Chasing Rainbows

Chasing Rainbows Part 3

The dinner party my sister gave for me was just for family. It was relaxed and pleasant, including all my favorite dishes, and there seemed to be an air of something - anticipation, perhaps? - in the atmosphere. Was Gregor going to wheel out a cake at the end and have a scantily clad young lady pop out?

They'd had no qualms doing that at my bachelor party so many years earlier, but they wouldn't do that with Portia here. I pushed the notion, as amusing as it was fanciful, from my mind.

Once dinner was finished, we went into the family room, and Gregor placed a disc into the DVD player.

"We're going to watch a movie?" I asked, a little disappointed that my last night with my family would be spent in that manner.

"Family movies, Bryan." Portia smiled at me.

Father had obtained a movie camera from somewhere, but he was always away, and so Mother had learned to take the movies. At first, her handling of the camera was shaky, but as her brood grew, so did her skill with filming us.

"On DVD?"

"Quinton knows someone."

I smiled at my nephew. "Of course he does."

Gregor handed me the remote control, then dimmed the lights and took a seat. I pressed the 'play' button, and the show began.

An elegantly lettered placard filled the screen: The Life and Times of Bryan Blackburn Sebring, Esq.

"That's a very Hollywood touch, don't you think, Bry?"

"Yes, it is, Jeff. Quinn, please be sure to thank whoever put this together."

Mother was in the large four-poster in her bedroom. Cradled in her arms was an infant who was howling - we could tell even without the benefit of sound - at the indignities he'd been put through.

I wondered who had filmed this. Perhaps one of the servants.

"That's you, Bry," Jeff said.

"Are you sure? It could have been you. Or even Tony!"

"No, no, it's you all right, little brother. The wallpaper in Mother's bedroom is different. Father had it done over for her." Tony laughed softly. "She had gone to New York City to do some shopping, and when she came home, it was to find these huge cabbage roses all over her bedroom walls. She wasn't happy, I remember!"

"Why did he do that? I don't remember him ever being interested in the house's decor."

In the light of the television, I could see Tony's face became shut off.

"And besides... " Jeff was apparently oblivious. "... here comes Tony, and I'm right behind him."

Sure enough, my brothers, eight and five years old, walked toward the bed, Jeff more cautious than Tony. Mother smiled at them and held me out so they could inspect me. She said something to Tony, and he took the infant me from her arms. The camera zoomed in just as I stopped crying.

"You always could get the sprout to quiet down, Tony." Jeff laughed softly.

"I could, couldn't I?" Tony sounded pleased.

The scenes played out with me tagging along behind my big brothers as I usually did - in the wooden fort one of the gardeners had built for them before I was born, on the apple trees in the orchard where we'd eaten so many green apples we'd all got bellyaches, in the pond where Tony had taught me to swim and where we'd whiled away those lazy summer days.

Then Portia joined the family, and it was the four of us.

"Good god! Did you know she was around when we were playing hide and seek?" I demanded.

"Are you kidding? Tony and I were too busy trying not to laugh every time she would point out where you were hiding."

"How unsporting of me!" Portia made no attempt to stifle her laughter.

"Brat." But I said it without heat.

The years continued to pass on film, Christmases and birthdays, my graduation from Phillips Exeter, formal affairs where I escorted young ladies during their come-out, and finally commencement ceremonies at Harvard.

A series of still photos were included that had been taken at various government functions.

"Who knew the sprout would look so good in a tux?"

"It runs in the family," Portia said. "And of course Quinton got a double dose of it, because Nigel also was terribly handsome in formalwear." She nodded toward the TV screen.

Tony, Jeff, and I were dressed in morning suits, standing with a proud but surprisingly nervous Nigel Mann as we waited for Father to walk Portia down the aisle.

There was my own wedding...

"I must say, you look cool as a cucumber, Bryan," Ludovic remarked.

Jeff laughed. "In that case, you'd better not play poker with him, Ludo. Just before that was taken, I was holding his head over the commode."

"Thank you so much for spoiling my image, Jefferson."

"Nerves, little brother?" Tony appeared to be nonplussed, but I just hunched a shoulder.

And then came a scene of me with a very young Quinton. I was on a horse, walking him in figure eights, while my small nephew, in the saddle before me, held onto the reins with two determined hands.

"What a shame Johanna couldn't carry to term, Bryan. You would have been a wonderful father."

"This was at the manor, wasn't it?" I asked, not wanting to talk about it. "Did you take these, Portia?"

"No. See? Here I come on Gingerbread." She was riding a chestnut mare. "What a sweetheart you were, Quinton." A soft smile lit Portia's face. "Not to say you aren't still a sweetheart."

"Thank you for that, Mother."

"You're welcome. Mother must have taken these, Bryan. Do you know, we have so few movies of her."

"So few pictures at all." I became lost thought.

It must have been difficult for our mother. Father was always polite to her, but never overtly affectionate, and we picked up our cues from him. When we went to the manor house, it was to see him, to talk business, pausing in our conferences with him to greet Mother with the same reserve that we'd learned from him.

Although Portia had grown closer to her once she'd left the business.

I regretted that lost opportunity.

I gave a start when the DVD ended and the lights came on. Tony went to the DVD player to eject the disc. He put it in a case and handed it to me.

"With our love, little brother."

"Thank you." I blinked rapidly, then glanced at the others. "Thank you all."

Gregor must have stepped out of the room while the DVD was still playing. He returned with a tray bearing brandy snifters and offered the first one to me.

"Thank you, Gregor."

"How will you bear living in the wild west, Uncle Bryan?" Quinn took two snifters and gave one to his mother.

"Hardly wild, Quinn."

"Oh, no? The denizens of Los Angeles are strange."

"Any more strange than those who live in your Capital?" Ludo asked.

"Are you calling me strange, pet?" Jeff frowned, but it was easy to see he wasn't angry.

"Perish that thought!" Ludo laughed at him.

