Justin sat in his plain room at the secure home to which he had been returned early in old man Anderson's van. He was feeling pretty pleased with himself. He savoured the memory of the look of total shock on Fuckwit Nathan's face, and the stunned surprise on that of the stranger. Those two precious little words, spoken in the right company at the right time, had liberated him from slavery in the garden.
He replayed Anderson's conversation with his case officer. 'Sorry, Tanya. He can abuse the staff as much as he likes: they don't care. But this was a client, or good as, and what a client to choose! Not that the little git would have minded even if he had known.'
Known what? Justin was not the world's most intellectually curious of boys, but there seems to have been something out of the ordinary about the bloke he had told to fuck off. He tried to remember anything about him. He was American, not particularly good looking, so not an actor. He was casually but expensively dressed, but what would you expect in that part of Highgate anyway. Justin shrugged it off.
He had his CD player and found a CD he was not yet bored with, and tried to drift off on his bed. But the image of the two anonymous men copulating obliviously in front of him kept on pressing on his consciousness. He gave in. He stripped naked and began his second wank of the day. He took his time and felt compelled to pull back his legs, put a finger between his buttocks and play with his own hole as he wanked, pulling his knees right back to his chest and shoving a pillow under his bum to make it easier for him. He flexed his anal muscles the way he had learned to do as a small boy to escape the worst of the regular abuse, and his fingers shot in. He began getting off on the feeling of fullness and with that and his memories of the two men screwing, he gushed a larger amount of sperm than usual up over his chest. He wiped it up with his pants and found a clean pair. Then he slept.
He woke in the early evening with a solid erection once again. He had leaked a dark spot on his boxers where his excited member had kidded itself it was about to be pumped again. He could not remember precisely what he had dreamt about, but he had a feeling it was about sex with men again. He cursed his former stepfather in his head yet again. The bastard had fucked him up in more ways than one.
Justin dressed and thudded downstairs. The secure home was in a big nineteenth- century house in Finchley, set in its own grounds. It had been lavishly and expensively fitted by government grants and heavily endowed by charitable foundations. There was a big steel plaque with a line of logos, saying that the home had been opened on 18 May 2003 by Andrew W. Peacher Esq. chairman of the AP Trust.
Normally Justin would have gone right past the plaque but something about it jerked him to a halt. A framed photo of the opening ceremony was underneath it. What was there about it? Blimey. He recognised the little blond man pulling the curtain. It was the man he had told to fuck off in the Highgate garden. Justin stared open mouthed, and then burst into delighted laughter. Of all the people to say it to, he had said it to the bastard that had opened this prison. The justice of it all was just too rich.
'Wass so funny?' A fellow inmate called Gavin had appeared at the sound of Justin's guffaws.
'See that little bastard? I met him today and I told him to fuck off.'
Gavin looked unconvinced. 'How could you ever meet a guy like him? You know who he is dunya?'
'Not a clue.'
'He's one of the richest blokes in the world, or his dad is. The Peachers got more money that Bill Gates.'
'Even better, then.'
'You're a fuckin' nutter, mate.' Gavin left him, unconvinced.
The next morning, there was another case conference. Justin's euphoria at yesterday afternoon's triumph had quite gone. He sat listlessly as Tanya and the others discussed him. He mumbled the odd noncommital word whenever a question was addressed to him. Finally Tanya summed up.
'Justin, we've resisted this for a bit, but tomorrow you start the psychiatric assessment procedure. Whatever you think you're doing, your antisocial behaviour has gone up several notches, and yesterday was just the cherry on the cake. We need advice as to what's making you do all this, and what we can do about it.'
'All what?' Justin responded.
Tanya ignored him and packed up her files. 'Tomorrow at ten in the consultation room. Dr Bayes will have a chat with you.'
Justin moodily went to the rec room. Two boys were playing pool, so he parked himself in front of the screen and watched MTV. Eventually Gavin joined him.
'So you really did it,' he said. '... really told Andrew Peacher to fuck off.'
'Believe me now do you?'
'I overheard two of the social workers talking. They were dead impressed.'
'Yeah, well the payoff is that they're gonna throw me to the shrink. 'Spect it'll be ritalin again. Hate the stuff. Makes you weird.'
'Or weirder.'
'Pool?'
It was ritalin, and they made sure he took it. The zombification followed its usual course. Life became even and Justin became more passive and compliant, if a little uncommunicative.
The next week Anderson's van came for him, and he found himself working with Nathan again. This time it was the manicure of a private bowling green in Palmer's Green, and Nathan stared, more than a little troubled, at what had become of Justin. He was docile under instruction, did what he was told and needed to be told even to take a break.
'Let's give it a rest. OK, Justin?'
'Sure, fine.'
They sat on a bench. It was hot again and Nathan was only in cutoffs and ankle boots. 'Wanna strip off, Justin?' Without a word, Justin took off his top and revealed his pale torso, slim rather than skinny with large brown aureoles to his nipples. He lay back and closed his eyes.
