Ok that was a long summers break but I hope you can forgive me for that. I am trying to write a bit more and of cause soon there is a big celebration coming up. I attend to post until the end of October on a regular basis but we will see how writing goes.
For now guys just to remind you all if you want to see more about my writings visit my website at www.geocities.com/timsfunplace
Or if you want to kept updated with new updates on my website you can join my yahoo group at groups.yahoo.com/group/underwearspankinggay.
At last I want you to remind of the fact that for the celebration I want to make a map of the world with on it where all my readers are from so if you want to be a part of that or want to give comments on this chapter send me an e-mail at noway16@hotmail.com.
Now here is chapter 54
Chapter 54
"I think we're going to be back just in time for lunch," Francis said as we approached our house.
"My god! Look at that, Francis ... there must be quite a crowd there."
"Yes, there are at least ... what is it ... four cars?"
He was right. There were four cars parked outside and, to be honest, I didn't like it one bit. I didn't want to be around crowds. I followed Francis into the house. We heard voices coming from behind the door. When Francis opened it, I saw quite a few people there. I saw Alexei and Brian and Peter ... so I guess Andy and Andrew were there, too. I backed off and turned around. I didn't want to go in ... they'd stare at me ... I couldn't handle any questions or remarks. No, I was definitely not into that now. I was just happy how things had gone with Francis.
Walking hand in hand had felt so good and still so difficult.
I walked quietly to the stairs and up to my room. I noticed that Francis had start talking as he walked and, as no one came after me, he must not have noticed that I'd turned around instead of following him.
I laid down on my bed. I heard some voices downstairs and then someone walking up the stairs. That was to be expected, I thought.
I wondered who might have come up. I didn't think it would be Francis. I guessed it'd be dad.
There was a knock on the door. "Come in," I said as I knew I couldn't stop them anyway.
"Maybe I come in?" Alexei said as he put his head around the corner of the door.
"Yea, you don't have to ask," I said.
"You OK?" he asked.
"Yea, I talked with Francis this morning."
"That's good then, or not?"
He sounded worried. "Yea, it was Alexei, but we have a long way to go yet."
"Probably ... but you know you can trust him."
I nodded my head, not sure I could trust my voice if I'd tried to answer that one.
"You're not hungry then? Lunch is just about ready."
"I thought it would be," I answered quietly, not looking at him.
"Oh, too many people around?"
I thought he'd know the reason, so I just nodded.
"They're all friends, you know, Nick."
"Yea, I know Alexei but ..."
"You're afraid of questions, of what they might say?"
I looked at him. "Wouldn't you be?"
"I might ... but you'll have to face them at some point. There's no better time than now."
I looked at him. He was going to push me, I could feel that. He'd not give up before I went down with him. I could fight him but I'd lose, I was sure.
I sighed deeply and said, "OK." I know it didn't sound very convincing. A small smile appeared on Alexei's face. "I must warn you, though, Keith is here too and I guess he'll want to have a talk with you after lunch."
"Yea, I guess I have to."
"No, Nick, you don't have to, only if you want to."
"I think I need to, Alexei. I talked with Francis about that this morning, too. But I can't get that bastard out of my thoughts, much as I want to, and I didn't foresee all the consequences of what happened."
"Well, Keith and the people from the Justice department will, I guess, tell you what'll happen."
"So I don't need to decide on anything yet?"
"No, I guess not. Listen to what they have to tell you and then you can take it from there."
"Hmmm ... we'll see then. Is anyone else around?"
"Yea, Randy is here."
"He is? What is he doing here?" I started cheerfully but gradually I realized why he was here: he was pitying me, just like the rest. I almost sat back on the bed.
I felt Alexei's arm on me. "Come on, Nick, they all just want to cheer you up."
"I know, but I'm not sure if I'm in the mood for that."
"Well, you'll have to eat, too, so ..." He more or less pushed me downstairs but, after a minute of slight resistance, I let him do it. I know that he wouldn't have pushed if I'd really resisted and had wanted to stay upstairs.
When I opened the door, there was still talk but when I entered they all stopped talking.
"So, now we can start lunch," Alexei said, knowing that this was exactly what I'd been afraid of.
Everyone sat down and slowly resumed their conversation. Well, almost everyone faltered as Randy came walking towards. I'm not sure what happened as he came closer. I could have sworn that, with the way he was looking at me, he was about to say something about what had happened to me ... that he was sorry or something inane like that ... when a gentle smile came over his face and, stretching out his hand, he said, "Good to see you again, Nick."
