Change of Direction

April 2, 1997

A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike Allegretto's Change of Pace

This story is based on and derived from the situations and characters developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97 on ASSTG. If this story is published on any newsgroup under this author's account, it is done with the express permission of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of this work is permitted without this copyright attribution included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving. Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.

Change of Pace Fixer@servtech.com (Mike Allegretto) 1997/02/16

Reprise from A Change of Pace

1. Chapter

"That was dirty pool, mother" Jack complained.

She looked up from some picture album she was paging through, and set her coffee down. She looked her new daughter directly in the eye. "Well, you've had all morning to explore your own feminine body rather than some movie star's. Have you learned anything?"

Jack just shook her head. How could she expect her to talk about something like that. Gosh mom, I never thought I'd have the chance to inspect a real hymen - thanks for letting me do it first hand?

"About what I said." Jack broached the subject nervously.

"About needing more time?" she smiled wickedly.

"You can't really count that as consent." Jack objected.

"The statement 'I need more time', especially in hot and heavy breathing, would be interpreted by most people as a request." She countered while flipping to another page of the photo album.

"You said I could change back when I wanted to." Jack tried switching to a different tack.

"Only after you are acclimated." she reminded him. "You have not acclimated."

"That's for sure." Jack commented staring at her nails. "Whatever possessed me to paint my nails?"

"That would have been the Training Wheels." Laurie explained "I gave you some of Scully's thought patterns and habits. I actually alternated between physical changes and slipping in little mental assists. "

"Like what else?" Jack queried.

"As in last night you knew when your hair was a mess, young lady." Laurie pointed at Jack's new black hair. "That needs brushing before you even think of showing your face anywhere."

Jack shuddered at the thought of showing this new face anywhere. Still it was probably something that was better left unsaid. "I take it that the 'Training Wheels' are gone?"

"Those were Scully things - you have to learn how to be your own woman, Jacqueline. That's how we all manage it." Laurie explained, pausing to look at the photo album again. "Still I might decide that you were only giving provisional consent. Should you ever want to be male again I'm not sure I want to set the precedent that consent can be obtained after you get the girl on the edge of orgasm."

"You might consider it provisional?" Jack jumped at the chance. Still she had to be careful. She knew that when her mother said she might do something it meant that she had further points for Jack to listen to first.

"Even with an eight hour extension you continued to explore only the physical aspects directly related to sex." Jacqueline could recognize that her mother was now in lecture mode. "Do you really believe that life for a woman is about getting laid and having orgasms? I expected you to learn far more."

"Mother, you were throwing the changes at me every fifteen minutes. I couldn't even finish looking at one thing before two others were already changed!" Jack protested.

"I did notice a lot of nail polish remover was gone." Laurie conceded. "Maybe I should have provided the training wheels on How to paint your nails at the same time as the idea that they needed to be painted."

"Well I can't possibly learn anything about what really being a woman at a pace like that. If you want me to find out any of these 'sacred' truths I'll need more time."

Oh shit, Jack things to herself. Her mother's grin left no doubts. She savored her victory while gazing longingly at the photo album again.

"So how long before I'm acclimated enough to be turned back." Jacqueline asked, resigning herself to the fact that it was now her name for at least awhile.

"Oh, I don't know. At least a year." her mother replied sipping on her coffee.

"A Year! But what about school?"

"Don't worry, records are easy to take care of." she reassured new daughter.

Jacqueline sighed realizing she had no choice. "Well, I suppose I could stand a year."

Laurie finished her coffee without comment. Jacqueline suddenly realized she didn't recognize the photo album her mother had been looking through all morning.

"Do you want to take a look?" Laurie offered, spinning it "I've kept it safe all these years."

Jacqueline took the album and started looking. They were old family photos. He could recognize his grandmother from when she was about Mom's age. But who was the teenage boy? He didn't remember any uncles.

Oh shit, suddenly he knew who the pictures were of.

"Grandmother gave you an initiation too?" she asked.

Laurie nodded. "But if anyone asks, that's your Uncle Larry. They don't have to know that he doesn't exist anymore."

"How long were you stuck as Larry?" Jacqueline asked.

"Those were taken when I was almost eighteen, about three years before you were born." Laurie explained. "The 'initiation' was a graduation present from my mother. It took me three years for me to learn enough Magic to do a Transformation Spell. Oh, did I forget to mention that you will have to apply the reverse Transformation Spell yourself?"

Jacqueline gulped. If it had taken her mom three years she knew it would take her at least four. She was going to be female through college. She did not like this one bit at all.

"Wait a second," Jacqueline started running over the numbers aloud "If it took you three years to learn how to Transform yourself back, how could you have had me when you were twenty one?"

"Jacqueline, I certainly hope you know how babies are made, especially since it effects you far more directly now."

"No," she replied "How could you be turned into a guy when you were eighteen, take three years to learn how to turn yourself back, then meet dad, get married, get pregnant and give birth to me nine months later?"

"The truth is out there. "Laurie answered "There should be enough Scully left in you to come up with a rational explanation."

Oh god, Jacqueline just sat there numbly. "It took you three years to learn how to use the Transformation Spell, but you never did use it, did you?"

"Not until last night, darling daughter of mine." Laurie explained "I'm sure you can figure it out just as quickly. You know what they say - Like Mother, Like Daughter. And we both had a lot of catching up to do."

End Reprise

A Change of Direction by Tigger

1997 All Rights Reserved.

Chapter 7

"I'm not going to be pulled in just because you were!" Jacqueline stared icily. "I want to learn what I have to know as quickly as possible. I don't want to be female a month longer that I have to!"

"That's your choice."Laurie conceded "But you won't like some of the lessons required, especially if you really want to take them immediately."

"Just as long as it can really be over and done with in a year." Jacqueline seethed. "You had better not have been lying about that."

"Now Jacqueline, I never lied to Jack, and I won't lie to you. It can most assuredly be done in a single year." Laurie assured her daughter.

Of course, Laurie added to herself. You'll have to acclimate very quickly, since the most intricate portion of the Transformation Spell can only be learned while in the delivery room, and the final nuances while nursing your newborn.

"I don't believe you." was Jack's cold reply. Laurie's eyes slued to her Transformed son. "That book proves you lied to me. By omission, certainly and by making promises you did not intend to keep. You never intended to return me to normal."

Anger sparked in Laurie's eyes. "I beg to differ, young lady. If you had asked to end the Transformation it would have ended. Now it is beyond my power to reverse it."

The bleak lack of any emotion in her child's response chilled Laurie's soul. "Perhaps, but you have a world of history on your side," Jack lifted the album to her, "to prove that, without beforehand knowledge, the Transformed person is not going to make that decision because the full ramifications have been left. . ." the finely made fingers whirled in the air as if to pull the correct words out of the ether, "intentionally unclear?"

Laurie pursed her lips and refused to answer. "How long, Mother? How long has this. . . this abomination been inflicted on the men of our family? And how could you do it to me? And why should I believe you when you say that it is beyond your power?"

"ABOMINATION?" Laurie's temper was back in full measure. "How dare you call it that? It is a gift! A wonderful gift and you will damn well learn and accept that basic truth if you want any hope of returning to your pitiful male existence. I love you and I will not have you say or think otherwise. I loved Jack enough to give him these gifts of magic and womanhood because I have had both and wanted to share them with the son I love."

"Forgive me, Mother, if I don't share your enthusiasm for these . . . gifts." The disgusted look on Jack's face left no doubt of what he had wanted to say about those gifts. "And you did not answer my question, Mother, so I will answer it. Too long. This unwilling Transformation stunt has been going on for so long that you fail to see the wrong you have done to me, your son. Well, it ends here and now. I will be the last of our family."

"What??" Laurie's head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"I won't perpetuate this horror myself nor will I permit it to be perpetuated on any child of mine. I will not even bring a child into a world where you consider it your unequivocal right to take away that child's life and dreams because you think you know better."

Laurie went very still, the full import of what her child had just said shocked her into speechlessness. This was not going at all well and certainly not as it had gone with her own mother nor as Mum had told her it had gone with all the previous generations of her family. Had she done something wrong in casting her spell? Had she missed some key element of the enchantment that would have made Jacqueline more able to accept and enjoy her new situation? Choosing her words very carefully, she tried a more conciliatory tact. "You would deny me a grandchild to love?"

It did not work. "It ends with me, Mother."

"But you have already tasted the power of your femininity, and of your new sexuality. Before you can learn enough magic to change yourself back you may well end up pregnant."

"Even assuming I choose to be actively female, which is a stretch, there are ways of preventing conception. This is the Twentieth Century."

"Women on birth control have babies every day, Jacqueline. There is no foolproof way of preventing conception short of abstinence." And you won't be able to do that, my daughter, Laurie thought. Another little aspect of this Transformation is that your female needs are extremely well developed and demanding. Soon, your fingers will not be nearly enough for you.

"Again, assuming that something goes very wrong, there are ways of ending an unwanted pregnancy. And it will be unwanted, Mother. No child of my blood will come into this world because I cannot trust you."

All remaining color drained from Laurie's face. "You can't terminate, Jack." she whispered, not realizing that she had fallen back to using his male name. Seeing the look on her child's face, she hurried on. "It is not only a moral thing, daughter, it is a rule of magic, as well. Someone who deliberately snuffs out the spark of life from another human can never again wield the power."

"Then my dreams will die with the fetus, Mother, for I cannot, will not permit a child of mine to face what I am facing right now. I won't Transform him or her, but as long as you live, you are a threat because you don't believe there is anything wrong in stealing a dream."

"You keep saying that. What dream? You can become a male again, if you choose." and after you give me my grandchild she added in a whispered thought to herself, "What dreams have I taken from you?"

"College. It took you three years, Mother, so it will probably cost me at least that much. I will not play college sports. I won't go to a prom with my best girl on my arm. I won't learn all the things a man needs to know to live in a man's world as a man. You might as well have killed me, Mother, and have had done with it."

Tears came to Laurie's eyes. "You cannot mean that. You are just upset right now, overwrought. Honestly, Jack, it is not that bad. In fact, being a fellow's best girl at the prom really is rather wonderful, if you would just give it a chance. Nothing else needs to change. I am sorry I hurt you for I see now that I have, but I did not mean for it to be like this."

Jack watched his Mother's tears with a detachment born of a soul deep fury. "I will give you one chance, Mother. Reverse the spell, right now. Return me to normal, give me back the life I want for me instead of the one you want for me and I will not do anything to prevent having children. Otherwise, live with the fact that you have ended our line with your gleeful lack of concern for my wants and dreams."

If anything, the tears flowed harder. Last night, Laurie could have reversed the Transformation. She could have given her son back the life he evidently wanted enough to threaten her this way. Now, that was beyond even her power because the final spell she had cast upon his "request" for "more time" had been very carefully crafted so that only Jacqueline could reverse it. Which she could not do until she had learned the lessons and the magic necessary to effect and control the Transformation Spell on her own. Lessons that included giving birth and nurture to a child she now insisted she would never permit to be born. Goddess, what had she done?

"I have to leave." Laurie sobbed and ran from the room leaving a furious former son, now daughter, behind.

Twenty minutes later, a starkly composed Laurie returned to find Jack exactly as she had left her. She was simply sitting there, staring at the picture album. Goddess, but her son made a beautiful woman. Dark hair, dark flashing eyes and an olive complexion gave hints to the family's Gypsy ancestry. In the right period costume, the girl would have looked right at home in their Great Great Great Grandmother's caravan wagon, dancing to the rhythm of a tambourine for the coins men would toss her way and telling fortunes by fire light.

And the son she had given birth to hated the very thought of that. Probably hated her, too, for her part in it. Still, there was nothing more she could do about it. Laurie had spent the last fifteen minutes pouring over her ancestral texts, looking for a charm or potion or spell that would undo what she had done, but to no avail. She had done her work far too well in that respect and evidently not well enough in the sense of easing her child's acceptance of this change as the wonderful gift Laurie had seen it as. Now, she had no choice. She had to play this debacle out the only way she had left to her and hope, that in the end, she did not lose her child in the process.

With great care, she walked back to her seat across from her daughter and sat down. "I cannot undo the Transformation, Jack. I have gone through all my records, and no one except the Transformed One has ever been able to reverse the change successfully."

"So, others have found the change not to their liking?" The comment was snide and was meant to wound. Laurie did her best to ignore it.

Instead, she steeled herself not to rise to the spite in Jack's voice. There was nothing to be gained at this point by fighting. "According to my family records, there have been fifty male to female Transformations attempted in our family over the past two hundred years. Of that number, five men refused the final Transformation and were restored to their masculine state at the end of the first hour. Of the remaining cases, five members of our family who completed Transformation attempted to reverse the spell. The three who completed the learning succeeded in undoing Transformation and lived out their lives as men. However, the other two who tried to reverse the spell were not successful. One attempted the change before completing all the steps of the learning, and the other forced his mother to attempt a counter-spell. Both died."

Jack sat back, legs akimbo, in a posture of utter male dejection. It made Jacqueline look completely ridiculous and rather lewd, but Laurie bit her lip and said nothing. Trying to enforce the little niceties of ladylike deportment would not help Laurie's weak case with her daughter. Jacqueline looked up, her black eyes bleak and filling with tears. "Then it is over. I know you won't attempt it because you won't kill me, but in truth, I am not sure I wouldn't rather be dead right now."

"That is enough!" Laurie's ringing rebuke stunned Jack. "I will apologize one more time for my stupidity in thinking you might be intelligent enough, open enough, to appreciate what I did for you. However, you are alive. You are a beautiful, intelligent human being who happens to be female and that can be temporary. You have the potential to undo what you find so absolutely distasteful if you will only quit whining and get on with what must be done. You don't know anything about the power you could wield, but just so you might begin to understand, consider this. You say I have stolen your dreams, that I am denying you the opportunity to go to college as a male. If you complete the training and if you master the skills I will teach you, there is no reason that you cannot Transform yourself into your male self, at any age you desire. You want to be an eighteen year old again, then make it so when you perform the Transformation Spell on yourself. It will be within your capabilities."

"And all I have to do is learn your little magicks and do your little tests, is that it? Which you have already said I will find distasteful. Let's not forget that."

"No, in your current mind set, I imagine they will be bloody awful for you, but that cannot be helped. It is the only way that I can find in my records to undo what I have done without causing your death. For my part, I give you my most solemn oath that I will teach you everything you need to know as quickly as you can absorb and master the knowledge. In return, I want your promise that you will do nothing to try and accelerate your return to manhood. I won't teach you without that promise because, while I don't want to live with your unhappiness on my conscience, I refuse to be the cause of your death."

Jack considered that. Laurie wanted to squirm under the power of her unblinking stare. Goddess, but would Jacqueline be powerful once she learned to focus her craft. Finally, Jack drew herself up and spoke. "Very well, Mother. I agree and you have my promise on that score. Just one other thing, though. If I ever am given cause to believe that you are not being completely truthful with me again, or that you are playing games with me, I will leave and never come back. I will live the rest of my days as you have made me, but with one small change. I will have myself surgically sterilized so that this ends with me."

She is striking out, trying to hurt me, as she has been hurt, Laurie thought. She shook her head. This was going to be so very hard. Why had it not been hard for her and her mother? What had she done wrong with her own, beloved child? "Well. I guess that tells me what you really think of me. I could say that our family tradition says that I have done nothing to deserve that, but there are exceptions to every rule and you evidently are the one that proves it." She shrugged. No sense in avoiding the worst of it. "Very well. I will agree to your condition subject to one of my own. I cannot tell you everything. The tasks you must undertake have lessons that you must learn yourself. If I tell you what is going to occur in those cases, then you might as well not do them and you will not achieve your goal. You will simply have to trust me on this or we can go no further. You would lose your chance to master the Transformation Spell."

"Trusting you right now is difficult, Mother." Jack watched as her arrow shattered her mother's hard won calm, as she had intended it to do. Oddly, she felt a little ashamed. "All right. I agree to your condition, but my statement stands. Any other little non-truth and it is all over for you, for me and for whatever hope of family continuity you still might harbor."

"I cannot let you do that, Jack. That is your male ego talking and I will not permit you to do something that stupidly harmful to yourself just to lash out at me. If you attempt to leave, and if you follow through with your threat, I will use my magic to stop you. You know I can influence minds and I will make it impossible for you to take such a horrible step."

The hopeless shrug from her daughter nearly broke Laurie's heart. "You must do what you think you have to do, Mother, as must I. You've already taken away the things I thought I wanted, why not my free will, as well. Seems that would be the simplest thing all around. Abra Kadabra, Bibbity Bobbity Boo and Jack is a happy Jill. Or Jacqueline. No more muss or fuss. Must be easy as pie for a wheeler-dealer spell caster like you."

Laurie's answer was all but inaudible. "If I do that, you will never wield magic because once a mind is opened to magical suggestion, it is open forever. You cannot shield it against someone else's influence. Only free minds can focus the power of the Goddess. If I take away that choice, you will be Jacqueline for the rest of your life." She saw the 'so what' look in her daughter's eyes and hardened her heart and her voice. "The only difference between my way and your way, sweetie, is that I will have my grandchild. If you force me to take your mind, I will go all the way and turn you into the perfect wife and mother. I swear it! If your children are all I can have of you, then I will have them."

Jack was strangely unresponsive in light of her ultimatum. Laurie waited for her to say something, but she didn't. Finally, Jack stood and looked down at her Mother. "I guess that says it all. You hold all the cards. If I don't do as you say, I end up as I am - a baby farm for future generations of witches. Your kindness and concern for my feelings in all this almost makes me wish we lived in Salem. When do we start, Mother-darling?"

The cruel remark and the sarcasm dripping from what had been her son's favorite endearment cut at her soul like a barely sharp knife, leaving ragged bleeding bits in its wake. She would not cry, not again. Not in front of her. "Tomorrow," she rasped out. "I need some time to prepare and to fix things like those records you mentioned. You need some time to deal with the anger in your soul. Tomorrow is soon enough." Probably too soon, she thought, but the early lessons would be the easiest, and Laurie would be the one who decided when the objectives of those lessons had been achieved.

"Very well, Mother. I will be in the garden." and with that, Jacqueline turned on her heel and strode to the garden.

The absurd picture of it drew forth a watery chuckle from Laurie after the door slammed behind Jack. She had looked so silly trying to walk like a man in that compact, curvy body. Bouncing like that probably hurt like hell. Well, dealing with her first brassiere was a milestone in any girl's life. Only most girls started with training bras fitted over a dreaming young girl's hopeful almost-bumps. Her daughter had to face a garment intended for a grown woman and was going to have to fit it over fully formed B or C cup sized breasts.

How was she going to pull this off, she asked herself again. How was she going to get her child through all the training, all the lessons that she would need to come into the fullness of her powers? Especially when the entire process had to culminate with the ultimate expression of the woman-power, the giving and nurturing of life? Somehow, she had to manipulate her child into accepting . . . no, that was not enough. Her child had to glory in his new found womanliness in order to gain the power. Somehow.

Sighing, she rose from her seat and headed for her library. First things first, she reminded herself, wearily. She needed to make a place in this strange new world for her daughter. There were records to change and memories to adjust before Jacqueline could take Jack's place. After that, she would have to go clothes shopping. Jack could get by on sweats and castoffs for today, but she would need enough real clothes to get started tomorrow, and Laurie's own wardrobe would not do for her daughter. For one thing, her stuff was not appropriate for a teenager, and for another, her things would probably not fit Jack. Laurie's experienced fashion-eye told her that Jacqueline was slimmer in the waist and bigger in the bust than her Mother.

What a waste, she thought, casting such lovely pearls before such a male chauvinist swine. Well, it was her job to help her daughter learn to appreciate her new riches. It was much more than she had let on to Jack. If Laurie was right about her daughter's potential, Jacqueline's power was going to be greatly needed in the dark days to come.

A Change of Direction Chapter 8

"Where the hell was he?" his still sleep fogged mind demanded. Slowly, he fought his way to full wakefulness and tried to take stock of his surroundings. Nothing was familiar. Nothing was as it had been when he had fallen asleep or as it had been for the last four years of his life. Only his window that overlooked Mum's garden was where it belonged, but everything else was. . . . wrong.

His basketball poster, his model planes and cars, his sports memorabilia - every single thing that had been his was gone. In their place were odd, fragile looking little nick-nacks, crystal statues, dolls and a rock singer poster. A male rock singer that Jack could not stand in the least.

And all his furniture was gone, too, replaced by a very feminine, ivory colored ensemble. Even the bed he'd fallen asleep in was gone, replaced instead by a frill-laden canopy bed.

Mother. It had to be Mother. His hands came up to cup the soft mounds of flesh that now a part of him. It had not been just a dream, after all. A nightmare, maybe, and from the looks of his room, Mother had used her magic to up the ante while he'd slept.

He started to get out of bed and nearly fell when instinctive movements learned over the course of a lifetime did not take into account his new center of gravity. Overbalanced by his new weight distribution, he only just caught himself on the bed frame. Carefully, and with a great deal of conscious effort, he rose again and moved about to inspect "his" room more closely.

His large dresser had been replaced by an ornate armoire while his desk had become a vanity table covered with a variety of tubes, bottles and pots that held things he really did not want to think about. On entering his walk-in closet, he was greeted by nothing but rows of empty hangers and shelves. Every hint of his male identity had been ripped from the room, as ruthlessly and as completely as his masculinity had been ripped from him.

In stunned disbelief, Jack stood there in the door to his closet and quietly mourned the loss of all the little prizes and treasures of a lifetime. A stray lock of hair fell across his face and resisted his best effort to clear it out of his eyes.

Slowly, he walked over to the vanity and found the very feminine hairbrush he knew would be there. His mother was nothing if not attentive to the fine details. Jack quickly came to rue that he'd never gone through a "long-hair" stage as a male so that he could have known how to deal with the shaggy mane. Brushing that tangled black mass was itself a tortuous experience in self abuse. He quietly admitted to himself he should have listened to Mum's advice and brushed it out more thoroughly the previous morning.

He brushed it furiously until he could not find any more snarls and then tried to figure out how to keep the damn stuff out of his face. Rubber bands seemed the simplest solution, and soon his mane was gathered behind his head. It was not elegant, but he could see again. A butch cut was looking better and better to him.

What to wear was the next question and there was only one answer immediately evident. A pair of white panties and a folded white cotton terrycloth robe rested on the cushioned stool in front of the vanity table. A pair of pink rubber shower slippers, rested beside the stool on the floor.

Jack stripped off the sweatshirt and man's jogging shorts he had worn since yesterday and donned the garments his mother had left for him. He was disappointed, but not especially surprised, when his discarded clothes had simply disappeared before his eyes.

As ready as he was likely to be, Jack moved out of the relative sanctuary of his room, and went off to face his Mother. He found her seated at the kitchen table, sipping coffee, a plate of toast in front of her. Her chin rested heavily in the palm of her free hand. Dark smudges bagged under her half open eyes and fatigue lines cut starkly into her normally smooth face.

Walking past her to pour a cup for himself, he turned back to her. "Busy night, Mother-darling?" he asked with heavy irony, as he sat down across from her.

She cocked one of her eyes at him, but displayed no other emotion at his jibe. "Obviously, Jacqueline. There was a lot that had to be done if we were going to be able to start your training today." She reached down and pulled up a stack of papers from the chair beside her and slid them across the table. "You will need these. ID's, driver's license, health insurance card and all your other personal effects and accounts, but all now set up in the name of Jacqueline Donovan instead of John."

"And my friends? The people who know me?"

"Now remember only Jacqueline, and as for friends, some adjustments had to be made there, too. You have a history of being one of the girls instead of one of the boys. You are the cheerleader instead of the cheered. And before you jump on me, no, you don't have a boy friend. Given your looks, that may raise some issues for you, but I figured you would rather deal with those questions instead having to deal with a man."

Jack's face fell as he took it all in. Finally, he sighed and took a bracing sip of his coffee. "So, my life is wiped as clean as everything that was mine was blotted out of my room. Is nothing mine, anymore, Mother?"

She was simply too tired to argue with him. The magic she had expended the night before had taken its toll on all her resources. She was exhausted and needed rest. "Had to be done. Step one of your trip back to your old male self. Every little reminder of your masculinity will set back your progress. Remember, the requirement is that you must fully acclimate to being a woman." She looked up and saw the pain in her daughter's face and immediately understood. "Oh, don't look that way." she said disgustedly. "None of your things are gone forever. The instant your chromosomes are XY again, they will reappear. Just like magic."

Jack could not quite hid the glimmer of a smile at her little joke, but tried anyway. "So, what is the plan for today, teacher? What little punishments are on the docket, today?"

Laurie wanted to scream, but didn't. It wouldn't do any good and she needed to conserve what energy she still had. With a calmness that did not remotely resemble her actual feelings, she answered, "As long as you consider it punishment, Jacqueline, we might as well do nothing. Get this straight, okay? You have to work at this. Moreover, you have to want it. It would be best and perhaps even easiest, if you could want the experience for itself, for the simple pleasure of being a beautiful woman. But if you cannot want it for that, then at least want it because it is the only way you are going to achieve your goal."

With great effort, Laurie used both hands to push herself to her feet. She kicked a shopping bag over to Jack. "You have two tasks today, one fairly simple; the other will apparently not be so simple. In that bag you will find a full set of clothes in your new sizes. Skin out. You need to learn how to dress yourself, and to get used to how women's clothes feel on your body. I suggest you dress and undress yourself several times until you get the hang of it." A sly grin momentarily lit her face. "There are several pairs of hose in there since you will probably run the first couple of pairs. Try to get it right before you ruin the last pair."

"It might be easier if you would try not to have quite so much fun with this at my expense, Mother." Jack said darkly.

Her momentary pleasure instantly evaporated. "I wanted to have fun doing all of this with you, Jacqueline. I'd always believed that when this time came for us, I would relive through you all the lovely and joyful things I discovered with my own mother when she taught me. Can't you let me have what little crumbs of pleasure that fall my way in this?"

Jack was not going to let her make him feel small in this. He wasn't - this was her fault and if it was not as pleasurable as she had wished it would be, well that was a small thing compared to what she had done to him. He ignored her question and instead asked one of his own in a toneless, inflection- less voice. "You said there were two things I had to accomplish today. What was the other task?"

Recognizing the implicit rejection of her request, Laurie responded in equally cold tones of her own. "You need to start thinking of yourself in the feminine. Understand that I can hear your thoughts, feel your emotions, Jacqueline. You are trying to perpetuate the image of yourself as a man stuck in a woman's body."

"Well, that is exactly what I am, thanks to you!" he snarled.

"As long as that is what you think you are, that is all you will be, daughter. And we can go no further in your training until you start accepting the reality of your female state." Laurie turned and walked back to stand before her child. "Believe me, Jacqueline, if I could somehow undo the Transformation, or if I could somehow go back in time and make it so that none of this ever happened, I would do it. No matter what the cost to myself. If my last drop of heart's blood would make you what you long to be, I would cut my wrists here and now. But those are not options. Only you can do what needs be done." She absently brushed an escaped lock of black hair from Jacqueline's eyes. "Only you. I am going up to bed and get some rest. Later today, we will go out and get you some more clothes." She spun on her heel and left the room.

Jack, no, Jacqueline sat sipping her coffee in the eerie silence. He, dammit, she was at a loss about what to do next. This thinking in the female tense was going to be a bitch.

She sat there for a little more than an hour, practicing her feminine thinking. Toward the end of her mental recitation period, she only had to correct him, blast, herself about every fifth or sixth time. Progress was progress, she supposed. Maybe it would even be good enough for a start, anyway. There was one problem, though. Maybe it was a holdover from the way her Mother had introduced him, err, her to her new self, but one thing was very, very clear.

He/She/Whatever hated the name "Jacqueline" and He/She/Whatever always would!

Well, there was not much to be done about it now. Not with all those records already done. She did not know much about how magic really worked, but she did know that changing all those records and memories had cost her mother dearly, and the strength Mum had expended doing that magic would not likely be replenished any time soon.

Sighing, she decided that it was not a battle worth fighting and picked up the bag with his, no, make that her new clothes and trudged off to practice dressing.

Five hours later, Laurie, alert and refreshed, came downstairs where she found her daughter sprawled on the sofa watching the 24-hour news channel. Apart from her ungainly and totally unladylike posture, Laurie's discerning eyes (and other, less common senses) could find definite improvements since that morning. The simple knit sweater and skirt set had been selected because they would not pose too many challenges for her daughter who still thought and acted like a son. No buttons on the "wrong" side, no zippers in the back - just a simple, loose pullover sweater blouse that draped casually over the waist of an equally loose, knee length skirt that zipped up the side. The pantyhose weren't rent from ankle to thigh with ladders and runs, and the simple black pumps with only the merest hint of a heel fit perfectly.

Jacqueline had not ventured so far as to try any of the cosmetics her Mother had carefully selected and arrayed on her vanity, but she had made a fairly good attempt at taming that gorgeous hair of hers. She had done a reasonably good job figuring out how to put on the hair band that pulled the curling mass away from her face. Of course, that particular invention was probably the daughter of necessity since seeing clearly through long hair was annoying at best.

"I can see that deportment and posture will be among our first lessons." she said aloud. Her voice obviously startled her child for she jumped and nearly slipped off the couch in her surprise. "Well, Jacqueline, stand up, please and let me get a good look at you."

The eyes that met Laurie's were still cold and distant, but with great deliberation, the body moved to obey her request. Stage one begins, she thought - sullen, malicious compliance to any order, intermixed with enough body language to show just how obnoxious you and obeying you really are. Laurie moved behind her daughter, as much to gain a moment's respite from those eyes as to check out the rest of the outfit. "You need to be more careful with laying out your skirts before you sit, dear. The back of your skirt is frightfully wrinkled and crushed from the way you sat upon it, Jacqueline."

"Jackie."

The response was not at all what she was expecting and Laurie was momentarily at a loss for words. "I beg your pardon?"

"I wish to be called Jackie. I detest the name Jacqueline - it reminds me too much of our confrontation yesterday and last night and therefore is non-productive - like the possessions I used to love and own. Since I suspect that you won't have the strength to change the world for me again anytime soon, Jackie is the best compromise I can come up with."

"I see. That may be difficult for me as Jacqueline was the name I had chosen for you since you were born. That is really why you were called Jack. Since I always knew it would be my duty to bring you to your full powers by exposing you to the Transformation Spell, you have always been Jacqueline in my heart."

That had been the wrong thing to say and Laurie knew it the instant she saw her child's face. "I was not born female and I will not respond to Jacqueline, so get used to calling me Jackie or perhaps just "hey, you" will do. What is in your heart is not something I am greatly concerned with at this point in my life, Mother."

Laurie coughed to choke back the sob. "Very well. Jacqu... I mean, Jackie. I will try."

The love Jackie still felt for his Mother twisted inside her own heart and he, dammit again, she tried to make it a little easier for both of them. "It will do you good, Mum, to have to stop and consider your words before you speak or even think. It will give you an idea of how hard thinking of myself as she and her has been and continues to be for me. Tell you what, we can spell my new call name with a 'cq', instead of a 'ck'. Jacqui." She spelled the name out aloud. "How's that for a compromise? Best deal you are going to get today."

A little bubble of hope rose in Laurie's breast. "Okay." she whispered and then added. "Sounds fair." She shook off the emotion. They had much yet to do this day. "So, I will ask how the dressing up practice went since I can already sense your effort to think 'girl'. I applaud you progress there, by the way." You only have about 99.99% of the way yet to go, but that is further then I expected to find you given the way you reacted this morning, she thought. "So, are you ready to go shopping for new clothes? You need skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes and of course, some lovely knickers and other undies." she dropped her eyes to Jacqui's legs. "How many of your pantyhose are left intact?"

A rosy blush crept up her daughter's cheeks. "Ummm. Just these." Laurie cocked an eyebrow. "They, uhhh, seemed to run awfully easy."

"Those were the industrial strength, heavy weave nylon, dear, designed specifically not to run. I suppose you just tried to pull them on like trousers?" A hesitant nod was her answer. "Yes, well, there are tricks I will teach you before you put on any of the really silky stockings we will buy today. Any other troubles?"

Another, even redder blush and a cough to clear her throat. "The bra. I am not flexible enough to reach behind me and latch it while trying to look in the mirror. I finally had to hook the thing in front and then spin it around behind me."

"Good on you, girl. That works, particularly with everyday things. Some of the frilly stuff might need a little gentler hand, but we can work up to those. Other than that, how do you feel in those clothes?"

"Underdressed. I notice drafts a lot. Very uncomfortable."

Laurie nodded. The answers were honest and were to be expected. At least Jacqui was talking with her with some degree of openness again. "All right, then. You will get used to those feelings. We'll have you turned out to a fair- thee-well after today and you will have ample opportunity to get used to skirts and their little foibles and traps."

"What about trousers, jeans? I would like some jeans, Mother."

That was a problem. Mentally saying goodbye to their momentary peace, Laurie answered. "That is not in your best interest, dear. You already know how to wear pants. You will learn what it is to be a woman much more quickly if you work at being an especially feminine woman. You have so much to learn in a short time. Don't forget, besides your own goals in this, you will start school again in a few weeks. You will need a whole range of behaviors at your command to deal with school as a girl instead of as a boy."

"Just one pair? For knocking about? Won't it seem strange to my girlfriends if I never wear anything but dresses and skirts?" Jacqui pleaded. "How about if I promise to always wear my frilliest bra and knickers when I wear the jeans?"

Pleased that Jacqui had not gotten her back up, Laurie smiled. "All right, but just one pair. They will be very, very tight and you will also agree to wear only high heeled shoes when you wear the jeans, too." That would serve two purposes, Laurie thought. It was nearly impossible to forget you were a girl when wearing jeans that were a couple of sizes too small, and it would get her daughter into real heels more quickly.

"Heels?" Jacqui momentarily bridled, but then deflated. "Okay, I agree."

"Let's go get ready to leave. Your purse is with mine in the foyer and your new ID are already in it." Laurie turned toward the front door.

"Mum?" The name she had not heard without sarcasm in over 48 hours brought her up short. She turned and cocked a brow at Jacqui. "Two things, first. One, I want to see a doctor - a real one, not one of your witch cronies. I want advice on birth control and I don't want you to interfere in any way or to try to stop me."

Laurie understood where that was coming from. Jacqui was starting to understand the full erotic potential and demands of her new body. She was still female because she had been unable to resist the demands of her new sexuality. Conceiving a child was not on her agenda, yet, and she was trying to take action to avoid getting caught between some guy and her own burgeoning hormones.

"All right. We can select one of your choice from the phone book, completely at random if that will make you feel more comfortable. However, you should understand that the proper term for the type of doctor you want is a gynecologist." The "so-what" look that revelation elicited made Laurie decide to change the subject. "One other thing, dear. You need to know something about Transformed women. Whether we use contraception or not, we get pregnant when we want the child of the man making love to us."

"I want to see a doctor, Mother, and I want birth control." Jacqui's tone brooked no further discussion on the issue.

Sighing, Laurie wondered what the girl was thinking. Obviously, she did not believe her regarding the effectiveness of the contraceptives. "Very well. We can set up the appointment right now and go as soon as the doctor can see you. I can go with you or you can go alone, but you have my personal word of honor, that I will do nothing to influence or impede you in any way. And the other thing?" The look of relief on Jacqui's face was painful to Laurie who was only just beginning to really understand how thoroughly she had shattered her only child's faith and trust in her.

"I'd like to get my hair cut. Lots of women have short hair. I don't want to have to deal with this mop for the rest of my time as a woman."

Damn, damn, damn! thought Laurie. "Jacqui, could we hold off on that, please? At least for a little while, until you have had a chance to learn how to care for your hair? You can always get it cut, but it will take months and months to grow it back. I think you should wear it long, just as I think you should stick to skirts and dresses, but if, after a reasonable attempt to live with it, you still want to cut it, then I won't stand in your way."

"I could just hack it off in my room, Mother." the frustration was back in her daughter's voice.

"Yes, you could. If you get to the point where you are that unhappy with it, then tell me and we will go straight off to the beauty parlor. Please, Jacqui, all I am asking is that you give me a chance, luv." Her eyes were wide with entreaty as she looked at Jacqui. "Please." She said again.

The pleading in his, her mother's voice touched that hurting core of love inside Jacqui. "All right. I will give it two weeks, halfway until school opens. That should give you time to teach me how to deal with it so that it does not get in my way. If it is still a hassle after that, it goes. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough. Now, can we please go? I want to go SHOPPING with my daughter."

"Shopping." There was a world of difference in the way the two women said the word. "You sure you can't just get everything mail order? I'd wait."

"Over my dead body, young lady. I am determined to enjoy this and nothing is going to ruin it for me. Now move that cute butt and let's go."

A Change of Direction Chapter 9

Laurie gently eased her tired body into the steamy, fragrant bubbles and all but whimpered with pleasure. The two weeks since she had fouled up the Transformation of her son Jack into her daughter Jacqui had been difficult, to say the least. All the same, there had been a few noteworthy successes.

She was lying in one of them. Jacqui had fallen hopelessly in love with bubble baths. Quite a departure from the son who thought that more than two minutes in a shower was wasted time. Of course, the innate sensuousness and sensuality that the Transformation imposed on Jacqui had a great deal to do with that. After that first time, when she had needed to frog-walk the girl into the tub after their marathon shopping expedition, Jacqui had practically grown webbed feet. It was a good thing they each had their own full bathroom or it would have been shampoo bottles at ten paces and may the more determined woman get the tub.

After a week of work, she had convinced Jacqui that she could live with hair longer than the skull hugging bob she'd found in a fashion magazine. Not that her daughter would not have looked fantastic in that hairdo. They had ended up compromising, again. The result was a trim that left enough hair to reach down her back to her shoulder blades, but that was easy to brush out in the morning and that tended to stay out of Jacqui's face.

The trip to the gynecologist had been a revelation to both of them. Laurie had been dumbfounded to learn that her daughter was "virgo intacto". That meant that her son had never enjoyed sexual intercourse with a girl or woman. By its very nature, the Transformation Spell Transformed virgins into virgins. Well, that was one experience that Jacqui had to look forward to that Laurie had no personal knowledge of - Larry had not been a virgin when his Mother had Transformed him, so Laurel had not possessed an intact hymen at her "birth". That could pose problems later on. She would need to discuss this with the others. For Jacqui, the unhappy discovery that "Dr. M. L. Sullivan" was a woman whose name was Michelle Louise had been daunting. It was something of a hoot to try and convince the girl that, given that she was now a girl, undressing and being intimately examined by a female was supposed to be less embarrassing for her. Still, it had all gone very well, and if Jacqui had asked questions more suited to a 12 year old just entering puberty than to a fully developed and nearly mature 18 year old, the doctor had done nothing to make her daughter more uncomfortable than she already was. All in all, the doctor did Jacqui a lot of good. Laurie would remember her for the others who had sons due for Transformation.

The brassieres had been a minor problem. Jacqui hadn't understood how to adjust them and had finally been forced to come to her Mother for help because her shoulders and breasts hurt so badly at the end of the day. The misadjusted bras were pulling her bosoms in directions nature had not intended and were not distributing the weight properly. Besides, she had adjusted the back straps much too tightly in an effort to use the bras to hide her nicely rounded breasts. A few adjustments and realignments, along with a little motherly advice had solved those problems. And it wasn't as if the girl was grossly huge, anyway. She had a lovely figure, curvy where she should be, slender where she should be. If only she'd appreciate it, Laurie mourned.

Cosmetics were another non-winner. The memory of Jacqui's furious tantrum at home after Laurie had sprung an unannounced, full up make-over on the girl during that visit to the beauty parlor still made Laurie shudder. That blowup had surprised Laurie almost as much as Jacqui's reaction to the Transformation. She had looked so lovely when the beauty consultant had finished with her, but Jacqui had not uttered a single word from the time the beautician had arrived at Jacqui's chair until they arrived home at the end of the day. She had, however, more than made up for that silence once she had gotten her Mother behind closed doors.

Laurie had finally resorted to a little magical probing to figure out what had provoked so violent a reaction. It would have been funny had it not been so sad. Jacqui's still male mind had been turned on by Jacqui's beautifully made up face, and he (and it most definitely was the part of Jacqui that was still he) had not been able to handle it. And like most males when faced with something they can't handle, Jacqui had gone livid and had lashed out at the 'cause' of her problem. That had cost them a couple of days of seething tension. Worse, it had ended the shaky truce between them, as well. Jacqui cooperated with Laurie's lessons, but otherwise spent as little time as possible in her Mother's presence. Fortunately, things were settling down once again.

With Jacqui's somewhat grudging cooperation, other, important lessons were proceeding apace. Jacqui was trying manfully (again the correct term) to be womanly. If the tone of Laurie's teaching was more appropriate to a Victorian girl still in the schoolroom than to a modern woman of the nineties, well, Laurie thought, that served a purpose, too. The very exaggerated gestures and movements she had drilled into him were too theatrical to be of any use in a modern setting, but what was left over, when Jacqui wasn't "acting out for teacher", was nicely feminine.

In the course of these lessons, Jacqui had walked back and forth across the living room in her new high heels, balancing Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice on her head. She had learned to sit demurely, with her back straight and her knees together thanks to a few judiciously placed straps for reminders. She'd learned to pour and serve tea with the dexterity and aristocratic snobbery of a Regency Dame. She'd read, under duress, romance novels which she was subsequently quizzed on about the heroine's feelings and motivations.

Her forays into public had gotten a bit easier as she'd become more used to her new skin and to the clothing that Laurie insisted she wear. Jacqui looked particularly good in Laura Ashley, but then, most good looking young women did.

The more intimate lessons had been the hardest ones to get across to her only semi-willing pupil. Teaching her daughter the fundamentals of feminine hygiene had not been a fun experience for either of them. Jacqui had twice stormed off in a humiliated huff during those lessons. Only the fear for her daughter's health had spurred Laurie to finish those lessons. An internal infection might damage Jacqui's reproductive system which would put paid to any chance she might have of undoing the Transformation. Laurie had finally resorted to a minor touch of magic in order to convince Jacqui of the need for these female ablutions. Amazing what a simple urinary tract infection or just a taste of a vaginal yeast infection had done to help her daughter understand the ramifications of not keeping the inner woman clean.

By tacit agreement, they'd left the twin issues of sex and sexuality alone. Although Jacqui would have to face them when she went back to school, there were ways of avoiding the issue for a short while longer. For one thing, it was going to take real effort to get the girl to go out with a boy, period, and for another, her child went to school for two things, learning and sports. She would have only the most innocent of contact with boys for the time being. Laurie was entirely happy to let that particular hurdle stay in the future. Jacqui needed more time to learn better the scope of her new body's needs and demands. At the same time, she needed to learn some control of her physical reactions, as well.

The last thing Laurie wanted was for Jacqui to slip up with some guy and get herself pregnant. It was simply too soon. Getting pregnant now, without the fundamental grounding in magic necessary to finish learning the Transformation Spell, wouldn't do her daughter any good. Jacqui simply had too much to learn before she could begin to wield the power she would need to be male again. Telling her that she had to get pregnant once was a conversation Laurie wished she could avoid. Having to tell her that her first pregnancy wasn't enough did not bear thinking about.

Secondly, and just as importantly, she took Jacqui's threat of abortion and self-sterilization seriously. Laurie knew the rigidity of her son's will (and his sheer pigheaded stubbornness) and really feared what he might do before her daughter had finished sorting herself out. She only hoped that Jacqui took her own threat of using mind control magic just as seriously. Otherwise, they were in deep trouble because the threat was hollow. She would not, could not do that to Jacqui, because that would be exactly what Jacqui had accused her of doing - destroying the last of her child's dreams.

Laurie needed to talk to her Sisters. Some decisions had to made quickly and she needed their wise counsel. Maybe tomorrow she'd call Bronwyn.

