued about his past, " I was pretty popular in school... I mean, the high school quarterback, good looking, dated the head cheerleader got good grades..." "Y-you dated a girl?" I asked, stupified by this declaration. [Reader please take note that Lance never attended Highschool before thus was never pressured by society to date.] Jordan just laughed. "Yeah, I used to date girls in high school, I had to..." There was silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Everything was going great for me....it was almost perfect..." "Almost?" I questioned warily, the glazed look on his face worried me. He sighed. "Things change." I wanted to ask Jordan about it, but the expression on his face told me not to push him. He'd tell me when he was ready. It was weird... I know he was crazy and all, but when we were alone just talking, he was- - he was almost normal. ~~~~~~ [The interruption] Busta interrupts the story to snort and make protesting remark about Jordan being normal. "I don't think Busta likes him too much." Said Blair with a chuckle as he stroke Busta to a more calming emotion. "I don't think so either." Said Lance with an equally amused smile. "[Woof! Woof! Woof!] [Grumble! Mumble!]" said Busta as he frowns at the obviously much more simple minded humans before him. ~~~~~~~~ [Back to the story] It was quite awhile before Jordan broke the quiet tension he had created. "I've always known I liked guys you know... no matter how hard I tried to like girls and be normal, I knew." He said. The pain in his voice spoke volumes, I felt so sorry for him right then. I completely understood how he was feeling, in a weird way I felt close to him. [Busta rolls eyes in disdain] "Like I said I was dating the head cheerleader, a very nice girl named Sarah. We had been going out for months but it was really no more than a friendship between us. Lately I knew she could tell things were just not working out. Everything hit the fan one day when she caught me checking out one of the guys on the swim team, we were at a swim meet and I was totally getting a hard on for this guy." He hung his head somewhat still focusing on the road, his eyes never leaving it. "She was shocked at first, she asked me what I was looking at, I tried to lie but she knew me too well. Sarah asked me why I was checking out a guy and I had no idea what to tell her. I tried to deny it again but she just got angrier. She asked me if I was bi and I said no. Then she asked me if I was gay. I couldn't say anything." As he sat there recounting the tale from his past I could see a single tear roll down his cheek. "I never knew a person so sweet and kind could be so cold and cruel. In retrospect I guess it was just the pain talking. It was at that moment that she knew she was never anything more than a friend to me. I guess I really hurt her. She started screaming at me, yelling obscenities and saying she wanted nothing to do with me. More specifically she wanted nothing to do with a cocksucking, fudgepacking, faggot mother fucker *sigh* I had never in my life been so scared." "I wasn't afraid of her exactly..." he started to explain, "but of everyone else. Once she started yelling I realized it wouldn't be long before we drew a crowd and the entire school knew about it." Jordan gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He clenched his teeth and continued. "I sure was right about that one." He spat out. "The second she walked away I was confronted with a fist to the face, shortly followed by a few more to my chest and stomach. "We don't like fags around here." They were saying. I curled into a fetal position and just took the blows to ashamed to defend myself. I had always thought that because I was popular it meant I had a lot of friends, the next day at school I found out who my real friends were... no one." By this point in the story I think I was crying more than he was. I couldn't believe how awful some people can be. ~~~~~~~~~ [Interruption of story again] Lance got a far away look in his eyes and Blair placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, silently urging him to continue. He nodded his head solemnly. Busta frown in confusion to the cruelty that humans. "[Woof! Woof! Woof!]" (Translated to : "I don't get it, you're of the same species right? So why do you guys like to hit each other so much?") "Despite the situation, at that moment I wasn't scared of him anymore. I just wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay." Started Lance, explaining while fiddling his fingers. "Did you?" Blair asked. "No." Lance said quietly before resuming his story. Like I said, I wanted to, but I didn't. I just told him I was sorry. Jordan tried to smile and looked over at me quickly. I could tell that he was a bit embarrassed to be crying in front of me. ~~~~~~~~~` [Back to regular program] He wiped his face with his sleeve and tried to keep going without sounding so emotional. "So anyway, a week had gone by and still the only people who would talk to me were those that had to. Even then I could hear the obscenities they muttered under their breaths. I was afraid to go out and even quit football because the other guys were still taking every opportunity they could to beat on me." He laughed bitterly. "Ya know, I went from being a popular, athletic, honor roll student to being a lonely, pathetic, high school drop out in less than a month? MY parents thought I was on drugs..." He clenched the wheel again, "When they found out the real reason they wished they would be so lucky." He turned to face me, "Can you believe that? They'd rather believe that their son was on drugs than a homosexual?" ~~~~~~~~ [Interruption time by Busta] "Jordan looked so pained, so vulnerable. At that point of moment I couldn't really feel nothing but sadness and sympathey for him." Said Lance with his sad face, looking very much like a mother. "ok ok, I agree that it's a very sad story and all. But does this give him to right to hurt me? No! does this give him the right to take you away from JC? No! does this give him the right to want to kill someone? No! thus in conclusion, he's anything BUT vulnerable." I patiently tries to explain to him. Blair reach out and took Lance's hands into his and said, "But he has no right to hurt you." Lance look to his wise looking friend and nods his head, whispering, "I know." Blair nods encouragingly before saying, "And then what happen?" ~~~~~~~~~~ [Regular story] "Suffice it to say it wasn't long before my parents kicked me out. I went through a really bad time there for a while, I was ready to kill myself but you helped me out of it. You saved my life." With that he put his hand on mine and for the first time since I met him I didn't mind. Though I was utterly confused by the words he had said, thus I asked, "I helped you?" Jordan looked at me weirdly then say, "Yes you did...didn't you remember any of this? It's the most important thing in our relationship, all this communication...are you still thinking of that other guy!" I fumbled for a reply but tried to sound confident, "I know but remind me. I like to be here for you baby." Then waving my hand, "There is no other guy." And gave him my megawatt smile. He just smiled again. "Okay." I was just happy he bought it. "I was really gonna kill myself that night but then I heard the most wonderful music, I don't know why but something about it made me feel better. The radio had just played GMHS and I was just drawn to it. It gave me hope. I ran out and bought your CD that night, it became my salvation." At this moment, I was stunned. I've heard fan stories before but Jordan's words really touched me. I mean, we literally stopped him from killing himself. Our song, our music was the pulling factor that prevented him from taking his life. There's nothing as gratifing as that so I told him so. He didn't seem to like the fact that I said we, he put more emphasis on me than he did the other guys. "Yeah, YOU really saved my life. And then later on when we met again from the music, it was like a miracle, you rescued me again." At that point he recounted the whole story of how we first met, became friends, and then lovers... it was quite a tale. It reminded me how insane Jordan really was. Lance looked oddly sad. "So he really did believe you two were in love?" Blair questioned. "Yup. That's how I know he would have never hurt me. In the end he died saving my life." Lance started crying again. ####################################################################### ok, that's the end of that chapter. Gees, I didn't realize it would be that long and difficult. Anywas, I belive that some of you would be very pissed of by the interruption part. Well the reason is because I don't like sad stories. So the interruption is to lessen the impact of all the sadness in the stories. Anyways, that's the end for now. Please mail me to comment or curse. :) ciao and take care. Next part will be the funeral. A short part with an appropriate song. oh and ps: the replies to the mails would be late cos' i'm going to HK. :D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So Long as we love, we serve. So long as we are loved by others, I would almost say we are indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~