I mumbled something similar back. I was happy he didn't try to hug me. Alexei pushed me the other way, to my normal chair at the table. I saw some concerned looks on my dad's face but he continued the conversation that he was having with Keith.
I must admit that they all did their best to be as normal as could be. There were no silent breaks in the conversation and, now and then, one of them tried to get me involved. I just didn't want to. I was trying to eat something and talked a bit with Francis, I sensed much to his pleasure. I more or less ignored the rest, too afraid to make a mistake.
I saw that most of them had finished their lunch and continued to talk.
"Are you finished, Nick?" Francis asked quietly.
"Yea, I think so," not that I'd eaten a lot.
"You think you can talk with Keith now?" I looked up at him as he said it.
"You'll have to do it at some point, you know."
"I know, I guess ...," not wanting to do it now or with so many people around.
I knew we could go into my dad's study, but just asking Keith to go with me would make them all fall silent and I didn't want any attention drawn towards me.
My dad, who was sitting on the other side of the table, must have gotten some sign from Francis as he turned towards me. "You can go to the study if you want, Keith, and I'll follow you in a minute."
I stood up. I'd been right: they'd all gone silent as soon as I stood. "I just need to go to the washroom ... go on, finish your lunch," I said with a forced smile on my face.
I walked out the door, knowing that they'd kept up their normal conversation, so that at least was good.
I went into the study, sat down on one of the chairs, and waited. I dreaded the questions that Keith was going to ask. I know he needed an answer to the crucial question: was I going to press charges or not? I knew, deep in my heart, that I didn't want to. But probably that was the only way to keep Mike behind bars as long as he wasn't cooperating ... and I just knew he wasn't.
I was a bit startled when the door was opened and my dad and Keith walked in. "Just us, son," he said.
"We need to talk," Keith said the moment he sat down.
"I know," I answered. "I'd planned to come to the station this afternoon if you hadn't come here."
"Well, a lot of things have changed this morning and I think your dad had better bring you up to speed with them before we continue."
I looked surprised at my dad. "He isn't free yet, is he?"
"No, not yet, Nick."
"Good! I'm just concerned he might. As you've probably guessed, I want him behind bars, but I'm not sure if I can go through with it ... I've just got so many questions about what will happen."
"Yea, we thought you would ... that is why I asked Keith to stay over for lunch after our morning session with everyone," my dad answered.
"Morning session?" I asked.
He got out of his chair behind his desk and walked towards me. When he reached me, he got on his knees and looked at me. "I know this isn't what you expected or wanted to hear, Nick, but circumstances have changed a bit."
I looked from him to Keith and back again. "How?"
"Well ...," my dad slowly started to explain why everyone had gotten together, why Randy had flown in, what news he'd brought. I know that, when the Internet was mentioned, tears had started to roll down my cheeks. This couldn't be true! I'd hoped that the camera was only for his own personal use, but that he hadn't broadcast it on the Internet. And the doctors! Those two creeps were part of it again ... I should have known. I just sat there, not able to say anything, not even wanting to say anything. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not in front of them. And damn! It meant that Randy must have seen what had happened to me! How could I ever face him again knowing that .... I more or less lost it at that point. I have no idea exactly what happened but it felt as if I'd just been kicked in the face and was left knocked out. All the work I'd been doing during the morning to get a grip on things was shredded to pieces.
My dad tried to hug me to comfort me but I pushed him away. Later, I was told that I got up and started to throw things, almost everything of throwable size. I must admit that, afterwards, I didn't remember very much. My shrink later revealed to me that it was more or less a natural thing to happen and that, if it hadn't happened then, it would have come up at some point later. The anger that had been building up about what they'd done to me had to come out some way.
When I came to my senses again, I was lying in my bed. It was dark outside and David was sitting beside me. At first I didn't know how I came to be in bed but, gradually, I started to become aware again of what had happened that day.
I turned around and saw that David was looking carefully at me. I know he must have noticed me come around. "Just stay in bed, Nick. I'll get dad," he said as he turned around to go to the door.
"You know, don't you, David?"
I guess I surprised him a little bit with that questions but he turned around.
"About the Internet, Nick?" he asked.
I just nodded. "Yea, Randy came to tell us this morning."
"Is it still on there?"
"No, I think they made sure the provider closed the site by now."
"Good," I answered shortly.
"You want me to get dad?"
I just nodded again.
