Cockatoo

Cockatoo Part 27

Nikkie Silk

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Shane's lips brushed mine so gently I wasn't sure he had kissed me at all, as if he was still giving me the chance to back out. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips onto his and I felt the pressure increase and we were kissing properly, his lips crushing mine. I felt lightheaded, and the blood began to pound in my ears as I felt his arm pull me closer. I hesitantly put my hand up to his face to stroke his cheek, and I was shocked to feel his stubble beneath my fingers. It was enough to jerk me into the reality what I was doing and I froze. What the hell was I doing?

I was tired and lonely and scared, and I wanted some comfort from somebody, but this had gone far too far. It was flattering that Shane was attracted to me, and I liked him, but not in the same way, surely? I had allowed myself to be drawn into something I wasn't prepared for; it seems I did still have some boundaries, and despite the dressing and the acting as a woman, I wasn't ready for anything else.

Shane sensed something had changed, `What's the matter, Jamie?'

`I can't do this, Shane, I'm sorry.'

He brushed my hair back but I couldn't look at him. He lifted my chin with his finger and said, `Don't worry, Jamie. It's been a hell of a day and you're tired and lonely. It's OK, I understand.'

I felt like I was tottering on the edge of an abyss and that a slip would send me tumbling down.

`Shane, I'm so sorry and I can't explain, but it wouldn't be right to go on.'

`It's OK, babe, I understand. It's OK. If you want to go back on the bed it's fine, we can forget all about this. It never happened, OK?'

I didn't know what to say. I felt horrible. Shane had given me plenty of opportunity to back out and I had ignored him. What did I think I was doing? He had been a hero with the ambush, God knows what would have happened if he hadn't been there. I owed him a lot, but I couldn't go any further.

`Shane, I've been a fool, and you've been so nice. Maybe one day, I can tell you the whole story, but I'm sorry for leading you on. I do like you, but it's not right. Shit, I'm not making much sense.'

`It's cool, Jamie, nothing happened, right? You're great and I like you, but I'm not going to push you if it's not what you want. You'll work it out, no worries.'

He paused, giving me time to sort out what to do next.

`Jamie, it's up to you babe, if you want go back on the bed that's fine, if you want to stay down here that's good with me too. Nothing will happen, I promise.'

The tone of his voice led me to believe that he also wanted some company. He was a tough guy, but like all of us he needed some comfort too. I made up my mind, it was the least I could do for him.

`Can I stay here? Do you mind?'

I could sense he was grinning, `Jamie, no worries, just kick me if I snore.'

`OK, Shane, sleep well.'

`G'night, Jamie.'

As tired as I was, sleep didn't come quickly. I lay there cursing myself for what I had done. Yet, somewhere deep down there was some part of me that had wanted it, and it was that thought which kept swirling around in my mind. Shane began to snore gently as he fell asleep and eventually my eyelids became too heavy for me to resist and I drifted off.

`Jamie! Jamie!' I woke with a start to see Nin looking down at me from the edge of the bed with her eyes wide open. I felt something heavy on me and groggily realised that Shane's arm was draped over my waist and he must have been spooning up to me from behind. Shit, this doesn't look good. I gently slipped his arm away from my waist, slid away from Shane and pointed to the bathroom for Nin to follow me in there. We managed to get to the bathroom without waking Shane and I sat on the toilet seat with my head in my hands.

`What happen?' asked Nin.

`Nin, nothing happened, well nothing much anyway. Oh, hell, I tried to kiss him, I think.'

She giggled, her hand up to her mouth, `You think? Don't you know?'

I put my head back in my hands, `Well yes, I tried to kiss him but we didn't, well we did, but I stopped. Shit, I don't know what I did.' I was babbling now, and I decided that saying nothing was better than trying to explain it.

`Why you next to Shane?' Nin was not going to let me off the hook.

`Nin, I was tired, I missed Areeya and Alex and I thought I wanted some comfort and he said I could come down next to him, then he put his arm around me and then I kissed him. I panicked when I realised what I was doing and stopped. That was it, honestly. Shane was really nice about it but I feel terrible.'

Nin came and knelt in front of me and took my hands in hers. She smiled, `Jamie, there's nothing to worry about then. If Shane alright about it then It all OK.' I looked up at her and she gave me a hug.

`But there must have been a bit of me that wanted it, Nin.'

