No, I'm not dead! I'm very much alive now that I've completed my exam paper and handed it in. Whether I passed remains to be seen. This is what I had time to do before Christmas. I didn't have the heart to keep you waiting any longer, but I'm going away for Christmas tomorrow and had very little time, so.. take it or leave it. And now, complete and utter silence for:
The Cherry Trees
by Attemptatinger
"I don't get it. Oh, this is hopeless!" Neil said, closing the book and pushing it off the desk. Tommy smiled. "You say that every day. Why don't you just get it over with?" "Because it's boring, that's why! Homework is keeping me from living my life!" Tommy giggled. "Don't you ever get tired of moaning about it? You always read it in the end." "Shut up, baby! Just because you never have to study.." "I study!" "Yeah, right!" Neil smiled. "You skim it. And then you ace your tests - I don't know how you do it." "I'm just smarter than you, I guess," Tommy said - and then jumped off the bed, narrowly escaping Neil who threw himself at the blond boy. Neil bounced back and caught a hold of Tommy's foot, and even though Tommy kicked and squirmed Neil managed to drag him back on the bed and pin him down with his own body. "Surrender?" Neil asked menacingly. "Or do I have to teach you a lesson?" Tommy giggled. "You smell good." "Don't try to get out of it. Flattery won't do you any good." "Hmm. I guess I surrender then." Tommy smiled and looked Neil in the eyes. "What? What is it?" Neil smiled a little. "I love you." Tommy grinned. "You'd better." "No, I mean it. I don't any longer just want you, I need you now. I can't even remember what it was like not needing you. Oh, I'm so bad with words!" He shook his head in frustration. "No, you're not." Tommy caught Neil's face in his hands. "I understand perfectly what you mean. And I need you too." Neil lay down on top of Tommy and stroked his blond hair. Neither said anything. After a while Neil rolled off Tommy and pulled the younger boy on top of him. He hugged his slender body closely. Tommy sighed and closed his eyes. This was his favorite thing to do in the entire world. "D'you still think I smell good?" Neil asked teasingly. "Mmm. Heavenly." "Is it turning you on?" Tommy didn't answer. In stead he began nibbling Neil's right earlobe. Neil held the boy tighter, laughing happily. "What is it with you and smell?" he whispered. "Shut up," Tommy breathed. "It's a good thing it's my smell that turns you on, 'cause if it were apple pie it might be awkward at your grandmothers'," Neil snickered. Tommy giggled. "You're so stupid." "That's right. You're the whiz kid," Neil said. "I can't believe you're my boyfriend. I must have been a real do-gooder in my previous life to deserve this." Tommy kissed him to shut him up, and it worked. Of course it was good for other reasons as well.
Neil wasn't the jealous type. Far from it. He was sure Tommy would never hurt him in any way. But Neil was only human.
"Hey Jeremy!" Tommy said, waving. Neil smiled, proud that Tommy was more outspoken already. A few weeks ago he would never have said anything to anyone. Jeremy just smiled weakly. Neil got a feeling something was terribly wrong. "You all right?" "Yeah, I'm fine," Jeremy said. Then he shook his head and sighed. It was hard to break the habits of what seemed like a lifetime, but he'd decided to trust Neil and Tommy, and he might as well stick to it. At least, that's what Neil thought he was thinking. His internal battle was very visible on his face, which was in itself unusual. "No, actually everything's a mess. I don't know what to do." Neil opened his mouth to say something, but the bell cut him off. "Let's talk about it at lunch," he said. Jeremy shrugged. "What's to talk about? Just forget it." Neil had no intention of forgetting it, of course. He wasn't that kind of guy. But he had no idea what to do. Neil cornered Jeremy at lunch, but Jeremy no longer wanted to talk about it. Tommy tried to talk to him too, but that didn't seem to help. Frustrated, Neil patted Jeremy's back. Jeremy cringed and sucked his breath in. "Oh no! Did he hit you again?" Neil asked aghast. Jeremy didn't reply. "You have to do something. You can't stay there. What about your mother?" "She's in hospital," Jeremy whispered. "So there's no need for you to stay at home. You have to get away." "There's no point, Neil. Where would I go? You know I have no relatives around here." Jeremy shook his head. "You can stay at my house until you work something out," Tommy piped in. "Mom won't mind. I mean, Neil stays over all the time, and.." He blushed. "Thanks, but I can't do that," Jeremy said. "No, I mean it. The house is plenty big." Clearly, Tommy was eager to be of help. "Why don't you check it with your mother?" Neil said. "If she's okay, we'll get some of your stuff today and get you installed, Jeremy." "I don't know. It seems an awfully big step." "Yeah. But you have to do something. And it's just temporary." Neil smiled. "No more buts. It all depends on Tommy's mom now." He could say that with confidence, knowing Tommy's mom. She wouldn't refuse help to someone who needed it. "She'll be fine," Tommy nodded. "Sure. If she's anything like her son," Neil smiled. Tommy blushed. Jeremy didn't, he rolled his eyes, but he did seem calmer at the prospect of moving out.