Jeff accepted two brandies from Gregor. He strolled across the room, leaned down to brush his lips across his lover's mouth, and gave him a snifter.

"Aren't you a little old to be doing that?" Portia stared pointedly at the white wings at Jeff's temples, very noticeable against his chestnut hair, but I could see the laughter in her eyes.

"The day I'm too old to kiss Ludo is the day I'll be ready to resign... " They had been together for almost twenty-five years.

"Really, Jefferson!" It was Tony who objected.

"Oh, damn. I'm sorry, Bry!"

"Why?" I shrugged. "I did resign."

"Not because Holmes is the better man." Tony scowled into the dark amber liquid in his glass.

"That's the truth," Quinn asserted. "It's a good thing I don't have to deal with him on a day- to-day basis. I'd probably wind up shooting him."

"Why not shoot him anyway? We'll all help you hide the body. And we could blame Vincent."

No one needed to ask who Vincent was - we all knew of the senior WBIS agent who had a reputation for getting the job done no matter what the cost. Or the odds.

"I hear he's after Sperling," I murmured.

"Who's that?" Ludo asked.

"Deputy Director of Interior Affairs at the WBIS. He cost Vincent a good team a few years ago," Quinn said.

"That's right. I heard that too."

"How'd a Deputy Director of Interior Affairs get involved with one of Vincent's operations?"

Quinn's mouth crooked up in a grin. "Now that's an interesting story."

"Are you going to tell us?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"Why talk about business tonight?" Tony spoke, surprising us all.

"Are you feeling well, Anthony?"

"There are other things to be concerned with than the government." He frowned at Jeff.

Jeff jumped up, strode to his side, and shook him. "Who are you, and what have you done with our brother?"

"Ass." Tony cuffed him and laughed. "If you're quite finished now? Very well. I'd like to propose a toast. To my little brother. May you be as happy on the West Coast as you've been here on the East Coast."

"Happier," Portia murmured. She came to me and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, little sister."

"The CIA's loss is 'CIA's' gain." It was Jeff's turn.

"Pip, dear chap." Ludovic held up his snifter.

"Show the lovelies in LaLa Land how it's done in DC!" Gregor's grin was wicked.

"God bless, Uncle Bryan." Quinn touched his snifter to mine.

"Thank you." I stood and raised my glass to my family, but had to pause to clear my throat before I said again, "Thank you all."

I finished my brandy and hurled the glass into the fireplace. There was a moment of startled silence, and I realized what I had done.

"Portia, I'm sorry! I hope that wasn't your good crystal!"

"It doesn't matter." She followed suit, and one by one so did the others.

The party began to break up after that.

Quinton's cell phone rang, and he glanced apologetically at Portia. "Sorry, Mother." He left the room to take the call.

She sighed and shook her head. "He's gotten so involved with the Company. I wish he had more of a life outside it."

"Hasn't he been seeing... What was her name? The blonde doctor who was working for the CDC?"

"Marnie? He saw her a few times, then used the excuse of having to go out of the country to break it off. When he returned, he started seeing Susan Burkhart."

"The name sounds familiar. Should I know it?" Tony asked.

"Possibly. She works at Justice," I told him.

"Ah." He shook his head.

"He seems to have no desire to get serious about anyone. I'm afraid he'll become as cool as Nigel and I were reputed to be." Portia really did look worried.

"He'll be fine, little sister."

"I just hope he finds someone who will make him happy."

We all heard her unspoken words, Before it's too late.

"He'll be all right," Tony said. "After all, he's as much a Sebring as a Mann."

"I'll have him out to California as soon as I get settled and introduce him to someone who'll distract him long enough to get his mind off Company business."

"Of course you will." Portia smiled and pinched my chin.

"Well, it's a long ride back to Shadow Brook," Jeff murmured. "Ludo and I had better start now."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"We don't want to put you out."

"Idiot. You know there's plenty of room."

"In that case, thank you." Ludovic took her hand and kissed it. "We'd love to."

"Excellent. You can take the room you usually stay in. I think you've left some spare clothes as well."

"I'll confess I wasn't looking forward to the long drive home." .Jeff turned to me. "Take care of yourself, Bryan. We'll see you over the holidays, won't we?"

"Of course. It wouldn't be Christmas or New Year's otherwise."

"Good."

"Stay well, Bryan."

"You too, Ludo."

"I'll just make sure you have fresh towels. I'll be right back." Portia walked out with them.

Gregor looked around. "Well, I may as well get started cleaning up the glass."

"I'm sorry about that, Gregor. I didn't mean to cause extra work for you."

He waved aside my apologies. "It's been a while since we did that in this house. I think the last time was when Quinn was promoted to Deputy Director. He'll really be fine once he gets his ashes hauled." He left to get a broom and dust pan.

Tony and I were alone for the second time in less than a week. I shifted uncomfortably, unsure whether to go or stay.

"You're getting sentimental in your old age, Bry." His sudden words caused me to jump, and it took a second for my heartbeat to return to normal.

"Why do you say that?"

"I may need glasses to read, but my eyes are still sharp enough to spot tears. I saw how touched you were by those old movies."

"You caught me, big brother."

He smiled and turned to stare at the fireplace, and I took the opportunity to drink in his features. They had sharpened somewhat with age, but they still took my breath away. His hair was so blond that if there were any white strands, they blended in. His body...

"Do you think Quinn still has to find his special someone, or has he been brought down by the bane of the Sebrings?"

"What are you talking about? What bane?"

"Of only loving once."

"Oh, god, I hope not!" I thought of all the years I had spent in a lonely bed. It had been lonely, even when Johanna had lain beside me. "We haven't been very lucky in love."

He looked at me sadly. "You're still upset about your divorce, aren't you? I'm sorry I brought up the subject."

"It's all right, Tony." I gave a short laugh. "And at least one Sebring has found lasting love."

"That's true. Who would have thought? Jeff was always hopping from bed to bed."