My god! What had happened? I knew they'd told me about the Internet and so on, but my response was more or less blanked out, it seems. My dad quickly came into the bedroom and I was shocked when I saw he had a small bandage above his left eye.
Had I done that? I must have, I thought. I tried to get out of bed, intending to say to him I was sorry but, when I was halfway up, I started to feel dizzy.
"Take it easy, Nick. The doctor warned us that you'd feel a bit groggy when you woke up."
I laid back on the bed and whispered, "Did I do that, dad?"
"Oh, that's nothing," he said.
"Damn!" I said.
"It's OK, Nick. I guess you were entitled to get upset about it all. We should have seen it coming."
"I'm sorry, dad."
"No, don't be, Nick. It was at least a response to what we told you, and that's better than no response at all. At least that is what the doctor said to us before he gave you a small sedative to calm you down."
I tried to remember what had happened but I couldn't.
"You're OK now, Nick?"
"I'm not sure. What ... what if I ... what if someone comes up to me who has seen it? I'll have to live the rest of my live with that thought and ..." I started to cry.
"We don't know yet what happened with it, Nick, and how much of it was put on the Internet. We need to know more about it before we're sure."
"The doctors?" I started.
"There is a warrant out for their arrest. But I don't think Keith has heard from the office whether they've been caught."
"Is he still here then?" I wondered if he'd witnessed my outburst. Would he have waited for me to recover?
"Yea, he's still here. He wasn't sure if you wanted to know the consequences of all this when you woke up."
"I'm not sure I want to, dad. I think I've had enough for one day. Well, maybe not ... maybe one question: will this make it easier to get them behind bars?"
"Definitely, Nick, you might not even need to take the stand."
I closed my eyes. I'd a lively imagination. I could just see myself, standing up there in front of a full courtroom. I sighed loudly, then waited.
"So, shall I ask him to come back tomorrow?"
"Who?" I said absently.
"Keith. Shall I ask him to come back tomorrow to talk about the next steps?"
"Yea, in the morning, please, so I can do something nice in the afternoon."
"OK. I'll be right back." He stood up and walked to the door.
"Can you ask Randy to come in?"
"Are you sure?"
"He's still here?"
"Yea, everyone is," he answered. "If he wants to see me, please."
"OK, but as soon as you feel shaky, you should send him out again. I don't want you to get upset again."
"No, I'll be fine, dad. I guess I worked through my first stage of anger already."
I waited for Randy to come up. I wanted to know what he'd seen and to make sure he wouldn't tell others. I knew I couldn't handle that and, as I'd told my dad that morning, it was up to me to tell others.
I heard someone walking upstairs slowly and the door was pushed open. "You wanted to see me, Nick?"
"Yea, if you don't mind, come on in."
"Thanks, Nick. I wanted to talk with you, too, but I wasn't sure you'd want to."
"Well, I must admit I was a bit surprised when I found you were here but now ... well ..."
"Yea, I thought you wouldn't expect me."
He sat down on the side of my bed ... a little bit too close, in my opinion, but I couldn't ask him to sit on the chair.
"You're OK now, Nick?"
"As far as can be, Randy."
"Yea, it'll take time, I know."
"So did you see it?" I asked him quietly, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
"Some of it, Nick."
I blushed a bit, I could feel my color rising. "What?" I asked.
"Only the beginning, until I recognized you. Then I was startled and I wanted to see who was around and ..."
"Oh, OK. How did you find it?"
"It was on the doctors' website, as your dad told you, I guess ... and I wanted to check to make sure he hadn't put more pictures of me on it."
"He'd done that in the past?"
"Yea, well sometimes."
"Bastard," I said. "You can say that again, Nick but, with your help, they'll all be behind bars for good, I guess."
"I don't know if I can, Randy."
"I know, Nick ... it won't be easy ... but leaving them free ... you never know what they might do in the future."
"I guess but still ..."
"I know, it's never easy."
"Did you tell anyone else?" I whispered, again not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
"Well, everyone here today knows."
"You told them? You told them what you saw?" I said, upset, moving closer to him, balling my hands into a fist, not sure if I'd hit him or not.
"No ... go back and lay down. Of course not ... only that I'd seen you on the Internet, nothing more."
I lay back again, relieved. I heard someone coming up the stairs who stopped and then a voice asked, "You OK, Nick?"
"Yea, dad, I'd just misinterpreted something that Randy had said."
"OK, just call if you need me?"
"I will."
"Hmmm, I guess everyone is a bit on edge at the moment," Randy said.
