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Cards in the Deck - Adam and Ben 27
The Last Brevard
It was early Friday morning, the day we were to pick up Ryan at the airport. The appraisal sessions had gone very smoothly. We had covered off on Gorham Sterling Silver, crystal stems, and 3 sets of china. We reviewed furniture - Duncan Fife, Queen Anne, reproductions, and a few Amish pieces. One of the more interesting suits was Grandmother's bedroom suit which Quinn had described as Pre-blight chestnut. Apparently, in the late 30's there was a blight that wiped out the American chestnut. Furniture made prior to the blight are deemed very valuable and collectible. Aunt Claire made a request for the bureau from the suit but was deterred by Uncle James because the breaking up of the set had a distinct devaluation of the suit. The suit in its pristine condition would bring upwards of $25,000. She did acquire the Steinway console piano from the South Parlor for her granddaughter Karen who apparently played quite well - took a hit to her reserve for $5500. She made bids on a number of other items which did not carry as well. As Margo had said to me during a phone call, for someone who had little interest in living at Brevard House, she certainly had tremendous attachment to its belongings.
During the estate jewelry review, Uncle James had selected a couple of pairs of Grandfather's cufflinks to pass down to Brandon and Ryan as heirlooms. Two stipulations were made clear. First, they would be worn at graduations and second, if they were sold or lost, disinheritance would be highly considered. Uncle James finally asked about the Rolex watch as it had not appeared in the collection. Phil stepped in and indicated to his brother that he would cover off on that off-line. In the end, James was not pleased but did not press the point. The watch had been restored four years ago by Adam West and had been given to me as a Christmas present. I had worn the watch ever since. Being able to keep the watch always rested on shaky ground, but hey, I'm Benjamin Brevard. You can shake your foundation all you want. I'm keeping the watch!
As Quinn roused from sleep and I was getting out of the shower, he came into the bathroom and gave me the morning kiss. "I need to talk to you before we get on with the weekend," he said.
"Sure, what's up?" I asked.
"I don't want you to get made."
"Uh oh," I thought. "Why would I get mad?"
"Well giving you criticism isn't easy but I have to get it out of my head today."
"UH OH," I said out loud.
"So, Ben, let me start by saying, you did ok asking me to head up this appraisal review for your family. I have loved every minute of this."
"Good, you have done a magnificent job. I thought you would."
"Part of the problem," he said. "Also, this thing about sending out to look at properties, well, it's a risky adventure as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to knock it out of the park but it's a complicated experience."
"I get that, Quinn., but as I explained..."
"I understand your rationale and I love you for it but it's part of the problem as well."
"Ok, then," I said feeling a little defensive, "let's have the problem."
"You don't think out loud. You don't socialize ideas or throw your notions down on the table for brainstorming. By the time you lay the surprise attack on someone, you have thought of it, assessed its risks, considered the downstream impact, and determined the results. You don't accept any injection of ideas."
"Surprise attack?" I asked. "That's a bit harsh."
"Let me finish. There may come a day when you drop one of these drive-by's on me and I might say no. It may have repercussions on our relationship and I don't need that." He paused and I didn't say anything. "Remember that surprise party you threw for Adam when he graduated from high school? Well that was a great thing. Everyone loves a surprise party. But a surprise task or assignment is not the same thing. Not everything has to be a `Tah Dah! Guess what I've got for you' moment. I want to be..."
I stopped him at this point. I knew this discussion. I had experienced it before.
"Quinn, I know what you are going to say. I have heard it before. I get it."
"With Adam?" he asked.
"No, Adam couldn't contribute to many of my plans. This came from Ian. He was not afraid of me and got on me good once for doing just this. Told me I needed to include him in my thought process or I could think of it and execute on it all by myself."
Quinn laughed. "Ok, that was a bit harsh."
"Ian did not play. He was spunky on a good day."
"I think you don't want to hear anyone's mouth when you're plotting and scheming. I wonder if you will second think yourself if your ideas get shot down in early stages. Maybe you trust yourself more than you trust other people. I don't know how to express it exactly."