"He seems very happy with Ludo, though. And Ludo seems very happy with him." I couldn't prevent a wistful smile from curving my lips. I wished I'd been so lucky.

"Hmmm." Tony changed the subject abruptly. "What time does your flight leave in the morning, Bryan?"

"9:45. I'd better get going if I want to get any sleep."

"I'd like to talk to you."

"Tonight?" My voice cracked as it hadn't since I'd been an adolescent, and I realized I was nervous. I cleared my throat. "Tonight?"

"Yes, if you... "

Quinn hurried into the room. There was an impatient twist to his mouth. "Uncle Tony, I'm sorry, all hell is breaking loose at the Pentagon. I won't be able to drive you home."

"That's all right. Bryan can give me a lift. That is, if you don't mind, little brother?"

"No." For a second he looked startled and disappointed. I clarified. "I don't mind."

"Thanks."

"Yes, thank you, Uncle Bryan. I've got to get going. Take care of yourself."

"I'll see you at Christmas." We shook hands, and he left.

"Who's driving our nephew crazy?" Tony asked.

"That would be Major Drum."

"Jonathan's son?"

"Yes." Since I was CIA, I was more familiar than Tony with what was going on between the Company and the Pentagon. "It seems every time Quinn turns around, Drum is nagging him for favors."

"Does Drum, the second, have the hots for Quinn?"

"Like Drum, the first, had for Jeff?" I shrugged and smiled. "It's possible, although with 'don't ask, don't tell,' I don't think it's likely to be acted upon."

"Does Quinn have any feelings for him?"

"I'd have to say no. Firstly, I don't believe Quinn is inclined that way, and secondly, even if he were, I've seen him when he's been even remotely interested in someone, and he tolerates the Major at most." This couldn't be what he wanted to talk about. "Tony... "

"Shall we be on our way?"

"Of course. Let's find Portia and say goodbye." I picked up the DVD and slipped it into my pocket, and we walked out of the room and toward the curving stairway just off the front foyer. Portia was just coming back down the stairs.

"You're leaving? Bryan, remember there is such a thing as the telephone. Call once in a while." She kissed my cheek.

"Yes, Portia." I returned her kiss.

"Goodbye, little sister."

"Tony. You're sure... ?" She rested her palm against his cheek.

"I am."

"All right, then. Goodbye."

What was that about?

She kissed him too, then opened the door and shivered. It was a cool night.

Tony and I walked to my car, a sporty little fire engine red convertible. The family thought I'd been having some kind of emotional crisis when I'd bought it, but none of them turned down an opportunity to ride in it.

The top was up. After all, it was fall, even if we were in Virginia.

I decided to take the bull by the horns. "You said that you wanted to talk to me."

He was silent for so long I thought he'd changed his mind.

"Tony, have I done something to displease you?" As old as I was, he was still the big brother I... idolized.

"Good god, no!"

"Then what is it?"

He stopped and took a deep breath. "After I spoke to you the other day, I handed in my resignation."

"What? Tony, you love the NSA. You can't give it up!"

"I thought you loved the CIA."

I shook my head. "Too many things have changed. It was easier than I thought it would be to walk away from it."

"Yes. I found it easier than I'd thought also."

I felt a little numb. "What are you going to do?"

He smiled, but the look in his eyes was uncertain. "I'm moving out to California."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought it might be a good climate to retire to. Bryan, I'd like for us to share a house, but if you'd rather not... "

My heart started pounding. "Why, Anthony? You know how I feel about you."

"Even now? Even after all these years?"

"Even now. Sebrings only love once."

"But what about Johanna?"

"I thought... " Oh, hell, I was tired of burying my feelings. "I thought, if I couldn't have you, it didn't matter who I had. And one of us needed to give Father a grandson to carry on the name."

"Only it didn't turn out the way."

"No. It didn't."

"But you were happy with her, weren't you?"

"No. Oh, we weren't miserable, and I tried to be good to her, but... " I pressed the remote. The car chirruped, and the doors unlocked. "Get in, Anthony."

He lowered himself to the seat with a grunt and was buckled up by the time I went around to the driver's side and slid into the front seat.

"Why weren't you happy with her?"

"Because she wasn't you, goddamn it!"

He seemed taken aback by my vehemence. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to stand in the way of your happiness." He looked out the window. "All those years ago... I thought you'd be ... Do you remember what I told you?"

"Of course. You said that what I felt wouldn't last beyond our first sunrise together."

I hadn't asked him why he'd been so sure of that, coming instead to the conclusion that he was reluctant to indulge me because he simply hadn't loved me like that, and what could be more tedious than ... It had been too painful to pursue that thought, and so I'd turned to women who wanted nothing more than to be seen on my arm, and eventually I'd married my wife.

"Maybe... maybe that would have been true, Tony, but I would still have had that one night."

"And you would have been happy with that?

"If that was all I could get?" I started to pull my seatbelt across my chest, grateful for a reason to avert my face. "I would have grabbed it with both hands."

"You were only eighteen, Bryan. I thought you were blinded by patriotic fervor and the uniform I wore. And of course Jeff made being involved with another man seem so easy."

"Easy? Are you out of your mind? Did you ever wonder why he took self-defense classes?"

"I thought he learned that in the Army."

"He learned more in the Army, but he started taking lessons when he was thirteen. It was Mother's idea, would you believe it? He came home from the movies with a black eye and a split lip."

"And where was I?"

"You were at Harvard, Tony. You couldn't be around to protect us all the time."

"But if you realized how difficult it could be... "

"You still don't understand, do you? I'm a Sebring, Tony. I didn't want a man in uniform. I didn't want any man." Briefly I thought of Frank Holloway. "All I wanted was you."

"Bry... "

"I'm sorry." I ran the heels of my hands under my eyes, jammed the key into the ignition, and turned it on with a vicious twist.

Before I could put the car in gear, he turned it off.

"I was wrong to tell you what you felt wouldn't last."

"Then why did you?"

"I was so afraid!"