`So what, Jamie? Shane very nice, he like you, you like him, what to worry about?' She smiled, and I had the distinct feeling Nin would have liked Shane to like her too.

I hugged her back, and she pulled me up and said, `We need to get you ready, you look a mess. You take shower and I fetch your stuff, we get you ready for drive to Bangkok.' I slipped off the towel I had been wearing along with the bra, the breast forms, wig and my knickers. I turned the shower on and gratefully let the warm water wash over me, easing away some of the stress I was feeling.

Nin came back into the bathroom with my bag, Shane awake, he say if you need help to wash your back, he glad to help.' I looked aghast at her and she collapsed into giggles. I joking, he said he go see if we can get breakfast.' She slipped off her bra and knickers and tossed them into the corner. She caught me looking at her breasts and said, You like?' I blushed again as she giggled, Pao right, you have nice cock.' I laughed, realising that these girls kept no secrets from each other. `I think you have a nice cock too, Nin.'

She smiled broadly, `Thank you Jamie, I hope maybe one day I get bonus like Pao?'

I blushed again, `I would be happy to do that, Nin.' She had shaken me out of my self pity and I felt like things might not be as bad as they seemed. Nin had her shower as I shaved and then she set to work on me. She wasn't as skilful as Lawan but she still made a good job of my makeup. I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought I looked OK. Some of the fear of being caught out had left, but it still felt odd to feel the weight of the breast forms tugging the bra strap as I moved. It had been a good move for the girls to give me some extra makeup and a fresh pair of knickers to wear. We had not planned for me to spend a long time dressed, so I would have to wear the same skirt and top from the previous day, but they didn't look too bad. Nin and I emerged from the bathroom just as Shane arrived back in the room.

`G'day girls, how are you? Sleep well, I hope? You both look very nice this morning.'

I couldn't look him in the eye and Nin said, `Thank you Shane, we slept very well. I hope you did too. No disturbances in the night, I hope?' I blushed and looked away.

Shane looked at me and said, `No, none at all, slept like a log. Anyway, there's a place down the road where we can get some food to eat on the way. The hotel have found us a taxi, so we can be on the road quickly.'

He held the door open for us and I scampered through, still not able to look him in the eye. We managed to buy some fruit, spring rolls and fish cakes to eat for breakfast, but we couldn't get coffee, so we had to make do with bottled water. I was desperate for some coffee so Nin told our driver to stop at the first place where we could pick some up. We climbed into yet another mini bus and set off for Bangkok, hopefully we would make it this time. This time I made sure to sit next to Nin, not allowing Shane a chance, not that I thought he would after last night. Nobody felt much like chatting and before long Shane was asleep, hunched up in his seat, and Nin followed soon after, her head resting gently on my shoulder.

We had started early but now the road was beginning to fill up with trucks and coaches, motorcycle and mini buses taking half asleep people to work. My mind wandered as I began to think about what I would say to Kritsada. It struck me then that if his phones were being listened to then he might also be under surveillance. I groaned inwardly as I realised that meant I would have to meet him dressed as I was. It maybe hadn't been all bad that I wasn't able to change into my male clothes as we had planned. Areeya knew Kritsada was going to be in Bangkok for the next few days so with our arrival in Bangkok due about midday, we could go to his office and somehow get to see him there.

I wasn't thrilled about meeting Kritsada dressed like this, but at least Nin would be with me. I turned to watch her as she slept, her breasts rising and falling with her breathing. I had grown very fond of her over the past few days and she had been a good choice for this trip.

Inevitably my thoughts went back to last night, and I cringed as I thought about what I had done, but Nin's calm words came back to me, `Shane very nice, he like you, you like him, what to worry about?' That was true, but no amount of rationalising could cover up that I had been tempted and had pulled away only at the last moment.

In the months since I had been in Koh Samui, my life had been turned upside down and I had shattered whatever boundaries I had from my previous life. How far would I go? Was I just tired and lonely last night and was looking for solace? Or was it something else? Was there another boundary that I had to push down in this new life? For sure, I was flattered that Shane liked me, but I had never had thoughts about a man before. I discounted Alex, for irrespective of how we made love, I had fallen in love with her as a woman. Had Alex seen something in me all those years ago at university when he had tried to seduce me? Maybe I had been so deeply closeted then that it took meeting Alex again to bring me out? At that moment the driver called out something in Thai and he pulled into a service station. He turned round and said, Coffee.' I woke Nin and Shane and we trooped inside in search of coffee. I grabbed Nin by the hand and whispered, I need to pee, come with me.' Shane offered to get the coffees as Nin and I disappeared into the toilets.