'You feeling OK?'
'It's warm.'
'Er ... yes, it is. Wanna drink?'
'Sure.' One thing that Nathan noticed was that, sedated or not, Justin still could not bring himself to say thank you.
Nathan said, 'Have they put you on something?'
'Ritalin.'
'How do you feel?'
'Alright.' Nathan gave in, slumped back and enjoyed the sun. Justin copied him. Nathan eventually noticed one other thing. Justin's perpetual erection was still evident. He had known very well that Justin jerked off any moment he could get away, as well as had a smoke, but he was not seeking either distraction now.
Nathan was not sure of his own sexuality, but he knew well enough that all was not as society would prefer it to be. Watching Justin's perpetual tumescence had intrigued him more than it should have, especially once when the younger boy's pink cock head had accidentally popped above his waist band when he stretched. Fortunately Justin had his eyes closed when he did it, or Nathan would have outed himself to the worst possible person. Nathan had got his own erection. He had not found Justin sexually interesting; his aggression was a turn off and the perpetual sneer disfigured his face. But now he looked the boy over again. The sneer was gone and the face looked vulnerable and boyish, especially as his cropped hair was growing out and dark curling bangs were forming. It was a pity that the blue eyes had gone lazy and vacant. They had looked mischievous and laughing sometimes. The body was lean and there was some muscle in the chest and abdomen.
'You got a hard on,' Justin observed in a matter of fact voice.
Damn. Trust the boy to look at him just then. 'Er yeah.'
'I get it up all the time.'
'I'd noticed.'
'You got a big cock?' Justin's face was perfectly unemotional. He could have been talking about his zits or the football results.
'Just the usual.'
'Oh. Six inches is standard.'
'Then I'm right on the average.'
'I'm five and a half ... but I may still grow, especially the way I beat off. Someone told me once that wanking is like training it.'
'I'd never thought of that. Well, it's time we got back to work ...'
'What do you think about when you do it?'
'Er ... all sorts of things.' The boy was relentless now he had got started on the subject.
'Me too. I even think about taking it up the arse.'
'Jesus.'
'Do you think about taking it up the arse?'
'Sometimes.'
'Will you fuck me then?'
Nathan's jaw dropped, but the idea of sex with a zombie was not attractive. 'Are you sure you're OK, Just?' He automatically abbreviated the boy's name, almost as if he were a friend.
'My stepdad used to fuck me when I was ten, almost every night. S'OK, I know what to do. I liked it ... no, I did.' Then Justin'd face crumbled and he was sobbing, huge, choking sobs. Nathan looked around. Where was a psychiatrist when you needed one? There was no one. It was midweek in term time and not a club day. The green was walled and sheltered. The boy sobbed on, sitting upright in a most abnormal way for someone in that sort of apparent grief. Nathan did the only thing he could, for he was above all a warmhearted and generous boy. He took Justin in his arms and pulled him into his shoulder. Arms clasped him round his waist and the boy's warm body embraced him. It might have been arousing, but for Justin's sour smell: a smell of unwashed clothes, infrequent showering and hormones. Justin sobbed on and Nathan's shoulder got wet.
After what seemed like half an hour, but might have been a lot less, he raised his woeful tear-stained face to Nathan's. And Nathan again did the only thing he could, he kissed a wet cheek, and dried it with his fingers. A faint smile appeared on Justin's lips, and quite transformed his face.
'Thanks ... I'm sorry I called you a fuckwit.'
Wow, thought Nathan, he had said thank you. 'Er ... when did you call me a fuckwit?'
'I did in my head. I gotta hard on still. Nathan ...' But Nathan, against all his better judgement had kissed him again, full on the lips now, the first time he had kissed another boy. Justin opened his mouth to him and their tongues danced in the warm wetness beyond their lips. It went on and on. Finally Nathan broke off. It had gone too far now, and he could not pull back from what had to happen. He took Justin's hand and led him silently to the open club house. Justin followed without resistance.
Nathan closed and locked the door, there was a buzzing in his ears. He stared at Justin and Justin stared back at him. He lost his shorts and boots. Then he undressed a suddenly hesitant Justin, kneeling on the bare boards in front of the boy and jerking his jeans and pants down over his hips to his ankles. Once they were both naked, with a racing heart, he closed his lips round the head of the erect penis hanging in front of him. It was warm and salty to the taste, as he ran his tongue over the head. This was finally it. The gay sex he had been daring himself to try for so long. Now he had another boy who seemed to want it.
He ignored the sour, stale piss smell that hung around Justin's crotch. His own penis was pulsing hard, and he just had to take and stroke it. Then slowly he took more of the other boy's length into him. Justin gasped and grabbed his hair. Nathan's hands went up to the small globes of Justin's buttocks, he gripped his bum and explored it. He pulled the buttocks apart and probed in to find the entry to the boy's anus, the goal of his deepest fantasy.