"You were afraid?" I felt as if I'd been hit in the head with a 2x4. He'd been awarded the Bronze Star not once, but twice. "Of what?"

"Of you, Bryan. You were so young. You hadn't even begun to live. And you were my little brother!"

"After I told you that I ... After I told you how I felt, you stopped calling me that. I missed hearing it."

"It didn't seem to take you long to be over whatever it was you thought you'd felt for me; you seemed happy to be with women, and I... "

"Were you blind?"

"I stopped coming around, if you'll recall. I was terrified I'd run into you one day, and I just wouldn't be strong enough to keep my hands to myself. I'd back you against a wall, and it wouldn't matter that it was in Mother's house, in plain sight for her or Father or Jeff or Portia - oh, god, especially Portia! - to see! I'd have had your trousers down around your ankles so fast you would have wondered what the fuck your big brother had for brains."

I couldn't catch my breath. My cock was harder than it had been in years. "And... " I swallowed. "And what would you have done to me, once you had my trousers down around my ankles?"

"Whatever you would have let me do. Suck you. Fuck you."

"But you never did."

"You were eight years younger."

"I still am."

"Yes, but I'm tired of being noble. And besides, somehow it doesn't matter as much now. It's occurred to me that people in California aren't going to care much that a couple of old men are living together, especially since we're brothers. If anyone asks, we'll just tell them... "

"It's none of their fucking business. They won't believe us anyway, you know. They'll think we're gay."

"Does that matter so much to you?"

"Y'know, big brother," I laid my fingertips against his face and ran my thumb over his cheekbone, "for someone who's supposed to be such a smart man, you really don't have much going on between your ears. It never mattered to me."

"So you love me anyway?"

"I've always loved you, Tony." It didn't escape me that he hadn't said he'd loved me. He loved me as his brother, and that was enough. "Just... "

"What?"

"Be gentle with me, all right? It will be my first time." I couldn't help laughing a bit, even as I looked away in embarrassment. That was so cliche.

"Bryan, what are you saying? That you never... "

"Not with a man, no."

"But I thought... "

"It was you, Tony. It was only you. Don't you understand? If I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone."

"Oh, little brother." He cupped my chin and turned my head to meet his eyes. "All these wasted years."

I gave a watery laugh. "Not wasted if they've finally got us to here."

He leaned forward and kissed me for the first time. It was closed mouthed and chaste, but it was the most erotic kiss I'd ever had, and I was whimpering and shivering by the time he drew back.

"I love you, you know."

"I know."

"I don't think you do. It's not just because we share the same blood. It nearly killed me, all these years, knowing you were just out of my reach... You're my one love, Bryan."

"Oh, god, Tony!" I unbuckled my seatbelt and threw myself at him, cursing the console that separated us. I covered his face with kisses, petting his arms and chest, incoherent with my desire to have him as close to me as I could get him.

He laughed and stroked my hair, brought my mouth to his and kissed me again, then wrapped his arms around me and leaned his forehead against mine. "Come back to my place, little brother?"

Startled, I looked around. "Oh, my god! We've been necking in front of our sister's house!" I got myself back into the driver's seat, buckled up, and turned on the ignition.

He laughed again, and this time he let me put it in drive.

"I just have one question."

"And what's that, big brother? Who's pitching, and who's catching?"

"No. Well, yes, that too."

"Then...?"

"What are we going to tell Portia?"

"I'm sure we'll think of something." I reached over and stroked his thigh, then eased the gas pedal down and headed for the road that would take us home.

It was very early the next morning. I stood by the window in Tony's bedroom, watching the sky lighten. He came to stand beside me, his arm a warm weight on my shoulder.

"Our first sunrise."

"The first of many." I turned in his arm and kissed him, then leaned my cheek against his.

"Any regrets, little brother?"

"None, big brother. You were worth waiting for."

We settled in to life in Los Angeles, and it was like a honeymoon, better even than the time I'd spent with Johanna in Hawaii. I never knew my older brother to be so relaxed, and I... I was almost giddy with a joy I never thought I'd feel.

Tony wasn't pleased with the place Jerry had found for me, a one bedroom apartment that would never hold all the furniture he intended to have shipped from the East Coast, although I didn't care as long as we were together.

During the week, Tony caught up on reading all the books he'd never had time for, and on the weekends we went looking for a house.

We finally found one that he fell in love with at first sight. It was supposed to have belonged to Ramon Navarro, and Tony was so thrilled by that fact that it really hurt to tell him the house had actually been built the year after the silent-screen star had died.

It needed a lot of work, but because of that, we got it for a very good price, and while I was at the studio, Tony found a contractor and worked with him on its restoration.

We returned East for the holidays and stayed with Portia. Naturally, she put us in separate bedrooms.

At dinner that night, she said, "California must agree with you, Bryan. You're looking happier than I've seen you in a very long time."

"Good grief, don't tell me I went around looking like a sour puss!"

"Well, I won't, because you didn't, but it stood to reason life with Johanna would affect you."

I kissed her cheek and took my seat at the table. "I am happy, little sister, and I'll tell you why!" Tony raised an eyebrow, and I grinned at him. "I don't have to deal with Edward Holmes."

"And what's Tony's excuse? He's looking very self-satisfied himself."

"It's living with the younger generation." He grinned and winked at me. "Bryan's given me a new lease on life."

"I'm so glad you're both finally happy."

I looked at her sharply, but she was helping herself from the platter of sliced pork loin that Gregor was holding, and I couldn't see her expression. Tony just picked up his wine glass and took a sip.

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, I slipped down the hall to his room.

"You can't stay here long, little brother."

"I won't." I stripped off my robe and pajamas and got into bed beside him, and laughed when I realized he was naked under the covers.

His arms came around me. "You know you sleep like the dead after we've made love."

I showed him the watch I was wearing. "State of the art, big brother. It has an alarm that will wake me, guaranteed or my money back."