The chill of the rapidly cooling bath water pulled Laurie back from her reveries. Quickly, she washed off and got out of the tub. Her mind would not let her rest and she found herself going downstairs to get a book. On her return, she heard a muffled sound coming from inside Jacqui's room. She was about to discount it as her imagination, when she heard it again. It was a moan of pain. Tiptoeing over to the door, she peeked in. There on the bed, laying on her side and huddled into a fetal position about her pillow, was her daughter.

Laurie moved into the room and settled on to the bed beside Jacqui. She looked up from her pillow, misery clouding her eyes. "Mum, I'm sick. I think I have that flu bug again, like I caught last winter. I feel so nauseous and my lower belly is in knots." Jacqui was in such discomfort, she forgot she was still cross with Laurie.

Laurie had been expecting this. She had described this experience vividly in the diary she'd taken to keeping after her own Transformation. It was right on time, she mused, and evidently just as rough as her own first time. Gently, she put a soothing hand on her daughter's sweaty forehead and massaged her temples. "It's all right, luv." she whispered. "It's not the flu. It is just the first arrival of your monthly. To be sure, this is one of the less attractive aspects of your new station in life, but it is a miracle, none-the-less. You are a woman, now, Jacqui. You are starting your first menses."

Jacqui pulled her covers over her head. "Oh, god, I had completely forgotten that part of this." Another groan signaled the onset of another round of cramps. "I don't know how I will ever forgive you for this, Mother."

Although the words were sharp, the tone was not. It reminded Laurie of the gentle male/female bantering she used to engage in regularly with her son. It actually warmed her. "I know just how you feel, luv. I said much the same thing to my own Mum about this time after she Transformed me." Reaching down, she pulled the covers off her daughter and admired for a brief instant the lovely nightgown she wore. Jacqui had steadfastly refused to model her nightwear for her Mother, giving Laurie cause to wonder if she was sleeping in the buff. Evidently not, she thought happily. "Come along with me, Miss. Time for your first lesson on the care of the menstruating female. You don't want to get that lovely night shift all messy, now do you?"

The technical aspects of inserting the tampon had been acutely embarrassing for her child. Sitting on the toilet, splaying her legs wide so that her Mother could demonstrate the process, had nearly reduced the girl to tears. Laurie had tried to make things easier for them both by injecting some humor into the proceedings, but Jacqui's expression told her that there was nothing funny about it. Maybe she'd look back on it, someday, and see the humorous bits in it, Laurie thought hopefully.

Once the immediate problem of leakage was under control, Laurie had put Jacqui back to bed and given her a gentle back massage. Her knowledgeable fingers soon relaxed the tight muscles of Jacqui's abdomen and her daughter fell asleep almost immediately thereafter.

A quick, magic-assisted examination of her daughter proved that all of Jacqui's internal organs were working and fully female. Phase one was complete. Her daughter was a fertile, sexually mature female. She could now begin learning magic. Her body had just taken the critical first step toward reversing the Transformation she hated so very much. The next step would come in ten to sixteen days when she ovulated for the first time.

Quietly pleased, Laurie tiptoed back to her room and went to sleep.

A Change of Direction Chapter 10

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

This is not, underline that, please, not a diary and I am not going to open it the way I have read that teenage girls do by writing "Dear Diary" on every damned page. This is a journal, a record of my experiences as I work to become my own man again. It is also a place where I can vent in privacy. Actually, the whole thing is Mum's idea and she has promised some big deal oath that she will not use her magic to "eavesdrop" on any thoughts I express in here.

It is a good idea, actually, although I refuse to tell her that. God knows, I need some place to discuss things or I will go crazy. I won't go to Mum and I can't go to anyone else. So this is the place where I will talk with myself.

And with Jack.

I know I promised Mum I would work to think of myself as the female I give every outward appearance of being. And I have. Mostly. But Jack is still a part of me, and he still needs expression. At least, he does if I/he/we are ever going to get through this with my/his/our sanity intact.

Anyway, on with the writing....

18 Days A. T. (*that's After Transformation. I need a time scale. I would rather count "days to Re-Transformation", but I can't. Mum doesn't even know when that will happen. Or if she does know, she is not telling me. Which would mean that she is lying to me, again, and I really don't think she is - this time. I think I believe her. At least, I believe she does not know that bit of information, anyway.)

I have just been assured that my first period is now officially over. I hereby apologize to all the girls I snickered at in the eighth grade when they turned green and had to go to the school nurse every month or so. I also understand the true meaning of "being on the rag". It has nothing to do with the various cloth implements intended to collect the discharge and thus keep our womanly parts and clothes from becoming a bloody mess. No, the phrase must derive from what the whole damned process feels like, particularly when it first hits. I can only liken it to having somebody reach inside you, grab hold of your guts with both hands and then try to wring them out like a wet dish rag.

This is neither "wonderful" nor "glorious", Mum.

Jack went into deep hiding during the whole four days, the damned coward. Left me alone to face the thing all by myself.

Well, not quite. Mum was there for me. She was actually pretty great about the whole thing. I did not appreciate her attempts at humor. On reflection that was more because of a petty desire to pout and sulk then the lameness of her jokes. Some weren't too bad. Her back massages were blissful and the food she fixed for me was bland but it stayed down when I did not think anything I ate would.

It's a strange thing and I don't know for sure, nor will I ask her, but I think she did something magical to blunt the worst of it that first night. Don't know why, just a feeling niggling in my head. Her hands felt sort of warm on my back, only it wasn't the hot kind of warm. Can't describe it, really, you just had to be there.

Taking birth control pills every day sure seems strange. Not that I want to be with guys that way, but if I have learned nothing else about this new body of mine, I have found out that I am very easily aroused, and once I am turned on, I need sexual relief. Since I am not sure that my mental reservations about guys will preclude some male from getting me sexually excited, I really don't want to take the chance. What is that old line about what you call women who rely upon contraceptive methods other than chemical or shields? They call them Mothers. And since I am a virgin, that leaves only the chemical method for me. Particularly since I am not going to trust a man to protect me.

What am I saying??!? A man? Me? Damn.

Mom gave me some line about only getting pregnant if I want the baby of the man who is inside me. What a crock! Does she want me to get pregnant? If I believe her, all I have to do is not want babies and I am home free. Somehow, I don't think so, Mum.

Which leads me to another, scarier line of thought. What the hell is all this learning I am going to find so "bloody awful"??!? I know Mom had me, and I do know where babies come from. I don't think I am going to be permitted to avoid becoming "fully female" with a man, but I hope it is not something really sick, like taking a man in my mouth or putting out to two guys at once.

Naw, whatever Mom is, she is not that nasty. More likely, I am going to have to make out with a guy and enjoy it. Yeah, something like that. She is just not going to happy until I get thoroughly screwed and love it.

Well, that is it for today. Not a bad first start, and I do feel a little better. Jack feels a bit ashamed at my discussion of his cowardice, but he'll get over it. For now, I have a date with a hot tub full of bubbles. Another thing about this monthly affirmation of my new femininity. It makes you smell just a bit off, particularly up close, and a shower just doesn't get the job done.

Just wish I had something to read other than fashion magazines and romance novels. Don't girls read Sports Illustrated? Oh well. Till next time.

End Journal Entry.

"Well?" Laurie asked the slender, ethereally pretty woman seated across the kitchen table from her.

The woman smiled. "If you wanted to know that badly, Laurel, you should not have taken an oath sacred to the Goddess not to peak." she chided gently.

Laurie grimaced. "She needed the outlet so much, Bronwyn. She won't talk to me and she doesn't have anyone else. She would not have started the journal if I had not promised not to look."

"You know that asking me to do your peaking for you is precisely the type of half truth that got you into this trouble to begin with. However, in this case, I must agree with you. She needs to express her feelings and you need know how she is feeling." Bronwyn's faintly blue eyes became unfocused, then once again cleared. She looked at Laurie, surprise arching her brows. "Did you use the healing arts to ease her menses, Laurel?"

Laurie's eyes went wide and then she blushed at having been caught. "Yes, High Priestess. She was in such discomfort and I felt so guilty at that moment. When I massaged her, I took just a bit of her pain into myself - not much," she hastened to add in self justification, "Just enough that she could drop off to sleep.

"Yes, well, as you are aware, we don't normally do that for a new Sister's First Flow, but I can understand your dilemma. I will not gainsay your decision, Laurel. You must do as you think best in this sadly unique Transformation Transition. However, that is not the point. What is important is that your daughter sensed the use of the power. She speculated that you did something magical and even described it quite accurately. I don't think I have ever heard of a novice Sister being quite so sensitive or aware of the Goddess power so soon after Transformation before."

"I am not surprised, Bronwyn. Everything has pointed to her being very special, and very powerful. Stubble it! What did I do incorrectly? Why is she fighting this so hard? How can she possibly want to ... to go back?" Tears welled in Laurie's eyes.

"Laurel." Bronwyn's voice was velvet steel. "You did nothing wrong. The Sisterhood has reviewed the Transformation and everything leading up to it. We have found nothing wrong. Your child is, as you said, unique and very special. Unfortunately, this is sometimes what happens when you deal with unique cases. You cannot anticipate things that are outside your experiences. So, while that makes her very important to us because of the power she possesses, some other facet that makes her unique is likely working against us."

Laurie's tension eased under her friend's soothing approval. "You are sure?" she asked tremulously. At Bronwyn's emphatic nod, she sighed, and relaxed a bit more. "You know? I do think I know at least one of the problems. Initially pretending that the Transformation was a fanciful lark on my part was a mistake. I know that it worked with me when my Mother Transformed me. I just saw the entire thing as a great adventure. However, that ploy failed miserably with my own daughter. At the time, she saw my lighthearted attitude as a cruel, mean-spirited thing. She continues to think of it that way."

"Would you have denied her the re-Transformation back to her male identity had she requested it before you completed the final spell? The spell that now requires her to effect her own change back to Jack?" Bronwyn's tone was one of only mild interest, as if she already knew the answer.

Laurie's eyes went wide in outraged shock. "Of course NOT! Not if she had been that repulsed by the change, or if she had maintained sufficient self control in the face of her new feminine needs and responses to request the re-Transformation. That would have been proof that Jack's masculine self image was simply too strongly ingrained for her to have any success making the adjustments she would need to master the Power herself. That would have been cruel because without her own Power, my spell would then have been both permanent and irreversible."

"Then your only error was one that the Sisterhood approved - the treating of the initial Transformation period in a fun and playful manner. We expected it to be a fun experience for her because that's how it was for all of us. If you will recall, that was why we chose the Scully identity for the first stage of the Transformation - because everything we knew about your son indicated that he would have fun "being" her. Unfortunately, although Jack reacted as we expected when you put the question for "more time" to her, she did not react as we anticipated when she was faced the totality of what she had inadvertently agreed to accept. The real sadness of this is that as we prepare for a probable conflict in which we will desperately need the power she could wield, we will likely not be able to count upon having it. BUT, I will say this again, none of that is your fault." A teary smile curved Laurie's lips. "I understand, High Priestess. Thank you for telling me that. I have felt very . . . inadequate of late."

"Nonsense. Nothing about you is in any way inadequate." Bronwyn flicked the word away with a careless gesture of her hands. "One other thing, Laurel. Jack is in the journal, too, but in the third person. I find that very positive. She is trying to acclimate. She also berates his ..... desertion of her during her recent trial." A wickedly mirthful grin lit Bronwyn's face showing how beautiful she was. "My, my, my. She does have quite an imagination." Mirth twinkled in Bronwyn's eyes. "She is discussing what her lessons may require of her. Very inventive, and at least partially accurate."

"On another matter," Bronwyn continued quickly, "she did not believe you when you told her about the ineffectiveness of birth control. I even infer that she took it just the other way, that you were telling her she could stop conception."

Laurie's eyes closed on her misery. "Goddess, what a mess. In that case, we are going to have to keep her on a very short leash until she is advanced enough to be taught the Transformation spell. It is almost impossible for one of us not to think positively about conception when we are making love with a man we care about. That is why we usually stick to relationships with other Sisters. Otherwise we would be continuously pregnant."

"Sadly true. Although, being with child is a lovely feeling. It is too bad that as members of the Sisterhood, we tend to link making love and making babies very closely in our minds and spirits."

"At least you can avoid that by maintaining some separation when you are making love with a man. Some of us can't." Laurie sulked.

"True, which is probably a facet of your healing gifts. Still, keeping that mental shield means that the act of making love is not nearly as fulfilling as it should be." Bronwyn frowned a bit before continuing. "Anything else?"

Laurie hesitated, but decided to press on. "Yes, while we are on the subject of sex. Jacqui's drives are already very strong. She masturbates every night. My own sex drive following Transformation was very demanding and I think hers will be even stronger. Like most new Sisters, I had my Mother to help me cope with the hunger until I was ready to deal with men. She never took, Bronwyn, only gave until I was ready to return the gift. Jacqui, however, has not forgiven me and she won't want that kind of relationship with me. It would be abusive of me even to try right now, but we can't let her fall prey to her body's needs and end up getting pregnant too soon. I don't want to find out the hard way she was serious in her threat. If she wants to be a man again that badly, I have to help her, but you are well aware of what terminating a fetus would mean."

"Yes, I know. You really believe that is a possibility?" At Laurie's shaky nod, Bronwyn frowned thoughtfully. "Hmmm, Yes, I see you do. All right, I agree we need to provide her with an outlet. Someone to whom she can relate and to whom she can confide her little troubles would also be useful. She starts school when? In a fortnight? All right, I will arrange for her to meet someone at school who will provide her with friendship, advice and sexual relief."

"A member of the Sisterhood?" Laurie asked. At Bronwyn's emphatic nod, Laurie sighed resignedly, wishing she could be the one to share that first time and those other things with her daughter. That was just another of her little Mother's dreams that had to be foresworn for the good of her daughter. "Please, Bronwyn, make sure it is someone special for her. Please."

The answering smile was both gently reassuring and wickedly feline. "Why, Laurel." The Power glowed about Bronwyn and her form blurred momentarily. The glow died just as suddenly, and where Bronwyn had been but an instant before, sat a teenaged girl - a shorter, blonder and very well developed teenaged girl. The face and body were pure adolescent male wet dream brought to life, but the smile was still Bronwyn's. "I think your daughter is still viewing other women through your son's libido, darling. I believe this form is sufficiently lacking in subtlety to gain her and his attention."

Shocked, Laurie gasped. "You? You are going to go to school and watch over Jacqui??"

"Laurel, darling. I am going to do much more than just watch. I am going to wear her out, and then, I will give her a little, less-than-sisterly guidance about the pitfalls and dangers of being a beautiful woman in man's world. Hopefully, I will be in a position to control her first contacts with men and keep her out of too much trouble. It will also give me a chance to figure out how or if we can soften her attitude toward the Transformation. If she is going to be as powerful as we both think she can be, we will need her willing assistance in the coming struggle." Anticipation, then hunger gleamed in her lovely eyes. "Now, since your daughter is enjoying her little soak, how about you and I give the new equipment," she gave her newly expansive bosom a little shimmy that made one of Laurie's mouths dry and the other very wet, "a test drive?" She held out her hand to Laurie who happily took it in hers and then led the way to her bedroom.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

Journal Entry: 25 days A. T.

Mum's own monthly visitor arrived today. From the look of her, that arrival was not gentle, either. I wonder that I never noticed how difficult these times are for her before this. Takes one to know one? I guess.

I really wanted to be glad she was feeling so vile. I wanted to enjoy the fact that she was suffering, just like I had suffered because of what she had done to me. I really wanted to stand outside her door and yell something like "Payback is hell, isn't it?".

Only, I couldn't. I hated that she did not feel well. Jack is a bit upset with me for going soft on him, but I can't help it. Besides, his opinion doesn't count, the coward. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

And besides, she still is my Mum.

Anyway, I went into her room tonight and did the same things for her that she did for me - herbal tea and a back rub. She has nice skin - really soft and nice to touch. Is my skin like that now? She is so much lighter in skin color than I am.

Anyway, it seemed to help. She went to sleep soon after I started. Hope she feels better tomorrow. I don't feel so good myself just now. I wonder if I am going to be irregular about these things. I feel like I am about to have another period, myself. Yuck.

End Journal Entry.

************* "Hello?" the calm voice came over the phone line.

"Bronwyn? This is Laurie. You will not believe this." Laurie's voice was a flood of excited babbling.

"Calm down, Laurel. Tell me what's wrong!"

Laurie took a deep breath and forced herself to speak slowly. "Nothing is wrong, Bronnie. It's amazing, but nothing bad. I started my monthly last night and Jacqui helped me."

"Oh? So she is softening toward you?"

"No, no... I mean, well, maybe, but that is not what I mean. She helped me, like I did her. She used magic to share my discomfort and reduced the intensity of it so I could fall sleep. I fell asleep before I could stop myself. I think she did that, too."

"Now, Laurel. You know she can't possibly do that without training."

"Bronwyn, you are the High Priestess and the most powerful of us all, but I am the Chief Healer. I know the feel of a healer's touch on me. I did not do it. You know as well as I that the healing art only works on others. Somehow, she learned by feeling me do it to her and she did it for me without realizing what she did. I know the signs and this morning, she was suffering from post healing fatigue symptoms. She had shared my cramps and had not slept well because of them."

"Incredible. So advanced for one yet untrained. We will have to watch her even more carefully. I've never heard of a novice learning independently like that, but she evidently has."

"Do you know how long I had to work with my own Mother before I could begin to match what she unthinkingly accomplished last night?" Laurie interjected, somewhat indignantly.

"Now there's a scary thought, my dear. If the mere act of using magic on her in some way "teaches" her enough to begin using it herself, then we must be extremely cautious what magic she is exposed to and when she is exposed to it. Goddess, but that takes many options out of our hands. Even the mildest manipulation and influence spells are out of the question for the time being. I don't want an untrained novice poking about people's heads without even realizing she is doing it."

"Bronwyn? What about the Transformation Spell? She was definitely exposed to that magic, too. The Sisterhood could be endangered if the entire Senior Class at her school suddenly all turn into females."

The phone went silent for a moment. "Good point. I will have to be sure I am there with her. It may not be a problem since she was exposed to that spell when she was still a male and therefore incapable of wielding the power, but until we are sure of that, we need to be on guard against it. We can only hope that this trick is a manifestation of her incredible potential now that she is female. Laurel? You had better start her training." the voice paused and then added emphatically. "Now."

"Now??" Laurie was aghast. "But, we agreed to give her a few months to settle in before starting to teach her any real magic."

"That was before she taught herself. Unfortunately, she probably does not know how she is doing it. She may not even realize that she is doing it. You know as well as I the dangers an adept faces once a healing linkage is joined. She has to learn how to control the establishment of a link and she has to understand the inherent risks."

"You are right, of course. I will use the remainder of my monthly as the hook. I will start tonight before bedtime. You realize it will be a time before she can safely do anything on her own?" "Healing is not the focus of my talent, but I know how difficult it can be to master. In any case, I should be able to block her if she does start to do something at school. I have already arranged to be in all of her classes. By the second day, we should be famous chums. Now, if I am going to be spending the next few months reliving my high school years, I have some things that require my attention first. I suspect I will be seeing you soon, Laurel. Bye." The phone clicked off and a dial tone began to buzz in Laurie's ear.

Laurie carefully hung up the phone. What had she done? Obviously, her daughter was unique in the recorded memory of the Sisterhood. Whether that would be a good thing, a neutral thing or a bad thing, only the fullness of time would tell.

****** "So," said the tall, dark haired man seated behind the desk. "She is of the Sisterhood, and her son is now her daughter?" The man seated across from him looked at the spiral notebook in his hands and then looked up to speak. "Yes, High Leader. Our data scans of the Social Security records have shown that, about two weeks ago, the Social Security Number of one John David Donovan was suddenly associated with Jacqueline Daphne Donovan. Subsequent checks of other personal records for John Donovan are nonexistent. To date, only your special, magically sealed records indicate such a person ever existed."

"Excellent. The Dark One is with us. For the first time in the history of the Brotherhood, we have identified a completely untrained Sister. We will play this game carefully. I want a totally invisible, completely discreet surveillance on both of the Donovan," and here the man sneered and spat out the word, "women. We will bide our time and strike when we have what we need to rid this planet of the Sisterhood and their puling Goddess once and for all. Now go and do as I ordered."

The other man made a toadying bow and all but ran from the room. Power, thought the man still seated at his desk, was the only thing worth having in this life. And soon, his would be total. Thanks to the power of computers and the power of magic.

~----------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 11

Jacqui pulled her car into a parking slot set aside for seniors. Driving to school was a treat. Last year, when Jack had gotten his driver's license, Mum had insisted that he continue to take the bus with the rest of the students on his street. That had put a crimp in his plans. Offering rides home on rainy days was an easy way to get on a girl's friendly side.

Jacqui did not plan to offer boys rides home anytime soon. As a one-time boy, Jacqui was well aware of the dangers inherent in that act of thoughtless kindness. Boys always tended to misinterpret such offers from girls. Jack certainly would have. One of them might decide she was coming on to him and try to take advantage of the situation and her. Whatever else might happen to her this year, boys were not on her agenda. Not like that, they weren't.

The dashboard clock told her it was time to move or she'd be late for class. She got out of the car, trying to remember to move the way her Mother had been drilling her to move over the past weeks. One thing about the one inch heeled shoes Mum had laid out for her this morning - they cut down her stride so she walked more like a girl. She still tended to stride out like a boy when she forgot herself. She gathered her books and hurried off as quickly as she could in those damn shoes.

She entered the building with the last of the stragglers and came up short as the enormity of it all hit her once more. She had been coming to this school all her life and now, it was different. It seemed bigger, probably because she was now five feet six inches tall instead of six feet and four inches. Anxiety, fear, and uncertainty all welled up and threatened to overwhelm her. She stopped dead in her tracks to try and regain control.

--THUD--

Something crashed into her from behind and sent her sprawling onto the floor. Books and pencils went everywhere.

"Hey! Why'd you stop in the middle of the floor?" Came a young, edgy female voice from above her. "Are you all right? You're not hurt, are you? I am really sorry, but you stopped right in front of me and I was rushing to not be late and..."

"I am all right." Jacqui forced out, trying to stem the flood. She pushed herself to her feet and went over to where her things had ended up on the floor. Her assailant was right beside her. She knelt down to start scooping up pencils as Jacqui bent over to pick up her books.

"Hey!" came the loud stage whisper. "Unless you want to show off those pretty panties to the boys, get down on your knees to do that. That skirt is too short for bending over like that."

A fiery flush rose up Jacqui's face as she quickly dropped down and then spun around so her butt was to the wall. "Thanks. The skirt is my Mom's idea. I haven't worn them much, but she says it is time to learn to be more of lady."

"No problem." A grin lit the gamine face. "Hey, we have to hurry. Who's your home room teacher?"

"Miss Merriweather."

"Hey, me, too. C'mon, I don't want detention the first day. Not by accident anyway." This time the smile was positively devilish, and Jacqui was quite enchanted.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

31 Days A. T.

Jacqui's First Day at School. I let Mum take pictures for the special album I know she is doing on me. All things being what they are, it was not bad. I managed to make it through the entire day without even once trying to walk into the boy's rest room. I consider that a significant victory. I did miss seeing urinals, though, and it did take me a couple of minutes to figure out what that coin operated dispenser next to the door in the girl's room was for. Well, I may need tampons now, but I am damned if I am going to buy them at school. I put three of them in the bottom of my purse when I got home today.

Academics look okay. I was a little worried that my brains had changed along with my body, but I still like math and science. I am glad, too, because I was really looking forward to those Advanced Placement courses in Calculus and Physics. I probably would have screamed if I had arrived at school to find out I was enrolled in Home Ec or Family Life. Thanks, Mum, I needed that.

Gym was a revelation. We played around for a while with a basketball. God, that was depressing. The ball feels heavier, the hoop looks higher, I am a whole lot slower and my coordination just stinks. My shots fell short and moves that should have been graceful nearly took me off my feet because my boobs did not want to change direction with the rest of me. All that aside, I was still better than any of the other girls in the class. Ms. Williams, the gym teacher who also coaches the Girls' Basketball Team, asked me if I was going to try out for the team this year instead of cheerleading. I don't know what Mum will say about that, but I am considering it. I don't really want to be a cheerleader.

Crowded into a tiny locker room with 25 girls who were changing into or out of their gym clothes, was wild. Jack went nuts. There he was, in the middle of your basic male fantasy, surrounded by wall to wall, naked and near naked T&A, and all that happened was my nipples got hard and my crotch got wet. It will make for very nice memories tonight when the lights go out, though. Wait for it, Jack.

It does make me wonder, a little, how other "real" girls feel about their bodies in that kind of situation. How do they feel about themselves and each other? I mean, guys in a locker room are always checking each other out. Who has the biggest penis, who has hair on their balls, who has "scored" - things like that. I know what I was thinking about in that girl's locker room and I don't think those thoughts were shared by very many of the "real" girls in there.

Mostly, I felt really nervous. Would I make some stupidly male remark more appropriate to a boys' locker room? I know I turned away from the group when I buttoned my blouse. Not because I was shy, but because I have not yet gotten the hang of reaching for the buttons on the correct side. I don't know how observant women are about such things, but after Mum's intensive "Girl Basics Course", I am very conscious of such little habits. I saw the other girls do it without any thought at all. I did not want them to see me fumble doing it and wonder why.

Oh, and only four of the girls were wearing skirts. I am going to keep track. I want some pants that do not feel like a straight jacket!

Finally, I ran into this girl, or rather, she ran into me. Bonnie or something is her name. She is new to the area and she is drop dead gorgeous. She had Jack's mental tongue hanging out. She is shorter than me, with blond hair, big blue eyes and even bigger... well, let's just say what she possesses a wonderfully large and shapely mammary development that owes nothing to any woman's foundation garment. Another nice memory from the locker room that I will put to good use later in my bed. She seems to be quite a chatterbox, but she is also pretty nice. Once she found out I was not used to wearing a short skirt, she stuck with me all day and gave me helpful little hints when I needed them. She is in all my classes.

I think I may have made a friend. That makes this whole mess all a little less scary.

You know, I think that is why I am still upset with Mum. This is all so darned scary. Nothing is the way it is supposed to be. I should not be deciding whether to be a basketball player or a cheerleader. I should be playing ball and dating a cheerleader. Look up a couple of paragraphs. I don't even like writing the words "my vagina" or "my pussy" on paper so I wrote "my crotch", instead, but that does not alter the fact that I have one - I really, truly have a vagina and everything else that goes with that.

I am completely out of step with everything that used to be my world.

It is like I was a blind man (ok, blind woman) and someone came into my house and moved all my furniture around. I know I am still home, but I keep bumping into things that aren't quite where or what they should be. And I don't even have a cane to wave in front of me as I walk along so I have to bang my shins into everything. I guess I am just afraid.

End Journal Entry

************** "You did not tell me she was a bloody mathematical and scientific genius, Laurel." Absolute disgust tinged every syllable. "Do you know how hard I am going to have to work to keep from being academically removed from all those courses I so blithely signed up for?"

"Not your favorite things, Bronwyn?" there was a suppressed giggle in Laurie's voice.

"No! I barely made it through geometry when I was in high school and I swore, then and there, that I would never touch a math book again. I see math symbols and I get hot flashes. Don't you dare laugh, blast it!"

A coughing sound punctuated Laurie's attempt not to laugh. Bronwyn glared at her. She had arrived earlier, wearing her own body, for a little chat with Jacqui's Mom. "Well, you did not ask before you offered yourself for the job. Why don't you just eavesdrop on Jacqui's public mind during tests? She always got straight A's. Miss enough of the questions not to get yourselves accused of cheating, but still pass easily."

Bronwyn grimaced. "I will have to, I think. Anyway, my real purpose for coming here as Bronwyn is to discuss a couple of observations. First, I am beginning to question the wisdom of her ultra-feminine wardrobe. She does not deal with it well and I am afraid it may make her withdraw. If she doesn't connect with the other kids in her class because she is so self conscious, she will never develop any real female friendships."

Laurie closed her eyes in frustration. "It was a deviation from what my Mother did with me. She let me find my own way, fashion wise, after she Transformed me. However, I had already finished high school and had time to learn to deal with all the little mannerisms and restrictions of women's clothing. In Jacqui's case, I had my promise to help her change back as quickly as possible to consider. I thought having her dress very femininely, very strikingly would sort of be like shock therapy for her. That it would get her in the proper frame of mind about her new body much more quickly. The alternative was to let her live in sweaters, T-shirts and jeans at school, because she would not know anything about how to live in women's clothing by the time school started."

"Too little time," Bronwyn mused. "She simply did not have any time alone with herself after the Transformation."

"You will recall, Bronwyn, that the issue of timing was discussed, somewhat heatedly. The alternative we considered was to wait until after Jack had finished high school. I was worried that he would not have enough experience in his female identity to feel comfortable at school, but in the end, the general concern about the imminence of the coming conflict won out. We decided to Transform him as soon as possible so that Jacqui would be ready to join us as soon as possible."

Bronwyn frowned, considering. "Well, that is 20-20 hindsight, now. I don't know if waiting would have made things any better. I could wish, however, that she had more time in her Transformed situation before she had to face her new peers. She is very self conscious about her looks, and she has to think about even the most casual movement. We are going to have to watch this, Laurie, and adjust her wardrobe if things don't turn around for her." Laurie wearily nodded her agreement. "I am not saying your decision was wrong, luv, only that we need to be ready to respond if she continues to be so uncomfortable or if she shows signs of withdrawing further into herself."

Bronwyn took a sip of her drink before continuing. "My other mission may help preclude that, too. After watching her today in gym class, I think you need to get a basketball hoop put up here so that Jacqui can practice. I don't think the cheerleader thing is going to fly. She is not going to acclimate quickly enough to be able to fit in with those young women in that environment. I doubt she will even make the squad, no matter what influence we may try to help her. On the other hand, playing on the basketball team will still give her the opportunity to interact with other girls, but in situations that her still changing instincts can deal with from her previous experiences as an athlete. It would also give her something she can use to relieve stress. A couple of times today she got so wired I gave her a little mental nudge to relax her."

Laurie sighed. "Okay. When the Sisterhood discussed the specifics of her Transformation, we decided that it would be best to give her a clean break with that part of her life. That was the reason we opted for the cheerleading thing, to fill in the empty spot in her life and to give her a social standing with the other girls at the school."

Bronwyn nodded. "I remember, but at the time, we could not have anticipated the situation we are forced to deal with now. She needs something familiar to give her back some mental balance, and to help center her."

Laurie agreed and was about to say more when Jacqui slipped into the room. She was obviously fresh from her bath, and wore her robe wrapped about her nightgown. A towel turban wrapped around her hair threatened to come loose. Laurie stood and came over to adjust it for her daughter. "Mum? I am going to go up to bed, now. Long first day at school. I am bushed."

"All right, darling. Before you go, I would like you to meet Ms. Bronwyn Llewellyn. She is an old college friend of mine who just moved to the area." Jacqui offered her hand to Bronwyn the way her Mother had prescribed when meeting another woman and then smiled a greeting.

"Pleased to meet you, Jacqui. I hope I can be your friend, too."

A strange look fluttered across Jacqui's face and she stared at Bronwyn for a moment longer than politeness dictated before smiling again. "I can always use another friend. Well, I need some sleep." She leaned over and gave Laurie a pecking kiss on the cheek. "Night, Mum. Sleep well."

She was out the door before a stunned Laurie could respond. "Laurel, what is it? What is the matter?"

Tears were streaming down Laurie's eyes. "That was the first time she has kissed me. Since the moment of her Transformation, Jacqui has never kissed me and she did it just now because she had an audience, not because she still loves me or wanted to kiss me."

Bronwyn stood to hold her longtime friend. "I think you are wrong. I think she kissed you because I was here to distract her and she forgot she wants to be angry with you. In that moment, her real feelings came out. She still loves you, Laurel. She has come a long way in the last few weeks."

"Goddess, I hope you are right." So do I, Bronwyn thought as she held Laurie. So do I.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

32 A. T.

Mom put up a backboard and hoop for me. I got home from school just as the workmen were leaving. They even painted out a regulation half-court onto the pavement around the basket. Mum offered to play me a game of one-on-one, telling me that since she'd been a girl longer than I had, she would eat my lunch because I was still so "ungraceful".

I murdered her, but it was a gentle death.

I wonder why she did it?

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

42 days A. T. My period started again today.

DAMMIT!

End Journal Entry

A Change in Direction Chapter 12

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

48 days A. T.

First round of school tests are scheduled for next week and Bonnie is really worried about them. Mum said she could stay over at our house this weekend so we can study together and I can help her get ready for them. She says it will be like a mini-slumber party. Slumber party? What do I do at a slumber party?

It may be my imagination, but I think Bonnie has become a little quieter, a little less chattery of late. I like the change.

Anyway, she is going to sleep over from Friday night till Monday morning. She is going to share my bed. Jack is going crazy. Here, we are going to be in same bed with this gorgeous, sexy and voluptuous woman and we can't do anything about it.

Well, I guess there are things that we could do. I remember that magazine that made the rounds last year in the locker room. It showed two women getting it on together without guys.

Yeah. I think that could be pretty nice, now that I remember that. So, am I (Jacqui) a lesbian or is Jack still straight? I don't think I want to know. Of course, if I ever slip up and make it with a guy, then the same question gets asked the other way around, doesn't it?

Oops. Jack just went into his hidey-hole, again. Chicken!

She sure is cuddly-looking. Even if nothing else happens, it will be nice to snuggle up against her.

End Journal Entry.

*********** "Mum?" Laurie looked up from her coffee and morning paper to look at her daughter. She fought to keep the hope out of her eyes, and waited for her daughter to respond now that she had her Mother's attention. "What do girls do at slumber parties?"

"Well, darling, I can't really say. I never had one. The first time I associated with girls as a girl was after I went to college. The closest I can come is when we used to stay up late in the dorm. Besides, I thought you were going to study. What did you do when you have had friends over here for the night?"

"Talked about girls, Mum." The tone was disgusted and Laurie fought back a grin, knowing that it would damage their slowly improving rapport.

"As I recall, we talked about boys. It was one way I learned some of the things birth-girls already knew about them. I just knew about the boy side of things and how boys felt. It was nice to learn the girl side of things before I had to deal with a boy on my own."

"Well, I don't think that is in the cards for me, Mum." Jacqui thought of the boys who had used to be Jack's friends and how they had treated her since school had started. Then she thought of Bonnie. "I may be a girl now, but I am still attracted to girls."

"I understand, luv. I did not opt to have my personality and mind set changed during my Transformation, either. But the power of sex is great and you may find yourself changing your mind in time. As for being attracted to girls, that is to be expected, and I see nothing wrong with it. Girls are very nice." An altogether predatory and sexy grin lit her Mother's face. "Women are even nicer."

"Mother!" Jacqui squawked. "You??!?" The thought of her Mother having sex was one thing, but...

"Yes, Jacqui. I do enjoy sex and I enjoy it with both men and other women. In fact, during those first months after my Transformation, I had an exclusive, monogamous relationship with another woman. It was wonderful. I hope you find someone just as wonderful." Her voice dropped off as the disappointment of not being that "someone" for her daughter clawed at her, again. Clearing her throat, she continued. "But that is up to you in the fullness of time. To answer your earlier question, there are many things you can do - watch television, eat, talk or sleep. For goodness sake, Jacqui, stop worrying about what "girls" do. Try enjoying yourself. This is not supposed to be punishment. Do what feels like fun when you are with other girls. You might be surprised at the things you learn and the things you like."

A tear glistened a single track down Jacqui's cheek. She batted at it furiously, mentally damning the hormones that made her emotions so close to the surface. "Okay, Mum. I will try, but it is just so hard. School is okay, so long as I stick to the class work. Besides Bonnie, I don't know how to talk to the girls or the guys anymore. "Hey, babe, wanna go out for a burger?" doesn't seem to be right somehow, and the guys talk around me or at me so much I could scream. I don't fit in anywhere except in the classroom. I am becoming very popular as a study partner or lab partner." She grimaced at that. "Stop trying so hard." Laurie repeated slowly. "You have a friend whom you like and who likes you. You have people who are willing to accept you on at least an academic level and that is something you can build on. And, I seem to see a real improvement in your shooting."

Jacqui's hands moved to her bosom and cupped herself with a smirk. "I am learning how not to fall when these keep going one way when my feet go another, and I have learned my new range. I am not strong enough for a twenty footer anymore, but I am getting the hang of a ten-to-fifteen footer again. I guess I am going to be a guard and not a power forward. If I make the team."

"You will. I think you have made a lot of progress, dear. Really. Your healing lessons are going very well, too. You have picked it up much faster than I did. So, just take it easy, okay? Look, if you are worried about tonight, just let, what is her name, Bonnie? Let Bonnie take the lead." Taking a huge chance, Laurie stood and went over to stand behind her daughter. She squeezed the girl's shoulders comfortingly and leaned over to whisper into her ear. "Just have fun."

Jacqui sighed and then leaned her head back into her Mother's neck. Gripping her mother's hands in her own, she smiled wanly. "I will try, Mom. I will try." Speaking of fun reminded Jacqui of something. "Mom? Speaking of fun. . . .girls play chess, don't they?" The tone was wistfully hopeful.

"Last time I checked, dear." Laurie laughed. "Why?"

"Well, one of the things you . . . . put into storage for Jack was my chess set. I could still play on the computer, but I liked moving and handling the chessmen when I played."

Laurie smiled gently. "You were the school district champion last year, weren't you?"

A frown shuttered Jacqui's eyes and her voice lost its vibrancy. "Jack won the district championship, but Jack is no longer with us. I have not had the courage to go and see whose name is engraved on the trophy in the school display case."

Hurting for her child, Laurie embraced Jacqui and felt her daughter lean harder into her. "Your name, luv. Jacqueline Donovan. You still won the championship, Jacqui. I never intended this Transformation to diminish you, sweetheart. Quite the opposite, in fact. Every honor you ever won that I could somehow shift to your new life is still yours. Honest."

Jacqui just stood there, for a long, long time, letting herself bask in her Mother's comforting embrace. She had missed it so much. Finally, she spoke, her voice just a little husky with emotion. "So, uhhh, if I get a new chess set, you won't put it into cold storage, too?" Another little hug. "No, love. In fact, I will go looking for one while you entertain your guest. My special treat, okay?"

"Thanks, Mom." Her voice cracked that time. Embarrassed by the emotions she could not seem to control, Jacqui gave her Mother a little kiss on the cheek, and then all but ran from the room.

************* Bonnie rode home from school that night in Jacqui's car. A picture of Jack bringing such a hot looking girl home to Mom brought a bit of a smile to Jacqui's face. Dinner was a jovial occasion, with Bonnie keeping the conversation lively and humorous. Her presence did a lot to ease the remaining tension between mother and Transformed daughter. The three of them made quick work of the after dinner clean up, but when Jacqui suggested they start studying, Bonnie rebelled.

"Do we have to start tonight? Can't we watch some TV, or go for a walk, or something? Isn't tomorrow soon enough for you to crack the whip over my poor head?"

Jacqui pretended to consider. "I don't know." she said speculatively. "Do you really think there is enough time this weekend if we don't get on it right away?"

Bonnie's eyes went wide. Playfully, she picked up the decorative pillow from the couch she was seated on and pitched it at Jacqui's head. "BITCH!!" she spluttered, before falling into a peel of giggles. "No, I don't think we need to work twenty four hours a day. Besides, all work and no play makes Jacqui a very dull girl and will make Bonnie crazy."

Settling the pillow down beside her and taking a very dignified pose, Jacqui sniffed. "Very well. What do you want to do, then?"

"I know, you can show me around the house and then we can go up to your room and play dress-up. I want to play with your hair and makeup. You never wear any and I have been itching to see some on you."

Laurie, seated beside Bonnie on the couch, tried to look only mildly interested as Jacqui dealt with Bonnie's idea. Actually, this was a key aspect of the agenda that she and Bronwyn had worked up for this weekend. Thus far, Jacqui had studiously ignored the array of cosmetics that Laurie had left for her the night after the Transformation. This lesson was one that Jacqui needed, but they had agreed that they would not press it if she resisted strenuously. But Laurie could not help hoping.

Stunned by the idea, Jacqui had to resist refusing out of hand. Bonnie was her friend, and so far, her only friend. She did not want to offend her by declining to do something she wanted to do, but still - to wear makeup? Like a girl? But you are a girl, a niggling thought taunted. Swallowing, she looked nervously at Bonnie. "You. . . ummm . think I really need to wear makeup, Bonnie?"

Bronwyn/Bonnie almost cheered, but instead let a very feminine smile light up her face. "Darling, nobody needs makeup. You need food. You need air and water. Cosmetics are among the little extras that make life special. They make you look good and that makes you feel good." Bonnie decided to sink the hook by letting disappointment and a touch of hurt creep into her voice. "But, if you don't want to. . ."

Jacqui fell on the bait and took it down in one gulp. "No, no. It sounds like. . ." She swallowed again and licked her dry lips, "umm, fun." Shock sent icy chills down her body as she realized what she had just agreed to do with Bonnie. Bonnie and her Mother just sat there looking at her, waiting for her to do. . . what? Finally to fill in the gap in conversation, Jacqui forced a smile and asked. "So, Bonnie. What do you want to see first? I know. I will show you my library. Yes, that is perfect."

Surprised by that statement, Laurie forgot her decision to remain silent and asked "Your library, Jacqui? What is so perfect about starting in your library?"

The smile on her daughter's face became blinding as she stood up and hauled her friend to her feet. "So Bonnie will know the place of my retribution tomorrow if she gets too carried away with this make-over plan of hers. Come along, Bonnie, let's go see my whips and chains. See you, Mum."

Bronwyn managed to shoot a look of triumph at Laurie before she had to stagger after Jacqui to keep from falling as she was dragged from the room bodily. Laurie smiled softly at the little victory. She hoped it would work and that Jacqui would start experimenting a little with her looks on her own. Hopefully, she would start taking a little feminine pride in her appearance. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, she'd see her daughter in make up for the first time since that abortive trip to the beautician.

A couple of hours later, Jacqui was sitting in front of her vanity mirror, staring at herself and trying to sort out all the feelings that were assailing her. Confusion was a large part of it, but there were also sizable pieces of pride and even arousal in the mix, too. Just to make sure she was not dreaming, she closed her eyes and pinched herself hard. Nothing changed when she reopened her eyes.

The woman looking back from her mirror was someone Jacqui did not know. The hair she had taken to wearing in a ponytail (because it was easy), had been teased into lion-mane fullness. It also seemed to change the shape of her head completely. Her face was different, too. The colors that Bonnie had chosen from that dizzying array of bottles and pots were very subtle, yet very effective. Her eyes seemed larger and more doe-like; her cheeks seemed higher and more shapely; her lips seemed fuller and more pouty.

That was not all. She was wearing a very silky, shorty nightgown that Bonnie had found in a bag of clothes from that marathon shopping trip. Jacqui had hidden that bag in the bottom of her bottom armoire drawer so she would not have to look at it, but Bonnie had found it mere moments after they had entered Jacqui's room. Once she'd seen it, nothing else in Jacqui's entire wardrobe had been satisfactory. Lord, Jacqui thought, I can see my nipples puckering through this thing.

Her fingernails were again adorned with polish. This time the color was one more suited to Jacqui's dark gypsy coloring than the one she had worn initially as Scully's twin. Her toenails had been painted to match and on her feet were the two and a half inch tall high heeled mules she had tried to talk her Mother out of buying when they'd gone to the shoe store.

"Well?!?" Bonnie's tone was impatient, with just a touch of anxiety thrown in for effect. "What do you think?" Bronwyn let her voice become wheedling.

Jacqui opened her mouth to answer, but could find no words. Her head swivelled to look at Bonnie then back to the mirror before finally setting on her friend. "I don't know what to think. I did not know I could look this way. I'm...." she struggled to force out the word. "Goodness, Bonnie, I am pretty."

