Changing ClassesChanging Classes By dabeagle
Morning came, but with the heavy drapes we slept undisturbed until around eleven. I woke slowly and had the uncanny feeling of being watched. I opened my eyes ever so slowly, just a slight bit so that they didn't appear to be open, and spied Drew leaning propped on one elbow as he lay on his side, his side rising and falling with his breath, smooth skin delicate in the new morning light. He was smiling gently at me, almost benevolently. It must be what it looks like to be gazed upon by Seraphim. I opened my eyes and his smile grew.
"Good morning. I could tell you were waking up, you're breathing changed." He said.
"Good morning yourself. This floor is hard!" I said as I began to get up and felt my muscles ache and joints pop form the unusual sleeping conditions.
"You're not a morning person, are you?" he asked.
"No, I'm not." I said while rubbing a spot on my lower back.
"I am!" He said brightly and tackled me from behind onto the couch where he set upon my kneecaps again. I twisted and laughed, trying in vain to escape until I was finally able to roll over on my stomach so that the knees weren't so accessible. I lay panting out of breath and he had a large grin on his face, breathing heavily but obviously satisfied with his efforts.
"I'm hungry." He stated as he stood up. I was never one to allow an opportunity for drawing even with someone to slip on by, so I grabbed him about the waist and drew him down on top of me, and proceeded to dig into his ribs. He squealed with laughter and twisted to try and escape but I had a hold of him, but good. I finally let up when he began squealing he couldn't breathe and I stopped tickling but continued to hold him closely. Slowly he caught his breath and I leaned back on the couch doing the same.
"Quinn?"
"Yeah?"
"This feels nice." He said leaning his head back so that it rested on my shoulder. His feet were settled on top of mine, his knees bent exactly over mine and the bare skin of his back rested on my chest. My arms were looped around him, carelessly at his waist it might seem. I tightened my grip on him, my hands laying palm down on either of his smooth sides and I held him close.
"This might sound stupid," He said, "But this feels so safe and warm, I don't think I'd ever move except for one thing." He said wiggling into me.
"And what's that? I said, tension in my voice apparent to my own ears.
"I'm still hungry." He said and we both giggled for no reason at all. Reluctantly I released him and we headed back to the kitchen. The items we had placed on the porch seemed to have faired well enough we noted as we dug through the items. We began to get the eggs and cheeses out for breakfast at Drew's instruction, and I was lost after that. I know nothing about cooking and never had any desire to know how things get done in the kitchen; in fact hot chocolate was as advanced as my cooking skills were. I sat at the kitchen table and watched Drew move around the kitchen making omelets with toast and coffee. I tell you what; it was no great chore to watch Drew as he busied himself with the tasks at hand! He wore my sweats and was bare foot and still had not put a shirt on. His shoulder blades moved beneath the smooth skin as he flitted about.
"Where'd you learn to cook?" I asked while he danced on the tile.
"Had to, but Kody mostly. His Dad was good for a few things and cooking was one of them. He used to make a lot of stuff, roasts and turkeys, chicken and dumplings. All sorts of stuff, and he'd teach us sometimes what he was doing. Kody was a quick learner, always had been, and he took right to all that cooking." He chattered as he cooked.
"How come you don't know how to cook?" he asked looking over his shoulder at me, "I thought you knew everything!" He grinned.
"I know enough to stay out of the kitchen!" I snorted. He turned back to the task at hand and the eggs popped and sizzled in the pan. I wandered to the window and looked outside at the drifts of snow. The sun was shining brightly and beginning to melt upper layers of the snow. Tonight it would freeze in slick sheets. Distantly I could hear the sound of diesel engines as they ground on the main road that the entrance to our driveway branched from, no doubt bulldozers clearing the worst of the snow for the plows. In a few hours our peace would be broken and Miss Greta would be here, no doubt telling us how amazing it was we got along so well. I dreaded the end of this time, this awakening of myself and who I really was. I think I never really knew who Quinn Anderson was exactly, what he stood for, what he desired and dreamed of. And that was because I had never desired, or dreamed, or stood for anything in my life. And now I desired, dreamed and stood for just one thing, and that was Drew.
