Hey all! I'm back with more from the inner recesses of my brain - consider that a warning. Read this unless you're not allowed to. (Hehehehehehe). And now - complete silence for:
The Cherry Trees
by Attemptatinger
"Fuck!! I don't believe this! What the fuck are you doing?!!" Neil gasped in shock. "Danny! Oh shit!" "So you're a fag! The great Neil Richardson is a fag! Wonder boy! God, I don't know why I ever looked up to you!" Danny hissed, spit flying in all directions. "Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about!" "I know enough! You make me sick! Get off me!" Neil shoved Danny against the wall. "I've just about had it with you!" Tommy tried to hide in the corner, and actually no one noticed him. The noise had attracted a lot of people from the living room, but they only noticed Neil and Danny fighting. "What's going on?" Archie wanted to know. "You're not going to believe this! Danny caught Neil kissing Tommy McGann!" "What?" Archie gasped, spluttering beer everywhere. "Stop that shit and help me stop this," Jeremy yelled angrily, indicating the fighting boys. Normally such a show of emotions from him would have surprised Archie, but under the circumstances he didn't even notice. He just did what he was told. They managed to restrict both Danny and Neil. "What do you think you're doing?" Josie asked out of breath. She'd been upstairs and heard the noise. Shaking her head she gave Neil a tissue box because his nose was bleeding. "Honestly, boys." "He's a fag," Danny shouted. "So?" "Huh?" There was a bewildered look in the boy's eyes. "It's.. it's sick." Josie laughed. "You need to grow up, Danny, you really do. Anyway, look at it this way: it means less competition for you."
"Hm." Danny seemed to consider this. Maybe he'd had enough beer to soften him up, or maybe he hadn't had enough to make him aggressive. Whatever the reason he cooled down, confusion taking the place of anger. "I just don't get it, I mean.. you could get any girl you want, man.." He looked at Neil. "I don't want any girl," Neil said silently. "I have what I want." He looked at Tommy in corner and caught his eyes. They looked puffy, but Tommy was smiling. It made Neil weak. "Cute," Hannah said, not quite smiling. "But.. why him?" Jay asked incredulously, and a bit slurry. "Why, you interested?" "No! But he's so girlie, couldn't you've picked a real girl instead?" "Watch it!" Neil growled, glaring at Jay. The he sighed deeply. "I don't think you're looking properly at him. You're seeing what you want to see." "Don't get deep with me, man," Jay said rolling his eyes. "Listen, you idiot! Don't you get it? We're making excuses for what we did to Tommy back then in stead of seeing him like he is!" "Don't know what you're talking about," Jay mumbled. "Don't give me that. We owe him a chance. After all, he took a lot from us and came out all right in the other end. I'm not sure you would've, Jay. I'm not sure I would've. He has guts." "He's right, guys," Jeremy said smiling, his arms crossed. "Let's admit it now. Let's give him a chance - or rather, let's hope he gives us one." Danny was looking at his feet. Archie stared hard at the wall. "It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them, right guys?" Josie said. "Archie?" Archie cleared his throat. "Uhm.. I know we weren't always exactly nice to him - to you -" he looked at Tommy for the first time, "but.." "But what?" Neil said, worked up. "Shh, Neil." Josie winked at him. He got the message and shut up. "I don't know." Archie sighed. "Well I do," Jeremy smiled. "I'm not proud of what I did. So, let's give him a chance, okay guys?" "What's with you all of a sudden?" Danny mumbled, staring suspiciously at Jeremy. "We beat up a smaller kid. That's all there is to it," Jeremy replied. "Archie?" Josie said. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry Tommy, I admit it." Tommy just nodded, obviously ill at ease. "This is all too much," Danny mumbled. "I can't believe it." "Well believe it!" Neil said curtly. "I want you to say it too, Danny." Danny bit his lip and looked at Neil. Old habits die hard, so he did what Neil said. "Yeah okay. I'm not exactly innocent myself." He got up from the floor. "Damn clever of you. You shock us so much with being gay that the other thing seems so small." "I didn't plan it," Neil said. "Are you okay with this?" "I guess. I still can't believe it. My friend.. a fruit." He smiled. Neil realized he was joking and relaxed. They shook hands and went into the living room again. Some of the boys were quiet - they obviously had a hard time dealing with the new situation. Neil the man - gay? Neil himself was so relieved things were all right with Danny he didn't notice that Tommy wasn't around until a few minutes later. He was thinking maybe he had underestimated Danny. "Where's Tommy?" Neil suddenly asked. Tommy wasn't anywhere around. "Does anyone know where Tommy is?" Worried, Neil got up. "I think he went home," Josie said. "At least I saw someone leaving." Neil ran out of the house, but he couldn't see Tommy. He then ran to Tommy's house; it wasn't far away.