`Nin, where are we going to get Shane to drop us off? He will want to take us to your parents, but we have to get to Kritsada's office. We can't ask him to drop us there.'

She thought for a moment before saying, `I will ask him to drop us at the railway station, tell him we have to get train to my parent's place. Then we go to Kritsada office.'

`OK, that sounds good. If Kritsada is being watched I have to go dressed like this. I don't know how we will get inside to see him.'

`OK, you stuck as Jamie for a bit longer. Are you OK with that?'

I'll have to be,' I said, there's no choice.'

We headed back to where Shane was waiting with the coffees and we sat in silence as we drank.

I turned to Nin, Can you get us some more snacks for the rest of the journey, please?' She looked puzzled but nodded and headed off. I turned to Shane and said, Shane, I want to apologise for last night for what I did, it was stupid of me and I also want to thank you for being so gracious about it.'

He looked at me without saying anything and then looked away for a moment before speaking, `Jamie, there is nothing to apologise for, nothing happened as far as I'm concerned and I don't want you to worry about it. It's all good for me.'

I touched his hand briefly and said, `Thank you, you're a star.'

He smiled, `But for God's sake talk to me, will you? I can't stand the silent treatment I've had this morning.'

I laughed, `OK, that's a deal.' We were laughing as Nin returned with a bag of snacks and water. She looked from me to Shane with a puzzled look and then shrugged.

The journey back to Bangkok passed more quickly as we chatted and dozed. We passed Hua Hin, where the king has a palace, and sped towards the sprawling outskirts and traffic jams of Bangkok. Soon we slowed to a crawl with tuk-tuks and motorcycles adding to the mayhem that is Bangkok traffic. Nin had told Shane that we should be dropped at the railway station and he had tried to argue, suggesting that he take us all the way, but Nin insisted we be left at the station. We swapped telephone numbers and said that we would keep in touch. I thanked him for the taxi ride and for everything he had done for us. He said it was nothing and that he had enjoyed our company on the trip.

We stopped at the station and Shane wanted to see us off but the driver said he couldn't wait. Shane lifted out Nin's bag and gave her a big hug, almost lifting her off her feet and kissed her cheek. She was blushing and giggling at the same time. He turned to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me tight into his chest. I tentatively put my arms around him and he whispered in my ear, `It wasn't to be this time, Jamie, maybe there will be another time.'

He let go of me, kissed my cheek, turned to hurry back to the bus and we waved to him as he disappeared into the traffic.

Nin looked wistfully after him, `He nice man, Jamie. We were lucky to have him on the trip.'

`We were so lucky, Nin. Very lucky indeed.' To myself I thought, maybe a bit too lucky, but I shook it off and we looked for a taxi. We arrived at Kritsada's office and I had sorted out a plan how to get Kritsada's attention. I told Nin to call his office and to tell his secretary that there was a special gift delivery of GlenDronach waiting for him at reception to and that we had orders to hand deliver it to him. I guessed he wouldn't resist the opportunity of a bottle of his favourite whisky. The secretary told us to wait in reception and that someone would be down shortly.

We sat and waited for a few minutes and then the doors opened and Kritsada emerged and we stood as he approached. We both bowed and pressed our hands together in a wai. He nodded, looked at me quizzically, but then shot a question to Nin in Thai. She replied softly to him and motioned towards me. `Sawasdee Kha Khun Kritsada, I have a message for you from your daughter sir. She wishes you are well and hopes you would receive us in private for a message for your ears only.'

He looked baffled and then his expression changed to one of incredulity. He took another look at me and started to say, `James?'

`It's Jamie, sir and we do have to talk in private.'

He nodded and said something to the receptionist. Nin whispered to me, `Kritsada asked for his car to be brought to the front door.'

A few minutes later a large black Mercedes drew up and Kritsada indicated we should follow him outside and a uniformed driver leapt out and opened the doors for us. Kritsada indicated I should join him in the back and Nin went to the front. He gave some instructions to the driver as we headed out into the heavy traffic. He placed his finger on his lips and we sat in silence as the driver weaved his way through the traffic. We pulled up outside a shabby looking restaurant somewhere in Patpong. Kritsada led the way inside and then straight through to the back of the restaurant. He opened a door and ushered us both inside. In contrast to the dowdy restaurant it turned out to be a luxuriously furnished lounge with a bar, sofas, low tables and large screen televisions.