Bonnie snorted. "Pretty, hell, girl. You are beautiful." "Sexy as hell" was Jack's uninvited input. Jacqui ordered him back into his cave. She had enough trouble on her hands. "Heck, a little work and you would have the boys lining up to take you out."

That remark got just the negative response the Bronwyn had expected. "Boys are not a big thing in my life, Bonnie. I have things to work out before I consider going that way."

Bonnie shrugged. "Whatever. Boys do have their uses, especially if you train them well. Still, you still ought to make the most of your looks because the other girls will notice. I don't understand how you can have all this wonderful stuff and not use it. And that bloody ponytail. Let me tell you, Jacqui, if I see that thing again I am going to do something violent to your hair."

Jacqui's voice became a whisper. "One reason I don't use it is because I don't know how. Mom bought this stuff, not me. This, " and she swept a hand over the top of the cosmetics, "is not something I would purchase. I just don't see myself that way."

"Well, you ought to, girl. And how can you not know how to use makeup? Your Mom seemed to wear hers well enough. Really subtle work - only another woman would even see what she had done. If she bought this, why didn't she teach you how to do it?"

Jacqui looked away. "Ummm, well, my Mom and I are not getting along just now."

"Huh!" was Bonnie's disbelieving response. "The woman I saw tonight thinks you put the stars in the sky. I like your Mom."

Suddenly, Jacqui needed to talk to someone, needed to air her feelings, at least a little. Wasn't that what friends were for? Carefully, she chose her words and asked, "What if I told you she took something from me, maybe forever. Something I never thought I could lose because it was everything I thought I wanted out of life. She simply took it from me, without warning, and then thought I should be grateful."

Bronwyn listened to the emotion as much as the words. She heard the hurt, the lingering sense of betrayal. She paused as if to consider Jacqui's words. "Sounds like a man." she said, deliberately misunderstanding, "Is that why you aren't into boys, because you have a man you are in love with?"

"No. Nothing like that. More like a dream. What I wanted to do with my life. Where I would go to school. Something like that, anyway." She sighed.

Bonnie pursed her lips. "Well, I don't know, girlfriend. Off hand, and without knowing the whole story, I would say your Mom probably thought she was doing the best she could for you. I don't know much about her, but if that was not love and pride I saw in her eyes at dinner, I completely misread her. Don't you love her?" The infinitely costly question was out in the open. Bronwyn crossed her mental fingers for her dear friend.

"So much it is killing me to think she could do this to me, change me into a wo... I mean, change my entire life without so much as a "by your leave" or honest warning."

"Do you think she loves you?" Another big question floated down on to the table.

"Now. I think she does now. I thought she did before, but then she did this. And all I can wonder is what wasn't good enough about me before?"

"Jacqui, you are working very hard not to tell me explicitly what your Mom did. What I do think is that she loves you and you love her, and you are both hurting. I think you should try to believe that she did whatever "it" was, because she honestly believed that it was the best thing she could do for you. If you try that, and you find you cannot believe it, then maybe you have to leave. You are almost eighteen. You can leave after you graduate from school."

"If I do that, I can never regain what I lost."

"Can your Mother undo what she has done?"

"She says she can't. After seeing how miserable we have both been, I think I even believe her, but she says she has the means to help me undo it. Eventually."

"It sounds to me as if she made a mistake, Jacqui, one based in love, but a mistake none-the-less. Do you think she is unwilling to help you achieve this goal of yours now?"

"No." Jacqui sighed. "She is not unwilling. Disappointed, but she will help me."

"Then if I were you, I would try to forgive her and get on with your life and what you must do. Love is a very precious commodity in this life, luv. I would not throw any of it away if I were you."

Tears cascaded down Jacqui's face, cutting mascara-black rivers through the rest of her makeup. Sobbing, she let Bonnie take her in her arms and lead her to the bed, where she cried herself to sleep in the comfort of her friend's arms.

A Change of Direction Chapter 13

It was a quieter, more introspective Jacqui who ruthlessly drilled her friend on calculus differentials and derivatives the next day. Bronwyn had not carried through on her threats of the previous night when the familiar ponytail had reappeared after Jacqui's morning shower. When the pair took a break to walk to the store for some things Laurie needed for dinner, Bronwyn let her friend brood in peace. Bronwyn was tired of hearing Bonnie's chatter, too, and even more tired of having to think of things to chatter about.

When they returned, Jacqui surprised her Mother by giving her a pecking kiss on the cheek along with the groceries. Then she hustled a resigned Bonnie back off to the library for more calculus work.

Around four p.m., Jacqui called a halt for the day, much to Bronwyn's undisguised relief. The two went up to the bedroom and cleaned up for dinner. Bronwyn nearly cheered when Jacqui took down her hair and tried for a facsimile of what Bonnie had done for her the night before. Jacqui did not ask for help, and so, Bronwyn elected not to offer any. Then she added just a touch of lipstick, applying it with such care and intensity that Bronwyn had to go into the bathroom to keep from laughing and ruining everything she'd worked for.

Dinner was a quieter affair than the previous evening's had been. Laurie and Bronwyn let Jacqui set the tone, and she was too distracted to contribute much in the way of conversation. If, from time to time, the other two women glimpsed the Transformed Woman staring intently at her Mother, they did not remark upon it. Bronwyn had set the stage for the internal battle that Jacqui was fighting, but the battle had to be fought alone. They could hope that she would come to accept what had happened to her and forgive her Mother for her part in it, but only Jacqui could make that decision. They had, rightly or wrongly, made the first decision to Transform Jack into Jacqui, and now, Jacqui had to live with the effects of that decision. Laurie, Bronwyn and the entire Sisterhood would now have to live with the ramifications of the decisions that Jacqui would have to make for herself.

Bonnie sent Jacqui upstairs to bathe after the dinner dishes were done, giving her first crack at the tub. Once she was out of hearing range, Bronwyn turned to Laurie. "I couldn't get her out of the room last night once I had her dolled up. She confided in me sooner than I thought she would and then she broke down under the emotion."

Laurie started to say something, then looked away. She did not want to see the pity in Bronwyn's eyes. "Does....does she hate me?"

The answering hug was fierce. "She is hurt, luv, but she loves you very much. That is why she wants to hate you, because the love made the hurt worse." Bronwyn wanted to ease her friend's pain at Laurie still saw as "her failure". "At least we really only lose a few years, Laurel. If Jacqui does effect the re-Transformation, Jack will then only be able to father girl children, whom you will be able to train into the Sisterhood. They won't have the Power themselves, but like us, they will breed only sons who will possess that spark. And you and I will be there to help convert those sons to our calling. It is only a momentary setback, love, not a deathblow." she said fervently. "We will have lost Jacqui's considerable potential, but the Sisterhood will survive, Laurel."

Laurie nodded, then she seemed to visibly steel herself. "If I am still here to train those children, Bronwyn." Laurie's eyes overflowed before turning hard and flat. "As High Priestess of the Sisterhood, you are aware that there is a way to break my final Spell without Jacqui having to go through the entire learning process."

Bronwyn started to correct Laurie's misstatement and then she realized what her friend meant. Stark terror clutched at Bronwyn's heart. "No! You will not even permit you to consider that option. Have faith in your daughter. If she wants to be a male again enough, she will do what needs be done. I forbid you even to discuss this further. If she elects to opt out of the Sisterhood, that is one thing. We will need you when the dark time comes. I don't know if we can prevail without you."

"It is not your choice, Bronwyn, and in this instance, I don't care about the needs of the Sisterhood. My child is what I care about, and if my child cannot forgive me for what I have done to him. If my child wants nothing more of me than to be free of me and my foolhardy decision to Transform him against his will, then I will do anything," the word came out as a sobbing rasp, "anything to make that up to him. And you will see that it is done, because it is my right to ask it of you and your duty to see that my Death Wish is granted, High Priestess. On my death, the enchantment that prevents anyone but Jacqui from undoing the Transformation Spell will die with me. I ask, as my formal Death Wish, that the Sisterhood grant my child's wish should that come to pass, High Priestess."

Tears were now streaming down Bronwyn's cheeks. Goddess, how could you permit this to go so wrong. And yet, she is right. It would work, and damn her, I don't have any other choice. Refusal would be grounds for my dismissal as High Priestess and my replacement would still have to do as she asks. "Very well," the words shuddered out of her mouth, "So Be It."

"So Be It." Laurie responded.

"Give her a chance, Laurie, please? At least a few more months? If college sport is more important to her than her Mother, surely we can wait until summer. Give me that much time? And besides, she won't want the gift at that price."

"She will never know." was the angry response. "I will die somewhere else, in an "accident". You will never tell her, Bronwyn, or I swear, my friendship to you is forfeit."

"Time, Laurie," she pleaded one more time, "Give me time, please."

Laurie saw the acquiescence in her friend's eyes and nodded. "Very well. Until the Summer Solstice, Bronwyn. We will try to help her find her way in this world that is not of her choosing. We will teach her the things and arts she must learn to wield the Gift of the Goddess and to control the Transformation Spell. But, if we cannot do that, and my child remains as miserable as she is right now, then we will give her back the life she wants."

"At the cost of your own, Laurel? Goddess, woman, she loves you, Laurie. I know she does." Bronwyn whispered.

"That only makes it worse. Take care of her, Bronwyn. I need some rest." And with that, Laurie left the room.

"Goddess, what ever am I going to do now?" Bronwyn asked plaintively. There was no answer.

She went up to the bedroom after fixing her face (it had taken more magic than makeup) and found Jacqui watching the end of "The Wizard of Oz" on television. Even though it was Hollywood schlock, Bronwyn cringed a little when Dorothy killed the Wicked Witch with the pail of cleaning water. Thoroughly distracted by her confrontation with Laurie, she did not notice when Jacqui perked up at the Wicked Witch's dying words.

After the credits rolled, Jacqui turned to her friend. "So, what do we do tonight? Another makeup lesson to get back at me for beating you bloody with the Central Limit Theorem?"

Doing her best to look evil and mischievous, Bronwyn asked in a passable imitation of the Wicked Witch, "Well, my pretty, how ever did you guess?"

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

51 days A. T.

Bonnie is asleep now. She's exhausted - it must be really tiring being such a demanding bitch. If she is as put out with my "dictatorial teaching style' as she let on earlier today, she sure got even with me tonight. For tonight's lesson in "Basic Girl Stuff - 101", she made me do my own making up. This was not a pretty sight.

She did, however, eventually relent enough to show me how to fix my mistakes without having to clean and scrape the gunk off and start from scratch each time. Since I made a lot of mistakes, I had plenty of opportunities to practice. I finally got to where I was about half as good looking as I was last night.

I still don't get it. Why do real women, oops, excuse me. . . . Why do we put up with this??

After she had laughed herself into a better mood at my expense, so she showed me some other things you can do with cosmetics. She turned me into quite the sexy little slut. None of the subtlety of last night, just bright color and stark contrasts. I looked like a real life version of that gypsy dancer from that Disney movie take off on the "Hunchback of Notre Dame".

That was not all bad. Maybe this could serve some purpose I don't yet understand. Watching her do it to me in my mirror took my mind off . . . things tonight. I wonder if Bonnie is going to study psychology in college? She sure is not going to study math or physics, but she did a great job of shredding my mind last night.

Afterwards, we cuddled in my bed. I thought we were going to end up playing "you-show-me-yours-and-I'll-show-you-mine" by the Braille method (with our fingers, Jack), but just before we could get into each other's panties, she fell asleep. ASLEEP!!! I don't know how she could do it. I was so knotted up inside, I went back into the bathroom to let my fingers do the walking. Maybe real girls don't get worked up that way? Another little extra added benefit of the Transformation Spell, perhaps? A case of terminal hot pants?

End Journal Entry.

*************** Sunday started much as Saturday had, except that Jacqui was a little more talkative. After helping clean up the breakfast dishes, she absently kissed her Mother before dragging a loudly complaining Bonnie off to continue the studies.

At two o'clock, Jacqui looked up at her friend. "You sure you really want to take these courses?"

Caught, Bronwyn thought. "No, I don't, but pre-vet schools look for things like this on your transcript."

"You will make a great Vet, Bonnie. You have a way of being. . . comforting even when you are chewing me out." Jacqui smiled in self derision. "Like last night about my Mom." She reached out and took Bronwyn's hand. "Thank you for that. My Mom and I were able to talk more easily this morning. What you said the other night, well, it helped a little."

"I am glad." She made a shaking movement with her shoulder. "Now, am I going to pass these tests?"

"I think so. Actually, the last few hours have not been bad." That is because I have been eavesdropping on your mind as you work the problems out for yourself, Bronwyn thought. "Yeah, you should do fine."

"Then can we please relax for the rest of the weekend?" Jacqui laughed at how pitiful her friend managed to look.

"Okay, but I'd like a favor." Bronwyn gave a "so ask" look. "Could you help me dress for dinner? Clothes, makeup, the works? I'd . . ahhhh, I'd like to surprise Mom.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

52 Days A. T.

I am not sure, but I think I made Mom cry tonight when I came down to dinner. Bonnie helped me get ready. All right. She did everything, and I just sat there. She made me up as she did the first night - really subtle. I can still barely see what she does, only I know Jacqui looks a whole lot better when she is done. She put me in a skirt and blouse, which surprised me. I thought she would pull out one of those dresses Mom bought which still have not seen the light of day from my closet. I think she chose this outfit because she has seen me in fairly often and figured I would be more comfortable in it.

She did something strange with my hair. . it twisted around and sat up on the back of my scalp. She called it a French Twist. I don't know about the French part, but if felt like she was trying to twist my scalp off when she did it.

Then she made me wear one of the pairs of heels Mom insisted on buying, but again, not the slinkiest ones. These are only and inch or so tall and I was able to move fairly easily in them.

The total effect was really pretty. Jack thought so, and so did I. Evidently Mom did, too, because when I came down, she gave me this odd look and then hurried off to the kitchen. I was afraid I had done something wrong and I gave Bonnie a nervous look. She just squeezed my hand and led me into the dining room.

During dinner, every time I glanced at Mom, she was just. . . . looking at me. And she had this little Mona Lisa half smile on her face.

I wanted to ask her if it was okay, but I chickened out. Not because I did not want to know, but more because I am still not sure I want her to know that her opinion mattered that much.

That makes me feel kind of small.

Thank goodness Bonnie was there. That little chatterbox filled in some very awkward silences tonight during and after dinner. I owe her, big time. She makes a lot of things with Mom and me easier. I think I need them to be easier, just now. Have to run, Bonnie is coming back from the bathroom, and it is my turn in the tub.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

52 Days A. T.

WOW!!

Bonnie made love with me tonight after we went to bed. It was fantastic! And she did it so slowly, like every touch, every kiss, every lick and nibble were just so . . . important. I am surprised I did not shred my bedding with my fingernails I was holding on so hard.

Then she taught me how to do it, to her, with my own fingers and mouth. That was almost as good - better in some ways. I love the way she tastes! I love the power of holding her pleasure on the tips of my fingers or on the edge of my tongue. I love hearing her beg for her release and then holding back just a second or two longer so she's really frantic before I tip her over the top.

She called me a "cunt-tease". HA. I rather like that, and I want to do it again. Soon.

Afterwards, she just held me, and praised me. Told me how well I did for a first timer. Being held that way, cuddling and talking was really nice, too.

And we could do it so often! I had at least three or four cums (I am not sure because the blond bombshell over there had me pretty well strung out for a while) and I could never do that when, well, I might as well say it, when I was Jack.

Not that Jack ever did it with anyone but Merry Hand and her Five Sisters back then. How strange that my first time making love to a girl is as a girl. I don't know how it could be better than this. On the very bright side, I will know a lot about what really pleases a woman when I am a man again.

Another thing I wonder at is where Bonnie learned to do that. Are girls that much more open with other girls than guys are with one another? I do not intend to get involved sexually with guys, but it would be nice to be able to do this when I am at college. I don't think Bonnie is going to go college here in town as I have decided to do(I need to be close to Mum to keep up my other "lessons"), and making love with someone else is so much better than doing it alone.

I am over here writing right now so I won't go back to the bed and ravish the poor dear. She has had a rough weekend. Gosh but she is pretty, all blond and round, and her breasts are just so perfect.

Oh well, maybe she doesn't need quite that much sleep.

End Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 14

An excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

68 days A. T.

I guess that since I have been Jacqui now for over two months, it is perhaps time to start counting months instead of days? Next entry, I think.

Something is really bothering Mom, and it is getting progressively worse every day. Every time Ms. Llewellyn comes to visit, they go into her library and then she comes out still more upset. I have tried to talk to her about it like Bonnie talks to me about my problems? But she just gives me this sad little smile and tells me I am imagining things. All I know is that something about all this is really setting my hair on end. Wish she would let me help or something. Guess real girls have some type of sensitivity I either lack or have not developed yet. I really wish I could do for her what Bonnie did for me.

Another problem on a similar issue. I am not sure why, but I keep remembering the wicked witch's death scene in The Wizard of Oz whenever I see her upset like that. It is a creepy feeling. And it is so vividly clear in my mind, almost like I am actually watching the show on a TV in my head. I keep seeing the witch die, over and over again.

I DON'T LIKE IT!! Okay, so I made that stupid crack about Salem the day after she Transformed me. I REGRET THAT, OKAY???? It was a stupidly male comment intended to wound her and

I DID NOT MEAN IT!

I just wish I could take back the words.

Something else has changed, too, and it is not to my liking. I played chess today on the Internet, again. And I got CREAMED, again! My mind wanders so much now I can only keep two or three moves ahead. I know the correct moves to make. I proved that later when I reconstructed the games. I just lacked focus at the time I was playing.

And I made a couple of strange, really impulsive moves in another game that, in the light of reconstructing the moves, were very weak. I know better. I am, or at least, Jack was, a much better chess player than this. The only game I seem to win consistently now is a "speed game", where thinking ahead time is limited. I seem to have an instinct for the game that does not work as well when my opponent has time to plan moves ahead and can use it to control the game.

I am not comfortable with this. I was never very good at the speed game before. The strength of my game was cold, rational, ruthless strategy. Now, it is like there is too much else in my skull. I cannot focus the way I used to focus. Tomorrow, I will talk to Mom about it. Hopefully, she might be able to help.

End Journal Entry

*************** Jacqui slipped down to the kitchen early the following day. Although not in her Mother's class when it came to cooking, she was pretty good for a teenage male. That meant she was probably adequate as a teenage female. She set out to fix a special breakfast for her Mom.

Shortly, the smell of coffee brought Laurie down to the table, still yawning. "G'mornin'" she mumbled. "What are you doing up?"

"Wanted to beat you down for a change and see if I can still make a decent omelet." Jacqui grinned as she set a fluffy folded egg concoction and a cup of steaming coffee in front of her Mother.

Laurie eased into the seat and took a sip of the coffee before tasting the egg. "Delicious." she proclaimed with her mouth full. She swallowed and then looked up at her daughter. "And why shouldn't it be wonderful? I taught Jack years ago. Did you think being female would do something negative to your cooking talents?"

Jacqui laughed easily, surprising both women. "No, Mum. But some things have been. . . .changing." She hesitated, not knowing how to ask the question. The part of her that was still Jack pressed the issue and forced her to confront it directly. "Mum, does being female change something fundamental in my head? In my brain?" Laurie considered this for a long time. "I am not sure I know what you mean, dear. Are you having trouble with your school work?"

Jacqui shook her head. "No, not trouble. Just something out of my experience. Like yesterday, I was playing chess at the park with one of the older folks who go there?" Laurie nodded her understanding. "Well, I got this wild notion to make this one particular move. It completely violated the strategy of the gambit I was trying to play, but the feeling was so . . . .demanding, I guess. Anyway, on a whim, I just did it. I expected to get clobbered but what actually happened was that the move totally disrupted the variation the other guy was trying to play and I won in four more moves. On the other hand, I can't control a game like I could before. I tend to get. . . distracted." Jacqui broke eye contact with Laurie as if that admission had somehow embarrassed her.

She visibly gathered herself, returned her gaze to her Mother and pressed on. "Another example is I can be alone in a room, working on my schoolwork, and my concentration will break because I will suddenly just know that someone is going to enter the room in the next minute." Jacqui frowned. "Heck, Mom, as Jack, a marching band could be in the room with me and I would not have noticed them. I used to be able to just close out the world when I studied. Now, I can't."

Laurie set down her cup and looked pensively at her daughter. "Sounds to me as if you are starting to develop a fairly strong intuition."

Jacqui snorted derisively. "Intuition? As in women's intuition? Isn't that just a convenient myth?"

So, Laurie thought with a rueful smile. Jack is still with us. It was to be expected. She'd only been female, what, two months? "Look at it this way, Jacqui. The ability to focus on a goal to the exclusion of anything else, or how did you put it? Oh, yes to close out the world." She grinned over her cup. "That is a very fine talent if your job is to go kill the mastodon and drag its wooly carcass back to the cave. That is what men evolved to do. However, if your job is to protect the family while said male is out stalking dinner, other and perhaps broader instincts might be the result of the natural selection process. Other input, that a man might not need to process, that might only distract him at the critical point of the hunt, for a woman and her family might be the difference between escaping and living, or staying put and dying. Darwin doesn't just make animals bigger, stronger or faster, dear. Survival of the fittest means many things. For women it meant developing different talents and characteristics than it did for men."

"So this is real? This is something you experienced? I'm not. ." and her voice trailed off, uncertainly.

"Yes, it is real, and I did experience what you are describing, although I don't remember it being quite so upsetting to me. And you are not. . . WHAT?" Laurie infused the word with Motherly command.

"I thought I was going a little crazy. What has been happening made no sense. There was no data I could see, but I was just so. . .so sure." She flung her arms up in a sign of frustration.

"You are not going crazy, dear. The data was there, just not evident to your "regular" senses. Intuition is very real, and if you must be so bloody analytical about it, I suspect that it uses peripheral senses. Like seeing something out of the corner of your eye. Your subconscious knows it is there, but it is not in the field of vision your conscious mind is analyzing. As a result of evolution, women can accept, process and act upon such data. Men have not evolved that way."

A relieved Jacqui began to work on her own meal. "So, I should learn to accept these feelings, and to act on them? Is that part of being a female that I have to learn?"

Laurie hid a grin. Everything still pointed to how to get to the goal of being a male again. How very masculine of you, dear daughter, she thought. Now was probably not the time to tell her daughter that another element of her womanly heritage was a strong, almost psychic empathy that also fed that intuition. That did not fit into the "seeing out of the corner of your eye" model she had just sold the girl on. That might be more than Jacqui could assimilate in one sitting. Besides, if the other explanation was sufficient to help her accept the evidence of her new perceptions, that was more than enough for the moment.

Laurie conspicuously stuck her tongue into her cheek. "Well, if you got a strong feeling to jump in the road in front of a car, I would hope you would be more rational about it than that." The answering grin from Jacqui was just what she had hoped for. Now, Laurie became serious once more. "On the other hand, I think you should regard these strong feelings as part of the way you now view the world. If it is safe to do so, experiment with them. If the feeling is recurring and strong, I would suggest that it might be important."

Jacqui frowned again and Laurie caught it. "You can always talk to me, luv, if you are bothered. I am a bit more comfortable with such things than you are just now. I might be able to help you."

For a moment, Laurie thought the girl might want to say something, but in the end she just smiled. "It's probably nothing, Mom. Thanks for explaining things to me. It has helped."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

2 Months 14 days A. T.

It has been almost a week since my talk with Mom about this blasted intuition thing. Well, mine has been driving me crazy, or if it hasn't, then I am simply going crazy all by myself.

I am dreaming of that damned Witch in Oz, now. Every night for the past few days, I have come out of a sound sleep with the Witch's death scene playing in Technicolor on the backs of my eyelids.

Only thing is, this morning the scene changed - big time! Instead of the green faced actress melting, the witch was Mom, and instead of Dorothy holding the water pail, it was Jacqui. Me.

Mom, this is getting really creepy, and I am getting really frightened.

I can't do what Mom suggested. I can see how that conversation would go. "Hey, Mom, my intuition tells me I am going to kill you." Right. That ought to help improve matters between us.

So, what do I do? I wish I knew another one of her Witch buddies. I would really like a disinterested opinion on this. But I don't have one, and I am not comfortable with this intuition thing yet to decide what to do. So I have decided on a plan of action that ought to give me some more "hard" data.

It took a while to figure this out, but everything keeps pointing back to the scene in the movie. Whatever is bothering me, must be there in that movie itself.

Tonight, Bonnie is coming to stay the night again. Before she arrives, I am going to make time to watch the movie again. Maybe that will give me the clue I am missing. I think the old remote may get a real workout when Jacqui, I mean Dorothy pitches that water pail.

End Journal Entry.

***************** Jacqui crept out of bed at dawn. Bronwyn felt her leave, but the girl obviously wanted to be alone and decided it was best to let her. She was so tired, anyway. Jacqui had been restless the entire night. She'd gotten out of bed several times and paced about the room, or sat at her vanity. Whatever was bothering her had kept Bronwyn from getting much rest, either. She'd catch a few more winks before she had to suffer the torture of optics and wave theory later that morning.

Laurie came down to find coffee made and her daughter sitting at the kitchen table. "What's wrong, luv? Can't sleep?" One thing about her child had remained constant, Laurie mused, he or she would not miss a minutes sleep she did not have to miss.

"No. Yes. Well, maybe." Laurie smiled at that. So familiar, she thought. "Mum? I have a question and I want an honest answer."

Laurie went still. "I will not lie to you, Jacqui. I have already promised you that."

"Not lying is not the same thing as telling the truth as I discovered a few months ago, Mum. I need the truth and the whole truth - nothing held back. Your word, Mum, Please."

"Very well, if you feel that my oath is necessary. I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So be it." Laurie intoned, her hands open and in front of her.

"I have been having those feelings we talked about again. Actually, I have been having them ever since that night that The Wizard of Oz was on television. I love that movie."

"I know. I think we have three copies on video and you still never miss it on TV." The smile was soft, maternal and it made Jacqui's heart skip a beat.

"Mum, when the Wicked Witch is killed, she says something about all her works being destroyed with her." Laurie went stock still. Her empathy cannot be that strong, she thought in dismay. Her daughter's next words dashed that hope to bits. "Is that true? If a ... witch," she stumbled over the word, "dies, do the effects of her spells die with her?"

Laurie wanted so badly to lie, but knew she could not. Moreover, she knew that Jacqui had seen the longing to evade that question in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she tried to answer the question without giving herself away. "The effects of some simple spells do. Some spells are special spells, and those do not necessarily end with the death of the person who cast them."

Jacqui heard the hesitancy in her Mother's voice and decided to ask the question she wanted answered outright. "Will I turn back into Jack if you die?"

Laurie looked away, refusing to meet her daughter's gaze. "No, Jacqui. The spell is permanent unless and until someone specifically removes it."

Jacqui pounced on it. "Someone! That is the first time you did not say that I had to break it. Just now, you said "someone else" had to do it." Jacqui considered that. A flash of that intuition struck her. "The key is still your death, isn't it?" she said flatly.

Defeated, Laurie nodded and explained the process in detail. Jacqui listened impassively throughout the entire monologue. When Laurie had finished, Jacqui sat staring into her coffee cup. "You should know, darling, that in the event I die before you have learned everything you must know to undo the Transformation, friends of mine will then be able to do it for you. In fact, I have asked a special friend of mine to promise that she will see to it that your wishes are granted should I . . . die."

Fear clutched hard at Jacqui's guts. She could not do this without Mom. There had been mornings where only the assurance of Mom being there had given her the courage to go on. She had to have Mom with her all the way through this. "You will give me another promise, Mother. You will do nothing to take your own life, do you hear me?!!? Jacqui was screaming and she was shaking her Mother bodily with hands gripping the lapels of Laurie's robe. "You will live with this the same as I have to. You will do everything you can, short of harming one hair on your head, to help me, but don't you DARE do that to me. Don't you DARE take my Mother from me along from with everything else. Damn you, I LOVE you and I will live with almost anything except your blood on my hands."

"You. . . you love me? After. . . after.."

The two women met in a fierce embrace. "Yes. After everything. It was Bonnie who first reminded me of that fact. It was the same weekend I saw the movie on TV, again. I could not hear you through the hurt before. I know you thought this was for the best. At least, I knew that in here." and she touched her fingers to her forehead. "But it took a while to accept it down here." She patted her breast. "I make you a solemn promise, Mother. If you die before I am capable of making my own decision, and your friend comes to me? I swear that I will choose the option I want the least."

Eyes wide, Laurie sputtered. "That is a stupidly male reaction. Goddess, but you are just pigheaded enough to mean that."

"You know it, so I guess you had better be very careful until I can manage my own Transformation and make my own decision."

Sighing, Laurie nodded. "Okay. I promise." She lifted a sleeve to wipe away tears. Her daughter loved her. That was enough for now, and Laurie was wise enough not to press for more. "So, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Oh, something light - fruit and toast? I have been informed that I eat a little too enthusiastically." she sniffed indignantly. "But I will get my revenge. Four hours of refraction, reflection and interference patterns ought to cross her eyes for her."

Better you than me, Bronwyn, Laurie thought, and then shoo-ed her daughter off to wake her friend.

***************** Jacqui was in the library setting up for the day's study when Laurie got Bronwyn alone. "And she figured it out all by herself? I swear, Laurie, I said nothing to her. I did nothing to alert her."

"I did not think you did, luv. I think, however, we may have seen the first inkling of deeper knowing and strong empathy with her. And I think she is starting to read me like a book. Jack never could, but I think my daughter sees deeper." The disgusted look on her friend's face brought a chuckle to Bronwyn. "You had better be careful, Miss." Laurie snapped, peevishly. "She might start reading you!"

"Ah, but unlike your own skills, deception is at the core of my talent, dear heart. She will have to become much more advanced and powerful to read past my shields. She just might, though. If she can put so little real information together and put you on the spot like that." Bronwyn just shook her head. "Good thing we only need to maintain this masquerade until she graduates."

"Well, just be sure to be very careful around me, Bron. If she reads me too well, she might pick up on you."

"What a wonderful thought. Well, I am off to learn more about waves than I really care to know. See you at lunch."

********************* October turned into November into December, and things became easier between Jacqui and her Mother. Meals and quiet times were no longer the silent battlefields of dark looks, cold backs and pointed sniffs they had been shortly after the Transformation. Bonnie/Bronwyn was a frequent visitor and dinner guest. Study time they called it, Laurie snorted derisively to herself. Well, Jacqui was learning how to enjoy that body she now wore, and that was an important part of learning the master the Transformation Spell. She was also learning how to give as good as she got, if the goofy grins of utter satiation on Bronwyn's face when she stopped to say good bye were any indication.

Jacqui tried out for and made the girl's basketball team, although she was not a starter. Her strength and body control were simply not up to her (Jack's) previous standards. She was an adequate shooter and a determined, hard nosed defender, but her body just could not do what her mind "told" it to do. As a result, she tended to fall the floor or to trip over her own feet fairly regularly. In a year or two, she would have learned her new body well enough to be an excellent player again.

Unfortunately, there just was not enough time for her body to relearn all that before the start of the season. Still, she played about fifteen of the forty eight minutes each game, usually as the second player off the bench. Both Laurie and Bronwyn were encouraged with the way the girl opened up with her teammates, and how they quickly integrated her into their after school activities. She wasn't "one of the girls", but she was "one of the team", and that helped her acclimate a bit more.

Her grades continued to be among the best in the school, and she had been accepted at all of the colleges to which she had applied. Laurie had been surprised by Jacqui's decision to attend the local state college instead of heading off to one of the more prestigious science schools.

Staying close to home made sense, though, since only Laurie could teach her daughter what she needed to know, what she still wanted to know. Sometimes Laurie still wished for the post-Transformation relationship she had enjoyed with her own Mother. The happy discoveries, the little victories over the unexpected pitfalls of being female, the shared laughter and the lovemaking were all things she was unable to share with her own daughter.

Her daughter was attacking (that was the only word that fit) every task Laurie set for her. Frankly, it was just a little scary how easily the girl had absorbed and stored away large amounts of knowledge in that computer brain of hers. Laurie was particularly pleased with how well her daughter was picking up the fundamentals of Laurie's own specialty, the healing magic, although the girl did tend to forget to shield herself properly when she established a link.

That was really not a problem when healing minor ills or when simply giving comfort, but it could be a huge problem if the hurt or disease being dealt with was really serious. In that case, a failure to properly shield could be fatal for the healer. The healing link was almost like a sharing of life, and if the individual being healed was ill enough, he or she could almost syphon life out of the healer. A healer had to learn to protect the vital inner core of their own life-power, or else both healer and patient might die. Laurie wondered if Jacqui's problem with shielding was that there was still so much "Jack" in Jacqui. Males rarely felt the need to protect themselves the way women often did. Laurie herself had learned the healing arts far later in her transition that Jacqui was learning them now. Was Laurie's own instinct for feminine-based self protection more keenly developed because of that, or was she just more inclined that way than her daughter? She did not know, but hoped that Jacqui would start to remember to be more careful with herself in the future. Particularly with healing.

Still, Laurie could not have hoped for a better, more motivated pupil. She just wished that what it was that motivated her daughter could have been different.

So, things were definitely looking up, at least in Laurie's view, when one evening in early December, an angry and distraught Jacqui had stormed into the house. Completely ignoring her Mother's greeting, the girl had stomped up to her room without a word. Moments later, she had come flying down the stairs, wearing her exercise shorts and a man's t-shirt that Laurie had not known she'd bought, and went out to the basketball court on the driveway.

Laurie had watched her for almost an hour, in the cold dark of a December night, running and shooting, shooting and running. There was something odd to the way the girl moved, too. Her movements were jerky, strained-looking, without any of the fluidity and grace she had been working so hard at developing over the past weeks. She looked like a short girl trying to emulate the play of a tall male.

That was it. For whatever reason, Jacqui had forsaken all the new skills she had painstakingly developed since her Transformation, and was reverting back to the way Jack had approached the game. Only she lacked the height, strength and speed to make it work for her. Laurie put down what she had been doing and went outside to her daughter.

The remnants of the eye makeup Jacqui wore now (because Bronwyn had asked her to) had made dark tracks down her cheeks. Laurie knew in an instant, that it was not perspiration that was responsible for those marks. Her daughter had been crying the entire time she'd been out here punishing herself. The ball got away from Jacqui and bounced to Laurie who caught it easily. Although not the athlete her son had been, she was in good shape and she had been wearing these female bumps a lot longer than Jacqui. In one smooth movement, she took the ball up into a jumpshot and sank the twelve footer. She'd been practicing, too, during school hours. Jacqui had not realized her Mother had been there until that moment and simply stared at her, the tears still streaming down her face. Laurie retrieved the ball and zipped it at her daughter's midriff. "How about a game of one-on-one, tough-girl? 21 points, win by two?" she challenged.

The look of surprise told her that Jacqui had not expected that. Grimly, the girl nodded and tossed the ball back to her Mother, conceding the first turn.

What followed was not a game, it was warfare. Whatever was driving the girl, Laurie thought the third time she had been put on her backside, it is not the spirit of friendly competition. The fourth time she and Jacqui had tussled for the rebound of an errant shot, Laurie had gotten her lip split. Her ribs were going to be black and blue from the vicious way Jacqui used her elbows to clear a path to the basket. Laurie only scored on quick jumpers made before her opponent could close on her because of the way Jacqui swarmed her on defense. You should have fouled out within the first five minutes, luv, Laurie thought grimly as Jacqui stormed past her to sink another lay up to make the score 20-10. Laurie took the ball to the circle and started to shoot when, out of no where, Jacqui moved in to block her shot.

Although she did not have to do so following a blocked shot, Jacqui cleared to the circle, giving Laurie time to get defensive position. Jacqui simply ran over her, making the winning shot. Both women fell to the pavement, Laurie because Jacqui knocked her down, Jacqui because she tripped over her falling Mother when she came down from making her shot.

The back of Laurie's head bounced hard off the blacktop, making her see stars. Hearing the sickening thunk of her Mother's head on pavement broke through Jacqui's black mood. Quickly she moved to her Mother, seeking to initiate the healing link as she had been taught. No real damage she sensed with a relieved sigh.

"How . . . many times." Laurie gasped. "Have I told you to guard yourself when you do that?"

A sheepish grin flitted across Jacqui's smudgy features. "It might be easier to answer how many times you haven't. Are you all right?"

"What do your senses tell you, girl? And don't try to tell me you don't know because I felt just how deep you went." Laurie had been as stunned by that as by the fall. The girl had gone very deep into her Mother's mind to ensure that there had been no damage.

"You will be okay. Just take two aspirin and call me in the morning." She quipped back as Laurie gingerly lifted herself into a sitting position and scooted over to lean against the garage.

"Smartie." she grunted. "Mind telling me what that was all about? And now that you have trounced and humiliated me, do you feel any better?"

The happiness she had felt when she'd known her Mother was all right evaporated and Jacqui seemed to shrink in front of her Mother's eyes. Wearily, she dropped down to sit beside her mother against the garage. "It was just a very bad day."

"Wanna tell your old Mom about it?" Laurie put an arm about Jacqui's shoulders.

"Today was "Commitment Day", and it just all became real. I couldn't do anything right at practice today, and I may get moved even farther down the bench because of it."

"Commitment Day? What is that?" Laurie was confused.

Looking disgusted, Jacqui snorted at her Mother's ignorance. "Today is the day that the letters go out at the big schools, the ones offering basketball scholarships. It is also the first day you can formally commit to a school, accepting their offer. There would have been one of those letters in the mailbox today, special delivery, from BC. The coach there promised me one last summer after that basketball camp I went to in June. He was there as one of the counselors and he'd scouted me while his team was out here playing Stanford."

"I did not know about that. You never told me that." Laurie whispered.

"Didn't want to jinx it by wanting it too much. You can never tell how these things are really going to turn out. I might have gotten injured, or somebody from this year's team that he was counting on for next year might have lost eligibility. Then, he would have to do something else with the scholarship he wanted to offer to me." Jacqui stared up at the moon. "Heckuva jinx, though. Ineligible to accept a scholarship by reason of suddenly being the wrong gender. I can't even play decently anymore. Cripes, Mom, couldn't you have at least made me into a tall, athletic female?" The comment was made with at least an attempt at humor. It failed miserably as gallows humor usually does.

"You are the woman you would have been had you been born a woman. You actually are quite athletic, dear. Unfortunately, no spell is going to give you the benefit and confidence of having lived in a body for years. You have to learn those things yourself because you have so much to unlearn."

"I know. It is getting better. You know? I even tried binding these puppies," she cupped her breasts in her palms, "with a rib belt to see if that would help my coordination. It helped, but did nothing for the facts that my butt is all wrong and my muscles are too weak."

"Your butt is beautiful, Missy, and I can tell you from painful experience, that you are plenty strong for a woman your age."

"Right." The tone was more resigned than sardonic. "Anyway, everything became real today. Everything that's changed, that is. There won't be a basketball scholarship in my future. If Jack Donovan ever walks this earth again, he won't be the person I knew. It just all hit me at once - nothing is the same and" a sob broke through again, "and it won't and can't be the same ever again."

Laurie drew her into her arms and held her as she cried. "You are right, dear, but you would have changed, anyway, over years. If today somehow, you met yourself as you would have been four years later, you would not know that person either. Change is part of growth, and growth is always change." Damn, damn, damn, Laurie thought again. Why had she done this? WHY???

Because we needed her power and because we thought we knew what was best, her mind answered. We still need her power. Particularly if Bronwyn is correct about what she thinks is happening.

Jacqui pushed herself away from her Mother and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Mom. I needed that. One thing about being a girl is that there are times when a good cry helps. Now, I can let the tears out without feeling like less than a man."

Laurie struggled up to her feet and reached down to help her daughter up. "Well, that's a first. Something good about being a woman." Not exactly something to cheer about as good things go, but it is the first time she has said anything like that. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up and fix dinner. After that beating you just gave me, I am starved. And it is your turn to do dishes, Missy." The expected groan cheered them both, and they went into the house, arm in arm.

*********** Lancaster read the report on his desk one more time and then sat back to reflect on the information. His covert operations against the Sisterhood were proceeding but the main goal of the operation, the name and location of the High Priestess, were still unknown to him. So far, they had captured four Sisters and had put them to the question. None of them had revealed what he needed to know before they had died. Admittedly, they had not been very powerful women. Perhaps they were not important (and equated importance with power) enough to know what he longed to find out. Surely, if they had known the answers he sought, they would have told his inquisitors to stop the pain. All four had died horribly. That pleased the High Leader. Unfortunately, all four had died without telling him what he had to know. That did not please him.

Perhaps they should take the Donovan woman and her changeling whelp next. None of the women he'd taken had children. Perhaps he could torture the bitch-boy in front of the Mother. He sat there savoring the thought of it, but decided to hold that as a last resort. There was something strange about what was happening with those two and he wanted to understand that. Some intuition told him that there was a very powerful weapon against the Sisterhood in that household if only he could understand it. He had two other members of that damnable order identified on the East Coast. He would take them next, and make sure that his inquisitors took greater care to make their pain. . .more non-lethal. At least until they told him what he needed to know.

~-----~

"Hello? Laurie Donovan, here."

"Laurel? Bronwyn. Muriel and Katrina have disappeared. Neither their contact Sisters nor I can touch their minds. I think they have passed over, but no one can find their remains anywhere."

"That makes, what, three now?"

"No, four. Four junior sisters have all disappeared without a trace in the last six months. All women who had only the basic teaching in their crafts and all women whose primary talents in the craft were not martial. Katrina was an herbalist and Muriel was an oracle. I don't like it, Laurel. It smells of foul play. The police won't see a pattern because they lived in different parts of the country and no one outside the Sisterhood knows of that connection."

"No one except the Brotherhood."

"That would mean that they are actively searching for Sisters and then killing them. That is farther than they have ever gone before."

"They never perceived us as a direct threat before, dear. They always thought they could overwhelm us with their Dark Power. Eleanor and Eva changed that mistaken perception completely during the last major confrontation. We have to expect that whoever was left of the Brotherhood after that figured out what happened and how we facilitated that defeat."

"And now, they are ready to move again, and are trying to make sure we don't do it again? Then why go after novices? Why not go after the ones with the power to hurt their plans?"

"How would they know who to go after? Novices are still fairly recent in their Transformation. Perhaps they made mistakes in their behavior, or perhaps something about their every day activities pointed to their association with the Sisterhood if someone was looking and knew what to look for. I think we need to warn the other Sisters, luv."

"Yes, I agree. How are we going to protect Jacqui? She does not know enough to protect herself and she is not ready to face the reality of who we are and why we really did this to her."

"No, she's not. I am afraid that must be your and my job, Bronwyn. It was our decision to Transform her, and it must then be our responsibility to see that she comes to no harm over it."

"Well, I guess I can stand Einstein and Newton a while longer. I will get the warning out tonight, Laurel. Be careful, luv." The line clicked off.

Laurel sat quietly for a very long time. War was coming, and by her own hand, she had put her only child into the middle of it without her knowledge or her consent. But then, Mothers have been sending their sons off to wars for millennia. They just did not normally put them into skirts, first. Someday, she thought. Maybe someday she'd be able to forgive herself for that.

A Change of Direction Chapter 15

Bronwyn sat in Laurie's library/den, wearing her own skin for a change. Ostensibly, she had been called over to "comfort" her friend after Laurie had suffered a terrible "ordeal". Now, with the cause of that ordeal sound asleep in her bed, the two women sitting behind closed doors, giggling like two adolescent girls.

"You should have seen the look on his face, Laurie, right after she socked him the first one and right before the uppercut connected that put the little snot into dreamland. It was positively priceless." Bronwyn was all but chortling. "He thinks he is the greatest lover in the world and that no girl could possibly not want his attentions. Most of them are just afraid of him and his cronies. Before today, though, his nasty little games have always stopped well short of rape so his politician daddy has been able to keep him out of trouble. From his perspective, I suppose, this was no different than those other times. Only this time, Jacqui disagreed with him. Forcefully!"