"Ok, time to eat if you're done looking at the snow, silly." He said and I turned to face him. Drew was placing plates on the table and I thought he was the most graceful thing I had ever seen, slim fingers moving things about on the table to arrange just so. I stood staring in wonder at him, this person that defined who I was in just a few days. I wonder if he had any idea the influence he had on me, I wonder if he feels just as strongly. Surely not, this feeling is all but overpowering. And still I watched his every move, the shake of the pectoral muscle as he stepped, the bicep and triceps muscles as he placed coffee on the table for each of us and then the milk, which still had a few ice chunks in it that could be heard hitting the side of the container. Fortunately the eggs had been in a cooler so they had not frozen. He stretched across the table, bracing himself with one hand and standing on tiptoe to place the butter on the table. He studied the table with a critical eye, and then looked at me.
"Eating, or just going to stand there and drool?" He asked.
I shuffled to the table very embarrassed and took a seat; did he realize it was him and not the food I had been drooling over? I don't think I have ever eaten in the kitchen before. He sat across from me and dug in hungrily and although my stomach gurgled at the smell of food, I was again mesmerized by Drew. I sat watching him as he tore through the eggs with abandon and when he paused to pour milk in his coffee he noticed me watching him.
"What?" He asked, suddenly self-conscious.
"Huh?" I grunted.
"Why are you staring at me? Do I have a booger on my nose? Or am I eating like a commoner or something?" He asked with a slight edge to his voice.
"No, I have no idea how you were eating." I replied mildly. He relaxed a bit in posture.
"Then why are you staring at me?" He asked.
"Because I." I hesitated before plunging on, "I think you are just about the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I just can't get enough of looking at you." I felt my cheeks getting hot, but I knew I had spoken the truth. He sat stock still, staring at me with a look of shock.
"Are you serious?" He asked, well, more like a whisper. "It's not nice to make fun."
"I have never been more serious. About anything Drew, it's like you flipped this switch showed me what I can be. I want to be your friend so bad. Do you think that'd be ok? I mean, if you want to be friends? Best friends?" I asked feeling hope well in me and filling my chest with a warm feeling.
"Well, what if I want to be more than friends?" He asked slowly, but deliberately.
"You mean like, boyfriends?" I asked. Was that an eager anticipation I heard in my voice? I'll just bet it was.
"Well, yeah, like that. I guess maybe I like you like Kody liked me." He said, "But it's kind of funny, I never felt for Kody like I do for you." He looked at me suddenly getting shy and quietly saying, "I liked you when I got off the bus, I thought I just had to find a way to get to know you, even if it was never more than friends. I was sure I could be a good friend.
And I'm sure I could be an even better boyfriend."
I grinned happily with a lightheaded feeling and pure joy coursing through me! He liked me the way I liked him! I was ready to cross the table to him when my stomach made its grand entrance and rumbled in the near silence between us.
"I think you should probably eat." Drew said trying to hide a small smile, and failing miserably, "You may be in love, but your stomach could care less!"
"I won't eat until I get a kiss." I said petulantly. He rolled his eyes at me and got up off his chair. He came around the table and looked at me intently.
"For real?" He asked. I nodded and reached for his hand as I stood. Once again the kiss was heart racing, exhilarating and lasted nowhere near long enough. My stomach grumbling loudly caused a fit of giggles in Drew that ended the sweet moment. I sat to eat and we kept glancing at each other and smiling as we packed away the breakfast he had made.
The light flickered on signaling the power's return and the growl of the diesels could be heard drawing ever closer. We decided to get cleaned up and plan out our day. He placed our dishes in the sink and we proceeded to head upstairs.
"You're clothes will be dirty, how about if I pick some stuff out from my closet? Would that be ok with you?" I asked. He smiled and nodded.
