LI/41
I reminisced about Simone. She is a fantastic woman. But I was sure that the next time I saw her, if that happened, she would be a different woman. The short leading role that her cock had been forced to have, at least with me, had been fleeting moment of intimacy never desired by her. I had stolen a short hardness state from her cock, which she dismissed constantly in our play. The short moments of pleasure I had eating her cock were not shared. That last time I insisted. I persevered to obtain the necessary hardness so that she could enter me. Yes she would be a different woman: she spoke repeatedly and decisively, about the surgery change her male sex. If I ever saw her again, would I be surprised not to find the cock I remembered down there? I follow many trans woman online. It pleases me to see how they show their bodies, which reflect a certain measure of confidence. It does not matter if they do it for money: there they are, feeling the femininity in public. It's only online; not many would really go about naked at the beach. Some do. I do. But that is another story. There is Emma, who I have been following for a while. She is not very imaginative, or rather, should I say, has gone the way of many: they start showing themselves in imaginative and enticing situations and poses, and then they settle in to patterns which end up being somewhat boring. Some, for example, stop showing their tits. And I, who really likes a flat chested girl, am disappointed by the prudish stances that take over. Sure, they do it for money, but not always. I often will see those tits again when they become larger, by the miracle means of modern surgery. Fine. We are dealing with human nature and not robots. Fact is that Eden has been lying on her side for quite a while not being very imaginative. She is a beautiful slender woman with a beautiful face, vivacious eyes, fine nose and thin-lipped mouth. She has small perky tits and small, slightly puffy nipples. A fantastic sight. She enjoys her not too large cock: she is always acknowledging it touching with her hand and slowly fondling it in its slow path to a hardening state. She is naked most of the time and has not decided to cover he chest as other girls end up doing. It is a real long time since Alexa does not show her flat chest or her fantastic tattoos: a multicolored with a large skull on her sternum and large leafless tree on a side of her torso with one large branch reaching the top of her ass. Great tattoo work. I kept some short videos from a while back when she showed her chest, flat and tattooed with nipples lost in the art, that I enjoy a lot. And in their feminine evolution, chances are that it is the breasts that get first enhancement: Valery, Mona, and Porcelain, to name some of the ones I liked. Heck, some girls like Marihana start with their ass, getting some incredibly bubbly cheeks to fill, from behind, those thongs. I have to admit that their new shapes are not always pleasing to me, but I am happy that they get to be closer to their wishes (of these three, Porcelain remains very attractive with a very hard, pointing-up, cock, in her new body. So I was shocked when Eden reappeared after a two-month absence with no cock. She now had a discreet sized vulva, no protruding lips and hidden clitoris. Why was I so impressed? Is it because she did not enhance her breasts first? Or because it is something that she had the courage to go through and I did not? Is it because she had seemed happy with her cock (unlike Simone -- although Eden has shown no partners) as it always had a role to play? Is it because she did not get more creative in the choice of shape of the labia, as I would? There were many questions in my head that I tried to answer. Let's see: Yes, enhancing one's breasts is perhaps the most common option. Eden did not think so. I can feel her: my breasts are my natural ones and I feel no need to enhance them. Then Eden was very courageous indeed, removing what is, no doubt, a most masculine trait. I do not feel the same need since I enjoy being a woman with a cock, and this cock gives me plenty of pleasure, alone, in company or simply at every moment (I like to tuck it, I like to have it free in my thongs). Sure, Eden seemed happy with her cock, but now she will be happier with her new vulva and soon she will be playing much more with it (she just reappeared yesterday). And then we come to the aesthetics, and, as I've said before, how I portray my vulva if I ever decide to go through the change like Eden, who chose a discreet shape for it. If I ever have a vulva I want it to have large and wide labia majora, flanking the meaty, flapping lips with a wrinkled edge of the labia minora which would cover a large clitoris, transformed from most of my glans and part of the shaft (but thinner that my actual cock). The clitoris would have a shaft large enough to be masturbated (did I want a very small cock?). The clitoris would have a shaft long enough to penetrate a vagina or an anus; perhaps only the very atrium of vagina and anus but I would be penetrating. The clitoris would have a hard-on strong enough to stretch my thong. This clitoris would not be too large so that I would not have to tuck it. If I opened my legs for someone (or something) I would like my prominent vulva to be able to swallow the cock, the tongue, the dildo or whatever comes entering those parts (I have no idea if a plastic surgeon would accept such customization but I find it unfair that he or she gets to choose its shape and frills). Of course this is just a fantasy, but that is what my vulva would look like. So here is Eden with her new body, ready to take, cocks, tongues, dildos, into the depths of her brand new vulva in addition to not renouncing, I hope, to the pleasures her ass gave her these last years, as I enjoyed it with her by proving the shaft to that pleasure hole. Perhaps seeing this change in Eden would prepare me to see Simone in her new body, if I ever found her again. Or perhaps not. However, I started to think --perhaps from a masculine perspective- about Eden's new virginity, and the one Simone will surely have (Does the plastic surgeon throws in a hymen for effect?). But that is not fair really. Why would women not think of the virginity of their lovers? Why would they not be thrilled to be the first in their young lover's flower? Eden would have her first lover and Simone would too. And both would have special moments in which they will feel fully female as their lover, for the first time, penetrates them with their cock. I had to find Simone again. It has to be me. Before the surgery so that perhaps I could give her a few hints. We would browse some O'Keefe books, we would seek in museums her paintings; I wanted to be with her for her quest. Do you picture the sights that I mean? Art is a departure from reality, and therefore each person sees different things based on her different backgrounds and interests (and perhaps fears). For me, the elongated and stretched shape of the petals with their wavy edges, and their subtle changes in color tones, the focus on the details at the center of the flower, call for a reminiscence, and representation, of the female vulva, no matter what the critics or even the artist claims. So I have a task at hand. "Yes, Simone, I will".
PS 15. My wife and I saw a room at the museum full of Georgia O'Keefe's paintings. There were flowers; there were landscapes. Reddish and yellowish desert landscapes where the shape of creeks and slopes looked like deflated flowers. I was seeing the same patterns, with narrow elongated gorges in the shape of vulvas. Hey, I am not crazy. Ancient societies also had a reverence for the holes and caves found in the rock. This is not Greek to me. "This is all very sexual" my wife said. "I feel aroused at their sight".