He nuzzled my ear. "It had better, or Portia is going to be very shocked!"

Afterwards, after I'd caught my breath and settled comfortably against him, he whispered in my ear, "Merry Christmas, Bryan."

Yes, it was a very merry Christmas.

That New Year's we stayed with Jeff and Ludo at the manor, and this time it was Tony who wandered down the hallway to the bedroom that had been mine as a boy.

It was only illuminated by the fire in the fireplace, and the crackling flames highlighted his fair hair.

He leaned back against the door, letting his weight close it. "Do you have that watch, little brother?"

"You bet." I held out my right wrist, then drew back the covers to show that this time I was the naked one. "Now hurry up and get in bed... "

He chuckled and within seconds was naked also. He got under the blankets and pulled me into his arms.

"It was never like this," I murmured, shivering as he stroked the curve of my hip.

"I'm selfish enough to be glad of that. I love you, Bryan."

I smiled against his throat. "Love you too, Tony." I shifted and couldn't prevent a sudden sharp gasp.

"What's wrong?"

"This damn Eastern winter! My hip doesn't like it!"

Tony angled me so my weight wasn't on my hip and rested his palm against it. The warmth of his palm felt good.

"It would be nice if we could have the family out to California next Christmas," he murmured.

"Yes, but Portia would miss going to Arlington to talk to Nigel. Maybe for New Year's?"

"In the renovated ballroom? That's a marvelous idea, little brother! We'll make plans with the others first thing in the morning."

"And right now?"

"Right now, I've got other plans, just for you!"

It was a good thing it was common knowledge that the winter bothered my hip. When we finally joined the others, late the next morning, no one questioned the fact that I was limping.

2002

My phone at the studio rang. "Bryan Sebring."

"It's Tony."

"Need me to come home and program the VCR, big brother?" That was his way of letting me know he wanted me home and in bed as soon as I could get there. The people I worked with must have thought he was a complete technophobe.

"I just wanted to let you know we'll be having company for dinner."

"Oh?" Which meant there would be no sex up against the wall in the foyer - my hip wasn't up to us making love on the floor. Oh well, there was always the bed afterwards. "Do you want me to pick something up?"

"No- Yes. A box of mac and cheese."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll explain when I see you. Bry, this is going to solve everything!"

"Okay." Although I didn't know what might need solving. "I'll see you in about an hour."

"Drive carefully, little brother."

When I let myself in the house, I could hear voices coming from the living room, and I made my way there.

Tony was in the arm chair that he'd seen at a shop that sold off the belongings of Hollywood actors and actresses whose stars no longer shined so brightly. 'It's Ramon Navarro's!'

It probably wasn't, but I indulged him.

On the loveseat was a breathtakingly beautiful young woman, and beside her was a little girl whose piquant face was framed by a mass of red-gold ringlets.

"You probably don't remember my brother, Cara. This is Bryan. Bryan, this is Cara Mia 'Nme. Allen Ford was her father."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Allen used to work for me."

"Ah." That explained why the name didn't ring a bell. "Cara Mia. It's nice to meet you."

"How do you do, Mr. Sebring? This is my daughter, Sunday."

Enormous blue-green eyes regarded me solemnly, and I felt my heart lurch. If Johanna and I had ever had a child, he would have had eyes much like this child's.

I crouched down and held out my hand. "How do you do? So you're the little lady I brought the mac and cheese for?"

"I love mac and cheese!" She smiled at me winsomely, and I couldn't help smiling in return. "May I help you make it?"

I sent a panicked look toward my brother. He better than anyone knew that my skills in the kitchen were limited to boiling water for tea or putting together a ham sandwich.

"How about if you help Mommy make it, sweet pea?"

"Okay, Mommy."

"I'll show you lovely ladies where the kitchen is." Tony took her elbow, grinned and winked at me, and ushered them toward the back of the house.

I trailed after them, puzzled.

"Bry."

"Yes, Tony?" I was driving us back from the small motel where we'd just dropped off Cara Mia and her daughter.

"She's in trouble."

"I noticed that scar over her collarbone." Sunday had grown sleepy and had gone to her mother to be picked up. The movement had caused Cara Mia's sweater to dip low, revealing the thin white line. "Did she tell you anything about it?"

"No, but from what she didn't say, I gathered her ex-husband is an abusive SOB. She did say she was worried for Sunday's safety. They were living in Manhattan when he showed up and made noises about taking the baby away from her. She changed her name and has been on the run since then."

"Want me to have someone take care of him?"

"We can't do that. Unfortunately. He comes from a prominent family. Meanwhile... "

"Yes?"

"This could be the perfect solution to our... our situation."

"Excuse me?"

"It's the least I could do, give Allen Ford's daughter and granddaughter a safe haven."

"What happened to him?"

"He was killed, a stupid mugging gone wrong... That's what we told his wife."

"Only it wasn't a mugging?" We were at a light, and I turned to look at him.

He hunched a shoulder. "The thing was, Allen liked the occasional male on the side." He shook his head. "I wish he had confided in me."

"No one outside the family knew about Jeff and Ludo. Ford wouldn't have thought it was safe."

Tony sighed. "You're right."

"So it could have been a mugging, or it could have been a hate crime."

"Or it could have been something else. He was working on some hush-hush projects at the time."

"Oh, damn."

"Exactly. We could never tell. At any rate, the investigation turned cold. Her mother moved the family away, and I lost track of them."

"What do Cara Mia and her daughter have to do with 'our situation'?"

"Don't you see? I can marry her!"

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, feeling as if he'd kicked me in the testicles. "Which bedroom do you intend me to take?" Or did he want me to move out completely?

"What are you- Bryan, don't be an ass. You're staying in the master with me!"

"I think it will be a little crowded, don't you? Besides, is Cara Mia that liberated?"

"She doesn't love me, and I don't love her, but they'll be safe with us." He cuffed the back of my head. "The house has six bedrooms. She and Sunday can take their pick of them."

"So- so things will stay the same between us?"