"But why did he pick on Jacqui? I know her clothes are a little on the daring side, but we all agreed to continue that strategy as a tactic to get the males to pay attention to her a little more. I was hoping she would find one she liked enough to encourage just a little."

"The nice ones all back way off when she hits them with "The Look", darling. Your daughter has very quickly mastered the fine art of cutting a young man dead with a well placed glare. This one today was trying to prove his manhood by being the one who took her down. He has all the sensitivity of ancient rock, so when she hit him with her whammy, he did not even slow down. I sensed her anxiety, fear and then her anger, and came a running, but by the time I got there, he had her backed into a corner of an empty classroom. She tried to push past him but he blocked her with his body and started running his hands over her. Next thing, I know, she has dropped her books and caught him flush on the chin with a left hook and then the upper cut. He went down like a tree. Then, she just picked up her books and left, calm as you could please. His cronies parted for her like the Red Sea. It was great."

"Well, it was not so great for me when I got the call from the Principal to come pick up my daughter who was being suspended for fighting." Laurie said darkly. "I am glad you met me when I arrived so I was prepared with the basics of what really happened."

Bronwyn sipped her brandy, her eyes still laughing. "You impressed the hell out your daughter in there, by the way. She was all but bubbling about how great you were when we walked way home, afterwards. So what really happened? If I believe Jacqui, you all but cut the man's heart out and fed it to him."

"I was tempted, but it was nothing quite so dramatic. He was a conceited ass and all I did was trip him over his own tongue."

Laurie's Story

The secretary kept me waiting for ten minutes before she even called the Principal. "He's out in the halls for change of class, you know." Except he wasn't. He was in his office with Jacqui, trying to get her to confess to causing the whole mess. I know because I eavesdropped on Jacqui's public mind while I was waiting.

Finally, I was ushered into the inner sanctum and this prig is seated behind his desk trying to look wise and scholarly, while Jacqui was sitting in this straight backed chair wringing her hands.

"Mrs. Donovan." he said it in a very condescending tone. "I am afraid your daughter has been suspended for fighting and will not be welcome back here for four days." His smile put my teeth on edge. "I am sure you can help her correct the error of her ways in that time. We cannot permit our young women to behave in such an unattractive manner, I am sure you will understand."

Since I knew the whole story from meeting with Bonnie, I decided to play along with the fatuous fool. "Oh, of course. I do hope the other young lady is not hurt?"

He coughed and said something I pretended not to hear, making him repeat it again, louder this time. "It, uh, wasn't a girl. It was a boy."

I raised my brows in concern. "Jacqui, are you hurt? Did he hit you, baby?"

Jacqui, her face twisted in disgust. "He never laid a fist on me, Mum. He cornered me and was feeling me up under my skirt."

"Under your skirt?" I turned back to the principal. "I assume he is being suspended, too?"

"That is not germane to this discussion, Mrs. Donovan. Discipline in the school is my concern, not yours."

I stood up and leaned over his desk. "Now you listen to me, you sanctimonious old fool. You weren't even going to suspend that boy, were you? That little punk molested my daughter in your school. I have been told that by two eye witnesses while I walked to your office."

The idiot interrupted me. "I have witnesses that say her attack was unprovoked at the time and that her counter- accusations are untrue. Mrs. Donovan, if your daughter receives, shall we say, untoward remarks, it is to be expected when she dresses," he sniffed and looked down his nose at Jacqui, "in a rather obvious manner."

I looked at her outfit. The skirt was a bit short, and the sweater she was wearing fit her very nicely, but there was nothing out of the ordinary for a pretty teenager. I saw red. "Why you prudish hypocrite, her outfit is attractive, but it is also completely in line with the dress code you sent home on the first day of school. Now you listen and listen well. My daughter has an unblemished record at this school, and I also believe, is very well thought of by all her teachers. If my daughter is suspended, or if I leave here without a formal apology from you, I will start making phone calls. First to my lawyer, then to the media."

"My word is final on this subject, Mrs. Donovan, and you are being offensive. Please leave and take your daughter with you." He stood to open his door. "If you don't leave, I will have the security officer escort you off the grounds."

I stood to leave. "Oh, I will leave. Enjoy dealing with you phone calls. Did I mention, that one of the eye witnesses was your vice principal?"

He stopped me before I could get out the door with Jacqui. As you know, Thea, the vice principal, is one of us, and although she did not actually see it happening, she did "see" it. She tried to get in to talk to that fool and tell him so, but he was too busy trying to protect that kid because of his father's political connections.

"Anyway," Laurie continued, "the rest was sort of anticlimactic. Thea came into the office with write-up on the incident and a list of the other witnesses. Jacqui was cleared, the kid who did it is facing expulsion, and the ones who lied to the principal are all being suspended."

"It was quite the big splash on the News at Six on TV." Bronwyn commented. "Guess you decided to call it in, anyway?"

Laurie laughed. The principal had been filmed running to his car, trying to escape the reporters who had gotten wind of the "sexual harassment coverup plot" at the local high school. The political angle had made it particularly juicy once the word had gotten out to the reporters just whose kid had been the harasser. Neither the principal nor the politician daddy were likely to get much public support in the near future. "But I didn't. Turns out it was the principal's secretary. Once she found out what had really happened, she'd called her sister who happens to work at the city desk of the daily paper. It just took off from there."

"Well, at least it all worked out, and you made a lot of points with Jacqui, today. Besides, as you are well aware, her growth in the power follows the growth of her own self awareness as a woman. Today she became very aware of two critical factors. One is the potential vulnerability of being female, and two, that you would come running to her rescue and not doubt her story for even a minute"

"As if I would." she snorted. "But I lost ground, too. She has demanded that we going shopping for jeans. She told me she has spent almost six months in skirts and she wants pants that aren't so tight she has to lay down on the floor to put on. She was doing so well in the skirts, and now this."

"Don't see how you can say no to her, Laurel." Bronwyn said solemnly. "For the first time since the Transformation, she is dealing with the inherent vulnerability of her new condition. She won't catch the next guy who tries to play cute games with her by surprise, and she knows it. She is a virgin, and rape is a scary thing to contemplate. Let her have her pants, Laurel. The skirts have served a purpose, and I don't think she is going to give them up entirely. Bonnie won't let her." she added with a sly smile.

Laurel sipped and closed her eyes tiredly. "Wasn't going to say no. Wouldn't do any good anyway because she swore she'd buy her own if that is what it took. Told me there'd be hell to pay if I got rid of them as I had Jack's things that first night." She paused, letting the brandy warm her insides a bit. "We will go shopping for them tomorrow since she is not going to school again until Thea tells me that little animal has been expelled. We will shop tomorrow and she can have all the trousers she needs to feel safe."

"You know, Laurel, it is a good thing that she doesn't know the Transformation Spell, yet. When I walked her to her class after she clobbered that fool? There, in her public mind, was the picture of him as a Dolly Parton clone with the morals and needs of a rabbit in mating season." She grinned. "It was all I could do to keep myself from making her little wish come true."

Laurie smiled at that. "I understand how she feels, but it still means that she sees the whole thing as punishment." Her voice was dejected.

"Boys don't often get raped, luv, and she thought she was going to be. We will watch out for her. And that is another thing. Boys. We need a couple."

The change of topic had Laurie's head spinning. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself, earlier. You have been dressing her to get her involved with boys. It has not worked. She still cuts them dead with just a look and there are some rumors starting to fly about the halls about me and Jacqui being lesbians. Regardless of how true that is or not, it is not the reputation we want her living with just now."

"Well, my little ploy worked so well she is demanding loose fitting pants as protection. What are you going to do?"

"I have a couple of nice young lads all picked out for us. In fact, I have been discreetly influencing them for about two weeks now. They are growing quite infatuated with the blond bombshell and the gypsy goddess upstairs. They are going to ask us out to next week's dance and I am going to tell Jacqui that we need to accept. Camouflage, you see." She grinned mischievously. "I will even get her to be "nice" to the boy, maybe a good night kiss or two on the drive home. If it works out, and there is no reason why it should not, they can become our "steadies". I will keep them from getting too amorous by imposing some strong inhibitions on them and by giving them some very interesting dreams to keep their manly urges at a tolerable level. I might even talk Miss Priss upstairs into giving hers a friendly hand job in the back seat one night. Do her good to get her hands on a cock, again. It will also further increase her self awareness. She is repressing her sexuality and that will inhibit her growth to her full potential."

Laurie listened in stunned disbelief. "You stinker." she said admiringly. "You know? It ought to work. I don't know about the sex, but she will go along with almost anything to keep on Bonnie's good side and to stay in her bed." Then maternal instinct flared and Laurie pinned Bronwyn with a stern glare. "You are sure these are nice boys? If they hurt her, I will turn them into harem slaves."

The thought of the usually gentle and forgiving Laurel as the vengeful wicked witch made Bronwyn chuckle, but she hastened to reassure her friend. "Picked 'em myself, luv. Popular enough for our purposes with the "in" crowd, but still independent of them. Smart, polite, and good natured. Just all around nice guys - the kind you bring home to Mother."

"Her first kiss, huh?" Laurie took a fortifying sip of brandy as she recalled her own first time with a boy's mouth and tongue on her own. "That ought to make it in that diary-that- is-not-a-diary of hers. Hope it's a good one!" She raised her snifter in a toast. "To young love."

Chuckling, Bronwyn answered the toast with her own drink in the air. "Here, here."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

5 months 3 days A. T.

Well, the times, they are a' changing. I have a guy try to force himself on me (I don't think it would have been rape - that time), get in a fight, almost get suspended and watch my mom turn into a virago in front of my eyes. At least I have gotten some comfortable pants out of the deal. And Mom isn't laying out my outfits for me anymore, either.

That is good and bad. The good is that I don't feel quite so. . . all right, I will say the word (go hide in your cave, Jack) sexy when I pick out my clothes. I don't know why, but Mom really seemed to have a thing for showing off my legs and figure. I have not said anything about it to her before this, because she said it was a key part of the program to get back to being male. Now, I wish I had questioned her more.

Anyway, on the other hand, now I have to make sure things match. Grown up girl clothes do not come with little animals on them that you can match up to ensure that the outfit works together like little kid clothes do. She let me go a couple of days, but yesterday was more than she could stand and she let me know that the two colors I had on clashed.

Today, I wore a skirt to school for the first time since the fight. Bonnie thought I looked great and gave me a big hug (she really likes me in short skirts - which is okay. I like the way she looks in them, too). Actually, wearing the skirt made me feel pretty good, too. Mostly because I hate the idea that something that jack ass did to me was making me change anything!

Mom was proud of me, too. That helped, because in all honesty, getting out the door in that outfit (I was wearing the exact same one because it was the exact same one) was not very easy. When she told me she was proud of me, it gave me the little nudge I needed to keep from running up to my room and coming back down in jeans.

The other big change is one I am not so positive about. Jack, go hide again. I am going to have a boy friend, or at least, I am going out with a boy. These two guys asked us to the dance tomorrow while we were sitting together at lunch. I was going to say no immediately, but Bonnie kicked me under the table and accepted for both of us. After they left, I started to give her hell and she shut me up quickly enough. Seems that we are too much of an item around school, and some folks have figured out that we spend a lot of time together out of school. Bonnie says her dad will freak if he finds out she likes girls and so she wants the cover of a boy friend. Says I need one, too, and those two are really nice guys from everything she has heard. I wouldn't know. I don't much listen to the kind of girl talk where guys are the main topic.

Now the kicker. She says I have to encourage him, gently. I have to be nice to him. What does that mean?? Lord, not that I don't remember what Jack would have thought of as a girl being "nice" to him. (not that any girl ever did anything like that with or for me back then.) When I asked her to be more explicit, she said a kiss or two would be fine - for now.

For NOW?!??!?? Oh, hell. I don't want to be that nice to a boy.

End Journal Entry.

**************** Laurie and Jacqui were relaxing in the living room a few days after the incident at school. Jacqui was sitting cross legged on the floor, peering at a magazine article discussing self image. She was dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt. She looked so much like any other, ordinary teenaged woman-child that Laurie felt tears pricking at her eyes.

"Mom?" The questioning tone keyed Laurie that something was bothering the girl and she looked away from the newspaper she was reading. Seeing she had her Mother's attention, Jacqui continued. "What does "acclimate" really mean?"

Caught off guard by the question, Laurie considered for a moment. "Since you can use a dictionary, I assume you aren't asking for generalities, are you, dear?"

Jacqui shook her head slowly. "No, I mean as in the "acclimating to being a woman" thing you said I had to do to master the Transformation thing. Frankly, I don't know what that means, and that is starting to scare me. I don't think I am ever going to be able to do that." A tear trickled down her daughter's cheek.

A little frightened herself, Laurie patted the arm of the overstuffed chair she was seated in and beckoned the girl over. She was more than a little surprised when Jacqui all but scrambled over to her and sat down there, leaning down into her Mother's shoulder. "Okay, now give. What is bothering you. Specifically." She tried to keep her tone no-nonsense in the hope that would help.

"Everything!" Jacqui sobbed out.

Undone by having her daughter crying on her shoulder, Laurie just held the girl and let her cry. When the tears started to ebb, she said with a tart touch. "Well, "everything" certainly narrows it down."

Jacqui knuckled her eyes and gave a watery giggle. "Real precise of me, wasn't it?" She took a deep breath and snuggled tighter into the chair with her Mother. "Mom, I don't think I will ever be as womanly as you are. It's like the clothes thing. I know you told me that learning to wear them and to deal with them was part of the learning process. And I have tried, Mom, but after . . after. . " her voice faltered, before coming out in a rush. "After last week at school, I am more uncomfortable with them than I was in September. And I probably ruined everything by making you get me pants, but I don't think I can wear that other stuff all the time again just now." The tears were starting to flow again.

"Easy, luv. Now, let's take it from the top. The clothes were something I did to try and force you to acknowledge you were a girl. It has been partly a success, and partly a problem. However, you did your best, and for the most part, your best was pretty good. I don't think wearing slacks is going to set you back if that is what you are worried about. I have told you often enough how jealous I am of how fast you have learned the healing arts. Those are a woman's craft, dear. That should tell you how well you are doing and how far you have come." Not to mention that incredibly strong sixth sense you have developed, Laurie whispered to herself.

"You mean it? I can wear the pants without losing ground?"

"Wel.l.l.l.l..l," Laurie drew the word out teasingly. "I would not trade in your silky undies for jockey's, and it would be nice if you could dress up occasionally like you did the other day, but I think wearing jeans to school now and again won't hurt your progress, love." Then she grinned. "In fact, I know it won't."

Jacqui hugged Laurie tightly, then leaned back to look at her Mother. "I was worried. This "acclimating" thing is so ill- defined. I mean, Mom, I still look at girls instead of guys. Girls turn me on, and guys challenge my competitive instincts. I want to be better than they are at school and stuff because they think I shouldn't be. I know you said you can't tell me what the lessons all entail, but can't you help me understand this? You are a really feminine woman. If you are the example of what I have to become, well, I just don't know if I can ever do that."

Laurie nodded her understanding. She'd never had this conversation with her own Mother because by this point in her own Transition, she'd known she was never going back to being Larry. "That is a very hard question, Jacqui, because the answer is different for each one of us. My answer, or the way I live my life, won't be your answer or the way you will live your life. As the line goes, dear, you must "to thine own self be true". I think, that eventually, you will find that there will come a time when you don't fight yourself so hard. When the different perceptions and instincts implicit in being a woman will no longer seem "different" to you. Basically, you will be "acclimated" when you are happy with yourself as you are then, regardless of how that person is perceived by others."

A frown furrowed the girl's smooth forehead. "But doesn't that mean that to be able to return to being Jack, I have to reach the point that I don't want to be him, anymore?" There was a touch of accusation in her voice.

Laurie smiled gently to defuse her anger. "No, love, that is not what it means. It is not an "either-or" situation. Just because you are happy living one way does not mean you cannot also be happy in another, drastically different situation, too. Jacqui, the learning you have yet to undertake is not intended to deprive you of your old self, or to brainwash you so that you no longer want that for yourself. It is intended to help you find and come to like, the real woman that you, Jacqui Donovan, could have been." Should have been, came the silent whisper. "And first, you have to discover her for yourself. You had seventeen years to discover Jack, luv. I don't think you have done such a bad job with only five months to find Jacqui."

Uncertainty still clouded her eyes. "You promise, none of this will take away my real choice to be Jack again? There is nothing that this discovery thing does that will force me to change how I feel about that?"

Laurie hugged the girl again reassuringly. "Only you and your own free will could make that change, dear. I would never impose such a thing on you. I promise. And it won't be so very hard. I quite like the person you are becoming, dear. I think you will, too, in the fullness of time."

Jacqui started to say something in response, then closed her mouth. She hugged her Mother again, then slipped off the chair and went to her room.

***************** Lancaster read the message with increasing anger. The bitches had figured out something was up and had taken action against his operations. Effective action, too, since his two targets in Atlanta and in Charlotte had suddenly become much more surveillance conscious. He could not take them now without coming to the attention of the local officials.

One thing about power, though, when you used it is often much more important than how much you used. He had time. He would continue to watch the elements of the Sisterhood he had identified and bide his time. If nothing else came up, the cessation of his operations against them might give them a false sense of security. Additionally, there was still something he was missing in that situation in California. What was their name, again? Oh, yes, the Donovan women. Well, he'd would let things work for a while. The longer he waited, the stronger his Brotherhood became. Time was on his side.

~-------~

A Change of Pace Chapter 16

Laurie surveyed the utter chaos in Jacqui's room with a benignly maternal mein. The room looked like a tornado had struck her daughter's closet and armoire and had deposited every single garment the girl owned in the middle of the room. Bright colors splashed every square inch of horizontal space in the room and hung from most of the handy vertical pieces of furniture. "Has this room been ransacked by some arch thief searching for the Maltese Falcon, or perhaps a super spy searching for the classified designs of your new secret weapon?" she asked, as much to let Jacqui know she was there as to poke fun at the girl.

"Moo-oom!" Jacqui responded, managing to add a few syllables to the name in her distress. "What am I going to wear, tonight?"

"Well, you are going dancing, luv. I would wear something that was easy to move in. This," and she picked up clingy, mini-skirted knit dress, "would let you kick up your heels and look pretty at the same time."

The look on her daughter's face held more than a little bit of fear in it. "But, but, .. it's so . . . . short."

Mine field, Laurie realized. Maybe Bronwyn had pushed this too fast and too soon after the incident at school. Sighing, she moved through the rainbow of colors. "I guess you could wear these jeans. I understand that many girls do wear jeans at dances these days."

The look of abject despair on Jacqui's face pulled at her mother's heart. "Bonnie said I couldn't. She is wearing a dress, so I have to wear one, too." And I still have not bought you anything that is middle of the road, have I, Jacqui, her mother silently sympathized. I wanted you to constantly aware of you womanliness, and your clothes tended to reinforce that. The only things you have that aren't intended to put you in the spotlight are the jeans you demanded last week. Looks like I put you in a pickle.

"Sit down, Jacqui." She said as she cleared a spot on the bed for them both. Dejectedly, Jacqui plopped down beside her Mother. "Now listen to me. Bonnie is your friend, and I am your Mother. You don't have to wear a dress if it really bothers you. First dates are tough for all girls, but especially for folks like you and me who did not grow up thinking of boys that way."

"I don't want to disappoint Bonnie, but I don't have anything I feel . . . " she searched for a word, "comfortable wearing." Laurie heard the word she meant to say, that she had nothing she felt safe wearing.

"I don't have a chastity belt for you, darling. . . "

"MOM!!!" The girl flushed bright red at the thought and at the fact that her Mother had read her so clearly.

Laurie put a finger to Jacqui's lips to shush her. "You did not let me finish, love, but I do have something that might help. I will go get it while you find the longest, fullest dress or skirt you have." She stood and left before the girl could ask her what she was up to. In her own bedroom, Laurie found what she was looking for and hurried back to the room. Darn Bronwyn, anyway, she should not have pushed the girl so hard. And darn herself, too, for not foreseeing the need for her daughter to look nice without looking too sexy. They should have been ecstatic just to get her out on a date with a male, but no, Bronwyn had to go for the home run and make her feel femininely vulnerable, again.

She returned to the room to find Jacqui standing in front of the mirror holding the same outfit Laurie had first suggested. That was the longest skirt she owned?? No wonder she was in a panic, Laurie thought to herself. "Here, put this on. It will be a bit small on you because it is mine and you are taller and more rounded than your dear old Mom." The garment she held out was white and looked like running shorts.

Carefully, Jacqui took the proffered item and looked at it. "What is it?" she finally asked in confusion.

"Something you don't really need, luv, so I did not buy you any. It is a long line panty girdle. I use it when I am stalking to keep gravity from winning, but you can use it as a pretend chastity belt. They are bloody hard to get on and off, so even if you find out you like boys, you won't find your panties down around your ankles before you are really ready to take them down yourself." At that, Jacqui's face darkened and Laurie raised a hand to forestall the deluge she saw coming. "I know you don't intend to have that happen, dear, but I have to be honest with you. One aspect of the Transformation is that you are a very excitable young woman. I wanted you to enjoy your sexuality, so I .... well, I gave you a little help."

"Gee, thanks a whole lot, Mother." was Jacqui's disgusted response.

"You're welcome, I'm sure," was Laurie's cheeky response. "Now, toddle off to the bathroom and do your business. You are not going to want to be fighting your way into and out of this thing all night." She smacked her daughter's panty-ed bottom to hurry her along.

She was ready just in time. She wore pantyhose since Laurie did not have any regular stockings that were short enough for the panty girdle, and her one inch heeled pumps. The knit dress looked great on her, showing off her high breasts and narrow waist perfectly. That boy was going to be in terminal lust before the night was over. Laurie had helped her with making up her face, using a somewhat heavier hand than Bronwyn had taught the girl. It was a dance, after all, and it would be dark in the gym so she'd need the extra color and definition. At least, that is what she told Jacqui.

She'd approved of the young man, too. Marcus Arnold was tall, maybe six feet one or so, and he dressed nicely in slacks, loafers and a knit pullover. His manners were excellent and he made real points with Laurie when he complimented her daughter by comparing her with her mom. A quick, magical reading of the boy showed that there was no malice in him; he was simply a nice young man looking forward to a good time with a very pretty girl. Bronwyn had chosen well. Teary-eyed, Laurie had waved to them as they drove off. She'd wait up for them, but she would only show herself if she sensed any upset or panic in her daughter. She'd run the boy off then, but if everything went well, tomorrow was soon enough to try and share those little "first date" mother/daughter confidences.

The car Marcus was driving had bucket seats, a center console and no back-seat. At least, Jacqui thought, I won't have to worry about getting caught in that old cliche. Marcus tried to make conversation with her on the trip, but she was so nervous, she answered in monosyllables, if at all.

At school, he rushed around the car to open her door and hand her out. She smiled in appreciation for the gallant move, but not for the reason he probably assumed. It was darned hard to move in the girdle. There was no way she would have gracefully managed getting out of the low slung car without his help. As it was, she only barely missed flashing him before she remembered to spin both her legs out the door and to keep them together while she stood. Again, she regretted the promise she'd made Bonnie that she'd wear a dress or skirt tonight.

He offered her his arm, and it took her a moment to realize that she was supposed to put her arm in his for the walk to the door. As she walked beside him, she wondered at the size difference between the two of them. Jack had almost always been taller than his friends. Being so close to someone so much taller than her was a very new experience. Since her Transformation, she mostly spent time with her Mom and with Bonnie, and they were shorter than she was. Even on the team, only a few of the girls were really taller than she was and she did not get all that close to them.

They entered the darkened, noisy gym. The music was loud and the kids were louder. Marcus said something to her and she could not hear him. He yelled in her ear "Do.... You.... Want.....to.....Dance?"

Hell no, she thought frantically. Swallowing hard, she looked at the dance floor and realized it was the fast kind of dance kids like, with very little body contact. Closing her eyes, she nodded her agreement. He gently took her hand and led her out into the milling throng of dancing kids.

Dancing was a little harder than she remembered from her boy- days. First, she was in heels, and no matter how low they were, they were heels. She made sure she kept her balance first and the beat second. Besides, the rapid, athletic style of movement she had preferred on the dance floor as Jack did not suit her current stature, build or dress. Surreptitiously, she glanced around at the nearby dancers until she found another girl dressed in heels and a skirt dancing nearby. Using the girl as her model, Jacqui began learning how to dance like the girl she was instead of the boy she had been.

We forgot this part of it, Mom, she thought ruefully, and then another, scarier thought hit. Whatever was she going to do when they started slow dancing? What little of that she'd done, she'd done as a guy and guys led. Should she claim not to know how to dance that way?

The turn of her mind kept her from really enjoying the dancing. When that set ended, she asked (yelled) if they could take a short respite so she could go to the lady's room. On the way there, she was intercepted by Bonnie who went in with her.

"How's it going, girl? Isn't he a great guy?" Bonnie bubbled, trying to figure out how it was really going.

"It's okay, I guess. I don't know how to dance, but I am faking it on the hip-hop stuff. Don't know what I am gonna do when we slow dance."

Bonnie grinned easily, trying to relax the girl. "That's easy. Just hold on to him, go where he pulls you, and try to keep your feet out from under his."

Remembering Jack's own attempts at crushing a girl's toe, Jacqui laughed nervously. Maybe that was all it would take. "Well, I will try, but if he hits the same toe three times, I will accidently nail his little toe with my heel." He remembered a girl doing that to Jack, too.

Bonnie came out of the stall and finished refreshing her makeup. "Aren't you going to use the convenience? It is going to be a long night."

Jacqui simply shook her head and rubbed her belly with one hand as she moved to the door. "Can't. All locked in." and she sailed out into the hall where Marcus awaited her anxiously.

"Locked in?" Bronwyn asked herself and then thought, Laurie, what have you done? Her own date, Jeremy was waiting for her. She'd have to talk to her young charge again later to find out what the story was.

In the end, it was a case of the "best laid plans of mice, men and witches oft times go a leigh." Bronwyn never caught up with Jacqui again that night, having to use some mighty quick foot work to keep her own toes intact. She saw Jacqui leaving on Marcus' arm as the teachers were trying to herd the kids out so that they could go home, too. At least she had been smiling up at the boy as they walked to the car. Now, if only the last "good night" went well.

Once she had talked with Bonnie, Jacqui had stopped fretting so much. The girdle, for all the discomfort it caused her, would be ample protection against any improprieties she did not welcome. The music was great and she'd always loved dancing. Even the slow dancing was okay, and toward the end of that, she had decided that being held close against a big strong warm body had possibilities she had not considered before. And Marcus had not stepped on her toes even once. He was a much better dancer than she was or than Jack had ever been.

The evening had flown by. When the two of them weren't dancing, they would step out into the hall for a refreshment or a chat. She discovered that Marcus was an English Major, which explained why she did not see him in her science oriented classes, and that he was going to Washington State for college. He wrestled instead of playing basketball, and he liked tennis for recreation. It was also very obvious that he liked Jacqui, too, and surprisingly, that did not bother her as she had thought it would. Eventually, the dance had come to a close and with that had ended her short idyll. Now, driving back toward the sanctuary of her house, she started worrying about the kiss Bonnie had insisted she bestow on her gallant escort.

Do girls really kiss on the first date, she thought in a mild panic. Bonnie had insisted that they do. "It's only four lips touching, idiot. You and I do it all the time. You seem to like it well enough." Had been Bonnie's scathing comment when Jacqui had initially bridled at the idea of kissing Marcus. Yeah, Bonnie, but you are a girl and he's a boy, and part of me still thinks like a boy.

In the end, she convinced herself that she would "tough it out". As he had at the school, Marcus had nearly fallen in his dash to open her car door when they pulled up next to the darkened house. There were no interior lights on, but Mum had left the porch light on for her. Jacqui managed a more dignified exit from the car this time and found herself standing very close to Marcus once she gained her feet. His hand still held hers as she looked up into his face. She had no where to go, just then, for the car blocked her retreat and his body blocked her advance. This, then, was her moment of truth.

By now, Jacqui had a reading on Marcus and knew him to be a decent and gentle guy. All she had to do was let him know that he was too damned close and pushing too hard for a first date and he'd back off in an instant. But she'd promised Bonnie. . .

Shyly, she rose up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Marcus," her whisper was raspy with her nerves. "I had a wonderful time."

Taking her kiss as an invitation, Marcus clumsily wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He brought his lips down on to hers and made a very sloppy attempt at a more intimate, mature kiss. His tongue swept her lips. Involuntarily, her arms came up around his neck and she returned the kiss, dueling with her own tongue.

A dog barking next door, startled the two deeply involved teens and they broke apart. Staring at one another, they simply stood there unmoving for several seconds. Finally, Jacqui broke the silence. "I should be going in."

"I will walk you to the door." Marcus answered, his tone brooking no argument. She gave him her arm and allowed herself to be led to the door.

She took her key from her purse and then unlocked and opened the door. She started to go in, when she stopped suddenly and moved up to kiss him once more, this time on the mouth. "Good night, Marcus. Thank you again."

Shocked at herself, Jacqui quickly closed the door and all but ran up the stairs to her room, not seeing the smiling Laurie standing in the deep shadows of the darkened front room. Well, Bronwyn, she thought happily, looks like you won your gamble again. Very pleased with the night's work, Laurie settled herself on the couch to wait for her daughter to fall asleep. No sense letting her know that Mom was watching out for her when she was being so brave.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

5 months 4 almost 5 days A. T.

I have survived my first date with a boy with my virtue and sanity intact. Actually, it was a really good time once I stopped worrying about being a girl and just had some fun. If I was going to write like a girl, I would say that Marcus was sweet. Well, he was, Jack. I did not even need that blasted foundation garment from hell Mom found for me. Having it was nice, though. I felt much safer in it when I left for the dance. I am not sure I would have been able to get out of the house without it, unless I wore pants.

I, Jacqui Donovan, do hereby swear that I will not let Bonnie Davis talk me into any more promises that scare the hell out of me. Wearing skirts to dances. Going out with boys. Kissing boys. God, what will the girl come up with next.

Actually, the kissing wasn't so bad. He was really shy about it. I think if I had said "boo" to him, he'd have fainted. The strange thing is that I think I was really the one in control. Or I was until my brain shutdown. Good thing that dog barked or I might have been trying to figure out how to get out of that panty girdle.

Now there is a very honest and very scary bit of truth. Mom told me that Transformation Spell she cast has given me, now how shall I put this delicately, an enhanced enthusiasm for sexual adventure. More bluntly put, I am going to have to be very careful in the future because as I found out tonight, I have tendencies toward being easy.

Being smaller than a guy has some distinctly interesting aspects to it. For one thing, I felt. . . .protected(?) by him when he held me tonight. New feeling for me because I have never felt anything like it before. Not a bad feeling, I think, just different.

Well, if he asks me out again, I am going to go. I am going to have to think about that damned panty girdle, though. Might be smart to wear it a few more times, particularly if he kisses like that all the time. I am going to have to find out if that was beginner's luck, I think.

He has nice eyes. I like him.

Damn, Bonnie is going to crow about this. She was so sure she was right. The fact that she was makes me want to spit. Can't she be wrong about this girl stuff - just once so I will know she is human?

End Journal entry.

**************** Bronwyn sipped the tea that Laurie had prepared. "So the "locked in" was a girdle? And she wore it because she did not feel safe in that dress? Lord, Laurel, she did not have to wear something that provocative just because I made her promise not to wear trousers. Couldn't you talk her into something in between?"

"She... uh, she doesn't have anything "in-between", Bron. That was chosen as the longest skirt she has. I must admit that I have gone overboard making her dress like a very girly girl when I first outfitted her."

"No lie!" was Bronwyn's emphatic response. "I never knew. She needs other clothes, then, Laurel. She needs women's clothes that she doesn't feel exposed in and that are still obviously feminine."

"I know. I asked her to come shopping with me this weekend. I let her believe it was for me, so we won't be going to the youth oriented boutiques I dragged her to last summer. She'll relax and we will find things she likes wearing, hopefully." Laurie sipped her own tea. "She liked the kiss, by the way. She would not come right out and say it, but by the scarlet blush that covered her when I asked about it, she must have liked it a lot."

"Good. That bit of self knowledge should help her. How is her training coming?"

"Great. She just soaks it up, and she has a very gentle touch with healing." A sly grin stole across her features. "My periods have not been this easy since my own Mother passed over. She is also very strong. And she anticipates knowledge. I mean, she is very intuitive. Sometimes I think she already knows what it is I intend to teach her."

"What about other magic? Illusions and such?"

"I haven't started those yet. As you know, those skills are not the strengths of my craft and I have been practicing them first. It is too bad she can't take that teaching from you. I think you would do much better with her than I will in those areas." "Two problems with that. One, the Sisterhood tradition is that a Mother teaches her Transformed child. I could get around that one, but the other one is a harder nut. If she is intuitive as you say she is, I don't want her around Bronwyn Llewellyn enough to see something that reminds her of Bonnie Davis. Not yet, anyway. That is reason I have not been around here as often lately."

"True. I'll start in a couple of months. There is time. What is on your agenda for her?"

"More boy-stuff. She needs to keep exploring that aspect of her personality and it is best that I help keep young Marcus on a fairly tight leash for her. I may have done my work too well with him, because I think he is falling for our Jacqui and falling hard."

"Is that a problem? It was nice when the boy who gave me Jack liked me a lot."

"Not a problem, but your impregnator was on his way to the Middle East for that Beirut thing and you were able to move away and disappear after you "caught". Marcus is going to want to marry the girl. It is the way his mind works. He is the honorable, responsible sort. We'll just have to move the two of you somewhere else if he does become the one who gives her the baby she will need to master the Transformation Spell."

Laurie's shoulders slumped a bit at that news. "I have liked living here, but if that is what is best for Jacqui, then we will move." It was a long standing tradition with the Sisterhood that the fathers of their children never knew of their existence. Men tended to take a dim view of their sons suddenly being Transformed into daughters. In most cases, the Sisters arranged "accidents" so that they could "die". Then, they would alter their appearance and move elsewhere to raise their child and to continue the Sisterhood.

"Well, no need to do anything about it right away. He is good for her right now, and she evidently likes him. She may find someone else while he is away at college. We will wait and see for now."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

6 months, 2 days A. T.

This intuition stuff is really starting to get to me, again. When is something intuition and when is it paranoia??

Case in point. Mom's friend Bronwyn. When I first met her, she said she wanted to be my friend, but lately it seems that whenever I get home and she is here, she immediately has to leave. Like I said... Paranoia, probably.

But it just keeps . . . . tickling at me. And I have this deja vu kind of sensation. It sounds like one of Jack's tired old lines, but I feel like asking her if we've met before. We probably have, now that I think about it. She is an old college chum of Mom's which means I might have met her years ago, when I was really little.

It is just that this intuition thing is so bloody nebulous. It's there and it's not. You feel something, and then when you look for whatever it is, there is nothing to look at. I feel like I am searching for the monster under the bed, sometimes.

On a similar issue, I have been playing chess with Marcus. He is a fairly good player for an English major. No match for Jack, but more than good enough to give Jacqui a run for her money. I don't think I am going to repeat as school district chess champion. I can beat Marcus, usually, and I always clobber him when we play a speed game.

I have spent a bit of time analyzing my game lately. Fortunately, my memory is still nearly eidetic, so I have reconstructed all my games. My openings and my end games are just fine. In fact, my end game, if anything, is better. I seem to have this killer instinct that I did not have before. Maybe the female is deadlier than the male.

It is the middle game where I get into trouble. If I can't clear the board quickly and force a confrontation; if my opponent forces a strategic battle for position with an eye towards winning by a pawn or some such, I get beaten pretty much every time. Holding more than three or four moves in my head now is really difficult. I seem to find too many other things to attract my attention. The other problem is that I am slow in that situation. I would have defaulted one game on time limit if my opponent at the chess club had not put me out of my misery on his previous move.

No, the only reason I will be in the tournament in March is because I am defending champion. The players at school now know better than to get into a speed match with me and the ones with a mature middle game can cripple my end game thrusts.

Oh well.

End Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 17

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

6 months, 18 days A. T.

Well, I guess I am a real witch now. I have used magic for real on someone other than Mum. One of my teammates twisted wrong on her leg in practice today, and one of the bones in her calf just splintered. What is they call it when the bone goes through the skin? I think it is called a compound fracture.

Anyway, Tamika was just screaming and writhing. The coach could not keep her still, and the blood was just everywhere. We found out later she had cut a blood vessel.

I linked with her. Yes, Jack, I did remember to shield. I was able to ease her pain enough that she quit screaming, and I was able to nearly stop the bleeding. Besides the healing arts, once I had her stilled, I used direct pressure on the bleeding, too. That is what the paramedics think saved her. Maybe it did, too, but I could not have done that if she'd still been flopping on the floor like landed fish.

She's going to be all right. Only problem is that I have not yet been able to deal with the pain myself. Broken legs hurt like a bitch, at least that one did. I don't know how I made it to the car after practice.

Thank Goodness Bonnie was there and offered to drive. Just the thought of pressing on the accelerator makes my leg hurt.

I like Tamika. I am glad I could help her.

Odd how things work out. If I had not been Transformed, Tamika might well have died. And speaking of Transforming, I have not heard much on that subject from Mom, lately. I guess I proved today that I have learned my healing lessons pretty well. I just wish I had a better idea what the rest of the "lessons" are before I can learn the Transformation Spell.

I am still convinced it has something to do with sex, and more to the point, sex with a guy.

Why do I think that closing my eyes and thinking of England won't get the job done, either. Maybe because I know my Mother a bit better than Jack ever did.

End Journal Entry.

******************** "She'll be fine, Bronwyn. It is just post healing stress. A good night's sleep and the bulk of the trauma she inflicted on herself will be dealt with."

Bronwyn, still in Bonnie's skin, took a shaky sip of her tea. "Goddess, I was so scared. I felt her link, and immediately knew she was going after a potentially fatal injury. I tried to inhibit her, but she was too strong. Thank the light that she shielded herself."

"You weren't able to break her linkage?" That bit of news surprised Laurie.

Bronwyn shook her head emphatically. "No way. Might have been able to stop her from making the initial link, but once she had it, there was nothing I could do. She is definitely her Mother's daughter so far as her healing talents go." She took another sip of tea, her hands steadier now. "I am very glad we had you start her training when we did."

"So am I, dear friend, so am I." said Laurie as she considered the danger of that day's linkage. "On another subject. Have you had a chance to peak at her diary lately?"

"No, not for a couple of weeks." Bronwyn's eyes unfocused, momentarily. "Nothing much in the past few days, other than she is happy she could help her friend. Maybe that will be something we can build on - that Jacqui could help, but Jack would not have been able to." Bronwyn decided to keep Jacqui's speculations on the Transformation Spell to herself. Let Laurie be proud of her pupil without feeling sad about the probable loss of her daughter.

Hope niggled at Laurie, then she tamped it back down. It was Jacqui's decision, now, and only her decision. She had promised that and she would keep her promise.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

7 months, 8 days A. T.

Okay, so how do I write this one down? The facts, ma'am, just give us the facts.

Marcus and I went out tonight to a little party given by one of my teammates. End of the season sort of thing - girls bring a snack to share and the date of their choice. Well, I got this wild idea to pick up Marcus instead of the other way around. Mom was not best pleased (not lady-like enough, I guess), but she went along with it in the end.

I put on that great new party dress she bought me last month. The knee length skirt looks great on me, especially with the special silky stockings I talked Mom into buying. Marcus really thought so, anyway.

I picked him up in Mom's car - her car has bench seats in the front so I could let him drive and then cuddle up to him like I can't in either of our cars.

The party was great. We danced and talked with other kids, and then we danced some more.

You know, this is the first date I have been on where Bonnie was not at least in the vicinity. She is not on the team so she did not get invited.

Anyway, after the party, we went off and parked. We really steamed the windows there for a while. It would have gone a lot further than it did, except I still wasn't brave enough to venture forth without Mom's girdle on me. Poor Marcus was really in a bad way, though. I could tell from how . . . tight his slacks were around his pants fly. I remembered from personal experience just how hard that is on a guy, and was going to tell him to take me home. You know, so he could go home and deal with that painful swelling like Jack used to after a date. Merry Hand and her sisters, again.

But then I thought, hey, I probably know as much about doing that as he does, and he has been such a nice guy, and wouldn't it have been great if one of my girls had helped me reduce my swelling back when I was Jack? After all, I caused it, didn't I? And Mom says I am a healer.

Before he could start the car, I was back on him, kissing him the way I know drives him crazy. He reacted as I expected. His arms came around my back (I think that is so he won't be tempted to cop a feel - sometimes he's just too nice. I wonder what that feels like. Is it different when a guy does it than when Bonnie does it?) Anyway, he started kissing me back.

Seventeen years of experience with one of my own had his zipper down before he knew what was happening. I wasn't quite so deft getting his cock out of there, but he wasn't exactly fighting me, so it got done.

He's pretty big. My hands are a lot smaller than Jack's, but I think he is a little longer and maybe a bit thicker than Jack used to be. He was also very excited because he came very quickly. I felt very smug about the whole thing. He was a little dazed, but very, very happy, particularly when I hinted that because of my "time of the month", he would not have reciprocate. I don't think Marcus has any more real experience with pleasuring girls than I, excuse me, than Jack did. Looks like it is Merry Hand for me tonight, after all.

One thing though. What does a girl do with that slimy stuff on her hand afterwards? Luckily, Mom had some tissues in the glove compartment of her car. Guess I might need some in my purse from now on. To think I used to do that to myself every chance I got - when I was Jack, that is. Yuck.

End of Journal Entry

************* Bonnie silently crept into Laurie's room once Jacqui had fallen asleep of sensual exhaustion. "Laurel, wake up! You will never guess."

"Hmmm? Wha.." Laurie suddenly realized who it was. "Bronwyn! What is it" Is something wrong? Why aren't you in bed with Jacqui?"

"Nothing's wrong. Just listen. In her journal? She masturbated her boyfriend to an orgasm the other night. Liked doing it, too, she did." Bonnie was beaming with pride in her young charge. "I bet she's planning to gloat about doing it on her own if I tried to convince her it was an easy next step."

"Now what do we do?" Laurie whispered. "She is still not ready to make love, yet. I am pretty sure she does not yet accept what I told her about the effectiveness of birth control for Transformed women. I think she is still operating under the misconception that taking those little pills every day is going to make a difference if she ever makes love with a man."

"No problem. I am still inhibiting Marcus. If they try to go all the way, he won't be able to maintain an erection. I will figure out how to keep that from doing any long term damage to either of them when it happens, but for now, that is our failsafe." "Precocious little minx, isn't she? Only six months old and already a bit of a vamp." Laurie giggled to her friend. "But only in the nicest sense of the word, you round-heeled wench. How could she be anything else when she is your daughter. Anyway, our plan is working. She is no longer thought of as a tease at school and she is becoming more femininely confident every day. I got to get back. Just wanted you to know."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 16 days A. T.

It is official. I am going to the Prom next month as the best girl. At least, I am going as Marcus' best girl. He asked me tonight and I said yes. Bonnie would insist, anyhow, and besides I might as well admit it. I want to go and moreover, I want to go with Marcus.

He's been pretty great as boyfriends go. I know Jack would not have been so easily satisfied by the occasional hand job after going steady with a girl for nearly 3 months. He likes me and he listens to me. From what I can gather from the other girls I have been palling around with, that is pretty unusual. Was I, excuse me, was Jack that clueless about what was going on in a girl's head when he was dating them? Probably. Nothing like walking a mile in someone else's high heels. Damn, but it has already been such a very long mile. Oh well, just think how much in demand the new, more girl- smart Jack Donovan will be with all the ladies once I get myself back into my own skin, again.

You know? I think I will make my age just right to go after Bonnie when I Transform back. I love her. A lot. I don't want to lose her when I go back to being a guy, and I have the advantage of knowing exactly what makes her happy, too. She won't ever know what hit her.

