Author's notes: having writers block is not funny. But than again I did come up with some good and new ideas... ;p
This story is dedicated to Red. T thanks for the agathas
Disclaimer: I'm the queen of England (damn my grandson is hot!) that's as true as this story.
Part 10
'Josh was involved in the accident. He suffered head injuries and lost his memory. He had no idea who he was or where he was. He roamed around the country and ended up living in Utah. I never believed he was dead and searched the Internet until one day I stumbled across a picture of a man called Joshua Scott. It was Josh. I located him. He had no idea who he was so he needed time to digest all the information. I guess that he had enough time to do so.'
My mouth fell open. Justin was the worst liar ever but he never even blinked telling this story. I almost didn't dare to look at the other 3. I was so afraid that they wouldn't buy the story. I quickly glanced at Lance. He had pity in his eyes. I looked away again.
'So he didn't know who he was?'
'All he said was my name is Joshua.'
Justin walked towards me.
'See Chris, Josh was scared when I told him about the past year. He was leading this happy life in Utah and suddenly he is the teenage heartthrob that had died. I don't know how I would react. I promised to give him some time. Time to recover his memory. It's hard to tell how much he knows or can remember. All I know is that he remembers the weirdest things.'
Justin now stood by me. His hand drew slowly circles on my arm.
Joey and Lance stepped closer. I couldn't step back anymore but I sure wanted to. The table was pressing in my back and Justin blocked my exit. I stared at the farm. They were feeling restless too.
Joey was still wearing the old sneakers he was suppose to throw out before I had left. Lance wore nice shoes.
'Nice shoes.'
I started to giggle. I kept staring at their shoes. They obviously had no idea what to say or to do. Except for Justin. He kept touching me. His fingers moved up and down my arm. My skin started to tingle a little. I liked the feeling; it was a good feeling.
I slowly raised my head and looked at Joey and Lance. Joey's head was titled to the left and he had a vague smile playing on his lips. Lance on the other hand looked very serious. His thin framed glasses were half way down his nose and his hand played nervously with the collar of his shirt.
I couldn't help but smile. That was all that Joey needed. He started grinning and pulled me in one of his famous Fatone hugs.
'Watch the juniors.'
I almost threw the farm in Justin's hands. Joey lifted me of the ground and nearly crushed me to death. Just when I expected him to swirl me around he put me back on my own two feet and kissed my forehead.
'It's good to know that you are still alive.'
His voice broke and he quickly left the room.
Lance quickly touched my arm and followed Joey.
'Do you want to meet the others?'
'The others?'
Nsync was 5 members. Who else would there be? 'There are two more people I want you to meet.'
I stared at Justin.
'Who?'
'Lance's girlfriend and my daughter.'
'Lance has a girlfriend?'
'Some of us do move on you know JC.'
I didn't miss the anger in Chris' voice.
'My name is Joshua.'
Chris' eyes narrowed and he left the room.
Justin tugged on my arm.
'Come on.'
He placed the farm back on the table and I let Justin drag me from the safety of my own room.
Part 11 Justin's fingers curled around mine as we walked down the hall. His hand felt at home in mine. We took the stairs to the floor below mine. He softly squeezed my hand as we walked to the rooms they had.
'Everyone will be in Lance's room.'
I smiled. Nothing had changed.
The first that I saw when we walked in was Lance. He was sitting on a couch with his arm wrapped around a girl. That wasn't a surprise. Lance did date in the past. But the fact that the girl was holding a baby in her arms shocked me. I looked at Justin. He had this goofy smile on his face. He let go of my hand and walked to the couch. The girl handed him the baby and things clicked.
'Meet Gemma.'
Justin showed me the child. She was definitely Justin's. The curls gave it all away.
'Gemma?'
'Gemma Jocelyn Eve Timberlake.'
The pride in his voice melted my heart.
Justin tried to hand me the child but I stepped away. I didn't trust my arms. I was still shaking all over.
'I'm Chloe.'
The girl on the couch suddenly stood by my side. I jumped a little.
'Joshua.'
I stared at her. She was a beautiful girl. Her eyes were sincere and her smile honest. I could see why Lance fell in love with her.
'I'm Eva's sister.'
I think that my jaw just hit the floor. I looked at Lance and Justin but they were too busy with Gemma.
'I... I...'
I was speechless.
'It's ok. I'm Gemma's babysitter. I take care of her.'
Justin turned his attention to me again.
'Chloe is the best babysitter ever. And with Lance I got two for the price of one.'
Everyone started laughing. I almost didn't hear the soft ding of the lift doors. Happy chatter and laughter filled the hall. One voice was Steve Fatone's. The other was without a doubt the sound of Tyler Chasez. I paled. It was Tyler. My brother. I had to get away.
