Okay, this is a little off base...a celeb story about Nancy Drew's father and steady beau. But, if you grew up reading the Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew stories, c'mon admit it...you wanted someone to hook up. Now they do, sort of.
This is a parody, an homage involving fictional characters originally created by the author known as Carolyn Keene, published by Grosset and Dunlap, New York NY, USA. Any other resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.
Ned and Mr. Drew: Behind the Mystery By Stagebear ( stagebear.thewriter@sogetthis.com )
Carson Drew pulled his sturdy 1936 gray sedan into the Drew driveway. He'd had a long day in court and was looking forward to a delicious supper, followed by some lively banter with his daughter, Nancy. Eighteen year old Nancy had earned kudos for her ability to solve mysteries of all sorts, while retaining her girlish charm. Or perhaps they would enjoy an evening of radio entertainment featuring the River Heights Symphony
"Hello, Drew household!" Carson called as he entered the foyer.
"Why Mr. Drew, you're late this evening," cried Hannah Gruen, as she entered from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel. Hannah, the family housekeeper had been a second mother to Nancy since the girl's mother had died while Nancy was still quite young.
"Indeed, Hannah," replied Mr. Drew. "It has been quite a long day. I hope my tardiness didn't spoil supper"
"Heavens, no," said Hannah. "The roast is about perfect and the potatoes should be done in a few minutes. I'll just finish setting the table."
"Where's our Nancy?" Mr. Drew inquired.
"Why, isn't she in the living room?" Hannah answered with some consternation. "Lands, that girl is worse than a whirling dervish. She was here not five minutes ago." Hannah peered out the foyer window. "Her car is gone, and she never said a word. I imagine she took Ned home." Ned Nickerson was a strapping football player at Emerson College who helped Nancy solve many a mystery. He was also her favorite date, though she'd rarely admit that to her father.
"Oh, was Ned here?" Mr. Drew asked.
"Yes, he and Nancy and Bess and George and their dates all went picnicking this afternoon. I'm afraid Ned took quite a spill into the Muskoka River. She likely took him home to get into some clean clothes."
"Ah, that must be it" Mr. Drew said. Hannah returned to getting the supper on the table while Mr. Drew went upstairs to change. As he approached his bedroom, he noted a sliver of light underneath the closed door. "Odd," he thought, "I'm sure I turned off my light before I left this morning. Maybe Hannah left it on while cleaning. Unlike her, though."
Mr. Drew's thoughts were interrupted abruptly as he entered his bedroom. There, in the middle of the bedroom stood six-foot tall Ned Nickerson, without a stitch of clothing!
"Jeepers, Mr. Drew!" exclaimed Ned, as he hastened to cover his private area with his hands.
Mr. Drew averted his eyes, to afford the lad some privacy. "Why, Ned, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here."
Ned scrambled to grab a blanket that lay folded at the foot of the bed. "Well, the gang went for a picnic, and I took an awful spill."
"So I heard." Mr. Drew couldn't help but stifle a smile at the young man's apparent embarrassment. He thought that unusual, and said so. "Ned, why the rush to cover up so?" he asked, "After all, I've been a guest in the locker room after many an Emerson football victory. It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've seen you in the altogether."
As Ned moved his hands away from his groin to secure the blanket, Mr. Drew noted the reason for Ned's sudden shyness. There was an obvious tumescence there between the young man's legs. There, surrounded by a massive thicket of dark hair, young Ned had an erection!
"Ah, I see the dilemma, Ned." Carson Drew said, again hiding his amusement.
Ned wrapped the blanket around his waist, but the erect phallus was still clearly outlined. "I'm sorry, Mr. Drew," Ned stammered. "This seems to be happening to me more and more lately. I hope I didn't offend you."
"Nonsense, Ned," Mr. Drew responded. "All fellows your age go through such, um, difficulties." Carson counseled.
"I know, sir. I've heard the fellows talk in the locker room and such." Ned attempted to push the phallus down, which served only to accentuate the swelling.