`Please sit down and let me get you both a drink so you can explain what the hell is going on.'

I asked for a whisky and Nin a coke. Kritsada came back with two glasses of scotch and a coke for Nin.

`Clever to get my attention with the GlenDronach, but now tell me why you are dressed like this.'

`Is this place secure, sir, I mean is it possible this could be bugged?'

`James, or should I call you Jamie? This is a place I bring my closest friends for private meetings and to watch football, I guarantee you it's not bugged.'

I picked up a remote control and turned the TV on and a pop music channel was playing K-pop videos.

I'm sorry sir, but I want to make sure.' He shrugged, confident now he was dealing with a madman. Nin was trying to make herself as small as possible, not wanting to attract Kritsada's attention. You remember the last time I was here, sir?'

`Of course, it was only last week.'

I told him about my meeting with Jandaeng after I had left Kritsada's office and the way Jandaeng had tried to threaten me if I would not work for him to spy on Kritsada. I told him about Jandaeng letting slip that he knew I would be doing some off the books work for Kritsada which meant that Jandaeng either had a mole or was bugging Kritsada, or possibly both. I said that we assumed the phones would be bugged and that the only safe way to get a message across was to hand deliver it. We decided I had to be the one as Kritsada might not believe it from anyone else. I explained that I had travelled as Jamie so that I wouldn't be spotted. I told him about the lost suitcase and the holdup as well leading us to be here later than planned.

I finished and Kritsada sipped his drink and sat for a while, his face giving nothing away. He glanced down at his watch and then looked at me. `Firstly, let me give you my thanks for what you have done. When I first saw you I thought you had taken leave of your senses, but please forgive me that reaction. I have always assumed that I am in the crosshairs, I think you say, of the police for many reasons, and yes, I know that my phones are tapped. But it does add to my suspicions that one of my employees is conspiring against me. Jandaeng is known to me although I did not know he was so interested in my activities. I will have to think about how I protect myself from him and you will be able to help me track down my internal spy. James, I know that you have done this primarily for Areeya and Alex, but I do thank you for what you have done, It reinforces my view that you are a resourceful and courageous man. James, I find myself once more in your debt, and I think you know that is an unusual situation for me.'

He paused and looked at Nin, `I congratulate you both on what you have done. It sounds as if you have had a remarkable time. What do you intend to do now?'

`We need to head back to Samui, sir, and then we can come back as planned next week to start our project. It's what Jandaeng expects.'

He laughed, `then I think we should give Jandaeng just what he wants, a spy on the inside. We can use that if we play this carefully. When will you head back?'

`I think as soon as possible, sir, but maybe we can stay overnight and catch a train back tomorrow morning. We should go down to Surat Thani and cross to Samui from there. I don't want to go back through Lomprayah this time. After what happened there it might be too dangerous.'

`I think you're right to be wary. I would offer you the company plane, but I think that would attract too much attention. I will arrange for you to stay here, there are some rooms at the back for let's say special occasions. This is undoubtedly one of them.'

`Thank you, sir. Can I ask one favour?'

He raised an eyebrow, `Of course.'

`I would like to get out of these clothes, and as I lost my clothes on the ferry, could you lend me some money to buy some?'

I will certainly arrange for you to have some clothes but they will be my gift, not a loan. But,' he frowned and paused, surely you will be going back in female clothes? If someone has seen you then it could be dangerous to revert to James now? You have made a remarkable transition to Jamie, and I think it best to stay that way.'

I realised with a sinking feeling that he was right. He smiled, `Why don't I let Nin here go and buy you some nice clothes for tonight and for the journey back. She knows your size, and I am sure she will choose well. I have accounts in many stores, it should not be a problem. Nin, would this be possible? Please also choose some clothes for yourself as well. It is a small token for what you have done.'

Nin smiled from ear to ear. `I would be happy to go shopping for Jamie.'

`Good, that's settled then. I will make arrangements for Nin to sign on my account, and for your stay here. It is perfectly safe, although from the outside it may look a little undesirable, it helps to make it more discreet. Jamie, I am very grateful for your efforts to warn me of Jandaeng and I will not forget the service you have done me. I will see you both next week as agreed.'

