Close to the Heart

Close to the Heart

Close to the Heart 

By: Hal(Copyright 2007 - 2008 by the Author) Editors: Radio Rancher & Str8mayb

The following is a complete work of fiction. Any resemblance to characters and real life persons is completely coincidental.

The following story contains violence and erotic homosexual situations and content. If it is illegal for you to read this, please leave now. Please do not copy or distribute this story without the author's permission. Author reserves all rights to this story.

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Chapter 02

The next morning, Tom woke to find presents on the table next to his bed. It was Christmas Eve day, and it was obvious that his parents had been at the hospital.

Tom was ready to rip the wrapping paper off, when he looked across the room. There wasn't anything next to Ian's bed. He wondered why.

Ian slept until the breakfast cart was brought into the room. His meds wore him out, and he always slept harder in the morning. The sounds of dishes being shuffled around worked better than any alarm clock.

Ian scooted up in his bed and looked over at Tom. Tom had tried to move the brightly wrapped boxes out of view, but he didn't quite make it.

Breakfast wasn't anything spectacular. (Well, Duh, it's hospital food, what do you expect?) The boys ate in silence. Tom didn't know whether it was something he said, or if Ian had noticed the gifts next to his bed.

They finished their food, and Tom wanted to find out what happened. They were so talkative the night before...

"What's up bud? Are you feeling okay, today?" Tom rolled on his side to watch Ian's reaction.

"No. I feel more nauseous than normal." Ian slid back down in his bed, and rubbed his stomach.

"Do you think it was the food they served us?" Tom tried to make light of the 'nutrients' they had consumed.

"No, it's ... the meds they give me. They make me sick sometimes." Ian forced a grin across his paled face.

"Are you sure, you don't look so good. It almost looks like your going to throw up." Tom scrunched his face up as he thought about breakfast. It didn't look good the first time around, let alone if it came back.

"It just takes some time is all." Ian kept rubbing his stomach, wishing the pain would go away.

Tom noticed the look of discomfort that Ian tried to hide. He reached and hit the button for the nurse. In a moment, there were two nurses in the room, and after Tom explained why he rang, they checked on Ian.

Tom kept a close eye on what they were doing. They checked his vitals, and took a blood sample. The last thing they did, was give him another pill.

Tom was intrigued as to the extra care they gave Ian. Was he really that sick?

"You didn't need to do that, ya know. I'm used to feeling like this..." Ian grimaced as the pill he took wanted to come back up.

"Why? Why are you used to feeling like this?" Tom's curiosity got the best of him. He tried to sit up and look at him.

"Because... I've gone through this, for months now. It's just getting more frequent is all." Ian rolled his eyes. Did he want to tell him the truth?

"How long have you been sick?" Tom tried to look him in the eye. He felt there was more to the story than was being told.

"Too long. Can you drop it now, please? I'm tired and need to rest." Ian let out a loud sigh, and rolled over.

"If you say so..." Tom felt bad. There was nothing he could do about the situation, but he wanted to at least try.

The phone by Tom's bed began to flash. Not knowing what else to do, he picked it up. It was his mother on the phone.

The usual pleasantries were exchanged. Tom thanked her for the presents, but was curious as to why they weren't visiting.

She tried to soften the truth, and it almost worked, until Tom heard his dad in the background. He was shouting something insulting, about "those" kind of people, and he was going to sue his damned insurance company for putting his only son in the same room.

Tom didn't know what to think. He had always been told to respect people, no matter who they were, or what they believed. Naomi didn't want to upset her son, and told him another white lie, and said that she needed to go shopping. What an abrupt phone call, that made.

Tom put the phone back, and stared at it. What was his dad talking about, "those" people. Why was his mom trying to cover up for him?

Tom lay back, and tried to think of every angle of the conversation. He didn't get anywhere with his own thoughts.

Sheila interrupted his thoughts when she walked into the room. She needed to check Ian's vitals again. She scribbled something down on his chart, and turned to leave.

