Saturday, September 15
I could have DIED from embarrassment. Maybe I did. I don't know. Maybe all of this is just a dream.
Mom and Aunt Lilly said they'd be out "all night". That usually means dinner and maybe a movie and then they do the bar scene and flirt with some old guys and maybe Mom gets home around midnight. Sometimes Aunt Lilly spends the night, sometimes not depending on if she has to work the next day. Friday nights she usually stays.
Huh... how long have I been calling her "Aunt" Lilly? Dunno... I guess since she and Mom became serious, which was a long time ago, Mom told me to call her "Aunt Lilly." I think that's right. Anyway....
So Mom started leaving me home alone at night after Becky headed for college last year. She said a 13 year old boy should be plenty able to watch himself for one night. Mom and Becky didn't realize I'd been dressing in their clothes every chance I got for the past couple of years. It started small -- they had pretty, soft things like cami tops and satin-y underpants, while all I had were cotton "boy clothes". I'd get things out of the dirty clothes so that no one would suspect anything, carefully make sure all of the windows were covered, and experiment with high heels (Becky's fit me perfectly) and pantyhose. Mom's clothes were just slightly too big for me, but I put on one of Becky's dresses almost perfectly. Mom let me wear my hair fairly long, and I've never had much hair on my legs or arms, so with a little simple makeup (just Becky's lipstick -- it matched me perfectly) I could really imagine for a few minutes that I was the "other sister" in the house. Sigh....
So last night, I thought I was going to die. Mom and Aunt Lilly left for the night, and I quickly grabbed a pair of Becky's cutest white panties with a sheer bottom and spent at least an hour working on my makeup. I was just perfect, and my hair, with its natural body, made me see a teenage girl when I looked in the mirror. Then, I headed for the back corner of Mom's closet, where she kept her sexiest nighties -- stuff she used to wear back when she used to date men. I grabbed a white babydoll right out of Victoria's Secret with a matching white garter belt and sheer white stockings, and a pair of Becky's white high heels. I've never felt so alive! I turned on a romantic movie, crossed my legs ever so girl-like, clutched a big throw-pillow, and pretended I was the heroine ending up in the arms of the handsome hero!
I thought I did everything right! I knew there was a chance I'd fall asleep, so I set the clock on my phone for 11pm. I never imagined that Aunt Lilly would get sick and decide to drop Mom off early. I jogged awake at the "sound" of the TV turning off and opened my eyes to see Mom sitting on the hassock across from the couch and smiling that all-knowing smile of hers. I immediately burst out in uncontrollable sobs, crying that I was sorry and begged her to forgive me.
Mom came over to the sofa and took me in her arms and cuddled me, wiping away my tears with a tissue, and telling me, "it's going to be OK," over and over. When I finally stopped crying, Mom said, "So, it looks like my Chris is really a Christy, eh?"
That started my crying again. I could just nod my head, and Mom cuddled me and rocked me with more of the "that's OK." When I calmed down again, she said, "I've known for a while. You can't hide things from me. I saw how you used my razor to clean up the little fuzz on your legs, and I saw how you'd used Becky's makeup. You know you look just like she did at 14, right?"
All I could do was sob and nod. Mom said, "OK, I'm going to show you how to use some makeup remover. You need to change out of this thing -- it's just for show, you know, and no good for actual sleeping. Now let's go get your makeup off and get you ready for bed."
After Mom got me started with a makeup remover, she went into Becky's room and came back with a wonderful white satin cami top. "You can wear the panties along with this. Tomorrow, let's talk about how Christy doesn't need to hide anymore, at least around the house."
With that, Mom tucked me in for the first time in years. I cuddled my pillow and she kissed me on the forehead. I had the most vivid dream that I was the heroine in a romantic adventure.
When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was write all of this down in a brand new diary. I can hardly wait for breakfast and to see what Mom has planned for me.