I was completely speechless for the second time. I was so not happy. I finally looked him in his eyes and I gave him the answer that felt right.
DaeDae: I want nothing more than to say yes but I'm not going to. The reason that I'm not gonna say yes right now is because all I can think about is how much I want yo dick inside me, how much I wanna taste every part of yo sexy body. I dnt want that to cloud my judgment. Plus I really don't know yo ass like that. How bout we get to know each other more and we go from there. It may not seem like but I'm in a real fragile state right now and I don't wanna confuse lust with love.
He sat there for a moment. It looked like he was searching for the right words to say and he wanted to be extra careful.
Ramon: I really respect that you were honest and let me just say that I will wait until you ready. I want you to know I'm here for your heart. I been crushin on you since I moved down here. You not like all the other Miami gay boys, it's something about that I feel drawn too and I wanna spend forever finding out what that something is.
Is this nigga for real? Does he think I'm stupid? I heard all this shit once before and I damn sure aint bout to fall for it twice. But ima be cool, wait and see what this nigga bout. I gotta keep my guard up and give him a run for his money. He not bout to hurt me like the last one did. I know what yall thinking and you might be right. I shouldn't hold what the last nigga did against him and I'm not. Im gonna give him a chance but he only getting 1. I looked up at him and he seemed to look defeated.
DaeDae: ummmm not to be insensitive or ruin the moment but that was gay and lame as fuck. lol
He looked up at me confused then he smiled.
Ramon: lol it kinda was... lol... you just make me lose myself and I end up soundin lame... lol
DaeDae: lmao... Dnt lose yourself in me pa that's not good but I feel you... word of advice, if we gon give this a try and u gon be my top. Ima need you to BE my top...lol... you gotta be on yo shit papi dnt get me wrong I love it all but my top gotta meet certain standards.
Ramon: I got you pa and that's all ima say.
DaeDae: You learn fast
I gave him my infamous smile and saw him catch his breath.
Ramon: Damn.
DaeDae: what's wrong?
Ramon: it's nothing papi. So wats the deal with your parents?
DaeDae: damn str8 to the point huh?
Ramon: I learn fast....
He flashed a smile that I've never seen and my heart stopped... this lil mixed boy jus might give me a run for my money... I like that, cuz I dnt need a weak nigga.
DaeDae: ima give you the short almost long version cuz a nigga sleepy. Lol... My parents were high school sweethearts. They went to my high school. From what I know they both were smart and soo in love with each other they were inseparable. My mom got pregnant and had us when she was 17. When they graduated Dad was Valedictorian and mom was salutatorian. My mom got accepted to Yale and dad wanted to go to University of Miami. My mom's parents had died that year when they graduated. My dad talked her into going to school and he would get a job and take care of us till she graduated and stuff. They were engaged and everything was cool. A year later my dad's brother got popped by the Feds and was put away for life. At the time his brother was the up and comin on the streets and doin big things so when he went down everybody looked to my Dad to step in. With my dad having 2 mouths to feed and my mom's tuition he did what he had too. My dad changed the game completely. He made sure that we never wanted for anything. We did everything together. We were his perfect little clones like I told you before. He used to make us fight the neighborhood kids to toughen us up but he said he wanted us to be able to stand up to anyone and not be punks. JJ loved it. He always won and even at an early age I saw that he was dad's favorite. I was the shy, quiet non-confrontational twin and everyone knew it. My dad always pushed me until 1 day when I was 6 he made me fight this kid who was 8 and a lot bigger than me. I was scared and didn't wanna fight him. I was cryin and everything but my dad made me. The boy was kickin my ass and then JJ jumped in to help and the boy was beatin him up and something in me clicked. I attacked this kid and nearly beat him to death. He was in a coma for a month. After that I never lost a fight and no1 ever wanted to fight me. That's when I started to hate my dad. I guess you can say he made me this way. But anyway Mom found out that she had grandparents that were rich and when they found her they paid for her schooling and when they died they left her everything. It turns out that they were old money and by that I mean they had money from the time of the great depression.
Ramon: lol your stupid pa
DaeDae: You laughing but I'm serious. I goggled em. Mom came home and she found out what dad was doing with us and ever since then it went downhill. You're Puerto Rican so you know how they are bout family. She took us back with her and got sole custody of us. When we moved back down here and she got the job offer to work in the public defender's office it really got worse. It seemed that every case she had, it was something to do with my dad or they tried to link her to his criminal activities. She worked her ass off to keep her private life and work life separate. She worked her way up and they made her fight for everything she has now. She never let the fact that she had money affect her work ethic. She has a string of businesses from gas stations to fortune 500 companies and everything in-between. As far as my dad goes well, the other half my mom doesn't control he does. They both pay a lot of money to keep us out of the mix and to protect us. We were kidnapped twice. My mom has a security team following us at all times and my dad has his goons following us everywhere. He have people in our school, church, the clubs, even some of our friends work for him but they won't tell us who so that makes me extra careful and cautious bout who I trust. I know this is a lot to process but if you tryin to be with me you have to know this 1 most important fact. My parents will do whatever it takes to protect us even if they have to kill each other. It's gotten to the point to where they can't even be in the same room. They resent each other and I think they hate each other.
Ramon: Damn pa I'm so sorry. No wonder you scared to trust and let anyone in.
DaeDae: ha ha yeah I'm damaged goods.
I looked at him and he was looking mad as hell.
DaeDae: What's wrong?
Ramon: You're not damaged goods and you bet not ever let me hear you say that shit again!
DaeDae: Ummmm chill papi I was jus playing.
Ramon: I dnt give a fuck! I'm so serious right now. It's not cute and that's not who you are at all.
Ok a nigga is like wtf? Right now. This nigga swag is makin me wet and not a lot of niggas can do that. Hell no nigga has done it.
DaeDae: My bad pa... Look it's late and yo cuzin and Mel gon be here in like 3 hours so let's try to get some rest.
I got up to walk over to the bed and he grabbed my hand.
Ramon: Nunca venderte corto cuando usted me ronda! No me gusta esa mierda... Usted vale m†s de lo que nunca se sabe, al menos para m ° pap†... no puede verla todav °a pero que mi coraz n... (Don't ever sell yourself short when you round me! I hate that shit... You worth more than you will ever know, at least to me daddy... you may not see it yet but you my heart...)
After that all a nigga can say was...
DaeDae: Come on pa lets go to bed...
We crawled in my bed and he wrapped his arms around me and for the first time I knew what it felt like to have someone hold you and how it feels to feel safe. I drifted off to sleep thinking to myself I hope this is real? I WANT this to be Real?