Holy shit was I bored. I sat looking out over the back yard from the French doors on the balcony. It stretched until it reached a copse of trees about two acres away. The snow blanketed the whole thing so it looked like a Christmas card. I could see the groundskeeper in the attached greenhouse tending to the weeds my mother favored most, tediously transplanting those that had grown too large into a more suitable pot. I sighed and walked across the room, bare feet sinking into the plush carpet, and made my way to my bathroom. The doors were oak and extended from floor to ceiling arching together at the top. I stepped onto the cold marble of the bathroom and crossed to the tub.
The tub was a favorite of mine, claw footed with gold accented handles. I adjusted the shower temperature and climbed in. As I washed the night from my body I felt no need to rush, and it's not just 'cause I'm a teenager either. I just had nothing to do.
The warm water coursed over me and at last I decided I was wrinkled enough and climbed out. I toweled off quickly and dressed in a wind suit for my morning run. I pulled on running shoes and headed to the sunroom. There was toast and coffee, orange juice and eggs. Same damn thing every Saturday morning for as long as I can remember. The silver service was laid out on either side of the plate and the serving man stood in the corner waiting to be called into service. I sighed as I sat down to eat my breakfast alone again. After eating I stretched and went out to run. The area we live in allows for quite a bit of space between houses so I just run down the street until I reach town, about five miles or so. I stop for a breather and then head back. It gets me exercise, which I need, and it gives me time to think, which I don't need. As I head down the driveway I reflect on just how much time I have to do nothing but think. I attended a private school and I could do with out the majority of people there. My few friends there were pretty cool I guess, but we never saw each other outside that environment unless we made a 'play date'. Have you ever heard of anything so fucked up? A play date.
My Parents were very successful and oh so proper, and to make it worse they were old money so you can imagine how they sniffed at the 'nouveau riche' that had begun to populate this area in the past ten years. So as it stood I had little in the way of companionship and it sucked. I guess the one good thing about my folks is that they were so busy they pretty much left me alone, which suited me fine. I knew they had me only because it was popular to have one child and no more than that, and so mother had her tubes tied as was also fashionable in higher circles.
I continued down the road towards town, breath pluming from my mouth in even, measured breaths. This was how I spent most of my free time, being alone and thinking. Wondering what it's like to have people over or to just go visit without setting it up two weeks in advance. Jesus, when can I be a real person? The trees I was passing gave way to fields as I approached the outskirts of town. I saw more cars the closer I got to the center of town and I was very aware of feeling conspicuous running in the winter, but it got me out of the house for a few hours so, who cares? I slowed as I stepped onto the first sidewalk and in a few minutes was in the heart of the shopping district here. All three blocks of it. This too was part of my routine as I walked the area to cool down and stay loose for my return trip. I looked in the shop windows and watched the people out for a day of shopping or just looking at things they would like to have. I have news for them, material things won't make you happy. Grin maybe, but not make you really happy..
I was passing the soda fountain in town when I noticed our housekeeper inside. Greta Fanning was just about the sweetest person you could ever hope to meet and she smiled warmly as she saw me and beckoned me inside. I entered the building and ordered a hot chocolate before going to sit with her. I'd have to run extra hard to work off the chocolate, I knew.
"Master Quinn what are you doing running like that? Dressed like that? You'll catch cold you will, just you wait!" She scolded.
"Miss Greta, I have to dress this way to run and I just can't stand being cooped up by myself, you know that." I smiled, "Besides if I get sick I can stay home and you can take care of me!"
"Oh, boys are impossible!" She threw up her hands in mock disgust.
"So what brings you down here this morning, now that you know why I'm here?" I asked.
"Well, my sister hasn't been well you know, she's got the Cancer. She smoked for years and it finally caught up with her. I'm afraid she won't be coming home from the hospital this time."
"Oh, Miss Greta I'm sorry, I had no idea it was that bad. You had mentioned she wasn't well, but I was...I'm sorry."
"Oh, you're sweet Master Quinn, but I came to terms with it a long time ago. She knew what she was doing and there wasn't anyone going to tell her different. Still though, I am going to miss her."
A silence fell over us before I broke it again, "But Miss Greta, that doesn't tell me why you're here in this shop this morning. I thought you go to your knitting bee on Saturdays."