"Is he going to be alright?" Tom whispered to her back.

"What?" Sheila almost didn't hear him.

"Is he going to be okay? He said he's sick, but he won't say anything more to me." Tom couldn't look her in the face.

"He hasn't told you? Oh dear... I don't think it's my place then." Sheila looked at his sad face. She knew, but she couldn't break the confidentiality of patients.

"Huh?" Tom looked up as she left the room. 'There's something going on, and I want to know', echoed through every fiber of his being.

Tom lay back and almost fell asleep. It was lunch time before he knew what was going on.

Ian grumbled as the nurse woke up him up. He didn't look any better than he did after breakfast.

Again, the boys ate their meal in silence. Tom wanted to ask, but Ian didn't look like he would answer anyway.

Ian had problems swallowing his food. It looked like he was eating glass chunks with the effort he made as he swallowed. Tom watched his new friend out of the corner of his eye. He could tell that Ian wasn't in good health, but the total look of suffering that he had, was heartbreaking. The rate, at which Tom finished his lunch, went from slow to slower. How could he enjoy his food, while Ian could barely manage to get the food down his throat?

When Tom was finished, he looked at Ian, who had managed to get about a quarter of his lunch down.

"Not very hungry?" Tom whispered across the room.

"No. It just hurts too much to try. Maybe this time, it will pass like all the other times." Ian pushed the table away from him.

"Other times? How long has this been going on?" Tom's voice expressed the concern he had for Ian.

"It's been some time now. It comes and goes, but it seems to be sticking around more now." Ian tried to answer, and ignore the hellfire that his insides went through.

"Isn't there anything they can do? I mean, you're in a hospital for f**ks sakes." Tom was

riled now. He didn't like to see anyone suffer.

"They are doing the best that they can. They have made it tolerable so far." Ian looked at the concerned look on Tom's face. There was real worry behind those grey eyes.

"Are you sure? Looks to me like they could be doing more..." Tom didn't finish his sentence. He didn't know what to think about Ian's health. He just didn't know what to think.

"Can you drop it please? I'm not feeling like talking about it." Ian turned his head and stared at some invisible spot on the wall.

"Sure, guess so." Tom looked at Ian, and couldn't even fathom the depth of pain that he was in.

Ian closed his eyes, and started snoring. His pills and the bad feelings that he was in overtook him. Sleep was the only place he could be, and not suffer, much.

Tom didn't know what to do. He started to care about Ian, and wanted to help in any way possible. But how?

Sheila came back into the room to get the dirty dishes. She looked at Ian, and shook her head. She noticed how much attention Tom paid to her movements.

"Feeling a little restless?" Sheila stacked the trays, and gathered the silverware.

"I'm worried about Ian. I wish there was something I could do for him. He seems to be getting sicker as the day goes on." Tom's eyes were misty.

"Well hon, I wish there was too. But I think you are doing the best that you can do right now. Being there, and being a friend for him." Sheila made sure nothing would fall off the cart, and headed for the door.

"Why haven't his parents, or relatives come to visit him?" Tom's curiosity got the best of him again.

"I think he will have to answer that one for you. Let him sleep now, and ask him after dinner." Sheila smiled at his concern, and walked out of the room.

Tom watched the door close. Why was there all this secrecy about his health, and now his family?

Tom lay back and focused on the tiles in the ceiling. He was having many thoughts run through his head, but none of them made sense. He ended up falling asleep.

The door opening woke him up. It was already dinner time. Sheila brought in the food trays, and placed one on Tom's table, then went to wake up Ian. He was less than enthused to be bothered from his sleep again.

Ian was grumpy when he first woke up. He snarled at Sheila and made her jump. He hated being woke up, where the reality of his suffering took on a new dimension.

Tom poked around at his food. He hated eating alone, when his friend had so much trouble trying to eat his food. This meal was different; Tom had more solid food, while Ian had softer foods that didn't require much chewing.

The meal went by as the previous two had, not much conversation. When Tom had finished, he lay back and kept a watchful eye on Ian.