For a moment I considered jumping of the balcony but Justin grabbed me and pulled in the bathroom. He locked the door and turned on the hairdryer.
'They won't hear us talk this way.'
He answered my unspoken question.
I started to shake even harder. I knew that I had to face my family sooner or later but this was way too soon. I could have faced anyone. Angry fans, the police. Name it and I was ready but not my family. I sank to my knees and whimpered.
'I totally forgot that he was here.'
Justin's voice sounded close and I could feel his warm breath on my skin. His hand was on my leg. He didn't move it but the feeling was enough to make me rock hard. I moaned and rested my head back against the bathtub. My brother was outside and I was getting turned on by a hand.
'Are you ok?'
I nodded.
'What's he doing here?'
Justin sat down beside me. His shoulder rubbing mine. His thigh burning against mine.
'He finds comfort with the others.'
I hung my head low. I had hurt so many people.
Justin touched my face.
'Don't torture yourself. You did what you thought was the best.'
He moved closer. Our lips almost touched.
'You in there Timberlake?'
I froze again. Tyler was banging on the door.
'Yeah I'm in here.'
Justin's voice suddenly sounded so cold.
'Hurry I have to pee.'
'You've got your own room.'
'Are you doing your hair?'
I raised my eyebrow hearing Tyler's odd question.
'What if I am?'
'Your looks already drove one man to his grave. Who will be next?'
I was stunned. I glanced over at Justin and saw the defeated look on his face right before he buried his face in his hands.
I heard Joey usher the two boys out of the room.
'Justin, I'm...'
'I'm used to it. It's ok.'
I wrapped my arms around him.
'It's not only your looks that I like.'
Justin started to sob. I felt guilty. He lifted his head and looked at me. His blue eyes were crystal clear and tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to say something but I didn't want him to say a word. I didn't want words to be spoken that we both couldn't say or didn't want to hear. I covered his trembling lips with mine. It was a sweet kiss. Nothing sexual or passionate. Just a sweet kiss.
Justin hiccuped after our lips lost contact. The tears had stopped. I wiped the remaining moist away.
'Don't cry over me ok?'
Justin nodded.
'I have to go back to my room. I have to feed the juniors.'
Justin nodded again.
'It's as strange for them as it is for you Josh.'
That boy can read minds. I wanted to be alone. Away from Chris who kept staring at me as if I was a stranger. Away from Lance who was glowing with happiness and I couldn't blame him. Away from Joey although he was happy to see me. But most of all I wanted to get away from that warm body that fit so perfectly in my arms. Away from my love before I was back at square one: hopeless in love with Justin.
Part 12 But I couldn't stay away from him very long. I went upstairs and spent an hour feeding the cockroaches. After that I called Mae and Ian and told them what had happened. I told them about Tyler and the way he acted. I was so disappointed. I raved on about how he wasn't raised that way. And I told them about Gemma and how the others had responded. Mae had to laugh when she heard my detailed report. Ian just wished me luck.
The room was suddenly so big when I hung up. I gathered a few things and decided to go to Justin's room. If I ran in to Tyler than it was meant to be. I opened the room and started at a broad chest covered with a tight black T-shirt. I raised my gaze and squealed. Yes I squealed.
'Lonnie!'
I jumped in his arms. My feet left the ground and what ever stiffness I had in my back was gone. I heard a loud pop. I heard the deep chuckle that I had subconsciously missed so much. He slowly lowered me to the ground again.
'You are looking good.'
I ran my hand through my hair.
'Like the colour?'
Lonnie nodded.
'Let me through.'
I heard Justin say in whinny voice. Lonnie stepped aside and Justin entered my room.
'Have you fed them?'
He pointed at the farm. I nodded.
'Good.'
He handed me one of his bandanna's.
'You are coming to the stadium with me. I have to do a sound check.'
'Oh no, stadium means loads of girls that could recognise me.'
Justin sighed.
'Guess why I brought the bandanna?'
We got into the stadium without any problems. Justin got out first and signed a few autographs. I was able to walk in without anyone knowing who I was. Lonnie had given me the correct passes and I was able to go where ever I wanted. I inhaled deeply. I loved the smell. I had missed the smell. It's hard to explain what it smelled like. Home was the first word that popped up in my head. I spent a few minutes trying to find my way backstage. It wasn't that hard. Most stadiums look alike. If you have seen one than you've seen them all. Justin caught up with me and we walked to the dressing room. I was surprised to see that he had one for him self.
'Since when do you have a dressing room alone?'
Justin shrugged.
'It's easier. I can take care of Gemma without annoying the lads.'
'And the real reason is?'
I told you that he was a bad liar, always has been.
'Things have been very awkward Josh. I didn't feel comfortable around the rest. They all silently blamed me. The press had a go at me for not showing any emotion. Jive had a go at me for being irresponsible. And they had that go through Lance.'