He bowed to me, and then to Nin and left the room. Nin giggled, This will be fun, Jamie. I get to go shopping for us.' I shrugged, The sooner this is over, Nin, the happier I will be.'

'Do you not enjoy dressing as a girl even a little bit, Jamie?'

Her question caught me by surprise. `Nin, I don't know. At first I was terrified but as I relaxed and became more confident, I started to feel better about it. I guess, yes, it has been fun to be someone else. It makes me feel a little different too. I can see how men treat me differently as a woman.'

`You mean Shane?'

No, well yes, a bit. It was weird to find someone attracted to me dressed as a girl. But I feel different dressed like this, calmer, more relaxed in a funny way. It's odd the way men look at you. I feel a bit shy, really.' I ran out of words and Nin smiled. It not all bad Jamie.'

No you're right, Nin, not all bad. But I haven't thanked you for everything you've done for me.' I hugged her for a moment. I couldn't have done this without you, you've been great.'

Nin actually blushed, I have enjoyed it Jamie, you so nice and brave to do this for Miss Areeya.' Personally I still thought I was mad to be doing this, but I didn't say that. Kritsada returned and apologised but there was only one room available as the others were occupied tonight. I looked at Nin and she shrugged, We don't mind sharing a room, it's no problem.'

He took us through to the back of the room and showed us into a large beautifully decorated bedroom with an en suite bathroom and a very large double bed. I glanced at Nin and she winked which made me blush. I thanked Kritsada, and he apologised but he had to leave to take care of some urgent business. He thanked us both once more and gave Nin a card which he said would allow her to charge whatever she wished at the Central Embassy Shopping Mall. I saw Nin's eyes light up at the prospect of shopping in such an upmarket mall.

When he left I flopped onto the bed and let out a huge sigh. Nin lay beside me and I felt for her hand and we lay there for a while just feeling the stress of the day ebb away. I rolled over and saw that she had fallen asleep and I watched her as she slept, thinking her beautiful as she slept. I couldn't get to sleep as I wondered what the rest of this already fraught trip to Bangkok would bring.

Nin woke soon after and she couldn't wait to go shopping. She touched up her makeup before she left, telling me to get some sleep as she had plans for us tonight. I groaned inwardly as I could only imagine what that could mean. Nin disappeared, and I took off my clothes and the wig, and luxuriated in a bath, the first one I had taken for a long time. I wrapped myself into a fluffy dressing gown I found in the bathroom, tumbled back onto the bed and this time fell fast asleep.

It seemed to be only a few minutes later when Nin was waking me up by shaking my shoulder.

`Jamie, Jamie, wake up, I got shopping.'

I managed to prise my eyes open to see Nin standing in the middle of the room surrounded by bags with names like Chanel, Dior and Gucci. I like shopping.' said Nin grinning all over her face. Come on, have a look at what I bought for you.' She was like a kid in a toy store, dragging stuff from bag after bag. I eventually got her down from her shopping high and we laid out what she had bought on the bed. She had got a couple of outfits for each of us for tonight and underwear and a couple of choices for traveling back tomorrow.

`The shops say that we choose what we want and then they will take back the rest. They call Khun Kritsada and he say that OK.'

Nin took off her clothes and stood there naked, ready to try on her clothes and I thought just how beautiful she was. A perfectly formed woman's body with breasts that were small but wonderfully shaped, but with a cock dangling from her groin. Her cock was small but on her it looked perfect, and I instinctively licked my lips as I looked at it, just a few feet away from me. She caught me looking and giggled, twirled around so that her hair and her cock flew out. She was teasing me and I was finding it increasingly difficult to stop myself responding. I coughed again and said, Let's see what you got me.' She pouted and said, OK, take off dressing gown.' I took it off and Nin whistled as I did so, making me blush once more.

`OK, OK, I stop now,' but she was still grinning. She handed me a bag from Victoria's Secret and out tumbled a collection of bras and knickers. I picked it up, and it felt so light and lacy on my fingers.

Nin picked up one bra and said, Try this one, it lovely, I think it suits you.' She came up behind me and pulled the bra straps over my arms and I could feel her breasts pressing against my back. I shivered and she giggled again, You like? bra I mean.'

