OK, people here it is; the third part of Cinematic View. Sorry it took me so long to get this segment out. I took my time with it in order to insure an overall better chapter then my last. So without further ado on with the show.
Cinematic View Part 3
Looking at Sean standing there, I knew I was about to have one of the best nights of my life. Here I am about to go on a date with the man of my dreams. I must have done something right in a previous life to be granted this opportunity. Just looking at Sean gave me goose bumps. The mixture of fear and excitement I felt is sure to make this an interesting night.
"Marc, you ready?" He questioned me again.
"Yeah, just let me get my keys." I ran into the kitchen, grabbed my keys, and quickly wrote a note to my father telling him I was going out and would be back later. Turning, I ran back to the front door to greet my date for the evening. "Okay, let's go." I said smiling.
Walking away from the house, I couldn't help but follow his perfect butt as it moved perfectly in his jeans with each step. I just couldn't keep my eyes off this guy. Knowing I was falling for him quicker with each passing day, I allowed the warm feelings I had sweep over and envelope me. At that moment, it was clear that I would give all of myself just to make Sean happy and to make him mine.
We walked down my driveway to a beautiful 1966 Mustang. It was painted midnight blue with black leather interior. I looked at this beautiful vehicle and thought of what a perfect chariot to take us on this enchanted evening. I was so into this date that nothing could ruin it for me.
Sean, ever the gentleman, opened the car door for me with a smile, waving his arm to invite me into the passenger seat of his car. I acknowledged him with a nod and a word of thanks. Once I was settled into my seat, Sean closed my door and walked to the driver's side.
Once we were both in the car, Sean turns, looking at me with his beautiful green eyes sparkling. "So, ready for a night I think we will both remember for years to come?"
"I'm ready for anything you and I get to do together." I hope I wasn't being too sappy saying those words. The last thing I wanted was to scare my dream guy because I'm a cornball romantic.
"That's sweet," Sean said with a grin. "Well, I hope you like Italian food because I have the perfect place to take you. It's this small Italian restaurant by my house. I don't know how to pronounce the name, but the food there is great just the same."
"Sounds perfect," I encouraged Sean on his decision of food.
We were driving down the road towards our final destination when Sean looked over at me with a smile and said, "You look really cute tonight, Marc."
Blushing from his comment, I looked at Sean, "You look absolutely spectacular." It was then my turn to see Sean blush. It was something I would have paid to see a million times over. Sean looked so adorable when he blushes. I couldn't help but sigh.
The rest of the car ride was filled with idle chitchat and nothing much of substance. Finally, we arrived at a small marketplace. It wasn't very crowded, being a weeknight. Sean parked and walked around to let me out of my side of the car. I couldn't believe how much of a gentleman he was being tonight. To be honest, I would've been happy with a drive-through dinner at McDonalds, as long as it was with Sean. We walked through the marketplace till we came to this small courtyard, and at the end was a separated part with tables and chairs. I figured this was the place.
The restaurant itself was like Sean, beautiful and full of life. The tables were covered with red and white print cloth. Ivy covered trestles bordered the patio area. Each table was given a single candle as the centerpiece. The walls were also light with candlelight giving a soft glow to the restaurant. To complete the picture was a small trio playing Italian melodies to the guest. I was captivated by the romance that oozed from this small piece of Italy.
We walked in to be greeted by an exotic looking black haired lady with a heavy accent. "Welcome," she said happily. "What can I do for you fine gentlemen this evening?"
"A table for two please," Sean requested.
"Ah, yes. And would you like to be seated inside or on the patio?" The hostess inquired.
"Do you have a preference Marc?" Sean looked at me.
"It is a nice night out. I wouldn't mind sitting on the patio," I said looking at Sean.
"Well, then patio it is," Sean said with a smile.
"Very good, and right this way gentlemen." The hostess took us to our table outside on the patio. "Here are your menus and enjoy your meal," she said leaving with a smile.
"So, what do you think?" Sean asked.
"It's wonderful. How'd you find it?"
"I came here once with my parents. I just couldn't get over the place. So I just continued to come here every so often. I'm just glad I have someone to share it with now." Sean gave me a quick smile then looked down at the table blushing. What a change of pace. I'm supposed to be the shy one, not Sean.
"Well, I'm glad it was me you chose to bring here."
"I'm glad too. It's funny, all this time we've been watching each other and we only now find out about one another. Well, just goes to show the best things come when you least expect it, right?" Sean looked at me with that look and I was captivated.