"Ah, the locker room; a virtual fountain of knowledge for young men. It's true, son, that young men are sure to encounter erection of their male organ. The important thing to remember, Ned, is not to let those...things...push one into situations one is not ready for. Young ladies, for example, are not familiar with the working of the average male and..."
"I understand, Mr. Drew," Ned interjected. "I would never try to force my intentions on any young lady, especially...well, you know".
"I do, indeed, son, and I appreciate your honesty."
"But, Mr. Drew, what's a fellow to do? When my, er, uh, my manhood gets like this, it seems nothing short of an icy shower will make it go away. That's what I was getting ready to do when you walked in."
"Well, Ned, that may be a question for your own dad to answer."
"Oh, I could never ask him, Mr. Drew. My parents are quite devout, as you know. They are not as modern minded as you are, sir."
"Well, I like to think of myself as a modern thinker. It is 1937, after all."
"Sir, do you mind if I get dressed while we talk? I feel sort of awkward like this."
"Go ahead son. I'm sure your little problem is under control now."
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Drew. Just talking about it, well, about s--s--sex and all has made it even more rigid."
Mr. Drew chuckled. He remembered well the nature of being a young man and the attendant anxieties.
"Perhaps I could head on down for dinner and leave you alone to take your shower, where you can take matters in hand."
"I'm sorry, sir? Take matters...? I don't understand" said Ned.
"You know, Ned." Carson responded. Ned stared blankly. "Surely you've heard of self pleasuring, Ned? Don't young lads of your age still chat about these things after lights out in the dorm?"
"Golly, Mr. Drew. Well, sure I've heard the boys talking, but I am well aware that such things sap a fellow's strength. Coach says those actions can render a man useless for his future wife. And it certainly isn't morally acceptable...is it?"
Carson Drew smiled widely, ready to laugh at what he though was Ned's little joke. then he realized the lad was serious. "Ned, you don't mean you've never touched yourself vigorously? Never rubbed your manhood until..." Ned looked crestfallen. "Oh, Ned, don't look so concerned."
"How can I not, Mr. Drew? I feel as though I'm missing out on something vital." Ned moaned. "What does this um, self-pleasuring entail, sir?"
Carson approached the bed, where Ned remained standing. "Sit down here, son." he said, patting the side of the bed.
Ned walked toward his mentor. As he stepped forward, he stumbled slightly, and the blanket around his waist came undone, exposing his virile member. The erect phallus bobbed a bit and settled at a 45 degree angle. He scrambled again to cover up.
"Never you mind, Ned; just sit here next to me." Mr. Drew tossed the blanket aside as Ned sat next to him, completely naked with an erect penis. His manhood throbbed and bobbed a bit again as he sat down, with the head of the organ coming to rest just above his navel. The tip of his erection shone with a clear viscous fluid.
"Ned, I want you to know that what I'm about to show you is probably one of the most universal pastimes among boys your age. Whether it's morally acceptable or not is between you and your pastor, though I'd venture to say he's more than aware that boys, and men for that matter, engage in it. Now, first I want you to grasp your penis firmly in your fist."
"Like this?" Ned asked as he awkwardly grasped his erection. He gasped as his hand slid over the shining head of his penis.
"No, no, son, more like this." Mr. Drew said as he lifted Ned's arm and set the football players' hand aside. Then, using his right hand, Mr. Drew held Ned's penis gently in his fist.
Ned gasped louder. "Mr. Drew, what are you doing? Surely this is wrong!" he exclaimed, though Carson Drew noted he did not remove the offending hand.
"Now Ned; I'm just showing you the way to bring yourself pleasure. My motives are selfish, I admit. I can't have you trying to convince my daughter that she should take on wifely duties before the two of you are married." As he spoke, Carson slid his fist up and down Ned's decidedly harder penile shaft.
Their lesson was interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Hannah Gruen. "Mr. Drew, dinner is on the table." she called.
"In just a minute, Hannah." Drew responded.