"It seems so. So you didn't tell them anything?"
"No, of course not, Nick. I couldn't, even if they'd asked."
"Good. I just want to make sure that you don't ... especially Francis. I'm sure I'll tell him one day but it has to come from me."
"I can understand that Nick ... don't worry."
"So, are you are going to stay or go back?"
"Back. I need to be home for two weeks but, if you wish, I can come for a weekend then or later to spend with you guys."
"That sounds like a plan, Randy. Maybe I'll have left this a bit behind me by then and I'll be able to have some fun again."
"You will, Nick, you just need time."
There was silence for a moment. There was one more question that had been bugging me; Randy was one of the persons who could answer it.
I start to whisper. "Did you see them, Randy?"
He didn't answer that one, so I asked again. "Do you know who was there with me, Randy?"
It remained quiet. He must have seen them. I'm sure he'd said that he'd watched it long enough to know who'd done this to me.
"You saw them, didn't you?" I said a bit louder this time. "Who were they?"
"You really want to know, Nick?"
That confirmed it. He knew.
"Yea."
"Hmmm, maybe later, Nick, but not today ... you've had enough."
"Were they old? Were they young? What did they look like?"
"No, I really don't think this is the time to tell you, Nick. You've had enough."
"Please, Randy, I have to know. I have to recognize them if they ever walk up to me."
"No, it's not up to me to decide that, Nick."
"Please, Randy." I started to get upset now. Why didn't he want to tell me who it had been? What more of a shock could it be to know? It couldn't be that bad, could it?
"No, Nick ... maybe later ... but not now."
"Randy, who were they?" I started to yell now. I'd sat up again while shouting, and he backed away and turned towards the door.
"No, Nick, not now."
"Who, Randy? I need to know. I thought you were my friend."
I was definitely losing control, and I heard people start to come up the stairs.
I couldn't make out what happened then, as they talked quietly and then pulled Randy out of my room.
He knew he had to tell me. I'd never be able to ask Mike. Randy was the only who could help me. I needed to know. I started to get out of bed when the door was pushed open again.
My dad came into the room. There were still voices in the background, not only in the hallway now but, I think, downstairs as well.
"You're sure you want that answer now, Nick?" my dad asked me.
"He's the only one who knows, dad. I can't ask Mike."
"Yea, I know ... but do you really feel that you can deal with this now?"
"Yea, why not? It can't hurt me more than I am already."
"OK, wait," he said.
He turned around and closed the door. Again, there were more noises on the stairs and talk downstairs.
My god! Why was this such a difficult question? I'd just asked him to describe them. They were all just walking on eggshells. How did they know I couldn't handle whatever they were hiding?
I'd laid back down on the bed. I wasn't dressed properly ... they'd taken my clothes off when they put me to bed. I hadn't realized that until I tried to get out of bed.
More talk downstairs and some of it was loud, others soft ... but still I couldn't make out who said what, and I certainly didn't know why they were talking like that.
Then it became quite silent and I heard steps coming up the stairs again.
The door opened and I frowned when Peter and Andrew walked in.
"Hey, you guys!" I said.
They didn't really respond to that. They had a grave look on their faces.
"They sent you up as a diversion, did they? Randy didn't have the guts to come back?"
I saw a tear running down Peter's cheek. "Please forgive us, Nick," Andrew whispered.
Did I hear that correctly? I looked at them, back and forth, but their gaze rested on the bed.
"Forgive you for what? ... oh, no ... this can't be."
"Sorry, Nick," Peter whispered this time.
"You were there?" as I suddenly realized why Randy didn't want to tell me.
"YOU WERE THERE? You helped Mike?" I asked with fury in my voice.
"Please ... let us explain, Nick. You have every right to be angry, and you probably won't want to see us any more after tonight ... but please, let us explain." I looked at them. I could see that this wasn't easy for them, either. "OK, I'll listen."
Ok that was a long summers break but I hope you can forgive me for that. I am trying to write a bit more and of cause soon there is a big celebration coming up. I attend to post until the end of October on a regular basis but we will see how writing goes.
For now guys just to remind you all if you want to see more about my writings visit my website at www.geocities.com/timsfunplace
Or if you want to kept updated with new updates on my website you can join my yahoo group at groups.yahoo.com/group/underwearspankinggay.
At last I want you to remind of the fact that for the celebration I want to make a map of the world with on it where all my readers are from so if you want to be a part of that or want to give comments on this chapter send me an e-mail at noway16@hotmail.com.