"Such a sweet man you are, remembering my schedule! You know, you'll make someone really happy someday because you pay attention to the details in a person's life. Truth be told I am here this morning because of my nephew. My sister's only child is going to stay with me for a time, he's got no where else to go. Our parents died when we were young and he's the only family I have left. So, I take him in." She paused, "its going to be strange having someone in the house, you know. I haven't had anyone live with me since my Michael passed almost six years now. And never did we have the sound of small feet! Well not that his feet are small now, lord he's your age Master Quinn. But it will take some getting used to. Still his life will improve being here I think, he's never had much you see. My sister, God bless her, she was never what one would call respectable. Don't get the wrong idea, I loved her, but that poor boy hasn't really known family his whole life."
I mulled this new development over. I had known of Miss Greta's sister being sick, I had chanced on her in my bathroom one morning with damp eyes and had questioned her. She had resisted momentarily; it wasn't proper she'd said to tell your employer of your personal troubles. I insisted that she tell me, as I certainly wasn't the one that paid her wages each week. In the end she had relented and I had given her a brief hug, more than my social standing allows for by a long shot, but what the hell? She had obviously needed comforting and I was handy. Also, she was a very nice woman who always paid attention when I spoke, unlike most of the house staff. Friendship, it is said, is a two way street. Now the development of a nephew was a new wrinkle. Miss Greta was paid well, and her husband had left her a decent pension so I knew she was all right financially, but what about emotionally? She wasn't in any position to look after anyone, at least that was my opinion.
"So he's coming on the bus I am guessing?" I asked, knowing that the only transport in and out of this town outside of a personal vehicle was the bus, the train having long since stopped running in this area.
"Yes, he's due anytime now and I came a bit early to meet him. He'll be nervous, you know. New place and he's never even seen me before, poor lad." She moved her hands restlessly in her lap, fidgeting and quietly stating that she knew nothing of raising a teenager.
"Would you like me to wait with you a bit, Miss Greta?" I asked, hoping to convey some comfort at having another person with her.
"Oh I wouldn't want to keep...oh, there is the bus! Oh, my what do I do? I don't know what to say or what to...Master Quinn, I have to go to the bus and get my nephew but..."
"But what Miss Greta?" I asked.
"I am not really sure what he looks like." She said quietly, "This all happened so fast for me, she just called a month ago to tell me that the fight was truly lost..."
"I'll walk with you to the bus, Miss Greta. We can find him a bit easier with four eyes rather than two, right?"
We stood and walked through the crowd to the front door, and out to the waiting group that had clustered near the front of the bus. It was a small group to be sure; well maybe there weren't enough people to consider it a group. How many people comprise a group anyway? Wow, I must be ridiculously anal just to consider the question!
People filed off the bus and I was growing a bit impatient to start for home since the wind suit is great while your moving, it helps to keep some body heat in, but it's awful to stand around in. I watched as a boy my age stepped off the bus, and my breath caught in my throat. His clothes were clean but threadbare, with shiny thin spots showing in the joints. His shoes were well used but hiding scuffs as best they could, all in all someone who took care of what they had and did the best they could was my impression.
But the face was something else again. It was creme colored like coffee with half-and-half mixed in, his hair fine and caught between blond and brown, and spectacular green eyes. I wished I could drown in those eyes. Miss Greta was fussing over him and it was obvious to me that she must have recognized her nephew despite her concerns. She turned as she suddenly remembered I was waiting with her and made noises about her being rude.
"Master Quinn, I am so sorry, where is my head? This is my nephew, Drew. It isn't short for Andrew, my sister just had to be different you know - couldn't just give him a Christian name, not her!"
He smiled shyly and butterflies took flight in my stomach. What was wrong with me? My palms were sweating and I felt so nervous meeting this absolutely gorgeous guy. What?!?!
"Pleased to meet you, sir." He said shyly and proffered his hand to me. I returned the greeting and shook his hand automatically.
I excused myself quickly and began a slow jog that turned into a trot as I headed for the house. Once again I was left with my thoughts and the sounds of my pounding feet as I thought about this new development. I had never, ever had those feelings before. No one had ever struck me just so, what made this one special? Time would tell I supposed, unfortunately my mind would not take that as an answer and it continued to churn trying to make heads or tails of it. For the first time in a long time I was utterly confused.