Ned doubled over and rolled away, dislodging Carson's hand from his penis. "Golly sir, that was close. What if Mrs. Gruen had walked in?"
"She won't, my lad. Hannah knows better than that. Now, come on back over here."
"No, thank you, sir. I believe I've learned enough about this, this self pleasuring."
"It has a name, Ned," Mr. Drew responded patiently. "It is called masturbation and, I repeat, it's perfectly natural."
Ned looked squarely at Carson Drew. He could tell the lawyer was in earnest. He scooted himself back over to the edge of the bed. His penis, which had never softened, now had a glistening bead of moisture at the tip.
"Do you see that, Ned?" Mr. Drew pointed at the fluid, now gently oozing down the front of Ned's shaft. "That's called pre-coital fluid, though undoubtedly the fellows on the team have another name for it. They may call it pre-cum or..."
"Dave Evans calls it love juice," Ned blurted out quickly. "Mr. Drew, I appreciate your wanting to help me and all, but I still feel kind of strange sitting here naked while you're fully clothed. Maybe I could put my clothes on, and just-"
Carson cut Ned off. "No need, son. I think I know how to make you feel more comfortable." With that, Carson Drew stood up and began to remove his tie. In a flash, he was as naked as Ned.
"Jeepers, Mr. Drew," said Ned. "You sure have a big, um..."
"Oh, come now, Ned. Surely the boys at school have names for this," Mr. Drew said, as he hefted his flaccid manhood.
"Well, sure, sir, but that's locker room talk. Not for polite company."
"Since it's just us here, son, what say we use the common terms? Now, if I was one of your chums, say Dave Evans or Burt Eddleton, what would you boys be calling it?"
Ned hesitated just a moment. "A hard-on, I guess.
"Ah, yes. The common language of the garden variety American lad. A hard-on it is, Ned!"
Carson Drew sat down next to Ned again. He took his own member into his hand and squeezed, causing it to begin to come to life. Ned watched as Carson toyed with it, gazing in awe as it swelled to a respectable six and a half inches. Ned's own, measured during a night of fraternity hijinks, was a healthy seven inches.
"Let see if you are an apt pupil, Ned. Give your `hard-on' some attention."
Ned took his penis into hand and began to emulate Mr. Drew's motions. He moved his hand up and down over the erect phallus, catching some of the leaking fluid and spreading it over his organ. As he did, he noted the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.
"Jeepers, Mr. Drew. This feels wonderful"
Carson was busy manipulating his own erection. "So it does, Ned. So it does," he said through gritted teeth. Though 100% heterosexual, Carson had to admit he was excited by watching this young man stroke himself, especially since he was aware the lad was likely experiencing this for the first time. A knock on the door interrupted their reverie.
"Mr. Drew, your dinner is getting cold!" scolded Hannah. "And now you have a guest."
Carson tried to sound as nonchalant as he could while maintaining his strokes on his penis. Ned, however, recoiled once again, assuming a fetal position on the bed. "A guest, Hannah?" Carson grunted.
"Yes, it's Ned's father. He's been looking all over for Ned. I told him to wait in your study, but..."
"But I have to find my son!" came a booming male voice. "Is Ned in there with you, Drew?" said Mr. Nickerson as the door to the bedroom opened.
"Golly!" exclaimed Ned, as he rolled onto the floor. Carson Drew stood, naked and erect as Mr. Nickerson stormed into the room. Hannah was already descending the stairs.
"Drew, I want to know where-" Mr. Nickerson stopped abruptly, noting Carson's nudity and obvious arousal. "Why, Drew, I...uh...Had no idea...I...your housekeeper said you were in here with...I'm very, very sorry. I didn't know-" Mr. Nickerson stopped again, noting Ned's Emerson College sweater tossed across the lawyer's dresser.
"Ned's sweater," Mr. Nickerson said. "His letterman's sweater; he'd never leave that behind. He'd be very sure to-" Mr. Nickerson peered directly into the lawyers' eyes.
"Carson Drew," he said, menacingly, "where is my son?"
To be continued?