We ordered our drinks and then the food, making conversation about this and that. I found it so hard to keep my eyes off Sean the entire meal. I just couldn't tear myself away from looking into those green eyes of his. I would get lost in time while studying his face and every beautiful imperfection. I was sure I was in love. I spent most of the evening just admiring this god with whom I was lucky enough to spend time with.
"So, when are you going to tell me about yourself? I just mean we have spent all night talking about silly stuff and I have yet to know you, Marc. I want to know you." Sean's interest in me could be seen in his eyes.
"Well, I don't know what it is you'd like to know exactly," I responded.
"How about your parents?" Sean continued.
"What about them?" I retorted
"Damn, Marc. Why are you being so difficult about this? You afraid I'm not going to like you anymore if you tell me about your family? Well it won't, okay. I really do want to know about you." With that I could tell Sean was getting a little annoyed, so I decide to explain myself to him. I owed it to him.
"No, Sean, listen. This has nothing to do with you, okay. It's just, well, that I'm not exactly happy with my home life, okay. I just have a hard time letting people into my life." I took a deep breath and began to tell Sean about my life. If he was going to love me, it was going to be with the real Marc and not some lie.
I told him about my parents divorcing when I was six, and my brother and I being separated. My mother raised me, and my father raised my older brother. I was with my mom till I was twelve. Then one night we got into a fight; I called her a bitch. She then called my father and told him to come pick me up, and that I would be living with him from then on. I left to go live with my dad and things seemed good for a while. Then, however, my older brother and I started fighting all the time. I began to feel as though my brother hated me. This relationship continued with my brother Chris, till he finally moved out about two years ago. Chris was five years older then I. From then on it was just my dad and I. With it just being my father and I, things seemed good. That was as long as he didn't drink. My father was a good man, but at times he could neglect me, and at other times get abusive. The physical abuse was very rare. A smack here and a hit there, but the abuse was never a constant thing. It was the neglect that got to me. I grew up with a father more interested in golf and football season, than his own son.
In high school I began to withdraw from everyone and dive into my acting. The stage was my savior. I had come to terms that I was gay and that no one, even my family, would understand and accept. I knew I had to hide it. I had to act like the good straight son. Doing this made me miserable. During my freshman year, I gained weight like crazy and became very unhappy. When my sophomore year hit is when I met Christine and Jason. We all started working at the movie theater together. It was the job, Christine, and Jason that saved my sanity. I quickly became friends with the two of them. It was with that friendship that my life began to become livable again. They were the first I told about my sexuality and the first to accept me for me. With their help, I lost the weight and gained support I never got from home. The summer between my sophomore and junior year is when things reached a high point.
That summer is when I met Kevin. Kevin was this great guy I ran into while visiting my mother in Colorado. He lived next door to her. Kevin and I quickly became friends. We did almost everything together. Halfway through the summer, while Kevin and I were swimming at his house, he asked if we could talk. Being a good friend, I told him sure. After that talk Kevin became my first boyfriend. The summer continued on great. When it came time for me to come back home, Kevin and I promised to write and call. We were both great for the first few weeks, then he wrote telling me he had met someone else and that he still wanted to be friends. I was hurt a little, but knew that things could only survive so long as a long distance thing.
Returning to school for my junior year was hard at first. I was always thinking of Kevin. After we broke up is when I think my crush on Sean hit full force. I was more confident about my sexuality, but still not to the point of outing myself to Mr. Water Polo and Swim Team. So I played it safe and admired him from afar. The rest is what lead me here with Sean tonight.
I finished my life story, worried that Sean fell asleep with the boring details, but he stayed awake with interest. We sat in quiet for a bit while I waited to see Sean's reaction to my story. Sean finally spoke.
"That's so life for a 17 year old. In comparison to you, my life is boring."
"No, I doubt that. Your life is just as interesting as mine, I'm sure. Care to tell me about it?" I was through with my story, now it was time for Sean to share his.
"Well, It's only fair considering you told me about your life. However, there's not much to tell really. My parents are still together. I have two sisters, one older and one younger. We get along good as a family, I guess. Every summer my dad takes us on a family vacation to someplace special." Sean paused to take a drink of water then continued, with me eagerly waiting to hear more. "So, with those vacations I guess I have seen some interesting places. Have you ever been to Mexico?"
I simply shook my head no.