Jeremy's father didn't like it one bit. But he didn't stop Jeremy. Maybe he knew it was for the best. Or maybe he didn't have the energy to do anything about it. Still, the boys hurried to get out of there, and in less than an hour they'd found the things Jeremy needed and transported them to the small spare bedroom at Tommy's house. As expected his mother hadn't objected. Actually Neil was quite sure she approved very much of her son, even if she didn't let on. All she did was welcome Jeremy and tell him he'd have to do his share of work around the house. "There's no way I'm slaving for one more teenager around here," she said. "Mom," Tommy said blushing. "Yeah, two's enough!" She winked at Neil and left the room. Jeremy shook his head slowly. "Don't worry about it," Tommy smiled. "Shell shock is quite common when mom's around." "Yeah, how that woman could mother such a sweet, silent child is beyond me," Neil grinned. Tommy playfully punched him. "Sorry, not so sweet child." "You guys are incredible," Jeremy laughed. "I wish I find a boyfriend some day." "You will," Tommy said confidently. "You're a nice, attractive guy - why wouldn't you?" Neil smiled, but the remark grew in his mind. 'So, Tommy thinks he's attractive?' a voice kept saying all day. When Neil was ready to go to bed he had to call Tommy, just to.. he didn't know why, he just had to. Mrs. McGann answered the phone. "Oh, hi Neil. No, he's just playing cards with Jeremy. Do you want me to get him for you?" "No, that's all right, it's to late anyway," Neil replied, thinking irrationally 'It'd better not be strip poker they're playing'. But he had to laugh at the stupidity of the thought. No, there was no way Tommy would hurt him. He was sure of it. But he didn't sleep too well that night.
On his way to school the next day he caught up with Tommy and Jeremy. The way they chatted easily with each other did nothing to calm his wild thoughts. He knew it was crazy - he'd wanted Tommy to get along with people, but now that he did Neil was jealous. And it wasn't like Jeremy didn't need cheering up. "Oh, hey Neil!" Tommy said, smiling. But was he as happy to see Neil as he used to be? Neil faked a smile. "How was your first night away from home?" he asked Jeremy. "Okay, I guess. I was depressed about it, but Tommy cheered me up. He's a great guy," Jeremy replied, smiling. Neil nodded and looked away, scolding himself for being stupid. But it didn't help. All through school he couldn't think about anything else. If he lost Tommy he wouldn't know what to do!