He stroked around the boy's hole, making him arch, then he pushed and it opened to him easily. Justin had not lied to him, his hole had been well used in the past. He probed deep in the hotness inside, feeling the tender inner wall and looking to find the spot he knew was there somewhere. He found the bump. Justin groaned and his cock pulsed in his mouth. He could not get too much of Justin in him without gagging, but he got enough to get a sucking action going. Soon Justin was pumping his face and gasping rhythmically. Nathan looked up and saw the boy's eyes closed with ecstasy. 'Aw ... man you give good head,' he groaned.
Nathan pulled off Justin's penis, and dragged him down to him. Justin lay on him and they squirmed together, kissing, their groins meshed. They began thrusting against each other. The feeling of skin on skin and the sensation in his dick was awesome. Justin stopped him, leaning up on his elbow and staring wildly at Nathan. At last he gasped 'Sixty-nine'. They turned, found each other's cock and began working on each other. Justin came first, pumping too much sperm into Nathan's mouth for him to take it down, the surprise of a mouthful of cum stopping his reflex to swallow. It dribbled back down on to Justin's genitals. Nathan pumped harder into Justin's hot welcoming mouth, the other boy's fingers finding his hole and remorselessly penetrating him. Nathan ignored the discomfort and soon he too was pulsing sperm into Justin, but Justin took most of his offering down without gagging, and came back up to share the rest with Nathan.
They lay back on the dusty floor. Nathan looked with disgust at his stained fingers. He sat up. 'Justin, why don't you wash out your arsehole if you want people to use it?'
They lay together naked for quite a while. Justin awed Nathan by taking his fingers and licking them clean of his own waste. The boy snuggled into Nathan's broad chest and held him round his ribcage, and Nathan found himself kissing Justin's dark head, despite the flakes of dandruff all too evident in it.
'What did we just do?' he asked eventually.
'Something nice,' came the dreamy reply.
'Are we gay?'
'Dunno. Maybe. But it was really nice. So what?' Justin looked up into Nathan's face, 'Thank you. You did the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.'
'Sucked you off?'
'Listened to me.'
'How long did you get abused, Just?'
'Bout a year. I never told anyone ... dunno why. I knew it was wrong and I knew what abuse was. Maybe I didn't want it to stop. That stepdad wasn't the worst my mum found. Apart from fucking my ten year old butt, he was quite nice to us and he spent money on us. So maybe I thought if I said anything she'd go off and get another loser. In the end he went off to Dubai on a contract and didn't come back.'
'It's not too late to go to the police about it.'
Justin gave a little laugh, 'Me and the police are great mates we are.'
'You got a case worker haven't you, and a doctor? They'd take it seriously. Christ, Just, you just had a breakdown all over me ... it's important.'
'I like you to call me Just.' Nathan smiled, reached down and sought the other boy's mouth, and he was welcomed again. Justin was quite a kisser and he was erect again. Nathan shifted to his knees in front of Justin, took him in his hand and started working on him. As he began, he asked 'So what do your friends usually call you?'
'Animal,' Justin replied with a grimace.
They returned to the work on the green. Justin was just as docile and biddable as before, but this time there was a faint smile around his mouth as he worked. The two boys kept glancing at each other as they got on with their edging and clipping, and it was Nathan this time who was perpetually hard as he began noticing the perfection of the curve of the other boy's small bum. Mr Anderson arrived with the van at five, and looked impressed. 'Good job lads, really good.' He smiled at Justin, 'Work like this every day, laddie, and we'll be offering you a job.'
Justin had gone blank again, and just mumbled. But at least he didn't tell Anderson what to do with his offer. Nathan and he looked tongue-tied at each other as Justin was dropped off at the home, both wanted to say something, but couldn't with Anderson in the van.
'Er ... bye Just.'
'Yeah, bye.' Justin stared after the van as it disappeared. Although the ritalin was dulling his mind, it didn't cancel out his emotions or his sexuality. He knew that he had experienced something new and very desirable with the gardener's boy, and he knew he wanted it again. But when would be the next time he was paired with Nathan? If his mind had been working, he should have taken his mobile number, and even though he was in lock down, there were ways to get out messages. But the opportunity was gone.
He lay in his room that night and all he could think of was Nathan's handsome body, the muscle shifting under the velvet skin, the long thick cock in its dark smudge of pubic bush, and the smell of his sweat. He wanted to be possessed by him again, and it might have been viagra rather than ritalin he was taking for the reaction in his groin.
But it was not just the physical desire he felt, he was all too familiar with that. There was something else and it was new. Nathan had held him, had kissed him, had cared about him and had helped him, a lot. He had helped him more than all the social workers and shrinks he had been sent to. And why? He thought long and hard about it, and then it clicked, because for all Justin's background he was bright and he was observant about others and himself. He wanted to be liked by Nathan, wanted to be attractive to him. He wanted him so much he was willing to be another person for him.