"You know, Bryan, I don't know how you can think they'd be any different!"

Oh, I didn't know. The man I'd loved all my life, who'd only confessed to returning that love less than a year before, could very well have decided that loving me was an interesting experiment but that he wanted a wife and children more. After all, he was a very potent man in spite of his age, and who knew that better than I?

"Bryan. I love you. You're my one love. Get that through your thick Blackburn skull!" He'd always teased me about being as stubborn as our mother's father.

"She's a young woman, though. What are you going to do when she wants the physical intimacy of marriage?"

"Didn't you notice she tended to shy away from either of us if we got too close?"

"Things change, Tony. What do we do then?" Because if she betrayed my brother, I'd have no qualms in finding her ex-husband and turning her over to him.

"We'll worry about that if and when."

"All right. Am I safe in assuming you haven't spoken to Cara Mia about this yet?"

"Well, of course I haven't! I wouldn't make a decision like this without talking to you about it first!"

The knot in my chest began unraveling. "Okay, then. If that's what you want to do."

"I'm glad we've got that sorted out." He started chuckling. "The family will think she's an old man's last fling!"

"You're not an old man, Tony!" I growled at him. I was willing to go along with it if that was what he wanted - I could see he was uncomfortable with letting the family know we shared a bed - but I didn't like them thinking he was becoming senile.

He reached across and stroked my cheek, and from the corner of my eye I could see his smile. "All that matters to me is that you don't think so."

And all that mattered to me was the love that I heard in his voice.

"Let's go home."

Want and need began pooling in the pit of my stomach, and I stepped on the gas.

The four of us were in the breakfast room. Tony and I looked on with pride as his new daughter and my new niece chattered away.

"An' I picked out that routine that Bugs and Daffy do on TV!" Sunday said around a mouthful of Frosted Flakes.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, sweet pea," Cara instructed her.

"Sorry, Mommy. You're coming to my recital, aren't you, Uncle Bry?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. We'll have flowers for you."

"You will?" She looked enraptured. "Mommy, I'll have flowers!"

"Of course, sweet pea. Have you finished your breakfast? Then go wash your hands and face. You don't want to be late for Pre K."

"Okay!" She hopped down off the chair and danced her way to the powder room. Tony and I were looking forward to seeing the little girl twirl her way across the stage.

"She's going to be the twenty-first century's Shirley Temple!"

"As long as she enjoys herself."

"How's the job hunting going?" Tony asked.

Cara had insisted on looking for a job, even though we could support her. She shrugged. "I have an interview at 10. We'll see how it goes."

"Well, if it doesn't pan out, I can ask my friend Jerry if he has anything available."

"Thank you, Bryan. I just might take you up on that."

Sunday came dancing back into the room. "All ready, Mommy."

"I'll walk you to the car." Tony put his napkin down and rose from the table.

Sunday came to me, holding her arms up. "Bye, Uncle Bry."

"Have a good day, munchkin." I gave her a gentle hug and a kiss on her cheek. It was nice having a child in the house, one who didn't look at me as if I were a combination of the Grinch and the Big Bad Wolf.

"C'mon, Daddy." She took Tony's hand.

Cara scooped up Sunday's Hello Kitty backpack and her own briefcase and called a quick, "Bye, Bryan!" as the three of them left the room.

I was about to refill our coffee cups when the phone rang. I recognized the number on the read out, smiled, and picked it up. "Casa Sebring."

"Bryan, we've got trouble!"

I listened tensely as Jefferson gave me the details, then said, "I'll make some calls, and we'll be there as soon as we can."

I had just hung up when Tony came sauntering in. "Do you have time for a little nap before you- " He saw the expression on my face, and the teasing note in his voice immediately vanished. "What's wrong?"

"Quinn's been kidnapped. Some rogue organization in Europe has him."

"What? Why?"

"No one seems to know. Other CIA officers have gone missing, and Quinn was sent to track them down, only- Jefferson's contacted Ben Monroe and his team to go in and get him out."

"I'll start packing. Oh, hell. Cara Mia and Sunday!"

"They won't be able to go."

"Of course not. It would break Sunday's heart if she had to miss that recital." His lips tightened. I could see it was breaking his heart that he was going to miss it as well. "I'll call Cara Mia."

"I can get in touch with Cisco, have him stay with them."

"John Cisco?"

"Yes. He's settled in West Hollywood."

"He's a good man. That sleaze she was married to hasn't turned up and they should be all right, but it might be a good idea if he kept an eye on them. Now, what about a flight?"

"I'll take care of that. You go get us packed." I knew someone who had a Lear jet. She could get us to DC in half the time it would take a commercial jet to do the distance. I picked up the phone and started to dial the first of the numbers I'd have to call.

"Thanks, Chili." I shook the young woman's hand, discreetly slipping the envelope with her fee into her palm.

"My pleasure, Mr. Sebring. Will you need me for the flight home?"

"I don't know how long we'll be staying here. We'll probably catch a commercial flight back to LA."

"Okay, then. I hope everything works out well for your nephew."

"Thanks. Have a safe flight."

She gave me a small salute and turned to stride jauntily back to see about the refueling of her jet.

"She's very pretty."

"Yes, although she wouldn't thank you for saying that." I extended the telescoping handle on my suitcase. "She's always endeavored to be one of the boys."

"She's also very young." Tony did the same, but he didn't seem ready to leave the airport just yet.

"She's thirty, and a very competent pilot."

"She's- "

I got a look at his face. "Tony, are you jealous?"

"Of course not. That's idiotic. Why would I- " His shoulders sagged. "Yes, I am."

I bumped my shoulder against his. "Don't be, big brother. I waited almost three quarters of my life for you. I'm not about to trade in what we have for anything or anyone!"

"Neither am I, little brother." He draped his arm over my shoulder, and we began walking toward ground transportation where we'd find a taxi to take us to Great Falls.