"Look, you are partly correct. I never told my parents I was gay because I didn't want to hear their mouth. However, I do plan in my head as a matter of strategy because the simple truth is, an interjection of ideas knocks me off the path. I lose my momentum, forget things, and lose confidence. It's not that the ideas are bad - it's like when cold air bumps up against warm air - the result is a thunderstorm. That's what happens in my head. I can't help. I really can't."
"Ah, well I can understand that a little. I've always thought you were a little crazy."
"I am! Completely. But in my defense, I got it from my Grandfather. He was the same damn way. He talked to me about his notions but I was a little boy. All I could do was listen. I did ask questions and he loved it but he was teaching me, not trying to sell me."
"So how did this work out with Ian?" Quinn asked.
"Well I made him this promise and I stuck to it. I'm going to make you the same promise and ask for your help. First, I will drop my ideas on your lap and I will consider your ideas or suggestions. But you have to show me some grace if I can't take the responses right up front. Be gentle, knowing what you know. Deal?"
"Yes, that's a deal. Whew, I'm glad I told you this. I was terrified."
"Quinn! You never have to be terrified of me!"
"Oh yeah, well at least until you kick me off the porch and into the shrubberies!" he laughed. "The shwubbewies," he mocked.
"He had that coming. That was a one off event. And Quinn, while you never fail to amaze me, let me say you are the bigger man for coming to me with this. I'm sorry I pushed you into that corner. Ian said my way of thinking was great for the single guy but not for the coupled guy. I fell back into single guy mode when he passed and Adam never challenged me out of it. Thank you for bringing it up now." As he leaned against the sink, I leaned against him and kissed him. I felt his cock start to swell. This stud could grow an erection in the blink of an eye.
"You did all you could do to me last night. Sorry stud but you are going to have to wait until tonight or tomorrow," I laughed out.
"Damn you, fucker. You know you turn me on. Look at this thing you leave me with?" he said sexy-like, holding out his erect cock. It was gorgeous. I gave it a light squeeze and gave him another kiss and went into the bedroom to get dressed.
"Hey, here is an advance warning. I want Ryan to see us as a couple and to see what a good relationship looks like; but I am going to want to spend some time with him alone just getting to know him and telling him about family stuff. Is that alright? I don't want you to feel left out."
"Absolutely! I have some things to do to get ready for my trip Sunday so I appreciate you giving me some time off. I'm really excited to meet this little guy. I think he's very curious," Quinn said, coming back into the bedroom to get dressed."
"Do you know where all you're going next week?" I asked.
"Yep," was all he said. No details.
"Oh, and Ben, between tonight at the football game, and whatever happens next week, just remember, payback is a bitch. You need to be ready for anything," he said doing a little funny happy dance in front of me. He put on some jeans and came up to the front of me and did a little grind pressing his crotch against mine. He slipped his tongue in my ear then slipped it into my mouth. Ok, so I grew to full attention and was about to give in, when he said, "a bitch, isn't it. Payback." Then he sauntered out of the room laughing, leaving with me an erection that was in no hurry to deter. "Asshole," I thought. "Fuck that turns me on and I'm not about to tell him so!" I thought in my head.
We headed to Birmingham to meet Ryan. Along the way, Quinn advised me that in all seriousness, I needed to be on my toes for the game tonite. It was cryptic and he said he couldn't say more. That we wouldn't even have a glass with dinner tonight. I needed to be sharp. We parked along the terminal and waited for Ryan to text that he was heading off the plane. Then, a few minutes later I got the text that read "I'm here!"
I spotted him as soon as he came into baggage claim. He was dragging a rolling suitcase and he approached us, recognizing us immediately.
"Hey Ryan," I said.
"Hey man," Quinn said.
He greeted us both and shook our hands. He was a hot little number for sure. He wore a Lacoste pullover, slim jeans, and tan leather shoes. He was well put together.
"Can we head to the car? I don't believe the airport is the place for small talk," then he headed to the door dragging his suitcase.