"Well, let me tell you it's beautiful down there. However, my favorite vacation was the one we took to Italy. Now that was fun." I sat there in awe as Sean told me about all the different places he's been. "I must say, if nothing else, that I should thank my parents for exposing me to different cultures. It really helped me learn a lot about the world and the people in it."
"Man, I'm so jealous. The only vacation I got was the plan on being shuttled between my parents. I would have loved the opportunity to go on some of the vacations you've been on. Unfortunately, neither of my parents ever really had the money for vacations. The money they would have used ended up taking me between Los Angeles and Denver." Saying all these things about my life brought feelings of resentment towards my family to the surface. Now, however, was not the time for that. I'm here to spend time with Sean.
"Sorry to hear that, Marc. Maybe one day we can go on a vacation together." Sean gave me that great smile and a little wink. Every time he gave me that smile, I found it so hard not to melt.
I immediately slapped myself for being so sappy. I just found it so hard not to be poetic and romantic around Sean. Though, when I looked over at Sean with him blushing ever so slightly, I calmed myself. "Sorry, Sean. It's hard to suppress the feelings of a romantic like myself."
"Don't apologize. It's nice to hear someone speak their feelings. I envy that about you, Marc. My entire life I've felt the need to be someone else, so I was never able to show my true nature. Over time it just made it hard to share my feelings, period." Sean reached over the table and gently brushed his finger along the side of my face. "Are you ready to get out of here?"
"Not if it means the end of this date." I smiled shyly at my escort for the evening.
"Not by a long shot, guy. I still have one more place to go to make tonight a perfect evening." With that, we paid our bill and left the restaurant in order to complete this night of wonder.
We walked out to the car and got in heading to our next destination of this date. The drive took us to the freeway as we drove to what I deduced was the beach. I guess Sean was really a romantic at heart. Here he takes me to a romantic dinner for two then we end up heading out for a moonlight stroll on the beach. I just thought he must be too good to be true.
"What're you thinking about over there?" Sean asked, breaking my train of thought.
"Nothing really, just thinking how much I will enjoy a moonlight stroll down the beach with you." I smiled.
"Hey, how'd you figure out that was where I was taking you?" Sean seemed a little hurt that I ruined his surprise for me.
"Well, I do live in southern California and considering the freeway you got on, it just leads me to the conclusion that we are headed for the beach." Reaching within, I built up the courage to put my hand on top of Sean's to let him know I didn't mean to ruin the surprise.
During the drive to the beach, we sat in silence, simply enjoying one another's company. I gazed out the passenger window as cars zipped past us on our journey down the freeway. I looked into the night sky at the sparse cloud cover and sighed at the beauty of the moon and the stars papering through the holes in the clouds. I could only think what a perfect night to be walking down the beach with this man next to me. I gently squeezed Sean's hand to let him know I was still thinking of him. Sean simply looked over at me with a grin.
The car ride finally ended with us parking right next to the beach. Getting out of the car, Sean walked to the trunk to get something. I was unable to see from where I was standing, but when Sean came back into view he was holding a large quilt. Sean walked over to me, took my hand in his, and we walked out onto the sandy beach of the Pacific Ocean.
We walked to a spot in between two lifeguard towers where very little light would shine on us. The beach front homes behind were dark, either because of the hour of night, or no one being home. Looking out across the sea, faint glimmers of light came from oil platforms or other sea vessels. I glanced at the night sky to see it still possessed the same beauty it had minutes before in the car. Sean spread the quilt out on the sand motioning for me to sit next to him. Taking my seat next to him, he once again took my hand in his as though he needed to as much as I needed to feel his touch.
We were sitting there in silence looking out at the night sky and sea, just happy to be with one another. The silence was broken then by Sean with an unexpected question.
"When did you know you were... well, you know... I mean. When did you first realize you were gay?" He ask so unsure of himself, it was adorable.
"I never gave it much thought really. I guess I kind of always knew. I remember in grade school I wanted to play doctor and give physicals to the boys and not the girls. It was in high school that I finally said that I was gay. I finally had a word to put to the feelings I had towards other guys." Telling this to Sean, I could see the wheels turning in his head as he processed the information. "How about yourself? When did you figure it out?"
"Well, I think it kind of hit me one day that guys weren't as off limits as everyone said they were. From that point on I checked out guys instead of girls." Telling me this, I knew Sean was keeping something from me, but I was in no hurry to push the info out of him. I simply figured he would tell me in his own time.