Portia's house was like an armed camp. She sat in stony silence, while, contrary to our usual care around our sister, Jeff swore in six languages and Gregor paced the room, every once in a while his ire escaping him in a torrent of Czech. Ludo emerged from the kitchen with a tray bearing a china teapot and cups, setting it down on the coffee table.

"What's going on?"

"Portia told Ben Monroe not to go."

"Jefferson, I simply told him to hold off for a couple of days. It was going to take him a week as it was. What's the fuss?"

"Yes, what is the fuss?"

"Oh, no, don't you start, Bryan!"

"The fuss is that Mark Vincent is going in his place!"

"Vincent? How did the WBIS get involved in this?"

"They... uh... " Gregor sent a look toward Portia, and I wondered about that. "They lost some people too."

"Tony, sit down." I fixed a cup of tea the way he liked it and handed it to him. "Now drink this. It will sooth your choler."

He scowled at me but sat down and took the cup.

"Now then. What, exactly, are we going to do?"

Portia met my eyes. "We're going to wait twenty-four hours. That's how long Mark Vincent assured me it would take."

"Yeah, but Portia- " Gregor started to protest.

"You all know his reputation. If anyone can get Quinton out of the hands of that madman, it will be him."

"But if he doesn't?"

She smiled, and I suddenly shivered. I'd never seen such a cold smile on my sister's face.

We were sitting around the dining room table playing bridge for a penny a point, none of us winning, and Tony and I losing badly, since we couldn't keep our minds on the cards.

"What time is it?"

"Ten minutes later than the last time you asked, Gregor."

"Goddammit! Why is it taking Vincent so long to call?"

"Remember the time difference."

"Fuck the time difference! Vincent keeps saying he's the best, so why hasn't he- "

"Shhh. I hear Portia coming."

She entered the room, her eyes a little red, but her lips curved in a smile.

"Quinton's all right?"As the oldest, Tony spoke for us.

"He's all right. He'll be home within another twenty-four hours."

"Y'see?" Gregor gave a decisive nod. "I knew it!"

"Yes, Gregor."

"And he didn't really need Vincent to get him out of it, did he?"

"He couldn't go into details, but yes, I'm afraid he did."

"Excuse me." Gregor's face was somewhat red, as if he were bottling his anger, and I wondered whether there was something beyond the fact that Vincent was a WBIS agent that disturbed him so much. "I'm going to make some coffee."

"Sounds like a good idea," I said.

Portia was still smiling, but she looked so worn it broke my heart.

We all followed Gregor into the kitchen that was more his than hers.

"Useless. We were absolutely fucking useless!"

No one said anything, and Gregor made no move to fill the stainless steel coffeepot with water or to grind the coffee beans.

Tony began first, swearing with a flare that would have stunned any who were unfamiliar with him. Jefferson picked up the litany of purple phrases, and then I, and finally Gregor.

Ludovic shook his head and began to get the coffee ready, but under his breath we could hear some very imaginative swearing, British style.

When we went to meet Quinton's flight the next day, Portia was her usual exquisite self.

"There isn't going to be enough room in the Town Car. Do you want to- "

"I'll drive," Jeff said. "We'll meet you in the main terminal at Dulles."

"All right. Don't have an accident getting there."

"I'm cut to the quick! You know I'm a good driver, Portia!"

"I know you've wrecked any number of cars."

"Not as many as that wild man in- "

"Which wild man would that be, Jefferson?" Ludovic asked casually. "Bart Freeman?"

"Bart's an excellent driver, and to my knowledge he's never been in an accident."

"Then who- "

"That was a long time ago and in another country."

Ludovic raised an eyebrow, and to my surprise, Jeff blushed.

"Ludo... I promise you I never slept with Six- with him!"

"You're too handsome by half, Jefferson."

"But you love me anyway, don't you?"

"D'you think I'd still be with you if I didn't?"

Jeff leaned toward him, and Portia cleared her throat.

"As reluctant as I am to disrupt such a tender moment, we really do need to be on our way."

"Yes, Portia."

Tony and I got in the back seat of Jeff's Mercedes, and Tony settled himself comfortably, his legs spread and his knee pressing against mine. His arm rested on the back of the seat, and he drew idle patterns on the material covering my shoulder.

Ludovic slid into the front seat beside Jeff, who waited until Gregor backed out of the drive before putting the car in gear and following him.

The drive to Dulles was quiet, with none of us having much to say. Jeff found a parking space a few spots away from our sister's Town Car in the hourly lot, and we all walked into the main terminal.

"We're going to wait in Harry's Tap Room, Portia," Tony announced. We were?

"Why?"

"We... uh... we thought you might like a little time alone with Quinn."

"Well... thank you."

Gregor glared at us. "I'm going with you, Portia."

"Of course, Gregor." She gave us a final, puzzled glance before turning to walk to the gate for Air France.

"Harry's Tap Room, big brother?"

He shrugged. "I need a drink."

Harry's Tap Room was crowded that time of day, but we managed to find an empty table. "I'll get this round," I said. "Your usual, gentlemen?"

They nodded, and I made my way across the room.

I spoke to the bartender, then leaned against the bar and looked back at the table where my brothers sat as he filled my order. Sebrings tended to age well, the fair hair fading not to gray but to an almost pure white. Jeff was fiddling with something on the table, while Tony sat back, watching me with hooded eyes.

Neither of them noticed the looks they were attracting.

A tall, astonishingly beautiful woman came to stand beside me, drawing my attention. She was dressed in a black pantsuit that showed off her voluptuous figure, a billed cap perched jauntily on her dark hair.

"Johnnie Walker Red on the rocks, please." Her voice was low and husky.

My order was left half-filled as the bartender hurried to fill her request. "Picking up or dropping off, Ms. G.?"

"Dropping off, and I'm glad to see the back of her. Talk about a spoiled witch!"

"That's the way it goes sometimes."

"You've got that right! All I want now is a drink and a quick bite, and then I'm going home, taking a hot bath, and sleeping for a week."

