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Chapter 14
DaeDae: Wat the hell you mean this yo real house?
Darren: Instead of spendin money on cars and rims and chains I bought a house. Im not tryin to be a dope boi all my life nigga. The only person who know bout this is my Grandma cuz its in her name till Im old enough. I dont bring nobody here not even my fam. Come on lets go inside cuz im hungry as fuck and I know you are too. We can talk over dinner.
He got out the car and walked up to the front door and sure enough he pulled out the keys and went inside.. My head is killing me. Im having dreams of my dead twin and my family is falling apart, and then to top it all off my love life ( if thats wat this is) is going places I only dreamed about. So I ask myself this again.... is it ok to feel a lil bit happy cuz I have a nigga who so far wants all the things I want and is proving himself everyday? I jus lost my other half, my heart, my brother...... Ugh this is too much for me Im lost and dont know wat to do or who to turn too...
It wasn't until Darren came back outside that I realized I had been sittin in the car for like 30 minutes.
Darren: Damn bae you that mad? If I thought you was gon be this mad I would have told you sooner, its jus that with all thats going on I thought I would wait...
Even though he was this hardcore dope boi the look in his eyes he had right now made my heart melt and my insides wet! I got out the car and pulled him close and gave him a soft kiss.
DaeDae: Lets go inside bae so we can talk.
I grabbed his hand and he lead me into the house and it was nothing like I expected it to be. I thought he was gonna have no furniture and just drugs everywhere or something stupid, but I gotta say his place was set up nice and he had a style that totally said him. As he lead me into the lil den area I was speechless. Of course he had his big ass plasma and all his game systems and the big pretty ass couch.
Darren; Why you actin like you scared to be in here? Relax and chill out bae. This yo house too now..
DaeDae: Damn bae I didn't expect it to be like this....
Darren: You thought it was gon be some thug ass ghetto shit huh? Haha
DaeDae: Don't take this the wrong way but yeah...
Darren: You not the only one who likes nice things... Come on dinner is ready..
He lead me through a doorway and into the dining room and like the perfect gentleman he pulled my chair out for me then he went and sat on the other end of the table. I couldn't help but think that he had planned this all along. I still feel this nigga is playing wit my feelings so Imma test his ass. I know its wrong to play games wit people head but hell I shot my brother over a nigga and I'm not bout to make the same fucking mistake twice!
Darren's point of View
My feelings are all over the place!! Do I love this nigga? Yes Do I wanna spend my life wit him? Yes.... Then why do I feel so horrible feeling like the luckiest nigga on earth? I mean he just lost his brother... his twin brother at that, and I just lost my best friend. It feels so wrong to feel happy and we both just lost someone so close to us. I feel bad that I planned this dinner but I do wanna try to make this time easier for him..... ( shut up I know its not gonna be easy but damn a nigga did say try! stop judging me and no Im not doing this for some ass...) I could tell he was feeling like I was doing this for sex and I also know he gonna try me like im a basic ass nigga but I'm ready.... lol... Imma let him play his lil game...
DaeDae: How long have you been planning to get me alone like this? Cuz the food was almost done and everything was all set up when we got here.
Darren: Since yesterday when your Mom asked me if I had a place to take you that nobody knew about. She really does care bout what happens to you.
DaeDae: She has a funny way of showing it...
Darren You need to eat bae, its your favorite...
DaeDae: I see that... It looks good
Darren: It should be its my recipe.
DaeDae: So you cook?
Darren: When I need too. My mom does work 12 hour shifts and rarely has time to cook and my brothers and I have to eat so I learned.
DaeDae: Who taught you?
Darren: Myself, my Mom jus gave me helpful tips...
I watched him pick through it but the nigga was fuckin the shit up...I couldn't help but smile a lil..
Darren: So you ready to talk to me fa real or you still need time?
He stopped eating and looked me dead in my eyes for what seemed like for ever....
DaeDae's Point of View
Dammit he threw me off guard with that one. All I could do was look him in the eye.
DaeDae: Let's go in the room
Darren got up and walked over to me and took me by the hand and lead me up stairs to his room. It took up the whole second floor. His room was bigger than mine. I never knew he made that much money to afford stuff like this..
Daedae: Bae how can you afford this?
Darren: Cuz a nigga got a good ass business mind and I made some real good investments thanks to my Grandma. Once I graduate I dont have to work but I wanna go to college to show my brothers that if I can get out da hood then they can too. I dont want them growin up thinkin the only way to have something is by bein a dope boi....
This nigga here is full of fuckin surprises... I dont even know what to say..