She slid the breast forms into the cups of the bra and I felt the bra straps tighten and pull against my skin. I had gotten used to the weight of the forms but the tug of the bra straps was becoming a serious turn on for me. Nin grabbed the matching knickers and knelt in front of me, made me place first one foot and then the other into the knickers, then slid the soft material up my legs encasing my cock and balls. I could not help my reaction and my cock stiffened as it nestled into the lacy material of the knickers.

I think you like this,' Nin said as she reached out and stroked my cock with her fingers. I let out a whimper as her touch almost overwhelmed me and looked down to see her rubbing my growing cock through the knickers. She looked up and whispered, You want me to take care of this, Jamie?' I looked down, and I was so horny by now all I could do was nod. I watched as she slipped down the front of the knickers and slid my cock straight into her mouth. The feeling was so exquisitely stimulating that I threw back my head and moaned out loud. My hands fell instinctively to her head as I felt her tongue swirling around the tip of my cock. I looked down again to see her head bobbing to and fro as she took my cock all the way to the root, and I could feel her nose graze my skin. She let my cock slide from her mouth and she spat on it and used her hand to make me even harder. I was so aroused it didn't take me long to build to a climax and she took me back into her mouth to catch my cum as it shot into the back of her throat. As it did so, my legs buckled and I had to steady myself against the wall.

Nin stood up and kissed me and her tongue forced open my lips and she pushed my cum into my mouth. I gagged but managed to swallow it as Nin took a step back smiling and wiping her mouth with her hand. She reached a finger, wiped a stray drop of cum from my lip, slid the finger into her mouth and licked it clean. `You like, Jamie? Pao is right, you do taste nice.' She kissed me once more, then danced away to the bathroom. I stood there transfixed, I had never been blown so fast or so efficiently by anyone; Pao, Alex or Areeya. Nin would win a gold medal if the Olympics had a speed cock sucking event.

She emerged from the shower a little later, a towel wrapped around her head in a turban and wearing nothing but a smile. In the meantime I had looked into the bags and had rejected many of the sexier outfits Nin had brought along and instead had chosen a bright red pleated skirt that came down to my ankles but which had two slits almost to the waist on both sides. When I walked it showed a lot of leg but I thought it would be nice and cool in the evening. I also selected a white lace top which wasn't totally see through, but which I also thought would be cool to wear.

Nin whistled as she emerged and saw me wearing the outfit in front of the mirror. 'Very nice, Jamie, you have good taste.' I blushed and said that she had picked them so she was the one with good taste. She laughed and dived into the bags to pick out her outfit. In contrast to me Nin picked a beautiful Gucci floral lace miniskirt and a tight black lace Alexander McQueen crop top. I stared open mouthed at her, `You look gorgeous Nin.' She did a twirl in front of me and she did look breathtaking. She dragged me into the bathroom and opening up yet another bag she set about my makeup. She talked to me all time she was doing it, telling me what she was doing. She finished and slid the wig back onto my head and let me see what she had done. I looked quite different this time, the makeup was darker and heavier, but with the addition of a necklace and a bracelet she produced from yet another bag, she declared herself happy.

OK, Jamie, we go out now, trust me I take care of you. We go have a little fun tonight.' With a swift kiss to my cheek she pulled me out through the restaurant onto the street. This time I felt more confident and less inhibited about dressing, it seemed now more natural to me as we walked arm in arm down the streets of Patpong. We were on the end of some looks from people, but they only seemed to be intrigued at the farang and Thai girl walking together. Nin was in her element of course, and I remembered that she had worked here in Bangkok before going to Koh Samui. She must have mixed feelings about coming back I thought, but she seemed to be happy enough. As we passed King's Corner bar a group of girls outside screamed loudly and ran over to surround and embrace Nin who was laughing and high fiving them. She grabbed me and said something in Thai to the girls who turned to look at me with appraising eyes. I told them you my friend from Samui, you want to see what kathoey life is like. You might want to do it. I know these girls from my time here in Bangkok. They nice girls.'

Before I could say anything we were both dragged into the bar and the mamasan came across to see what all the fuss was about. The mamasan reached out, pinched my arm and aimed a volley in Thai at Nin who listened and said something back as the mamasan kept nodding her head at me. Nin shook her head and replied, to the mamasan's obvious disappointment.

`What did she say?' I asked Nin.