Quinn looked at me and laughed. "Since you like assessments so much, let me assess this one for you..." I couldn't wait. "That apple jumped off his family tree onto your family tree, then fell and didn't roll too far!" I almost choked I laughed so hard.
We led Ryan out to the CT6 and opened the trunk to lodge his suitcase in. He jumped into the back seat and we headed back home. He already had the house in his Maps and declared we had an hour and fifteen minutes to get home. And he was right. We chatted lightly. School was ok. Classes were not hard but the amount of work was significant. The prep school in Charlottesville was renowned. I knew of it. Very collaborative style of learning. As he relaxed he became more talkative. Began issuing all the questions he had considered. Wanted to hear about Quinn and football. He was shy with me but I didn't take it to heart.
We exited the interstate and headed down Fox Run Rd and past the house. He said, "Wait! Didn't we just pass it?"
"We did," I responded. "Not our first stop. First, we are dropping by the Brevard plant so you can see the old building, then the Brevard Foundation, which was the corporate offices back in the day. Very historical building."
"Great," he said with a lack of enthusiasm. Maybe touring was not what had in mind but the imagery had to be fulfilled. He needed to see.
By the time we got half way through the plant, he began perking up. The machinery, along with the processes and safety wear, helped him realize what manufacturing looked like in real life. He asked good questions about modernization and automation and how it had impacted the number of people at work. Then he asked about liquidity and return on equity and expenses. Quin was like, "What the hell? Is he gonna put in a bid for the company?"
"I heard that," said Ryan. "I'm serious when I ask questions like that. I'm a day trader," he said confidently.
"A what?" I asked. "How can you do that 15?"
"My grandfather set up an online account for me. He didn't want to do it. He didn't believe I understood risk and would throw away a bunch of money. I brought out a couple of prospecti and gave him a run down of ratios and performance numbers. After that, he opened the account," he exclaimed nodding his head as if there were no further arguments to be had.
"Wow," said Quinn.
"What is your principal? I asked.
"25,000," he responded.
"What's your profit?" I asked.
"The account is worth 46,000 and some change," he replied.
"How long?" asked Quinn.
"Nine months."
"Good lord," I said. "Well done. Perhaps I should hand you over some of my spare change."
"Grandfather made it clear that the principal was on call and that if he asked for it back, I would have to give it back to him. Once the account reaches two times the principal, I'm going to pay him back anyway so I don't have to live under his rules." He started walking along the upstairs catwalk where we stood overlooking the central floor.
"Damn," said Quinn. "Let me correct my earlier statement. That apple rolled AWAY from your tree then rolled right back to it. He is you. Totally you."
"He doesn't know that yet," I whispered back. "Let me ease into our similarities."
We left the factory and headed across the parking lot to the very ornate three story building that housed the Brevard Foundation staff, the boardroom and my official office, which was occupied by Grandfather Nelson.
He did take great interest in the corporate offices trying to assess which divisions would have been housed where. Curiously, the vacant part of the building was more interesting to him than the habited areas. There were miscellaneous papers and files stored there. Old pictures of the family business in operation. He studied each one detail.
"Why are these stuck back here? There's a lot to gather from these old photos. Look at the family, how young they were. The history here is compelling." He maintained his study of the pictures as he edged along the hall and the empty offices.
"Quinn," I said. "Young Ryan makes a valid point. Perhaps we should haul these out into the open."
"I agree," said Quinn. With all that's going on, the historical reference would mean a lot. Even display them in town!"
"Great idea," I exclaimed. It really was. In any case, he showed interest in the history. That would get us off to a good start.
He told us he was hungry so we took a drive through town and stopped at the Tastee Freeze for burgers. You could clearly see his nose turn up slightly.
"I guess a hole in the wall will do in a pinch," he said as he exited the car.
By the time he had the first bite of that burger in his mouth, he began singing the praises of the "get burgers" plan, as he referred to it.
He embarked on a few personal questions. How did we meet? What was Quinn's degree in? What was my degree? How did I entrust something like the estate disposition to someone without a degree?
Quinn bristled and was about to respond when I put my hand up to stop him.