I began to move ever so closer to Sean, almost to the point of feeling his body heat. I was maybe an inch away when Sean scooted over, closing the distance between us. There we were sitting shoulder to shoulder out in the night air watching the night sky and the waves crashing on the beach.
"I'm really enjoying tonight. Thank you." I looked at Sean funny as he spoke those words.
"Thank me? Why? You're the one showing me this wondrous night. You are the guy that bought dinner. You are also the one doing all the driving. It should be me to thank you for tonight." My next words came straight from the heart and with the meaning of all my soul. I reached my hand out, touched Sean's perfect face, and said, "Sean, thank you for the best night of my life." With that, I leaned in and kissed him. Not hard or soft, but forceful and with all the passion for love I had. I gave it all to Sean in that kiss. At first it was just on the lips, then it progressed to open mouth with Sean as I was trying to devour the taste of the other. Finally, I broke the kiss as I whispered, "Thank you, Sean."
Sean was left speechless after our first kiss. The look on his face was one of complete awe. Then a smile slowly formed on his lips and his face lit up. "Well, I was saying thank you for joining me this evening. You could just have easily shot me down when I asked you out." Sean then leaned closer and took my hand in his, kissed it, and looked at me in the eyes and said, "So Marc, I say thank you for giving me the pleasure of your company." Then with those words Sean tilted his head a little, closed his eyes, and moved in to kiss me. I accepted the kiss as I felt him give the kiss the same amount of passion I had given my kiss to him. It was explosive and yet calm. I was intoxicated with everything about Sean and his kisses, just to add another thing to like about him.
"Wow," was the only word that could escape my lips after Sean's kiss. I just sat there looking into those blue eyes of his, captivated by my lust for him. My lust for Sean was now quickly becoming a love for him, soon filling this emptiness in my heart.
"You know you're not that bad a kisser yourself?" Sean joked with me.
"I think I'm more in shock that I actually got to kiss Sean Rialey than the kiss itself," I said, relating my feelings to Sean.
"Geez. Thanks Marc." Sean spoke hurt by my words.
"Oh no, please don't get me wrong Sean. The kiss was wonderful. I loved it. I just have wanted it for so long and now my mind is trying to compute the fact that I just kissed Sean Rialey, the man of my dreams. You can not imagine how many times I laid in bed dreaming of one day being able to kiss you." I took Sean's hand in mine and gently stroked it as I spoke to him. Showing how much I cared for him with such a simple gesture as stroking his hand.
"Truth be told, you're not the only one that lied awake at night dreaming of kissing their someone special. I think tonight has become as much a treat for me as it has for you." I was a little taken back by Sean's comment, because at no point did I ever think he fantasized about me.
"Sean, I..." Sean quickly shushed me by gently putting his finger to my lips. He then proceeded to kiss me once more. This kiss was almost urgent in its need. With his kiss, I was pushed to the quilt and was able to feel the sand squish under the combined weight of Sean and I. Slowly the kiss built in passion as our bodies began to grind together. A growing could be felt in my pants, as well as my ability to feel the hardness in Sean's pants as well. My body begged me to continue, it wanted the pleasure my dreams has seen. However, my mind was quick to stop this before either of us regretted our decision.
"Sean, wait." I gently pushed him off of me.
"What? What is it?" He questioned.
"I don't think we should take things that far on the first date. I mean, I like you and all, but I think if we are to make things work, we should take our time. You understand what I'm getting at right?" I could see a look of disappointment in Sean's eyes, but at the same time I could see a glimmer of understanding.
"Sure, I understand. And Marc, we can go as slow as you'd like. I think we both want things to work out for our best interests." I swear, he's so understanding. This boy has to be too good to be true.
"Thank you Sean for respecting my wishes. It means a lot to me." I gave him a quick peck on the check that was returned with a smile. "It's getting kind of late. I'd hate for this night to end, but I think I should get back home before my father skins me."
"Okay. Besides, it's always best to leave the first date on a high note, don't you agree?" Sean got up and stretched out his hand to help me up. I accepted it and he helped pull me to my feet.
"I agree with that. Besides, tonight has been so perfect. We shouldn't temp fate to screw things up." I helped Sean shake out the quilt and fold it back up to be put away once again in the trunk of his car. I then took a hold of Sean's hand as we walked back to the car.