"You'd better come in," mrs. McGann said. "I don't know what happened - he's a mess." Neil knocked on the door. There was no reply. "Tommy? Baby, can I come in?" Tommy's mother shook her head. "Tommy honey, please. Open the door." She shook her head. "Wait a minute, Neil, I have an extra key." She ran to the kitchen to get the key and unlocked the door. "You go in." She sighed. "I think he needs you more than me right now. I'll come in later." "Okay," Neil replied, too worried to be surprised. He pushed the door open. Tommy wasn't in sight, but there was a lump under the blanket on the bed. Neil sat down besides it and stroked it lightly. "Are you crying, baby?" There was no reply, but the lump began shaking. Neil tried to pull away the blanket, but Tommy resisted. "Unh!" Neil lay down beside him, close. "Shh. What's wrong, baby?" "Can't tell you" was the muffled reply. "Please, Tommy! I can't stand to see you like this. I love you too much." A narrow, pale face with ruffled blond hair peeked out under the blanket. "Really?" "Yeah." Neil slipped an arm under the blanket and dragged Tommy close. This time the boy didn't resist. "Oh, Neil, I know I'm being stupid," Tommy sniffed. "But.. do you think I made you gay?" "What?!" Neil smiled. "Oh, baby, no! I think I've always been gay - I've, uhm, reacted to cute boys before. But you're the only one I've fallen in love with." Tommy shut his eyes hard. He crawled closer to Neil and hugged him. "You're the only one I've ever loved, too." "So what made you think something like that?" Neil said, grateful that he had Tommy in his arms again. "I don't want to think about it anymore." "Come on, someone must have said something to you, right?" "Yeah." Tommy shook his head. "But I'm not sure I should tell you.." "Why? Was it Danny?" "No. It was Jay." "What?!" "He said I'd ruined you and you used to be so great." He breathed deeply. "You were his hero, but I'd ruined it. I'd made you a fag. And.. and you'd leave me when you came to your senses." He giggled. "What's so funny?" Neil asked. He was very angry and didn't understand Tommy's sudden change of moods. "I just realized how stupid I was to believe him. It just sounded so right the way he said it. I mean - you are out of my league after all." Now Neil laughed. "I don't think anyone is, baby, certainly not me. I'm the lucky one." Tommy obviously enjoyed hearing this. He always did. "So you'll forget Jay?" "If you will?" "Okay." Tommy smiled, looking Neil in the eyes. "I think the beer probably affected me more than I thought." Neil was captivated by Tommy's eyes. He never got enough of them, so he didn't reply. Just then Tommy's mother knocked and entered after waiting a few seconds. Neil felt very awkward lying on Tommy's bed with Tommy in his arms, but Tommy didn't even lift his head from Neil's chest. "I'm okay now, mom," he said. "I can see that." He kissed his forehead. "Neil, why don't you stay the night?" "I'd love to, mrs. McGann, but I have to get home," Neil said. The full implications of what had happened that night were beginning to reach his brain. "I'd don't want my parents to hear from anyone else." Mrs. McGann gave him a strange look but let it go. Of course it was both understandable and commendable that Neil wanted to tell his parents himself. But sometimes that's not enough. It had been almost an hour by then, and that's plenty of time for news to travel. Much can be said about Sarah but discreet she was not, and lying in bed with the flu she used the phone a lot. Unfortunately for Neil, her best friend was Danny's younger sister Ellie who'd left the party immediately after Neil, and Ellie liked the phone too. So, when Neil got up from Tommy's bed and put on his jacket to walk the short distance to his home he didn't know that a number of things were conspiring against him, and that in fact his parents already knew. But he was soon to find out.