"Ryan, a degree is appropriate for illustrating one's intellectual abilities to companies and employers who don't know you. But, at the level of comfort I have for Quinn, I do not need proof of intellect for him to lead a project which is very natural to his abilities. And, additionally, there isn't much of a degree that prepares one for the type of work he is facilitating. Do you get me?'
He nodded. "I do understand what you are saying. In fact, he could have countered me and asked what degrees do I have to support me playing the stock market. Would that be the same thing?"
"I think that's right Ryan," Quinn responded. "There is an element at work here that enhances the skillsets. I value Ben so much that I want to please him every way I can. If leading this project is something he needs me to do, then I will work triple time to get it done. And I have."
"Oh I agree. You have been amazing on those calls. Dealing with Grandfather is no easy task and he hasn't fussed the first time. Everyone just raves. I guess the message we get in school is that without the degree, you can't accomplish anything. But I have been suspicious of that message."
Quinn nodded at me. He understood that I was going to be clarifying a lot of assumptions this weekend.
As we headed back to the car, Ryan added, "aside from the fact those hamburgers were awesome, I want to thank you all for inviting me down here. Everyone says I'm a pain in the ass at home when all I really want is the information. I ask a lot of questions and just want the data. You all are talking...to me and I like it."
"Thanks Ryan for that," I said. "The fact is, you and I have likenesses that I haven't pieced together yet but I'm going to and, with some historical context, you may learn about yourself this weekend. It's my hope anyway. Quinn., here, says I don't think out loud enough and I need to share my thoughts more often, before they become a surprise attack."
"That's funny," said Ryan. "My collaboration team at school said the same thing about me. Said I hoarded information until I was ready to reveal my proposals and suggestions."
"It's not hoarding, " I said. "It's your compilation process. They don't understand that because they are not truly analytical."
"Yes! Thank you! Finally, someone gets it. Compilation process! That fits completely!"
"Let `em have it, Ryan,' ' exclaimed Quinn, trying to be supportive. "Tell them that until they have a better compilation process, leave yours alone!"
Ryan laughed. First time I heard him do that. So cute. He brushed his bangs away from his forehead to the side and looked out the window. "Compilation process. Nice," he said out loud but thinking to himself.
Quinn dropped us off at the door to Brevard Manor and headed back out. He had errands to run before dinner which was 5:30 sharp tonite. I took Ryan on a tour of the house. Two things he found interesting was Quinn's project wall in the study including the floorplans laced with sticky notes and red and green markings indicating completion status. He also found the grandparents' rooms in the east wing interesting. Why did they have separate quarters and what were those general ledger books and diaries all about. As we stood in the room, I gave him some remembrances of Grandfather Nelson. I showed him a picture I had found of Nelson when he was younger. It was surprising and revealing that he looked like us, or that we looked like him rather. I believed there to be a Brevard gene that must have carried to every other generation. We looked like him and we acted like him in some ways. Our ability to assess and analyze, problem solve and strategize. Ryan was finding the whole thing fascinating. Ryan asked, "What about us being gay?" I told him I wouldn't be surprised to find out Nelson, himself, was a gay man. However, men in those days, especially leaders, would have made every sacrifice to keep that fact a secret. But separate rooms and what not could be an indicator.
We finished the tour and the one other thing Ryan found intriguing was my teen bedroom. First off, he approved of the decor. Said it was a classy room. Second, the fact I had left it the way it was and didn't turn it into a store room or something. When we returned to the kitchen to have a soda, he asked a very bold question. "So about Quinn," he said.
"Yes?'
"How did you get a guy like that exactly?"
"What do you mean?"
"So, he is black," Ryan said matter of factly.
"So?"
"C'mon cuz," he said like we were old friends. "This is the `old south' and I know people around here may not think it's a good idea. Don't they?" I didn't get the feeling he was being critical but I could see his point from an outsider's view.
"First off, Ryan, his color means nothing to me except it's who he is. He is handsome..." and Ryan interrupted me, "Oh he's hot! He's really hot!" I got tickled and laughed lightly.