"It's kinda weird when someone watches you eat." Ian glanced at Tom.

"Oh, sorry. I'm just worried about you is all." Tom looked away.

"It's okay. I'm just not used to having people around. I've been here so long and no one even comes to visit." Ian put his spoon down. The Jello didn't even have a taste to it.

"Where is your family? Don't you have parents?" Tom couldn't help but ask.

"Yes, I do. But ... they don't come around any more." Ian pushed the food away; he couldn't stomach anything at the moment.

"Do you mind if I ask why?" Tom was curious, but more concerned for his friend's feelings.

"After ..." Ian turned his head away before he finished. He didn't want the tears to be seen.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here." Tom caught a glimpse of the hurt in Ian's eyes.

"Thanks... for being a friend." Ian's shoulders shook as he couldn't hold back the crying.

"No need to thank me. It's me who should be thanking you. You helped me realize that my friends are what matter most. And I shouldn't ever forget them." Tom turned his head and faced Ian. He wasn't afraid to cry in front of him.

Ian looked toward Tom. He was right. He nodded his head in agreement, then reached for a notepad. He wanted to write something down before he forgot.

"What're you writing? A letter to someone?" Tom noticed how busy Ian was with the pen and paper.

"Yes, now shush. Let me finish this before I forget what I want to say." Ian had a genuine smile across his face, before he turned back to the paper in his hands.

Tom felt relieved. Maybe this was a turning point in their friendship.

Ian wrote, and wrote some more after he took a minute or so break. Tom tried hard not to stare, but became enthralled with the concentration that possessed Ian.

Ian finished his letter, and lay it aside after he closed the notebook. He was tired. That was the most movement he had done, in quite some time.

"Did you finish?" Tom watched Ian place the pad of paper on his table. It was in plain view, but out of his reach.

"Yeah. I did." Ian had a look of relief wash over him.

"Can I ..." Tom needed to know.

"No... not just yet." Ian looked at Tom. He knew Tom was going to ask.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready then." Tom couldn't help but be intrigued by Ian's change in mood.

"And when are you going to open your presents? Waiting for tomorrow?" Ian wanted to change the subject.

"Well..." Tom didn't know how to explain it. He wanted Ian to have something to open too.

"Go ahead. I don't mind, really." Ian had a smile across his face as he eyed the presents that Tom tried to hide.

"Only as long as you open one with me." Tom grinned when he saw the glisten in Ian's eyes.

"But... but I don't have one." Ian looked at the floor.

"If you come over here, I can share mine with you." Tom started to blush, when the sound of his own voice registered in his mind. It almost sounded like he said something different.

Ian watched Tom's face turn the darkest shade of red.

"I hope you meant presents..." Ian smiled at Tom's embarrassment.

Tom couldn't get the blood to leave his cheeks. He nodded his head instead.

Ian looked around the room, and then surveyed Tom. Was this safe for him to do?

Ian crawled out of bed. He immediately grabbed his stomach as the spasms hit him.

"You okay?" Tom sputtered out at the sudden movement.

"Yeah. Just give me a sec to get there." Ian caught his breath, and took his time crossing the room.

Tom tried to reach around to grab the table, while he kept a close eye on Ian.

"Go ahead, grab them. I'll get there." Ian took baby steps to Tom's bed.

Tom scooted over to make room for Ian to sit down. He twisted his body and grabbed the top two presents.

The two small boxes seemed just to be the right size to open the day before the holiday.

"You go first." Tom scooted up the bed, and tried to sit up.

"No, you first." Ian blushed as he watched Tom move.

"Let's do it at the same time then." Tom placed the small box on his lap and waited.

"O-okay." Ian turned and sat with one leg bent. This was a new experience for him.

"Alright, on three. Ready? One...two...three." Tom watched Ian's eyes grow large as saucers as the paper began to rip.

"Oh wow!" Ian looked at the hand held game like he'd never seen one before.

"Kewl. I always wanted one of those." Tom couldn't hold back his enthusiasm.

