Transgender/She-male
I
As I entered the room, distracted, happy to be back home, entering head first into the living room, I suddenly stopped, frozen by the sight, my hand still gripped on the door handle. I saw two women bodies jumbled. One of them was spread on the sofa, arms moving up and down until they grabbed the hair of the other one who was kneeling on the floor. In a split second I pictured those long arms were just wavering in pleasure, to land a short moment on the head of the woman whose fingers were inside the wet mouth, and whose other fingers were hovering the wet parts of the hips; and then those first arms continued their random up path, only to land again on the moving head which now continued to burrow with increasing arousal between the legs. Laura? Cindy? How? When did this happen? I was amazed at the sight, but completely stunned to utter anything.
These two were not supposed to like each other, or so I thought. Each time I had seen them together, when I had brought my student to join us for a late breakfast after our morning Yoga class, a class with her, they had seemed distant, not interested in each other, with forced conversations or innocuous, superficial small talk. That dislike I sensed seemed real, but it perhaps turned into something else by the third and last breakfast, also after our Yoga session. One came to join us fresh from sleeping, the other slightly reddened by the deep exertion of a slow Yoga session.
I did not notice any attraction: it seemed to me that they still disliked each other's presence, that third time. After which I decided not to invite my Yoga student to breakfast with my partner anymore. I was obviously not good at reading the vibes. They actually had liked each other, and all that tension was just plain physical, contradictory, underground sexual attraction. I wildly thought that if I had tried to seduce her I did not stand a chance with my student, and none with my partner, apparently, while the student was around.
II
How were they together now? Had they managed to talk, to text, to chat during all these weeks? That seemed obvious. Had they met before tonight? They were clearly liking each other now. Laura was licking Cindy with a lot of excitement, very concentrated doing it. Cincy, the licked one, was very excited as I could tell from the noises coming her on the sofa. Neither of them noticed me at first, or so I thought. I stood frozen not willing to interrupt into their lovemaking. I liked Cindy, my Yoga student, young, good looking, upbeat albeit with bouts of mild depression that our Yoga classes and our short talks before and after class tended to calm down. I enjoyed the good looks of my students in Yoga class. But I concentrated mostly on body performance so my intent and attention when looking at hips, chest, knees, bottom, pubic area, elbows, etc. did not translate into any sexual desire or physical attraction.
I did however imagine my student Cindy, and others too, while I masturbated. Moreover, these sexual scenes with my students were part of the stories we wove in our lovemaking with my partner. I did not include one student specifically but my partner seemed to enjoy the group scenes as I commented how I taught the class naked with them joining me by swiftly removing their clothes. I would then observe every movement of their bodies, of a right breast sliding, a left breast hanging, an ass in the air, a mouth open and relaxed, smiling, a tongue out, a thong too tight, of pubic hairs sparse, many hidden slits... but I tried not to include in those stories this specific student; I believed that would be too much, as I had sensed dislike in their encounters.
I have never hooked with a Yoga student. I have never insinuated anything sexual towards my students. I have never corrected the position of my students putting my hands too close to sensitive and intimate parts, and only a couple of times have I accidentally brushed the breast of one student (well, they were really large, intrusive if you will). Have I had erections while being close to their bodies you ask? Only occasionally and only mild ones, often when I am grabbing their ankles for safety as the are on their heads, and I am facing their feet and stretched toes. Go figure.
I am happy of that -it gives me peace of mind, I have been able to separate both spaces. I am sure that imagining them in sexual situations in our own private turf is not the same thing. This does not mean that my partner never showed bouts of jealousy. She had it for this student. The last thing I would have expected in our lovemaking was curiosity about her: So tell me about Cindy? Tell me what you see as her hips move up towards you on bridge, as you watch from the top? Do you like her round mound? Sure enough these queries were never asked, but it seems that such scenarios were on the back of both our minds, never outspoken, fuelling our very personal fantasies.