Chapter 10:
The house was silent. In the kitchen a single light was on, but no one was there, so Neil went into the living room. His parents were there, but the TV wasn't on, and they weren't talking. His father looked at him, but his mother didn't, and that's when he knew that they'd heard. "Oh shit," he whispered. "Don't use foul language," Neil's father said. "Come sit down, son, we need to talk." "I know." Neil was short of breath, and his knees bucked. This was it. This was the moment of truth. He sat down, not sure how to begin. Out on the street a car drove by, somehow enforcing the silence. "Neily boy, you mother and I have been talking since Sarah told us what happened at Archie's," mr. Richardson began. "We're a bit surprised to be honest, but we want you to know that we love you." Neil sighed relieved, but he noticed that his mother just gave a small nod. Maybe the vote hadn't been completely unanimous after all. "We also want you to know that we completely approve of Thomas McGann. He's a nice boy, and his mother's a fine woman." "Dad, please." "I know, I'm being old-fashioned, but these things matter you know. We're not so surprised you picked him. It's the fact that he wants you that's surprising." "I know, I didn't expect him to either," Neil said, happy to let his father do the talking. "Promise us you'll take care, what with Aids and all." "Dad!" Neil blushed. "Promise me, Neil." "I promise." His father clapped his hands together and got up. "Good. Because I know how boys are. Now I think we need a cup of coffee. Will you help me?" "Sure dad." Neil's father draped his arm round Neil's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Neily boy, I want you to know that. I really am. You're a good kid - young man, sorry." He chuckled. "You do our name credit." Neil could feel the tears coming on, mostly out of relief, but also because he loved his father. Mr. Richardson seemed to sense that. He didn't say anything while Neil composed himself. In stead he busied himself with the coffee, pouring the water in and measuring the coffee. "One or two cups, Neily?" "One, please. Dad.. how about mom?" Neil's father grunted. "Rose is from a very religious family. She's going to need some more time, mainly because her mother always said gays were bad people. It sticks with you, that kind of thing. But she loves you too, you know that. She's a good woman, is your mother." "I know." Neil sniffed. "Will she talk to me?" "Of course." He smiled. "I'll talk to her some more, but it's just a question of time." Gently he stroked Neil's cheek, something he hadn't done in years. "You remind me so much of myself, even if you don't want to hear it. You're like your father whether you like it or not. And you need a shave, so if you sleep at Tommy's house tonight bring your shaving kit, okay? I think maybe you'd better go there." Neil got the message - his mother needed some more time. "Sure, dad, and thanks. Thanks." Neil looked him in the eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah." His father patted his hand. "Maybe you should see Sarah before you go." "I think so too." Neil smiled weakly and went up the stairs. "What about your coffee?" shouted his father. "Some other time, dad, you drink it." "Oh. Yeah. I will." And he would. He was very fond of coffee.
Neil hesitated outside Sarah's door. Maybe this got easier after a while? Anyway, she already knew. But was that really an advantage? Here goes, he thought and knocked on the door. "Sarah? It's me. Can I come in?" "Mmmm." Neil decided to take that as a yes and opened the door. Sarah sat in the bed, her arms crossed. She looked furious. "Oh-oh," Neil said. "Damn right. What do you think you're doing, pulling a stunt like this at the first party in months I didn't go to? I could kill you on that score alone!" Neil smiled internally. He knew her like he knew himself, because they were so alike, and he knew she wasn't really angry. "But that's not all. You have to - out of all the boys in the world - you have to pick Tommy, when you know I've fancied him all year!" She slammed a pillow in his face. "I'm sorry. I don't think you ever had a chance with that boy," Neil said, clutching the pillow. "Guess not, but that's beside the point." She glared at him. "What did it take you - all of two days to get him?" "A bit more than that." Neil smiled. "But I would've done much more. He's the most wonderful.. - sorry." "Yeah, rub it in why don't you." "Sorry." She sighed. "I'll get over it. But Neil.." "Yeah?" She looked him in the eyes. They had very similar eyes. He knew what was coming - he'd been putting it off. "Why didn't you tell me?" He shook his head. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want to tell my ten-year-old sister that I thought I probably liked boys more than girls. But I could have told you later." Sarah didn't say anything. She just listened. "I suppose I didn't want things to change. They were okay the way they were. I didn't want them to change, maybe for the worse. I don't know." He looked at her. "It's not because I don't trust you. I do." He smiled. "Well, except maybe when it comes to doing the dishes, I know you're cheating." "Don't change the subject. It won't work with me." She drank some water. "Just.. I'll be here for you if you need me, okay?" "Thanks. But I'm more worried about what they'll say to you in school on Monday." "Are you kidding? They'll be all over me!" "Huh?" "This is the most exciting thing to happen in - forever! Thanks for boosting my popularity." Neil scowled. "As if it needs boosting." He got up and left the room. "Just hope I won't miss that too because of this damned flu," Sarah mumbled.