He turned around.
'No use to cry over spilled milk. We are going to do the sound check.'
He dragged me from the room. I was still shocked to see that sudden mood change.
We walked to the stage and Justin gave me a microphone.
'Wanna sing me a song Josh?'
I was busy lightening a cigarette. I started to smile and took the microphone. I walked to the edge of the stage and started to sing a few songs the kids had taught me. They were silly songs and Justin's laughter filled the arena. He stepped behind me and rested his chin on my shoulder.
'Sing that last one again.'
It was a slow song about an angel. Justin softly swayed to the rhythm.
The song ended and we turned around. Justin was bigger than I was. He had grown in the last year. I stared at the back of his head for a second.
'I thought that I heard an angel sing but than I saw it was you Timberlake. And we both know that you ain't no angel.'
Tyler walked on stage. His reaction told me that he hadn't seen me.
'Your momma didn't raise you that way, Tyler Chasez.'
Justin later told me that his face was worth a million bucks. My voice echoed through the arena and Tyler jumped to the ceiling.
'Did you hear that?'
I could see that Justin tried not to laugh.
'That sounded just like JC.'
I took a deep breath and stepped from behind Justin.
'It sounds like him because he's here.'
Tyler's eyes grew big and his jaw dropped to the floor.
'You're... JC is...'
I stepped closer to Tyler but he stepped back.
'No.'
He said and shook his head.
'You died. I carried your coffin to your grave. You are dead.'
'Josh was involved in the accident Tyler but he didn't die. He lost his memory and had no idea where he was or who he was. It took me so long to find him.'
I saw the unshed tears in Tyler's eyes. I tried stepping closer again and this time Tyler didn't move.
'I'm sorry.'
My apology kick started a flow of tears. My little brother was crying. I embraced him and held him tight.
'I'm so sorry Ty.'
'That's ok.'
He sniffled.
'You couldn't remember us.'
His words made me cry too and we stood there for an hour. Just holding each other. We both didn't want to let go. Justin had walked away after a few minutes. He had to prepare for a show. Finally our tears were dry. We made our way backstage and sat down. We had a few things to talk about.
Part 13 It took Tyler almost two hours to fill me in on the family. So many things had happened and I had missed them all. Tyler told me that he had made pictures of almost each occasion. I couldn't wait to see them. The concert had started and I felt very relaxed with the guys singing in the background. I told Tyler bits and pieces of where I had been and what I had done. I told him about the medal that I had received after saving that kid. I told him about the cockroaches and he didn't even pull a disgusted face. I made a mental note to show the farm to him when we got back to the hotel.
The conversation started to go into the 'we got nothing to talk about really but lets chat' direction. One question had been going through my mind the whole time.
'Why do you hate Justin so much?'
There, I said it. Tyler started to blush and looked at his shoes. The question had blown him of his seat.
'I...'
'I heard you talk to him Tyler. I was with Justin in the bathroom.'
Tyler took a deep breath and started talking.
'I hate him because he made you go away. He made you go away and you didn't come back. You were supposed to go for just a few days, remember? You called me and said that you'd be out of town for a few days. Getting your thoughts straight again and you never came back. That's why I hate him.'
Tyler wiped away his tears.
'And I hate him for keeping the faith that I didn't have. He was so sure that you were alive and I felt so ashamed that I couldn't have that faith. '
Tyler looked at me. His immense eyes were filled with fresh tears.
'I hate him that he loved you. And I hate him for not being able to hate me. I've said so many horrible things to him and never did he yell or hit me.'
I pulled my brother in my arms.
'Justin isn't capable of hating people.'
'You know what I hate the most?'
'What?'
'I can't hate him anymore. He found you.'
I felt a new flow of tears wetting my shirt. I gently stroked his hair. The sudden silence in the stadium embraced me. I shivered.
'Your shirt is all wet.'
'I've got more shirts.'
Tyler stretched and wiped his face.
'It's good to have you back bro.'
I sighed.
'It's good to be back.'
'You guys ready?'
Lonnie stood in the doorway.
'Everyone is on the bus waiting for you.'
The three of us walked to the bus. The bus door closed behind the driver and us immediately took off. I stumbled to the back area. The guys were already there. Chris was playing with the stereo. He tried to find a radio station that he liked. Joey was already very busy hooking up the play station. My eyes wandered through the room. Lance was sitting on the couch. He was on the phone. He had a look of love on his face and I guessed that he was talking to that Chloe girl. Justin was on the couch too. His head was in Lance's lap and the older blonde gently caressed his curls. I could see that Justin had been crying. A pang of jealous wracked through my body. He was hurt. And it hurt me to see that he had find comfort with Lance.
TBC....
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