"Yes he is, but he is also amazing, Ryan. And as much as I adore him, he adores me back. What else should I be thinking here?"
"I can see that. You two seem to really have it good. But, don't people look at you funny or say anything to you?"
"They might, I haven't really noticed. The fact is, Ryan, I really don't care. What you are going to learn if you haven't yet, is that there are two conditions that often exempt you from having to put up with other people's negative criticisms. First, when you're rich. Second, when you are super gorgeous or good looking." I leaned in close to his face for emphasis and said quietly, seriously, "I'm both. I don't give a good goddamn what anyone thinks of who I'm sleeping with."
He smiled in agreement and said, "yeah that's right. I feel you." His look was devilish and I wanted to clarify this.
"Now that is not to say I use my advantages for the undoing of other people. That is not right and I don't like those people. Have no use for them. Using my advantages to live a happy life is my right. Using them to make others unhappy is not. Do you understand the difference?"
He nodded sheepishly. He probably didn't entirely but I made the point plain.
"What you will find in me, Ryan, is that I am a believer in that the more you let others shine, and help them succeed, the less mouth they are willing to give you. Acceptance becomes less of an issue. Do not forget that. It's a crucial point to a happy existence."
He nodded again. "So back to my question. How do you get a guy like Quinn? He's younger than you by a lot! And I don't think he has any money. Isn't there a possibility he just wants a chunk?"
"Has someone in Virginia said something about him?" I asked.
"No, not at all. Not that I have heard. It's just that I have been warned that there will be many people who try to get into my life and that's all they will want."
I went on to explain that it's a real possibility. We meet people like that everyday. It's up to us to use our best judgement to identify that threat and clear the board quickly. When we assess folks for the kind of friendship or relationship they bring, we look at qualities. Such as charity, good humor, lack of dependencies on drugs and alcohol, people who live within their means and aren't in financial trouble.
I told him Quinn may not bring much money to the table but he also didn't ask for any. He didn't bring problems to the relationship. He preferred to be WITH me not BECAUSE of me. I asked him if he had anyone he liked and he said he did but that he didn't know how to get it going exactly because the other guy was still in the closet. We talked more about that.
Soon Quinn came home and ordered us to get ready. Ryan came down in a navy sportcoat and striped tie. Quinn had sent word to him to come with dress clothes. He picked my jacket and tie out as well. Not sure what all was going on but we complied. When it came to directives, Quinn was not to be questioned, no more than I was.
Quick dinner and off to the football game. We needed to get there early as parking was a mess. With the team's season success, the bleachers were packed and so were the parking lots. This was the game that determined it all and everyone wanted to be present. The whole town was really in an uproar. There were a lot of introductions getting around because people wanted to know who Ryan was. The fact he resembled me so closely drew a lot of notice.
Then, came Half Time. The marching band did their field routine to screaming crowds and other students set up a platform with microphones. I saw the tv cameras move into position. Maybe some awards or something were going to be handed out. Quinn lead Ryan and me down to the field. I asked what was going on and he said just follow him. Then as the marching band finished their piece, the team came out and took formation behind the podium. The coach and chairman of the school board took the stage. We were standing right by it. I knew something was up and it was going to be a zinger. I just knew it.
The chairman, Mike Branch, went up to the mike. I could see the school board and the city council all gathered at the foot of the concrete bleachers. He quieted the spectators and welcomed everyone to what he called a "special moment of honorarium." Then he asked the coach to offer his remarks. The good coach, a leader, a father to his players, one of the men in town I deeply admired.
"Members of the school board, city council, faculty, friends, and family, we have reached an unbelievable milestone in our athletic journey this year. To have a team, so fit, and able, so dedicated, that have played an undefeated season, is not an accident. People always speak of a village when they talk about success of this magnitude and it is true. It takes support on levels, from heaven to earth, to make this kind of success!
