I often wonder if there are other women out there who feel the way I do. If so how do they live in the real world and not have their fantasise drive them crazy. Cloe
I started a new job just three days ago. I graduated from college a month and a half ago. Hanging on the wall in the den is the glass-protected diploma they'd given me at the ceremony. I was truly an adult now. Financially I have no concerns; my parents upon their death had left me financially secure. So why am I sitting here on this chill fall night, a thick blanket draped over my shoulders an mug of steaming cocoa cupped between my hands? I keep trying to figure out why I'm so sad. Why when life is so exciting and new am I so alone? Why are my cheeks damp from silent tears? I know the answers to all these questions but fear holds my tongue from voicing my needs. The fear of shame, of rejection refuses to release me from the pretended script of a normal accepted life. The throbbing ache of desperation builds inside me. The familiar ache clenches my core. I resist as long as I can but waiting enhances the pleasure instead of denying it. I lean back pressing against the sofa. Without thinking my part, the blanket falls away revealing my naked legs, thighs, stomach, breast, body. My nipples tighten, pucker. The cool air on my heated skin is like a feathery kiss at first but as my nipples harden, it's as if a warm moist tongue has caressed them. They throb with each beat of my heart. I groan. I rub the warm mug across one sensitive nipple then the other. Oh! It feels like a warm tongue licking me. Desperation consumes me. I want a warm mouth, a wet tongue suckling me. I rub each nipple back and forth. I watch through a haze of pleasure as I play with each nipple. Raw sensual need burns through me. I set the mug on the table beside the sofa. I scoot down into a more comfortable position. My head is cradled against the arm of the sofa and my bottom cradled in the cushions. I spread my legs. Cool air caresses burning flesh. Hot glistening moisture clings to swollen lips and dampens silken curls. Oh! The pulsing hunger consumes me. Tears moisten my cheeks. Erotic scenes of my mouth tasting the sweet nectar of another woman consume me. I swallow imagining the taste of her sweet juices. I imagine her throbbing nipple filling my mouth. I lick her, suck her, nurse at her swollen breast. My mind screams with need as my body throbs and convulses. I can wait no longer, just the clenching of my visional muscles is exquisite enough torment to wrestle plea after plea from my lips. I'm desperate enough to go outside and beg any woman I can find to fill my mouth with her flavor, to let me taste her flesh. I scrape my fingernail back and forth across my nipple. I moan in pleasure, arch into the rasping sensation of pain and pleasure combined. My mind slips into a fantasy. A woman, I don't know her name but I want to serve her in every way. I'm hungry to kneel for her and give her use of my body. I need her to demand my submission; I ache to submit to her fully. I squeeze my nipples hard, pinching them, digging into them with my fingernails. I imagine she is piercing each nipple, attaching a ring through each one. I cry out, moaning into the pain basking in the physical pain and the emotional fulfillment. Each nipple is raw and throbbing. I have clamps in my bedroom. I love using them. I ache for days afterwards. I'm too deep in my fantasy to be able to make it to the bedroom. I imagine Her biting my nipples, pulling and twisting the hoops piercing them. The scenes playing through my head engulf me. I beg for submission it flows through me filling the gaps of who I am. I open myself to Her fully and beg her to use me. I imagine she lifts my hands to the end of the sofa and secures them there. I whimper, I won't find release until she frees me and allows me to bring myself to orgasm. I shiver. I love it when she tortures me this was. Moisture leaks past my swollen lips, trails down to the entrance to my behind. Cooling liquid sears me. I beg. I need to glide my fingers through the moist trail. I'm desperate to swirl dew soaked fingers around my clit. I want to spear one finger then two into that tight little entrance in my behind. My hands remain clenched above my head. I fight against the fantasy. I'm painfully throbbing. I need the release but the emotional and physical pleasures of the fantasy. I imagine she sits on the couch and instructs me to kneel between her legs. Physically I remain spread on the sofa my arms restrained above my head. In my mind, I'm kneeling between her legs. Gratitude and joy gushes through me as she buries her fingers in my hair and pulls me to her. Her pussy is so warm against my mouth. The warm musky scent of her fills my sences. I am so desperate for this. In my mind, I'm begging her to do this to me, and more. I feel so right having her use me. Oh heaven, sweet sweet heaven! I slip my tongue into the pool of juices at the entrance of her pussy. She tastes so good! My stomach clenches, I need to drink from her. I imagine her scalding liquid pouring into my mouth. She holds me pressed tight to her pussy and tells me to drink her, to swallow her gift for me. I imagine her sweetness spilling across my tongue, filling my