At Tommy's place his mother opened the door. "Neil!" she said surprised. "Neil?" a voice said from inside the house. Neil could hear the sound of running feet. He smiled at Tommy's mother, and she smiled back. "Neil!" Tommy said and hugged Neil. Neil responded by picking him up, and Tommy's legs locked round Neil's waist. "I thought you went home!" "Hey, baby," Neil said, grinning deliriously. "I missed you too much." "Cute," mrs. McGann said dryly, "but don't you two boys think you've put on enough of a show today? Come inside." Neil carried Tommy inside. The blond boy didn't weigh all that much, but Neil would have carried him anyway. Tommy was kissing him vigorously, and Neil was getting aroused. "Hehe, stop it baby, mmm, this is getting embarrassing." Tommy snickered, but mrs. McGann heard it too, and she laughed out loud. "I think I've seen worse, mr. Richardson. I'm a nurse, remember?" "I thought you were a surgeon," Neil smiled. "Oh yeah. No, that was the other day." She smiled a little smile. "I don't want you to remember everything I say." "See, she likes you already," Tommy whispered. "Don't you go betting your life savings on that, Thomas McGann. Now aren't you going to ask Neil how things went with his parents in stead of doing that? Eww." She cleared her throat. "I'll go watch TV." "Oh, yeah, how did it go, Neil?" "Okay." Neil shrugged. "Dad and Sarah - great. Mom - not so great. She didn't speak to me." A paternal instinct kicked in with Tommy. "I'm sorry, Neil. Are you okay?" Neil nodded. "Yeah. Dad says she'll come around. And he ought to know her, right?" "Right." Tommy lowered his voice, even though they could hear the TV in the other room. "So, where do you want to make love to me - here, or in my room?" Neil blushed. "I love you, baby." He kissed Tommy. "But here? I don't think so." Tommy giggled. "My room, then. You are staying the night?" "Yeah, for sure." "Mmmmm. Come on then." "What's the rush?" "Don't make fun of me! I need it bad, all right? Want me to start without you?" "No!" Neil ran up the stairs to Tommy's room before Tommy could react. The truth be told he needed it just as much. Tommy came in, laughing. "Why don't you just tell my mom we're going to have sex? You sounded like a herd of cattle." Neil blushed. "Come on - she knows already, doesn't she?" "Oh yeah!" Tommy giggled. "The way I've been whining all night 'cause you had to go, I don't think she's in doubt. Mmmm.. do that again, please."
Now, that meant the boys were all right for the night. It said nothing about the next day, though. Neil and Tommy had decided to forget Jay, but he hadn't forgotten them. Again, that it the way of things. "I'm not doing it! I'm not getting changed with them!" Jay yelled, anger written all over his handsome face. "They're queers, for God's sake." "Well, that's fair enough," coach Jenkins said dryly. "I understand. You can wait outside." "What?" "Jay, my boy -" the coach smiled, "you can't play soccer if you don't change. And I'm not letting my best player go because of your hang-ups. And that McGann lad's quite good, too," he added. It was an impossible choice, of course, but he had to decide. And there was no way Jay would lose his place on the team over this. He went inside and changed, but not in his normal place next to Neil. Neil noticed and frowned. He really hadn't expected Jay to behave like this; he'd always been sensible. In fact, he'd always tried to copy Neil. "Jay has a problem with us," Neil whispered to Tommy while they were warming up. "I know," Tommy whispered back. "What did you expect? He's been trying to be you all his life. What's he supposed to do now?" "Be me?" Neil asked, skeptical. "Of course. He was one of the worst - back then." Tommy's smile faded. "The followers are sometimes the worst." "I guess your right. You're a clever boy, baby." Neil felt a wave of tenderness flow over him, something he didn't seem to be able to get used to. It always took his breath away. Tommy just smiled and tried to look at Neil's legs without being too obvious, which was difficult, because everybody was looking at them. Luckily, there was much more curiosity in the air than animosity.