"Thanks for giving me an option, that would be nice, thanks." He went into the shower first while I selected clothes that I thought would look nice on him. I laid the clothes out on the bed, dark blue pants with a crème colored shirt, socks to match the pants and boxer briefs. My mind drifted away with thoughts that he was in the next room, my bathroom, with no clothes on whatsoever. I was interrupted by the aggressive noise of the bulldozer as it approached the house. I went out to the hall and peered out the window as it approached, pushing snow to the side and then backing up and charging forward again. Followed closely behind it was a Sheriff's truck, something big and four-wheel drive I am sure. I padded down the stairs and out on the back porch as the 'dozer passed by the back entrance with a veritable mountain of snow in front of it. The truck slowed and came to a stop near the door and a man with a tan Sheriff's uniform stepped out, as well as a rotund woman in a coat that looked like it was made of calico cats.
"Are you Drew Maloney? Nephew of Greta Fanning?" The lawman stated rather than asked. I didn't like that.
"Who wants to know?" I asked.
"Boy, I asked you a question, you will answer that question." He stated in no uncertain terms, differences in the classes showing brightly now. No doubt he took this as a great opportunity to get a cheap shot at the well off in the area.
"I am a private citizen on private property, deputy, and under no duress to answer any questions from you. Any questions you have for this estate are to pass through Mr. Wallace Oberdorfer in Los Angeles. You can reach him at 555-6614." I stated coldly.
"Please, both of you." The woman interrupted as the Deputy took a step toward me. She turned away from him to face me.
"I am Marissa Mendenhall, Department of Child Welfare. I am looking for Drew Maloney, who was staying with his Aunt Greta Fanning. The next-door neighbor said that he could be found here. I can return with a warrant if necessary, but I hope we can avoid unpleasantness." She said in a kind voice.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Drew all spiffed up in my clothes, and he looked breathtaking.
"I'm Drew Maloney. What do you want?" He asked cautiously.
Marissa approached us unsteadily, snow crunching under her boots until she was at the bottom of the steps. She looked at us with a careworn face that had seen much strife. I began to get nervous at that look; there was nothing good coming from it.
"Drew, the storm last night made a lot of trees go down all over town. There was a large oak next to your aunt's house; it's been there since my mother was a little girl. I'm afraid it fell on her house, honey. It went through the bedroom and fell all the way to the first floor. Your aunt passed away, I am so sorry." She said slowly and with obvious effort.
"No, no that can't be. She called just last night, that can't be." Drew began to say, again and again like a mantra, his grip on my shoulder becoming painful.
Before I even realized it we were all in the kitchen and Marissa was doing her best to calm Drew, as was I. The deputy seemed to soften under the conditions, but held his tongue mercifully.
"Honey," Marissa began, "Do you have any other family around?" She asked. Drew shook his head no.
"I didn't think so, the lady that lived next door said you didn't but I had to ask. I'm sorry to spring this on you as well, but I'm afraid I have to take you in as a ward of the state honey. I'm really very sorry. If you could just get your things togeth..." She never got to finish as we were both instantly howling that she could not do this. The deputy stepped in quickly and pushed me aside while he scooped the struggling Drew into a submission hold and dragged him out the back door. I was on my feet and heading after him when the elephantine woman stepped in my way, stiff-arming me and knocking me off balance.
"Don't make it any harder on him, it's horrible enough already!" She said quite forcefully.
"But you're taking him from me!" I screamed at her.
"I have no choice!" She snapped, "Do you think I like breaking kids hearts? I got into this line of work to help kids like him, and I promise I will do all I can for him. Calm down, please!"
I sat still staring at her; suddenly wracked with tears I could hear Drew's cries from outside, screaming for me. I tried to push by her again, but she easily outweighed me and knocked me back where I stumbled and landed on my backside.
"But he's my friend, I love him!" I wailed at her. She looked down at me, not unkindly and held her hand out to help me up. I stood with out her help and eyed her malevolently, tears standing out in my eyes.