Darren: Come on bae lets get in bed...
He walked over to the side of the bed and he started to take off his clothes. He seemed to move in slow motion.. He took off his shirt and let his pants fall to the floor...
Darren: you gon stand by the door all night? lol... Come get in bed wit me babes....
He walked over to me and all he had on was some boxers and socks and just watching him made the flood gates open up. He lead me over to the bed and began to undress me. He kneeled down and took off each one of my shoes. Then he worked his way up to my belt buckle and began to undo it. He zipped down my zipper and let my pants fall down to the floor. I guess he was waiting for me to step out of cuz for a min he didn't do anything. He pulled me close and I could feel his breath against my skin. And in one smooth motion he stood up while taking my shirt off an I stood there in my boxer briefs and beater....
darren: Come on bae... Why you actin all shy and scared? Are you ok?
DaeDae: Im fine... Its jus yo bed so big.
I know I know I know..... lame right? I dont know when I lost control of the situation but I sure as hell aint givin him no ass! I mean that shit!
Darren: Haha you trippin fool. If you scared come hold on to ya boi. I got you.
I will admit hearing those words made me hold onto him faster and tighter than somebody thats drowning. Maybe I was drowning and he was the one sent to come breathe life back into me. And it was as if he knew what I was thinking cuz next thing I knew he was kissing me and I don't know how to explain it. Our hearts start beating as one and I felt so alive and I wanted more of him and I could feel the kiss turn into more of lust than passion and my body wanted more. I felt him start to pull away and I pulled him into me while scratching his back and it was then that he broke the kiss
Darren: Damn nigga wats up wit you? You that hungry for the dick? You said you wanted to talk. I kissed you cuz I could feel you was uncomfortable but wat was that?
I was in complete shock... I thought thats what he wanted. It was the only reason why i suggested we come up here.... Im so fuckin confused I looked at him and begin to cry...... WTF is wrong with me? Am I this fucked up in the head to think that all niggas want from me is sex or money, or a connection to my dad? I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and for the first time I don't want them too... Darren reached up and wiped the tears from my face and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. We laid there like that for a minute.
Darren: Ya know for someone who is so "hard", behind closed doors you are the softest nigga ever.....
At first I got mad but then I thought about it and he had a point....
DaeDae: nigga shut da fuck up!!
Darren: My bad bae... Im just tryin to get you to relax.
DaeDae: I know baby and I appreciate it. You have really surprised me these last few days.
Darren: I told you from jump I go hard for you no matter wat papi...
DaeDae: so you speak spanish now? lol
Darren: No but a nigga bout to learn cuz you not bout to be talkin shit to me in Spanish and I dont understand you!
DaeDae: watevever boi
He think he so fuckin cute and sexy right now tryin to get me to relax. The fucked up part about it is, its working. FUCK!!! (help!!!)
Darren: Fa real baby talk to me. Tell me wats going on. I want so much to help and be here for you but I need you to open up to me. I promise at the end of the day and after everything is said and done.... Imma still love you and be by yo side in the morning and every morning after that...
Do I really want to open up to him? Has he proved that he really wants to be with me or do I play my normal games? He has already done so much for me and he has alot to lose as well.....
DaeDae: Im so confused right now. I dont know what to feel. I killed my brother. The only one in this world who was always there no matter what. Friends came and went but I knew he was always going to be there for me. He understood me and now that he's gone, I feel I have no reason to go on. Apart of me has died and I.... I killed him. I am the reason that my whole world is coming to an end. Its all because I couldn't let go of past hurts. Everyone thinks time heals or pretends it does but it dnt..... It fucking dnt!
The tears began to fall again. I felt myself getting madder by the second and once again I felt that rage begin to rise from deep within and I felt myself embrace it.
Darren: Baby I can't sit here and say that I understand but I lost someone who I was close to as well. JJ was my best friend, my only friend and he was the only one who knew who I really was and how I felt about you. He was the one who encouraged me to chase after my dreams and he was the one who was there when I picked out this house and everything in it. He inspired me so much and even though I dont know what its like to lose a twin I do know what its like to lose a brother...
For the first time I saw tears fall from Darren's eyes and the rage I felt building up inside me fade away. I looked into his eyes and I saw that he was hurting jus as much as I was. It was then I realized what JJ meant in my dream. It was as if he was right there in my head because I heard his voice whisper "Tell him mi amor"
DaeDae: Bae?
He slowly lifted his head and we were staring into each others eyes as I wiped the tears from his face..
Darren: Yes?
DaeDae: I love you.......