"Jay!" Neil tried to catch up with the younger boy after the match. "Fuck off, queer boy!" "Jay, I need to talk to you." "No." "Yes! Why is this such a big deal? We used to friends?" Neil grabbed Jay by the arm. "Used to being the key word," Jay mumbled. "I just don't get it. You picked a sissy? You were my hero, man. God, it makes me sick to say it." "I did not pick a sissy!" Neil said, clenching his teeth. "Look - Tommy made the soccer team, didn't he? He can't be a sissy then, can he? He even played the last match." "He was substituted in the 2nd half." "Yeah, you took his place. For the last ten minutes." Jay shook his head. "But.. he's such a cry-baby.." "Only he wasn't, was he? He took a lot from us. From me and you. But he came through. Face it Jay - the kid has balls." "I guess you'd know." Jay cleared his throat. "I have to think, man." "Listen.. not everything I do is right. What you did back then.. it was partly down to me, I know, but you have to face it." "Don't flatter yourself," Jay mumbled unconvincingly. "Jay, don't give me that. You know it's true. You did it 'cause I did it." Jay's lower lip quivered. "Bullshit." Neil acted on instinct. He pulled the boy close and hugged him. "It's okay." "Let me go, you homo!" "Shh!" Neil noticed that Jay didn't fight Neil's hold on him. In stead he broke down and began crying hard. Neil sat him down on the grass and held him, saying nothing. "Oh my God, what did we do," Jay sobbed. "Oh my God.." "It's okay, Jay. It's in the past. But we have to face it, okay?" "I know, but I don't want to." He sniffed. "You can let me go now. I don't want anyone to see us." "They're not going to think you gay, Jay," Neil said pointedly. "Why not? If you can be gay, anyone can." He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Okay. You can tell Tommy I'm sorry. I can't say it myself." "You'll have to some time." "Hm." Jay got up and unlocked his bike. Neil grabbed his bag. "Hey Neil! Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Na, forget it." Jay looked pleadingly at Neil. "You'll think I'm stupid." "Spill it, soccer boy!" Jay smiled a bit. "Why did you pick him?" "Tommy? 'Cause he's smart and cute and nice and wonderful and sexy- " "Eew, forget I asked!" Jay shook his head. "What I meant was - why not.. me?" His voice trailed off. "You?" Neil said, startled. "You don't mean.." "No, stupid! I just want to know what's wrong with me?" "Oh!" Neil smiled. "Well.. you're not Tommy, that's all. There's nothing wrong with you, I just fell for someone else. It's not like you're ugly or anything, you're okay. Sexy." Neil gave him a crooked smile. "Stop it!" "I like your legs, there quite.." "Thanks! Oh shit, that's more than I wanted to know." "Shouldn't've asked, then." "Guess not." Jay waved good bye and ride off. Neil could tell he was satisfied with Neil's response. Maybe he was going to need some time, but he'd come around. To Neil it was all another lesson in how much the past means for the present. He'd been learning a lot about that lately.
So, what do you think? I stayed away from the cliffhanger stuff today in the hope that you'll read the next part anyway. Who knows, though - I might reinvent the cliffhanger the next time! This was a tricky part of the story. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I didn't want to ruin the flow of it, so some of it will have to wait. I hope it worked. A personal note: When I wrote about Neil coming out to his parents it took me back! I got so nervous my hands shook! However, my own story was nothing like this, so I hope I was detached enough to write properly anyway. You can reach me at Acol@groenjord.dk - please do. There is nothing like feedback to get the inspirational juices flowing. Till next time, Attemptatinger