Nin was trying and failing to hold back a smile, She ask if you were kathoey, I say yes and she ask if you want to work tonight, she know many Thai men pay lots for short time with girl like you.' She laughed as she saw the horrified look on my face, Don't worry I said not this time, maybe next time you in Bangkok.'

`What?' I spluttered.

`Chill Jamie, you not going to come back anyway, makes it easy this way.' The mamasan pulled at my wig, made a face and said something to Nin.

`She say your wig not good, she have better one in back, do you want to try it?' I wasn't sure Alex would be happy to hear her wig being trashed in such a way, but without really thinking about it I nodded to Nin, who grabbed my hand and dragged me with the mamasan into the back of the bar. There were the usual rooms at the back and some very familiar noises coming from one of them. We walked into what seemed to be the kathoeys' dressing room with one of the girls sitting at the makeup mirror, smoking and reading a magazine. The mamasan shouted at her, and she lazily stood up, took a deep drag on her cigarette, flicked her hair disdainfully and stalked back into the bar. She was followed by what was obviously a stream of abuse from the mamasan.

Nin shrugged her shoulders and sat me down in the recently vacated chair in front of the mirror. The mamasan carefully removed my blonde wig and returned with a long black wig in both hands. She shook it out and smoothed it over my head, and then I saw just how long it was. My blonde wig had ended just below my shoulders, but this one must have reached halfway down my back. The mamasan eased it onto my head and I immediately felt the difference in weight. She brushed it back from in front of my face and I could not believe my eyes. The blonde wig was good, but this one changed my whole face. The colour seemed to make my skin glow and the extra length made my face look narrower and smaller. I could not resist putting my fingers up to brush back the hair and to turn my head to see how it looked in profile. I turned to look at Nin and she was smiling broadly at me.

`Jamie, it looks good on you, don't you think?'

I nodded and felt the hair move with my head, `It makes such a difference, I wouldn't have recognised myself like this.'

The mamasan was nodding and smiling and I turned to her, Khap kun ka, mamasan.' I think for some reason she had taken a liking to me and was saying something in Thai. Nin said, She wants to know if change your mind about working tonight, she say you make good money tonight.'

I laughed and told Nin to tell her no, but I would consider it when I next come back. Nin came round to face me looked closely at my face, brushed back some of the hair, `With new hair you need new makeup to match, will you let me try?'

I was strangely excited by the transformation the wig had made and I thought why not? I nodded to Nin who grabbed some makeup one of the girls had left there and got to work. She turned me away from the mirror so I couldn't see what was going on. She worked quickly, but I knew she was doing a lot more than she had done earlier on. She started with my eyes and before long the mamasan had produced a pair of false eyelashes which Nin carefully applied. Nin moved onto my lips and she used a pencil at first followed by a brush to apply what I guessed was lip gloss. She looked at me from different angles and obviously declared herself happy, before turning me to face the mirror. I gasped as I looked at what she had done. My lips were a brilliant scarlet and my eyes were a masterpiece. She had used several colours to darken the upper lid and to feather it into the corner of the eye. Together with the false eye lashes which, although they felt really odd drew attention to my eyes, which now looked enormous.

Oh my God,' I said, almost not able to speak properly. Nin and the mamasan hugged each other and were grinning like they would never stop. You like?' asked the mamasan, revealing that she knew some English. I smiled at her, `Yes, I like very much.' She leant down and gave me a hug, then kissed my cheek. Nin grabbed my hand and pulled me up and headed off to the bar. The girls took one look at me and went crazy, crowding round me and talking excitedly to each other. They wanted to take pictures of me, both by myself and with them. I admit I was getting carried away with the attention and was frankly preening and posing like mad. Nin was never far away, and she took a few selfies of the two of us and I was astounded at how I looked. Sure, I was no model, but with the wig and makeup I thought I looked OK.

The mamasan clapped her hands, and it was obvious that she wanted the girls to get back to work. They scattered and some went onto the stage to dance and some went outside. Business was beginning to pick up and the bar was getting busier. I sat down with Nin and she smiled, `Jamie, you can't tell me that wasn't fun.'