After returning to the house and showering I spent much of the day trying to be occupied. The video games just weren't doing it for me and the TV is just too mindless. I couldn't even concentrate on reading, which I love to do because thoughts of Drew kept intruding on me. Every person on the TV was compared to him; characters in books were no where near as interesting. And I knew nothing of him! What made matters worse were I had no idea what I was to do about it, there was no reason behind my quandary. In short I just didn't know what to do or how to handle these emotions. And so, I thought on them through out the day trying to make heads or tails of it all.
About two o'clock Miss Greta came in to do the Saturday lightwork, which was dusting the unused library mostly. You see, certain areas of the house were reserved for my parents, and the library belonged to my father, not that he was ever here long enough to read anything. My parents had perfected the absentee marriage with my father on constant assignment with his company, usually in the Far East, and my mother on almost constant sabbatical at her families' estate in France. So where does that leave me you ask? Well, alone mostly. I had a nanny for several years, but she moved when she got married and was never replaced. The staff does all the laundry, cooking, et al ad nauseum. Anyway, talking to Greta was usually a high point in the day for me, and today I had plenty I wanted to hear her talk about.
I greeted her in the library and she chattered away as she swept through the room.
"So how is Drew settling in?" I asked innocently.
"Oh, just wonderfully! I put him in the guestroom I have and he started to clean and spruce the room up, it looks so nice. And he is so sweet, I just love him. He says he's cooking a nice casserole tonight so I don't have to cook. I love having him already!"
"He seemed to be a quiet sort." I commented, hoping to provoke more information.
"Well he was quiet for a bit, and then he started to ask questions about the town and my job, and yourself Master Quinn."
"Me?" I squeaked, which I never do, "What did he want to know about me?" I asked.
"Oh, well," She said dropping her hands in front of her and taking on a more formal posture, "I think he was just interested in seeing if he could make friends, naturally I informed him of our lower standing in the community. Of course, there is no way and your parents! I shudder to think, they would never approve. I'm afraid it just wouldn't do."
"Naturally." I nodded instinctively, but already trying to figure out a way around that.
"Mr. Kelley, the gardener you know, is going to take him on for the extra help in clearing the greenhouse and such. That will keep him busy until school starts. What a shame though, you get a week off from school and we have a storm coming in on Monday. You know when I was a girl my school.."
I will be honest; I didn't hear anything after the bit about Drew working for Mr. Kelley on Monday. I felt a sudden green thumb coming on.
Sunday was just as quiet as Saturday at my house, all the more so because of the holiday week. Some of the staff had taken time off to go spend a few days with family or with their children who would have no school that week. Mr. Guinness would still be there to cook but that would be about it, besides Miss Greta.
I got up and got ready to run again, leaving the house in the brisk morning, breathe pluming from my mouth as I exercised. I reflected on Saturday as I ran, feet rhythmically pounding the pavement. I felt foolish, to tell the truth, because I was making plans to try and get to know him better and I had no logical reason why I was doing so. I knew nothing of his intelligence, interests, nothing. I had absolutely no reason to desire to see more of him. But I did, and that was most vexing to me. As I meditated on this for the thousandth time I entered town and continued to jog down the sidewalk, which was deserted. Lost in my thoughts about Drew and what all of this meant I never saw it coming. I was passing the small grocery store in town when the front door opened and Drew stepped out carrying a bag of groceries. I ran right into him, toppling us both and his bag of groceries went flying to the four winds, sending consumables willy nilly down the sidewalk and into the street. He was looking at me in shock and amazement, and then in fear.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I didn't see you coming, I am so stupid, please forgive me? Are you all right?" He said with concern and outright terror written on his face.
"I'm fine, it was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going. God, I am the one who should be apologizing, look at your groceries. They're ruined!" I exclaimed apologetically.
"Oh, no! No big deal, I'll just go in and get more. It's ok." He said, but I could see him fidget at the mention of getting more stuff. Miss Greta was not badly off, but she wasn't rich either and I had dumped a good fifty dollars of groceries I am sure. How would I know? Well, unlike most people I school with I walk into the grocery store for some human contact, and as I do I notice what some things cost. On occasion I will even go into the store to purchase junk food for myself, since it really isn't available at home. So, maybe I was reading this wrong, but I'll bet he either didn't have the money to replace the goods, or it was going to hurt to do it. Maybe a little of both.
"No, I take responsibility for this, it's my fault and I'll fix it. It's only fair, besides," I grinned as I got to my feet, "I insist."