Four years ago, Benjamin Brevard challenged this team to step up. To use their able bodiedness to contribute to this community, the community that has supported them whether they were winning or losing. He challenged the team to get out into the community and make a difference. And it was a slow start but the movement has gained momentum. Because he didn't offer just inspiration but because he also offered incentive. For every good deed, a contribution would be made and those contributions have brought us here tonight. We are blessed with football equipment second to none. We have a freshly painted arena in which to play our sport. Our tools and resources have been greatly complimented by the generosity of the Brevard's. But, this is not just an end result. You have a football team that established the Tiger Charity League two years ago. The TCL has cleaned your streets, they have painted over graffiti. They have waded into the river and cleaned that too. They have coached, refereed little sports including football and soccer. They have read books and magazines to aging seniors in our rehab and retirement centers. While the late great President George Bush made reference to his 1000 points of light, we have in four years created more than 500 points of light in this community. And I believe that the Football Ballet, so courageously performed by the team last year, was the pinnacle of the team's spirit and dedication!" People cheered and applauded. I got a shiver. Quinn and Ryan were all eyes. I will have to explain later about the football team performing a ballet on the football field last year. It was amazing.
"I would like to ask Mr. Benjamin Beal Brevard to take his own step up to the platform!" I walked up the small stairs and stood by the coach. I have never faced so many people in my life. Even my addresses to St Luke's could not compare to this.
"Ben, you created the winning play for us when you gave us your inspiration and your incentive. And the school board as well as the city council all agree these accomplishments cannot go any longer without comment! Ben, you can take comfort that you are not experiencing this moment alone. Your family was online with the livestream and will be celebrating with you. Due to your generosity, your support of the community, and not just yours but three generations of your family, we offer you this small replica plaque of the larger plaque that will be mounted at the entrance of this great stadium next year. As the article in this week's Daily Advance referred to the changes in your life as the Changing of the Guard, so will the callname of this stadium be changed. Next year the Tiger football team will be playing in the BREVARD FOOTBALL STADIUM!"
Well the crowd blew up. The noise could have been heard the next town over. Quinn and Ryan ascended the platform. Ryan threw his arms around me and Quinn threw his arms around us both, making a sandwich. This must have been a sight to the spectators. Ryan's parents saw this. My parents saw this. A lot of parents saw this. It was amazing.
The coach quieted everyone down. Took another minute or so and he looked to me. I had to think fast. I was paddling like hell at this moment.
"Thank you Coach, members of the school board and city council. I'm a bit speechless." I paused to give myself one final check.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have never played football in my life; however, there have been times when I felt like a football!" There was a wide chuckle. "While I know how flattered I feel at this moment, I know my family is feeling the respect from wherever they are. Julia is aiming an iPad at me showing the members of my family sharing this moment with me. The fact that a Brevard 6G is present with me tonight makes this even more incredible. The fact that Phillip Brevard's grandson, Ryan Brevard, happened to come visit this weekend to learn about his family and heritage, and to feel the pride and respect of a community is damn near providencial!" Again, applause. In a calmer voice, I started again, "I know the big win for many of you tonight is this team win and invitation to State. That is a big win. The big win, for me, in my assessment, however, is a team that has put its strength and energy into bettering a community and hopefully establishing life changing skills in their lives! It was an easy charge to give and it was even easier to support. So, if you will give me a moment I would like to pay my respect," and I turned around and faced the team. They stood in proper formation as only the coach would accept. I didn't know any of these boys directly but I recognized the look. The scruffy faces, the meddled sweaty hair, the grass stained jerseys. I extended my arms outward to encompass them all and I bowed to them. As I looked back up, they responded in unison with the Tiger's roar, their vocal symbol and acknowledgement.
I was glad they gave me a small plaque because I didn't want to haul off a big one. Quinn and Ryan and I, all arm in arm, walked off the platform. I felt older, like that "Mr. Brevard" they always want to call me. This was more of a Margo or Phil type of moment. We heard the coach call the game back into play. "Let's play ball!" and the "Brevard family" reentered the stadium bleachers to watch the team win the last game of the season.
It was a moment. A moment that I would recall often, a moment that I would tell people about, a moment I could drop a tear for at any given moment.