"Look," She said rummaging in her handbag, "If you want to keep in touch, you can reach him through me. I can't tell you where he goes but you guys can maintain your relationship. I really am sorry about this, I don't enjoy it." She said softly as she handed me her card.
"He doesn't have the phone number or the address, he can't get in touch, can I give that to you?" I asked trying to keep the venom out of my voice.
"Sure, honey. I can wait for you to do that." She said and I retrieved a pen and paper with the address and phone number, and a small heart with our initials in it. She didn't even bat an eye as she read it, folded it into her hand and headed out. I went to the door and watched helplessly as they took Drew away from me.
The sheriff's vehicle pulled out of the drive and down the main road and I watched it go, eyes never leaving it until the snow hid it from view. I could see him up until the last, pressed to the glass. I wandered the house which now seemed to be without life or meaning, as silent and foreboding as they had been before Drew had brought this staid building to life. I wandered to my room and mechanically prepared to bathe.
I think I was in shock, I felt like an empty shell, the happiness I knew so briefly seemed to be extinguished. I showered listlessly and dried with equal disinterest. I dressed quietly in my daily garb, slacks and a button up shirt and spied Drew's used clothing discarded on the floor and sat down heavily on the bed. I felt unable to move as I stared at the garments that he had appeared in my life with. The faded but clean pants, so thin in places one thought they could see the skin underneath. The worn and slightly stained shirt and I remembered removing my tie so as to not make him uncomfortable.
I wondered where he was now, what they were telling or asking him, if he was ok. If he missed me as I missed him. If only I were close to my parents perhaps they would help me, if only...
I stood and picked up his shirt, his faded, threadbare shirt and well-worn pants. I held them to my face and inhaled, and felt the tears welling again and that incontrovertible sense of loss as his scent permeated my senses and tears welled in my eyes.
I also felt a sense of purpose. So many had thrown him away or given him up, I would not. I would fight in any way possible, and I knew what my first step had to be, and I headed for the phone. It leapt to life in my hand, as I was about to lift it from its cradle.
"Anderson residence." I answered, a bit unsteadily.
"It's me Quinn." Came a small voice.
"Drew? Drew! Where are you? Are you ok?" I nearly shouted.
"I'm ok, except that I miss you already." He said softly, barely audible through the phone. I felt my heart breaking listening to him.
"I love you Drew, and I will come to you. Somehow, I will." I said, trying to be brave and not cry with him on the line, trying not to make it any worse for him. I heard him sniffle and I felt myself sliding closer to the edge of losing control.
"You do? Really you do?" He asked.
"I do, with every bit of my soul, I do love you Drew Maloney." I said softly, but with purpose.
"You promise to find me Quinn? You won't forget me?" He asked in a small, plaintive voice.
"I swear it, Drew. I'll do anything to get you back."
"Quinn, I love you too. More than anything." He said so quietly I could tell he had people around him. "I have to go, I'll try to call you when I get wherever it is they're taking me. All I know is its north of here, maybe Reno. Kody went somewhere near there, so maybe that's where I'll go too." He said trailing off into a whisper. I heard a shifting on the line and the fat woman on the phone.
"We have paperwork to take care of, he'll have to call you another time, Mr. Anderson. Goodbye." I heard her say and before the phone went down I heard Drew yelling to let him say goodbye, calling her a great many names that I wasn't sure quite what they all meant.
I was sure they weren't flattering though.
Then the sound stopped and I was left with nothing but the static of a dead line.
The Child and Welfare office was only half staffed today with the storm, not that it was very big to begin with. Quinn had said that there were many people that lived here who worked in the local resorts and such, so perhaps many of them ended up passing through this combined office, filing for welfare or going to the unemployment office next door. I sat in a hard wooden chair, a can of Pepsi sitting next to me. I had been answering questions the piggy woman had been asking, but I only answered after she let me call Quinn. It wasn't for long, but he said what I needed to hear form him so maybe he won't forget about me too soon. I had a sinking feeling I'd never see him again.
