Please don't read if you are offended by gay sex. The usual disclaimer applies. By the way, the "deer incident" really happened to me and my roommate while we were driving in Quebec. Well... Except for what happens after impact... :-) -- May
CHAPTER THREE
I spy ... We're all in an interconnected suite and I was comin' to see if K was ever going to show up to do homework with me. I'm sitting on the floor in the dark, watching through the barely opened door. Hey, it gets my mind off algebra. I'm stressed about school. I've missed so much this year and it's really hard to keep up on the road. We're getting back to Orlando with like a month before finals ... that is gonna be brutal. Me and Kaos always try to study together since we're the only ones still in school. I'm a sophomore and K is in 8th grade. I guess B-Rok already introduced us pranksters to you, but who knows what he said about us. Rok kinda only pays attention to himself.
I guess a lot of people would see me and say I'm looking for attention and trying to be weird. I'm not, I'm just me. I'm open to anything, even though I'm also shy at the same time. Don't judge a book by its cover is all I'm trying to say. I guess I pretend to be more self-confident than I really am. Doesn't everybody though? Howie and Rok act like they think they're the shit, but I bet they're insecure too. I don't know, I think about stuff a lot, how people relate to each other. Now K and Train's relationship, I don't think it's right. I have way more in common with Kaos than Kevin does. Like writing poetry, doing artwork. Kevin is an OK guy but he's way too old for K and he acts like he owns him. It's amazing he even lets us study together. He tries to keep K from being alone with Jabba, but that I can understand. Jabba, well, that's Lou, our Big Poppa and boss man, he always talks nasty to you if you're alone with him. Man, if he ever pulls something funky I'm gonna go off on him. I told my mom he was freaky and she said "Alex honey, if he makes one move on you, I will personally cut off his dick." My mom rocks.
I was really getting off watching the two of them fucking, wishing it was me with Kaos. Okay, Kev's got a great body and all that, but it's Kevin, he's like our dad or something. He's pretty proud of his body too, and he's always showing it off. I think that kind of sucks, because how are we supposed to compete? It just makes us feel inadequate, or at least it does for me. Kev was fucking Kaos up the ass, kind of lying behind and underneath him with his hands on K's waist while blondie bounced on his dick and kind of wriggled around, not even touching his own cock. I guess he didn't need to to get off. "Ahh, ohh," K kept moaning, and then he kind of tensed up and started panting, "oh, don't stop, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" As soon as he said it, I unloaded into the wad of kleenex I'd snagged, soaking it through and still getting my hands all sticky with my juice. I lay back breathing hard and when I looked again, I guess I missed him shooting, damnit, because now they were just lying together kissing, Kev was on top of him and they were caressing each other and saying "I love you so much Boo Daddy." "I love you, baby Bunny." God, make me puke.
Howie says I'm obsessed with sex, but I don't think it's really any worse than any other guy my age. It's more like I'm obsessed with experiencing stuff. I've always been like that, since I was really little. I always have to try everything. I snuck into the bathroom and made sure I was all cleaned up before I walked back to the door, stomping really loudly, and then opened it. "Yo Nicky," I said, "it's tiiiime to go work now!" I waved a notebook at him. "Hey, you could have knocked," Kevin said, frowning at me while he yanked a sheet over them. "It's not like I haven't seen your bare asses before," I said. K giggled and ran his hand through Kevin's hair, kissing him on the lips like I wasn't even there. "Fine well, come in whenever you feel like it," I said. I wish I wasn't jealous of Kevin for being with K but I am.
I cleaned up and got dressed real quick. Then I tried to find my math stuff. Boo helped me look. I found it and he held me and we kissed one more time. "Goodbye my sweet," my Boo said to me. It sounds poetical. Is that a word? "Don't say goodbye," I said. I hugged him super tight. I love it when my Boo is sweaty! It's so sexy. I want to lick it all off his body. Umm. I hope he doesn't get tired later. We're not supposed to make love same day as shows, if it's before the show. It's like our little rule. Oops. "You're gonna be tired tonight huh," I said. "I'm sorry." "My baby needed some sweet lovin'," Boo said. "I love you so much," I said back. "Go do some math," Boo said, and he gave me this lil smile like "I know you don't want to." "I just wanna be with you," I said. He smacked me on the butt and told me "go on."