"Hey, you cheated. You didn't open the one you have." Ian's smile fell as he watched Tom.

"Oh, yeah." Tom opened the package. His eyes lit up as it was a bonus pack for the game that Ian held.

"Oooh! That's soo neat!" Ian got excited. He'd actually never seen or been able to play with the new games.

"Looks like we'll have to share, huh?" Tom winked as he noticed the grin plastered on Ian's face.

Ian stopped smiling. He placed the game on the bed and turned to get up.

"Hey, where you going?" Tom reached for him.

"It was a nice gesture, but ..." Ian stood up and stopped.

"But what? I can't share with my friend? My only friend?" Tom sat upright, with his hands at his sides supporting his body. His eyes watched the impression where Ian sat fade as the blankets moved.

"They are your gifts. These are your presents..." Ian couldn't turn and look Tom in the face.

"No. You're wrong." Tom had a sly grin on his face as he looked at Ian's back.

"What? What're you talking about?" Ian turned and faced Tom.

"That was my present to you. My new best friend." Tom smiled like the cat that just ate the canary. He wanted to do something for Ian, and it dawned on him.

"What? You're just gonna give me this?" Ian picked up the game and stared at it.

"Well, friends do special things for each other. I decided you needed a present, so I gave you one of mine. It's just the luck of the draw." Tom watched Ian's face change from one of hurt, to an overly joyous smile.

"Y-y-you sure?" Ian couldn't take his eyes of the game.

"Yes. I've never been more sure in my life." Tom scooted the accessories across the bed towards Ian.

"I-I –I don't know what to say..." Ian sputtered out as tears ran down his cheeks.

"A simple thank you, would work. Or a hug..." Tom didn't care. He was happy to bring some joy into Ian's life.

Ian almost dropped the game. His eyes peered over to Tom.

"A h-h-h-hug?" Ian's body began to tremble.

"Is there something wrong with a hug? I used to hug Derek and Jeremy all the time. There's nothing wrong with it. Friends hug each other." Tom tilted his head and watched Ian. He'd never seen anyone react like that. He held his arms apart, in hopes of getting his wish.

Ian's brain tossed it back and forth. There wasn't any touching allowed in his family, especially since ...

He couldn't help himself. If a simple hug was the payment for this wonderful gift, he was willing to chance it. He stepped closer to Tom, and tried for a quick hug.

"Oh no you don't." Tom grabbed Ian and made the hug count.

The emotions rose, the good and the bad. Ian couldn't help but cry as he was held by Tom.

"It's okay. Everything's going to be okay." Tom whispered into his ear. Without thinking about it, he gave Ian a small peck on the cheek.

"No, you can't do that." Ian jumped back, and tried to wipe the kiss off.

"Why? Did it feel bad or something?" Tom was surprised at Ian's reaction.

"No." Ian kept trying to rub his cheek.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. I just thought..." Tom lowered his head in embarrassment.

"It's not that I don't think you're cute and all, it's just that..." Ian wanted to let him know, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Can we still be friends at least?" Tom glanced up, and caught the blush that was a surely a Kodak moment.

"Well..." Ian tried to hide his excitement. He watched Tom like a hawk, for any signs that he was going to try something else.

"Okay, how bout we just try out your new game, and no touching then." Tom scooted further to the opposite side of the bed.

Ian nodded his head in agreement and sat down on the side of the bed.

The two boys opened the packages, and had parts and pieces spread all over. Once they figured out how to put batteries in, and decided which game to start with, that was all it took.

They were laughing and giggling the rest of the night. Ian had to sit closer to Tom, so he could watch. True to his word, Tom kept his hands to himself.

They didn't watch the time, or care about it. It was their time to have fun. Sheila poked her head in the door a few times, to check on them. She noticed how much fun they were having, and left them alone.

The night was getting late, and Sheila had to tell the boys more than once to be quiet.

The final time, around 10pm, it was med time. The boys groaned, but they were reminded that tomorrow was another day.