Anyway, I was really pleased when he asked me. So was Mom when I told her, only now, I wish I had kept it to myself. She is gearing up for another mammoth shopping expedition only this time, she says we are looking for the dress so it may take more than one day of shopping. HELP!!! Why do women like shopping? And if they have to shop, why does it have to take all day long??? It's only another dress.

Well, maybe not. Marcus deserves a little treat for being such a pal through all this. I want to knock his eyes out and have him tripping over his tongue that night. One things for sure, we are going to the places we went after Christmas and not those places Mom took me to right after the Transformation. We are talking classy, elegant, understated sexiness, not brass and flash.

Good grief, what am I saying??

Oh, and another thing, Mom has started to teach me how to dance. Real dancing - waltzing, cheek to cheek, guy holding girl real close - that kind of stuff. It's kind of fun. She says I should invite Marcus over so he can partner me in my lessons. Hell, I am going to invite him over so he can learn to dance, too. Mom has said I need to learn to dance in real high heels for the prom, so Marcus needs to learn to dance or he will learn to fear for his feet.

It feels good not to be so angry anymore. I have come to accept that what Mom did, she did out of love. It is not her fault that I did not want the gift she wanted to give. Having her so pleased tonight, wanting to help so badly with the Prom stuff . . . it was special - sort of like the old days when it was just Mom and Jack, only different. Maybe even better. She is trying so hard.

Tomorrow's a big day, too. I defend my chess championship. Since I know I am unlikely to win, I am somewhat more relaxed than I might otherwise be tonight. Last year, Jack did not sleep for three nights before the tournament. The one hour time limit on the preliminaries should favor me, but the two hour limit for the rest of the matches means there are likely to be middle games. I would like to place, though.

End of Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 18 days A. T.

Tournament is over. I took fifth place overall. Highest finishing girl, too, so that is something.

As I predicted, I managed to win my prelims fairly handily. In both cases, I sacrificed my queen before blasting their defenses with a rook/knight attack. Less than twenty moves in both games. I won my first match in the bracket by teasing my opponent into playing too fast. Again, it was over pretty quickly and without any significant position play.

I lost in the quarter finals to the kid who won my school's championship. He knows me well enough that he forced a long, almost forty move game, and beat me in the middle game. Word got out pretty fast after that not to let me get up a head of steam, and I lost 2 of 3 matches in the consolation bracket. Beat another girl in the match that I won to take fifth place.

Still, I am pretty pleased with myself.

End Journal entry.

Laurie found Jacqui in her little library, staring at her chessboard. The fifth place medal rested in the center of the board among the massed black and white forces. She looked up and smiled at her Mother. "Hi, Mum."

Laurie pulled up another chair and settled beside the girl. Putting an arm around her shoulder, she asked. "Are you very disappointed that you did not repeat as champion?"

Jacqui leaned over and snatched up the medal by the neck ribbon and examined it closely. Finally, she sighed. "No, not really. Truthfully, I did not expect to win - especially once I saw that I could no longer manage the middle game." her brows furrowed. "Mom, I know I have asked this before, but why can't I think anymore? Like I used to? Why is it so hard to concentrate?"

Laurie started to repeat her evolutionary explanation, but remembered a recent incident where Jacqui had helped her with a computer printer problem. Maybe she would understand that more easily. "Remember the other day when I called you in to help me in my office? I was printing out something at the time, and I was angry because something was wrong with my computer. The screen was not keeping up with my typing." A soft indulgent smile flickered across Jacqui's face. "You were printing in background and trying to type at the same time."

Whatever that means, Laurie thought, then continued. "Right, and you explained that by trying to print that way, I was asking the computer to do two processes at once, but that since there was only one CPU, or computer brain, both happened slower. I had a choice, you said. I could do both at once and accept the slowdown, or I could do only one at a time. I could print faster or type faster, but could not do them both simultaneously."

"The program is effectively on hold until the CPU is done with the print job." Jacqui put in.

"Exactly. Well, the program being on hold is the way you thought as a male, dear. Anything that was extraneous to what you were focused on simply ceased to exist for you. Women don't get that choice, luv. Your brain is going to process those little subliminal clues in addition to the overt information you are working with. That is the way you are wired, now, and unlike my computer, you cannot turn that on and off to suit you. Since you still have only one brain, though, so your intuitive thinking uses part of your brainpower and effectively "slows" down your beloved rational logic. I would say that it also affects the amount of memory and other resources you can apply to that kind of serial thinking."

The girl seemed to consider this, then grinned. "Makes sense to me. No upgrades available for this CPU, either." She thought for a moment more. "You know. . . .The intuition thing is probably part of the reason I am so much better in end game, now. Some instinct seems to point at my opponent's weakness."

"A very good thing for a woman to be able to do, considering that males are usually much stronger. Evolution again."

"It is all so strange, Mum. So much of what I used to think of as being "me" is changed, and it is not just physical."

Laurie smiled gently. "Darling, being a woman is much, much more than just the physical." She leaned over and kissed the girl on her cheek. "I would say you have learned quite a bit that will help you, dear, and learned it very well, indeed."

Jacqui became very quiet at that. She stared again at her chessmen, and then at the medal she still held in her hand. Then she smiled, and leaned her head on her Mother's shoulder. For now, that was good enough for both women.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 24 days A. T. We found the dress, but it has to be fitted. Do you know what that means? It means that some female with pins in her mouth jabs them into various tender portions of my anatomy. I told her that she was trying to fit it to me, not nail it to me. The bitch only jabbed me harder the next time. I told Mom that if there is one speck of blood on that dress, we are not paying for it and I get something off the rack.

Then she told me that I had two, maybe three more fittings before the dance.

ARRRGGGGHHH!

End of Journal Entry

******************* "I couldn't believe it, Bronwyn. She picked out the dress and it is perfect on her. I would have had her in something slinkier, perhaps younger looking, but Goddess, she looks positively dangerous in this."

"Well, that is positive. Her journal still discusses going back to being Jack," and Bronwyn was not going to discuss what was currently motivating the girl with her Mother. Maybe Bonnie was becoming too important to Jacqui. "but as long as she is enjoying her little feminine adventures, we can still hold out hope for her eventual acceptance of womanhood."

"It is so sad that she did not become as we did after our own Transformation. All of us are losing out on so much because of the way she feels."

Bronwyn nodded. "I think it may have been because she was Transformed without ever having made love as a man. Neither of us were virgins at the time of our entry into womanhood, but Jack was. I think Jacqui resents that most of all, and it may be why the enchantment did not ease the way for him as we thought it should have. Our research Sisters are exploring that possibility so that we can try and avoid further occurrences this in the future."

Laurie just shook her head. "It is hard to believe that some smart girl never tripped up my gorgeous, strong son and had her wicked way with him before that time. What is wrong with these girls of today, Bronwyn?" she asked facetiously.

"AIDS for one thing," she said quietly. "Every smart girl knows that a broken condom can hold more than babies for her, now. Besides, your son had a very full plate. Between sports and school work, he did not have a lot of time to spend on a girl, getting her to where she was confident enough of him that he was worth the risk. I think those girls missed out, but that is water over the dam, now." "Are you going to the Prom, dear?" Laurie's eyes were twinkling at her friend.

"Of course. He's a lovely boy and has done his tasks very nicely." She grinned hungrily. "He might even get very lucky afterwards as a reward. The exuberance and stamina of youth make for an . . .interesting possibility or two. Should be a lot of fun. Too bad he won't remember it once I no longer need to be Bonnie." She sighed in mock dismay. "Still, the training I will give him will stand him in good stead. Some girl will be very lucky once she catches him after I am done with him." Both women started laughing at that and they moved on to other, more mundane topics.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 2 days A. T.

What is worse than a dress-fitting at the hands of the very sadistic Attila the Bun-sticker? A dress-fitting with that evil bitch when you are also dealing a rough first day of your period. The only thing that kept me going was the image of losing my lunch all over her blue tinted hair and the only thing that kept me swallowing hard not to do just that was the off chance I might miss and ruin my dress. End of Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 5 days A. T.

I can't help wondering what I did to offend Mom's friend Bronwyn. I am not imagining that she is avoiding me. She and Mom were deep in some little tete a tete this evening when I got home from visiting Tamika. Ten minutes later, she remembers an important engagement and is off.

That little niggle sense Mum says I am supposed to pay attention to is going crazy.

And another thing, when I said good bye to her, it was on the tip of my tongue to call her something other than Ms. Llewellyn, only whatever that was slipped into that nebulous part of my head that works in "background".

Whatever it is, she is Mum's friend, and I need to fix whatever is wrong if it is something I have done. Mum has a hard enough time dealing with her gender confused child. She does not need to lose a friend, too.

After the Prom, I think. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get five minutes alone with the woman without her turning tail and running for cover. It was much easier to deal with stuff like this as a guy. "Hey you" doesn't seem to work when you are only five feet six inches tall and a 120 lbs.

End Journal Entry

**************** Bronwyn, in her guise as Bonnie, was sitting in Jacqui's library watching the girl work her own brand of magic with the top-of-the-line PC on her desk. It fascinated Bronwyn to see how easily her young friend found useful information with her computer, or how quickly she did very complicated calculations and reports on it. While she wasn't actually computer-phobic, Bronwyn's use of a computer was mostly limited to word processing in her "real-life" career as a novelist.

Now that she thought about it, very few of the Sisterhood's members were technically oriented. Almost all of them were of a more . . . humanistic bent in their mental workings. What was that, left or right brained? Bronwyn couldn't remember, but which ever side of the brain that dominated her thinking, it was pretty clear that the opposite side was foremost with the novice witch in front of the computer. She was staring at the screen like it was a crystal ball. All Bronwyn could see was line after line of totally incomprehensible and unrelated letters and numbers scrolling down the screen. Finally, Jacqui sat back in her chair, a smile on her face. "That's got it." she said with evident satisfaction.

Bronwyn did not see anything on the screen that was at all different from when Jacqui had declared it was a problem, and said as much. "Oh ye of little faith." Jacqui intoned, and then made a blazing-fast series of key strokes before hitting the enter key with a maestro's flourish. The screen went dark for a second or two before a picture of Bonnie and Jacqui smiled up out of the screen.

"I don't know how you did that, since I know we never posed together for that picture." She held up her hand to forestall the expected explanation that she would not understand anyway. "I don't want to know." she grinned down at her friend. Was it possible that Jacqui's technical mind set was another piece of the puzzle of why she fought her Transformation so hard? Was there something in the way the dominant side of her brain worked that made the reality of what happened to her so . . . difficult for her to accept? She'd have to run that by the research team, too. Whatever else came of this, the Sisterhood was not going to go through so painful a Transformation transition again.

"So, you all ready for the Prom?" she asked nonchalantly.

Jacqui's attention was back on the screen, working on some other confusing list of equations and expressions. "Guess so. The dress is done, thank goodness. Most of the pin holes in me are even healed. I have had the shoes for a couple of weeks now, and a good thing, too. I would have been lame in an hour if I hadn't practiced walking in those stilts for the past few days. How about you?"

"Oh, yeah. My mom finished making my dress the other day." Another member of the Sisterhood had been drafted to act as Bonnie's Mom on those days when one had been needed. Now, she made a useful opening for a gambit that Bronwyn hoped would work out for Jacqui and for Laurie. "We are going to make a day of it, getting me ready for the big night. She is even borrowing a video camera so she can record the whole day. She is more excited than I am." Bronwyn let the hook dangle in front of her prize fish and just wiggled the bait a bit.

Frowning, Jacqui turned to face her best friend. "Your Mom? She's going to help you get ready? And it's going to take all day?"

Here little fishy, Bronwyn thought, just take a itty-bitty taste. I promise you will just love it. "You bet. She practically begged me to let her do it. It is going to be great. She is going to spend the day pampering me and I am going to look fabulous when she is done. And Jeremy is going to go nuts when he sees me." She preened for her audience because she knew she had Jacqui's complete attention. "Yeah, it is going to be really great."

Jacqui sat there, her hands unmoving on the keyboard. "You say that Moms really like doing that kind of stuff?"

Gotcha! Bronwyn thought with a hidden smile. Time to reel this prize in. "Yes. It is a special time for Moms, seeing their daughters all turned out and helping them get ready. Except for her daughter's wedding day, I think Prom Night is the most special time a Mom ever shares with her daughter."

"Really." Jacqui said distractedly. Then, she shook herself and returned her attention to the computer program on her screen. "Well, let's get this done so we can go get some dinner." And she started typing out more of those strange, meaningless symbols.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 9 days A. T.

If, as Bonnie assured me, that Prom Night is a special time for Moms - why hasn't mine asked to help beyond the buying of the dress and stuff?

Because she knows how much you hate all this femme-stuff, dummy. Thanks, Jack, I needed that kind reminder.

Only, I don't think I do, anymore.

Not as much anyway. Maybe.

Hell.

End of Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 18

Jacqui slept late the morning of the Prom. She intentionally did not set her alarm until noon because she knew it was going to be a very late night. She got out of her bed with a bounce and headed for her armoire to get some clothes when she stopped herself. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Sleep ruffled, her tousled mane of hair gave her a look that Jack found very sexy. The long, satiny nightgown hugged her youthful curves like a glove and Jack liked that even more. She sat down, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she decided if she really was going to do this.

Finally, scolding herself for her lack of conviction, and determined to do what needed to be done, she pulled on the matching, filmy peignoir, her high heeled slippers and headed down to the kitchen.

Her Mother was doing something at the stove when she came down that smelled wonderful. "About time you got up, lazybones, you have a lot to d. . ." She stopped talking when she turned to face her daughter, surprised at seeing her still in her pretty night clothes. "Uhmm, aren't you afraid you won't be ready in time for Marcus waiting so long to get started?" Heavens, but she was lovely, Laurie thought again. Why couldn't the girl see that and treasure that? "I know you don't think much of the little female rituals, dear, but there is a lot to do to get ready for a special night."

Coughing to clear her throat, Jacqui smiled shyly at her Mother. "Sort of thought there might be, Mum. I was, uhh, wondering if you could help me get ready?" The dumbfounded and unabashed hope that lit her Mother's eyes made Jacqui's insides hurt. Quickly, she rushed on, otherwise one or both of them would be crying. "I, uh, still don't know how to do up my hair and face as well as you do, and I was thinking, maybe you'd take some video of the whole shebang? I might want. . . memories . . . later." She'd almost said "when I am a man again, but had stopped herself just in time. That would start the hurting again."

A painfully joyous smile lit Laurie's face. "I could do that." she whispered. "I would really like to do that." She added. Then, before she could start bawling, Laurie spun back to the stove. "I am making your favorite breakfast of blueberry pancakes. I don't expect you will want to eat later today. So, sit yourself down. You will need nourishment if I'm going to be getting you ready."

"What ever have I let myself in for?" Jacqui laughed as she settled into the chair with a swirl of silk. Thank you, Bonnie, she thought. Thank you very much.

Jacqui was not quite so grateful seven hours later as she waited impatiently for the arrival of her date. Laurie had been a task-mistress of the first order from the moment she had set the stack of pancakes in front of her daughter.

Jacqui had been sent back to her bath twice to re-shave her legs. "The stockings are real silk, dear. We don't want pulls, now do we?" she'd asked ever-so-sweetly.

Then there was the four or five attempts to get her nail color just right, or the three different hair arrangements or the untold different makeup attempts. "You do want it to be perfect, don't you darling?" And of course, Jacqui did, for her Mom as much or more than for herself.

One problem, however, had been Laurie's quite literal interpretation of "videotaping the whole shebang". Jacqui had good naturedly chased her Mother out of the bathroom when she was getting ready for her soak in the tub, but she had needed to put her foot down when Laurie reached for the camcorder as Jacqui prepared to put on her lingerie. "Mom! I might want to share this with someone other than family someday, okay? Let's try not to turn it into a reverse strip tease?"

That had earned an embarrassed laugh from Laurie who had then, reluctantly, put down the camera to help her daughter put on the slinky wisps of satin and silk they'd bought to go with the dress. Looking at herself in the mirror as she stood there, arrayed in a red silk camisole and matching thong panties set, Jacqui thought it would be nice to have some lingerie shots of herself when she was Jack again. Although, she admitted, there would be something perverse about getting horny looking at the picture of a girl while knowing that you had been the girl.

Finally, they put on the dress. Made of shimmering red and black silks, the design of the calf length, off the shoulder formal dress had been derived from Romany styles. The vivid colors accented Jacqui's complexion and the tightly fitted bodice was cut to show just the right amount of creamy breast and cleavage. The tight waist flowed into a full skirt that would swirl teasingly as Jacqui danced and spun about the floor. With her hair teased full and tied off in a bright red satin bandanna, the large, clip-on (she'd still paled at the thought of getting her ears pierced) earrings, and her Mother's cosmetic artistry, Jacqui was done over into the living image of her gypsy Great Great Great Grandmother.

The final scene in Laurie's video production was a shot of the stunned stare on Marcus's face as he watched Jacqui slowly, regally descend the stairs. Jacqui's quick kiss and "Thanks for everything, Mom." finally sent Laurie over the edge. She spent the rest of her night watching the video of their day together again and again, weeping happily over each unexpected, precious gift her daughter had surprised her with this day.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months 12 days A. T.

What a remarkable day yesterday was. I feel like Eliza Doolittle. "...I could have danced all night..."

The Prom was a lot of fun, particularly since both Marcus and I knew how to really dance.

And I am feeling very smug and righteous about doing the girl- thing with Mom yesterday. I may not have been born or meant to be a girl, and I am not likely to stay one any longer than I have to, but Jacqui made Mom happy yesterday. And it wasn't so very difficult. Maybe if I do things like that a little more often with her, fight her on things like that a little less, it won't be so hard on her when she no longer has Jacqui. Maybe.

I also went a lot farther with Marcus yesterday than I ever intended to go. I went down on him. Yes, that is what I said. I, Jacqueline Donovan, formerly Jack Donovan, am now officially a cocksucker. Actually, that is really a crude term for something that made me feel pretty good inside because it made Marcus feel so good.

It was nothing like I expected it to be. Sort of hard and sort of velvety soft, all at the same time. As to the taste, well, it was just sort of salty. In all honesty, I am not really sure why I did it. It started out to be another hand job, but I was just so . . .so high after the dancing and the music, and he'd just been so great to me, I just sort of gave him a little kiss on his little head while a stroked his erection. Next thing I knew, I had the whole head in my mouth and he was groaning like he was in heaven. The way he responded to what I did with my mouth made me feel so incredibly powerful, so very, very strong. I never remember feeling that kind of power when I was Jack. Made my panties rather damp, actually.

Marcus wasn't shy about kissing me afterwards, either. No silly worries about being a cocksucker by proxy in my lad, and he told me he understands about me not being ready to "go all the way". Says he wants to learn to "do the same thing" for me. Does a guy do it differently than a girl, like Bonnie, does it? In any case, I think I will keep him, at least as long as I am Jacqui. He is really a good guy. I wonder if we would have been friends if I had met him as Jack? He's not into the same sports as I am... was.

And on a very positive note - if as I suspect, that making love with a guy is a critical step in my "acclimating as a woman" - I don't think that is quite so far out of the question, now. It still makes my stomach a bit queasy, but it is "butterflies in the tummy" queasy and not "oh god, not that" queasy. It is still a bit scary, but I think I can see my way clear to overcoming that particular road block to learning the Transformation Spell.

All things considered - It was a lovely day.

End Journal Entry

************* It was a surprisingly refreshed and awake Jacqui came down from her room the next morning. Jacqui was surprised to find her Mother's friend, Bronwyn, sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea, alone. She was even more surprised when Bronwyn did not gulp down her tea and bolt. Maybe I am just over- reacting, she thought.

Still not seeing her Mother, Jacqui greeted Bronwyn with her best smile. "Hi, Ms. Llewellyn. Good morning. Is my Mom around?"

Bronwyn smiled a the girl and offered her some tea. "She had to make a quick run to the store. Something about not having strawberries or some such thing."

Jacqui turned to the stove to get the tea. "Oh, she is planning her special shortcake for dinner, Bonn..." Confused, Jacqui stuttered to a stop and spun to look at Bronwyn. "I mean, Ms. Llewellyn." Something about Bronwyn caught her eye, had put her in mind of Bonnie, and she had nearly called her that. But that was silly. Bronwyn was a good four or five inches taller than the pixie tall Bonnie, and she was not nearly as . . . busy as her superbly endowed school friend.

"Is something the matter, Jacqui?" Bronwyn asked, cocking her head to one side.

"N...n.no. Nothing. Just a silly mixup is all." But that is just the way Bonnie holds her head when she is asking me something. Now hold on girl, she thought, what you are thinking is just plain impossible, she told herself sternly, but just as suddenly stopped herself in mid-argument.

Now "impossible" is a mighty strange word for you to be applying to any situation, Jacqueline who used to be Jack, she thought. And every instinct you possess is screaming "Bonnie".

Taking a shaky sip of the tea, she told herself to think clearly, and to examine all the facts. Who was Bonnie? She only knew what Bonnie had told her. And as soon as Bonnie showed up, things began to get easier for her. Who helped her with clothes and makeup when she was fighting with her Mom? Who helped start healing that breach? Who was always there to give her a little hint or to correct her before she made a humiliatingly masculine error? The answer was always the same. Bonnie. Who found Marcus and all but dared her to go out with him. Again, the answer was Bonnie.

It also made sense that, if Bonnie was really Bronwyn, that maybe she'd decided to play it safe, and keep a low profile around Jacqui.

Was it within her Mother's power to find someone to be her friend and confidante? Would her Mother do anything she could to help her daughter once she realized just how badly the Transformation had gone? The answer to each of those questions was a resounding yes.

Suddenly, all doubts disappeared from Jacqui's mind. If Laurie could Transform Jack into Jacqui, then Bonnie had to be Bronwyn, and Bronwyn was of the coven or whatever it was that group of her Mother's was called themselves. Now, the big question was whether she should be angry about the deception? Hadn't the ruse given her help she needed but would not accept from her Mother?

And then that answer became equally clear to her. She should be angry only if Bonnie/Bronwyn was not really her friend. She'd be angry only if all of it had been a deception. Otherwise, Bonnie/Bronwyn was exactly what she seemed to be - the friend she had needed. The very special friend who had always been there for Jacqui whenever she had needed her.

Taking a deep breath to soothe her fluttering stomach, Jacqui looked the older woman straight in the eye. "Hello, Bonnie- love. How are you this morning?"

Bronwyn nearly responded out of habit, without thinking, before it hit her that she wasn't wearing her "Bonnie-skin". Eyeing the girl speculatively, she made a quick assessment of whether she could bluff her way through this or not. A telepathic check of Jacqui's public mind put paid to that idea. The girl was absolutely certain. Somehow, she had taken all the disparate information and put it together into the truth. Impressed by Jacqui's powers of intuition if not her timing, Bronwyn smiled weakly at her friend. "Hello yourself, Jacqui." Suddenly, the reason behind the girl's suddenly greatly enhanced perceptions came to Bronwyn.

Smiling slyly, she said "You must have gone a whole lot further sexually last night than you ever have before." She had decreased the strength of the inhibition that she had imposed on Marcus in preparation for last night. Enough so he could press his suit a little harder, but not so much that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer if it came to that. Still, Bronwyn had not expected much to come of that. She'd thought she knew Jacqui well enough to predict how far the girl was ready to go with her fellow. "Well, you sure surprised me. So, tell me. Did you have sex with him?" She did not think she'd reduced the inhibition that far, but Jacqui could be a very inventive little minx when she was turned on, as Bronwyn well knew.

A smug smile lit the lovely face. "That is for me to know, Bonnie-love."

Grinning at her impudence, Bronwyn shook her head. "No, luv, I need to know, and please, call me Bronwyn when I am in this skin. I know it is hard, but it is also safer." If the girl had gone all the way with Marcus, Laurie needed to know now so they could determine if Jacqui had gotten pregnant.

"Thank you." Bronwyn raised an brow in silent demand and Jacqui gave in with a smile. "We didn't go all the way. I, uh, gave him fella... umm fella...." frustration at being unable to remember the technical term set off Jacqui's temper. "Oh hell, I sucked him off." she blurted.

Amused at her embarrassment, Bronwyn hid her smile behind her teacup. "Oh did you? Enjoyed it, too, didn't you?" Jacqui's angry flush deepened into a blush. "Did you swallow?" she asked knowingly.

Coloring even more brightly at the blunt question, Jacqui answered anyway. "It wasn't bad. And what else could I do with it? I might have gotten his sperm all over my dress, otherwise." then she relaxed and giggled impishly. "He squealed like a pig when I brought him off." she offered conspiratorially.

"A man usually does, dear, when a lovely woman gives him that gift. Particularly the first time a woman does it for him. I am sure Jack would have, too."

All the color drained from the girl's face. "That's something I may never know, Bronwyn. Jack never experienced that, and now, he may not ever get the chance." Taking a deep breath, she pressed on. "Do you . . . do you know . . . everything? What my Mom did to me? What she did to Jack?"

Solemnly, Bronwyn nodded. "Are you better about it, now? About your Mom?"

Her good mood dissolved, and Jacqui nodded dejectedly as she poured more tea. "Mostly, anyway. I still wish she hadn't done it. I wish I understood why she felt she had to do that to me. What she hoped to gain by it." her voice fell to a whisper. "What it was about Jack that was not good enough for her."

"Nothing!" Bronwyn's strident voice cut through Jacqui's depression. "There was nothing wrong with you as Jack. You must never think that what she did was any kind of unthinking, accidentally cruel whim on your Mother's part when she Transformed you."

"Then why, Bronwyn? Why take my whole life, turn it inside out and leave me in a world that I did not ask for" Why? What right did she have to take away the life I knew and wanted?"

Compassionately, Bronwyn put her hand across to hold Jacqui's. "Your Mother is a member of a group that I also belong to, Jacqui. We call ourselves the Sisterhood. We sensed great power in you, and a great potential to use that power for good. Therefore, because we thought the Transformation was the best way" and actually, the only way, she admitted to herself, "for all concerned, we took the responsibility upon ourselves. We elected to use this specific Transformation to expose you that power and to help motivate you to learn to wield the power yourself."

"So, like my Mom, you see nothing wrong with what you had her do to me, Bronwyn? Well, you can tell yourselves that what you did was for the best, or that it was not an unkind or unfair thing to do to me. You can go ahead and tell yourselves all that; just don't expect me to agree with you. You took away my dream. I wanted to play college ball. I had a promise from the coach at BC that he would offer me a scholarship to play big time college basketball there. Now I will never know if I would have been good enough to make it. I will always wonder, and regret not having had my chance."

Of course, Bronwyn knew all this. Laurel had cried herself to sleep in her arms every night for weeks, furiously berating herself for doing her duty to the Sisterhood. Bronwyn simply did not understand it. How could any caring person want basketball more than having the power to help people? "Seems like a small dream to me, compared to what you could become and to the things you could accomplish with your life now that you have been Transformed." Bronwyn said in a matter of fact tone that suggested Jacqui should stop whining. "Besides, you are going to college in any case. The Sisterhood is paying all your expenses to any college you want to attend. Staying in town to go to school was purely your own choice, you know."

"But it was my dream, Bronwyn. With the emphasis on the my and the emphasis on the was." Jacqui's voice was hoarse with suppressed emotion. "Even when I do manage to undo this . . this change, nothing will be the same as it would have been or could have been. Even if I change back to the way I was, to the age I was at the moment of Transformation, who will remember Jack Donovan then? Who will offer him a scholarship to play ball? Will your Sisterhood willingly expend the power necessary to give me back the life history I did not actually get a chance to live during the years I was a female? It is one thing to change records so that a John becomes a Jacqueline who has mostly the same history as the pre- Transformed male. I bet it is another thing entirely to invent a whole lifetime of records and memories for the rest of the world." She stopped to look at Bronwyn and saw the grudging agreement in her expression. "Thought so. And another thing, this doing-good-for-others thing of yours. If that is your dream, I accept it - for you, but it wasn't and isn't my dream. I am not sure I even have dreams anymore. I don't want yours and I can't have mine."

The girl understood far more than Bronwyn had expected or wanted her to understand. The Sisterhood could accomplish many things, but what Jacqui would need to become Jack again and play in a major college program was simply too complex a conjuring for them to undertake with any hope of complete success. And complete success is precisely what they would have to achieve because even the smallest mistake would lead to questions he could not answer. The Sisterhood would also risk discovery if they took such precipitous action on his behalf. He was correct. There was nothing they could do that would give back what she claimed they had taken from her. Claimed, nothing, Bronwyn thought bitterly. They had stolen her dreams because the Sisterhood, in its arrogance, had weighed Jack's dream against their need and found the dream wanting. "We have wronged you terribly, then. You still intend to reverse the Transformation at the earliest opportunity?"

A sad bleak look. "I don't know, Bronwyn. My feelings on Jack versus Jacqui run the whole spectrum. Most times, my answer is not only yes, but HELL YES, Transform me back - yesterday! But as we just discussed, the dream that drove me most of my high school life is lost to me. When I think of it that way, I just feel like saying "the hell with it". I will have to start essentially from scratch in either case. Then, there are those rare times, like immediately after making love with you, for example. In those moments, I actually think that there is a chance that my life as Jacqui might be even better than my life as an un-Transformed Jack could have been. And I hate to admit this - because I detest such weakness in myself - there are those other times?" Jacqui lifted her brows at Bronwyn as her voice dropped even lower, "Those very lonely, scary dark times when I feel there is no place in this world for Jack or Jacqui, anymore - times when I just want it all to end."

"END?!?!?" Fear clogged Bronwyn's throat and made the words a squeak. "As in the final end?" The girl nodded jerkily. "Oh, Jacqui, you mustn't. It would destroy your Mother. She was not alone in this. It was not her decision alone to Transform you and then limit your options so severely afterwards. We of the Sisterhood did it with her; we asked her to Transform you; we told her that it was the correct thing to do. We told her to craft the spell so that only you, with the fullness of your own power, could undo the Transformation. If you . . " Bronwyn had to brace herself before she could even say it aloud, "do yourself harm over this, because of what we asked her to do to you, it will kill her. She is a healer."

"I know that. It is what stopped me the one time I came close to . . doing it, and why I won't do it in the future. I love her. She is my Mum."

In a very quiet voice. "She likes hearing that from you very much, Jacqui."

"I know that, and I try to say it to her often. It is just that sometimes, I can't get past the bitterness and the hurt."

"Hurting goes both ways, luv. You are both healers. Perhaps you could heal each other?"

"I don't know, Bronwyn. Maybe. After yesterday, I think we can. I have the entire, long summer to decide."

You have the summer now that you have forced your Mother to set aside her damnable plan to sacrifice her life so you could have your male life back, Bronwyn thought gratefully. "So what will you do? About the magic and mastering the Transformation Spell?"

"Continue with it as best I can. As you know, I am not going away for college, so I can continue taking instruction with Mother. Maybe I will figure it out sooner or later. When I do, I want the option of being able to act upon the option." Then, Jacqui remembered the question she wanted answered immediately after she penetrated Bronwyn's disguise as Bonnie. "So what happens now that I know the truth about you?"

"What do you mean, luv?"

"I will miss Bonnie. She was my only real friend. Is she, or rather, are you going to just disappear from my life, now?"

Bronwyn was on her feet in a flash and pulled the girl into a tight embrace. "Goddess above, what an awful idea. Bonnie or Bronwyn, I love you, Jacqui. You are important to me. I will always be with you. In fact, now that you are strong enough to see through my disguise, I can undertake to help your Mom in your training. There are some aspects of the craft that I am much better at than she is."

"But what about . . ." she broke off, embarrassed to even continue the question.

Bronwyn arched back so she could see into the girl's eyes. "What about. . . what, dear?" Blushing furiously, but refusing to be deterred from something so important to her. "What about sex. . . I mean, making love?"

The light went on in Bronwyn's mind. She pulled the girl back to her and kissed her fiercely. When they were both breathless and heatedly aroused, she broke the kiss and rasped "Does that answer your question, you silly girl? I love you and I want you, and the only way to keep me out of your bed is to kick me out. Got that?"

A foolish grin lit Jacqui's face. "Got it, and after that kiss, I have something else, too. A burning need. Care to join me upstairs to stoke that fire a little before we put it out?" She held out a hand which the older woman enthusiastically took in her own. "It will be interesting to find out if an older lady like you can keep up with me." she added saucily.

Bronwyn's mouth fell open in stunned amazement. "Why you little . . ." Her mouth snapped shut as an evil sparkle lit her eyes. "Well, I can tell it is time to start teaching you things that Bonnie was afraid would scare you off screaming to your Mommy. Come along, Miss Smartie Britches. I am going to indoctrinate you into the more sexy aspects of spanking. You need one." And then Bronwyn began to drag a suddenly uncertain Jacqui upstairs by her ear.

A Change of Direction Chapter 19

An Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months 12 days A. T.

Wow!

Bronwyn is Bonnie and Bronwyn is also one of Mom's witch pals. She is also sexy as hell, just not so blatantly built as Bonnie. Her beauty sneaks up on you. She's just so. . . sleek-looking. Her breasts are small, but they fit so neatly in my hands and are they ever sensitive. I made her cum just by licking and nuzzling them, today.

She spanked me. Lit a fire in my insides, let me tell you, and with my own hair brush, too. I never thought getting your bottom whacked could be sexy, but it sure was. She actually made me orgasm by spanking alone. Okay, so my clitoris was bouncing off her knee in rhythm to the swats, but still, it sure shocked the hell out of me.

And that is not the only thing that shocked me. Guess who came back from the store while I was getting my butt whaled? I must admit to not being a stoic. I was screaming my head off when Mom came charging to my rescue.

I really tried to get up off Bron's knees so I could go hide, but the sneak wouldn't let me up. Mom recovered a lot quicker than I did, making some pithy remark about being "de trops" and asking if it was "a private party, or can anyone join in?" Me? I was too stunned to say anything, but Bronwyn just invited her to come in and get comfortable.

She did get comfortable, if you consider being naked to be comfortable, really quick. Next thing I know, she has her oh- so-very cool hand resting on my fiery hot butt and is trailing her fingers in between my legs. I tried to close them, but I was too late. She had a firm finger-hold on my clit.

They can talk all they want to about a hard dick having no conscience. I can now state with some authority that a hot clitoris doesn't have much of a conscience, either.

On second thought, is that aspect something unique to me, and my still male based view of sex and sexuality? I mean, when I get horny, I get horny. Instead of getting an erection, though, a whole different range of physical reactions happen now, but in my head, I am still horny. And I trust Mom and Bronwyn, so I felt safe, if a little immoral when Mom joined the party. I don't know how I would react if a really good looking older woman that I did not know and trust like I do with Mom started to play with me like that. Somehow, I don't think I would liked it or responded to her as I did to Mom.

How Jack might have reacted is a completely different matter. I can't say for certain how I would have reacted as Jack if that same good looking older lady came on to him because it never happened. What I think would have happened is that she could have led me anywhere she wanted to, as long as she had a firm grip on Jack's penis. Maybe being six foot four inches tall and weighing 220 lbs has something to do with that. I could trust myself in those situations, then. Trusting someone is much more important to me as Jacqui than it was as Jack. It is harder, too.

Mom makes love very nicely. She is so incredibly giving. I practically had to hold her down to make her let me reciprocate. That was fun, too. I liked feeling her fight and squirm as I tried to hold her still on the bed. I wonder if witches play with ropes and chains? If Mom is going to be a regular in my bed, I sure would like to see how she looked all stretched out and helpless.

Is that residual anger talking? Lord, I hope not. Besides, she really would look sexy as hell that way. Mom is built! I wonder why Jack never noticed that before?

Before I forget it. I am going to make sure I get spanked again. I wonder if Mom and Bronwyn like being spanked, too.

Hmmmm.. that leaves another very interesting question I need to consider. What would Marcus think of spanking games? Well, he is a lot stronger and a lot less experienced than Bronwyn. I am not sure I want my butt to be the one he learns on. Learning implies making mistakes which I would prefer not be made on my tender little backside. I think I will table that idea for awhile. Unless. . . . I wonder how Marcus would feel about getting a spanking? A little oral reward for his bravery under fire, perhaps? Mmmmmmmm. I like that idea. I have been wondering about what his butt looks like up close. So far, all I've seen bare is his front.

You can come back, Jack. I am through fantasizing for a while. Bronwyn is going to teach me how to work some of what she calls "the deception magicks", too. From what I gather, that entails illusions and what she calls "shape-shifting". That is evidently what she did when she became Bonnie. She told me that shape-shifting is different from Transforming in that the essential things (like gender) remain unchanged. It is more like a very good Halloween costume than a Transformation. After I learn that, I guess I could look like Jack, and I could cast an illusion that would give me the appearance of male genitalia, but I would still be a girl and I would still have all the female plumbing. Not sure what good knowing that stuff will do me, but Bronwyn assured me that it is all part of learning what I will need to know so that I can do what I have to do. She also told me she knows about my wishes with respect to becoming Jack again, and that she has promised my Mom to help me all she can.

Why doesn't that make me feel as good as it ought to make me feel?

End Journal Entry.

**************** The Brotherhood's new Chief of Investigations and Information came into Lancaster's office. The old one had not learned the names of the Sisterhood's leadership quickly enough to suit the High Leader and had paid for his failure with his protracted and very painful death. The new man rued his former superior's failure because it meant that he was now the man on the hot seat and he was not any closer than his departed boss had been to finding the answers the High Leader demanded. He only hoped that this chance bit of information would buy him a little more time.

Lancaster looked up and gave the man a withering look. "Yes? What is it?"

"Sir, we have been keeping a loose surveillance on that family in San Bernadino per your orders. Periodically, we run computer checks of the local databases in that area, trying to find irregularities that might give hints of Sisterhood operations there." Lancaster knew all that. He'd given that fool who'd failed him those precise orders personally. "So?" he snarled, pleased to see this new lackey quail before his power.

Fighting to keep his voice from quavering, the chief continued. "Sir, we have found an abnormality during one of scans of the school district computers for the school the daughter attends. Only it does not relate to her directly, but rather, to the friend she has spent so much time with over the course of the year."

Intrigued in spite of himself, Lancaster sat back and settled to listen. "Proceed." he ordered.

"Yes sir. Two weeks ago, and in all previous scans of that computer, records existed for one Bonnie Maria Davis. On further review of other machines in the local area, similar entries in that name were also found. This was verified using your own Dark Power sealed computer records, sir. Yesterday's scan showed no signs that such a person ever existed, either at the school or in any other system that had previously contained record of her. Furthermore, upon a scan of the Social Security System computers, we found that there never was any entry corresponding to this person."

Lancaster brooded for a while on that. "Analysis?"

"Speculation only, sir. We believe that for reasons known only to themselves, the Sisterhood has sent one of their own, disguised as another teen, to support the daughter in some way. We don't have a lot of data on Sisterhood procedures for guiding the transition of one of their new Sisters, but what intelligence we do have suggests that such an intervention is not the norm and should be regarded as irregular."

Lancaster digested that. That analysis meshed with what he thought about the situation. And if the bitches did have to bring in extra help with this one, what did that mean? Was it in someway significant? Was she or the mother someone special in the Sisterhood, or was this transition simply particularly difficult? What if, given the scanty nature of the Brotherhood's data on the subject, that this additional intervention was actually not uncommon? What if the Brotherhood had simply missed the presence of the supporting Sister acting as a safety net for the one in transition before this? No, Lancaster mused, this was something different, and unexpected. There was something there he could use against them, he just did not yet know what it was. He would be patient. He still was not ready in all respects to go up against the Sisterhood.

"Maintain your surveillance." he snapped out the order. "Pay particular attention to who comes and goes at the woman's house. Let me know instantly if the missing woman reappears. I don't think she will, but we must be ready if she does." Yes, there was something out of the ordinary here. "Good Job, Chief. See that you continue to do as well. You are dismissed."

Lancaster savored the pleasure of watching the man scurry out of his office like a frightened rabbit.

~--------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 20

Graduation day finally arrived and Jacqui took the top honors in Science and Mathematics. She missed out on one of the top three slots overall because her single minded focus in her strong areas resulted in a couple of "B"'s in other courses. Still, she and her Mother were proud of her accomplishments. Jacqui's only real regret was that Bonnie, as Bronwyn, was seated in the auditorium as a guest and was not beside her on the stage.

Only after the ceremony had concluded and she had joined her Mom and Bronwyn for the reception did Jacqui realize how remarkable that fact was. Her only regret about this day's events had nothing to do with the circumstances of her Transformation, but rather with the simple fact that she missed a presence that only she and her Mother now remembered. Pensively, she tried to reconcile that with how she had thought she'd feel. Perhaps, she thought, I feel this way because this part of my life was really not changed. Heck, Jack probably would have not done as well as I did, since he would have had a lot more distractions to deal with, given the NCAA offer and all. No, this day, in any case, she was where she would have been, regardless of the Transformation, and it really did not make a difference to her that she was wearing a dress and heels instead of a suit and tie.

Happily, she posed with her friends from the basketball team, and other girls she had grown fond of over the year. Tamika was there in a cast, but she was there. Jacqui felt proud of her part in that.

She posed with Marcus, and even slipped in a little kiss that her Mother dutifully caught on film. But the best picture of all, was the one Marcus took of her, standing between her Mom and Bronwyn. What made that picture so special was so simple it was complicated. In that instant Jacqui knew, that regardless of what she did or decided, she would forever after treasure that picture and that memory. Her Mom. Her Best Friend. Herself. All of them together and happy.

The festivities and celebration went long into the night, ending with the three exhausted women snuggled together in Laurie's bed.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

10 months 17 days A. T.

I am a High School Graduate.

Mom and Bronwyn went out of their way to make the day extra special and the gifts were wonderful. Bronwyn gave me a "blank check" for the laptop computer of my choice for college, since she was "certain she'd buy exactly the wrong thing."

Mom gave me a gift certificate at the clothing store she knows I like so that I can go buy my own college clothes. Said she trusted my taste and wanted me to be comfortable at college. She also said that I had learned everything I need to know about being a "very girly-type girl". I think that she intended that to be a compliment. Knowing Mom, it probably was although Jack is still squirming over it.

I cast my first solo illusion spell today, too. I wasn't mean about it, either. Although I did want to do something to that damn principal. I thought about it, too. I still wonder what would have happened if everyone in the auditorium saw him in a miniskirt. Mom would have had conniptions, though. So, I did a nice thing, instead. One of the really lonely guys at school got a kiss on the cheek today from the girl he has a horrendous crush on. Which he would not have gotten otherwise because she is a snooty, stuck-on-herself bitch. Actually, it was me. Since I am a girl, the "fool the eye-only" limitation on illusions was not a problem. Even if my looks were the only thing altered, and only in the eyes of my beholders, a girl still feels like a girl when you get hugged. And since a lot of folks saw "me"/her do it, she is having to pretend to like the guy or get teased mercilessly by her "ours doesn't stink" clique of friends. He's a nice person - maybe some of that will rub off on her.

I am going to try another, more complicated illusion later on, for my eyes only.

Oh, I forgot my best present. Mom demanded to know my most secret fantasy. I think I shocked her when I mumbled something about tying her to the bed, but she went right along with it. I was right, though, she is beautiful all stretched out tight like that. Her skin is so different from mine, all golden and light where I look like a beach bunny with an all over tan. I loved watching the play and strain of her muscles under her glistening skin as Bronwyn and I pulled her tight with the scarves we used to tie her up. Frankly though, once I had her that way, I was at something of a loss as to what to do next. Fortunately, Bronwyn was not at a loss. She had these incredible, long feathers with her. I never knew that Mom was that ticklish or that you could make someone climax from tickling.

I found out those little facts later in the evening, first hand. Mom's not the only ticklish member of this family who can be forced to an orgasm (okay, several orgasms) with tickle torture. Mom exacted her revenge on me as soon as we set her loose. She and Bronwyn ganged up on me (so what if I did not fight too hard) and had me gasping with laughter - and orgasms in very short order. Love and Laughter - it is not a bad combination. I would never have thought so as Jack. I wonder if that was because of my male ego or my male dignity?