Tommy paused the CD player. The rain outside became audible. "Neil?" "Hmm." "What's wrong?" "Nothing. Why do you ask?" Tommy didn't answer that. He just stared at Neil, a look of hurt on his face. "What?" Neil asked irritably. "If you don't want to tell me, just say so, okay? But I know you better than that, Neil. I know something's wrong. You promised not to lie to me." He sniffed. Neil got up and pulled Tommy up from his chair to hug him. "Sorry, baby. I'm just being stupid." "Yeah," Tommy mumbled, burying his face in Neil's neck. "Hmm? You could disagree, you know," Neil said. "Why? You're right, you're being stupid." Neil frowned. "I haven't told what it is yet, baby." "I'm not stupid." Tommy tightened his grip round Neil's waist. "You're jealous, aren't you?" A chill ran down Neil's spine. "You're a clever boy. It's almost scary," he whispered. "Yeah. I'm jealous all right. I know there's no reason, but the thought of maybe losing you.." "You're not losing me," Tommy said. "Look me in the eyes. Yes. Can't you tell that it's you I want? I don't want anyone else. Well?" "Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it." "Look closer." Neil swallowed. He was shaking, and he got the warm fuzzy feeling all over. Suddenly he realized Tommy was shaking, too. "Yeah, I see it." "Good." Tommy hugged him again. "Because there's no way I can go back now. I need you, so you'd better not leave me, all right? Besides, you promised mom you wouldn't." "How did you know that?" Neil said, relieved and surprised at the same time. "I didn't, but I do now," Tommy snickered. "Hmm? Clever, clever," Neil said, but he couldn't hold back a proud smile. "I guess I'll have to be careful what I say. Especially when it's your birthday, because I don't want you to guess.." He stopped. "When IS your birthday, baby?" "Next week." "What?!" "Next week." "But.. we have to get things organized! I have to get you a present. Why didn't you say? And we'll have a party. You'll be 16 after all. Who should you invite? Let's see.." "Shh." Tommy placed a finger over Neil's lips. "You don't need to get me anything. I never celebrate my birthday. Mom and I spend a nice evening at home and that's it. Of course, this year I'd like you to come." "But.. why not? Why don't you want a party?" "Because.. because the last time I had one no one came," Tommy replied, looking at the floor. "Oh?" Neil frowned. "Oh! Oh, no.." He suddenly remembered. "Oh shit, I'd forgotten. Oh no!" "Yeah, none of you came. Mom had cleared out the living room and we had cake and all, but you didn't come. I haven't had a party since." Neil closed his eyes painfully. He could feel the tears. It was true, they'd been invited but they didn't come. In stead they'd gone to the woods to play. It was very cruel and very funny at the time. What made it worse was that Neil had organized it. "I'm so ashamed," he whispered. "Forget it," Tommy mumbled. "You've made it up to me. But I don't want a party." "No, no I haven't made it up to you. God, how could I be so cruel?" Neil sighed. "I don't know why you don't hate me, I really don't, but I'm grateful." "How could I hate you," Tommy said, clearly uncomfortable about the whole thing. He usually didn't like to talk about things from years back. Neil pulled Tommy on to the bed. Tommy snuggled close. "Baby?" Neil asked. "Hmmm." "What if I organize a party?" "Hm-hm. No." "It would be just you, me, your mother, Sarah and Jeremy. And whoever else you might want." "No one else." Tommy sighed. "I don't know, Neil." The he sat up. "What if we invite Jay and Danny and Archie and everybody?" "You mean - reach out in a gesture of reconciliation and peace?" "That's right. It would hit them like a blow to the stomach." Neil laughed. "That's the true spirit!" "Seriously, I don't know. I have to think about it." "Sure, baby." Neil kissed him on the forehead. "I love you. You're so beautiful." Tommy purred. "When is it exactly?" Neil asked. "Friday." "But it's perfect! Now all I have to do it find you a gift." Tommy mumbled something, but the clothing on Neil's upper body obscured it. "Huh?" Neil asked. "If you want to get me something useful you could promise to stop bitching about your homework," Tommy repeated. "Oh, you..! I'll get you for that one, smart ass." "Better get me good." "Oh I will." "Now." "Okay."