The ancient IBM hummed away as Marissa tapped the keys, filling in my information and getting services set for me. The main street in town was mostly cleared when we had arrived, it seems they were better prepared in town than they were in the outlying areas. She wasn't that bad really, especially compared to the ones in Chicago, they had so many kids to look after it seemed as though you never got what you really needed from them. I was lucky because I had Greta, and now I had lost that too. Maybe Quinn would come visit me? Probably not, not where they'll send me. He'd be afraid, and I can't say I blame him too much, but he's afraid of what he doesn't understand. Maybe he'll try though; maybe I'm enough for him. I hope so anyway.
"Ok, I think we're just about done here. You'll be going up North tomorrow, the road will be clear then. We got it worse here than the Mount Rose Highway did, and they are working on it now. I have to take you over to the sheriff now, they will transport you tomorrow." She said hesitantly. I didn't like the deputy, thought I'd like to take that gun and shoot his nuts off, might put him in a better mood. I stood reluctantly and she sighed heavily sitting at her desk again.
"Look, Drew, it's a lousy hand you've been dealt, I know. I won't try to kid you; the system here is pretty bad. We used to send kids like you to California, let them take care of you and we paid them for it. Now we have our own system, but I think we're actually saving money with it." She shook her head. "Once you get to Homer House you'll have a new case worker assigned to you, probably Tammy Bissette. I think you'll like her."
"Why would I like her?" I asked as I took my seat again.
"She had a boy like you not too long ago, she'll know how to protect you." She replied keeping her eyes locked to mine.
"Wh... What do you mean, a boy like me?" I asked nervously.
"I mean that you and Quinn Anderson seemed very close, you seemed very much." She hesitated, "You seemed to be in love."
Shock must have rolled across my face as she hurriedly told me it was all right, she had a cousin that was gay and her family hadn't taken it well, but she was sure Mrs. Bissette would take good care of me. I sat shocked, was it so plain to see? Kody told me he hid his feelings for so long precisely because people would be unreasonably difficult if they could see it. I panicked and stood quickly with fright evident on my face. She stood with me and took my wrist to steady me, but it made me even more nervous. I asked numbly where the bathroom was and she walked me there, out the door of her office and down the hall.
I walked into the stall and fell to my knees heavily, barely aware of the sharp pain of my knees hitting the tile floor. She knew, she had seen. What if others saw? What if that deputy saw? What would he say or do to me? I felt a shiver, uncontrolled and a ball of ice formed in my stomach. I strained to keep my breakfast down, the one I made for Quinn and myself but the thought that I might never see him again came back to me very strongly and I upended it's contents in the toilet, heaving until my sides hurt. I felt a comforting hand rubbing on my back, but it failed to ease my discomfort at all. My head hung in despair as I thought back to that first kiss, and desperately I wished for another.
I slowly regained my feet and was escorted back to her desk where I sat heavily in the sturdy wooden chair. Dimly I heard her tell me to drink some Pepsi to settle my stomach, and I may have even done so. I am not really sure how long I sat there, but eventually she walked me next door to the Sheriff's office. The deputy on duty had changed and he seemed to be in better spirits than the previous one. Once again I was relegated to a wooden chair and I sat while they held a discussion in hushed tones. After a short while she approached me and squatted down to speak on my level.
"Drew, officer Humphries is going to keep you in a holding unit overnight. There will be someone from upstate here tomorrow to take you to the Homer House facility, you'll be looked after there." She finished, although her eyes said there was more she wished to say, there seemed to be no words.
Holding Cell is what she should have said, cause that's all it was. Six by six with bars and everything, a small stained cot and a toilet. The door had closed with a solid clang and only the retreating footsteps were heard before the outer door closed and I was alone in silence.
I cried bitter tears that night and wrapped myself in the memory of that kiss and his words to sleeps in. Please, Quinn, please please don't forget me.