Bronwyn slipped out of getting her turn with the feathers, though. Mom and I were just too shagged to take her down after they'd finished with me, but I have an excellent memory. An excellent imagination, too, and the mental image of the cool, reserved Bronwyn nearly peeing her panties in laughter is too much to resist.

You know what? I just realized. I am actually happy. Amazing.

End of Journal Entry.

**************** Laurie decided to take advantage of Jacqui's apparent absence to take a peek in her room. She needed to check out her daughter's wardrobe for any missing college necessities. Without announcing herself in any way, Laurie entered her daughter's supposedly empty room.

And nearly had her heart stop.

There, standing in front of the mirror, was the son she had not seen in nearly a year. She almost spoke his name aloud, but her heart was beating so fast, she could not get the word out. She just stood there, looking at him. How had he done it? Had Bronwyn discovered a way to break her enchantment? Perhaps by calling upon the sum total of the entire Sisterhood's power, her friend had found a way to break that benighted, misguided spell.

Odd how he looked now - easily recognizable as her son, but different somehow. What was it, she wondered. Then it hit her. The skin color - it was the color of Jacqui's skin, the dark olive tones of their gypsy ancestors and not the lighter skin shade of Jack's Scandinavian father. It was then that Jack noticed her reflection in the mirror. "Looks all wrong, doesn't it, Mom?" came the soft alto voice of her daughter. An instant later, her son was again replaced by the daughter he had become. "I can't even remember how I used to look." she said with an ironic twist to her full lips. "I've tried that illusion countless times since I finally got the hang of the magic. I have been trying to remember what it felt like to look like Jack, but I can't even remember enough about my own face to make a passable illusion of myself. Every time I try it, I come out as some amalgamation of Jack and Jacqui."

"Is that so very bad? Jacqui is a very nice, very attractive person."

"Thanks. I love you, too, but the point is I don't know Jack anymore. At least, I don't know the Jack I used to be anymore. Who will he be, Mom, in that future time when he is once again who I am?"

Once again who you are, Laurie thought morosely. The question that had haunted her for months, of what had not gone right for her daughter reared again. What made her daughter long so fervently for the male life she'd lost the night Laurie had Transformed her? For her daughter, though, she made the effort to lock that hurt deep inside her soul and to keep a positive spin on her words. "He will be the sum total of your experiences, good and bad, my love. Those are what will have shaped the person you will become. In your case, they will be part male and part female; boy-child, adolescent male, and teenage girl, young woman. If you think about the richness of that range of experiences, then whoever he becomes, my love, he will be a very formidable person." Almost as formidable as the woman you could become if only you could find your way to making that choice. We will need you so badly when the Dark Time comes. "Now, would you like some help with that illusion? Illusion casting is not my forte, but I suspect that my memories of what Jack looked like are a little less distorted by recent experiences than yours are. I can help mold the illusionary features for you, if you like."

"You'd do that, Mum? I mean, I know you really want me to stay as Jacqui."

"Not if it makes you unhappy, Jacqui. I cast my spell thinking you would be as happy with your new life as I have been with the one my Mother gave me. I never wanted to go back to being Larry, just as many of my friends never wanted anything but their new lives. But now, I accept the fact that you do want to go back. You are my child and I love you. I want your happiness above all else. Now, do you want to try the illusion again?"

In the light of her Mother's stark sincerity, the need that had been compelling Jacqui to try the illusion waned. If, in the final analysis, the new Jack was a combination of the best parts of the old Jack and the best parts of Jacqui, she could live with that. "Maybe some other time, Mom. I don't think it matters any more, thanks to what you just said. So, what brings you into my room, Mum? Wanna borrow some of my clothes?"

Relieved by the change of subject, Laurie snorted and gave her daughter a mocking glare. "As if I could wear anything of yours, you busy wench. Goddess, I would look like a little girl playing dress-up in her mother's clothes trying to fit into your things. No, I was just wondering what you still might need for college." After all, Jacqui's "birthday" is just around the corner, she thought.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year A. T.

Mom and Bronwyn threw a gala surprise birthday party today for me. At least that's what they called it for the benefit of the girls from the basketball team and for Marcus. Actually, as the date above this entry indicates, today marks the one year anniversary of the day I found myself changing into Agent Scully's hermaphroditic twin. Of course, we can't tell anybody else about that, so instead it was birthday cake, presents and many refrains of "Happy Birthday". It was still pretty cool. And I am really looking forward to my birthday spanking from Mom and Bronwyn, but that comes later!

Marcus gave me a lovely bracelet, with his and my initials engraved on it, the letters intertwined. I am really not sure how to handle this relationship or the feelings he evokes in me. He is becoming very important to me. What will happen to his memories when I change back? And does it really matter? Jack is straight line straight. And I don't think I can be friends with Marcus - not after. . . Well, not after everything.

Well, I am not going to worry about that - not right now, anyway. I only have a few minutes before Marcus gets here to take me dancing.

I am really curious about the two gift wrapped packages that Mom has squirreled away in her bedroom, though. She won't let me open them, or even have them in my hot little hands until the three of us are alone in her bedroom. Then I can open them. She had a very sexy look in her eye when she told me that, too. If I did not like going dancing with Marcus so much, I would be pounding on her door right now.

Oh, and Bronwyn gave me my first shape shifting lesson today. I don't think this is going to be as easy to learn as illusion casting. A whole hour of lessons and exhausting repetition and what did I accomplish? Changed my nails - made them a bit longer and a different color. HAH! I can almost do that without magic.

Oh well. Mom just called, Marcus is here. Time for my grand entrance. I wonder what he will think of this leather miniskirt? No time like the present to find out.

And no. I don't have the panty girdle on underneath the skirt. I don't think I need it anymore with Marcus. Besides, this skirt is so short, the girdle would show.

End Journal entry.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan 1 year, 1 day A. T.

Well, I did not quite need the smelling salts, but it was a near thing. Poor dear almost hyperventilated when I came down. I think I may have flashed him. The skirt is short and the steps are steep.

As to the wearing or not wearing of the panty girdle chastity belt, that little concern was much ado about not much at all. We are definitely going to have to plan this more carefully. Finding a place where Marcus and I can be alone and comfortable is a definite priority before we can start working on training his mouth for use on lips other than the ones on my face. His car does not fulfill the comfort requirement. There is not even enough room for him to get his face properly in position for a little oral loving. Darn compact cars, anyway.

I practiced my own oral technique, though. Even though he was very excited, I managed to string him out quite nicely. Teasing is fun. Following through afterwards is even more fun. He tried to reciprocate with his hands afterwards, but he needs the same type of gentling lessons I needed immediately after Transformation, but he's a quick study, my Marcus. Motivated, too.

As for me, I have a date in Mom's bedroom later to open those two presents she would not let me open in front of company. All we are waiting for is Bronwyn to arrive. Mom has this cat who is going to eat the canary look on her face every time she looks at me. Sounds like fun to me. Tweet tweet. Here, kitty-kitty.

End Journal Entry.

*************** "Well." Bronwyn said with feeling as she kicked the wadded ball of gift wrapping paper away from her chair. "That certainly was a fun time for all concerned. Not." She took a long sip from the brandy snifter cradled in her palm and let its fiery warmth burn through the knot of anxiety still curling inside her.

"Not at all what I expected, either. But my daughter often reacts the way I least expect her to react. Goddess, when I remember how excited we were when we were planning this whole fiasco, I almost want to laugh. I would, too, if I did not feel so much like crying."

"The healing spell you put on her will keep her asleep and dreaming good dreams for the rest of the night, Laurel. I expect, given a little time and a little distance, she will be fine. We just pushed a button tonight and found out that it was not wired the way we thought it was. Who would have thought, given the girl's boundless enthusiasm and innocent pleasure in every other sexy game we have introduced to her, that she would have gone over the edge because of this one?" Bronwyn shook her head in frustration. It had actually been her idea and it had gone very badly, indeed. "What are you going to do with them?" Bronwyn asked as she gestured at the bed with her snifter.

Laurie turned to regard the jumbled mass of leather and metal lying on top of her bed along side a moderately sized, but life-like artificial penis. "I don't know. Keep them, I guess." She would just as soon never have seen them in her life. "Knowing my headstrong child, as soon as she recovers from the shock of whatever happened tonight, she is going to feel humiliated by her reaction in front of us. She'll decide she has to face her "weakness" head on, and will insist on having them. Eventually, she will get used to them being around and that will help, too."

"Not one to cower for very long, is she?" Bronwyn smiled. "Too bad she has figured out about Bonnie. An "un-involved", sympathetic friend might do her a lot of good tomorrow." A thought struck Bronwyn that she did not like much at all. "Do you think that she reacted so strongly because we were the ones who gave it to her?"

"Trying to make up for taking one penis away from her by giving her a substitute? If that was a problem, it was only a small part of the puzzle - there is something else there I haven't figured out, yet. Besides, you and I know that was not the case. We were only thinking of this game as a natural progression of the woman-to-woman lovemaking she enjoys with us, but I would say that is not quite how she saw it."

"Good thing we decided against the locking harness. I shudder to think what would have happened if we had needed keys to shuck her out of that thing." Bronwyn took her last sip of brandy. "What now? She still needs to learn the lesson we intended to teach with those toys. She needs to learn how to enjoy the passive side of making love. Not that I mind her "let me do that for you, too" attitude in bed, but it's like she is cutting herself off from anything she perceives as submissiveness to anything masculine." Bronwyn snorted. "Goddess, even when she sucks Marcus off, she is in charge. The only time she ever lets go completely is when you or I tie her down first, and then she insists on quid pro quo later so she can try and outdo us."

Laurie shook her head. "I don't know, Bronwyn. As I said, I think she will come around because she simply cannot abide weakness. The lesson we may have to teach her is that loving submission is not a weakness." Laurie stood up and rolled her head about, trying to relax the stress in her shoulders and back. "For now, I think I will go crawl into bed with her. She probably won't be happy to see me when she wakes up, but I don't want her to be alone if bad dreams do come."

"Mind another bed mate, tonight? I don't much want to be alone, myself." Bronwyn asked.

"Nothing I'd like better. If she wakes up mad, you can catch your fair share of the chewing out she is going to lay on my poor head." Laurie stood and held out her hand to Bronwyn. Together, they walked out into the hall.

************* Something was tickling Jacqui's nose. Eyes still closed, she tried to reach up with her hand to brush it away, only to discover that her arm was being weighed down. Waking with a start, she realized she was not alone in bed. Cracking open one eye, she saw a halo of pale, blonde hair arrayed on the pillow in front of her. Bronwyn, she thought. That meant that the soft, warm body pressing up behind her was Mother.

And then she remembered the night before, and realized why they were all here in her bed, and not in her Mother's much larger one.

As they had all planned the day before, Jacqui had joined her Mother and Bronwyn in her Mother's room shortly after Bronwyn had arrived. Both her Mom and Bronwyn had already been dressed in very sexy nightgowns when they had ushered Jacqui into the master suite. With great ceremony, the two older women had made a real production out of stripping Jacqui down to the skin. Of course, they did not resist any opportunity to taste or touch any newly uncovered bit of skin, so by the time they had Jacqui fully naked, they also had her fully aroused. It was at this point, that her Mother had presented her with the first of the two packages she had teased Jacqui with the night before.

With all the delicacy and patience of a starving woman at a banquet, Jacqui had fallen upon the wrapping paper and had turned the beautifully wrapped package into brightly colored confetti in mere seconds. What was in the box, though remained a mystery to her even when she held it in her hands and examined it thoroughly. Once it became obvious that she had no idea what the device was, her Mother and Bronwyn had come to her aid and assisted her in donning the harness.

Jacqui first thought was that it was some kind of kinky bondage toy, and that they would use it to supplement the scarves that had become a regular part of their play over the summer. The new harness was been made of wide leather straps. One strap fit tightly around her waist, just above her hipbones, while two matching straps buckled about each of her thighs, just below the crease where her legs met the buttocks. Fine-linked, silvery chrome chains connected the thigh straps to the waist belt. Her Mother and Bronnie had been determined to make sure that all the straps and adjustable chains were tightened as much as they could be and still be comfortable for her. The fourth strap was the one that had really surprised her.

It attached in the front of the waist belt, right at her navel, and hung down. There was some type of thick, metal ring in the strap, a little less then midway down the leather length. From the ring, two thinner straps dangled. The two women had been very particular in adjusting the front connection of that strap so that the ring rested just so over her woman's mound, and then they had pulled the two dangling leathers up between her legs. Each of those straps had been pulled, ruthlessly under the crease of each buttock and had been connected to buckles at her sides. The effect, as Mother and friend had strained to cinch up tightly on the straps, was to nearly split her puss in two, while also lifting and separating the muscular, rounded half moons of her ass.

Actually, that had all been pretty exciting, Jacqui admitted to herself. When they had brought her the next package, she had hoped it contained something that would complete her bondage, maybe a set of hand cuffs, or shackles. It hadn't.

Her fingers had gone nerveless when she had pulled the latex sex toy out of the box. She remembered thinking that it was both thicker and shorter than hers, or rather Jack's had been. Bronwyn had interpreted her sudden lack of animation as confusion, because she'd slipped the fake dick out of Jacqui's hands and then snapped it into the ring above Jacqui's pubis.

Mother and Bronwyn had then all but shoved her in front of the wall mirror to admire her new "look". They'd been surprised at Jacqui's response. Maybe shocked was a better word.

Jacqui had simply lost her composure all together. She'd grabbed hold of the dildo and had tried to pull it off. Failing in that only because the harness was doing what it was designed to do, holding the toy solidly in place, she had flailed ineffectually at the myriad of buckles and catches - screaming her head off at her Mother to "Get this damned thing off me!"

Neither her Mother nor Bronwyn had been able to calm her enough to get their hands on any of the buckles. Finally, she'd felt the touch of her Mother's magic, and had slipped into sleep.

Why had she gone off the deep end, like that? Why had the simple symbolic reminder of her former masculine state send her off the deep end? She thought she had gotten beyond feeling like that. Hadn't she learned to handle her feminine needs? She was practically having an affair with a man - enjoying it, too.

Part of it had been the verbal teasing from her Mother and Bronwyn. Bronwyn's comment that "We thought you might want to keep in practice, just in case you do decide to change back to good old Jack." was one thing. Had Jacqui not been so off balanced by the scenario, she probably would have been able to deal with it in the manner Bronwyn had intended it - as a lighthearted jest at her expense, and as a bit of a challenge, too.

Unfortunately, before Jacqui had a chance to handle that remark, her Mother had chimed in. "And she needs more than practice, Bronnie." Laurie had said with an air of determined resignation. "Unlike us when we were Transformed, our little darling has a hymen. That means Jack never got it on with a girl, so we will have to teach her everything."

Up until that moment, Jacqui had not understood the significance of her possession of a hymen, at least as having one related to being a Transformed woman. She had thought that it was just one of those things; that being "reborn" as a woman meant "everything old was new again". Apparently not, and that meant that her Mother knew Jack was a virgin. He'd been a Junior in school, for god's sake, and except for that one time when he might have gotten it on with the girl, he'd never been inside a woman.

And the crowning humiliation was that his Mother, as Larry, had done what Jack never had. His Mother knew things he did not know. And so did Bronwyn. Jack's own penis had been untested at giving a woman pleasure at the time of his Transformation. And the problem was, that no matter what happened after she learned the Transformation Spell, Jack would never be able to match what that unfeeling piece of rubber could do for a woman. It would never go soft before giving the woman her pleasure. It would never finish too soon, leaving his partner high and dry. It would never become too sensitive or tender to continue.

Thoughts and feelings whirled in a dizzying maelstrom about her head. Rolling onto her back, Jacqui closed her eyes again and tried to calm herself. The deep breathing and meditation exercises her Mother had taught her as part of her healer training finally worked. Gradually, her mind slowed, and coherent thought returned.

She worked at viewing the process more objectively. The relaxation exercises had eased the tension in mind and body. She stretched to relieve the final kinks.

"Good morning," a soft voice mumbled beside her. Soft hands began stroking her hair. "How do you feel?"

A bubble of helpless laughter escaped Jacqui, causing her Mother some concern. "Better, actually." She considered a moment before adding, "Pretty good, in fact." She rolled to face her Mother and gave her a hug and kiss. "MMMMmmmm, you taste good." she cooed. "I have been laying here trying to work out what happened last night."

Forcing herself to keep her voice light, Laurie asked, "And have you come to any conclusions?"

"None that I am very proud of." Her Mother's hand gently stroked her hair and some more of the tension relaxed. Maybe talking it out with her Mother would help ease the embarrassment that Jack, and Jacqui, still felt. "You know that I . . . umm, Jack was a virgin?" Laurie nodded as she watched her daughter's eyes. "Until last night, I did not understand what being a real virgin meant in my current state. And it never occurred to me that you hadn't been a virgin when you were. . .well, when you were Larry." Jacqui tried to look away, embarrassed all over again at the admission.

Laurie took the girl's chin in her hand and drew it back so their eyes met. Soft love and understanding shown in her Mother's eyes. "Does that really matter so very much, darling?"

Jacqui swallowed, and tried to find words to express her feelings. "Maybe in a perfect world, it wouldn't. But the fact remains that I was almost eighteen and never made out with a girl." Then her eyes darkened with stormy emotion. "And YOU knew!"

Laurie chuckled at the ringing condemnation in her daughter's voice. "And I had never been a female virgin, either. Your old Mom had gone where you never had. Is that it?"

Jacqui flushed and then nodded jerkily. "All those little male fears and insecurities never went away, I guess. I never felt the confidence that comes with having "proven myself" with a woman. Some of it was that, anyway. Couple that with the fact that Jack could never hope to compete with that toy and you have the greater part of what went wrong."

Laurie gently kissed the girl's forehead. "Let me ask you a question. Have you made love with Bronwyn and me?" Unsure where this was leading, Jacqui tentatively nodded that she had. "And have you given us countless orgasms? Made us scream shamelessly with pleasure?"

A very smug, self satisfied and nearly male grin slid across the girl's features. "Damn right I have." she answered arrogantly.

"So, I would assume that, after you go back to being Jack, you are not going to forget how to do that?" Jacqui shook her head emphatically, her eyes wide with wonder and understanding. "Then how in the name of the Goddess can you be inadequate? Making love to a woman is infinitely more than the mere act of sticking a dick in her pussy." Her Mother's crude words sent Jacqui's brows lifting into her hairline. Laurie continued, pressing her advantage. "It really is pretty absurd, when you think about it logically." the word dripped with trenchant irony, "Here you are, fully female, but feeling male inadequacies in comparison to a marital aid and to your very happily female Mother. Jacqui, my girl, get a grip, will you?"

Jacqui's mouth made an "O" as she stared at her Mother. Finally, her sense of the ridiculous won over her sense of shock. She chuckled softly to herself at the images her Mother had painted across her mind's eye.

Much of the remaining tension in Jacqui's body relaxed. Sighing, she snuggled up closer to her Mother. "The rest of it was all the little hurts I did not know I still felt as a result of the Transformation. Like - "Why me?" or "What was not good enough about me that I needed to be changed this way?" All those little things that I know, intellectually anyway, had nothing to do with your decision, but that still niggle at me when I am alone in the dark. And I guess I felt cheated, looking there in the mirror, seeing an image with real breasts and a man-made penis, and knowing that no matter how good it would feel, it would not be what I would feel if I still was Jack."

"Am I to assume from your more serene demeanor," which Laurie's healer instincts sensed was the way the girl actually felt, "that you have dealt with most of that?"

"Yes. Although I wish I knew, right now, what making love to a woman felt like as a man." Jacqui sighed, "It might make so many things clearer and more simple."

"Even if I remembered how it felt, which I don't, dear, it is something that can only be experienced. I can only tell you that in my case, at least, it paled in comparison to what I experienced as the woman being made love to by a man."

Jacqui smiled at the wistful tone in her Mother's voice and cuddled closer. "Wishes and horses, Mum. I can tell you, that jerking off as Jack never felt as good as what Jacqui does to me with her fingers. Which pales in comparison to what you and Bronwyn make me feel when we are together." And she started kissing her Mother a little more seriously as that memory aroused her.

Their passion awoke Bronwyn who was soon actively participating. Nothing further was said by any of the women for a long time. Mouths had better uses at that moment than merely speaking.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 2 days A. T.

I am still kind of embarrassed at how I reacted to that gift. Mom and Bronwyn were so pleased with themselves and all ready for a good time and then I went ballistic on them. I am still not sure I completely understand why I did.

Much of it is as I told Mom. We talked some more after our morning romp (making love with two other women in a too small bed can be very friendly, although you do have to watch where you put your knees. You can bruise tender areas that way)

The harness and dildo are now in my room so that I can see always see them, or hold them or touch them periodically. For now, I just want to get more comfortable with the whole idea. Mom and Bronwyn have promised that I, alone, decide if and when those toys ever come out to play again.

After some quiet time for reflection, though, I sensed there was more to the gift than just another neat toy to add spice to our lovemaking. I asked Bronwyn about that and she gave me a funny look before shrugging. Seems the two witch women have decided that I need to let loose of my controls a little more. Bronwyn said I need to try being more passive in my lovemaking, if only for the experience. "You don't always have to be in charge like Jack evidently was on his dates." she said. "You need to experience letting someone else control the action, and let that person make you cum. If only so you will understand both sides of the experience."

That is part of the problem, although I could not admit that to Bronwyn. Jack wasn't in control on his dates. That is why he is still a virgin and I am still a virgin. Of course, there was that one time with Dani Evers. We had planned to "do it" at her place while her folks were out on a date. God, I'd been so ready and so nervous.

Unfortunately, I was not the only one. By the time we got to her bedroom, poor Dani was almost frantic - and not with the urgency to consummate our union. She was white as a sheet. I remember she had worn black lingerie and it made her pallor look even worse.

Then, she started crying. Jack had never lost a hard on so fast without cumming. She was terrified. Terrified of being found out by her parents. Terrified of getting pregnant. Hell, terrified of Jack. He ended up playing "big brother" and telling her it was all right. She finally fell asleep and Jack let himself out. So ended Jack Donovan's first and last real chance at conjugal bliss.

Maybe Bronwyn is right, though, at least about being in charge in the bedroom. I like it, and I don't know if I would much like just "taking it". I probably will try to do it that way, though. Bronwyn, the sneaky, underhanded, loving little witch knows me too well. She made it a dare.

I just don't know if I am going to try being "passive" with that harness on someone else, though. That is going to take some heavy thinking, before I do that with anyone - even Mom or Bronwyn.

And it is not because I don't trust them, or don't think they would make the experience wonderful for me that I don't want to use them to use those things on me. Mostly it's because I did not get to try the real thing as Jack. If and when Jacqui loses her virginity, I'd like to have the real thing that first time.

Not that I am ready for that, in any case. As comfortable as I think I have become with my femininity, Jack is still a big part of me, and he has a problem with it. I don't blame him, either, it is a big step. Certainly for me as Transformed woman, anyway.

Why? Well you may ask. It is simply this. The part of me that is still Jack, still heterosexual male, is dead set against doing it. That is a substantial obstacle for my desires in that regard to have to overcome. Only a monumental need to have a man inside me could get me past Jack's intransigence. I would have to be in love with that man before I would be able to get past that and have intercourse with him. And if I love him enough to make love with him, how could I leave him and become Jack again?

The really uncomfortable thing about this whole line of reasoning is that falling in love with a man, and making love with a man, do not seem to be quite as impossible as either of those ideas did a year ago.

Jack is not liking this discussion at all. Well, I don't feel that way about any man right now, if that is any consolation, Jack.

Oh well, college starts in a few weeks. That should keep me busy.

End of Journal Entry.

A Change of Direction Chapter 21

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 year 4 weeks 1 day A. T.

You know, I don't know why I insist on using the honorific "Miss" instead of the more trendy and politically correct "Ms." when I write in this book. Maybe it is a reaction to some of the girls at school who insisted that Jack call them "Ms.". Maybe I am just being pigheaded and trying to maintain something about me that is different from "real women".

Maybe it just suits me.

Got all the classes I wanted and at the times I wanted to take them. It is so great not having to take courses I don't really want to take. I have two computer science courses, a physics course, a chemistry course and calculus. This is so great! And one other course, too. Don't know about that one yet, or why I really signed up for it.

My advisor is a really good guy, who only balked a little bit when I showed him my proposed schedule. He doesn't think I am going to hack it, though. We'll see about that.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 year 2 months A. T.

First round of tests are all done, and I did pretty well. Now that the mountain of studying I needed to get done for them is over, I have a little time on my hands for the first time since school started.

Some observations. There are other girls in all of my classes, but not one other girl who is in all my classes. Of course, there is no guy who is in all my classes either, although there is one who is in all but the one I won't talk about in here. I think he is really shy, though. He won't even say hi to me on his own.

I'm glad for the non-technical course. It relaxes my head to do that reading when the other courses wear me down.

Dammit. I miss Marcus. Why couldn't he come here instead of going so far away. I miss dancing with him, and I miss. . . . well, I miss a lot of things about him.

In the evenings, now that I don't go out very much, Bronwyn has been drilling me in shape shifting. I did a fair job of changing my hair color the other night. When I tried to change my skin tone we ran into a little. . . Minor glitch. I wanted to make it lighter like Bronwyn's, only I ended up looking like a human zebra. Bronwyn says I need work on "whole body visualization" before I begin my conjure. Maybe I should try to turn into Bonnie. I got really good at visualizing that hot bodied little tart during my senior year at school. (You know what they say about eavesdroppers, Bronwyn, and you were - both hot-bodied and a tart! You think I did not remember that you showed up on the scene right after Mum promised not to peak in here?)

Well, tomorrow the unknown class starts studying one of the topics I signed up for the course to learn about. Hopefully, I will learn what I need to know.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 2 Months 13 days A. T.

Met a very interesting person today when I went to see Professor Stevens, my advisor. This guy owns a huge computer electronics firm and he is working to implement Professor Stevens' theories on quantum computing on a practical computer. In the meantime, as his part of the collaboration, this guy provides Dr. Stevens with all the latest and best computer hardware to use in his research.

He has really strange eyes. Dr. Stevens introduced us and he gave me this really searching look, like he thought he recognized me from somewhere and was trying to remember when and where. It was a very disconcerting experience. I think I will plan to be elsewhere when he visits Dr. Stevens from now on.

Marcus wrote me an email! I wonder how he found out my address? What am I going to do about him???

End Journal Entry

***************** The Brotherhood's Chief of Investigations sat silently in his chair. Lancaster had waved him into the seat opposite the huge desk when the Chief had first entered into the High Leader's Office. Lancaster had yet to say a word, but the Chief knew better than to say anything without direction.

Finally, Lancaster leveled the fearsome power of his eyes on his subordinate. "My work with the college teacher is going in accordance with the plan. I also met the girl today. One would never know that a mere fifteen months ago she was a male." A malevolent grin lit his chiseled features. "I do not believe she liked me very much. In any case, as long as the professor is her program advisor, and I will see that he continues in that role, I will have a reliable source of information on what the girl is up to. She is still living at home?" The chief affirmed that she was. "And the other woman, Llewellyn, continues to visit regularly?" Again, the chief confirmed this. "Very well, relax the surveillance on the girl and her Mother. We will use the good professor as our surveillance asset for now. My hypnotic programming of him is complete and thorough. He will watch her for us and report on any unusual activities immediately." That over, he switched topics abruptly. "What about the other suspected Sister we have unearthed?"

"Roberta Lawler lives in Austin, Texas. She has recently been observed visiting an obstetrics clinic near her home. We made a midnight reconnaissance of the office and ascertained that the woman is two to three months pregnant. She is expected to deliver in the March or April time frame."

"Any indication of the sex of the child?"

"None, although it is too early for sonogram determination of gender. If she is, as we believe, a member of the Sisterhood, then she would likely not feel the need for a sonogram merely to determine its sex."

"Too bad. If it was a girl baby, we'd know for a fact that she was not a Sister. Very well. I want round the clock surveillance on the Lawler girl and an action response team in the area the moment the fetus becomes viable outside the womb. Muster the team as soon as the woman gives any signs of going into labor. I want them to take both the woman and the child as soon as we know the child is male and as soon after the actual birth as possible. Something about the birthing process is critical to the Sisterhood and we must know what that is before we can hope to deal with them effectively."

Feeling that he must speak, but not wanting to, the chief cleared his throat. "It may simply be the celebration of birth, High Leader. Most Matriarchal Societies place great store on the creation and nurturing of new life through the birth experience."

"It may very well be that, Chief, but somehow, I don't think so. The Sisterhood is not a classical matriarchal society since every member of that cursed group was at one time male. No, there is something more to it than just female life worship." His arguments made him even more certain. "Go set up the operation in Houston. Your piteous begging for the surcease of your own death will go unanswered for a very long time if you fail to capture the woman and her child alive."

The man's fear was palpable as he hurriedly left the office to carry out his Master's orders. The taste of his emotion was sweet on Erich Lancaster's tongue, and he laughed at the pure, unadulterated pleasure of having been the cause of it.

~--------~

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 3 Months 5 days A. T.

I don't know what to believe. On one hand, I have heard Mom and Bronwyn speak about things often enough that I am relatively confident that I understand many of their beliefs. But what I got from that class does not jive with what they have said when they did not think I was listening.

I am going to the library right now to see if they have anything in the rare books sections that will help. Probably not since I don't read or speak foreign or dead languages. Cripes, why could not the old Celtic civilizations have written their stuff in "C" instead of Gaelic? Oh, well, I hope the translations are good. They will certainly be better than I could do, but will they be accurate enough for my needs?

Hmmmm. I wonder if there are independent sources of information about this on the Internet? There is stuff about most every thing else, why not this? Yahoo, Alta Vista, Lycos - here comes Jacqui!

End Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 22

"Hello?" Laurie's voice echoed in the earpiece of her phone.

"Mother? It's Jacqui. I've just learned some things that I need to talk about with you. Now."

The emotion in her daughter's voice alarmed Laurie. "Jacqui, what is it? What is wrong?"

"NOT over the phone, Mother. You might want Bronwyn there, too. I have questions and I want answers. I will see you in about half an hour. Bye." The phone clicked off preemptively in Laurie's ear. Frightened now, she quickly dialed Bronwyn's line. Whatever this was, she did not want to face it alone.

Bronwyn and Jacqui arrived at Laurie's house almost simultaneously. Bronwyn was already out of her car and decided to wait for Jacqui to get out of her own before going up to the door. She watched as Jacqui, dressed in her jeans for a change, pulled a large manilla envelope stuffed with paper out of her book bag before closing her car door behind her.

"Hello, Jacqui." she said pleasantly, "What is so important that you had to frighten your Mother and pull me away from my writing?"

Jacqui did not acknowledge the greeting, other than to say "Not out here, Bronwyn. Inside, please." before she stomped past to the door.

Inside, Laurie had laid a light lunch on the kitchen table where she led the two women after greeting them with hugs and kisses at the door. Once seated, a highly agitated Jacqui tossed the envelope she'd carried in with her across the table in the general direction of Bronwyn and her Mother.

Curious, Bronwyn opened the envelope and was surprised to see papers discussing various aspects of Wicca on top. Quickly, she riffled through the rest of the thick stack and found that all of the papers were on that topic. "I have been using the Internet to research modern day witches. As you can see, the bulk of what I found is on Wicca. I started reading it and saw that it had much in common with what you two have been teaching me." Jacqui paused to take a calming breath. "With two small exceptions that I currently know about. Several of the documents specifically state that there is no concept of an entity of absolute evil in the Wiccan belief systems. In other words, they don't accept the existence of a devil. The other thing is that they include male witches in their groups. I don't think you do, Bronwyn. I don't know why I believe that, but I am absolutely convinced that the only men in your group are now women."

Bronwyn set the papers down and looked at Laurie before returning her attention to the very upset young woman across from them. "So?" She was not sure what had the girl so upset, but she knew she needed to get it out before they could help her.

"You two do believe in the existence of such an evil power. I have caught hints of that belief in your teaching of the magic, and in your conversations. That means that whatever you two and your Sisterhood are, you are very different from what I have read about in there. I want to know what is going on. There is something about all this that you have not told me. Somehow, I know that it involves whatever this evil power is and that it is at the core of the reason you Transformed me."

"Oh." Bronwyn sighed as Laurie looked down at her hands, avoiding making further eye contact with her daughter.

"That is all you have to say? "OH"???" Jacqui roared, pounding her fists against the table top in an altogether male response.

"No, Jacqui. That is not all we have to say." She shook her head. Too soon, she thought. She has not even had a full year of formal training, yet. Laurel and Bronwyn had previously agreed they would never tell the girl the whole story since they accepted that Jacqui would choose to become Jack. There simply was no reason for a powerless man to be concerned with the issues that confronted the Sisterhood.

That had just changed, radically, because of a tool that had not existed at the time of their own Transformations - the World Wide Web. Computers and magic were a powerful combination, and one that the Sisterhood had never really had to deal with before. The resulting synergy of such easily accessed and organized raw data coupled with Jacqui's own rapidly developing intuition was potent, if premature. Now, she had no choice but to explain most of the truth, and hope that Jacqui could deal with it. "All right, I will explain about the Sisterhood and why we continue to exist. I would ask that you listen, Jacqui, without comment until I am through. I give you my solemn word that everything I am about to say is the truth as we know it. You are correct in your surmise that we are not truly of Wicca. They are followers of peace. We also seek peace, but our order was created to fight for that peace. Perhaps a weak analogy is that the followers of Wicca are like the monastery monks of the Middle Ages. The Sisterhood is more akin to the fighting priesthood that was known as the Knights of the Temple, or more simply, the Knights Templer."

Bronwyn's Story.

There are two ways to power. One is the way of Light and one is via the absence of light, or the way of Darkness. The Sisterhood considers the way of Light to be the way of the Goddess whose dictates we follow. The converse of the Sisterhood is a group known as the Brotherhood. They follow the Dark Power which they personify into the being they call the Dark One. Whether such an entity really exists or not is a moot point. The Brotherhood believes that he exists and the power they attribute to deriving from him is real. We must deal with that power and with those who wield it.

In some ancient time before recorded history, the powers of Light and Dark existed together in harmony until something went very wrong. The followers of the Dark One attacked those who followed the Light and all but wiped them out. The group that undertook that ambush eventually became the Brotherhood. With the seeming destruction of the only beings who were capable of stopping them, the Brotherhood turned their power to conquest and brought the local tribes of men under their yoke.

However, unknown to the Brothers, a few of the men who were attacked survived the ambush. They hid from the Brotherhood and sought ways to oppose them without taking the same Dark Path. Ultimately, their search brought them to the Goddess. Upon hearing their appeal, and seeing the suffering of those under the Dominion of the Brotherhood, She offered them a bargain. She would grant them the power they needed to oppose the Brotherhood successfully, but only at a price. The survivors are said to have initially quailed at Her price, but finally, unable to bear the suffering of their fellow humans any longer, they agreed to the Goddess' offer. Thus, the Sisterhood was born, for the price of Her aid was the surrender of their masculinity. Gradually, the new Sisterhood grew in their own power and slowly began to confront the Brotherhood. After a long struggle, they managed to bring about the downfall of the evil members who had led the rest of the group astray.

Following that initial conflict, the two groups continued to exist as cohesive groups, while training new members to ensure the continuation of their orders.

It was at this juncture that the Sisterhood discovered that they could only breed sons; and sons could not wield the power bequeathed to them by the Goddess. Evidently something about their Goddess-Transformed eggs somehow rejected any sperm cell that carried a female-creating "X" chromosome. Again with the intervention of the Goddess, they developed their own version of the Transformation Spell as their only means of perpetuating the Sisterhood. This was absolutely vital because they knew that a viable instrument had to exist in order to combat the Brotherhood if they again decided to use the Dark Power to dominate other people.

Thus were two opposing factions born; the Brotherhood of Men wielding the Dark Power, and the Sisterhood of Transformed Men wielding the Power of Light. Time and again, evil men have gained power in the Brotherhood and have been opposed by the Sisterhood. Each time, the Sisterhood deterred the Brotherhood, but only at great personal cost to the members of the Sisterhood.

Understand, please, that the Dark Power is not inherently evil. Throughout our recorded history, there have been many good men in the Brotherhood; men who have used their power in the service and to the betterment of humankind. However, implicit in the Dark Power is the potential to bring forth evil in the men who wield it. When a particularly powerful Brother turns away from humanity, terrible things happen on the earth and many die before they can be stopped.

The most recent major confrontation between the Brotherhood and the Sisterhood occurred during this century. After nearly a hundred years of uneasy peace between the factions, a young acolyte of the Brotherhood came onto the scene. Rapidly, his command of the Dark Power grew. He used his power to captivate, to enthrall and to inspire huge crowds of fearful and desperate people. Eventually, he came to the attention of other members of the Brotherhood who shared his views on the world.

In a remarkable series of coups, the young man and his circle of supporters first took control of the Brotherhood, installing him as the High Leader, and then gained absolute power over their country with him as the nation's absolute dictator. Before this reign of terror ended, these men had nearly conquered the entire world while laying a great deal of it to waste. The young acolyte was Adolf Hitler, High Leader of the Brotherhood, and Fuhrer (Leader) of Nazi Germany. The men who supported his dual rise to power in the Brotherhood and in Post-World War I Germany were Joseph Goebbels, Heinrich Himmler, Ernst Roehm, Martin Borman and Rudolf Hess. The confrontation is recorded in the human history as World War II.

Like the great nations of the world, the Sisterhood was caught off guard by the sudden appearance of a new High Leader with aspirations of world domination and conquest. Although they perceived the danger sooner than the world's leaders, by the time they fully recognized the threat Hitler posed, he had become too powerful. It was only a matter of time before he took over Germany and the Sisterhood had already lost any hope of stopping him by direct action. Grimly, they were forced to accept that only with subtlety and blood - a great deal of blood - could they hope to stop him.

The essential contributions of the two great heroes of that conflict remain unknown to the world at large. Oddly enough, both were in the centers of national and world power throughout the conflict, but their true roles in shaping the final Allied victory remain the closely guarded secrets of the Sisterhood to this day.

One of these heroes was named Elias and the other was named Evan. At least, that was how they were known before they were initiated into the Sisterhood and all record of their male identities disappeared forever.

In 1930, the danger represented by Adolf Hitler finally became clear to the Sisterhood. Shortly thereafter, Eleanor (Elias) Roosevelt ascended to the office of High Priestess of the Sisterhood. Rarely do Sisters take such public roles, and never before had a High Priestess been so well known, but those were desperate times. As a result of her family's public persona, only one of her sons, the oldest was Transformed. Unfortunately, once it became obvious that FDR was going to be a very public figure, Eleanor was forced to attempt the Transformation when Alan, then Anna, was very young. She had to "adjust" FDR's memories to do this, but she was there to protect him against outside magical influences. In the final analysis, Anna was too young at the time of Transformation for she never was able to learn to wield the power. That sometimes happens when a subject is very young at the time of Transformation. In any case, none of the other sons could be Transformed under that such world wide public scrutiny so their entry into the Sisterhood was sacrificed to win the War.

Eleanor's primary task was to prepare an unwilling, isolationist United States for the unavoidable war to come. Under her direction, the power of the Sisterhood was used as never before, influencing the outcomes of certain critical events in the United States. How else, but with the help of the Goddess, could a man confined to a wheelchair win the Presidency of a country still tied to its rough and tumble past? With her husband installed in the White House, she used the power of his office to revive the Depression-crippled economy, ensuring that it would be ready to be "The Arsenal of Democracy" when the dark days came.

However, the most important action undertaken by the Sisterhood under her leadership was also the most painful one - the complete disruption of certain critical U.S. intelligence and military operations in the early hours of December 7, 1941. Eleanor's efforts deprived the United States of information that should have given at least six hours of advanced warning of the imminent attack on Pearl Harbor by elements of the Japanese Navy. Eleanor knew that only a fully committed and war-hungry United States could defeat the Brotherhood supported Nazi War Machine. Therefore, she and other members of the Sisterhood interfered with the collection, analysis and consolidation of the various clues that otherwise would have accurately predicted the Pearl Harbor attack. This gave the Japanese their clear, unopposed path to Pearl Harbor, and put the power of the United States irrevocably and completely on the side of the Allies. Eleanor's final crucial decision was made in 1944. It was another very painful duty for a woman sworn to protect and nurture life. By the end of 1943, it had become obvious that not even the strongest healers in the Sisterhood could keep the increasingly frail FDR alive much longer. However, the country still needed a strong leader to finish the job that Eleanor, through FDR, had begun. The best, most merciful option would have been to have someone else win the Presidency that year and let Roosevelt go home and die in peace. Unfortunately, none of the likely winners of a post-FDR election possessed the strength of character that would be necessary in the final days of the conflict. Finally, and with much remorse, Eleanor agreed to make FDR run for President one last time, knowing that he could not possibly survive another year in that office.

The High Priestess of the Sisterhood personally handpicked the best man for the onerous tasks ahead to be FDR's final running mate. Thus, the little known Senator for Missouri, Harry S. Truman, was elected Vice President of the United States in the 1944 elections. Less than a year after assuming that office, Mr. Truman ascended to Presidency of the United States.

The other great unknown hero of the War was Eva (Evan) Braun. In 1932, she became the Sisterhood's woman inside the Nazi- Brotherhood cabal. As Adolf Hitler's Mistress for almost fourteen years, she suffered terribly. Eva Braun tolerated and encouraged the attentions of a sadistic madman so that she could collect and pass on vital intelligence about German operations and planning to the Allies via the Sisterhood. She also subtly reenforced Hitler's growing megalomania by pandering to his already monumental ego. One result of her efforts was Hitler's precipitous and ultimately disastrous invasion of the Soviet Union that forced Germany to fight a hopeless two front war. Eva even managed to influence Hitler to see the infamous Dr. Mengala whose crippling drug "therapies" further undermined the self control of the insane High Leader.

By volunteering to become the Sisterhood's conduit to and from Hitler's lair, Eva had willingly accepted a life that was hell on earth. Toward the end of the war, the Fuhrer's madness grew geometrically with each defeat, and so did the torments he inflicted on Eva. Her final act of heroism was in the manner and method of her own death. Fearing that Hitler or one of his henchmen might at last have seen through her disguise, she elected to induce him to commit suicide. She died beside him that fateful day in the Berlin Bunker, literally shaming him into finally taking his own life with her own courageous example. Goebells' last hope of smuggling the High Leader out of Germany and reconstituting their Power through Hitler as a figure head, died with Eva and the Fuhrer. Goebells took his own life shortly thereafter.

Now, we appear to be facing a new, and evidently, very powerful High Leader who shares those dreams of conquest. We don't know who or where he is, but we have seen signs that point in that direction. We needed to prepare for a conflict, and we needed more power on our side of the ledger. As I said earlier, only women can wield the white magic. Similarly, only men can wield the dark. As Jack, you could not wield the Dark Power because of certain rites that were performed by your Mother at your birth. Still, you had a spark of power in you that could become great if you accepted the Gift of the Goddess. That was why the Sisterhood Transformed you - so you could become a woman who could grow in the power the Sisterhood needs to face a rearmed Brotherhood.

End of Bronwyn's story.

Jacqui was very quiet after Bronwyn finished her tale. Whatever she had expected, what she had been told was not it. Was she supposed to become some type of female mystic warrior, fighting to the death against the evil minions of the Dark Brotherhood? Lord, it sounded like something from a comic book or a B-Movie, Texas Chainsaw Bimbo Witches. "I don't think I can deal with this, Mom, Bronwyn. You did this to me, took away everything I thought was mine, to go to war? What am I? Some sort of witch-assassin in training? Buffy the Brother-Slayer?"