I think Bone was kind of mad. He was like "we've only got like 20 minutes before rehearsal." I forgot we have an extra dance thing today before regular practise. We shouldn't have made love. I don't get that tired from sex unless it's like crazy all night long kind of lovin', and we have done that!, but Boo is older than me. I was thinking about that and Bone said something else. I didn't hear it but I said "I'm sorry. I need to get a watch or something." "A watch doesn't tell you what days you have dance rehearsals," Bone said kind of pissy, and he got out his homework and passed it to me. "Oh I guess you're right," I just said. When people get mad at me I just get quiet and kind of avoid them until they act nice again. So I just shut up. I graded Bone's homework and he graded mine. I got a D and Bone got a C. Bone is really smart but he doesn't like math. I'm bad at everything in school, except I like science and art.
"We're screwed when we get back to O town," Bone said. When he said it I felt kind of sick to my stomach. I don't want to go home coz things get really weird with Boo and me. "Don't worry," Bone said, and he patted my arm. "You won't fail." I said, "I was just worrying about me and Boo." "You are such a girl," Bone said. "All you ever think about is Kevin and planning your freaking wedding. You're obsessed." "No, I'm in love," I said. "You don't pay attention to anything else except Kevin," Bone said. "You're so boring to be around." "I'm not boring to Boo," I said. But it hurt my feelings that he said that. Why was Bone so mad if I was in love with Boo Boo? Plus they all make fun of me when I talk about wedding stuff. That hurts too. Nobody understands how we feel, and how it helps us not to get sad about how long we have to wait before we can be free to love each other. Four years. When we're on tour I pretend we're married and living together already.
I felt depressed when Leon came to get us for rehearsal. We had all this new stuff to work on and then Lou wanted to talk to me and we went to a back office. He locked the door. He was asking me all this private stuff about me and Boo, like when was the last time we made love. Well, except he doesn't say it as nice as that. He started getting all nasty with me and I was like "I have to go." He tried to stop me and said I was in big trouble. I said "you're sick dude, leave me alone" and I left. Boo always gets all worked up when I go talk to Lou, so I went to go find him. He was in the bathroom.
"Hey pumpkin," I said, and I hugged him from behind. I'm almost tall enough to put my head on Boo Boo's shoulder! I hope I grow exactly the same height as him! "Baby, you should have waited for me," Boo said, "I don't want you talking to that pervert by yourself." Why does everybody think I can't take care of myself? I know it's just coz he loves me but I'm not a little kid. "He didn't do nothing," I said. "Boo Boo, I was thinking about our wedding." "What sweetie?" he asked. He turned around and hopped up so he was sitting on the sink thingie. "Maybe we could have like a sort of small wedding just for us and the guys, before this tour ends. Not like our real wedding or anything." "Like a commitment ceremony." "Uh... I guess? I mean, just so that if we have to be away from each other-" I almost started to cry when I said that! "Oh baby," Boo said, and he wrapped his arms around me right away. He always knows if I'm sad. "Tomorrow, let's go look for rings," he said. I started jumping up and down, I was so excited, and I made Boo Boo laugh.
CHAPTER FOUR
Before we go out on stage, we all gather together and pray. It's just like our little tradition. Don't ask me why. I love how everybody assumes I had something to do with starting it. Hell, I was the last person to even join the friggin' group. See, there I go again with the cursing. I'm gonna be in some deep "doo doo" the next time I go home to KY! So we try to focus for a minute on thanking the Lord for getting us where we are, which isn't really all that exciting tonight, a shopping mall, we're in the back service corridor, and I keep wondering if Josh is gonna show up or not. It's not like there's going to be ten thousand people out there. I think I'll see him if he's there. He was so nice, not like a typical one night stand. A lot of older guys would see me and say, well, he's pretty hot, I'll take him back to my place and get off and that's all. That's all I was looking for from him, even if he did go to the trouble of writing me that nice note and all. I guess it kind of weirded me out or something 'cos I'm still thinking about it the next day. Odd, EH?