It never seemed to bother mrs. McGann that she suddenly had three teenage boys in her house in the morning in stead of one. Of course she was not the kind of woman to be bothered by very much. "Why don't I get us a house near a dairy - it'll save a lot of transport," she commented, throwing out the second empty milk carton of the morning. "Anyway, you'd better get dressed. We're out of milk." "Mom," Tommy said. "Uh-uh! That tone usually costs me at least 50$," she growled. "I'm thinking about having a party Friday." "But Friday's your birth-.." She stopped. "Oh." She turned her back and busied herself with a brush and some glasses. "Mom, say something." "You want me to say something?" she said in a controlled voice. Neil guessed it had been a while since anyone had actually needed to encouraged her to speak. "I'll say something! You know how I feel about that. The world doesn't change overnight. I remember how miserable you always are." "Mom!" Tommy blushed. "You shouldn't have asked me to say something if you didn't want them to hear, should you? No, I don't think it's a good idea." "But they'll come this time, mom." "That's what I'm afraid of! If they stayed away I'd be fine." Neil cleared his voice. He was beginning to be able to tell when mrs. McGann was really angry and when she was just worried about Tommy. "We'd take care of everything, Dora. It would just be you and us and Sarah." She hesitated. Then she shrugged. "You'll do what you want anyway." "Thanks mom," Tommy smiled, hugging her. He recognized her words as the permission they were. To Neil it was a pleasure to see Tommy so worked up about something. He'd really warmed up to the idea, and Neil was determined to do everything he could to make the party perfect. He'd have to get a perfect gift, too. He'd have to think about that. What Neil didn't realize was that the party had taken his mind off his jealousy. He'd suggested it as a kind of therapy for Tommy, but it worked both ways as if so often the case. Jeremy noticed, though. He noticed a lot. Including the look of anger on mrs. McGann's face when she saw the bruising on his back. She was a formidable woman - one he couldn't help but respect. But respect was as far as he usually went with people.
Sarah was enthusiastic and promptly promised to help. "If I let you do it Lord knows what'll happen," she said dryly. "You need a woman's touch." "Oh? Can you recommend any?" Neil said, arching his eyebrows. "Funny, funny. Don't laugh at his jokes - it only encourages him," she added to Tommy, who was giggling. She was right; Tommy's laughs did encourage Neil a whole lot. "What's this?" mrs. Richardson asked, entering the room. Tommy tensed up, but Neil grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. He knew his mother was coming around, slowly but surely. "We're planning Tommy's birthday party next Friday," Sarah replied. "Oh. Well don't try to dominate it Sarah, it's Tommy's party." "I would never -" "Right," Neil laughed, "sure you wouldn't." Tommy even smiled despite his tension. "Are you calling me bossy?" Sarah asked, crossing her arms. "I don't know how you put up with his attitude, Tommy." "I'll make you a cake, if you want," mrs. Richardson offered. Tommy swallowed. "Sure.. thanks a lot, mrs. Richardson." "It's Rose, remember?" She smiled, still obviously apprehensive but trying her best, which was good enough for Neil. Tommy smiled back. "I'll get me a dress that'll make you regret choosing Neil," Sarah said. "I know just the one, Tommy." Tommy smiled. "It would have to be a damn good dress, Sarah." "Don't listen to her," Neil said, making sure his mother was out of hearing range. "I'll get a better dress if you want." "You'd have to loose weight," Sarah remarked. "It's muscles," Neil protested. "Anyway, what are you implying?" "It's true," Tommy giggled. "I inspected them." Sarah looked surprised at him. "Well, that's more than I wanted to know." But she was smiling when she left.
So, things were looking bright. But as we all know things are deceptive. Fate had kept out of Neil and Tommy's life for a while, but she was lurking in an alley waiting for a chance to meddle. Why? Because that's what Fate does.
What do you think? Have I lost it? (The touch, I mean). Please let me know at Acol@groenjord.dk I'll reply after Christmas, because I'm away for the holidays, but I promise not to keep you waiting like I have for a while. What can I say? Exams suck. Well, merry Christmas - I'll be back soon. (yes, that's a threat).