The other two women spoke simultaneously. "No!" "Goddess, no!" then looked at each other apologetically. Laurie continued. "Jacqui, the Sisterhood does not, cannot kill. We fight the Brotherhood, yes, but our purpose is to deprive them of power, not life. Remember what I told you would happen if you aborted a child. A Sister who kills another human being forfeits forever the Gift of the Goddess."

"But how? I mean, what do you. . . Lord, I assume that the Brotherhood has no such limitations on the use of their power?"

Bronwyn smiled sadly. "You assume correctly. The Dark Power is very capable of destruction and death. It is one of the reasons that Hitler was so effective at removing his opponents just before they became a real problem. The Brotherhood can and does kill, Jacqui, with great ease and effect."

"They can try to kill you, but you can't kill in return." Jacqui just shook her head in disbelief. "Amazing. I am surprised there is a Sisterhood left if these little turf wars have been going on throughout history."

"There have been times when it has been a near thing, but we are not so defenseless as that. The Dark Power exists in the absence of light. Our power derives from the Light, and we have ways to attack individual Brothers, provided they are not too powerful, by sort of "filling in" the dark places with light. That is not quite what we do, but the analogy is close. In any case, the end result of that attack is a Brother who has been permanently divorced from his source of power, and who no longer has any feelings of aggression. Some of us are very powerful, and we can do this to most of the Brotherhood."

"We also," Bronwyn continued, "Work as we did during World War II, removing their power base in the non-magic world, and de- stabilizing their command structure. As we said, not all Brothers are evil and usually, the ones who are not take advantage of our activities to bring down the evil ones."

"Sounds like a shaky way to fight a war, Bronwyn. I suspect there are casualties?"

"Sadly, yes. On both sides."

"And you," Jacqui looked at Bronwyn before turning her eyes to Laurie, "and you, want me to join your fight?"

Bronwyn took Laurie's trembling hand. The accusation in Jacqui's voice pained her, and had to devastate Laurie. "We felt that, once again, the world would need us to be ready to face the Brotherhood and to answer that call, we felt that we needed you and your talents on our side." she answered with grim dignity.

"Greetings from the High Priestess, you have been drafted." She returned with disgusted irony in her tones. "I don't want any part of that, Bronwyn. Now, I suppose this is where you tell me that my failure to cooperate will force you to end the lessons I need to be able to reverse the Transformation Spell?"

"No!" the shout from Laurie rocked Jacqui back. "I told you, I promised you that I would do everything in my power to help you undo what I have done. That promise stands unchanged and unconditionally. Whether we wanted you to help us or not is a moot point, since we have accepted that your foremost desire is to change back. As Jack, you cannot wield the power. There is nothing Jack could do to help us."

Bronwyn added. "I add my own assurances to your Mother's, Jacqui. Nothing changes. Yes, we want and need the power you could add to our ranks. However, you have to want to be there with us, the same as any other Sister. Some of us are going to die in the coming fight, Jacqui. Those who go to fight, must know in their hearts that such a sacrifice is justified. If you don't feel that way, there is no way we could permit you to join us."

Nothing more was said for several minutes as all three women tried to cope with the emotions of the previous half hour. Finally, Bronwyn held out a hand to Jacqui. She eyed it, and then slowly reached out her own to take it in hers. Tentatively, Laurie held out her free hand to her daughter and felt joy when Jacqui all but snatched at it, gripping it tightly in her own. "I don't know about you two," Bronwyn said haltingly, "But I would really like to be held." Simultaneous "Me, too"-s answered her and she used her own power to shift them into Laurie's large bed. Disoriented by the teleportation, it took Jacqui a moment or two to realize where she was and that she was in the middle between the two older women. It only took an instant longer than that to realize that all of them were completely naked. Unprepared for the sudden change, Jacqui spun toward her Mother and made to get out of the bed. Bronwyn caught her about the waist and pulled her back down and into her, spoon fashion and her Mother enfolded her in a full body embrace, her breasts flattening against Jacqui's own. Jacqui's protest were swallowed by Laurie's mouth covering her own and Laurie's tongue impudently exploring her mouth. The clever hands of two experienced women made short work of any lingering, halfhearted resistance.

************ The man entered into the spacious office, pleased for once to make his reports. He had what he thought was good news for a change. The High Leader was seated at his desk, pouring over some report, which he continued until he deemed he had made his minion wait long enough. Even so petty an expression of power fed the hunger inside him. "Well?" he asked preemptively.

"The girl has been doing a very exhaustive search of online and other reference resources for information on witches and magic for some time now. We have been monitoring her accounts and know exactly what she has seen and what she has downloaded to her private machine." He looked up from his notes at the High Leader.

"So?" he challenged. "The boy-slut is highly computer literate. That she is using those skills to try and learn about the ones who did this to him should be expected. Too bad your ineffectual organization did not discover him until after the bitches Transformed him. I could have used someone with that potential for power coupled with modern technical skills." Fearing the direction the High Leader was taking this discussion, the Chief rushed on to get back to his own purpose in being here. "Yes, we did expect the data search, High Leader, which is why we have tapped her accounts. In any case, after the last download, she spent some time apparently organizing and analyzing the data, then phoned her Mother. She refused to tell her what she wanted, but rather insisted on meeting her immediately, along with the other subject, Bronwyn Llewellyn. All three subjects met at the Mother's house about thirty minutes later. No one left until the next morning."

The High Leader considered this. "I think we can assume that the Llewellyn woman is a high adept of the Sisterhood, perhaps even the High Priestess. We know she protected the girl throughout her last year of high school and has continued to take a deep interest in her activities since. As far as we know, this is a singular deviation from their normal procedure of leaving the Transformed sluts to their Mothers. So, the girl must be important to them. Why?" He looked up at his minion with angry eyes. "Tell me why!" he bellowed. "And don't come back here until you can. Don't make me wait too long for your return, either."

The man scurried from the room, his heart racing. That had been a near thing. The High Leader was becoming more dangerously unpredictable with each passing day.

~-------------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 23

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jackie Donovan 1 year, 3 months, 14 days A. T.

Damn, but I am really blown away by all this. I think, at last, I really have the full story and the real reasons for my Transformation.

As to what I am going to do about the coming fight with the Brotherhood, that is a problem for me. On one hand, my MOM is going to be involved. Worse, she has told me she needs me. On the other hand, the me she needs is Jacqui, not Jack. Jack is of no use to them at all, and although they did not say it outright, I suspect that he may actually be a liability to them. That means I have to stay Jacqui in order to help her, and yes, in order to protect her.

And on top of everything else, there is this guy in my parapsychology course. (Mom and Bronwyn didn't know I was taking this course, but it fit in my schedule. Someone said know thy enemy and know thyself. I just can't figure out yet if I have met the enemy and he is me.) Anyway, this guy has been giving me the eye for a couple of weeks now, and today, I found myself daydreaming about him. Lord help me, I actually told myself he was cute! Jack is not happy!

All of which pointedly reminds me how much I really, really miss Marcus.

And that is another thing. Hey, Bronwyn, I am getting tired of dropping hints. I need some of the insight I used to get from Bonnie. You remember her? Smart mouth, cute as a button, big boobs, sneaky witch type. Listen, girlfriend, You got me into this mess. "A little hand job is just the thing to keep a boy happy, Jacqui." Well, a little hand job is damned well not going to keep me happy much longer and it is scaring the hell out of me and Jack.

Now, Bronwyn, will you please quit pretending you aren't reading this and come talk to me? It is hard enough writing this stuff. I don't know if I can say out loud in the open on my own. In other words, Bronwyn-dear. . . . HEELLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!

Is that subtle enough for you? As if life was not already complicated enough.

End Journal Entry.

*********************** Bronwyn entered Laurie's sanctum with a delighted grin on her lovely features. "She is going crazy, Laurel. I think this could be a big turnaround for her and for us."

Laurie, who had been working on her latest book, a historical compilation of herbal remedies, looked up at her friend with confusion written across her face. "I assume you are talking about Jacqui, but I haven't the faintest idea what you mean." She offered a glass of iced tea which Bronwyn accepted as she sat down in the overstuffed chair near the bookcases.

"Yes, I mean Jacqui. She is coming to the realization that she wants Marcus sexually. She has also divined that I am peeking into her journal. Goddess, but her intuition is still getting stronger. She's been leaving me little hints in that "this-is-not-a-diary" of hers for the past couple of months or so. Her last entry all but orders me to get off my fanny and help her figure out what to do about her feelings for him. Quite forcefully, too." The grin got wider. "She wants to blame Bonnie for that, too, since she encouraged her to go out with the boy in the first place."

"Encouraged? Sure you did, woman. Like a baseball bat encourages a ball to change direction. WHAP!" Laurie smirked at her friend as she smacked her hands together hard.

Bronwyn had the grace to blush slightly. "So she needed a little push." Laurie's eyebrow went up in challenge. "Okay, so it was a big push, but she has not really regretted it. And she sucked him off the first time completely on her own." Another wicked little grin. "One thing I will say for you, Laurel, you did a great job adjusting her sex drive."

A little uncomfortable with that reminder of what she had done to her son, Laurie tried to joke past it. "Natural family talent, my dear, and the enthusiasm of youth."

Recognizing the misdirection for what it was, Bronwyn did not argue the point. "Well, she wants him badly enough to admit it to herself and to me. In her writing, anyway. So, Mother of the would-be Bride, what do we do?"

"I am not sure I know what you mean."

"Of course you do, Laurel. You just don't want to accept any more responsibility for the necessary manipulation of your child's developing femininity, but she needs our help, luv. You are still the one person who knows her best. Now, as I see it, we can do one of three things. Ignore the writing and not admit I know what she wrote. That has the advantage of simplicity and would force the girl to make her own decisions."

"It also has a couple of big disadvantages. She won't believe your claims that you don't know what she is writing. You are right - her 'Knowing' power is formidable and she has come to trust it without realizing it. The other problem evolves from that first one. If she thinks you have ignored her, and whatever she does goes wrong, we could lose her trust."

Bronwyn frowned for the first time. "Point taken. And whether we help her undo the Transformation or ease her into a position of prominence within the Sisterhood, we will need that hard won trust. Okay, we have to do something. Possibility two is that we encourage her to take the big step. Go all the way and make beautiful love with Marcus. A little magical influence and he is the greatest lover since Don Juan. Sensitive yet forceful, open to any sexy games that you daughter wants to play - in other words, a guy straight out of the latest romance novel. With her inherent sensuality, she will love every sweaty minute of it."

"Is she ready to learn the Transformation Spell? I mean, really ready? Because if she isn't, that is very risky. She is on birth control, but you know that means nothing with a Transformee. If she becomes really enthusiastic, heck, when she becomes enthusiastic, she will want him frequently. She will get pregnant in very short order."

Bronwyn's shoulders slumped. "She is close, Laurel. I have never seen a student grow so quickly in her power. She will have the shape shifting down in another week or two, but it might be as much as six months to a year before she is truly ready for that step."

"I agree with that. So, what other option is there that will let her play without having to pay too much of a price?"

The wicked grin was back. "Laurel." she chided, "You know as well as I do that there is more than one way to make love to a man, and more than one place a woman can be put to the cock."

Laurel frowned momentarily before understanding made her eyes go wide. "You don't mean. . ."

"Sure I do." was the immediate response. "And she will have to really want it, so it will be a good test of her readiness to start the next and most critical phase of her training. And besides," the smile grew even wider, "She might want a little practice before she tries it with Marcus. I would love to try that with her and it would give us a chance to teach that passive loving lesson again."

Laurie's own expression went soft with sexual longing. "Oh, Goddess. Me, too." she said fervently. "Me, too."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 3 months 18 days A. T.

So, Bronwyn has finally admitted to reading this. And she offered me some advice on how to handle this . . . thing with Marcus. Laid out three options for me and gave me the upside and the downside of each one. Actually two options, because her first solution, which is to do nothing at all, is not going to make it. I don't know much about this female need that is starting to simmer inside me, but I do know this. Trying to pretend it away is a good way to make the pot boil over. Can you spell "Motherhood"?

And no, if that does happen, I will not abort the baby. And not because of that threat Mom laid on me right after the Transformation, either. Since I told Bronnie to keep peaking (sometimes it is easier to admit I need help here - this female thing is still kind of scary to talk about out loud) I won't say what the threat was. Bronwyn might not know about it and I don't want Mom to be embarrassed by it. However, I know her and her beliefs well enough by now to realize she was bluffing to keep me from doing something stupid.

No, the baby would stay because I would not do that to Marcus.

So, I have only two options, and only one that assures I don't have to spell that M word. Bronwyn gave me this kinky "how- to" book, some stuff in a tube and recommended that I practice before I try it with Marcus.

Practice?

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 3 months 18 days A. T.

OMIGOD! I just browsed through that book. NOW I understand "practice". There were pictures of women using rubber dicks on themselves. . . umm. . back there. From behind.

Now that I have seen it in the book, I keep swiveling my head over to the strap on harness and dildo Mom and Bronwyn bought me last summer. It really would fit??? There?!?!

Near as I can recall, it is about the same size as Marcus.

Maybe this is something you work up to. . . there were pictures of women using their fingers, too. I mean, heck, the doctor did that to Jack once, during a physical.

Now, Jack, maybe it is different if you are turned on when it happens, or if you are doing it for fun. Doctors probably don't like sticking their fingers up guys' butts either, so they probably don't do it the way Bronwyn's book describes.

Hey. It is my butt and you are just along for the ride. You keep your snide comments to yourself, mister. This is hard enough as it is.

Is this where I stamp my foot and say "Men!" in an utterly disgusted tone of voice? Consider it stamped and said.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 3 months 27 days A. T.

On the humorous side, Mom's publisher decided to update her computer system so it is compatible with what they use at the main office. Really nice lash-up - almost as good as mine overall, but with a much better CPU. Mom is petrified. First of all, she has to learn a new word processor program. Secondly, they also put in an ISDN high speed data line into the house so she can send her stuff to them by modem now, and worse, so they can send markups back to her.

She took one look at the sample "red-lined" galleys they sent her, with the strike-out fonts and everything, and screamed. Scared the heck out of me.

I spent most of the weekend teaching her to use the new software and configuring everything so she has to do as little as possible to get done what she needs to do. The set up is almost bulletproof, now. Whether it is Mom-proof or not is another question. I kinda doubt anything could be, though. We will see.

Wonder where I got my technical genes? My dad, probably. Certainly not from Mom. It also makes me wonder how she pulled off fixing all Jack's records to be Jacqueline. Must have been purely magic. She sure doesn't have the cyber- skills to do it any other way.

Poor Mom. Her first electronically transmitted manuscript is due next week. Guess I better plan to be home that day. Heh heh.

End Journal Entry.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 4 months 2 days A. T.

Two major things happened yesterday. First of all, Bonnie was back for a visit today. Only, Bonnie was me. Or is that, I was Bonnie? Who cares! I pulled off the shape shifting spell all the way today. Hair color and length, skin tone, height, figure, face - the whole thing. Well, almost the whole thing. I forgot to change the hair between my legs. Guess I wasn't a "natural blond". But I could have changed it! Bronwyn was really proud of me. So was Mom.

I think I surprised them, too, because of what I did with my first all-the-way solo spell. They were expecting me to try Jack back on for size, but really, what's the point? What am I going to do - go find a pre-operative transsexual to play with because the plumbing would still be the internal stuff.

The second really big thing is that the big thing finally FIT!!! I got the darn lump of rubber all the way in. AT LAST! It only hurt a little this time, and only at the very beginning. Playing with myself before and after I started to insert the dildo made it a little easier. It doesn't feel as good as making love with Mom and Bronwyn, but it is not a barefoot walk through the Valley of Death, either.

I wonder if there is something I am not doing right. I bet Bronwyn would know. Maybe it is time to ask for help again. Hmmmmm. She is coming over tonight again. Maybe . . .

I have a great idea! End Journal Entry

***************** Her body warm and still glistening from her shower, Bronwyn walked into Laurie's bedroom. Laurie was also nude, and was laying on her tummy, reading. The lovely half moons of her ass beckoned to Bronwyn who fell upon her lover like a starving she-wolf.

A few minutes later, the two women were too deeply involved to notice when Jacqui slipped in the door. That suited Jacqui just fine. It would ruin her surprise if they looked up too soon. Silently, she crept to the bed where the two women lay locked in an exuberant sixty-nine, her Mother on top of Bronwyn with her back to Jacqui. It was perfect, she thought.

Only when the thick rubber organ gently bounced off her forehead did Bronwyn realize that Jacqui had arrived and how she was attired. She made a quick survey of the girl. So what if the adjustment of the harness was not quite perfect - that only meant that the teaser on the base of the dildo would not give Jacqui quite as much of a jolt as it might have. It was the thought and the courage to face her little fears that really counted. Grinning encouragement, Bronwyn slipped down a bit, and used her fingers to gently spread the lips of Laurie's puss.

Jacqui swallowed hard, and then slowly nudged the artificial penis into the mouth of her Mother's sex. Thoroughly aroused, and teased to near madness by Bronwyn's talented tongue, Laurie surged backwards to capture more of whatever Bronwyn was using to fill her.

The cheeks of her bottom made firm contact with flesh as she engulfed the full length. Surprised, she twisted and saw her daughter arching into her and felt her surprisingly strong hands grasp her hips. Gently at first, then gradually picking up in confidence, speed and force, Jacqui began stroking the strap on in and out of her Mother.

The combination of being filled while Bronwyn's tongue danced fire across her loins, shattered Laurie's control and she went momentarily mad. She buried her face in the humid warmth of Bronwyn's sex and alternately feasted on and screamed into her friend. Laurie's triumphant scream of completion tripped Bronwyn over the edge, too. Jacqui tried to ride with her Mother, tried to stay inside her as long as she could, but one particularly vigorous spasm unseated her. Pleased with her part in this, she just stepped back and watched her two favorite people enjoy their pleasures.

When all was again quiet, Jacqui crawled in beside the two women and was immediately enfolded in twin hugs. Bronwyn and Laurie took special care to thank her and to tell her how wonderful it had been for them.

After they'd recovered, Bronwyn asked, "So, Jacqui, it's your turn now. What would you like best?"

Shyly, Jacqui whispered. "Would you do me? With this?" her hand trailed down to the erect toy dangling between her legs. "Like in the book you gave me?" She handed Bronwyn the now half empty tube of lubricant. "I have been practicing." she hastened to add.

"I'd love to, darling." and then, because she saw the touch of fear still hiding in the girl's eyes, she said. "I think we will make it a tie up game, too. That way, you won't wiggle to much."

That brought Jacqui upright! "No.... No, I don't think so, Bronwyn. I don't think I want to do this that way..."

A gentle finger on the lips stilled the flood of refusals. "Same rules as last time, love. You say "red light" and we will stop immediately. I just want to be fully in control for your first time. Remember, just relax and let me do the work." Bronwyn's voice became softly intense. "Just trust me, please?"

"Oh, you know I do." was the immediate reply. "I trust both of you. Okay. Just go slow. I have gotten it all the way in, but I have not had any sexy feelings from it. Other than a very odd "full-feeling"."

Moving their hands to the buckles, the two women began undoing the harness all the while grinning at each other like loons. It was going to be a very auspicious night.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 4 months 3 days A. T.

If I am walking a little funny today, it is completely justified. I was right - I was missing something when I was using the dildo to work on my ass. Another person, or rather other persons, interested in making it wonderful for me. And I can handle being passive.

Once in a while. Maybe once a month. Kind of overwhelming, and just a little frustrating. Nicely frustrating, though.

Jacqui, you are not making a whole lot of sense. The facts, please.

Once Bronwyn had me tied to the bed with the pillows under my hips to make my bottom "a good target", she and Mom forgot about the dildo all together and proceeded to drive me insane.

Once I got a little demanding, so Mom gagged me with Bronwyn's panties. My Mom did that! She said I wasn't going to get my way, anyway, so I might as well be quiet. But she gave me a little ball to drop if I wanted to red light.

I also got more than a few swats across my tush for "not doing what I was told like a good little girl." Passive, hell. Just wait till I get my next turn.

The sneaky darlings used every trick in the book keep me on the ragged edge without letting me tip over for more than an hour. At some point during all that teasing, they started playing with my bottom. I was so far gone, it all just kept feeling good!

When Bronwyn started slipping the dildo into me, all I could think of was why was she going so SLOW. Meanwhile, Mom slipped under me and was driving me crazy with that tongue of hers.

I am surprised that the straps they tied me down with did not snap with they finally let me cum. I was a wild woman.

And they weren't through with me. Seems Mom wanted a turn. Guess what? It was even easier the second time and I came just as hard.

Bronwyn needs a new pair of panties. Seems the pair she had are a little. . . . . chewed.

I can't WAIT for Marcus to come home for Christmas. Maybe I should keep practicing with Mom and Bronwyn, though. Just so I won't forget how to do it.

Marcus. Hmmmmmmmm. You don't think he'd go for it, Jack? Really? I mean, gee, you did not have any complaints once Bronnie got us all heated up and slipped it into our bottom. I mean, boys have bottoms, too, same as girls, right? Well, maybe later on, then. Besides, I don't think Marcus is quite the scaredicat you are, Jack.

Well, I have to get to work. Finals are coming up and I have a big programming project due in each of the computer science courses and a term paper for the para-psych course. I am using the stuff I pulled off the 'Net to write my paper on the Concept of Good and Evil among Wiccans. Waste not, want not.

End Journal Entry.

A Change of Direction Chapter 24

Christmas Break at last, thought Jacqui, as she happily moved toward the bus stop. Marcus was home and she was ready for him. Now, if he'd just pass her teensie little test, she was going to make him a very lucky and very happy young man.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 4 Months 21 days A. T.

I am really ashamed of myself. My little test of Marcus went just as I had dreamed it would and now I feel bad that I ever doubted him in the slightest.

Jealousy is not a productive emotion. I do not like the way it feels.

So, what did I do? I tempted him and I teased him - quite outrageously. In disguise. I used my shape shifting ability to become a red haired sex bomb. Think of a cross between Geena Davis and Pamela Anderson Lee. I thought about doing Scully for sentimental reasons, but in the end, I discarded that idea for all the obvious reasons.

Marcus was waiting for me at the student union at my college here in town. At the last moment, I called and told him I had gotten tied up with my advisor and would be late. Then I showed up in my little disguise and tried to entice him into a little indiscretion.

He was wonderful. Polite, but not encouraging. Friendly, but just a bit distant. I know I was hot - I had almost every guy in the room trying to figure out how to hit on me, but my Marcus just smiled and excused himself to leave.

I felt like a rat. I was very nice to him when I did see him as myself to make it up to him. Even if he did not know who the redhead was.

At first, he was hesitant to make love to my ass. He worried that I was only offering to give him my ass because I felt "guilty" about wanting to keep my virginity. I never appreciated before this how very hard it is for a woman to rape a man, and it is particularly to rape a man using your butt. But I tried. It was pretty funny, actually, and that is what finally did him in. He figured if I could laugh, I was really enjoying it. It took a little doing (and a LOT of grease), but we finally did it.

I showed him the book Bronwyn gave me (no, I did not tell him where I got it. I did not tell him that I'd been practicing, either.) and we spent the afternoon trying out a few positions. I particularly like the one where we are face to face with me on the bottom and my hips are riding up on his thighs a bit. In that position, his pubic bone glides up and down the length of my clit whenever he strokes in and out. Yeeeee haaaaaa!

I also like the book's recommended cleansing ritual after each time we make love that way. The one where I see to it that his penis is properly and thoroughly cleaned? As I think I have said in this journal before, I love teasing him. Amazing what you can do to even a very tired cock with nice soapy hands and a gentle touch.

For all that, I think we will be working on his oral skills for next couple of days. We seem to have overdone, today. Sitting is a constant reminder of today's adventures. And I don't even want to think about having to go to the bathroom.

End Journal Entry

***************** In late January, the two young people bid each other a sad farewell and returned to their respective colleges for the start of their Spring Term studies. Jacqui, however, also had another course of study that was also going to demand her attention, as well.

Bronwyn had left San Bernardino on some type of business trip right after the New Year, but not before she had made the girl a promise. Sensitive to Jacqui's new sexual experience and her heightened self awareness, Bronwyn and Laurie had decided that it was finally time to begin teaching Jacqui the fundamentals of the Transformation Spell. Unfortunately, before they could begin the training, the trip to Texas had come up.

Jacqui was in class that afternoon in early February when Bronwyn had returned to California. Laurie met her at the airport and then drove them both straight back to her house. "How did it go with Bobbie?" Laurie asked the obviously exhausted Bronwyn once they were on the Freeway.

Her head resting against the seat and her eyes closed, Bronwyn responded. "Fine. Roberta and her unborn son are doing well, and are on track for a mid-March birth. I visited her doctor while I was in Austin, and he is pleased with the progress of the pregnancy. As to our other concern, I completed the training her Mother left undone when she died last fall. She is now fully ready to be the parent of a future member of the Sisterhood."

"So she knows the Birth Rites now, and understands their importance?"

"Yes. And she is knows all she needs to know about the Transformation Spell, too. I think she may have figured out the importance of nursing the child, but I did not tell her that. I just made sure she understood how important it is for children of the Sisterhood to be nursed immediately."

"Jacqui will be disappointed you are so tired. I think she has a surprise planned for you."

Bronwyn snorted. "I think it will have to wait until I have slept about five days." The car pulled into the drive and Bronwyn opened her eyes, surprised to be home so soon. "Hey, this is your house."

"Yep. You are bushed, and in need of some serious pampering. Jacqui will see that you get it. If I took you home, you would be up too soon working on your latest suspense novel."

"Its overdue." was Bronwyn's weak protest.

"And a few more days won't make a difference. Now it is your choice. Go to bed on your own, or with a healer's push."

Grumbling, Bronwyn got out of the car. "Since I do want to wake up in a few days, I will do it on my own. You would probably keep me asleep for week."

"I wouldn't, but Jacqui would. She is much more sensitive to you than I am. She's the one who told me you would need rest. I think she is attuned to you, High Priestess."

"Great. Just what I need. An overly-powerful, under- controlled novice with her psychic nose in my business."

"She is pretty great, isn't she?" Laurie gushed maternally.

Bronwyn nodded as she let herself be led up to bed. "Yeah, she is that. Now, if we can just keep her."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 6 months 2 days A. T.

I let Bronwyn wake up yesterday. Afterwards, she spent the rest of the morning sulking. (You did, too, Bronwyn. Just ask Mom). Still, the rest did wonders for her and she is back in fine form.

Today, she and Mom started teaching me the Transformation Spell. Actually, if I understand what they said, they also finished teaching me the Transformation Spell. Which is really strange, considering it took me almost four months to get any knack at all with the shape shifting magic.

I am going to write this all down, and then talk to Bronwyn and Mom from this entry afterwards. That should help me decide if I have gotten this all down.

Essentially, the Transformation Spell is very simple. I can actually cast it right now - on someone else. What I cannot do with it is use it on myself. The reason for that is not a matter of lack of power, but rather, lack of self understanding and lack of control. Rather lowering to realize I don't have either yet, but Bronwyn says that I still need some very specific experiences first. Only then will I be able to turn the magic on myself and not destroy myself in the process.

To start the day's learning, Mom gave me the family records to read. These are the real ones, the ones that document our family's place in the Sisterhood, the birthing of boy children and their subsequent Transformation into women. I found the entries of the two men who died trying to undo what their Mother's had done to them. The one who forced his Mother to attempt the counter spell cost her more than her child. She lost the Gift of the Goddess when he died under her spell. She had been High Priestess of the Sisterhood at the time.

So, what are these "experiences" I need to go through? I don't know that, either - at least, I don't know the specifics of them. There are some things I do know. First of all, there are three of them. And I know a bit about what they are supposed to be. Bronwyn listed them for me. They are, and I think this is the order I will face them in, too,

A special awakening.

A special ordeal.

A special re-birth.

Mom and Bronwyn promised me that I will know, instinctively, when I have met all three requirements. It is just that they cannot tell me what any of the tests are before hand or the magic will not work for me. I have given my word not to turn the Transformation Spell upon myself without that mental "go- ahead".

I guess the time for these experiences must be close at hand, though. They would not be teaching me this now, otherwise. One thing about Bronwyn, she does nothing without a reason. As much as I love that sexy lady, she can be one cold, calculating woman when she thinks something is important.

End Journal Entry.

***************** "She wrote out just about the entire lesson word for word in her journal, Laurel. I cannot get over the powers of recall and intuition she has developed."

"I know what you mean. Has she given any indication that she knows what the three experiences really entail?"

"No, but I am not sure if that is because she has not speculated on what they are, or if she has an idea and does not want to face the thought of what they entail. Conception of a child is the awakening, the trauma of giving birth is the ordeal, and giving suckle to a child of her own body is the re-birth." She smiled at her friend. "We never figured it out until afterwards, did we?" her tone was meant to encourage.

"We never did a lot of the things she has done since Transformation. Goddess, Bronwyn, if she had gotten pregnant last summer, she'd be coming into her full power now. In only eighteen months! That is incredibly fast. I can't find any record of anyone being faster."

"You think she might figure the riddle out?" Bronwyn was concerned.

"I don't know, Bronwyn. She may be trying not to think about it because we told her it might interfere with the magic, but you have seen how strong her intuition has gotten. I think it is very possible she may unwittingly solve it without even realizing it."

"Yes, she is that bright, isn't she? Damn! Well, there is only one thing we can do now if we are going to keep our word to her. I will remove all of my inhibition spells from Marcus. In fact, I am going to give him a bit of nudge so that he thoroughly ravishes her next month when he is home on break."

Thoughtfully, Laurie nodded. She no longer believed her daughter would harm a child of her own body as she had threatened to do all those many months ago. Hadn't she said as much in her journal a few months back? "Make sure he is wonderful for her, Bronwyn. It should be wonderful for a girl her first time. Please?"

A feline smile lit Bronwyn's face. "Oh, he will be superb, darling. I guarantee it. He will drive her make her crazy and make her love every second of it. My word on it, darling. You have my word on it. So be it." she said in the oath of her order.

"So be it." repeated Laurie, her voice choking with emotion at what they had just ordained for Jacqui.

*********************** Lancaster read the copy of the doctor's report on the status of the Lawler-bitch's pregnancy. It pleased him. All was normal and she would deliver in the next week to two weeks. His Investigations Chief had been particularly thorough with this one. Members of the Brotherhood now worked at the hospital she would be taken to for the birth. They would alert the action team and help them stage themselves for the abduction. Soon, he thought. Very soon and I will understand something that is key to the survival of the Sisterhood. When I understand that, I can take action against it, hopefully crippling that weak gaggle of weakling men-made-women. All he had to do was wait patiently a while longer and he would learn what he needed to know to destroy the Sisterhood once and for all time. Anticipation had a lovely taste. he thought, especially the anticipation of blood.

~----------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 25

The phone in Laurie's bedroom rang. Fumbling in the dark, she reached over to answer it. An excited voice stumbled over the words, and had to repeat them twice. Whoever it was, wanted to speak to Bronwyn - immediately. She shook her lover awake and handed over the receiver before padding off to the bathroom.

When she returned, the bedroom was ablaze with light, and a tear-stricken Bronwyn was furiously pulling on her clothes. "Bronwyn, what is the matter?" Laurie asked moving to her friend's side.

"It's Bobbie." she sobbed, dashing away a tear. "She had the child tonight, but no sooner had they taken the child from the birth canal, then armed men stormed the birthing room. The nurse midwife and the attending doctor were killed. The baby and Bobbie have disappeared. I am leaving on the next flight to Austin to help the Sisters search."

"Do...do we know if the rites were performed?" Laurie asked.

"No, but it would seem that they weren't. An intern watching on closed circuit television told the first Sister on the scene that the men took the child from the midwife's hands before she had even straightened up from catching him."

A cold chill ran down Laurie's spine. "That sounds terribly like whoever did this was trying to prevent the Birth Rites. That means it is probably the Brotherhood behind this."

Grimly, Bronwyn nodded. "I agree. That is why I want you to alert the Sisterhood. I want a search team in Austin as soon as we can possibly get them there. And I want you to be standing by to come if we need . . . if we need a healer." Laurie nodded and helped Bronwyn into her jacket. "I will call as soon as I know anything. Take care of Jacqui, luv."

And with that, she was out the door. Alone and afraid, Laurie stood there in the center of the room, at a loss about what to do next. Then she knew. Getting her robe, she went out of her room and down the hall to Jacqui's room where she crawled into bed beside her child. Someone she knew may well have lost a child this night. May the Goddess have mercy on anyone who tried to take or to harm her child. Laurel Donovan, gentle healer and high adept of the peace loving Sisterhood, would have none.

********************** Lancaster was well pleased with this evening's work. The woman and the child had been kept separate since their capture. Gloating, he examined the small woman more closely. She had some Asian blood in her with those small bones and that long, straight, black hair. Contemptuously, he asked himself how anyone could think that this puny female, this un- manned creature, could possibly be someone that he, the High Leader of the Brotherhood, First in the Power of the Dark One, should have to fear? It was laughable.

The child chose that moment to awaken and to announce that fact loudly in the way of all newborns. Not accustomed to children, the noise angered Lancaster who reacted as he always did when upset. He struck out at the nearest being to him. His back hand brought Roberta out of the half conscious state she had been in since the birth of her child.

Dazed, she looked up at Lancaster's furious face. "Shut that child up, woman. Now!" He was bellowing.

"He's hungry." She said in a thready whisper. "He won't stop until he's been fed."

The noise was more than the Lancaster could stand. Without thinking, he snatched the bawling child up and nearly threw him at the woman. "Then FEED him."

Roberta did not expect to survive this, but she feared her child might. Quickly, she bared her breast and put the child to her nipple, all the while mumbling the words of the Birth Rites that been taught to her by the High Priestess. She had just completed the silently spoken spell when her child found and clamped onto her puckered nipple. As he began to suck furiously at her, she felt something start to build inside her. It grew and became stronger, until it was like her nipple was connected to an electrical circuit.

And then, she knew it all. The full power of the Transformation Spell was now hers to command. Holding her child tightly against her breast, she sang the song of power, felt the power come to her, felt it enfold her, and finally, felt it change her.

The men in the room saw it, too. Suddenly, the tiny woman was over seven feet tall and still growing. Huge muscles bulged on her limbs, and hard shell-like armor seemed to appear about her body. The first of the Brothers to recover hurled himself at her and was flung aside like a doll, crumpling against the wall. A melee ensued, with the Brothers trying to subdue the huge monster-woman, but their weapons, bodies and powers were unequal to the task. Grimly, Roberta started moving toward the door and freedom, determined to escape this place and to warn her Sisters.

Lancaster had stood apart during the free-for-all, partly because he was furious with himself for having been the one to give the child to the woman, and partly to ascertain the full extent of the woman's power. His inaction ended when he saw her make a break for the door. With great deliberation, he raised both of his hands above his head. His lips moved, making soundless words in a language known only to the followers of the Dark One. The raised hands turned black and began to shimmer and pulse with a strange glow that heralded the total absence of light rather than its presence. The glow coalesced into a writhing mass that was contained between his two hands for just a moment, and then it reached out to the fleeing Transformed Sister and her child.

The instant the lightlessness touched her, Roberta screamed in hellish agony. The dark hole enveloped her, surrounded her and blotted her from the view of those Brothers still awake to see it. Suddenly, the screams stopped, and Lancaster lowered his hands. Without his will to hold it contained, the lightlessness gave way to light and revealed the bodies of a dead woman and a dead child. Interestingly to Lancaster, the spell that had changed the woman into that amazon monster had not died with her.

It was too bad she had died before he could have learned everything he wanted to know, and even worse that the child had died. Still, he had learned something tonight. Whatever had happened to the woman, it had happened to her after she had begun feeding the brat. Was that some type of rite of passage for these women who had once been men? Did they only come into their full power after suckling their infant? That had to be it, thought Lancaster triumphantly. Now he had them. Now he could turn their very rites against them. He, Lancaster, had the means to finally destroy the Sisterhood. He looked at the injured men he'd brought with him. All alive, he thought. She could not even kill to protect her whelp. How hopelessly weak they are. "Dispose of the bodies in the acid tank. I want nothing left of them." he ordered his Investigations Chief as he strode to the door. This called for a drink.

~-------~

"She's gone, Laurie. I felt her die. She's dead and her child with her." came the sobbing voice on the other end of the phone line.

"You are sure? There is no doubt?"

She heard Bronwyn blow her nose and take a deep cleansing breath. "We don't have the bodies, if that's what you mean, but I felt her use the Transformation Spell, Laurie." Another deep breath. "And I felt the Dark Power take her. She died at the hands of a member of the Brotherhood, Laurie. An incredibly powerful member, perhaps even the High Leader, himself."

"Then we are at war, High Priestess. What are your immediate plans?"

"I am coming home, luv. I need to rest and to think. We don't even know who he is, yet, so we don't know how to attack him. He is way ahead of us, now, and moving too quickly will hurt us more than help us. I will see you in a few hours. May I stay with you tonight?"

"Just you try to stay any place else, lover, and all hell will break loose. Now get off the phone and get on home to people who love you."

Laurie hung up the phone, and wished that her daughter was home where she could protect her and keep her safe. If there was such a thing as safety, anymore.

******************* Lancaster relaxed, sipping the aged cognac and reviewing the night's revelations one more time. The woman had come into her power after she'd given birth and after she'd nursed the child. The key, then, was to prevent the child from suckling his mother, but that was not a problem. Lancaster smiled. A dead woman cannot nurse a child. As if he, the High Leader, would let one of those bitches feed his son. What a coup, he mused. The next High Leader of the Brotherhood, the son of the current High Leader and one of the damnable Sisters. A child born of the power of their Goddess and of his Dark One; a child in whom the ages-old schism between the power of light and the power of darkness would be breached.

A child that would be his son and who would serve the Brotherhood, while destroying the Sisterhood.

All he needed was a Sister to plant his seed in; a Sister who had not yet given birth and thus, had not yet come into the fullness of her powers. A powerless Sister who would not be a threat to him. How he'd make her suffer. He would give her the full benefit of her new female state by forcing her to experience, completely unaided by any modern medical convenience, natural child birth before he killed her. After all, he could always take the child if he needed to since she was not going to survive more than a few moments after the child's birth, anyway. It would be so . . . .sublime.

Fortunately, he knew exactly where to find such a member of the cursed Sisterhood. Her college advisor still reported weekly to his Chief of Investigations about her activities and whereabouts. He'd increase the surveillance on her again, all the same. She was too important a piece of the puzzle to be careless with. All he needed was a little more time to finish his final preparations. He was almost ready. Soon, very soon, he would strike and take what was rightfully his.

~----------~

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 8 Months 21 days A. T.

The death of Mom's and Bronwyn's friend, Bobbie in childbirth has cast quite a pall about the house. The baby died, too, so it is just a bad thing all around. I did not know her, but Mum and Bronwyn liked her, so she must have been good people. I suspect she was a member of their Sisterhood, but I have not asked and they had not volunteered the information.

It has reminded me, quite forcefully, however, of my own mortality and my newfound femininity. Women still die in childbirth. I am a woman. Those two facts, taken in combination, are rather daunting.

I am a woman. I can get pregnant.

I look at those two sentences I just wrote, and I get chills. They actually have the power to frighten me. They also are beginning to intrigue me.

On a not unrelated topic, Marcus arrives home today from his college up north to begin his mid-semester break. We won't have much time together since his folks are expecting him at their mountain cabin in the Sierras. It is some kind of family shindig that everyone goes to every year. He is going to drive up there tomorrow, but first, he is going to spend the day and the night with me.

Mom and Bronwyn are going to be out of town until tomorrow about noon. Which, oh by the way, is when Marcus has to leave. So I went and started planning our little get together for here. I cannot wait to get him into Mom's HUGE bathtub all filled with bubbles and hot water.

Now for the strange part. This morning, Mom calls me in and tells me that she knows what I am planning, and that she approves of Marcus. Not only that, but that she wants us to feel "safe" when we do "whatever it is that you are going to do". She gave me a box of condoms. Condoms for goodness sake. This is my MOTHER and she is giving me condoms?? I was afraid to say the word in her presence when I was still Jack.

Guess I have her blessing to go all the way. Amazing. And I have been so very careful these past weeks with my birth control pills. Well, better doubly safe than sorry, I guess. I did promise to use the condoms.

I wonder if it as wonderful as those romance novels say it is? Guess I am going to find out. That's all for now. I have to go pick up Marcus at the airport.

End Journal Entry

**************** In a hotel room overlooking the ocean, Bronwyn took a sip of her wine and then turned to look at her preoccupied friend. Shaking her head in exasperation, she snorted. "It was going to happen anyway, Laurel. All we did was make it more comfortable for them, and make sure they had the time to do it properly." And cast a few spells on young Marcus to make sure he would do it well, often and potently.

Smiling wanly at herself, Laurie sighed. "I know. We all do it for the first time once in our lives. And we had to get the first step of the final experience learning done, too."

That reminded Bronwyn. "So, why did you give her those condoms? I thought the whole idea was to get her preggers, not increase the difficulty for those little wigglers of Mark's."

That did make Laurie smile - a very self satisfied, conspiratorial smile. "I did it to make sure she or Marcus were completely uninhibited. You know as well as I do that no birth control will protect a Sister who, at the critical moment, wants the baby of the man making love to her. The power of her desire will cause the condom to leak or break. Just like the birth control pills will also fail." Laurel grinned mischievously. "Ever stop to wonder how many of those mothers who fall into that 10% failure rate attributed to modern birth control tools are Sisters? No, I think we surmise that our Jacqui is now primed - prospective motherhood on the hoof. Especially since I am sure," and here her voice became saccharine sweet, "that you have probably ensured that Marcus is a human sperm factory for the next day or so?"

Bronwyn blushed a bit, then grinned a bit. "Well, I might have given production a little help. Guess she's gonna be a Mom, eh?"

"Yes, she is. Goddess, but I am too young to be a grandmother." Laurie wailed.

"Ah, love," soothed Bronwyn as she came over to cuddle her friend on the bed, "but you will be so good at it." And then proceeded to distract her friend, lovingly.

**************** The feelings that Jacqui was dealing with as she stood in the airline terminal awaiting Marcus were just as mixed as her Mother's were. On one hand, she missed him terribly and wanted to be with him all the time. On the other hand, his attentions reminded her of what she had lost when she had been Transformed. Jack had never gotten to as close to a girl as she was permitting Marcus to get to her.

He was going to get very close, today, too. All the way, and where nature expected him to be when he made love to a woman. Even with the double barreled birth control she was planning to use, it still felt like playing Russian Roulette, except that instead of putting a loaded gun to her head, she was aiming a loaded penis at her uterus and ovaries.

She'd reminded herself of all the potential dangers of this decision over and over again. Especially since the girl in Austin had died, but in the end, it made no difference. She was going to make love with Marcus because she needed to make love with him. She still had not quite figured out why that was such an imperative, but she had finally accepted that it was. She simply had no other choice in the matter.

A moving mass of humanity approached the main terminal from the arrival gate. A shout that sounded like her name got her attention and Jacqui turned toward the voice. It was Marcus. Suddenly, she was running toward him and ended up jumping into his arms. The moment his arms closed around her and his lips met hers were a revelation. Everything became clear.

Jacqui Donovan loved Marcus Arnold. Jacqui Donovan was in love with Marcus Arnold.

The truth of it all scared the hell out of her, and she did what frightened women have done since cave days. She held on tighter to the man she loved. "Oh shit" she thought amid the wild whirl of emotions swirling through her, "What am I going to do, now???" Marcus ended even that limited thinking by kissing her again.

Somehow, they made it to the house without having an accident or being stopped for speeding. They were barely through the door before they were tearing at each other's clothes, trying to get skin to skin. Marcus was ready to consummate their passion right there on the floor when the memory of Bobbie gave Jacqui a moment of rational thought. Scrambling to her discarded purse, she found the box her Mother had given her and returned with the plastic packet. She tore it open, and then reverently and lovingly smoothed the condom over her lover's erection, making him groan in painful, delighted anticipation. Then, she went back into his arms, and they made love on the living room rug.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 8 Months 22 days A. T.