We changed some of our choreography in two songs and I hope we don't fuck it up too bad. I think I got it, but sometimes I space out on stage. We had new outfits too, these coordinated baggy silver-blue track suits that say Backstreet Boys on the back, and then black tops underneath. Pretty cool I have to say. We definitely look more like a real group and not like five random kids! We were all pretty pumped up when we went out to sing. Leon had gotten some girls to hand out flyers in the mall the last couple of days, and their reward was free copies of our promo CD single and publicity photo. Man, these girls were annoying. They were all around Frack's age and really hyper. Bone and D were macking on them because they have no shame at all. I just laughed. Not my style. The girls stuck around to "help us" afterwards. We all sat at a folding table and signed our CDs and photos for the little crowd who had come to watch, mostly really young kids with their moms.
I was kinda bummed out because I hadn't seen Josh, and Frack kept kicking me under the table. He's one of those people who is super fidgety, but he's also a space cadet and so he didn't even know he was doing it. Finally I kicked him back, really hard, and he yelped out loud, and everybody except Leon and Kev cracked up laughing. "Ow, sh-!" Frack said, and he clapped his hand over his mouth. Leon glared at me. I already got bitched out by Jabba the Slut when we got to New Brunswick, I didn't need another lecture about how I need to "reevaluate my priorities." So I just looked around like I wasn't even involved. The crowd was kinda thinning out and no Josh, of course D had to make some smartass comment since I was dumb enough to say he might come. Sometimes I really want to kick some Puerto Riquish ass. We were breaking down the tables and chairs and stuff, oh the glamourous life we lead, when this dude comes up and asks if I have a light. I don't smoke but I do have a lighter just in case a guy comes and asks me if I have a light. See, it comes in handy.
"Be back in five," I said to Bone, who was just laughin' at me. This guy wasn't that cute, but he was wearing a leather jacket and he was kinda built. He had stubble and he was pretty tall, with a nice round butt. Overall I'd say he was my type, my type being "male." Nah, I'm just playin'. I do like guys who are what you'd call manly looking, so I usually prefer older men. We went over to the smoking area of the food court and he fired up a cig. "Thanks," he said. "Hey, were you one of those kids who was singing earlier?" "Ah yup," I said, "that would be me. Name's Brian." "Tim. Hey, you were pretty good." "Thanks," I said. I wondered if I could get him to start every sentence with 'hey.' Like, 'hey, that was a hell of a blowjob!' "You live in town?" I asked. "Sure do. You've got some kinda accent. Are you American?" "Kentucky born and bred," I said with my big ol' cheesy smile. "We're supposed to head over to Saint John tonight," I went on. "Oh yeah? You need a ride?" This was too easy. I grinned again. "Aww, that would be fantastic. Hold up and let me get the name of our hotel." "Sure, I'll be here," he said, holding up the half-smoked ciggie. I raced over to find the guys. Damnit, I was going to get laid tonight.
"No way Rok," D was saying, looking around for Kev and getting all stressed out. "No way!" "See you guys in Saint Jo," I said and I took off running. I knew if Kev was around I wouldn't get away with it, let alone Leon or Lou. Well tough shit, they weren't there! "Let's go," I said to Tim, and we headed off to the parking lot. My first feeling that maybe this wasn't such a great idea was when we got to his car. Let's say it was an antique. There was all kinds of shit on the floor, including quite a collection of beer cans. We headed out of town and when I changed channels on the radio, Tim put his hand over mine and kind of stroked it. I smiled at him. "You are one good looking American boy," he said. This was starting to sound like the dialogue in a bad porno, so I turned up the music a bit louder. "Man, it's dark out here," I said. "Not much around here," Tim said, adjusting how he was sitting, "it's pretty much open country." "Good thing you're not a crazy axe murderer," I said. Now why did I say that? That is so not funny. He laughed, though. "Yeah. Good thing," he said.