"The shrimp po'boy is always good. Here you go."

"Thanks, Hank." She picked up the glass and took a healthy swallow, then swirled the ice cubes in her drink.

"Sorry for the delay, sir." The bartender set the drinks in front of me.

"Not a problem." I handed him a couple of bills and started to gather the glasses.

"I'll help you, Bryan." Tony was suddenly at my side, giving the woman the cool stare that had made the younger men under him swallow and tug on their collars. This woman simply raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth curling in a grin, and turned away.

I grew hard. I shouldn't have, we were in a public place, after all, but the realization that he was willing to fight for me...

"Thanks, big brother." I let him take the glasses that held our Scotch, and he followed me back to our table. It was almost as if he were placing himself between the rest of the room and me.

I handed Jeff and Ludovic their drinks before sitting down. Beneath the table, Tony's knee pressed against mine. He belonged to me, beyond the ties of blood, just as I belonged to him, and no matter what the future might hold, we would be together in it.

"Will you be coming out to stay at Shadow Brook for a few days?" Jeff asked, startling me out of my reverie.

"Not this time. I think we'd better go home," Tony murmured as he sipped his Chivas Regal. His leg continued to brush against mine.

"In a rush to get back to your bride?"

"Cara Mia is a very nice young woman," Tony said mildly.

"Young being the key word! I'm really surprised at you, Tony. You're almost three times her age!"

"He's not!" I wanted to punch Jeff in the nose. I knew this was going to happen.

"You're in a mood, Jefferson." Under the table Tony squeezed my knee.

Ludovic reached across the table and touched Jeff's arm. "What is it, pet?"

Jeff sighed heavily. "I feel like shit."

"Why is that?"

"It was my idea for Quinn to apply to the CIA."

"Well, if it comes to that, I encouraged him as well," I told him. "I feel pretty awful myself."

"What about you, Anthony?"

"He of the three of us has no reason to feel guilty!"

Tony's smile was tired, and he toyed with his drink. "If I hadn't been dealing with a crisis at the time and the two of you hadn't stolen a march on me, Quinton would be sitting in my office now. In which case he wouldn't have been required to go to Paris, and he wouldn't have been kidnapped." He was silent for a moment, then admitted, "But yes, I feel just as guilty."

This time we all sighed.

Quinn, looking worn to the bone but in one piece, was safely back in his townhouse.

"Are you sure we shouldn't stay with him, Portia?"

"I'm sure." She smiled at our oldest brother. "A friend will be staying with him."

"But- "

"He doesn't want to be fussed, Tony. Now go back to Great Falls. Gregor and I will meet you there."

We got back into Jeff's car. "So Quinn's got someone."

"It sounds like it."

"Why didn't you tell us, Jeff?"

"Me?! This is the first I've heard of it!"

"Well, keep an ear open and be sure to let us know what happens. It would be nice to see our nephew settling down with someone he cares about."

"What about you, Bry?"

"What about me?"

"Have you gotten over Johanna yet?"

"Lord, yes, ages ago!"

"I'm sorry."

"What? Why?"

"You're without someone to love in your life."

"I've got my family."

Tony began to choke, and I pounded his back, biting back a smile.

"You okay, big brother?" Jeff asked, glancing in the rearview mirror.

"Enough, enough, Bryan! Yes. I'm fine."

"You know what? You're coming East to ring in the New Year this year. I'll see if I can invite some ladies to tempt your jaded palate."

It was my turn to start choking. "Jaded? Me? My reputation has been sadly maligned!"

"Face it, Bryan. Jeff has your number. You're a regular Don Juan."

"I'll show you who's a Don Juan!" I whispered.

Tony turned his head to look out the window, but not before he whispered in turn, "I look forward to it, little brother!"

We returned home to find the security system on the house fully armed. Cara Mia and Cisco were in the room we had designated Sunday's playroom. It contained a child-sized table and chairs, just right for tea parties, as well as a tiny baker's rack that held the china teapot and cups and saucers. There was also a miniature loveseat and a toy chest filled to the brim with everything we thought a little girl might enjoy.

However, while Sunday played with her My Little Pony Dream Castle Playset, Cara Mia sat perched on the loveseat, pale and frightened, and Cisco stood by the French doors, with his arms folded across his chest, looking grim.

His expression lightened when he saw us. "Mr. Mann is okay?"

"Yes."

"Glad to hear that."

Sunday jumped to her feet when she saw us. "Daddy! Uncle Bryan!"

"Hello, little one." Tony stroked her hair.

I stooped down and scooped her up, kissing her cheek. "Hi, munchkin."

"Look what Uncle John bought me!"

Cisco turned red. "It's just a couple of Ponies."

"They have wings! Down, please, Uncle Bryan."

I put her down and she went back to playing with the colorful plastic figures.

"All right, suppose you tell us what's happened."

Cisco glanced down at Sunday and nodded toward the door. Once we were out in the hallway, he said, "Cara spotted someone she really had no desire to see again in this life."

"Her ex-husband?"

"Yeah."

"Did he see her?"

"Yeah."

"Dammit. When?"

"On Monday, when she took Sunday to Pre-K. He started to approach them, then backed off when he saw I was with them."

"Tony, what am I going to do?" We looked around to see Cara Mia standing there.

"Nothing, my dear." Tony rested a hand on her shoulder. "We'll do whatever needs to be done."

"I'm willing to help out in any way I can, Mr. Sebring."

"I think it might be a good idea if you stay here, Cisco. We have plenty of room in this house, but if you'd prefer privacy, the guest house out back is in good shape." I'd read the reports about Paul 'Nme, and he was a nasty piece of work even when he wasn't high on cocaine. As competent as my older brother was, I'd feel more comfortable with someone else staying in the house also when I wasn't there.

Tony gazed at me thoughtfully, and tension swept through me. Was he going to challenge me on this?

"All right."

I blew out a breath in relief. "All right. Now, then - "

tbc