The words to an old rock and roll song that Mom loves keeps playing in my mind.

"This girl is a woman, now. She's found out what its all about and she's learnin'... learnin' to live....."

Who sang that thing...Plunket? No, he was a quarterback. Oh yeah...the name was Puckett - Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. What a weird name for a rock group. Only in my case, maybe the song should go "This boy is a woman, now..".

Hey, Bronwyn. I just made a joke about it. How about that?

It is strange, though, while he was inside me? All I could think of was that if I was going to have a baby, I would want it to be his. When he nuzzled my breast and suckled my nipple, an image of his child sucking there was flashed across my mind's eye.

Cripes, what is with me? These female hormones are really getting out of hand, here. Still . . . A baby. Hmmmmmmm.

And I even managed to be submissively passive for him.

Once.

Sort of. But it was damned hard!!!

Anyway, Marcus just left in a cab. He is going to his house to pick up a few things and to get his car. I wanted to drive him, but he said he wanted the last thing he remembers of this wonderful day and night is me, lying naked and tousled on Mum's rumpled bed. What woman could resist a request like that? How could any man resist the appeal I made to him when he walked out that door???

Maybe he could resist my somewhat blatant offer because of all the times we did it in the past eighteen hours. Good thing Mom gave me a full dozen of those things. We almost needed most of them. And it is wonderful like those romance novels Mom made me read said it could be. Marcus is very, very good at it, and he listens to me while we are making love, so he is always doing something that feels good.

I miss him already.

Well, he is going to come back before returning to school. I will need more condoms. I'll get some more today. It will make me feel like a loose woman. Then I am going to take a nap. I have not had much sleep in the past few hours.

End Journal Entry.

********************** The Chief of Investigations demanded to see the High Leader. He was so frightened, he did not bother to worry about hurting the feelings of the toad who guarded the High Leader's office. After being shown in, he moved quickly to the large desk and began without waiting to be given leave to speak. "High Leader, you ordered that you be informed immediately if something came to light with regard to the woman you have selected as the Mother of your Son." He handed the Leader a packet of surveillance photographs.

"The young male is Marcus Arnold. He is the young man that she dated towards the end of her high school senior year. He attends college up in Oregon or Washington. We have not had him under surveillance since he has not had prior contact with the girl since you ordered her watched again."

"Until now." growled the High Leader as he shuffled through the packet of photos.

"Until now," agreed the Chief. "Yesterday, she met him at the airport where they kissed quite passionately before returning to the girl's house. There was no sign of either of them until noon today when the male left by taxi. I ordered a surveillance team on him and they are now following him. The girl left the house shortly after that and went to a nearby drug store where she purchased two large boxes of condoms."

All color drained from Lancaster's face. "What did you say?" he growled in whispered tones.

"Condoms, High Leader. She purchased condoms." The Chief was fighting to maintain his dignity and professionalism, but it was damned hard when he knew his next word could be his last. Lancaster was killing furious, now. "She made the purchase and returned to her home. She has not left since, although her Mother and Llewellyn have returned from the hotel they stayed at last night."

"She is going to fuck that boy???" Lancaster roared. "She is the Chosen One. The Mother of my Son, and she is going to give herself to a boy???" Lancaster's fist smashed into the desk top. His eyes burned with anger tinged with madness. The Chief silently steeled himself for the killing blow he felt sure was coming. The only reason he had delivered the report himself was in the hope that the High Leader would kill him out of hand, in a fit of fury. The alternative was to die as his predecessor had, slowly and in great pain. However, Lancaster seemed to regain control of himself. Slowly, with great deliberation, he reseated himself at his desk and brought his hands together to clasp them on the desktop. "I won't have it, Chief." he said soberly. "Where is the boy, now?"

"Our followers reported in just before I came in here, sir. He is heading into the mountains. Evidently his family has a large vacation home up in the high country."

"He does not arrive at his destination, Chief. Have the followers arrange an accident - a fatal accident. I want him dead within the hour or you and the followers will die sometime next month. Do you understand me?" The eyes were cold now, but it was a mad cold.

The Chief lost control of his bladder and wet his pants. "Ye. . ye . .yessir. I understand. It will be as you say, sir." and he ran from the room without being given leave to depart.

~-----------~

******************* Jacqui stretched in her bed. She felt marvelous. Even the twinges in her belly, where muscles she never knew she had and Jack never did have, ached from the unusual exercise of the day before.

Idly, she replayed the lovemaking in her mind. It had been so great. Whether it could have been so good for her as Jack, she did not know, but it no longer seemed to matter. She loved Marcus. Marcus loved Jacqui. She would be a fool to give that up for a penis in a poke.

Jacqui Donovan was not any kind of a fool.

The key question in her mind now was how to break the news that she was a witch to her chosen male. She had a really neat idea, too. Bronwyn had said she could use the shape shifting spell on others as well as on herself. As long as they were close by, anyway. Well, Marcus would be very close when she played her prank.

She wondered how he'd react when he woke up after one of their love making sessions and found himself looking like Jacqui and lying next to a body that looked like Marcus? He'd freak, she thought happily. But, then he'd see the male genitals on "Jacqui" and the female genitals on "Marcus". It would be awkward, but Jacqui figured they'd make it work, somehow.

"Jacqui?" Her mother was calling from downstairs. "You have a phone call. It is Mrs. Arnold."

Getting up, she padded to her door. "I'll take it in your room, Mum." she called down.

Laurie went back to her library to work on the logistics plan she was developing for the Sisterhood. With the Brotherhood was becoming so open in their attacks, they would need supplies and safe houses in the coming months. She had just begun to analyze the next set of requirements when Jacqui's scream of anguish tore through her.

She was up the stairs and at Jacqui's side in seconds. Jacqui flew to her Mother and nearly strangled her with her embrace. "He's dead, Mum. Oh sweet lord, Marcus is dead."

Stunned, Laurie simply held her daughter for long moments before she could even ask. "Marcus is dead? How, child?"

Jacqui fought for control and eased her death grip on her Mother. "His... his brakes failed. Up in the mountains near his parents' cottage. He could not control the car on one of the bends in the road. He crashed into a rail guard which broke and the car dropped into a canyon."

"Goddess." Laurie whispered. The man who had taken her daughter's virginity, and who, according to Laurie's healer senses, was the father of her grandson. Jacqui had gotten pregnant. She would not know it herself for a few weeks, but Laurie knew, and she would have to make sure her daughter did not lose that child in her grief.

Maternally bullying the girl into bed, Laurie made her a special tea that would calm her without harming the tiny fetus. It worked quickly, and Jacqui started to doze. "You know what hurts so much, Mum? I was thinking of marriage when the call came. I was dreaming of how I would tell him about......about the magic. I was going to shift our shapes into images of each other while he slept, and then make fantastic love to him before he could freak out on me. Now, he's gone." She was quiet for a moment. "Now, he's gone." was the last thing she said before drifting into sleep.

Laurie went into her room to get her cordless phone. She made a quick call to Bronwyn, and then took the phone into Jacqui's room and settled in a chair to watch over her daughter.

*********************** "It is done, High Leader, as you ordered." the Chief was back in Lancaster's office. He had not even taken the time to change is urine stained trousers. "They used the Dark Power to sever his brake line and to accelerate the draining of the hydraulic fluid. The brakes failed on a particularly steep part of the road and he could not slow enough to control the car."

The High Leader said nothing, but stared pointedly at the large circular stain near the Chief's fly, a smile playing on his lips. Then he spoke. "Very well. Now, I want the preparations for taking the girl accelerated. I don't want her meeting another boy and using him to assuage her female lusts. When will the sanctuary be ready?"

"We can have everything ready to hold her indefinitely in a few weeks. The only reason we can't have it in two weeks time is the security system. You ordered the best one available, and the supplier cannot install for another three weeks. We are already paying premiums to have them that early."

Lancaster nodded. He wanted the girl, but he wanted to keep the girl. He would wait for the sanctuary to be fully ready. "Keep an eye on her. Don't let her get close to any other males. Now get out here and change those pants. You foul my air."

The humiliation in the man's face was a delight to Lancaster. Grinning, he admitted that fear was not the only emotion he enjoyed invoking in others.

~--------------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 26

Jacqui awoke slowly. Her eyes did not want to open. Something sticky was pulling at her lashes. Then she remembered why there was the residue of dried tears gluing her eyes closed.

Marcus. Her Marcus was dead.

The tears started afresh as she lay in her bed where less than forty eight hours before, she had joyfully given up her virginity. And now, the man she had wanted, loved and needed badly enough to make him the recipient of that gift was dead.

A miasma of seemingly unrelated and totally illogical emotions swirled about inside her. Love, despair, hope, loss, a sense of things being right and a sense of things being wrong. And a sense of something else. Something dark. Something very dangerous.

It was all so confusing. How could she feel hope just now, or that underpinning of hope? Marcus was dead. And yet, that is what she felt. One thing she had come to accept over the 21 months of being a woman was that what she felt or sensed did not necessarily make rational sense when analyzed critically. Still, Jacqui had learned not to discount such intangible insights anymore. The changes in her chess play and her divination of her Mother's intent to commit suicide were proof that those feelings were important and that they meant . . . something. No, there was something going on. Several things, in fact, if each of those impressions meant something different. The strongest feeling was that the danger was not over, but even then, the hope would not go away.

Jacqui needed help. She was still new enough to this intuition sense of hers that she did not know how to interpret so much contradictory input. She needed her Mother. Rising, she quickly dressed and then slipped out of her room. Moving quietly down the stairs, her attention was drawn to the sound of voices in her Mother's library. Bronwyn was here talking to her Mother. So much the better, she thought grimly.

She stopped just outside the door, attempting to gather herself before facing them. She did not want to break down again before she had gotten out what it was she wanted to say. Laurie was seated at her desk, but with chair spun away from the state of the art computer so she could face Bronwyn. Jacqui had to smile. Her mother might own the best computer money could bye, she might have high speed data lines installed in the house, but she hated the things with a passion. The computer served as a word processor for her Mother's writing and as a means to communicate with her editors.

At least, Jacqui thought that was all she did with it. Although, with all that capability, it was also an ideal tool to deal with fixing records and things like that. At least, that is how Jacqui would do it. Still, that would require very sophisticated computer skills. Had her Mother been pretending to be so computer illiterate when that new machine had arrived? If not, then the Sisterhood must have someone inside the group who saw to the record keeping and record changing. Unless they did it by magic.

"It is just too much too soon to be coincidence, Laurel. First Roberta and now Jacqui through Marcus." Bronwyn's voice broke into Jacqui's musings. "Two novice members of the Sisterhood attacked mere weeks apart. The report from our Sister on the investigating team said that she sensed the remnants of power in the failed brake line. Nothing that ordinary police methods would uncover or even recognize, but this woman is a sensitive. She says it was the Dark Power that did it, not routine wear and tear."

THAT got Jacqui's attention. Roberta's death and Marc's death had not been natural or accidental? Quietly, she crept back from the door and listened. She concentrated on opening her mind as Bronwyn had been trying to teach her to do, tried to focus that strange intuitive sense she still did not fully understand, but now fully accepted.

"Which marches with what Mrs. Arnold said to Jacqui. The car had only recently been in for maintenance and inspection. No problems noted with the brakes."

"The only problem is how would anyone know to attack either of them. There are no records which point to them being Sisters. Very few even know that we exist. How could anyone know to attack them?" Bronwyn was frustrated. "What could possibly point them out as members of the Sisterhood?"

A mental image of Laurie by the computer flared momentarily in Jacqui's mind again. That was it. Somehow, Jacqui was absolutely sure of it. Her Mother was every bit as inept as she seemed. Laurie did everything by rote on a computer. She even resisted getting upgrades to software because she hated having to learn new things on the machine.

The idea crystalized and became firm in her mind. Jacqui moved out of the shadows and into the library. "How good are your record changing methods?" came a soft voice behind them. They turned to see a wan and tired Jacqui standing in the Laurie's library door. Slowly, she moved into the room and took a chair.

"Hello, darling." Laurie said gently. "What do you mean, how good are our methods?"

"How complete are the record changes you make when you Transform someone? How far reaching are the changes? What kind of checks do you make to ensure there are not any remaining records of the male identity?"

Bronwyn shrugged. "Where ever we are living at the time, we make sure that no official agency has any records that show the male identity. Schools, credit cards, banks, licenses, social security and the like. It is not all that hard to do." she said complacently.

"That's all?" was Jacqui's disbelieving rejoinder. "That is really all you do? Just local stuff and basic government records?" There was no longer even a hint of doubt in Jacqui's mind. This was the problem. If she had been a cat, her fur would have been standing on end.

Confused by the tinge of contempt in Jacqui's tones, Bronwyn answered "Well, yes. It is all we have ever needed to do. Why, Jacqui? What is wrong?"

Shaking her head, Jacqui looked up. "Everything, Bronwyn. This is the Information Age. Everybody knows everything about everybody. Or at least, they can. Information is contained around the country in multiply redundant systems so that the failure of one does not cause the loss of some vital information. Some of those systems update automatically, some have to ordered to update. You with me so far?" Still uncertain where this was leading, Bronwyn nodded. "Okay, what I am proposing would take a huge amount of computing power, but it is not impossible. Suppose you were looking for a male to female Transformee. If you could keep your records intact, all you would have to do is constantly compare your records with someone else's records - like the old Draft Board or Social Security. So, if some number's gender changes, you have a possible Sister." Jacqui turned to his Mother. "My driver's license and my Social Security Number did not change when you gave me my new ID's, Mum. If all you did was change it in the main computer, and did not do some type of all out Internet-wide search, then it is a good bet that somewhere out there is still records of John Donovan."

The two older women looked stunned. Then another thought hit Jacqui. "And that only assumes no one is looking. If some one is looking, he would mirror key databases, and then lock his own system down so he could search off line, too."

Laurie was the first to speak. "You are serious about this, Jacqui? This is possible?"

"Mum, how do you think I got the data on Wicca? If you have not changed every computer in the country, the information is probably still out there and available." Jacqui stood and went over to her Mother's computer, and logged on to her Mother's account. She did not use her own since her Mother's had the login script already set. Once online, she set up a quick web search looking for clues to "John David Donovan."

Grim-faced, Bronwyn watched as the screen scrolled. As she had been those months ago when Bonnie had watched Jacqui worked, she was awed and frightened at this power she did not completely understand. The computer chimed several times, locating information on other "John David Donovan"s before a fateful "ding" heralded the discovery of their John David Donovan. Almost amused, Jacqui said. "I'd all but forgotten about that one. My interest in them disappeared along with the collection of classic comic books Mom sent away the day of my Transformation." The record was in the computer of a comic book locator group, whose mission was to find and sell collector comic books. "Anyway, you can see what I mean. And that did not take all that long."

Bronwyn turned to Laurie. "That means that practically every Sister is at risk." She said, her voice quavering.

"I'd say the newest of us are at the most risk." Jacqui said distractedly. "Those who were Transformed before the early 1980's and the wide spread proliferation of small computers are probably fairly safe."

Both women noted the use of the word "us" with surprise, but said nothing about that. "Then I will start by warning those members to take special precautions, before I alert the rest of the Sisterhood. After that, we have to find out who is doing this and how."

"Easier said than done, Bronwyn. As I said, the whole thing can be done offline. You are going to have to hope they've made a mistake if I am going to find them."

"You?" her eyebrow cocked in surprise. "If you are going to find them?"

For the first time she'd been told of her lover's death, a real smile flitted across Jacqui's face. "It's not like either of you have any hope of finding anything. Now, the two of you, get out of here and let me work."

"But it is my office and my computer." wailed a protesting Laurie.

"My modem is broken. I will use your account for the search until I can get another one hooked up."

"Oh, go ahead. It is not like I use the thing all that much anyway. I just wish my publisher would still let me send in typed sheets instead of demanding I transmit my stuff to them by modem." Laurie fumed.

"Me, too." Bronwyn added with a chuckle. "Wouldn't even have one of the things, otherwise. Come on, Laurel. We have some friends to call, and we need to do it from a secure place." And with that, the two women left.

When they returned, they found Laurie's usually neat and pristine library littered with paper. Before she could start her scold, Jacqui started on them. "Roberta Lawler's cover was completely transparent. I have found innumerable references to Robert Lawler, complete with social security number, scattered all across the 'Net. Whoever set up her new identity did a lousy job. I am convinced this is how she got blown."

Laurie spoke first. "And what does that say about you and Marcus?"

"I don't know, Mum. I tried, but I can't find the same preponderance of evidence on me. They may have just gotten lucky, or they may have started working off line between the time they caught on to Bobbie and when I was Transformed."

"So, we have a leak." said Bronwyn.

"More like a gaping hole, Bronwyn. If you are going to keep up the Sisterhood by Transforming men in this society, you better start working on computer security and counter security. You simply are not protecting the Transformee's against the threat posed by the Internet."

"But we don't know anything about that stuff." wailed Laurie.

Jacqui's voice was deathly cold. "I do. And I am going to know a lot more. Who ever is behind this killed the man I loved. I am going to do whatever I can to bring him down, and to prevent him from killing any more people that I, or those I love, care about."

Stunned by her turnabout, both women looked at each other before turning back to Jacqui. "Does. . ." Laurie's voice broke. "Does this mean you have changed your mind about changing back to Jack?"

Jacqui shrugged. "I had, before Marcus was killed. I wasn't going to give up what we could have had together. Love is too important. I've learned that much in the last 21 months. Now, I don't know, Mum. Maybe if I was Jack again, his dying like that would not hurt so much. I just don't know what I am going to do, except that I am going to help you find the ones who did it to him. After that, I just don't know."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 9 Months 17 days A. T.

I am now officially overdue for the first time in my admittedly short female life. I also have morning sickness, except that I have it at midnight. My healer talents, which don't normally work on me, can sense other life. And inside me, there is another life.

Oh Goddess. I am pregnant. Through birth control pills that I took religiously, and condoms that I personally put on him and tested, I am somehow pregnant. The man I loved left me a gift when he left me to die. His son.

Oh Goddess, I barely know how to be a woman. How in the name of all that is holy am I going to be a Mother?

Think of something else, Jacqui. Emotions like that are not good for the baby.

Bronwyn has been teaching me to "think" to her with my mind. It has been handy to be able to "talk" to her as I've been searching the Net for signs of Sisters who are vulnerable. So far, about six in the hundred or so I have researched have needed fixes. A couple needed complete changes of identity. But I am still no closer to finding the animal behind this. I don't know whether Bronwyn or Mom are. When I ask, I am politely told that what they are doing is "Sisterhood business" and not for the ears of "novices".

Makes me so mad I just want to spit.

Don't really need one, but I guess I will pick up one of those home pregnancy test kits after school today. Professor Stevens dropped me an email. Seems he wants to talk to me this afternoon about my schedule for next fall. Good thing I was ahead on all my work before this all happened. I still got everything in on time and good grades.

I will need good grades, too. I am going to help the Sisterhood protect themselves in the 21st Century. Their collective computer smarts are nearly non-existent - limited to word processing if they have any at all. And that is something I can do as Jack or Jacqui.

Jack could raise Marcus' child, couldn't he? Why doesn't Jack talk to me anymore? I can't remember the last time he needled me. When did he stop?

I have to go or I will be late for school.

End Journal Entry.

********************* "Is everything ready?" Lancaster asked with deliberate insult in his voice.

"Yes, High Leader." came the response from the Chief. "The sanctuary is fully operational and the professor has arranged for her to be in his office later today. We will take her at the parking lot she uses after she sees the professor."

"Contingency plans?"

"Three action teams involved to provide covering fire for the getaway, and three different vehicle changes available if needed en route to the sanctuary."

"I don't need to tell you not to fail." It was not a question.

"No, High Leader, because we will not fail." was the expected, rote answer.

"Very well, Chief. Go get the Mother of my Son for me, then."

As the Chief left his office, Lancaster looked down at the dossier the Chief had given him. The slut was attractive, he thought. It would not be hard, filling her belly with his seed. It might even be pleasurable. And even if was not, he spent the past months stockpiling his semen for this very purpose. He would enjoy watching the slut grow fat with his son. Sadly, she would not live long enough afterwards for him to fully relish his victory. He could not chance her coming into her full power after getting to know him as well as she would have to know him.

~-------------~

************************ Jacqui was furious as she stormed across campus toward her parking lot. The paper Professor Stevens wanted her to sign was one he'd already had her sign weeks ago. She had waited on campus three hours after her last class for that meeting, which the Professor himself was forty five minutes late for, and it had been for nothing. She could have been continuing her search for blown covers on the Internet for the past three hours.

Grimfaced, she stomped up to her car and was inserting the key in the lock with something grabbed her shoulder. Before she could react, a sharp sting bit into her left buttock. The world went black before she could even straighten up to turn around.

***************** "Any casualties?" barked Lancaster.

"None, High Leader. The capture was unobserved. We escaped without detection."

"Are you sure of that, or is that merely an assumption on your part."

The Chief answered. "It is a fact, Sir, but we took precautions, none the less. We made three vehicle changes and had two different counter surveillance cars on each leg of the trip here. We were not followed."

"Excellent work, Chief. How long will she be out?"

"Another three to five hours, Sir. The drug is relatively harmless, but it is quick acting and takes a while to wear off."

"Excellent. I will remain with her until she awakens. Now, you may go. Ensure that our Brothers are properly alert. The Sisterhood may try to rescue her."

~-----------~

"Bronwyn, where can she be? It is after seven. She is usually home by two o'clock on Tuesdays, particularly since she has been doing the computer security checks. And she always calls if she is going to be late."

"I don't know, Laurel. I am going to alert the other Sisters in the area and then I will meet you at your home. We will try and locate her once we have our Sisters with Finder crafts with us. Keep faith, lover. I won't let anything happen to your child." Bronwyn was trying to sound more positive than she felt. She still did not even know the identity of the one behind all this."

**************** "Don't try to pretend to still be asleep, slut. I know you are awake." The voice talking to her was slightly familiar. "Open your eyes, bitch!"

The slap that followed opened her eyes quite effectively. Jacqui could not move her legs or her arms. Looking down she saw some type of glowing bands encircling her upper torso and arms, and her thighs and ankles. Then she looked up and saw the hard, dark features of someone she recognized. "You... I... I know you. You work with Professor Stevens..... at school."

"Yes. A useful puppet, that one. Easily susceptible to the Power of the Dark One. Unlike you. I cannot influence you, and I tried while you were unconscious. All of you men- turned-women are resistant. I was unable to turn any of you. It is too bad. For you, that is." His face showed pleasure that thought. Jacqui cringed.

"Who are you? Why am I here?" Jacqui tried to control her fear, tried to sound powerful instead of pitiful, but to her own ears, she failed.

Lancaster laughed. "I? Who am I? I am Erich Lancaster, president of Lancaster Electronics and High Leader of the Brotherhood of the Dark One. And you, little witch, are here to be the instrument of my total victory over your sorry Sisterhood." He smiled at the horror in her eyes. "Yes, your son will be my son, and he will be High Leader after me. He will have the Power of the Dark One and will be immune to your puny magicks because he will be of the Sisterhood, as well. My son will span the millennia old schism between our two factions, and will lead the Brotherhood to their rightful victory."

Pleased to have an audience for his greatness, Lancaster decided to tell his captive the whole of his plan. "And then, the Brotherhood will be free to dominate the world again. Not through force of arms. No, Brother Hitler taught us the futility of that path. We have been fifty years regaining our strength after that debacle. We cannot fight the entire world on the physical level. Our power is great, but still limited. Eventually the shear weight of numbers that would ally against us would again defeat us."

"No, this time, we will win by using the power of the computer married to the Power of the Dark One. That is how we found your Sisters that we captured, and how we discovered you. Your cult's ways of hiding identities that have changed with their sex were adequate twenty five years ago, even perhaps ten years ago. No longer. Even if you tried to somehow find and change every record on the Internet, my records are sealed magically."

"Now, I will use it to attack, as well. A magically created computer virus is ready to be loosed on the world. Once it infects a computer, it lays dormant until I order it to act. The computer does not even need to be connected to the Web any longer so there is no defense against it. Whole systems can be lost, or corrupted or externally operated by me. Controlling computers can be made to malfunction. The modern world will either accede to our demands or society will end. No electricity. No air travel. Communications disrupted and lost. It will be a return to the Stone Age because even those tools that do not require computers to work, require something that is controlled by a computer to work. I call my little virus the Second Black Plague for its effects will be as far reaching in this time as the original Plague was in the Europe of the Middle Ages."

"It is like cyber-biological warfare." Jacqui whispered.

"Indeed it is. I knew you would appreciate the genius of this. I knew it from the way you used computers at your school and at your home. Ahh. You did not know I was eavesdropping on your accounts? Easily. You are very talented. It is one of the reasons I chose you as the Mother of my Son. You and I have a rare combination of computer talent and the potential to wield magic. Very few have both, but you and I both do. Talents we will bequeath to our son."

"But why? Why alert the Sisterhood with your attacks? It makes no sense if you already had this weapon." Jacqui's mind was clearing now. Lancaster did not know that she was already pregnant. What would he do if he found out? Kill her? Or simply kill her child and then get his child on her afterwards. She had to protect Marc's child. She had to play for time.

"Why attack your so-sacred Sisterhood of emasculated crones? Because the power they use to perpetuate themselves is an abomination in the eyes of the Dark One. Because they have opposed us time and again in the past and have caused us shame in the eyes of the Dark One. You take from men the Power of the Dark One. I do not want them and their un-maled whelps upon the earth when we achieve our victory. I want them to die knowing that they could not stop that final victory."

Jacqui's intuition flared, and she heard the unwitting emphasis on the words "emasculated" and "power they used to perpetuate" and "un-maled". With all her will, she forced her face muscles into something approximating a smile. "You fear the Transformation." she said with absolute confidence and assurance. "Its not that the Sisterhood deterred your group in time-forgotten ages. You are afraid. You're terrified that you will wake up some morning with tits and a cunt."

A vicious backhand slap rocked Jacqui back onto the cot she'd been laid on. "Stupid Bitch!" he roared. "I fear nothing about your puling Sisterhood, least of all the weak magicks of their impotent Goddess." He raised his fist to strike her again, but suddenly stopped with his hand still above his head. He seemed to shudder and then slowly lowered the hand as he composed his furious features. "No. You won't get off that easily, little witch. I know you don't have the power to oppose me because you have not yet given birth or suckled a child. You cannot make me kill you now. Oh, no, not until we pull my son from your bleeding and dying body." He turned and strode to the room's only door. "You will be fed and cared for to keep you healthy. After you finish your next menses, we will monitor you for ovulation. As the time approaches, we will inseminate you daily. I might even do it, myself, naturally, once or twice. You will give me my son, witch, and he will destroy the last remnants of your cursed sect." And with that, he disappeared through the door, slamming it behind him.

He's mad, Jacqui thought, but he can do what he said. At least the impregnation part. As for his Black Plague, she just did not know enough about magic to know if he could magically activate it, but the infection was possible.

She felt so alone. She started to think that she wanted her Mother, but that brought on another grim thought. That man had already killed at least one, probably more Sisters. If her gentle Mother came to rescue her, there was every reason to believe he'd kill Mum, too.

Jacqui could not stand that thought. She herself, was probably already as good as dead, but her capture would probably alert Bronwyn and her friends. Maybe they could find clues that would lead them to Lancaster. If they found her, they would come running and would run straight into him, in the kind of direct confrontation that favored the killing power of the Dark Power over the subtle power of the Goddess.

Grimly, Jacqui tried to shield her mind. She had to "hide" herself away from Bronwyn and her Mother. They had to find a different way to Lancaster - one that would give them time to plan, instead of reacting to her capture. With all the power at her command, Jacqui closed her eyes, and tried to close her mind as well.

A Change of Direction Chapter 27

Bronwyn and the other members of the Sisterhood gathered around the distraught Laurie. Funneling their combined power through one or two Sisters with "finder" talents, the Sisters had spent the better part of the evening and night searching for the mental touch of Laurie's daughter, but to no avail. "I can't sense her, Bronwyn. I know she is still alive because I would know if her life-strength died, but I cannot sense her well enough to help the Sisters of the Finder craft locate her. Somehow, she is using her own powers and she is blocking me. Dammit, why did she have to be so powerful?"

"It is why we Transformed her, Laurel, because she could be so powerful. Now, we must assume she is being noble, and trying to protect us so that we will be strong when the time to confront the Brotherhood arises."

"We cannot let her do that, Bronwyn." Laurie whispered desperately. "She is my baby. We have to get her back."

Bronwyn nodded solemnly. "Indeed we must, Laurel, but not for that reason alone. Remember, she carries an un-Transformed daughter of the Sisterhood in her womb, and we cannot let the Brotherhood have that child. Especially since we have not taught Jacqui the Birth Rites that would protect the still- male child from the Dark Power."

Laurie's eyes lit up. "The child! I have touched her child already. I know his aura!" She sent her senses outward once again and almost immediately touched and found, "The child! Bronwyn! I know where he is. She forgot to shield him from me. I have found her!"

A short cheer went up from the assembly of witches, only to be cut short by the realization they would now be facing the Brotherhood directly. For the first time since the ancient times, the forces of the Goddess and the Dark One would openly confront one another. The days of the Sisterhood manipulating men of power from behind the scene were over. By kidnaping Laurie's unborn grandchild, still in his Mother's womb, this new High Leader of the Brotherhood had gone too far.

Lancaster had returned to Jacqui's cell, and was seated across the room from her, watching Jacqui with eyes heated by madness. His followers were outside, standing guard around the perimeter of the factory complex. She felt so bloody helpless. What was the point of having magic powers if you could not do anything with them?? Nothing Jacqui had been taught to date by Laurel or by Bronwyn was adequate to the task of protecting herself or her child, not against a madman with the destructive power Lancaster seemed to possess.

She hoped that her spell of concealment had prevented her Mother from finding her. She did not want her impulsive Mother getting herself killed running to her rescue. What could she do, anyway? Hell, What could Jacqui do? The only positive thing in this mess was that Lancaster wanted to make her conceive a child. Since she was already pregnant, that gave her at least a month to come up with some way of escaping, while Lancaster awaited a menses that was not going to happen. Or at least, coming up with some way of preventing Lancaster from hurting her child.

"Your child will be great, woman, because he will be my son, and because I, Lancaster, High Leader of the Brotherhood, will make him so. I will teach him the power of the Dark One. He will take my place at the head of the Brotherhood, and he will destroy your precious Sisterhood once and for all. It is too bad we did not know of you. You have great reserves of power in you, but now, it is a pale, weak and useless thing. It cannot no longer destroy. They took that from you when they Transformed you, and more. They took from you your will to be great, your will to conquer, your will to dominate." His words began to run together, to slur, as his tirade grew. "Through your son, I will rule the world."

At the very instant of that arrogant claim, the heavy door exploded inward and first Bronwyn, then Laurie rushed in followed by four other members of the Sisterhood. Bronwyn gestured at Jacqui, and the glowing bands that had been holding her immobile disappeared. Recovering quickly, Lancaster struck out, sending globules of black light flying at the six women. Bronwyn, Laurie and two of the women managed to shield themselves in bubbles of incandescently bright white light. The globules hissed and sputtered and then disappeared against the shining globes. The other two women did not shield in time and the globules struck them full in their chests. They screamed, hideously, and then simply dissolved into foul smelling puddles on the floor.

Jacqui tried to move to the four remaining women, but Lancaster cut her off, grabbing her with a choke hold about her throat. "We seem to have a standoff, High Priestess. And I sense that you are the High Priestess. My men have been dealt with, I assume?"

"Neutralized, High Leader. Unharmed, but the stench of the Dark One has been forever washed out of their souls."

"Leaving them without power or the will to use it properly if they still had it. And your Goddess," the word was hissing curse, "Considers that to be nondestructive, to brutally rip from a man the very characteristics that first gave him dominion over this planet. You cannot do that to me - my power is too great. And you cannot destroy me - your Goddess forbids it. Sadly, it appears I cannot destroy you either while you hide behind your cowardly shields. It seems my best course of action, then, is to take my leave and face you again some other day." He started to drag Jacqui toward the back door.

"We will not let you leave here with her, Lancaster. We can stop you."

He stopped and regarded Bronwyn. The red haze of madness had receded from his dark eyes, replaced by animal cunning. "I suppose you can at that. I don't know how, but your words have the ring of truth." He shook his head sadly and turned his head to Jacqui. "This one held the key to our ancient struggle. Obviously, I will not be the one to use her to unlock that final victory." The madness burned brightly again and his right hand rose high above Jacqui. "But NEITHER will YOU, High BITCH!"

The raised hand turned black and began to shimmer and pulse with a strange glow that heralded the total absence of light instead of its presence. The glow coalesced into a writhing mass above the pair and then it began to beam down onto Jacqui, who was still struggling to free herself. The instant the light grazed her, she screamed in utter agony.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Laurie's scream answered her daughter's and she reacted without thinking, forging a healing link with her child and the child in her womb. Her power, backed by Bronwyn's own, flowed into Jacqui, deflecting the soul- consuming black light and healing the damage already done. Lancaster tried to increase the power of his spell, but the combined power of the Sisterhood and Laurie first deflected his thrust and then reflected it back into him. The force of his destructive burst backfired on him, and blew him bodily away from the reeling Jacqui.

Jacqui regained her senses to see Bronwyn and the Sisterhood and her Mother. She took a tentative step toward them when her Mother collapsed to the floor. Instantly, Jacqui tried to forge her own link with her Mother, but failed. Her Mother resisted her, and what Jacqui saw in the instant she was in touch with her chilled her soul. Laurie had not guarded herself in the link with her daughter. Jacqui should have died and Laurie had taken the damage done to her child into herself. Now, her Mother was dying.

Lancaster struggled to his feet. Jacqui saw him gathering himself, felt the power growing in him again, and wanted to strike out at him, to turn him into puddles of sewage as he had just done to her Mother's friends. Her Mother's hand gripped hers and she knew she could not.

She had to do something. He had to be stopped. What had he said? "You take from men the power of the Dark One."? The followers of the Goddess were weak because they lacked that power? Her soul in torment, Jacqui tapped the full resources of power she had been told time and again were hers. The most powerful magic she knew was the one enchantment she still could not control well enough to use safely on herself, but she could still use it . . . other ways.

Bronwyn was the first to sense the change in Jacqui, and fearing Jacqui was retaliating in kind, called out to her to stop. Jacqui heard nothing save her Mother's scream, and saw nothing save the man whose lust for power had fatally injured the woman who had twice given birth to her.

The air about Jacqui literally began to seethe with visible power and she quietly intoned the words she had been taught . . .

The world exploded in a cold flash of pure blinding white light, with her at its fiery center. In the core of the swirling maelstrom of power, Jacqui sang the song her Mother and Bronwyn had taught her and bent the fabric of life to her will. When the storm faded, the power of the Dark One had been banished from that room.

Moments later, she was kneeling beside her Mother, crying. "Mother," she begged. "Let me in. Please, let me try to help you. I love you. Don't leave me."

"No, my love. You cannot help me. There is not enough life- power in you to heal me without the cost of your own life."

"Bronwyn, help me." Jacqui cried. "Make her let me in. Help me help her."

"I don't think we can, my love." Bronwyn said sadly. "Certainly not if she resists us."

"And I will resist, Bronwyn, for even with the combined power of the Sisterhood, it may not be enough. Bronwyn, remember my Death Wish?" Shocked, Bronwyn paled, then nodded. Laurie turned back to Jacqui. "You can be Jack again. The High Leader's attack has all but stripped me of my life-power. The enchantment that I put upon you, the magic that forces you to do the Transformation yourself will die with me. The power is in you, daughter, and the Sisterhood can help you. You may never be this powerful again. Don't let me destroy your dreams."

Bronwyn sighed. "It may not work, Laurel. She has killed with the power of the Goddess. She won't have the power to complete the spell with us."

"I did not kill him." Jacqui snarled. "I Transformed him. See for yourself."

One of the Sisters, a woman Jacqui recognized as her high school vice principal, ran over to where Lancaster had fallen under Jacqui's onslaught. She made a cry of wonder and returned, carrying a newborn baby in her arms.

"The child is female, High Priestess." Thea said in hushed awe.

"She can't wield the Dark One's power, and she can be raised again, this time without the Dark Power's taint. I don't have the control Mother had. I could not focus the spell on just him. So, I attacked any "Y" chromosome I touched with my spell. I don't know what the range of the enchantment was, but whatever it is, there is not a male creature inside of that perimeter." Jacqui whispered, still trying to focus her power to pierce her Mother's defenses.

Bronwyn nodded and knelt down beside Mother and daughter. She rested a hand on each of them. "Then what your Mother said is true, Jacqui. Her spell dies with her. Given what I have just witnessed, your power is now so great, that with all of us acting together, we could reverse your mother's spell together." she paused, her voice catching, "once your Mother crosses over, but you will leave here as Jack once more."

That was what she wanted, wasn't it? "But what about Mum? What about..." She choked back a sob. "What about my baby?" Tears flowed down Jacqui's cheeks, cutting tracks in the sooty aftermath of Lancaster's magical attack.

"Your mother wants you to have your dream." Bronwyn said gently. "She will resist healing if it costs you your dream. We can do nothing for her without her help. We do not have the power to overcome the greatest healer of our age. As for your child, he is the product of your lover's sperm and your Transformed egg. Two sperm cannot make a child, Jacqui, and that is precisely what they will become once you Transform back. Your baby will simply revert into two separate sperm cells. One which came from the father, and one which used to be your egg. Now come, the time is short. The optimal time for the spell is just as your Mother's spell is broken."

Jacqui knew that was a euphemism for "just as your Mother dies."

Jacqui bent over her mother, crying on her shoulder. "Do it, Jack." Laurie's voice was only a weak, thready whisper as she called him by a name he had not heard on her lips in over a year and a half. The end had to be near. "Take this chance to be your dream again. Let the last sight I see in this life be the power of the Goddess encircling you. Let me pass over knowing that the wrong I committed against you will be corrected in that next instant."

Bronwyn took Jacqui's hand. "One more thing you must know. A man cannot wield the power of the Goddess, Jacqueline. When you do this, you do so understanding that you will lose your powers forever. The Gift of the Goddess is given only once. I will still love you and watch over you, but you will be as you were before - a normal human man."

Jacqui did not really have time to consider what to do. It was all happening so fast, and everyone was doing their part to help her return to "normal". She watched as the combined power of the Sisterhood began to light the room above each of the surviving sisters. Their individual lights then merged, and continued to grow until their power became a visible, living thing enfolding the group circled about Laurie's body on the floor. Finally, the light seemed to move from the group, to coalesce into a shimmering halo above and about the High Priestess and Jacqueline.

Jacqui reeled momentarily as she fought to contain and control the power given her by the other Sisters. "You must say the incantation, Jacqueline. You must complete the rite to change yourself back. I give you the power of your Sisters. I give you my power. Make it one with yours and Make your dreams come true."

Once again, Jacqui murmured words of power, and sang a song of love. The power seemed to implode into her, filling her soul, where it resided for long eternities encompassing infinitesimal fractions of a second. The incredible totality of the merged power threatened to explode from her, flying out uncontrolled, in all directions, but Jacqui fought against that explosion, fought to bend the seething light to her will.

Fought, and won.

With the last vestige of her mental strength, she completed the incantation and focused the combined power of the Sisterhood.

And the world went black.

A Change of Direction Epilogue

"... wake up. Come on now, darling, you must wake up."

Mum was yelling again, Jacqui thought muzzily. Must have overslept again. Sleep started to unravel and. . . MUM!??!

Eyes shot open. "MUM, you're alive!" She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to make them clear. Her Mother was still standing there above her. "Aren't you? This isn't a dream or heaven, is it?"

"I am alive, darling, and you are still my daughter. You took the gift of the Goddess, the power that could have given you back your dreams, and you used it to shatter my resistance to the healing magic, and then, to give me life." Her Mother gave a huffy sniff of mock disapproval. "In spite of my decision to keep you from wasting the power on me."

"Dreams change, mum, and my dreams have changed. Besides, there was no choice. You matter much more to me than a penis. The comparison is laughable."

Jacqui tried to get up so she could enfold her Mother in a hug, but weakness dragged her back down. "None of that, Miss. You need rest to regain your strength. Bronwyn is incredulous over what you did tonight." She grinned that wonderful, impish grin of hers. So beloved, Jacqui thought. "Do you know that when you attacked Lancaster, you also Transformed every known member of the Brotherhood at the same time?" Jacqui shook her head, surprised at that. "Yes indeed. Now almost every Sister has a newborn daughter to raise. Quite a change for all of us, let me tell you. We have centuries of experience with boy babies, but absolutely none with girl babies. Bronwyn took Lancaster, and has named her Lani. She thinks he, or rather, she thinks Lani has the potential to be a Priestess, with a lot of love and the right training and upbringing."

"What happens if they learn the Transformation Spell?" Jacqui asked.

"If you are worried about a resurgence of that faction of the Brotherhood, don't be. You did your job very well. They were all newborns. We just did the Birth Rites on them. None of them will ever wield the Dark Power again."

"You know what is really strange, Mum? Lancaster wanted to breach the rift between the Brotherhood and the Sisterhood, to remarry the Power of Darkness with the Power of the Light, and now he will. Only instead of his son doing it as a member of the Brotherhood, she will do it as a member of the Sisterhood." She stopped and gathered her courage. "I wanted to kill him, Momma, but at the last instant, you stopped me. What I did was all I could think of doing to prevent him from using that awful power again."

Laurie soothed with a gentle physical and magical touch. "Hush. You did just fine. What is really amazing is that in all the centuries of strife between our two factions, we of the Sisterhood never considered using the Transformation Spell that way. We always saw it as a gift. I guess it took someone who did not see it quite that way to find its potential as a weapon." Laurie checked her daughter's forehead and found it cool. "Now, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Mum. A little tired, but otherwise really fine." A hand went protectively to her stomach and her healer's touch sought the baby sleeping there. Her child was all right, but different than before, she was surprised to note. A grin lit her face. "My baby is fine, too. And she won't have to be Transformed. There will be one more girl baby for the Sisterhood to raise."

"You think you are having a daughter? Darling, I told you - our family doesn't have daughters." Jacqui's brows lifted in mute challenge and Laurie blushed. "Well, our children don't start out as daughters. Our eggs reject sperm that carry X chromosomes."

"This one started out as a male, too, Mom. But as I told Bronwyn, every male creature within the range of my spell was Transformed. Including Junior." she laughed patting her still flat tummy. "In the end, I did exactly what I told you I would not do. I Transformed my son."

Both women shared a chuckle at that irony, then Laurie became serious again. "You know, dear. You will still be able to go back to being a male. You are still on track to learn the Control of the Transformation Spell. You can use it on yourself as those other men in the records did. The part of my original spell that imposed the prohibition against you using the Transformation on yourself still stands since you saved me. However, I would say you will have ample power for the job once you have satisfied all the experience requirements."

"And let someone else raise my kid?" Jacqui's look was mutinous and her tones were indignant. "Not bloody likely. We are talking the first female point guard in the NBA here. She is going to need the proper example. Besides. Marcus is her father. Since she is going to be a girl all her life, we can share her with her paternal grandparents. It might make his passing easier on them."

Laurie raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Are those your only reasons, Missy?"

Jacqui simply grinned. "And I would not give up the love and loving of the Sisterhood for anything, Mom." Jacqui pulled her Mother down into the bed beside her for a quick kiss and hug. "Thank you, Mom." she whispered into Laurie's ear. "Thank you for loving me that much."

Another thought struck Jacqui. "Um, Mom?"

"What, love?" Laurie murmured against Jacqui's mouth.

"You are going to be my birthing coach, aren't you? I mean, that isn't something a guy should have to face without his mom there to hold his hand. Even if the guy is a girl, now." And Laurie burst into laughing, happy tears, and was soon joined by her daughter.