He stood sheepishly and we entered the store. The grocer watched us come in and shook his head slowly.
"Young people," He said, "Always in such a hurry, and they never know where they are going. Now I ask you, how will they know when they get there?"
We both stood looking at him as he went from one face to the other looking for an answer and finally threw his hands in the air with a small smile. "How can I help you two, ah?"
"He needs the contents of his shopping list again." I said.
Drew shifted uncomfortably next to me and spoke; "Actually I could just come back..." he began.
"Well, you should know," the grocer said to Drew, "You have to be careful. You didn't have enough for all the groceries you needed five minutes ago; did you give birth to money when you hit the sidewalk, ah? I have a business to run I can't give food away! I'd go broke, popular maybe, but broke! How do you plan to take care of this?"
"I am paying, it was my fault his stuff got trashed. If you could just gather his order and bill the residence, I can see to it myself." I told the grocer.
"No, really you don't have to..." Drew began.
"Yes, I do. Would you please?" I said to the grocer.
He looked from one to the other and then shrugged his shoulders, "its not often you find someone with a sense of responsibility. And less often are they responsible and have the means to be responsible."
The grocer went about regathering the order. Drew stood shyly and I felt the need to break the awkward silence.
"So, you sure you're ok?" I asked. God, that was lame.
"I'm ok, thanks." He replied quietly. He wandered off to look at the newspaper rack. I went to the grocer to make sure he filled the whole order, including the stuff Drew hadn't had the money for.
"You know," The grocer said quietly, "It's honorable what you're doing here. Miss Fanning hasn't been having the best luck lately, what with her sister and all the money she had to send her, it broke her bank account you know. She had to mortgage her house after having had it paid off for eighteen years. I urge you to be careful though, people have their pride and won't like to feel as though they are getting any charity."
"But I ran into him, I should pay for his things." I said.
"Yes, but if you should decide to assist them with anything in the future, then you should remember my words, ah?" He nodded knowingly and I nodded that I did indeed understand.
"Besides," the grocer continued, "A little bird told me Miss Fanning was warning him to stay away from you, because of your parents you know. To remember his place in society and not try to reach above his station."
"Did this little bird mention anything else...interesting?" I asked.
"Well, you should know that boy has had lots of trouble in his life, so sad really with his mother passing. Me? I'll never be rich, but I could retire if I wanted to, but who wants to do that? What would I do if I didn't have work, ah? But I never let someone's money stand between me liking or disliking them, yes?"
"That's right of course, money is no object." I said.
"It never is if you don't have any!" He guffawed.
"What I meant was..." I began.
"I know, I know and it's good. But he needs a friend more than anything, I think, and Miss Fanning, god bless her, knows nothing of boys or of what one needs. Someone will have to tell her some things, yes?" He waggled his eyebrows in punctuation before continuing, "Now these groceries will be much safer if they are in two bags, and if you boys are both going the same direction, "He boomed, "So you take this one, and you take that one and never you should bump on the sidewalk again, ah?" He laughed uproariously. Drew paled at the sight of both bags, and resolutely reached for both of them. My hand beat him to the bag closest to me, and his hand closed momentarily over mine. I felt sweat stand out on my brow.
"I can take them both, really." He said, voice wavering with nervousness. I was torn, on the one hand I wanted to walk with him, on the other hand it was obviously causing him stress, and it was also obvious that it was because he was warned not to try and fit in with the upper class. I took in his worried expression and his threadbare clothes and decided that walking with him would more than likely cause him more stress than was necessary. I would have to talk with Miss Greta Fanning about whom I could have as friends and who exactly made those decisions. I abruptly changed my mind; I wanted to speak to her now. I firmed my grip on the bag and used my free hand to indicate he should lead the way. He hesitated then stepped out the door.
We walked in silence for half a block before he stopped and turned to me, opening his mouth, closing it then opening it again with no sound coming out. Finally he spoke.
"I am not supposed to be around you, I'll get in trouble. Please let me take this stuff home by myself. Please." He finished in a whisper.
It was the eyes that did it, a pleading in them. I shivered and then nodded. He let out a breath and took the bag from me, turning with a small 'thank you' he headed down the street alone. I turned slowly and jogged for home.
Thoughts? Please send any to: dabeagle@nycap.rr.com