It got blacker and blacker out and Tim started to look more and more evil as my brain went into too-many-cheesy-horror-movies overload. Damnit, I thought, if I get out of this one alive, I am going to stop thinking with the little head. This is not worth a possible quickie fuck. His car started making this weird high-pitched squealing noise and I closed my eyes to try and go to a happy place. Tim had one hand on my thigh and he was stroking it, but my little man couldn't have been more shrivelled. I think he was hiding. Probably bitching me out in his little dick brain. "Stupid B-Rok and his stupid bright ideas." I was thinking this crazy shit when all of a sudden Tim goes "oh crap!" and slams on the brakes. I look up and I see these whitish greyish things on the road and just when I figure out it's a little herd of deer, we come to a loud screeching stop and smack right into the last one of them.
The poor deer bounced right off the hood and landed on the side of the road, and we sat there flipping out for a second. Then we saw that the front of the car was completely bashed in, and we got out to survey the damage. Tim checked out the car and I went over to the deer. "Bambi is not happy," I said. He wasn't moving. I guess that's better than being badly injured if you're a wild animal. "I think the car will be fine," Tim said cheerfully. "Just needs a little body work." I bit my tongue. The car already looked like it was being held together with duct tape. Tim came over with some rope. "Hey, come give me a hand," he said. "Doing what?" "Well, we have to get it on the car somehow." "We do?" I just stared at him. "Yeah. You kill it, it's yours." I did not really want to play with a dead deer, but since this freak was giving me a ride and all, I kind of had to. I've gone hunting with my dad before, so I wasn't totally grossed out. But we didn't usually kill our prey with cars.
"Hey," Tim said, "you want a moist towelette?" This night couldn't get much weirder, so I said, "sure." We cleaned off our hands a little and then he switched on the radio and got in the back seat of the car. I just looked at him. Surely he wasn't thinking? "Come on back here, cutie," he said. Well, I said to myself, if he's going to kill me and chop me up into a thousand little pieces, it will probably be soon. I should at least try to enjoy my last fuck, before he gets out the torture devices. I climbed in the back seat of Tim's trash heap car with him. He had already pulled his pants down and I took his hard, veiny cock in my hand and stroked it. He grunted and eased himself down so more of his back was on the seat, lifting up his legs. His bare ass and balls were pressed up on my crotch and even though I wasn't all that into trying to fuck in the back of a little car out in the middle of asswipe nowhere with a dead deer on the roof, sometimes you have to take life's lemons and make lemonade, if you know what I'm sayin'.
As a former Boy Scout, I'm always prepared, and I slipped a rubber on Bam-Bam and went diving in to Tim's great beyond. At least we had some good tuneage on the radio while we fucked, because I can't say it was sending me into the greatest heights of ecstasy. Maybe it was the funny noises Tim was making, or the fact that I was afraid if we rocked the house too much the deer would fall off the roof. But I found my rhythmn and felt that glow spreading through my body as I reached the point of no return. "Oh yeah," I groaned, and just as I started shooting I felt one of my calf muscles clench up real tight. I was in a really awkward position, so this wasn't a big shock, but it kind of killed the moment, and after I finished unloading, I hobbled out of the car, dumped the condom, and rubbed my leg, trying to get the knot out of my calf. "Phew," Tim said, getting out and wiping his bunghole with another moist towelette. "That was nice." I just burst out laughing. I couldn't stand it any longer.
"Thanks for the ride," I said to Tim when we pulled up at our hotel in Saint John. "No problem," he said. "Good luck getting Bambi home," I replied. "Thanks. You sure you don't want some? I have a saw in the trunk somewhere." "No. Seriously, it's okay." I laughed all the way up in the elevator, picturing myself walking in the room with a bloody deer haunch. Bone let me in and whispered that I was in major deep shit. "Yeah, what else is new?" I said, and I took a quick shower before climbing into the sack. I think I was still laughing when my head hit the pillow.