mouth. I swallow her juices and hunger burns through me. I know what I want now. I want the ultimate submission. She guides my mouth to her clit. I love and need the submission she demands from me. I feel whole. Her beautiful nub fills my mouth. I lick and suck her. In my mind, I'm begging her with my mouth to require from me that most special submission of all. I know that once she fills my mouth with the cream of her orgasm she will reward me. So I lick and suck her beautiful clit. She holds my mouth pressed tight to her pussy. I know I'm her slave but her hands clenched in my hair reaffirm my position. Her clit is thickening. She bucks her hips her hands in my hair hold me in place. I quiver in anticipation as she fucks my face with her pussy. She screams out in pleasure, holds my stoking tongue to her clit, and rides the wave of her orgasm until her clit is too sensitive to touch. Then she lowers my mouth down to drink her cum. Finally! She brings my mouth up, holds it at the base of her clit. "Drink from me, Little One. Drink my gift to you. Swallow each golden drop." My pussy spasms. Warm liquid spills into my mouth. I swallow just as she instructed. Each gush fills me with pleasure. It's the submission, the utter demand of something so forbidden. I ache for it, need it in the very core of me. I drink from her, on the edge of orgasm I submit to the most erotically submissive request. The last drops of her gift flow into my mouth. I savor the experience. I'm eager for what's next. She guides my mouth away from her pussy and positions my mouth at her neither opening. I imagine in my head words of politeness for the acts of submission but in reality, she's placed my mouth to the entrance to her ass. She instructs me to lick her; actually, she's demanded that I fuck her with my tongue. My sense of propriety is falling away. In my mind I hear her instructing me to fuck my tongue into her ass. Lick her, suck her, she demands! My pussy is soaking. I beg her to release me, to allow me to cum. I arch my back lifting my aching breasts in supplication. My legs fall open wider. I lift my hips showing her my throbbing cunt and beg her to release me. I slide one hand down to my breasts and imagine I'm twisting and pulling the rings she's given me. I imagine the flavors of her body in my mouth. My other hand slides lower. The well of my pussy filled with creamy syrup beckons me and I torture myself by caressing the lips beside my clit, avoiding it then slipping one finger into my motel heat. My legs clench together trapping my hand securing my finger inside my pussy. I can come. I am so hot, so ready I could come right now like this. I imagine her demanding I spread my legs. "Show me you pussy," she demands. I spread my legs wide. My finger slipping from my core. The fingers of both hands spread me open so she can see the pool of creamy liquid. In my mind, she directs me. Ever in control of me. I ache to sink my fingers inside me; I need to stroke my clit so badly I'm almost in tears. I beg her to let me fill my needs. Instead, she tells me to sink three fingers deep into my behind. I know this will painfully spread my secret opening but the thrill of obedience and submission is intoxicating. I position three fingers pressing the tips against the enterance. "Do it now!" she demands. Violently I shove all three fingers as deep as possible into my behind. I hold them there while the pain causes me to clench around them. She gives me permission to stroke my clit now. One stroke, two, and the walls of my pussy are thickening. I'm ready to cum. But I stop. In my head, she tells me to stop. Only on her command can I resume stroking myself. "Keep your fingers buried inside your ass while you stroke yourself." She whispers. I imagine her watching my fingers buried inside my ass stroking in and out. Milky cream spilling from my desperately aroused pussy. My slick glistening finger, coated with my juices stroking back and forth slowly across my swollen clit. I remembered my mouth pressed to her pussy her cum flowing as I tongued her clit. Then the sweet opening to her ass. Last the sweet submission of being on my knees her pussy pressed tightly to my mouth while her scalding liquid, no her scalding pee filled my mouth and the feelings of completion as I drank every drop. I couldn't hold back now. These images burned through my mind and I rubbed my clit. Several times, I held back wanting to savor the sensations longer but finally I had no control. My pussy clenches aching for something to fill it and stroke the sensitive walls. As long as I could, I held on to her command to keep my fingers buried inside my ass. I came so hard, a river of cum built deep inside me then gushed to the surface spilling out from my pussy. I pumped my fingers hard in and out of my ass until I couldn't resist the clenching inside my pussy. I buried four fingers, spreading myself wide, so wide. Then I fucked my self so hard while I cried for my mistress to fuck me. My last thoughts of orgasm we being bent over the back of the couch while she spanked me first then buried a huge dildo deep into my ass. I ache for my fantasy to come true someday. I ache to be forced into submission. Only then will I find the wholeness and peace I yearn for.