The drive back to my house was a peaceful one. Sean and I joked, sang a long to the radio, and just made idle chat about school. The one constant through the entire car ride, was the fact that my hand never once left Sean's. I felt that by holding his hand, I was finally experiencing a moment of happiness with another human being. It was just by the warmth of his skin touching mine that I knew life would turn out all right. I looked over at Sean and smiled, thinking about my possible future with Sean and how much I just wanted to make sure that my future included him in it.
Pulling into my driveway, I found it hard to pull myself away form Sean. I knew that the night must end sometime, but I still wasn't looking forward to leave the side of my newfound boyfriend. Sean parked the car, got out, and opened my door for me the same as when he first picked me up. Helping me out of the car, we walked to my front pouch.
"Thank you again for this evening, Sean. It was amazing."
"Well, what can I say. It was my pleasure."
"Sean, I was thinking."
"That can be dangerous." He jokingly smiled with that comment.
"Shut up. Dork." I said smiling. "I'm being serious here."
"Okay. Sorry, go ahead." Sean apologized taking my hand in his as a sign that he was listening.
"Well, it's just after tonight and all. I was kind if wondering. Well, does this mean.." I stuttered a little, not sure how to word my feelings and afraid that I would make a fool out of myself for saying the wrong thing.
"Marc?" Sean looked me in the eyes with my attention not moving from him. "Are you asking if this means we're boyfriends?" Darn boy hit the nail on the head with that one.
"Well, yeah, actually that's exactly what I was wondering," I said scratching the back of my head in confusion. "I do hope the answer is yes."
"Of course it's yes, silly. I would very much like it if you would be my boyfriend, Marc." With those words, my face lit up as though I'd won the state lottery. Sean Rialey, the man of my dreams, wants me to be his boyfriend.
"Sean, you have just made me the happiest senior at Kelemmer High School! Heck, in the world!" I screamed excitedly.
"Slow down there, buddy. You need to understand though that neither one of us is out at school, so we have to be very careful. I would very much like to walk down the halls holding your hand, but that wouldn't be good for either of us." My face dropped as it dawned on me that he was right. Here I was, happy that I'm dating the man of my dreams, and I can't even show him off. I knew we had to watch it, but it didn't change the fact that I wanted the world to know that Sean Rialey and I were a couple.
"I understand. I don't like it but I understand. So what do you suppose our arrangement should be?" I was curious to see what he had in mind as far as keeping our relationship going, but still keeping it a secret from prying eyes.
"Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I think we should act like nothing's changed between us. I mean, let us stick with hanging out with our separate friends and do our own things during school, and the occasional after school activity. Then, when school's over, or we don't have any other commitments, we can spend time together." It definitely did sound weird to me, but I was willing listen to Sean's plan in its entirety. "We can still talk on the phone every night and all, but this way no one can suspect a thing. It won't be like all of a sudden we became great friends, as well as there will be no chance of us slipping up at school. You know, no accidental looks or a phrase that could end up getting us both in trouble." His logic in the matter made sense, so I was all for it.
"Sounds like a good plan to me. However, doesn't mean I won't be able to keep my mind off of you all day."
"You better believe my mind will be on you." Sean gave me a quick peck on the check with that. "I think I'd better get going." A frown appeared on his perfect face.
"I know, but doesn't mean either of us has to like it." I said frowning as well.
"Look, I'll see you in class tomorrow. Then maybe we can go out for coffee and a movie after school." He was still holding my hand as though he was as afraid to let go as I was.
"Sounds like a plan to me." With that we both leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was a typical goodnight kiss. It didn't hold the power that our earlier ones did. Then again, if it did, I fear Sean and I would be out on my porch long enough for God and country to see what we were up to tonight.
"Goodnight, sexy." Sean said as he walked back to his car seemingly depressed about our parting ways, but still with a small spring to his step.
"Night, good looking." I called back as he was getting to his car. Once to his car, Sean turned back and blew a goodnight kiss to me before heading off in his car.
Once out of sight, I turned back to my front door. Still on a high from this evening, I put my key in the door and proceeded into my home. Once inside shutting the door behind me, I slid to the ground, not from grief, but from joy. I flopped to the ground with a sigh. I just sat there thinking of this wonderful evening with Sean; and a better day tomorrow would be because I had something I haven't had in the past. I now had a boyfriend.
Ok so there you go. I hope you liked it. I love E-mail and am interested in any ideas and suggestion people might have. So please fell free to write me at Snowcase21@Aol.com.