Ian winked at Tom, and gave him a quick hug and peck on the cheek before he tried to walk back to his bed.

He was almost to his bed, when his knees began to buckle. Sheila was at his side, and helped him into bed.

"I knew you were getting too tired. It's way past your pill time, and you need rest, young man." Sheila tried to scold him, but enjoyed watching the boys have fun.

"Yeah, yeah. And you always say, tomorrow is another day... what happens when..." Ian stopped when he looked at Tom keeping an ever watchful eye over him.

"We'll cross that bridge, when the time comes. Now, your pill." Sheila didn't want to spoil the mood either.

Sheila made sure Ian swallowed his meds, and then went to Tom's bed to give him his pill. The doctors wanted to make sure he got sleep, and prescribed something to make sure it happened.

"Now boys, get some rest. It's already late." Sheila watched them as she backed out of the room.

"Thanks Tom. That was the best gift anyone has ever given me." Ian sniffled as tears trickled down the side of his face.

"No prob. And thank you, Ian. You made this a wonderful day." Tom watched him, as the look on his face changed.

"Oh, the pills are making me feel sick again." Ian rolled on his back and started to rub his stomach.

"You want me to call the nurse?" Tom tried to sit up, but the excitement had worn him out, and the pills were fast acting.

"No. I think it will pass soon." Ian let out a loud yawn.

"If you say so..." Tom tried to resist, but sleep was coming to claim him. He closed his eyes, and was lost to the world of dreams.

Tom woke to noises in the room. It wasn't Ian moving around, but nurses moving the bed.

"Where's Ian? What happened to him?" The panic in Tom's voice was elevated.

"Sorry dear. But... here, this is for you." Sheila was crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she had been crying all night.

"What's this?" Tom accepted the notebook, and the game almost slid off the top.

Tom stared at the worn out notebook. Ian had scribbled on it over time. Tom looked at Sheila as she tried to leave.

"Ian... is he..." Tom choked out.

"He wrote you a letter hon, read it." Sheila couldn't help herself as she broke down in tears and had to leave the room.

Tom centered his attention on the spiral book in his lap. He sat up and tried to clear his mind. What was going on?

He opened the book with enough care as if it might crumble in his hands. Tears began to fall as he started to read.

To Thomas,

If you are reading this, then it was time. Time for me to go someplace that doesn't have the pain that I've been put through.

I told you I was sick. I didn't lie.

I was diagnosed with HIV, some months ago. I contracted it through a tainted blood transfusion. And since, everyone except you, has turned a blind eye towards me.

You are one true friend.

For that, I'm the luckiest kid alive.

When my parents won the lawsuit against the parties involved, they too, left me alone. I think they are sitting somewhere on the beach, drinking to their hearts content.

I'm so sorry, things couldn't have worked out. I started too really like you.

Don't be sad, this is what God had plans for me to do.

Just like His plan, of me meeting you.

Thanks, for being a friend.

Ian Carlson

Ps, I had to add to this, after you went to sleep.

Your sharing your presents with me, and the hug and kiss (which was REALLY nice, btw) made all the suffering I've gone through worth it.

Thank you so very much, for making my last day, so special.

Well, I've fought off the meds for too long. I think in some weird way, I knew it was my time.

Thank you for making this short life of mine, worth living.

And don't be sad, my suffering is over. I will never forget you. NEVER.

And thanks for loaning me the game to play.

Every time you play it now, you will think of me.

Take care of yourself Tom.

Hugz Ian

To be continued

Authors note: This story is tied into Sean's Angel, my other story posted here. Please give it a read, if you haven't already.

Thank you to my editors for their help in making this story into what it is today.  Comments and criticisms are always welcome.  Please forward them to old.weird.hal@gmail.com  For those of you wishing to read ahead in the story, you can find additional chapters at http://www.tickiestories.us or  http://crackerwriter.us/Main_Site.htm or http://www.storycove.us/index.html or http://www.myspace.com/stories_by_hal

Thank you all and hope to hear from you soon!