I grinned back, Yeah, that was fun, I have to admit. What a difference the wig and the makeup made. Thanks Nin, you've been great.' As I leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek she moved her head slightly and I ended up kissing her on the lips. I felt for the first time the sensation of lipstick against lipstick, the taste of mine mingling with Nin's, the erotic slipperiness of our lips as they moved against each other. I heard myself make a small moan in my throat and my tongue slipped into Nin's mouth. Her eyes opened wide and I imagine mine must have too. I pulled back and muttered Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that.' Nin sighed and said, `No worries, Jamie. Nothing wrong.'

We were both flustered, and were saved by one of the girls coming over and sitting down with us. She seemed to be very interested in Nin and as they chattered away to themselves, I scanned the bar. This was another difference between being a man and a woman. As a man I was the predator, I was the one looking and checking out everyone. I could hold eye contact with whoever I wanted. Sitting here dressed as a woman I knew I was the prey surrounded by predators. Some men would glance at me quickly as if they were really looking somewhere else and accidentally looked at me. Others would blatantly stare and keep eye contact, and I found myself unnerved by this directness, unused to the hungry looks that men give to women. I had never been aware of this even in Cockatoo on Samui, and I spent many hours there. This felt very different, and I could maybe understand women better when they talked of their feeling of insecurity.

However, as I watched I realised there were really two kinds of predator at work here; the customers and the girls. The men, they were mostly men in the bar, but there were some couples around, thought themselves the predator in search of the prey. However, the girls were as much the predator as the men, but the men didn't know they were prey. The girls could size up in an instant who would give them the best return for their time. They could tell the time wasters, those who came to ogle and take their time over a single bottle of Leo. They spent little time with them preferring those further up the food chain. There were the newbies, so nervous you could practically smell them. They were good because it would all be over quickly and the girls could move on to the next target. They didn't tip much, but it was an efficient use of the girls time.

There were the ones fascinated by the kathoey culture, married and jaded with their vanilla sex lives at home. So many of the men were married, the white circle around the finger where they had slipped off the ring would often give them away. The boys on tour crowd were good value for the girls, who could separate their prey from the rest of the herd in an instant. They were there for `the laughs', egging each other on so that they could have something to brag about when they got home. The girls could blow them so quickly that the boys would walk out looking embarrassed.

The girls could also mostly tell the odd ones, those who just didn't seem `right'. The ones who were looking for something that wasn't on the menu. There were psychopaths too, but those are really hard to spot. They can act like you and me but their sole objective is their own pleasure, and the girls hated them. There were the good ones too, the men who really were attracted to the kathoeys and sometimes, just sometimes, ended up with a kathoey girlfriend. I knew all about that, of course.

From time to time, one of the bar girls would come and sit with me and chat across me to Nin. A hand would slide under the table, would rub my cock and as I responded they would giggle and slip away again. I was supplied with beers as the night wore on and once the mamasan came to sit with me and tried one more time to get me to go with one of the men who had asked for me. I smiled and turned her down, but she didn't seem too bothered, and stroked my cheek and even kissed me there once. She said something to Nin who looked puzzled but translated, `She says you remind her of a farang kathoey she had at another bar a few years back.'

It was with a shock I realised it might have been Alex she was talking about. I was going to get Nin to ask the mamasan, but she was called away and I never got the chance to ask her again. A group of English rugby players had come in and there was a lot of shouting and singing as they ogled and good naturedly teased the girls. I had been kept supplied with drinks and to be honest I was pretty buzzed by this time. An older guy came over and asked if he could buy Nin a drink. She said, Yes, if you buy my friend Jamie, one too.' I shot her a foul look, but he grinned and said, Sure, girls, what you want?' The mamasan arrived as if by magic and he ordered us a couple of ladydrinks. The mamasan actually winked at me as she went off to fetch the drinks.

`I'm Steve, hello to you two lovely girls,' he said and sat between the two of us, putting his arm around my waist. I couldn't pull away as one of the other girls was sat right next to me. He had his other arm around Nin's waist and she was giggling her head off. Steve appeared pretty drunk and was slurring his words as he tried to chat to me and Nin. I saw her slip her hand under the table and by the way Steve was twitching she had grabbed his cock. He leaned over and gave her a kiss. He turned to me and tried to do the same, but I moved my head and I think all he got was a mouth full of hair. He turned back to Nin and soon they were kissing again, but I felt his hand slide onto my leg, and as I grabbed his hand to move it away, I looked up to see a group of Thai men walk into the bar. My heart jumped into my mouth as I recognised the mirrored sunglasses of Inspector Jandaeng.

To be continued.

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