She had that air about her, you know? You just knew that she played some kind of sport, and when she got close enough I knew which sport it was. She smelled like chlorine and her face was red and dry from it. We started talking and at one she smiled and that was it. I just could not get over her smile. I just wanted to look at her and make her smile.
Whenever I saw Charlie my breathing became heavy and my stomach felt like it was floating. I found myself thinking about her all the time. But I had to stop, right? I mean, this wasn't normal. I started forcing thoughts of her out of my head One day she asked me to go to the movies. Of course I said yes.
"So I thought we would see New Moon, if that's alright with you."
"Ya, I have been wanting to see that so that's perfect!"
She smiled at this and I couldn't help but smile back.
The movie was a bust and we both knew. We talked about it on our way to her car she had parked a block away and we decided to take shortcut through an alley.
She pushed me against the wall and kissed me. It had come from out of nowhere and I didn't know what to do. And then I kissed her back. What the hell was I doing! I stopped our kiss and stepped away from her.
"Mickie?"
Mickie? We just kissed in a dark alley and all she could say was Mickie?
I got angry then. I mean, how long was I running from this whole gay thing just to have all my barriers breakdown from one kiss.
" You can't just kiss someone like that Charlie! You can't just do that. I can't do that! I have to go!"
I turned to leave but she grabbed my arm.
"Mickie I know you like me. I have seen the way you look at me, and I like you too."
She started walking toward me and I slunk back against the wall.
" I'm going to kiss you again."
"Please don't, I ....
And then she did it. She kissed me again. I feel my stomach float and there was nothing left for me to do but melt into her arms. I kissed her back and this time did not pull away.
At first it was soft; her lips caressing mine. Then something came over me. I had been fighting this kind of urge for so long, and now I didn't have to. I went into a crazy fit of passion, I began kissing her harder and flipped our bodies so that I was pressing her up against the wall. I took her hands and pinned them above her head, our fingers intertwined as I pressed them against the brick. Kissing her felt so good, I couldn't get enough of her. I slid my hands down her arms, pass her breasts and around her hips. She pressed into me harder and I lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around me. And then I stopped kissing her. She gasped and we rested our foreheads against one another; her back against the brick with her legs around my waist.
I couldn't believe I had just done that. My phone started to vibrate in my pocket and it brought me back to reality. This was another girl that I was embracing, not some cute guy at the beach. I bet she would look good at the beach. Dammit!!
I unwrapped her legs from my waist and set her on her feet. She actually wobbled a little before standing straight.
"I have to go."
" what? Now"
" yes "
I turned away and ran. It didn't matter that I was miles away from campus and my warm bed, I just continued running. I thought I heard my name being called behind me, but I didn't stop. I played softball and ran all the time. She was a swimmer, she couldn't catch me.
Math class happens three times a week; Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Today was Tuesday. As long as I avoided going outside as much as possible, I should be safe. But, dammit! I would have to see her tomorrow. I'm not allowed to miss class unless the trainer says I'm too sick. I went about my day as I normally would. Except I peeked around the corner before running to my next hiding place, and I avoided the girls bathroom like it contained the plague.
Wednesday. Ok, Mickie, you can do this. Just keep your head down, don't look at her. I was sitting in my seat and nobody else was there yet. All softball players had to be fifteen minutes early to every class. I'll just keep my head down the whole time. Someone walked through the door and I fought the urge to see who it was. Their footsteps got closer and I held my breath. They passed and sat at the back. Whoo, wasn't her. I picked my head up. I mean, why was I cowering like this? Because I may have ravaged some girl in the alley? Oh ya. I put my head back down. Three more people passed before someone stopped at my row. It was her, I could smell the chlorine; she had just come from practice. I loved the smell of chlorine on her. She didn't sit, she just stood there. Then she leaned over and I felt her warm breath in my ear.
" If you don't meet me in the bathroom in two minutes I am going to kiss you right here in front of everybody."
I looked at her horrified. She nodded and walked out of the classroom. I put my head back down on the desk and counted. 1 2 3 4......60. And it would take me one minute to get there.
I stood in front of the door, just staring at the female representation on the front. I felt like it was screaming at me, like it knew what I was thinking.
"Stupid stick-figure"
I opened the door and Charlie was standing at the end of the room, underneath the window.
"why did you run away?"
" you know why, it's the same reason you were able to get me in here by threatening to kiss me. Its because you kissed me."
She took a step closer. Her hair was still wet from practice.
" you kissed me back."
"Because you kissed me! It was your fault, and I panicked."
" It was MY FAULT? What happened was my fault? So then I must of just imagined you throwing me up against the wall and kissing me so passionately I thought I was going to have an orgasm right then and there."
" ew, don't say things like that. And ya, maybe you did imagine it."
" what are you twelve? Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm! Shit! It wasn't anybody's fault. Its not something to be ashamed of.......Mickie......I know you felt what I felt. And I know that, like me, you've never felt that way before."
"I......." I shook my head, "that's a load of crap!"
" AHHH! I'll prove it to you!"
She just ran at me. I didn't have time to move out of the way. We slammed into the stall door and stumbled into the tiny cubicle. I tried to get away but she had me pinned to the wall. She began to kiss my neck.....it felt so good....NO! I thrashed again but she held on even tighter. She moved her way up to my lips, and she kissed them. That feeling! In the moment there is no fighting that feeling. And I kissed her this time. I kissed her hard. She stopped holding me so tight and I pushed her against the other wall. We were a ball of passion. Our hands raced everywhere and once again I lifted her up and she put her legs around me. And once again I stopped kissing her. She immediately jumped down and shut the stall door. She knew that the running came next, and she wasn't going to let it happen again. I looked at her and then put my head against the wall. She put her hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. I knew she saw the tears run down my cheeks.
" Mickie, look at me."
I shook my head.
" look at me right now."
I took a deep breath and turned to face her. I looked into her eyes and she looked back into mine. She cupped my face in her hands and then hugged me. My body shuddered in her embrace and she hugged tighter. Finally I put my arms around her and began to feel a little better.
" listen to me, I want to be with you. There is nothing wrong with that. I need to know if you want to be with me. We can take it slow; keep it hidden for a while if it will help you."
I pulled away and looked at her. And we kissed. But this kiss was different. This kiss was the signing of a document, an agreement. We both wanted to be with each other. But we would take it slow; keep it hidden....for a while.
If I should keep writing this let me know at trumpetball18@aol.com